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1
00:00:01,946 --> 00:00:04,948
- Good morning, loved ones!
- Nice outfit.
2
00:00:05,020 --> 00:00:07,673
Where's your giant,
foam-rubber Wolverine head?
3
00:00:08,318 --> 00:00:10,590
Don't be silly.
You can't get those anymore.
4
00:00:10,689 --> 00:00:12,862
Yes, I realize I am dressed up.
5
00:00:12,931 --> 00:00:16,163
But you see, to a Michigan fan,
football is a religion.
6
00:00:16,230 --> 00:00:19,845
And the Ohio State game,
well, that's our Easter.
7
00:00:19,913 --> 00:00:22,370
- So that reminds me...
- I like your clothes, Dad.
8
00:00:22,442 --> 00:00:24,616
- Thank you.
- "I like your clothes, Dad."
9
00:00:24,685 --> 00:00:27,502
Guys, please.
This is my one sacred day of the year.
10
00:00:27,567 --> 00:00:30,417
There's a sale
on blue and gold body paint.
11
00:00:30,482 --> 00:00:34,097
You could smear it all over your body
and watch the game in the nude.
12
00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:36,944
My people call it blue and maize.
13
00:00:37,015 --> 00:00:39,920
Not really good colors on you.
You're more of a...
14
00:00:39,995 --> 00:00:41,490
I know, I'm more of a spring.
15
00:00:41,595 --> 00:00:44,314
A spring? Ha! You wish.
He's such a winter.
16
00:00:44,381 --> 00:00:47,864
Back to the plan. I am commandeering
the television set all day,
17
00:00:47,937 --> 00:00:50,557
starting with the
first pre-game show. Got it?
18
00:00:50,626 --> 00:00:51,805
- All right.
- Whatever.
19
00:00:51,877 --> 00:00:55,938
- [zapping on video game]
- Rory, that means no video games.
20
00:00:56,007 --> 00:00:59,043
You kidding? I don't wanna
watch a violent sport like football.
21
00:01:00,363 --> 00:01:02,307
Hey, I killed 'em!
I killed 'em all!
22
00:01:02,381 --> 00:01:04,073
Off! Off!
23
00:01:05,455 --> 00:01:08,109
Bridget, did you
borrow my beige purse?
24
00:01:08,177 --> 00:01:11,179
Yeah, to go with my beige
double-knit jumpsuit.
25
00:01:12,468 --> 00:01:14,357
Wow, very nice.
26
00:01:14,423 --> 00:01:17,939
You know, first grad school seminar.
I want to make a good impression.
27
00:01:18,010 --> 00:01:20,979
How? By turning on all the guys?
I don't think so.
28
00:01:21,053 --> 00:01:25,814
You march upstairs, young lady, and
don't come down until you look frumpy.
29
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,508
Which I realize
is virtually impossible.
30
00:01:28,579 --> 00:01:30,653
Come on, Paul, I'm nervous enough.
31
00:01:30,725 --> 00:01:32,996
I haven't set foot
in a classroom in 16 years.
32
00:01:33,095 --> 00:01:35,431
- You're gonna do great.
- Wow, 16 years.
33
00:01:35,496 --> 00:01:37,506
That's like my entire life.
34
00:01:39,628 --> 00:01:42,281
I'm aware of that, Bridget.
35
00:01:42,382 --> 00:01:43,944
And there's a connection.
36
00:01:44,592 --> 00:01:46,929
- Why are you dressed like that?
- It's Easter.
37
00:01:46,995 --> 00:01:50,195
The Ohio State game.
Why didn't you say something?
38
00:01:50,261 --> 00:01:53,297
Because you've been dreaming
about your Master's forever.
39
00:01:53,368 --> 00:01:56,666
And, you know, it's not like I go
to the game every year or anything.
40
00:01:56,730 --> 00:01:59,121
- Yes, you do.
- Yes, I do, but, honey,
41
00:01:59,197 --> 00:02:00,954
you've been waiting for this day.
42
00:02:01,022 --> 00:02:03,095
I can raise these kids
with my eyes closed.
43
00:02:03,168 --> 00:02:06,269
You just leave out some food
and crack the window a bit.
44
00:02:06,339 --> 00:02:08,707
Yet you cannot even
put your dish in the sink?
45
00:02:08,773 --> 00:02:12,388
Handled. Kids, put my dish
in the sink. See, I'm on fire.
46
00:02:13,354 --> 00:02:15,591
I'm completely reassured.
47
00:02:16,364 --> 00:02:18,918
I have my cell phone
if there's any problems.
48
00:02:18,989 --> 00:02:22,123
Like there's a fire and your dad
won't get up or a pipe bursts
49
00:02:22,193 --> 00:02:24,266
and your dad won't get up.
Or locusts...
50
00:02:24,337 --> 00:02:26,729
Locusts!
I would get up for locusts.
51
00:02:26,804 --> 00:02:29,263
- I mean it, call me.
- Not gonna happen. Here.
52
00:02:29,334 --> 00:02:32,632
OK, just make sure that Kerry
doesn't mope around all day.
53
00:02:32,698 --> 00:02:35,733
Oh, and get Rory away
from that video and out of the house.
54
00:02:35,836 --> 00:02:37,528
No moping, video games.
No problem.
55
00:02:37,629 --> 00:02:40,249
Oh, and keep Bridget off the phone
and out of the mall.
56
00:02:40,319 --> 00:02:42,393
I'm a man, not a miracle worker.
57
00:03:03,699 --> 00:03:06,735
[announcer on TV indistinct]
58
00:03:06,837 --> 00:03:09,459
I'm bored.
When's the game gonna be over?
59
00:03:10,521 --> 00:03:12,563
Are you serious?
It hasn't started yet.
60
00:03:13,659 --> 00:03:18,782
I don't want you playing video games.
You can't just sit and vegetate.
61
00:03:18,848 --> 00:03:20,988
Yeah, Dad's already doing that.
62
00:03:21,058 --> 00:03:21,986
And parenting.
63
00:03:22,083 --> 00:03:25,184
Now, come on everybody, quiet down.
I want to watch the game.
64
00:03:25,254 --> 00:03:29,032
- Go outside and get some fresh air.
- OK, I'll go ride my skateboard.
65
00:03:29,097 --> 00:03:31,750
Go ride your skateboard.
Be sure to wear your helmet
66
00:03:31,851 --> 00:03:35,716
and your elbow pads and your knee...
At least I said it.
67
00:03:36,207 --> 00:03:40,072
- Daddy, which do you like better?
- I love all my children the same.
68
00:03:40,146 --> 00:03:43,378
Oh, you mean the pants?
Bridget, I'm trying to watch...
69
00:03:43,445 --> 00:03:46,415
- You care what I think?
- Take the fashion show outside.
70
00:03:46,488 --> 00:03:49,392
Those of us who can
are trying to read.
71
00:03:49,466 --> 00:03:51,989
See, Kerry,
it can matter how you dress.
72
00:03:52,061 --> 00:03:54,331
- I mean, if you have hips.
- You have zits?
73
00:03:54,397 --> 00:03:57,434
- No, no, I said hips.
- You mean like childbearing hips.
74
00:03:57,537 --> 00:03:59,927
- Shut up!
- Don't talk to your sister like that.
75
00:04:00,003 --> 00:04:01,696
- You always take her side!
- I don't.
76
00:04:01,764 --> 00:04:05,062
- Yeah, OK, you never take my side.
- I take your side a lot.
77
00:04:05,127 --> 00:04:06,558
- Like all the time.
- No.
78
00:04:06,632 --> 00:04:09,220
Name one time you've taken my side.
79
00:04:11,436 --> 00:04:13,226
I have lots of times in my mind,
80
00:04:13,295 --> 00:04:15,817
but I'm not gonna dignify that
with a response.
81
00:04:15,887 --> 00:04:18,345
- I'm waiting.
- OK, OK. The red ones.
82
00:04:18,418 --> 00:04:21,005
Finally. Dad likes these.
They're perfect for you.
83
00:04:21,077 --> 00:04:24,014
I hate you
and your stupid red pants.
84
00:04:24,087 --> 00:04:26,227
Girls, don't kill each other!
85
00:04:27,162 --> 00:04:29,106
At least I said it.
86
00:04:32,063 --> 00:04:35,164
Check this out, Bear,
they're recapping the '78 season.
87
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:37,690
My whole fraternity
went to every game that year.
88
00:04:37,795 --> 00:04:39,290
[groans]
89
00:04:44,553 --> 00:04:46,922
- Something wrong?
- No.
90
00:04:48,044 --> 00:04:49,507
Wow.
91
00:04:51,022 --> 00:04:53,839
Something's bothering you.
What is it, Care Bear?
92
00:04:55,121 --> 00:04:59,828
- I just saw this ad.
- Hey, the Big Top's in town.
93
00:05:00,950 --> 00:05:03,603
My little girl
wants to go to the circus,
94
00:05:03,705 --> 00:05:05,594
but you're too embarrassed to ask.
95
00:05:06,747 --> 00:05:10,067
Monkey. You want to see the monkeys.
96
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:11,606
It's disgusting.
97
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:15,938
The way they treat circus animals
is cruel and your paper's promoting it!
98
00:05:16,003 --> 00:05:18,012
- Uh-huh.
- Dad!
99
00:05:19,334 --> 00:05:21,408
God, you never care about
what I care about!
100
00:05:21,512 --> 00:05:24,034
I do. And I'll care even more
when this game's over.
101
00:05:24,650 --> 00:05:26,506
Unbelievable!
102
00:05:26,572 --> 00:05:29,870
God, you know, would it kill you
to take the time to listen to me?
103
00:05:29,935 --> 00:05:33,166
Hey, I always have time to listen
to you. Just not right now.
104
00:05:33,842 --> 00:05:35,305
[phone ringing]
105
00:05:35,378 --> 00:05:38,032
- You're like the worst father ever.
- I heard that.
106
00:05:38,103 --> 00:05:40,722
See, I do listen.
107
00:05:40,792 --> 00:05:43,315
- Hello?
- Listen to who?
108
00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:45,843
Um... Kerry. We were having
a heart-to-heart.
109
00:05:45,916 --> 00:05:49,214
- [Kerry] Hate! Hate! Hate!
- She says hi, hi, hi.
110
00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:51,649
- So how is everything?
- Well, I just got here.
111
00:05:51,712 --> 00:05:55,328
I forgot to pick up my allergy medicine.
Could you drop by the pharmacy?
112
00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:58,596
Oh, man.
You know I hate buying that stuff.
113
00:05:58,663 --> 00:06:01,863
No, no, no, it's really
allergy medicine this time.
114
00:06:03,115 --> 00:06:06,281
OK, yeah, I'll get it for you, Cate.
115
00:06:06,350 --> 00:06:10,150
It's hard... You're breaking up now.
Call me later, bye-bye.
116
00:06:11,859 --> 00:06:15,658
I'm studying with Courtney. I remembered
my cell phone and I need $40.
117
00:06:15,732 --> 00:06:18,671
You need $40 to study?
No, no. No.
118
00:06:18,744 --> 00:06:21,201
No, no, no, no, no.
No mall today.
119
00:06:21,306 --> 00:06:23,315
- What gave it away?
- The $40.
120
00:06:23,388 --> 00:06:27,253
Cupcake, I'm not inclined to let you
go somewhere if you lie to me about it.
121
00:06:27,328 --> 00:06:31,585
- OK, can I go to the mall?
- See, doesn't the truth feel better?
122
00:06:32,676 --> 00:06:34,138
No, you can't go.
123
00:06:34,662 --> 00:06:37,566
Dad, I promised Courtney.
You asking me to go back on my word?
124
00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:40,839
I will, but that is such bad parenting.
125
00:06:40,907 --> 00:06:44,522
I don't have time to explain to you
everything wrong with that statement.
126
00:06:44,590 --> 00:06:47,821
So you have this
obsessive-compulsive need to shop?
127
00:06:47,921 --> 00:06:52,081
OK. Go pick up your mother's
allergy medicine at the drugstore.
128
00:06:52,148 --> 00:06:54,538
Oh, Dad, grow up.
Pick it up yourself.
129
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:57,203
No, it's really allergy medicine
this time.
130
00:06:57,272 --> 00:06:59,216
- Dad!
- Come on, take it or leave it.
131
00:06:59,771 --> 00:07:02,359
Fine. Like I want to sit
with Psycho Sister babbling
132
00:07:02,430 --> 00:07:04,570
about the poor
unfortunate circus animals.
133
00:07:04,638 --> 00:07:07,488
I mean, God, maybe the bears
wanna dance, OK?
134
00:07:08,226 --> 00:07:10,082
It beats catching fish with your hands.
135
00:07:10,148 --> 00:07:12,670
Bridget. Bye-bye, Bridget.
136
00:07:15,433 --> 00:07:18,599
- Kerry, sweetheart.
- [announcer on TV] Holy Toledo,
137
00:07:18,667 --> 00:07:21,287
Henderson's got it at the 15,
jukes to the 20!
138
00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:24,207
He's got some blocking
down at the 30.
139
00:07:24,304 --> 00:07:26,671
Fumbles! Who's got the ball?
140
00:07:32,053 --> 00:07:34,707
- Kerry? Care Bear?
- [Kerry] Go away!
141
00:07:34,777 --> 00:07:36,665
Honey, I just wanted to...
142
00:07:36,762 --> 00:07:41,108
[announcer on TV] I don't believe it!
Michigan recovers! Michigan recovers!
143
00:07:44,544 --> 00:07:47,067
- You just wanted to what?
- Talk.
144
00:07:47,140 --> 00:07:48,929
OK. What?
145
00:07:48,997 --> 00:07:51,715
Honey, if it'll make you feel
any better, I'm sorry.
146
00:07:54,345 --> 00:07:55,775
For what?
147
00:07:58,380 --> 00:08:00,073
I don't know.
148
00:08:04,594 --> 00:08:07,246
[announcer on TV] Look out!
And he's gone!
149
00:08:07,316 --> 00:08:09,970
Touchdown!
Michigan goes back up on top!
150
00:08:10,038 --> 00:08:11,731
Touchdown! Yes! Yes!
151
00:08:11,832 --> 00:08:15,218
- And there's a flag down on the play.
- No! No, flag!
152
00:08:16,059 --> 00:08:18,582
Dad, can I talk to you a minute?
153
00:08:18,654 --> 00:08:20,828
- Can't talk.
- It's about sex.
154
00:08:22,977 --> 00:08:25,947
Do I have to break out
the health book again?
155
00:08:26,020 --> 00:08:28,990
- If it's not too much trouble.
- I thought we had this talk.
156
00:08:29,062 --> 00:08:33,059
You did. I'll never forget
the giggling coming from his room.
157
00:08:33,578 --> 00:08:36,810
I couldn't help it.
You should've seen the look on his face.
158
00:08:37,389 --> 00:08:40,358
- I'm not talking to you.
- Ha! You just did.
159
00:08:41,842 --> 00:08:43,501
So, what's on your mind, buddy?
160
00:08:44,404 --> 00:08:47,702
My body feels weird
when I look at girls.
161
00:08:47,765 --> 00:08:52,659
- What's going on with me, Dad?
- Well, it's a rough time, sport.
162
00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:54,772
I remember when I was 13.
163
00:08:54,844 --> 00:08:59,004
Boy, they had ads in the back
of comic books on how to get girls
164
00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:03,232
through hypnosis and X-ray specs.
165
00:09:03,298 --> 00:09:06,336
Total rip-offs. Anyway...
166
00:09:06,406 --> 00:09:09,637
Level 12! I got to level 12!
I've never been to level 12!
167
00:09:10,761 --> 00:09:12,902
What do you think you're doing?
168
00:09:12,971 --> 00:09:15,625
I'm just trying to take
my mind off my problem.
169
00:09:17,007 --> 00:09:19,245
- Outside!
- I'm sorry.
170
00:09:19,312 --> 00:09:20,591
God!
171
00:09:21,619 --> 00:09:24,523
[announcer] Oh, Singletary really
puts a hurt on Temerit.
172
00:09:24,597 --> 00:09:26,093
Knocked his helmet clean off.
173
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:27,279
Total interference!
174
00:09:27,352 --> 00:09:30,967
[announcer 2] They better make sure his
head's not still in there. [laughing]
175
00:09:31,067 --> 00:09:32,759
Shut up! Not funny.
176
00:09:32,860 --> 00:09:35,709
- [phone ringing]
- Not gonna get that.
177
00:09:35,775 --> 00:09:38,167
[Rory on machine]
You've reached the Hennessys.
178
00:09:38,241 --> 00:09:40,763
If calling Paul, Cate or Rory,
please leave a message.
179
00:09:40,835 --> 00:09:43,871
If calling for Bridget or Kerry,
you have the wrong number.
180
00:09:43,974 --> 00:09:45,437
[man] This is Brenner's Drugs.
181
00:09:45,511 --> 00:09:47,880
I'm calling for the parents
of Bridget Hennessy.
182
00:09:47,945 --> 00:09:50,598
We're detaining her for shoplifting.
183
00:09:51,563 --> 00:09:55,943
[announcer on TV radio indistinct]
184
00:09:56,848 --> 00:09:58,541
- How could you do this?
- Dad, I...
185
00:09:58,642 --> 00:10:01,262
Don't even! Thank you
for calling me and not the cops.
186
00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:02,795
She will never do this again.
187
00:10:02,870 --> 00:10:07,248
At least not here. Everybody on our
wall of shame is permanently banned.
188
00:10:07,353 --> 00:10:10,356
- Dad, I swear...
- Don't talk to me, you are in trouble.
189
00:10:10,427 --> 00:10:14,042
[announcer] That closes the door on the
best half of football I've ever seen!
190
00:10:14,111 --> 00:10:16,153
Big trouble. Come on.
191
00:10:20,485 --> 00:10:22,494
- Bridget!
- I'm not talking about it!
192
00:10:22,566 --> 00:10:25,023
- You are talking about this.
- What is the point?
193
00:10:25,129 --> 00:10:29,224
- You've made up your mind I'm guilty.
- They caught you taking lipstick!
194
00:10:29,292 --> 00:10:31,749
I would never buy lipstick
at a drugstore.
195
00:10:32,622 --> 00:10:35,014
Nobody's accusing you of buying it.
196
00:10:35,089 --> 00:10:37,742
That's why your picture
is up on their wall of shame.
197
00:10:37,843 --> 00:10:39,819
I cannot believe you.
I'm calling Mom.
198
00:10:39,893 --> 00:10:41,301
- And ruin her day?
- Your day?
199
00:10:41,367 --> 00:10:44,566
- You've already done that.
- Dad, if you really want to apologize,
200
00:10:44,633 --> 00:10:47,482
write a column on your paper's
pro-animal-cruelty stance.
201
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:51,478
All they did was run an ad
for children of all ages.
202
00:10:52,672 --> 00:10:54,680
I knew you wouldn't.
I'm calling Mom.
203
00:10:54,754 --> 00:10:58,052
- Me first.
- Does everyone have a cell phone?
204
00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:00,934
- How much am I paying for these?
- You get the phones free.
205
00:11:00,998 --> 00:11:03,073
I bet you do.
No, you're not calling Mom.
206
00:11:03,177 --> 00:11:07,074
This is a very important day for her.
We're not gonna make it any harder.
207
00:11:07,148 --> 00:11:11,724
- Are you gonna write the article?
- I don't have time to deal with you.
208
00:11:11,792 --> 00:11:13,484
Oh, right, I forgot.
209
00:11:13,554 --> 00:11:16,687
I was caring about animals while
you watched your football game.
210
00:11:16,756 --> 00:11:19,540
I am not watching the game.
It's about Bridget.
211
00:11:19,606 --> 00:11:22,391
Oh, I should have known.
It's always about Bridget.
212
00:11:22,457 --> 00:11:25,241
Bridget's problems
are always more important than mine.
213
00:11:25,308 --> 00:11:30,265
"Oh, my God, Daddy,
my shoe strap broke! What do I do?"
214
00:11:31,744 --> 00:11:33,884
Bridget got busted for shoplifting.
215
00:11:34,884 --> 00:11:36,673
She did?
216
00:11:37,125 --> 00:11:40,477
I did not shoplift. And thanks
for telling everyone my business!
217
00:11:40,551 --> 00:11:42,561
- Who shoplifted?
- I did not!
218
00:11:42,634 --> 00:11:44,970
- I told you to go outside.
- No way.
219
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:48,969
People are gonna point and say,
"There goes the shoplifter's brother."
220
00:11:49,039 --> 00:11:50,447
You are such a brat.
221
00:11:50,513 --> 00:11:53,166
- Bridget! Bridget, you get back here!
- [phone rings]
222
00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:55,091
- Nobody move!
- Stay inside, got it.
223
00:11:55,156 --> 00:11:58,574
- Nobody move? What's wrong?
- Somebody was offsides. How ya doing?
224
00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:00,273
- Let me talk to her.
- No, no, no.
225
00:12:00,345 --> 00:12:02,004
- No?
- No, offsides again.
226
00:12:02,075 --> 00:12:03,964
The penalties are killing us.
227
00:12:04,060 --> 00:12:07,095
You're gonna hate prison.
Everyone will dress like you.
228
00:12:07,166 --> 00:12:08,597
Stop it!
229
00:12:08,672 --> 00:12:11,456
Paul, what is going on?
Do you need some help?
230
00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:14,459
- Everything is fine.
- Good, because the people I'm with
231
00:12:14,532 --> 00:12:17,950
- want to go watch the rest of the game.
- I'm having fun. You should.
232
00:12:18,056 --> 00:12:21,190
Listen, everything
is under control here. Bye, love you.
233
00:12:21,258 --> 00:12:24,393
- You are so out of control here.
- I'm out of control? You are!
234
00:12:24,462 --> 00:12:28,262
- Are you gonna write the article?
- I can't deal with this now.
235
00:12:28,336 --> 00:12:31,088
- As long as you're not watching...
- Get outside!
236
00:12:32,532 --> 00:12:35,381
That's a lovely outfit, Bridget.
Where did you get it?
237
00:12:35,478 --> 00:12:38,710
- You gave it to me.
- Really? I've never seen it before.
238
00:12:38,777 --> 00:12:40,851
Oh, I knew Mom put your name
on the card!
239
00:12:40,923 --> 00:12:43,959
- I love how I'm on trial here.
- How much time does it take
240
00:12:44,029 --> 00:12:45,209
to step into a store?
241
00:12:45,279 --> 00:12:47,550
Longer, if you actually
pay for the item.
242
00:12:48,899 --> 00:12:50,525
You really think I would shoplift?
243
00:12:50,596 --> 00:12:53,019
Here it is.
Poor little innocent Bridget.
244
00:12:53,093 --> 00:12:56,130
It's bad enough that you stole,
but to stand there and lie.
245
00:12:56,201 --> 00:12:58,569
I thought you had
more character than that.
246
00:12:58,633 --> 00:13:02,794
- Fine! I don't care what you think.
- Come back! We're not done talking!
247
00:13:02,863 --> 00:13:04,073
[door slams]
248
00:13:04,143 --> 00:13:06,032
Go to your room!
249
00:13:08,050 --> 00:13:10,507
- Dad?
- Kerry, I am on my knees.
250
00:13:10,580 --> 00:13:14,774
I really, really can't talk
about circus animals right now.
251
00:13:15,801 --> 00:13:18,191
Do you really
think Bridget would steal?
252
00:13:19,197 --> 00:13:22,046
There's a lot of bad things
that you don't know about.
253
00:13:22,111 --> 00:13:25,429
There's a list as long as your arm.
But stealing, it isn't one of them.
254
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:28,409
- There's a list as long as my arm?
- At least. But she...
255
00:13:28,483 --> 00:13:30,657
- So what's on the list?
- I'm not telling you!
256
00:13:30,726 --> 00:13:34,472
- Come on, just get me up to my wrist.
- See, that is exactly the problem.
257
00:13:34,536 --> 00:13:37,189
- You don't listen.
- I don't listen?
258
00:13:37,291 --> 00:13:40,141
I mean, God, that thing
about the animals really upset me,
259
00:13:40,237 --> 00:13:42,508
but you ignore me,
'cause I'm the middle child.
260
00:13:42,607 --> 00:13:44,879
- Now, listen. Come on, Bridget...
- Kerry!
261
00:13:44,978 --> 00:13:46,834
I mean... I'm saying Bridget.
262
00:13:46,899 --> 00:13:49,716
With her around here,
it was like a three-ring circus.
263
00:13:49,782 --> 00:13:52,719
- Dad!
- Sorry, no circus, come here. Kerry.
264
00:13:52,793 --> 00:13:56,024
I really do care about what's
important to you. I always have.
265
00:13:56,091 --> 00:13:57,980
- Right.
- No, come here, come here.
266
00:13:58,077 --> 00:13:59,355
Listen, honey.
267
00:14:03,552 --> 00:14:07,899
I know you've always loved animals.
And I adore that about you.
268
00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:11,271
I remember when you were five,
and you had just started to read,
269
00:14:11,336 --> 00:14:15,267
you came to me heartbroken
and crying one day.
270
00:14:15,339 --> 00:14:19,652
You said, "Daddy, I just saw a sign
on the corner and it said 'Last Dog."'
271
00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:21,616
- Do you remember this?
- Kind of.
272
00:14:21,712 --> 00:14:25,610
Anyway, you were sobbing because
you thought there weren't going to be
273
00:14:25,685 --> 00:14:28,075
any more dogs.
274
00:14:28,566 --> 00:14:30,510
And I hugged you and I laughed.
275
00:14:30,584 --> 00:14:34,712
I said, "Honey, it didn't say
'Last Dog.' It said 'Lost Dog."'
276
00:14:35,740 --> 00:14:38,492
And then you started
sobbing all over again.
277
00:14:38,559 --> 00:14:40,316
Because he was lost.
278
00:14:41,377 --> 00:14:44,543
- You found him, right?
- Yes, of course I did.
279
00:14:44,611 --> 00:14:47,265
That's what I said, didn't I?
I said that I found him
280
00:14:47,335 --> 00:14:49,191
and I'm sure he's still on that farm
281
00:14:49,257 --> 00:14:53,318
running and barking and playing
with all the other little doggies.
282
00:14:54,764 --> 00:14:56,588
He's dead, isn't he?
283
00:14:58,767 --> 00:15:01,672
Well, by now.
I mean, it was a long time ago!
284
00:15:02,387 --> 00:15:04,528
Oh, God.
285
00:15:07,543 --> 00:15:08,853
Dad?
286
00:15:10,650 --> 00:15:14,003
How'd you get up there?
Never mind. I don't even want to know.
287
00:15:14,429 --> 00:15:16,887
What is it, Rory?
What could be so important?
288
00:15:16,959 --> 00:15:19,001
Bridget's crying.
289
00:15:26,024 --> 00:15:27,333
[knocking on door]
290
00:15:28,552 --> 00:15:30,342
Beach?
291
00:15:33,710 --> 00:15:35,533
Good idea, I'll start.
292
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:37,963
Honey, I'm...
293
00:15:39,346 --> 00:15:42,731
I'm sorry I accused you
without listening to your side.
294
00:15:42,806 --> 00:15:47,632
I guess it was the shock of seeing
your picture up on that wall of shame.
295
00:15:47,705 --> 00:15:50,742
- That doesn't make it true.
- I know. So why don't you...
296
00:15:50,844 --> 00:15:52,536
Tell me what really happened.
297
00:15:52,638 --> 00:15:53,882
[sighs]
298
00:15:53,950 --> 00:15:58,525
OK, we stopped in cosmetics because
if we had to do this thing for you,
299
00:15:58,594 --> 00:16:02,274
then we might as well have fun, and
I've never found eye shadow that works
300
00:16:02,341 --> 00:16:04,896
with my combination skin.
"Last all night color"?
301
00:16:04,968 --> 00:16:08,865
- That is a laugh. I get it from Mom.
- Is this leading to the picture?
302
00:16:08,939 --> 00:16:11,178
Courtney was stuffing
a lipstick in her bag.
303
00:16:11,244 --> 00:16:14,596
I was stunned. "What are you doing?"
And she's all, "Everybody does it."
304
00:16:14,672 --> 00:16:17,195
I'm all, "It's stealing."
She's all, "You're a wuss."
305
00:16:17,266 --> 00:16:18,893
- You're all...
- I'm all, "No!"
306
00:16:18,964 --> 00:16:22,929
I put it back myself, then she grabs it
and stuffs it in her fake Fendi baguette
307
00:16:22,999 --> 00:16:25,904
and this clerk shows up
and it turns into this ugly scene.
308
00:16:25,978 --> 00:16:28,434
So you didn't take the lipstick?
309
00:16:28,507 --> 00:16:30,396
No! Dad, it was coral.
310
00:16:31,134 --> 00:16:34,170
I can't wear coral.
Look at me. Hello, I'm a summer.
311
00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:39,133
- That's all I needed to hear.
- Peach. Maybe tangerine too, but...
312
00:16:39,204 --> 00:16:41,442
That's all I needed to hear.
313
00:16:41,511 --> 00:16:44,929
Dad, I know you don't think I care
about what you think of me,
314
00:16:45,002 --> 00:16:49,196
- but I really want you to trust me.
- I do, Bridget, I really do.
315
00:16:50,735 --> 00:16:52,164
- So we're good now?
- No.
316
00:16:52,241 --> 00:16:54,413
No? I said I believe you.
317
00:16:54,482 --> 00:16:58,063
Yeah, but you totally bailed on me.
You dragged me out of that store.
318
00:16:58,133 --> 00:17:01,748
I was humiliated. Like having my picture
on the wall wasn't bad enough.
319
00:17:01,815 --> 00:17:03,475
- Dad?
- What?
320
00:17:03,546 --> 00:17:05,784
It's happening again.
321
00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:08,756
My body's doing strange
and wonderful things.
322
00:17:10,527 --> 00:17:12,798
- I'm so confused.
- OK! Go play your video games.
323
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,868
OK! Thanks, Dad!
324
00:17:16,644 --> 00:17:20,324
- Excuse me, I was here earlier.
- You're the shoplifter's father.
325
00:17:20,392 --> 00:17:22,662
That was a mistake.
She doesn't belong there.
326
00:17:22,730 --> 00:17:25,098
- None of them do.
- My daughter is innocent.
327
00:17:25,164 --> 00:17:26,627
I know. They all are.
328
00:17:26,700 --> 00:17:28,939
Listen, pal, I've had a hard day.
329
00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:33,135
I had to watch the game of the century
on a two-inch television screen.
330
00:17:33,203 --> 00:17:36,107
It was the game of the century?
No, wait, wait.
331
00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:39,348
Did you actually see my girl
take the lipstick?
332
00:17:40,344 --> 00:17:42,233
Yeah, you heard me.
Did you see it?
333
00:17:42,330 --> 00:17:45,682
You can't always catch 'em red-handed.
And she gave me attitude.
334
00:17:45,757 --> 00:17:48,726
Try living with her.
But that doesn't make her a criminal.
335
00:17:48,799 --> 00:17:51,224
- Take down the picture.
- You'd better leave.
336
00:17:51,298 --> 00:17:56,036
I'm not leaving.
You take the picture down or I will.
337
00:18:03,692 --> 00:18:06,630
- Bridgie, look what I have.
- I gotta go.
338
00:18:06,703 --> 00:18:10,088
- Oh, you're the best.
- I got it down before anybody saw it.
339
00:18:10,162 --> 00:18:12,105
Are you saying I don't look good?
340
00:18:12,180 --> 00:18:14,221
Bridget, I am trying my best here.
341
00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:17,110
I went to the pharmacy
and I gave the clerk an earful.
342
00:18:17,176 --> 00:18:19,993
- Please, meet me halfway.
- I'll let you off the hook,
343
00:18:20,057 --> 00:18:21,041
on one condition.
344
00:18:21,115 --> 00:18:24,020
- Heather's having a party this weekend.
- Parents?
345
00:18:24,093 --> 00:18:27,129
No parents, but she's responsible.
Her cousin is a Marine.
346
00:18:27,201 --> 00:18:29,853
He'll be there with his buddies,
so we'll be safe.
347
00:18:29,923 --> 00:18:33,854
I was worried, but as long as there's
gonna be Marines with school girls...
348
00:18:33,925 --> 00:18:35,586
- Have enough booze?
- Thanks!
349
00:18:35,655 --> 00:18:38,112
- That was Daddy's way of saying no way.
- Too late.
350
00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:42,018
Mom, how was class? Stay off the phone.
I'm calling Heather.
351
00:18:42,092 --> 00:18:45,259
- Hi, I had such a great day!
- Did ya?
352
00:18:48,305 --> 00:18:52,849
I was smart and I made new friends,
and what about that game?
353
00:18:52,918 --> 00:18:57,176
I don't usually watch football, and even
I knew I was watching something special.
354
00:18:57,242 --> 00:18:59,513
Yeah. I waited all year for it.
355
00:18:59,611 --> 00:19:02,648
Well, I can see everything's
pretty much the way I left it.
356
00:19:03,678 --> 00:19:07,675
It was a very challenging day, Cate.
I must say, I rose to the challenge.
357
00:19:07,746 --> 00:19:10,302
I should be inducted
into the Father Hall of Fame.
358
00:19:10,373 --> 00:19:13,190
And yet you couldn't
put your dish in the sink.
359
00:19:13,255 --> 00:19:15,713
I'm sorry, honey. I was very busy.
360
00:19:16,297 --> 00:19:21,124
"Did you get my prescription?"
she asked, knowing the answer: "No."
361
00:19:21,198 --> 00:19:25,063
Uh, your prescription.
After all that. I'll go now.
362
00:19:25,136 --> 00:19:27,178
No, no, it's OK, I owe you for today.
363
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:31,892
Get a head start putting that dish in
the sink and I'll help when I get back.
364
00:19:31,959 --> 00:19:34,995
Cate, you don't happen to know
the score of the game, do you?
365
00:19:35,097 --> 00:19:38,002
Oh, come on, Paul.
366
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:44,925
Hennessy.
367
00:19:49,574 --> 00:19:50,622
Hennessy?
368
00:19:51,399 --> 00:19:52,611
Yeah.
369
00:20:15,708 --> 00:20:18,098
[man on TV] Stay tuned
for complete game highlights
370
00:20:18,174 --> 00:20:19,636
of today's game of the century.
371
00:20:19,711 --> 00:20:22,616
Dad, this thing
about Bridget and lipstick
372
00:20:22,690 --> 00:20:24,960
started me thinking
about animal testing.
373
00:20:25,027 --> 00:20:27,485
They test cosmetics
on rabbits, you know?
374
00:20:27,558 --> 00:20:30,976
And that started me thinking
about Mr. Wiggles.
375
00:20:31,049 --> 00:20:35,624
I couldn't stand to think if he was
in a cage somewhere with lipstick on.
31822
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