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1
00:00:03,371 --> 00:00:05,273
I don't have to go.
2
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:08,276
I mean, I'm sorry I have work
to do, so you can't stay.
3
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,544
Didn't you hear me?
I can stay.
4
00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:14,014
Yeah, I wish you could...
5
00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:16,484
...but there's no way
6
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:19,253
I'd be able to
concentrate with you around.
7
00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,589
Don't forget your sweater.
8
00:00:23,191 --> 00:00:25,993
Oh, you are so thoughtful.
Most guys aren't.
9
00:00:26,060 --> 00:00:28,028
Most guys are selfish,
hateful bastards,
10
00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:32,133
who just want to use you
and throw you away.
11
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,502
Damn them.
12
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:37,505
Anything else you might
have overlooked--
13
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:39,006
cell phone, earrings?
14
00:00:39,073 --> 00:00:41,109
Any medications?
15
00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:44,112
Hang on.
16
00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:45,546
Nope, I'm all set.
17
00:00:45,613 --> 00:00:47,315
Good, good.
18
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,982
Okay, well,
I'll see you soon.
19
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,084
How soon?
20
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,319
Very soon.
21
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,187
So you'll call?
What do you think?
22
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:54,455
(voice breaking):
I think you'll call.
23
00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:56,056
Well, there you go.
24
00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:00,628
So when will you call?
Soon.
25
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:03,664
How soon?
We're back on
this ride, huh?
26
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:06,066
Okay, very soon.
Bye-bye now.
27
00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:12,740
(sighs)
28
00:01:12,806 --> 00:01:14,108
When will I learn?
29
00:01:14,175 --> 00:01:15,143
ALAN:
Soon.
30
00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:18,479
Very soon.
31
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:20,181
Don't tell me,
32
00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:22,683
tell the cockeyed optimist
in my pants.
33
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,552
So where'd you find this one?
34
00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:26,454
The animal shelter.
35
00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:28,422
So, we getting a pet?
36
00:01:28,489 --> 00:01:31,359
Are you crazy?
We've already got your kid.
37
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:34,395
Then what were you doing there?
38
00:01:34,462 --> 00:01:37,331
Standing within earshot
of attractive women
39
00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:41,169
and mumbling, "Gee, I wish
I could adopt them all."
40
00:01:42,703 --> 00:01:45,206
It's foolproof.
41
00:01:45,273 --> 00:01:48,209
Listen, there's something
I need to talk to you about.
42
00:01:48,276 --> 00:01:50,578
You know the difference
between you and me, Alan?
43
00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:52,646
I don't scream
when I pee?
44
00:01:52,713 --> 00:01:55,115
I took care of that.
45
00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:59,086
No, the difference
between you and me
46
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:02,089
is I have vision--
I see what others don't.
47
00:02:02,156 --> 00:02:03,724
Terrific. Anyway, the thing
I wanted to tell you...
48
00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:05,659
You look at an animal
shelter and see
49
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:08,061
homeless dogs and
kitties about to
be put to death.
50
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:11,199
Me-- I see an ass farm.
51
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:13,534
Okay, I'm speechless.
52
00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:16,237
No words necessary.
53
00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:19,840
Silent admiration
is all I ask.
54
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:21,542
So, what is it you
wanted to tell me?
55
00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:24,745
(thud)
56
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:29,850
The railing's a little loose.
57
00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:35,656
* Men, men, men, men,
manly men, men, men *
* Ah, ah!
58
00:02:41,329 --> 00:02:45,666
Oh, I got to stop falling
off the deck sober.
59
00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:50,170
Buenos dias.
60
00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:55,676
Huevos rancheros.
61
00:02:58,078 --> 00:02:59,247
Morning.
62
00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:00,914
How are you feeling?
63
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:03,984
Like I feel eight feet
onto splintered wood,
64
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:06,019
wet sand and a dead crab.
65
00:03:06,086 --> 00:03:08,155
I can only think
your highly inflated ego
66
00:03:08,222 --> 00:03:10,258
might have broken your fall.
67
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:13,026
So where'd you find
Pancho Bob Villa out there?
68
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:17,798
You know those fliers
that get left in your
mailbox all the time?
69
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,300
Yeah.
70
00:03:19,367 --> 00:03:22,069
Well, I take them and file
them according to category.
71
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:26,907
Take-out menus, rug sales,
carpet cleaning, plumbing,
tiling...
72
00:03:26,974 --> 00:03:31,712
Fernando was under
"handyman services."
73
00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:34,282
You're going to live here
forever, aren't you?
74
00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:37,751
He's licensed, he's bonded,
75
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,052
he's punctual and he's
reasonably priced.
76
00:03:39,119 --> 00:03:40,721
Are you paying him?
77
00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:43,857
No, but I'm saving you 20%
with this valuable coupon.
78
00:03:44,825 --> 00:03:46,059
Morning.
79
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:47,895
Hey.
Morning.
80
00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,162
(saw whirring)
81
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,698
What in the heck is...?
82
00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:51,832
Oh, yum.
83
00:03:54,302 --> 00:03:56,304
Who is that?
84
00:03:56,370 --> 00:03:57,638
He's a handyman.
85
00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:59,239
Ooh, nice.
86
00:03:59,307 --> 00:04:01,208
Can we keep him?
Can we, can we?
87
00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:02,310
He's just here
to fix the deck.
88
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:04,111
Great.
89
00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:06,314
There's a lot of work that can
be done in here, too.
90
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:07,615
Like what?
91
00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,650
Well, for starters,
92
00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:12,152
that cabinet door's
coming off its hinges.
93
00:04:12,219 --> 00:04:13,754
Really?
94
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,094
No, it's not.
95
00:04:27,368 --> 00:04:29,803
Yeah, it is.
96
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,005
(saw whirring)
97
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:34,675
He looks parched.
98
00:04:34,742 --> 00:04:37,311
I'll take him some rum.
99
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:42,115
* Men.
100
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:45,018
See, my problem is,
is that I'm a giver.
101
00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:46,620
I love too much.
102
00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:49,122
And it's always
the wrong man.
103
00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:51,224
You have romance
in your heart.
104
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:53,026
Oh, I have romance
all over me.
105
00:04:53,093 --> 00:04:55,396
I reek of it.
106
00:04:55,463 --> 00:04:57,264
Another mojito?
107
00:04:57,331 --> 00:05:00,634
Oh, no-- one is my limit
when I work with power tools.
108
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:02,470
That's smart.
109
00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:05,673
We wouldn't want you to lose
one of those beautiful thumbs.
110
00:05:05,739 --> 00:05:06,807
Berta?
111
00:05:06,874 --> 00:05:08,709
What?!
112
00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:11,311
I just thought maybe
it's almost lunchtime...
113
00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:12,312
Oh, yeah.
114
00:05:12,380 --> 00:05:14,948
Quesadilla, bright eyes?
115
00:05:15,015 --> 00:05:15,949
Thank you.
116
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,785
Coming up.
117
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,219
Actually, I'd rather
have a sandwich...
118
00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:20,621
I'm making quesadillas!
119
00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:21,855
Quesadillas, fine.
120
00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:27,461
So, Fernando,
how's it going?
121
00:05:27,528 --> 00:05:28,529
Oh, sorry to tell you this,
122
00:05:28,596 --> 00:05:30,631
but you have
a problem here.
123
00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:34,334
Just don't let her corner
you in the laundry room
and you'll be fine.
124
00:05:34,402 --> 00:05:36,370
No, the deck.
125
00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:38,372
When is the last time
you put sealant on it?
126
00:05:38,439 --> 00:05:39,373
Well...
127
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,240
uh...
128
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:42,275
What?!
129
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:46,246
Oh, Señor, you cannot
have wood untreated
this close to the ocean.
130
00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:48,949
The moisture, she gets in
and rots it from the inside.
131
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,552
Where have I heard that before?
132
00:05:51,619 --> 00:05:53,454
Oh right, my doctor.
133
00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:55,523
But it wasn't moisture,
it was scotch.
134
00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:57,458
You need to replace
the entire railing,
135
00:05:57,525 --> 00:05:59,292
parts of the deck and the
stairway to the beach.
136
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,828
Huh.
137
00:06:00,894 --> 00:06:03,864
Well, why can't I just put on
some of that sealant?
138
00:06:03,931 --> 00:06:06,934
You could do that, but it
would be, as we say:
139
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,502
Ordeñar a una vaca muerta.
140
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:09,803
What's that mean?
141
00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,772
Milking a dead cow.
142
00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:13,874
Ah.
143
00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:18,846
Well, maybe before I commit
to all this work,
144
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:20,548
I should get a second opinion.
145
00:06:20,614 --> 00:06:21,782
I understand.
146
00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:24,017
You are a smart
and careful man.
147
00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:30,791
But I would hurry up
before your deck falls off.
148
00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:33,794
Something else
my doctor told me.
149
00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:36,797
* Men.
150
00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:38,532
(phone ringing)
151
00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:40,367
ALAN:
Hello.
152
00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:43,771
Oh, hang on,
I'll see if
he's here.
153
00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:46,840
It's Chloe.
154
00:06:48,742 --> 00:06:51,044
I need more than that, Alan.
155
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:54,381
The girl you adopted
at the animal shelter.
156
00:06:54,448 --> 00:06:57,050
Oh, God, she won't
leave me alone.
157
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:58,886
What do you want me to say?
158
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,821
I don't know; tell her I'm sick.
159
00:07:00,888 --> 00:07:02,490
Okay.
160
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:03,924
What do you have?
161
00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:06,660
What are you talking about?
162
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,729
Are you bedridden
or ambulatory?
163
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:11,899
Uh... bedridden.
164
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:14,602
Got it.
165
00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:16,737
Is if viral or bacterial?
166
00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:18,506
What?!
167
00:07:18,572 --> 00:07:20,808
If I'm going to lie
convincingly, I need details.
168
00:07:20,874 --> 00:07:22,943
I don't know-- I got a bug.
169
00:07:23,010 --> 00:07:25,479
Intestinal or bronchial?
170
00:07:25,546 --> 00:07:27,848
Just tell her I got
the flu, all right?
171
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:29,349
Oh, good, the flu.
172
00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:31,952
Is it coming out
both ends?
173
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,088
Just give me
the freakin' phone.
174
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:39,660
(coughs)
175
00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:42,062
No, it's okay,
I want to talk to her.
176
00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:46,934
(weakly):
Hello, Chloe.
177
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,468
No, I'm fine.
178
00:07:48,536 --> 00:07:49,970
Just a little bug.
179
00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:52,873
Doctor said I should be okay
in a couple of weeks.
180
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:55,075
Me too, baby.
181
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,444
I'll call you.
182
00:07:57,511 --> 00:08:00,380
Soon.
183
00:08:00,447 --> 00:08:02,783
Very soon.
184
00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:03,817
See?
185
00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:05,586
Was that so hard?
186
00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:07,555
Well, to be fair,
you had the advantage
187
00:08:07,621 --> 00:08:09,723
of making it
a performance piece.
188
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,825
Hey, dawgs.
189
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:13,060
Hey.
Hey, Jake.
190
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:14,995
Alan, here, I need you
to sign these papers
191
00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:17,164
for Jake's summer school.
192
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,866
Summer school, again?
193
00:08:18,932 --> 00:08:21,034
Why not?
He's getting good at it.
194
00:08:21,101 --> 00:08:22,069
Oh, my Lord.
195
00:08:22,135 --> 00:08:24,104
Who is that?
196
00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,173
That's my handyman.
197
00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:28,609
Really? I've been looking
for a good handyman.
198
00:08:28,676 --> 00:08:30,410
Well, it's a little
soon to know how good he is...
199
00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:31,612
I'll find out.
200
00:08:33,547 --> 00:08:35,849
I'm starting to see
a trend here.
201
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:41,589
* Besame, besame mucho *
202
00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:44,892
* Como si fuera
esta noche... *
203
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,661
That boney bitch!
204
00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:56,503
Yep, definitely a trend.
205
00:08:58,772 --> 00:09:00,974
* Men.
206
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:03,677
Summer school
three years in a row.
207
00:09:03,744 --> 00:09:08,716
They might as well just
make you the janitor.
208
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,618
Yeah, well, school sucks.
209
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:12,519
That's because you go
year-round.
210
00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:16,456
Imagine if you had a couple
months off in the summer.
211
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,492
If I were you,
I'd start teaching him
212
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:20,761
how to throw sawdust on vomit.
213
00:09:22,095 --> 00:09:23,931
I can do that.
214
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:26,634
Why don't you just go
start your homework?
215
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:27,968
What's the point?
216
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:28,669
I'm already going
to summer school.
217
00:09:28,736 --> 00:09:30,003
Jake...
218
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,872
And if I flunk there,
what can they do?
219
00:09:31,939 --> 00:09:33,006
Send me to regular school?
220
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,808
Go.
221
00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:39,680
Actually, that sawdust job
may be a pipe dream.
222
00:09:41,849 --> 00:09:44,217
Is the big one gone?
223
00:09:46,053 --> 00:09:48,622
Yeah, she went to get
something waxed.
224
00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:51,992
We were scared to ask what.
225
00:09:52,059 --> 00:09:53,661
I just wanted to tell you
226
00:09:53,727 --> 00:09:55,595
I was able to save you
some money on the redwood.
227
00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:56,964
Oh, that's terrific. How?
228
00:09:57,030 --> 00:10:00,868
My cousin-- he works
at a lumberyard and...
229
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,170
that's all you need to know.
230
00:10:03,236 --> 00:10:05,272
Well, thanks.
231
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,007
No problem.
I'll get back to work.
232
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:09,109
I like this guy.
233
00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:10,644
Of course you do.
234
00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:11,945
What's that supposed
to mean?
235
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:14,014
Charlie, he's a younger version
of you.
236
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:17,685
Oh yeah, that must be it.
237
00:10:17,751 --> 00:10:19,286
(doorbell ringing)
JAKE:
I'll get it.
238
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:22,255
There you go.
He could be a doorman.
239
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,692
Charlie, I really
don't appreciate...
240
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:25,926
I'm not saying right away.
241
00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:28,095
He could work his way up
from doorstop.
242
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:29,863
Uncle Charlie,
it's Chloe.
243
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,932
Aw, geez, did you let her in?
244
00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:33,300
No, she's on the front porch.
245
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:34,668
I told her I'd see
if you were home.
246
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,003
Attaboy.
247
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:38,772
See? He'll make doorman
in no time.
248
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:41,008
She brought soup.
249
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:43,243
Why would she
bring soup?
250
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,912
You told her
you had a bug.
251
00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:46,646
So she assumed
it was bronchial.
252
00:10:46,714 --> 00:10:48,716
If you'd been more specific,
like I suggested,
253
00:10:48,782 --> 00:10:49,783
you could have precluded this.
254
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:54,888
Nobody just drops by when
they think you have diarrhea.
255
00:10:57,090 --> 00:11:00,260
And I bet they don't
bring soup either.
256
00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:04,564
All right, all right, I'm
gonna sneak out the back door.
257
00:11:04,631 --> 00:11:06,700
Just tell her I had a
doctor's appointment.
258
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:07,968
GP or specialist?
259
00:11:09,636 --> 00:11:12,039
Alan, I swear to God,
I will rip off your head
260
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:14,341
and use your neck
as a bedpan.
261
00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:17,110
Charlie, you cannot keep lying
to this girl forever.
262
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:19,179
Oh, I think I can.
263
00:11:19,246 --> 00:11:20,881
Just go out there and tell her
264
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:22,215
you're not interested
in a relationship
265
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:23,216
and be done with it.
266
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:26,653
Yeah... I guess
you're right.
267
00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:30,290
I say we eat the soup
before you tell her.
268
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,929
Smelled like minestrone.
269
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:38,298
Listen, Chloe,
we need to talk...
270
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:41,835
Chloe?
271
00:11:41,902 --> 00:11:43,136
(Chloe laughing in distance)
272
00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:50,010
Looks like your
problem's solved.
273
00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:51,879
Are you crazy?
274
00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,947
That rat bastard
is stealing my girlfriend.
275
00:11:56,049 --> 00:11:58,786
Forget the girl,
he's stealing our soup!
276
00:11:59,887 --> 00:12:01,621
* Men.
277
00:12:05,826 --> 00:12:07,694
Hey, baby, thanks so much
for coming to see me.
278
00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:08,762
Yeah, well,
279
00:12:08,829 --> 00:12:10,697
that's what
friends are for.
280
00:12:12,199 --> 00:12:15,702
So, um, Charlie, did you know
that Fernando volunteers
281
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:18,071
to build homeless shelters
in his spare time?
282
00:12:18,138 --> 00:12:19,840
No, I didn't.
283
00:12:19,907 --> 00:12:22,776
Did you know
his cousin steals wood?
284
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,812
Really?
285
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:26,980
That is fascinating.
286
00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:30,017
Why don't you come on
inside, so we can visit.
287
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:32,085
I'll see you later,
Fernando.
288
00:12:32,152 --> 00:12:34,321
Well, thank you for
your thoughtful soup.
289
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:37,590
It nourishes my body as
your beauty nourishes my soul.
290
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:38,859
(passionate shudder)
291
00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:44,697
Find something to saw.
292
00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:47,801
So, Chloe, what's new?
293
00:12:47,868 --> 00:12:49,736
Huh? Oh, nothing.
294
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,940
What is he, like, Colombian?
295
00:12:53,006 --> 00:12:54,641
I don't know.
296
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:57,110
But I gotta tell you, I do
feel much better seeing you.
297
00:12:57,177 --> 00:13:01,314
God, it's like his eyes are
looking inside your soul.
298
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:02,749
(passionate sigh)
299
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:05,318
Yeah, kinda creepy.
300
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:08,688
The way he speaks,
it's so romantic.
301
00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:13,360
Hey, I almost forgot.
302
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:15,162
I wrote you a song.
303
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,064
Really?
304
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,765
Well, Chloe, you've been
on my mind a lot,
305
00:13:18,832 --> 00:13:20,868
and I wanted to find a way
to express my feelings.
306
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:22,135
What's it called?
307
00:13:22,202 --> 00:13:23,803
Uh...
308
00:13:23,871 --> 00:13:25,973
"Chloe's Song."
309
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,409
I haven't put any words
to it yet,
310
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:30,878
but it goes something
like this.
311
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:37,150
(playing
"You Are So Beautiful to Me"
312
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:45,993
FERNANDO:
* Can't you see?
313
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:49,829
* You're everything
I hope for *
314
00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:52,699
* You're everything I need...
315
00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:59,806
* You are so
beautiful... *
316
00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:04,411
* To me.
317
00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:05,946
(passionate sigh)
318
00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:08,916
You should use those words.
319
00:14:15,956 --> 00:14:17,891
* Men.
320
00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:19,226
Thanks again
for stopping by.
321
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:20,760
Yeah, I'm glad you're
feeling better.
322
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:22,329
So when am I gonna
see you again?
323
00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:23,296
Soon.
324
00:14:23,363 --> 00:14:24,731
How soon?
325
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:26,266
I'll call you.
326
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:27,800
Bye, Fernando.
327
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,802
Hasta luego, Señorita.
328
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,871
(breathlessly):
Oh, God...
329
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,209
Call me.
330
00:14:39,346 --> 00:14:41,915
You have a beautiful lady,
Señor Harper.
331
00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:43,783
Thank you.
332
00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:45,885
She must make
you feel...
333
00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:47,887
how do you say...
334
00:14:47,955 --> 00:14:50,057
young again?
335
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:55,262
Yeah.
336
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:58,098
That's what I'm feeling.
337
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:01,501
Oh! Hey, listen, Charlie,
I was thinking--
338
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,003
after Fernando's done
with the deck,
339
00:15:03,070 --> 00:15:05,005
he could patch that hole
in the roof
340
00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:06,739
where the squirrels get in.
341
00:15:06,806 --> 00:15:07,740
I don't think so.
342
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:08,841
Why not?
343
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,310
I like squirrels.
344
00:15:12,212 --> 00:15:13,913
Hey, me too.
345
00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:17,117
But they get into
the crawl space,
346
00:15:17,184 --> 00:15:18,485
where they breed and die.
347
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:20,820
That's what I like
about 'em, Alan.
348
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:25,058
I like their little hands.
349
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:27,360
Come on, Charlie,
all Fernando would have to do--
350
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:29,829
Forget Fernando.
351
00:15:29,896 --> 00:15:31,831
I'm having second thoughts about
him even finishing the deck.
352
00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:33,866
What, you want to fire him?
353
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,535
I don't want to...
354
00:15:35,602 --> 00:15:37,904
I just don't think his
work is very professional.
355
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:39,906
I mean,
he's wasting a lot of wood.
356
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:42,275
And you know, wood doesn't
just grow on tree...
357
00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:44,077
He's gotta go.
358
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,845
Charlie, you're not
fooling anybody.
359
00:15:45,912 --> 00:15:46,846
You're jealous.
360
00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:48,181
Jealous?!
361
00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:49,849
You know what's cooler
than squirrels?
362
00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:52,852
Anteaters.
They're just crazy-lookin'.
363
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,223
I'm not jealous.
364
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,791
And their name tells you
what to feed 'em.
365
00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:02,929
Why would you say I'm jealous?
366
00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:05,232
I'm an omnivore.
That means I eat anything.
367
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:06,966
Yeah, we've noticed.
Now shut up.
368
00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:09,536
I'm not jealous.
369
00:16:09,602 --> 00:16:11,371
Charlie, you want
to fire this guy
370
00:16:11,438 --> 00:16:13,040
just because he's younger
and better-looking than you.
371
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:14,241
And he can sing.
372
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:16,409
This has nothing to do
with that.
373
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:17,844
And I can sing too.
374
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:19,846
Yeah, but you stink.
375
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:21,914
(knocking)
376
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,183
Hey, I'm done for the day.
377
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:24,451
I'll see you in the morning?
378
00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:25,952
Hold on, Fernando.
379
00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:27,954
I want to talk to you.
380
00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:29,856
Yes?
381
00:16:31,891 --> 00:16:33,293
Never mind.
Good night.
382
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:34,961
Is there a problem?
383
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:38,131
Because I want everything
to be perfect for you.
384
00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:40,133
You're a good man
and I respect you.
385
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,135
You remind me
of my sainted father.
386
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,938
Thank you.
387
00:16:46,005 --> 00:16:49,909
He was wise and strong until
syphilis made him crazy.
388
00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:54,181
Again, thanks.
389
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:55,282
Good night.
390
00:16:55,348 --> 00:16:56,883
Buenas noches.
391
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,489
I thought you were
gonna get rid of him.
392
00:17:02,555 --> 00:17:05,992
Or did you go crazy there
for a second?
393
00:17:06,059 --> 00:17:08,895
I don't know,
I just...
394
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:10,397
I just couldn't.
Yeah,
395
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:12,165
I think it's his eyes.
396
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:14,000
It's like they're looking
right into my soul.
397
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,468
That's what Mom said.
398
00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:19,572
Women used to say that
about my eyes.
399
00:17:19,639 --> 00:17:21,874
Really?
400
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:24,277
'Cause now they're kind of milky
and bloodshot.
401
00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:27,380
Actually, the one on the right
402
00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:28,615
is starting to look
a little lazy.
403
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:31,651
You know, you're right.
404
00:17:31,718 --> 00:17:34,221
Okay, okay, that's enough.
405
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:35,622
Come on, Charlie,
you can't expect
406
00:17:35,688 --> 00:17:37,290
to compete with a guy
half your age.
407
00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:39,092
I am not competing.
408
00:17:39,159 --> 00:17:41,428
Well, you shouldn't,
because it's perfectly natural.
409
00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:44,597
Each generation passes the torch
on to the next.
410
00:17:44,664 --> 00:17:46,533
The child becomes the hunter,
411
00:17:46,599 --> 00:17:49,068
the hunter becomes
the revered elder.
412
00:17:49,136 --> 00:17:51,404
When you're too old
to chase the buffalo,
413
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:55,908
it's time to stay back with the
old women and make necklaces.
414
00:17:57,210 --> 00:17:58,411
Necklaces?
415
00:17:58,478 --> 00:18:00,947
Or weave blankets,
tend the fire,
416
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:03,616
teach the kids to whittle...
417
00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:06,953
Buffaloes are cool, too.
418
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:08,621
They're like bad-ass cows.
419
00:18:09,756 --> 00:18:12,592
* Men.
420
00:18:12,659 --> 00:18:14,461
(doorbell rings)
421
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:21,301
Charlie...?
422
00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:22,469
Yeah, hi.
423
00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:24,137
I was just
in the neighborhood,
424
00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:26,973
and I thought I'd drop off
your soup thermos.
425
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:28,475
Thanks.
426
00:18:28,541 --> 00:18:30,577
What did you do to yourself?
427
00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:32,345
Me? Nothing, nothing.
428
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:35,081
I was just doing a little work
outdoors, got some sun.
429
00:18:35,148 --> 00:18:36,583
Oh.
430
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:38,618
What's up with your teeth?
431
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:43,323
Oh, I just brushed 'em
real good.
432
00:18:43,390 --> 00:18:44,957
So, can I come in?
433
00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:47,960
Oh, gee, Charlie, I really...
434
00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:48,995
wish you would've called.
435
00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:49,996
Oh...
436
00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:52,131
Señor Harper...
437
00:18:56,769 --> 00:18:58,571
I was, how do you say...
438
00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:00,673
About to sleep
with my girlfriend?
439
00:19:00,740 --> 00:19:03,109
Okay, "about to."
440
00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:09,582
I am so sorry.
441
00:19:09,649 --> 00:19:11,384
I would understand
if you fired me.
442
00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:17,757
Hey, it's no big deal, pal.
443
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:20,727
This is the natural course
of events.
444
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,094
You're the next generation:
445
00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,364
young, vibrant, good-looking,
446
00:19:24,431 --> 00:19:26,599
you can buy Chloe
expensive jewelry...
447
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:28,501
I cannot buy her
expensive jewelry.
448
00:19:28,568 --> 00:19:32,104
Oh, right, that's me.
449
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:35,007
What do you say, Chloe--
want to go shopping?
450
00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:37,009
I'll go get my purse.
451
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:43,483
And yeah, you're fired.
452
00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:45,385
* Men.
453
00:19:48,888 --> 00:19:52,325
* Men.
454
00:19:52,392 --> 00:19:55,228
Charlie, when are you
coming back to bed?
455
00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:56,396
Soon.
456
00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,130
How soon?
(giggles)
457
00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,666
I'll be right up, baby.
458
00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:08,441
Okay... let me see if
I got this right.
459
00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:11,778
You bought diamonds for
the girl you were
trying to get rid of
460
00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:14,614
in order to win her from
the handyman you fired.
461
00:20:14,681 --> 00:20:17,417
I'm sensing
some judgement here.
462
00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:21,288
You're very astute.
463
00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:25,325
Okay, first of all,
I got Fernando another job.
464
00:20:25,392 --> 00:20:29,796
But the most important thing
to remember is, I won.
465
00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:31,731
You're a lecherous old guy
466
00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:34,767
who bought a young woman's
affection with shiny baubles.
467
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:36,669
True.
468
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,538
But I won.
469
00:20:41,641 --> 00:20:43,843
(heavy sigh)
470
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,812
Are you sure
we cannot open up a window?
471
00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:47,747
No, I like it hot.
472
00:20:53,586 --> 00:20:58,157
Okay, well, time for the victor
to reap the spoils.
473
00:20:58,224 --> 00:21:00,827
Oh, Charlie,
aren't you ashamed?
474
00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:04,664
Alan, you know the difference
between you and me?
475
00:21:06,566 --> 00:21:07,500
(thud)
476
00:21:16,709 --> 00:21:22,382
Yeah, I wouldn't fire the
handyman before he finishes.
477
00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:24,417
Hey, I can see your teeth
from up here.
32318
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