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1
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:42,680
Personally, and it's been a few
weeks since I've been, mind,
2
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:44,640
but I'd recommend the Sand Museum
3
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,080
or maybe Seaweed World?
4
00:00:47,120 --> 00:00:48,760
You got time for both?
5
00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:49,960
Here he is.
6
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,160
I've put your undies on a boil
wash.
7
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:56,080
But, more importantly, did we have a
lovely, little sleep?
8
00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,120
A delightful respite, thank you.
9
00:00:58,160 --> 00:00:59,480
Yay.
10
00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:01,600
Didn't hear a grown man crying at
all?
11
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:03,640
Should I have?
12
00:01:03,680 --> 00:01:06,080
No, no...
13
00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:07,960
Here's your coffee.
14
00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:11,400
Erm, maybe I could freshen your
egg?
15
00:01:11,440 --> 00:01:13,920
Oh, can we offer you a cup of
Jeannie's juice?
16
00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:16,040
Oh, yes, I squeeze it myself.
17
00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:18,640
It's not to everyone's taste,
but I can't get enough.
18
00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:20,480
I'll go grab one of my jugs.
19
00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,120
I'll help squeeze. Here you are.
20
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,960
Ow!
SMOKE ALARM BEEPS
21
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,160
Why don't you take an advert
out in the paper
22
00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:46,720
and tell everyone you're here?
You could've taken my ear out.
23
00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:48,600
Why aren't you in the loft, Dad?
24
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,120
All right.
25
00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:51,920
It's horrible.
26
00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:55,120
There's also a massive spider up
there with a chip on his shoulder.
27
00:01:56,320 --> 00:01:58,560
Thought I'd cook you a hero's
breakfast, you know,
28
00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:00,240
say thanks for, erm... Getting shot?
29
00:02:00,280 --> 00:02:01,840
Tasered.
30
00:02:01,880 --> 00:02:03,360
Defrosted a couple of sausages.
31
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,280
I'm a vegan, Dad. Oh.
32
00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:06,520
Gotta have some bacon.
33
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:07,840
Go on, then.
34
00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:09,440
Ey!
35
00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:11,840
Hey...girl.
36
00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:15,320
Oh, God, no.
37
00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:21,920
Hm, just as I thought.
38
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:23,120
Paint.
39
00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:24,480
Shouldn't have eaten that.
40
00:02:26,920 --> 00:02:29,640
God, would you just send that
bloody text and get over here?
41
00:02:29,680 --> 00:02:31,040
You're wasting police time.
42
00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:34,760
Oh, Sandy Glands.
43
00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,840
That's pretty good.
Don't laugh at it.
44
00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:39,920
That's the third one this week.
45
00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,480
Here, write this down.
46
00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:45,080
Size nine flip-flop. Single print.
47
00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:48,080
So, would that be the flip or the
flop?
48
00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:50,040
Here, jackpot.
49
00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:51,800
Might have some DNA here.
50
00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:56,960
Oh, God!
51
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,800
What the hell are you doing?
52
00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:00,640
You've contaminated the evidence.
You...
53
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,960
Oh, don't worry. There's loads of
them back here.
54
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:06,480
That's a full one.
55
00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,120
All right, darling. Nearly there.
56
00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:11,720
Bet you thought I'd forgotten.
57
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,680
# Happy birthday to you
58
00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,320
# Happy birthday to you
59
00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:18,520
# Happy birthday dear Emily
60
00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:21,840
# Happy birthday to you. #
61
00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:33,720
Bon appetit.
62
00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:35,760
Your favourite.
63
00:03:35,800 --> 00:03:37,240
I'm not eight years old.
64
00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:38,920
Who put sand in your drawers?
65
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,040
Don't, I barely slept worrying
about all this.
66
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:43,800
You need a proper plan.
This is serious.
67
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,600
Hey, hey. It's all in hand.
68
00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:46,800
Really?
69
00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:51,840
Voila.
70
00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:52,960
Peru.
71
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,160
Picture the scene.
72
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:55,760
Sun is shining.
73
00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,400
There's a little guy playing
Spanish guitar.
74
00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:02,320
Couple of llamas just
knocking about.
75
00:04:02,360 --> 00:04:03,840
Wander down at the beach,
76
00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:06,960
beautiful white sand, no dog mess.
77
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,600
And there,
78
00:04:08,640 --> 00:04:13,280
the twinkling lights of our new
arcade.
79
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,840
Emily World,
80
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,840
named after...hm...
81
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:18,280
..you.
82
00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:22,480
So you've got a fake passport
sorted then?
83
00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:23,640
Visa?
84
00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:25,280
What about the insurance company?
85
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,800
Are they gonna wave you off at the
airport with the cash and a bottle
of sun cream?
86
00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:30,880
God, Dad, did you actually plan any
of this?
87
00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:32,520
Yes, of course. Go on, then.
88
00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:33,840
All right.
89
00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:36,560
Step one - fake death.
90
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,480
Yep, mm-hm, good. Tick that off.
91
00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,480
Step two.
Oh. So there is a step two?
92
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:42,080
Obviously. Step two...
93
00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:46,600
..get the money.
94
00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:50,960
Oh, that is a bloody master plan,
that is. Bravo, Napoleon.
95
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,840
All right, you're a black cloud,
you are.
96
00:04:52,880 --> 00:04:54,560
This could take ages, Dad.
97
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:56,320
Months of filling in forms,
98
00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:58,520
hiding, lying to the police,
to everyone.
99
00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:00,960
I can't be here looking after you.
100
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,200
I've got to go home.
101
00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:04,120
Hey. Hey, one day at a time.
102
00:05:04,160 --> 00:05:06,360
Relax. Oh, you're not listening,
Dad.
103
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:07,560
I am.
104
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,360
I hear you.
105
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:10,480
I do.
106
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:13,080
How about Thailand, eh?
107
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:14,680
Picture the scene.
108
00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,240
The sun is shining...
109
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:17,480
Bub, where're you going?
110
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:18,520
Do not slam that...
111
00:05:18,560 --> 00:05:19,800
..door.
DOOR SLAMS
112
00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:41,480
SEAGULLS SQUAWK
113
00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:42,920
It's good luck, that.
114
00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:45,520
You need a cab?
115
00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:46,760
No?
116
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:51,120
I was... Bit of a mad one for
me last night.
117
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,600
What're you here for?
Holiday, is it?
118
00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:58,160
Make sure you do the Sand Museum,
119
00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,240
or Seaweed World.
120
00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:02,120
I mean, both if you've got the
time.
121
00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:07,120
Oh, insurance investigator, eh?
122
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:09,360
Uh-oh, someone's in for it.
123
00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:13,240
Oh, no. Is it Les?
124
00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:14,520
Of course, that makes sense.
125
00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:17,120
Freak accident, no body found,
126
00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:20,640
it's all very mysterious.
127
00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:24,600
Of course, old Bob here knows
exactly what happened to him.
128
00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:31,920
He was buggered by dolphins.
129
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:34,800
HE IMITATES A DOLPHIN
130
00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:41,080
Right up the blow hole!
131
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,400
No, no, that one's knackered.
132
00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:07,280
Not been working since...
Les Vegas?
133
00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:08,720
That's it.
134
00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,000
Friend of his, are you?
135
00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,000
Bloody tragedy, that.
136
00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:14,840
He was out all night,
137
00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:16,960
but he only paid for an hour.
138
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:19,800
Still, I've moved on.
139
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:31,040
RADIO: We've had more reports of
graffiti, over.
140
00:07:31,080 --> 00:07:32,080
Received.
141
00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:35,400
Whiskey, Sierra...
142
00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:36,920
..bye-bye.
143
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:38,960
Little bastard.
144
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,640
Did she seem off to you, though?
145
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:42,600
Who? Emily.
146
00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:45,560
Are you still banging on about
that? It were her dad's funeral.
147
00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:48,160
And you shot her.
Yeah, I did. I did.
148
00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:49,640
I'll tell you what I'd do.
149
00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:51,080
When you've finished your shift,
150
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:53,000
go over to her house.
151
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,600
Knock on the door... Yeah.
152
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:56,840
..and arrest her.
153
00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:00,080
And then she'll have to spend some
time with you.
154
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:02,520
We could do a bit of the old good
cop, bad cop.
155
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:04,000
How's that going to work?
156
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:06,920
Well, you make kissy faces while I
break one of her fingers.
157
00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:09,360
You are very violent, Trude.
158
00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:11,000
Oh, grow up, Goldilocks.
159
00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:12,720
It's a big, bad world out there.
160
00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:16,760
Hey!
161
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,080
I mean, that's just getting
personal now.
162
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:35,400
LES SCRAPES YOGHURT POT
163
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:36,680
Can you stop it?
164
00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,800
No.
165
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:45,400
What? Where does that go?
166
00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:46,520
Bin.
167
00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:49,080
Do you not recycle, Dad?
It's so important.
168
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:51,880
Jeez, I can't even put rubbish in a
bin any more.
169
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:54,520
Remember this?
170
00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:58,160
Dad, please.
I'm trying to concentrate.
171
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,040
DOORBELL RINGS
172
00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,560
Who's that?
How the hell should I know.
173
00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:06,120
Mate.
174
00:09:06,160 --> 00:09:07,360
It's Tina.
175
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:08,760
What's she doing back here now?
176
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,760
Emily! Emily!
177
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,680
Emily, it's an emergency.
178
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,520
DOORBELL RINGS
179
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:23,400
Out the way, babe. I've drank a
gallon of SlimFast.
180
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,280
I'm gonna wet myself, or worse.
181
00:09:25,320 --> 00:09:27,240
Tina, Tina!
182
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:32,000
Tina!
183
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:36,960
Are you OK in there?
184
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,920
Ah, yeah, soz, babes.
185
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:43,560
I usually keep an empty bottle on
the bus, you know, for emergencies.
186
00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:45,760
I've finished for the day now.
187
00:09:45,800 --> 00:09:47,520
We could...hang out,
188
00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:50,120
get something pierced
189
00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:52,960
Er, I've got a bit of stuff to sort
out, really.
190
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,120
SQUEAK
191
00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,200
All right, Les.
192
00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:00,440
All right, Tina.
193
00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:04,400
Ah! Shh, shh.
194
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:06,240
Ah! Ah!
195
00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,360
Tina? Ah!
196
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:11,000
Tina?
MUFFLED SCREAMS
197
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:14,160
Calm, calm, calm...
198
00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:40,000
C-c-c-customer in the house.
199
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,760
What can I get you, blud?
200
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,160
Tens or twos?
201
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:44,520
Tens, innit?
202
00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:46,280
Man's a high roller.
203
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,640
Whoa.
204
00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:52,800
Is this about the fire in the
office?
205
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:55,360
I knew there'd be a fat claim.
206
00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:56,840
Wait, how much are we talking?
207
00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:59,920
Cos that bin's a total write0off.
Is Emily going to be rich?
208
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:03,200
This is Emily...Verma?
209
00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:06,800
You're in luck,
she's staying at her dad's.
210
00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:08,560
Oh, yes?
211
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,760
I can give her a bell, if you like.
212
00:11:10,800 --> 00:11:12,480
I would like that very much.
213
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:18,480
EMILY: Honestly, everything's fine.
214
00:11:18,520 --> 00:11:19,840
But you do look like death,
215
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:20,960
doesn't she, Derek?
216
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,200
You haven't come across that
lawnmower, have you?
217
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,200
Military green, about yea high.
218
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:28,920
Derek, she's been through a
terrible time.
219
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,080
Listen, if you ever want to talk
about anything,
220
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:32,840
we're just next door.
Anything at all.
221
00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:36,320
Depression, anxiety, women's
issues... I'm fine, thanks.
222
00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:38,160
I'm very clued up, vaginally.
223
00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:49,200
Deep breaths.
224
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:51,920
Smell the coconut.
225
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,520
Very calming.
226
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,800
But why would you do it?
227
00:11:56,840 --> 00:11:59,880
It's just a little insurance thing -
no harm.
228
00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:01,640
I can't believe you never told me.
229
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:04,720
Oh, that's tough. Oh, shut up, Dad.
I only found out myself yesterday.
230
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,920
Can someone undo my bra a notch?
Cos I'm struggling to breathe
here.
231
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:11,920
Now, Tina, I need you to promise
you won't tell anyone about this.
232
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:14,280
Oh, no, no, no, nah,
I won't tell hardly anyone.
233
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:16,920
No-one, Tina. Are you listening?
Yeah.
234
00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:18,240
SENT MESSAGE SWOOSH
235
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:21,280
Why have you just texted,
"You'll never guess what"?
236
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:24,120
It's about something else.
It's in a group called "Les Chat".
237
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,680
All right, all right.
238
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:27,920
You secret's safe.
239
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:29,120
Pinky promise.
240
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,840
And that is unbreakable by law,
that is.
241
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:34,480
So you could actually sue me,
242
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,880
but don't because I am already
skint.
243
00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:39,720
PHONE RINGS
244
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,080
It's the arcade.
245
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:46,280
Kenny, you OK?
246
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,280
Hello, Miss Verma.
247
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:51,200
I represent Willets & Willets
life insurance.
248
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:54,040
I trust we're having a wonderful
day.
249
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:57,160
Right, so what you've got is a dry
T-zone. Oh.
250
00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:59,880
You all right? It's the shitting
insurance company.
251
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:03,040
Oh, well, that's good. We knew they
were going to call. Did we?
252
00:13:03,080 --> 00:13:05,600
Ask them if they'll do cash.
My God, this is it.
253
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,280
He's at the arcade. Shit, what am I
going to say?
254
00:13:08,320 --> 00:13:09,360
Act normal.
255
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:10,560
What do you mean, normal?
256
00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,440
Well, first off, say something.
257
00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:16,400
Hello?
258
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,200
Er, hiya!
259
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:19,720
Sorry, I was just...
260
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,000
..on the loo.
261
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:26,600
All done now.
262
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:32,800
Miss Verma, I'm in town regarding
your recent insurance claim.
263
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:36,360
I told him about the bin, Emily.
Gonna be a fat pay out.
264
00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:37,680
Sorry, mate.
265
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,520
I have a few routine questions.
266
00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:43,160
Just dot the Is, cross those Ts.
267
00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,440
Won't take much of your time.
268
00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:48,320
Perhaps I could come by the house.
He wants to come here.
269
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,720
WHISPERS: No! No, no.
270
00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:50,800
Er, no, no.
271
00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:53,840
How about the cafe by the pier?
272
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,040
Say, four?
273
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,840
Excellent, you have made my day.
274
00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,280
Until then.
275
00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:20,200
Anything?
276
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:24,040
All looks... Oh, God.
277
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:27,920
He's sprayed a cock on the side of
the pier. No.
278
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,280
How large are we talking?
279
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:33,360
It's...a big'un!
280
00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:56,600
Got your favourite, Emily, love.
281
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,960
Sorry to hear about Donna, Les.
282
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,280
Plenty more fish in the sea though,
eh?
283
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:23,160
You shouldn't even be down here.
Emily'll kill me.
284
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:24,880
Come on, it's time to celebrate.
285
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,360
Money's coming in,
286
00:15:26,400 --> 00:15:29,040
everything is falling into place.
287
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:31,440
Yeah, well, let's hope you don't
get caught though, Les.
288
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,600
Don't put a downer on it all.
We won't.
289
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:36,560
Now, Madame, shall I sort your rim?
290
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,400
Well, you'll have to buy me dinner
first.
291
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:55,080
Oh.
292
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:57,120
Miss Verma, I assume.
293
00:15:58,280 --> 00:15:59,520
My card.
294
00:16:01,200 --> 00:16:04,720
I took the liberty of ordering us
both some tea.
295
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:07,080
Tea, great. Love tea.
296
00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:09,000
So many teas, aren't there,
these days?
297
00:16:09,040 --> 00:16:10,560
Peppermint, lemon and ginger...
298
00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:13,880
..rooibos.
299
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:15,160
Shall I be mother?
300
00:16:22,720 --> 00:16:23,800
Milk?
301
00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:39,000
I appreciate how much of a shock
this must be for you.
302
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,400
Your eye? Doesn't bother me.
303
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:44,480
Oh, you mean Dad.
Sorry, bit nervous.
304
00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:45,960
I've not done this before.
305
00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:48,880
Please don't be.
306
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,960
People get a little jumpy when they
see the word "investigator".
307
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,120
Rest assured,
308
00:16:55,160 --> 00:16:57,960
I won't be peeping at you from
behind the bushes
309
00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,600
with a pair of binoculars.
310
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:04,560
Or a telescope.
311
00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:08,440
Sorry, that's not like me.
312
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:09,720
Sorry.
313
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:16,520
Well, just a few standard questions
314
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:18,760
and I'll be on my merry, little
way.
315
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:22,520
Oh, good. I mean, take your time.
316
00:17:24,840 --> 00:17:26,760
Right.
317
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:28,040
Question one.
318
00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:33,880
# Take on me
319
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:35,640
# Take on me
320
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:39,480
# Take me on
321
00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,160
# Take on me
322
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:45,560
# I'll be gone
323
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:52,640
BOTH: # In a day or two... #
324
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:54,240
DOORBELL RINGS
325
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:55,480
I'll get it.
326
00:17:55,520 --> 00:17:56,840
No, no, no, Les.
327
00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,640
I'll get it.
328
00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:00,120
Oh, yeah.
329
00:18:00,160 --> 00:18:01,680
TINA LAUGHS
330
00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:07,520
Hello, hello, hello.
331
00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:10,160
Is this some sort of a bust?
Why, yes, it is.
332
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:13,240
Ooh, somebody smells nice.
333
00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:15,000
Oh, erm, just a bit of Jazz.
334
00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:17,520
Erm, is the lady of the house
present?
335
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:19,200
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
336
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:20,400
She went out, yeah.
337
00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,480
I'm just, er...
338
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,560
..yeah, I'm just, erm...
339
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:26,520
..I'm plant sitting, actually.
340
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:30,800
Say hello to Kanye.
341
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:33,680
Right, erm, hello...Kanye.
342
00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:35,320
Erm, has she gone into town?
343
00:18:35,360 --> 00:18:38,480
Back off, Columbo, I ain't saying
nothing. I pinky promised.
344
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:42,840
But if you leg it down to the
seafront,
345
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:44,680
you might find her.
346
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:48,600
Mm-hm.
347
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,520
Go get her, lover boy.
348
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:56,640
Right, cheers.
349
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,440
A yes or no will be fine.
350
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:04,960
I forgot the question.
351
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,400
Are you Emily Verma?
352
00:19:10,320 --> 00:19:11,560
All clear.
353
00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:17,520
Are you getting pervert vibes off
this guy?
354
00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:19,240
Who? Nathan?
355
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:20,720
He's all right.
356
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:24,880
Oh...
357
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:28,480
Miss going for a stroll down the
beach about now.
358
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,200
I do miss it.
359
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:31,960
Sand between my toes,
360
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,240
bit of sea air.
361
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,040
Come on, Tina, let's nip out.
362
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:39,800
There's hardly going to be anyone
down there at this time.
363
00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:41,200
Give over, Les.
364
00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,800
We're not leaving this house -
Emily said.
365
00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:45,880
IMITATES: Emily said, Emily said.
366
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:48,320
All right, all right. No, fair,
forget it.
367
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,160
We are out of booze though.
368
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,080
So, that's that.
369
00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:58,840
Not too probing, I hope.
370
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,040
What? No.
371
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:01,440
Not at all.
372
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:03,560
Now for the boring bit.
373
00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,920
A little legal jargon.
374
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:08,080
Should your claim be found
to be fraudulent
375
00:20:08,120 --> 00:20:11,000
or if you enter into said claim
knowing fraud has been committed,
376
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:14,320
you could face up to ten years
in prison.
377
00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:16,080
Okey dokey?
378
00:20:16,120 --> 00:20:17,480
Okey dokey.
379
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:22,640
So, if you would just sign here,
380
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:26,320
here, here and here
381
00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:28,520
and here and here,
382
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,480
and initial here,
383
00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:32,560
here and here.
384
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:33,760
Pen?
385
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:38,080
There's nothing to be concerned
about,
386
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:41,160
unless of course there's something
you're not telling me.
387
00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:46,520
I'm joking.
388
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:50,360
Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
389
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:51,800
That's gone everywhere.
390
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:53,040
It's fine.
391
00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:56,080
Oh, these are all ruined now.
392
00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:58,160
What a clumsy... Oh, dear.
393
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,960
Oh, is that the...? I've got to
meet a friend, sorry.
394
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,560
Er, let's do this again.
395
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:04,080
Er...asap.
396
00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:05,480
I...I'll call you.
397
00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:18,000
Emily!
398
00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:19,680
Oh, shit, sorry, hi!
399
00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:22,120
Ah, fancy seeing you here.
400
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:25,760
I'm just out for one of my big, old
runs.
401
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:28,360
Oh, PB. Nice.
402
00:21:28,400 --> 00:21:30,440
What are you up to?
Oh, nothing much.
403
00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:32,000
Cool, cool.
404
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:35,200
I was thinking about
having a quickie. Erm, a pint.
405
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,480
Fancy it? No Tasers this time.
406
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:40,080
Yeah, I could do with a drink.
407
00:21:40,120 --> 00:21:41,440
Oh, off we go then.
408
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:42,920
Well, I wouldn't recognise you.
409
00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:45,480
Yeah, I'd lose the ski goggles
though.
410
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:50,600
You reckon?
Oh, I'm not sure about this, Les.
411
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,200
Come on, it's only an hour.
412
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:54,160
All right, half an hour tops.
413
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:57,440
Right, I'll leave Emily a note.
No need. Already taken care of it.
414
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,360
Here you go.
415
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:06,760
Double whiskey then.
416
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:09,720
Oh, someone's thirsty.
417
00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:13,120
No, help yourself.
418
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:14,800
I only really wanted a half.
419
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:17,680
EMILY EXHALES
420
00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,720
You OK?
421
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:22,960
Is it your dad? What?
422
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:26,200
You know, the memorial and
everything.
423
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:27,440
No, no, I'm fine.
424
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:33,000
Sorry again about Trude and
the...buzzz.
425
00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:34,840
She's lovely, but she's...
426
00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,280
..very trigger happy.
427
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:41,120
Is everything all right with
your...?
428
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,640
I mean, it all looks great from
here.
429
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:44,960
Lovely bosom.
430
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,880
Oh, there that goes.
431
00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:54,800
I'll get us another.
432
00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:56,680
Sorry!
433
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:02,640
Gotta go, I'll call you.
434
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,200
Stop, please!
435
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,560
Cheers.
436
00:23:19,760 --> 00:23:22,000
So where is Peru then?
437
00:23:23,120 --> 00:23:25,600
It's sort of...over there.
438
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:28,440
You should come out and visit.
439
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:29,600
Free holibobs?
440
00:23:29,640 --> 00:23:31,000
Damn right.
441
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:33,880
I'll tell you what, Lessie, babes,
442
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:37,720
you...are...a...bloody nutter,
mate!
443
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,200
Like something out of a freaking
movie.
444
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:43,920
You reckon? Yeah.
445
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,080
Wealthy daughter comes home after
dad dies.
446
00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:49,280
Meets this super spunky, hot,
psychic, you know,
447
00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:50,600
world-class bants,
448
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,120
and then, plot twist,
449
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:54,280
her dad only turns up alive.
450
00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:55,800
A busy few weeks, eh?
451
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:57,880
Yeah. Mm.
I can picture the ending now.
452
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,320
So you and Emily are in one of those
old convertibles,
453
00:24:00,360 --> 00:24:01,760
speeding through the desert.
454
00:24:01,800 --> 00:24:03,360
Helicopters, police cars,
455
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:05,560
they're all chasing after you.
What?
456
00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:07,760
Yeah, cos you've been on the run
for months.
457
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:09,440
And she's screaming at you, right?
458
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:12,560
Emily's like, "What are we going to
do, Dad?!
459
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:13,800
"What are we going to do?!"
460
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:16,320
You're looking over at your little
girl, you're like,
461
00:24:16,360 --> 00:24:18,200
"I'm so sorry, darling,
I'm so sorry.
462
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:21,800
"This is all my fault. I should
never have got you into any of
this."
463
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:24,800
But she's in way too deep now,
and there's nowhere else to go.
464
00:24:24,840 --> 00:24:26,400
And it's like, "Kaboom!"
465
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:28,680
Kaboom?
466
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:31,000
Yeah, cos you've driven off a
cliff.
467
00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:32,880
That's probably just the movie,
mind.
468
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:36,960
Definitely get Gwyneth Paltrow to
play me.
469
00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,600
Bottom half Beyonce.
470
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:41,880
What about you, Les, babes?
471
00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:45,280
Les?
472
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:46,560
Les.
473
00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:51,160
Stop! These are my best shoes!
474
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,160
Nathan?
475
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:54,640
It's him, Trude!
476
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:18,040
KNOCK ON THE DOOR
477
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:19,680
DOOR OPENS
478
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,520
Sorry, me again.
479
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,840
I've just come to turn up your
loo roll.
480
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:29,160
Dad.
481
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,480
Idiot.
482
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:38,920
So, how long will you be with us,
Mr...erm...?
483
00:25:40,760 --> 00:25:42,360
Indefinitely.
484
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:43,960
Oh.
485
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:48,280
Nice day for it.
486
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:55,360
Dad?
487
00:25:57,800 --> 00:25:59,400
Dad, what are you doing?
488
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:01,080
Emily! Dad, we need to leave, now.
489
00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:03,040
Darling, I've been thinking...
490
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:05,360
You should go...
491
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:08,000
..back home to London,
to all your urban pottery stuff.
492
00:26:08,040 --> 00:26:10,520
I should never have dragged you
into all of this.
493
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:12,840
Dad, please, just...
I'm gonna turn myself in.
494
00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:14,480
What? Have you gone mad?
495
00:26:14,520 --> 00:26:15,720
It won't be that bad.
496
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:17,440
Two, three years, tops.
497
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:20,160
Pretty boy like me might have his
ups and downs, mind.
498
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,480
I could try and make a shank.
Can we talk about this at home?
499
00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:25,400
No, darling. I've gotta put a stop
to this.
500
00:26:25,440 --> 00:26:27,800
Take some responsibility,
like you've always said.
501
00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:31,520
But... No, no, I need to be a
better dad - a proper dad -
502
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:34,600
before I end off driving us both
off a cliff and then kaboom.
503
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,240
What? Dad, come on.
504
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:40,720
That's enough now.
It's time for you to go home.
505
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:44,000
Dad... Emily, please.
506
00:26:44,040 --> 00:26:45,240
Go.
507
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:46,520
Just go!
508
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:56,240
Oh, what're you doing back?
509
00:26:57,320 --> 00:26:59,040
Sand Museum shut, was it?
510
00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:02,240
Bit rude.
511
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:16,280
Oh, ow!
512
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:18,160
Oh, he tripped over my head!
513
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:19,440
I've got him.
514
00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:20,880
I've got him!
515
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:24,400
Emily, what are you doing?
It's the man.
516
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:27,240
What man?
The man from the insurance company.
517
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:29,800
Emily. I am not losing you again,
Dad.
518
00:27:30,880 --> 00:27:32,320
Argh.
519
00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:48,440
You're nicked, mate. And for the
record, I do not have crabs...
520
00:27:48,480 --> 00:27:49,720
..any more.
521
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:52,760
Can't believe I got him.
Nice one, mate.
522
00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,440
And...I've lost him.
523
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:02,760
Next stop, Peru, eh?
524
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:04,880
What's wrong with this bloody thing?
525
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:06,120
Is it not working?
526
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:07,880
Have you not been pedalling?
527
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,880
Should've recycled that. Oh!
528
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:15,320
All right, all right, all right.
529
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:19,280
Argh, well, it's stuck, innit?
530
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:20,560
Well, I know that.
531
00:28:20,600 --> 00:28:22,920
Oh, please don't tell me we're
adrift in this thing.
532
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:25,320
Great. Brilliant.
533
00:28:25,360 --> 00:28:26,600
EMILY BREATHES HEAVILY
534
00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,240
Let the tide do the work.
535
00:28:29,600 --> 00:28:32,000
Ah, argh!
536
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:42,920
RAINFALL
537
00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:46,280
Hey, it's quite ironic, this,
when you think about it.
538
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:49,000
I'll drown you myself, Dad,
I swear to God.
539
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,080
I'm just saying,
it's quite amusing.
540
00:28:52,120 --> 00:28:54,480
MUSIC: La Mer
by Charles Trenet
541
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:55,720
Do you want a Polo?
542
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:57,640
No, I don't want a bloody Polo. No.
543
00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:00,000
No, no, you're right.
We should ration these.
544
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:05,000
Here, how hard do you think it is
to catch a seagull?
545
00:29:05,040 --> 00:29:06,680
Shut up. Shut up, shut up!
546
00:29:06,720 --> 00:29:09,760
I'm just trying to be practical.
You're not being practical.
547
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:24,560
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