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1
00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:08,360
LES:
This way, my sweet angel.
Come along.
2
00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:10,480
DONNA: I swear to God,
if this is sexual, Les.
3
00:00:10,520 --> 00:00:12,600
You're gonna love it. Tah-dah!
4
00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:17,680
Why are you "tah-dah"ing?
5
00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:19,960
Don't tell me
you've bought this shit-pit?
6
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:24,080
Just picture it, Donna -
a sea of happy young faces,
7
00:00:24,120 --> 00:00:27,120
illuminated by the twinkling lights
of the machines.
8
00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:28,240
And what's that?
9
00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:31,240
The sound of their hard cash
rolling straight into our pockets -
10
00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:34,920
thanking you!
And there, above the door,
11
00:00:34,960 --> 00:00:38,760
for the whole world to see,
our name in neon.
12
00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,480
Les Vegas Arcade.
13
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:42,080
That's your bloody name!
14
00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:45,440
Well, we've gotta think about things
differently now there's three of us.
15
00:00:45,480 --> 00:00:46,920
No. Don't want it. Give it back.
16
00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:49,280
What if I put a little stage
out front?
17
00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:52,040
You promised me
we'd travel the world, Les -
18
00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:54,640
drink cocktails
with fabulous people.
19
00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:57,480
Now you want me to rot here
with half a can of Tango
20
00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,200
and Pac-Man for an audience?
21
00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:01,600
It's a gold mine. Trust me!
22
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,840
I was better off with Bobby Davro.
23
00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:06,200
Donna.
24
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:07,840
Donna...
25
00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:11,760
Donna? Donna?
26
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:13,720
Peru?
27
00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:15,800
They're gonna love you out there.
28
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:17,520
You can be out
serenading the locals,
29
00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:19,120
while I'm sipping on pina coladas.
30
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:21,360
I'm telling you,
when that money comes through,
31
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,520
we can have everything
we always dreamed of -
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00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:27,800
soft white sand,
swaying palm trees, matching thongs.
33
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:29,760
What do you reckon?
34
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:31,280
You had me at thongs.
35
00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:32,720
DOOR CLOSES
36
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,960
Emily.
Yeah, she'll get her 10%.
Well, 6.5. Nothing's in writing.
37
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,320
No. Emily. She's up.
So?
38
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:40,640
So - I'm meant to be
kipping on the sofa.
39
00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,800
I don't want her finding out
like this. She'll give me that face.
40
00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:45,360
Has she got another face?
41
00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,000
Hurry up!
42
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:52,880
She's in the shower.
43
00:01:52,920 --> 00:01:54,560
HE SIGHS
44
00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,040
Until next time, my sweet angel.
45
00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:01,480
Oh! Ow!
46
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,760
Help me up, you idiot.
47
00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:05,600
Just...Swing your legs.
48
00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:08,040
Oh! Ow!
49
00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:10,880
Morning.
50
00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:12,600
Morning, darling!
51
00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:20,880
MUSIC: It's My Life
by Talk Talk
52
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:50,160
RELAXING MUSIC PLAYS
53
00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:53,160
Knock, knock, knock.
54
00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:58,520
Hello, lovey.
You doing a bit of yoga?
55
00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:00,080
Trying to meditate.
56
00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:03,080
Ooh. Room for a little-un? Oh!
57
00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:10,480
I spent a fortnight
at an ashram once,
58
00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:14,360
right on the Ganges.
They are the most hospitable people.
59
00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:17,280
Bend over backwards, literally.
60
00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:19,440
Welcome and Namaste.
61
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,240
Close your eyes.
62
00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:26,640
All today's worries
are drifting away.
63
00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:30,440
Sorry about earlier.
Catching your dad and me like that.
64
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:35,200
We're taking a deep breath in,
and hold.
65
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:36,840
Nothing happened, by the way.
66
00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,760
Now breathe out.
67
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:41,520
Well, not this morning.
Mum, please.
Oh, sorry!
68
00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:44,920
Bloody lights on everywhere
around here.
69
00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:46,640
It's like Sandylands illuminations.
70
00:03:46,680 --> 00:03:48,240
Les, bugger off.
71
00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:51,280
Sorry for saving the planet.
72
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:53,600
Shall we just kill him
and take the money?
73
00:03:53,640 --> 00:03:54,960
SHE LAUGHS
74
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,640
Oh, he told you about the money
then? What was that, 24 hours?
75
00:03:57,680 --> 00:04:02,000
Oh, don't look at Mummy like that,
darling. It's not about the money.
76
00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:06,480
Right.
Emily, I have always
loved your father.
77
00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:08,720
Never met anyone quite like him.
78
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:11,040
Funny, spontaneous.
79
00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:13,160
He could make you feel like
a million quid.
80
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:15,960
I mean, sure,
we've had our ups and downs, but...
81
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:18,400
That bloody arcade.
82
00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:20,280
But it feels different.
83
00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:22,160
Like we're 25 again.
84
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:25,120
Honestly, Mum, it's none of my
business. Hope it all works out.
85
00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:29,320
Oh, thank you, darling!
I really feel he's changed.
86
00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:32,600
LES HUMS A TUNE
87
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,960
TV SWITCHED ON
Oh, thanks, Dad.
88
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:39,080
Bargain Hunt waits for no man.
89
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:42,440
PHONE VIBRATES
90
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:44,360
Oh, I see the police are calling
for you again?
91
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:48,200
Oh, is that the funny little fella
that felt my thigh?
Do you mind?
92
00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,720
I'm not happy about you
hanging around with that bloke.
93
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:52,920
Bloody PC Pervert.
Your mother agrees with me.
94
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,200
I do not!
95
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,200
How long's it been
going on for, darling?
96
00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,600
Give Mummy all the juicy deets.
97
00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:00,080
He's a policeman. How much more of
a juicy deet do you want?
98
00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:01,960
Who I'm friends with
is none of your business.
99
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,800
Oh, "friends", is it?
Yeah, well, I'm always
100
00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:06,440
stopping over at a friend's house
and borrowing his handcuffs.
101
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,200
Wind your neck in, Les.
We've all been there, darling.
102
00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:11,560
You're putting everyone at risk,
Emily.
103
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,640
There's no point in me
holing-up here
104
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,200
if you're gonna bring Miami Nice
home for tea.
105
00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:18,560
Bloody Clinging Detective.
106
00:05:18,600 --> 00:05:20,000
Oh, very good. Any more?
107
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,920
Yeah. Jonathan Creep.
108
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:24,480
Tell me I'm wrong?
Button it, Les.
109
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:26,840
She's old enough
to make her own decisions.
110
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,240
Just play safe, darling, yeah?
111
00:05:28,280 --> 00:05:31,960
It's doomed to fail.
You'll end up hurting the poor lad.
112
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:35,120
Shut up, Dad. Like I'm gonna take
relationship advice from you.
113
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,640
DOORBELL
Ooh, I'll get that.
114
00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:42,640
Berge-prat. There's another one.
115
00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:44,520
Oh, my God. It's relentless.
116
00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,040
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God,
117
00:05:49,080 --> 00:05:53,200
I can't even look at you.
I'm Tina - Tina Taylor.
118
00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:56,160
Emily's BFF, which I think
basically means we're related.
119
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,080
Donna - Donna Vegas.
120
00:05:58,120 --> 00:05:59,800
Yeah, I know who you are, Donna.
121
00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:01,760
Is it true
you once bitch-slapped a Krankie?
122
00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:03,360
Both of them, darling.
123
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:05,160
SHE SQUEALS
124
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:08,920
My God, your hair is amazing.
Look at the bounce on that.
125
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:11,080
Do you backcomb that?
No, it's all natural, love.
126
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,560
Shut up! Can I touch it?
127
00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:15,320
Yeah, knock yourself out.
Oh!
128
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:17,240
Hi, Tina.
There she is!
129
00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:19,680
I'm just touching your mum's hair.
Do you want a go?
130
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:21,160
I'm fine, thanks.
131
00:06:21,200 --> 00:06:23,360
Right, see you later, Mum.
We're off out for the day.
132
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,520
All aboard for Tina Taylor Tours.
Honk-honk, honk-honk!
133
00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,000
Where you going?
134
00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,840
Where aren't we going, more like!
135
00:06:30,880 --> 00:06:32,800
Goodbye, Donna.
136
00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:34,960
And we're following the brolly!
137
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,320
MUSIC: You Spin Me Round
by Dead Or Alive
138
00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:53,680
# If I
139
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,320
# I get to know your name
140
00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,240
# Well, if I
141
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:02,400
# Could trace
your private number, baby... #
142
00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:05,960
Ladies and gentlemen, all aboard for
Sandylands' most popular ride.
143
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,160
That's if you don't count my
ex-wife, Sandra.
144
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:09,840
Ding-ding-ding-ding-doo!
145
00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:10,920
SIREN CHIRPS
146
00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:13,920
Hands in the air.
Hold on tight to your kids,
147
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,040
cos she's taken my two boys.
148
00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:18,520
# You spin me right 'round, baby
Right 'round
149
00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:21,840
# Like a record, baby
Right 'round, 'round, 'round... #
150
00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:25,520
OK, and welcome, everybody,
to Tina Taylor Tours -
151
00:07:25,560 --> 00:07:28,760
AKA Emily's best day out ever.
Quick head count.
152
00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:30,720
One! Right then...
153
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,280
Now, did you know
that Sandylands has 30 days a year
154
00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:36,320
more sunshine than London?
It's actually a micro-climate.
155
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:39,360
Really?
Mm-hm. Yeah. Right,
just smell that sea air for me.
156
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:40,480
SHE SNIFFS
157
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:44,000
Ah, that's gorgeous, isn't it?
That's zero pollution.
158
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:47,280
It's almost too clean,
unlike a certain shit-hole.
159
00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:48,320
I know what you're up to.
160
00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:49,960
Please can you keep it down
at the back?
161
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,760
Tina, I've got to go back
at some point. It is where I live.
162
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,320
Barely! What, sharing some
163
00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:57,560
tin-pot studio flat
with some random from Twatsville?
164
00:07:57,600 --> 00:07:59,240
Oi! There's more to it than that.
165
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:00,960
You would live like a queen here.
166
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,040
Tell me you won't miss the sea?
Tell me.
167
00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:06,800
Nah. Ha! That is one point to
Sandylands.
168
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:09,560
You are gonna be begging me to stay
by the end of the day.
169
00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:11,400
It's gonna take
more than the sea, Tina.
170
00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:13,400
I might actually need you
to murder my dad.
171
00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:15,000
What's he done now?
172
00:08:15,040 --> 00:08:17,880
Well, apart from the fact I caught
him and mum sneaking around
173
00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,520
like a couple of randy teenagers.
174
00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,440
No!
175
00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:22,920
God, I can't say I blame him.
176
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,760
Well, then he's got the nerve
to lecture me about seeing Nathan,
177
00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,040
saying it's doomed to fail.
178
00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:29,400
Take a look in the mirror, Les.
Exactly!
179
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,920
It's none of his business.
Exactly.
Do you know, he's gonna be
180
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:33,960
halfway round the world soon,
anyway.
Exactly.
181
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:35,800
He just doesn't want you
to be happy.
182
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:38,920
It's like sod that guy,
babes, you know?
Yeah!
183
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:42,480
Yeah. Right, gatherin' in,
gatherin' in, gatherin' in.
184
00:08:42,520 --> 00:08:44,640
Have we still got everybody? Yes?
185
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:46,840
Emily. Emily?
186
00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:49,560
Ah. And you won't get that
in London either.
187
00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:50,880
You're gonna get me in trouble.
188
00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:52,480
Yes, I am.
189
00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:03,240
My lawnmower's in there somewhere.
190
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:04,800
HE SNIFFS
191
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,880
I can almost smell it.
192
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:08,480
Steady on, Jeannie!
193
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,240
SHE GROANS
194
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,600
Are you gonna be much longer, Derek?
195
00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:17,080
I'm seeing shapes.
196
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,480
Whoa, there. Sh! Sh!
197
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:20,520
SHE GROANS
198
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,520
Hello.
199
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:24,080
Can I help you?
200
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:27,120
Abort, Jeannie. Abort, abort.
201
00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:28,320
Leg it!
No, no.
202
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:29,800
No, the other way.
203
00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:31,240
Argh!
204
00:09:31,280 --> 00:09:33,480
Oh, you silly woman.
205
00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:34,520
HE GROANS
206
00:09:34,560 --> 00:09:37,680
MUSIC: We Built This City
by Starship
207
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:50,120
OK, question, do you like crazy?
208
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:51,280
Definitely not, no.
209
00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,240
Wrong answer.
I'm looking for yeses only.
210
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:56,960
I'll try again.
DO YOU LIKE CRAZY?
211
00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,960
Get in!
212
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:03,960
Care to make it interesting?
Pound a hole?
213
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,520
That's what she said.
Stop it.
214
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:07,000
You're on, mate, yeah.
215
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:09,960
Be like taking money from
a little speccy baby.
216
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,320
Charming!
217
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:14,200
To be honest, this is probably
gonna be quite boring for me.
218
00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:15,400
I come here all the time.
219
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,960
Probably gonna end up
going round twice.
220
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,400
Fore!
221
00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:24,280
Ooh! Stand back, Tiger Woods.
222
00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:25,720
I will wrap that around your head.
223
00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:27,000
Tina, chill.
224
00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:28,600
I'm chill, I'm chill.
225
00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,000
Just getting my eye in.
226
00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:33,520
That ball's in play, mate!
227
00:10:33,560 --> 00:10:34,840
Watch out.
228
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:37,960
Where'd that go?
229
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,120
So I'm guessing
this was a bit of an ambush?
230
00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:44,160
Mm-hm. Classic Tina.
231
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:46,400
I thought so.
232
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:49,400
I tried to call.
Oh, it's fine.
It's really nice to see you.
233
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,320
Yeah, you too.
234
00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,880
Now, if I were you,
I'd probably stand...
235
00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,080
I'm being hustled.
236
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:02,080
You can take the girl
out of Sandylands.
237
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,800
Watch out, mate.
238
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:11,240
HE EXHALES GENTLY
239
00:11:11,280 --> 00:11:12,720
Do you have to breathe?
240
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:17,960
Oh!
241
00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:31,200
Lend you a hand?
242
00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:37,760
Sorry about all that before.
It's just...
243
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:40,840
I've always pictured her
with someone better, you know?
244
00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:46,000
Someone who'd come over and watch
the game, have a few beers...
245
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,480
..fix the porch light.
246
00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:53,040
Hey, maybe she'll meet someone when
she comes out to see us in Peru?
247
00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:56,600
Nice local lad, good with his hands,
248
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,360
helping us out with the new arcade.
249
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,440
Helping us out with what?
250
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:03,080
The new arcade, in Peru.
251
00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,040
Told you about it this morning,
didn't I?
252
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:09,320
Learned so much from the last one.
253
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:12,480
This is gonna be amazing,
trust me.
254
00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:16,680
I was thinking of naming it
Donna World - after you.
255
00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:19,120
It's what we always dreamed of,
darling.
256
00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,240
Paradise.
257
00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:23,760
DOOR SLAMS
258
00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:27,160
SHE EXHALES
259
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:32,400
Donna, let me in.
260
00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,360
I'm meant to be dead.
261
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:44,640
MUSIC: Close To Me
by The Cure
262
00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:50,440
Bend your knees a bit.
Yep.
263
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:53,000
OK. And it's all in the hips.
264
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,520
Ah!
265
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:57,120
Nice of you to help out the enemy.
266
00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:59,400
Well, I don't want to take
all your money.
267
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,400
Oh, that ball ain't round!
268
00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:05,440
Just to say, good luck.
269
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:06,520
Thank you.
270
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:07,680
Hate to see you mess it up.
271
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:10,440
Well, that won't be happening.
No pressure.
272
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:12,240
Yeah - just remember,
I am a policeman.
273
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:14,000
I could have you nicked!
274
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:20,440
Oh, that was actually better.
275
00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:22,720
Would you mind holding that
while I walk into the sea?
276
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:23,760
SHE CHUCKLES
277
00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:26,200
You know, I'd never have
had you down as a copper?
278
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,520
You sound like my Duty Sergeant.
279
00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,600
It's just, at school,
you were always so...
280
00:13:30,640 --> 00:13:31,920
Please don't say speccy.
281
00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:36,120
No, quiet.
Not that that's a bad thing. I was.
282
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:38,400
I don't want to sound corny, but
283
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:40,680
I just like helping people.
You know?
284
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:44,680
Try and make a difference and all
that. You'd make a good copper.
285
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:46,080
Hm! Are you joking?
286
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:47,800
No. Why not?
287
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:49,200
You're a good person.
288
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:54,160
Honest, law-abiding,
unless you're playing crazy golf.
289
00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:58,000
That's all that matters, isn't it?
Integrity.
Yeah.
290
00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:02,920
Oh, who puts a windmill
on a sodding golf course?
291
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:08,720
Oh, for...
292
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:09,880
SHE LAUGHS
293
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:13,680
Yeah, well, the best thing about me,
babes, is I don't get bothered.
294
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:16,360
I'm actually really glad you won.
Really, really happy for you.
295
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:17,720
Enjoy it, yeah?
296
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,200
Can't believe you're
taking this off me.
Thanking you.
297
00:14:22,240 --> 00:14:24,720
All right. Arrogant.
298
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,560
Next time I'm gonna bring my own
clubs anyway so then we'll see.
299
00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,640
Donna?
300
00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:39,120
Donna, come on, let me in.
Is this about the Emily thing?
301
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:40,920
Are you joking?
302
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,400
Well, I'm not a mind-reader.
303
00:14:42,440 --> 00:14:44,400
You haven't changed one bit, Les.
304
00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:47,240
You're still the same self-centred
arse you always were.
305
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:48,320
What are you on about?
306
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,800
You want to blow that money
on another arcade.
307
00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,600
I never wanted the first one.
308
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:55,760
It's taken me years to get
the smell of 2ps off my fingers.
309
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:57,360
It'll be different this time.
310
00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,000
Ooh!
311
00:15:04,360 --> 00:15:07,520
I'm letting you in on the
ground floor here, Donna. Trust me.
312
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:08,680
Trust you?
313
00:15:08,720 --> 00:15:11,400
You were happy to let me think that
you were at the bottom of the sea
314
00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,280
sat on a frickin' pedalo.
315
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:15,360
I can't believe you nearly had me
this morning.
316
00:15:15,400 --> 00:15:17,840
All that rubbish about
swaying palm trees.
317
00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:20,400
You like palm trees!
That's not the point.
318
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,160
You sank our life savings
into that money-pit.
319
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,280
Put my entire career on hold.
320
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,080
That arcade put a roof
over your head.
321
00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:28,480
A cage, more like.
322
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:30,680
That dump
stole the best years of my life.
323
00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:33,760
Well, I'm sorry me and Emily
were such a burden.
324
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:36,440
Don't you dare
bring her name into this.
325
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,320
Donna!
DOORBELL
326
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,640
Donna, do not answer that door.
327
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,320
DOORBELL
328
00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:49,680
Donna!
329
00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:53,480
Oh, my God, it is you.
I said it was you, didn't I, Derek?
330
00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,080
Derek, did I not say? It's you.
331
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,400
Jeannie, Jeannie, Jeannie.
Oh, it's OK.
332
00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,600
Do you want to touch my hair,
darling?
333
00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:01,200
Yes, please.
334
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:06,400
Derek Swallows -
Swallows by the Sea B&B.
335
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:08,240
Please don't make fun of my name.
336
00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:11,680
Thought we'd pop over
and say a proper hello.
337
00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:13,040
Hello.
338
00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:14,360
'Allo 'allo 'allo!
339
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,840
THEY LAUGH
340
00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:20,640
Oh, sorry about before.
Peering over your fence like that.
341
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,480
We're not perverts.
342
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,120
Oh, perv away, darling.
343
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:26,360
Oh!
Oh!
THEY LAUGH
344
00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:27,400
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
345
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:29,640
We were actually looking for
a lawnmower.
346
00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:31,960
Les borrowed/stole it from me.
347
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,760
Yeah. Sounds like Les.
Mm.
348
00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:37,080
We're really big fans, by the way.
Indeed.
349
00:16:37,120 --> 00:16:41,000
Not often we get
a minor celebrity in Sandylands.
350
00:16:41,040 --> 00:16:42,600
A frickin' what-what?
351
00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:44,720
We saw you perform
a few years back.
352
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:48,240
Oh, it was a smashing cruise.
World-class amenities.
353
00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:49,600
What was it we called it, Derek?
354
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,400
The John Lewis of the sea!
355
00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:53,360
THEY LAUGH
356
00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:55,160
Shame everyone got a bit poorly.
357
00:16:55,200 --> 00:16:57,240
Oh, dear. Both ends.
358
00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:58,720
Is that for me?
359
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:00,160
Just a few essentials.
360
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:03,880
Baked Alaska, bottle of Domestos,
Canesten.
361
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,880
Oh, no, it's very heavy. Let me.
362
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,840
MUSIC: I Could Be Happy
by Altered Images
363
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:31,680
Excuse me?
364
00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,280
Erm, three soft-scoops, please,
with everything.
365
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,440
Notice anything different?
366
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:42,320
Er, no?
367
00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:45,680
It's the glasses, mate.
It's the massive glasses.
368
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:49,360
God, don't worry,
I got you a little something too.
369
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:51,920
THEY LAUGH
370
00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:57,400
Classic! Hey, maybe you'll get
a little snog from lover-boy, huh?
371
00:17:57,440 --> 00:18:00,240
Saw you helping him out
with his schwing!
372
00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,080
You dirty little flirt.
373
00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:04,520
Oh, God, Tina. What if Dad's right?
374
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,080
No, no,
you're not allowed to do that.
375
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,840
He's a policeman.
Barely!
376
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,080
Technically, I'm a criminal.
377
00:18:10,120 --> 00:18:12,640
No, no. No more thinking, all right?
378
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:15,520
I'm banning it.
It's too much of this.
379
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:19,920
He's a great guy, babes.
380
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:23,720
He's honest, decent. What,
and suddenly that's a bad thing?
381
00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:26,600
Blokes like that don't come around
very often. Trust me.
382
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,680
You deserve to be happy.
383
00:18:32,760 --> 00:18:35,800
Ooh. Erm, I did say sauce?
384
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,280
You what?
385
00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:40,640
I paid for sauce?
386
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:42,400
Oh, I do apologise.
387
00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,920
And would His Majesty
like sprinkles?
388
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:57,640
OK.
389
00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,160
I mean, what are you meant to be -
celibate all your life?
390
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,640
I know.
391
00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,360
Blooming carpet diem, mate.
392
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,680
Ooh, red alert.
Here come the fuzz.
393
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,200
SHE LAUGHS
State of you!
394
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:12,480
I'm glad you're finding it funny.
395
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:13,560
Nice hat.
396
00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:16,160
Aw, here, you deserve it.
397
00:19:19,320 --> 00:19:21,240
I wanted a flake.
398
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:25,960
Thank you.
399
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:30,040
What?
Right here!
Sorry!
400
00:19:33,320 --> 00:19:36,000
I make them myself.
401
00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:37,680
It's very pungent.
402
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:39,480
Beef and onion.
Hm.
403
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,280
Light that
and tell me you're not hungry.
404
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:47,080
Derek's appetite's
still not what it was.
405
00:19:47,120 --> 00:19:49,720
We had a bit of a bad review
at the B&B.
406
00:19:49,760 --> 00:19:52,480
Oh, you don't have to tell me
about bad reviews, darling.
407
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:53,760
String 'em up, I say.
408
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,240
Yes. And then kidnap his wife.
409
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,000
We're thinking of doing a bit of
a relaunch, aren't we, Derek?
410
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,560
Mm, my idea. Total revamp.
411
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:04,160
Maybe have a bit of a do.
412
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,640
Mm. Again, my idea.
413
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:08,160
Oh, my goodness.
414
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,960
I've just had a thought.
415
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,400
You could come and sing.
416
00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:14,160
Absolutely. My idea.
417
00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,320
Let me check my diary.
418
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:20,080
KEYS JANGLE
419
00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,200
Er, excuse me a minute.
420
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:38,440
MUSIC: Rip It Up
by Orange Juice
421
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,360
You little...
Donna, you're being unreasonable.
422
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:44,680
Get out.
What you doin'?
423
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:46,160
Out, out, out.
424
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:47,360
It's my money.
425
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:49,080
Get out!
426
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:58,040
Jeannie, no.
427
00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,080
You've already had us banned
from M&S.
428
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,960
YELLING
429
00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,160
Everything OK in there?
430
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:13,680
Yes, everything's fine.
Just putting the rubbish out.
431
00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:15,880
Why don't you come through
and look for that mower?
432
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:17,640
Donna!
433
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,080
MUSIC: Here I Go Again
by Whitesnake
434
00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:22,800
# Here I go again on my own
435
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:26,520
# Goin' down the only road
I've ever known...
436
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:28,600
WAYNE: Round and round we go.
437
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:32,880
Nice to see a lot of families
out today. Happy, smiling faces...
438
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:34,240
Enjoy it while it lasts.
439
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:36,040
Ding-ding-ding-ding-doo!
440
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:37,640
SIREN CHIRPS
441
00:21:39,680 --> 00:21:43,600
# I ain't wasting no more time. #
442
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:47,200
Honestly, she is proper amazing.
She's done 'em all.
443
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,000
I can see.
444
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:52,280
Welcome, my child.
445
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:56,520
First, you must
cross my palm with silver
446
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,160
or the crystal ball
does contactless.
447
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,640
Oh, right.
448
00:22:02,680 --> 00:22:04,440
Very modern.
449
00:22:05,880 --> 00:22:08,680
Alexa, dim lights.
450
00:22:10,440 --> 00:22:12,440
Can I take your hand, darling?
451
00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,560
Sorry. Not done this before.
452
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:16,240
I know.
453
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,720
Ooh, look at that lifeline.
454
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:22,200
It's not good, is it?
455
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:24,600
Keep taking them vitamins.
456
00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:32,400
I'm sensing you're at a crossroads?
457
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,480
There's an important decision
you need to make.
458
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:39,160
Right.
459
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:43,560
Oh! And I see
there's a new man in your life?
460
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,760
Er, well...
But wait.
461
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,000
What?
462
00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:51,400
You must take the right path or...
463
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:54,000
Or what?
464
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:57,840
I see danger. Great danger!
465
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:01,280
Turn back. You must turn back!
466
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:04,880
Oh. How did you get on?
467
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,680
Yeah, fine, fine. Bit weird.
468
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,280
Do you mind if I go next?
469
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,000
Oh, yeah, I'm not that bothered.
470
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:12,280
Tell you what,
471
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:15,600
why don't you two just go on ahead
without me?
472
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:19,400
You know, I'm gonna be here a while.
I've got very big hands.
473
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:28,760
I sense you're at a crossroads.
474
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,520
Ooh, I see there's a new man
in your life.
475
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:34,480
Is there?
476
00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:39,520
But wait, I see danger.
Great danger.
477
00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:44,080
SHE SCREAMS
478
00:23:47,520 --> 00:23:52,560
Thank you so much, Mrs Vegas.
We really appreciate it.
479
00:23:56,920 --> 00:23:58,600
The shed.
480
00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:00,680
It won't be in there.
481
00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:04,240
Daddy's coming.
482
00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,280
Oh. I'm sorry about that.
483
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:15,880
Maybe there's a trap door
or something?
484
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,040
Come on, Derek,
let's get you home.
485
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:19,440
We'll see ourselves out.
486
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:22,560
Oh, it's so lovely to meet you,
Mrs Vegas.
487
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,280
Aw.
488
00:24:30,360 --> 00:24:32,320
Look at you, Les.
489
00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:35,040
You pathetic, petty little man.
490
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:37,600
You haven't even got a lawn,
it's bloody Astroturf.
491
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:40,000
He was on it every two minutes.
Bloody racket.
492
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:43,640
So? So what?
Maybe that's what makes him happy.
493
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,840
It's always about you,
isn't it, Les? What you want.
494
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:49,560
Well, I hope you
and that mower enjoy Peru.
495
00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:55,600
# Every breath you take
496
00:24:55,640 --> 00:24:56,960
# And every move you make... #
497
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:58,880
I've really enjoyed today.
498
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:00,680
Nice to finally hang out.
499
00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:02,880
You know,
without one of us running off.
500
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:06,680
Look, I know this is a bit random.
501
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:11,520
You're probably going back to London
soon - not too soon, I hope.
502
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:15,320
But, erm, I'd love keep in touch.
503
00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:17,200
Maybe I could come up and see you?
504
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:20,840
Nathan, I do really like you.
505
00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:23,160
Ooh. That's a good start.
But...
506
00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:27,160
Oh, God, I hate "but".
Who invented that word?
507
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:29,000
I just don't think
this is gonna work.
508
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:30,800
Why not?
509
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:33,240
Sorry.
510
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:35,960
I've got a lot of stuff going on.
511
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:37,880
Course. I know it's been a bit mad,
512
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:39,960
what with your dad and everything,
513
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:43,160
but you know you can always
talk to me?
514
00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:45,840
That's the problem. I can't.
515
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:48,880
Next in, please.
516
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:55,000
Emily?
517
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:57,000
You two together?
518
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:59,200
No.
519
00:25:59,240 --> 00:26:02,080
Emily? Wait!
520
00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:05,560
Women, eh?
521
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,040
MUSIC: Love Don't Wait
by Stephen Collins
522
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:19,920
Emily?
523
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:22,000
I'm sorry, mate.
524
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,000
Come here, babes, eh?
525
00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,680
SHE SOBS
526
00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:28,920
Oh, darling.
527
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:31,720
You blow. That's it.
528
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:34,400
SHE SNIFFS AND SOBS
529
00:26:44,760 --> 00:26:47,040
Can I help you?
530
00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,800
I'm sorry, love. About everything.
531
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:51,840
Right. I've heard it all before,
Les.
532
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:53,640
No.
533
00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:58,840
I've been sat out with that mower
realising how selfish I've been.
534
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,040
What it's been like for you.
535
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,280
Forget about the arcade.
536
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:05,840
All I really wanted was you and me,
537
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:07,560
together - in paradise...
538
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:11,160
..matching thongs?
539
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,880
There's two of us in this, Les.
Always has been.
540
00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:17,440
You're absolutely right,
and it's gonna be different.
541
00:27:18,480 --> 00:27:20,120
I can prove it, Donna.
542
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:23,480
Just might need your help a sec.
543
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:26,400
DOORBELL
544
00:27:31,960 --> 00:27:34,440
Derek? Derek!
545
00:27:36,360 --> 00:27:39,240
THEY GASP
546
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:52,920
HE SOBS SOFTLY
547
00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,480
SIREN CHIRPS
548
00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:06,400
Gonna have to shut it up soon, mate.
549
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:12,840
All right, one more go.
Ding-ding-ding-ding-doo!
550
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:14,520
SIREN CHIRPS
551
00:28:16,360 --> 00:28:18,400
Scream if you wanna go faster.
552
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:21,400
Or if your life's
a bottomless pit of despair.
553
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:22,640
Here we go.
554
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:26,440
# Shot through the heart
And you're to blame
555
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:30,160
# You give love a bad name
Bad name
556
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:34,120
# I play my part
and you play your game
557
00:28:34,160 --> 00:28:38,520
# You give love a bad name
Bad name
558
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:43,880
# Hey, you give love a bad name
559
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:54,880
# Paint your smile on your lips
560
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:58,680
# Blood red nails on your fingertips
561
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:02,760
# A school boy's dream
You act so shy
562
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:06,840
# Your very first kiss
was your first kiss goodbye... #
563
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:08,240
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