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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,828 --> 00:00:07,928 Narrator: Coming up, what's 2 00:00:07,929 --> 00:00:10,731 got sal all wound up? 3 00:00:10,732 --> 00:00:12,866 What the hell is going on?! 4 00:00:12,867 --> 00:00:14,702 Why is Joe oversharing? 5 00:00:14,703 --> 00:00:15,803 I have a wife and 6 00:00:15,804 --> 00:00:17,305 bichon frise who spend money 7 00:00:17,306 --> 00:00:18,706 like it's coming out of my 8 00:00:18,707 --> 00:00:19,808 metaphorical wiener. 9 00:00:22,043 --> 00:00:23,411 Narrator: And which joker 10 00:00:23,412 --> 00:00:24,512 can't escape tonight's 11 00:00:24,513 --> 00:00:25,513 punishment? 12 00:00:27,416 --> 00:00:28,916 Aah! 13 00:00:28,917 --> 00:00:30,118 Prepare for something 14 00:00:30,119 --> 00:00:31,352 amazing. 15 00:00:31,353 --> 00:00:32,554 Hey, mustache, what's up? 16 00:00:34,223 --> 00:00:35,957 I want my mommy! 17 00:00:37,526 --> 00:00:40,328 I will never forgive you! 18 00:00:40,329 --> 00:00:41,830 Larry! 19 00:00:47,136 --> 00:00:48,802 We are at Sam ash giving 20 00:00:48,803 --> 00:00:50,471 music lessons to students. 21 00:00:50,472 --> 00:00:51,839 Aside from the fact that we 22 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:53,141 have no musical ability, we 23 00:00:53,142 --> 00:00:54,608 won't know what instrument we're 24 00:00:54,609 --> 00:00:55,976 teaching until they walk in. 25 00:00:55,977 --> 00:00:57,145 And to make things worse, 26 00:00:57,146 --> 00:00:58,346 we've recorded a secret song for 27 00:00:58,347 --> 00:00:59,347 each other that we'll be forced 28 00:00:59,348 --> 00:01:00,948 to play during the lesson. 29 00:01:00,949 --> 00:01:01,850 The goal is to get your 30 00:01:01,850 --> 00:01:02,817 student to sign up for another 31 00:01:02,817 --> 00:01:03,218 lesson. 32 00:01:03,219 --> 00:01:04,252 If you can't get them to sign 33 00:01:04,253 --> 00:01:05,319 up, you lose. 34 00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:06,720 Narrator: It's the jokers in 35 00:01:06,721 --> 00:01:08,689 a double down challenge. 36 00:01:08,690 --> 00:01:09,158 Hi. 37 00:01:09,159 --> 00:01:10,159 How are you? 38 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:11,559 You're here for your guitar 39 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:12,161 lesson. 40 00:01:12,162 --> 00:01:14,162 Electri guitar. 41 00:01:14,163 --> 00:01:15,696 Have you done, like, any 42 00:01:15,697 --> 00:01:16,331 chords? 43 00:01:16,331 --> 00:01:17,166 You do that? 44 00:01:17,167 --> 00:01:18,599 Okay, so... 45 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:20,168 Joe, from this point forward, 46 00:01:20,169 --> 00:01:21,435 just refer to the guitar like 47 00:01:21,436 --> 00:01:22,704 it's a piano. 48 00:01:27,476 --> 00:01:28,576 So you've never played piano 49 00:01:28,577 --> 00:01:29,811 before. 50 00:01:30,345 --> 00:01:31,379 You want to make sure you 51 00:01:31,380 --> 00:01:32,413 don't touch any of the black 52 00:01:32,414 --> 00:01:33,414 keys in the middle. 53 00:01:35,184 --> 00:01:36,184 The piano... those ebonies and 54 00:01:36,185 --> 00:01:36,551 ivories. 55 00:01:36,551 --> 00:01:37,519 You never heard that before? 56 00:01:37,520 --> 00:01:39,520 Yeah, but this is a guitar. 57 00:01:39,521 --> 00:01:42,191 Oh, you're here for guitar. 58 00:01:43,325 --> 00:01:44,592 What? 59 00:01:44,593 --> 00:01:45,859 I've been teaching you piano 60 00:01:45,860 --> 00:01:48,028 on the guitar. 61 00:01:48,029 --> 00:01:49,198 That makes more sense, yeah. 62 00:01:53,101 --> 00:01:54,535 Hey, buddy, hit play on the 63 00:01:54,536 --> 00:01:55,470 boom box over there. 64 00:01:55,471 --> 00:01:56,670 In this boom box here, I have 65 00:01:56,671 --> 00:01:57,506 a copy of my hit song. 66 00:01:57,507 --> 00:01:58,507 I'd like you to hear it real 67 00:01:58,508 --> 00:01:59,673 quick, and you can just give me 68 00:01:59,674 --> 00:02:02,311 some honest feedback on it. 69 00:02:03,345 --> 00:02:04,878 ♪ Death, destruction 70 00:02:04,879 --> 00:02:06,314 ♪ diarrhea 71 00:02:06,315 --> 00:02:08,282 ♪ north and South Korea 72 00:02:08,283 --> 00:02:10,218 ♪ poo-poo 73 00:02:10,219 --> 00:02:11,352 ♪ poo-poo 74 00:02:11,353 --> 00:02:12,221 ♪ murder 75 00:02:12,222 --> 00:02:14,121 ♪ death and constipation 76 00:02:14,122 --> 00:02:16,123 ♪ all the western nations 77 00:02:16,124 --> 00:02:18,126 ♪ bathroom time frustration 78 00:02:20,929 --> 00:02:22,430 so, let's get back to our 79 00:02:22,431 --> 00:02:24,599 lesson. 80 00:02:27,269 --> 00:02:28,469 "What the" 81 00:02:28,470 --> 00:02:29,803 did you want to sign up for a 82 00:02:29,804 --> 00:02:31,339 follow-up class, or...? 83 00:02:31,340 --> 00:02:32,040 It's okay. 84 00:02:32,041 --> 00:02:33,242 It's okay? Yeah. 85 00:02:34,243 --> 00:02:35,343 Well, my new single's coming 86 00:02:35,344 --> 00:02:35,744 out. 87 00:02:35,745 --> 00:02:37,011 It's called "thumbs down." 88 00:02:38,046 --> 00:02:38,447 Hey. 89 00:02:38,447 --> 00:02:38,947 Hey, what's up? 90 00:02:38,948 --> 00:02:39,948 What's up? How you doing? 91 00:02:39,948 --> 00:02:40,782 What's your name? 92 00:02:40,783 --> 00:02:42,883 Hey, Joe, what's going on? 93 00:02:42,884 --> 00:02:44,785 Drums! 94 00:02:44,786 --> 00:02:45,986 I'm actually in a band right 95 00:02:45,987 --> 00:02:46,421 now. 96 00:02:46,422 --> 00:02:47,788 I'm in a band right now. 97 00:02:47,789 --> 00:02:48,789 Buddy, we got a song for you 98 00:02:48,790 --> 00:02:49,291 to play. 99 00:02:49,292 --> 00:02:50,524 Before we start, I got to 100 00:02:50,525 --> 00:02:52,693 play you a song. 101 00:02:52,694 --> 00:02:55,263 ♪ I'm a sensitive guy 102 00:02:55,264 --> 00:02:57,365 ♪ with too much pride 103 00:02:57,366 --> 00:02:59,368 ♪ I'm a sensitive guy 104 00:03:00,735 --> 00:03:03,804 ♪ who loves a good cry 105 00:03:03,805 --> 00:03:05,706 ♪ just 'cause I'm a guy 106 00:03:05,707 --> 00:03:08,809 ♪ doesn't mean I don't cry 107 00:03:08,810 --> 00:03:10,878 ♪ I'll cry in front of you 108 00:03:10,879 --> 00:03:13,281 ♪ I'll cry on the moon 109 00:03:13,282 --> 00:03:15,283 ♪ cows say moo 110 00:03:15,284 --> 00:03:17,285 ♪ I cry with my shoes 111 00:03:17,286 --> 00:03:18,286 ♪ ah-choo 112 00:03:18,287 --> 00:03:19,420 ♪ god bless you 113 00:03:19,421 --> 00:03:21,054 ♪ let's cry 114 00:03:21,055 --> 00:03:22,791 I'm delicate. 115 00:03:26,295 --> 00:03:27,395 "So, let me show you how to 116 00:03:27,396 --> 00:03:28,529 play," and just use your whole 117 00:03:28,530 --> 00:03:29,630 arms and go up and down, sal, 118 00:03:29,631 --> 00:03:31,599 and beat the drum. 119 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:35,103 Let me show you how to play. 120 00:03:50,051 --> 00:03:51,084 This guy's doing great on 121 00:03:51,085 --> 00:03:51,520 drums. 122 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:51,986 Sure is. 123 00:03:51,987 --> 00:03:54,956 Sally, just slam that cymbal. 124 00:03:58,660 --> 00:03:59,628 Good. 125 00:03:59,629 --> 00:04:01,061 Sal, have a cymbal face-off 126 00:04:01,062 --> 00:04:02,063 with this guy. 127 00:04:02,864 --> 00:04:04,064 Just keep smacking it and 128 00:04:04,065 --> 00:04:09,036 looking him right in the eye. 129 00:04:09,037 --> 00:04:09,738 Stare at him. 130 00:04:09,739 --> 00:04:11,606 Stare at him. 131 00:04:14,343 --> 00:04:15,677 Oh, man. 132 00:04:22,183 --> 00:04:23,451 It's a standoff. 133 00:04:23,452 --> 00:04:25,887 Wind it up, wind it up! 134 00:04:39,167 --> 00:04:40,101 Sal wins! 135 00:04:40,101 --> 00:04:40,835 Sal wins! 136 00:04:40,835 --> 00:04:41,370 Wow. 137 00:04:41,371 --> 00:04:42,936 Would you think that you'd be 138 00:04:42,937 --> 00:04:44,204 interested to sign up for 139 00:04:44,205 --> 00:04:46,140 further lessons? 140 00:04:48,377 --> 00:04:49,543 He got him! 141 00:04:49,544 --> 00:04:50,544 Band. 142 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:53,381 This guy's serious about his 143 00:04:53,382 --> 00:04:54,415 ukulele. 144 00:04:54,416 --> 00:04:56,016 Oh, my god. 145 00:04:56,017 --> 00:04:57,117 The ukulele. 146 00:04:57,118 --> 00:04:59,553 The old uke. 147 00:04:59,554 --> 00:05:00,588 "Well, here's a fun fact 148 00:05:00,589 --> 00:05:01,390 about the ukulele." 149 00:05:01,391 --> 00:05:02,490 Well, here's a fun fact about 150 00:05:02,491 --> 00:05:02,991 the ukulele. 151 00:05:02,992 --> 00:05:04,925 "I'm lonely." 152 00:05:04,926 --> 00:05:07,596 I'm lonely. 153 00:05:09,731 --> 00:05:10,798 "So, let's see... how's your 154 00:05:10,799 --> 00:05:11,400 rhythm?" 155 00:05:11,401 --> 00:05:12,401 Let's check your rhythm 156 00:05:12,401 --> 00:05:12,801 first. 157 00:05:12,802 --> 00:05:13,802 Put your ukuleles down. 158 00:05:13,803 --> 00:05:14,803 Let's... put our ukuleles 159 00:05:14,803 --> 00:05:15,269 down. 160 00:05:15,270 --> 00:05:16,404 "Now let's just clap to the 161 00:05:16,405 --> 00:05:16,805 rhythm." 162 00:05:16,806 --> 00:05:17,938 And just... just clap to the 163 00:05:17,939 --> 00:05:18,573 rhythm with me. 164 00:05:18,574 --> 00:05:21,208 Clap as girly as you can. 165 00:05:21,209 --> 00:05:23,444 1, 2, 1, 2. 166 00:05:23,445 --> 00:05:24,546 1, 2, 1, 2. 167 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:26,980 What the hell?! 168 00:05:26,981 --> 00:05:29,183 1, 2, 3! 1, 2, 3! 169 00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:32,285 Okay, you're doing great. 170 00:05:32,286 --> 00:05:33,421 Let's listen to your demo, 171 00:05:33,422 --> 00:05:33,822 buddy. 172 00:05:33,823 --> 00:05:34,855 This is my demo. 173 00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:37,492 Okay. 174 00:05:39,928 --> 00:05:42,663 ♪ Music is everywhere around 175 00:05:42,664 --> 00:05:44,131 you ♪ 176 00:05:44,132 --> 00:05:46,266 ♪ just tiny cigarettes in a 177 00:05:46,267 --> 00:05:48,436 suit ♪ 178 00:05:48,437 --> 00:05:50,438 ♪ football, porno, duck sauce, 179 00:05:50,439 --> 00:05:52,906 and popcorn ♪ 180 00:05:52,907 --> 00:05:54,307 I was born with both set of 181 00:05:54,308 --> 00:05:56,143 genitalia. 182 00:05:56,144 --> 00:05:57,512 Help me. 183 00:06:00,482 --> 00:06:02,450 "Help me." 184 00:06:02,451 --> 00:06:03,451 I wrote that song. 185 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:06,854 Do you think, based on how this 186 00:06:06,855 --> 00:06:08,055 is going, do you think you'd 187 00:06:08,056 --> 00:06:09,122 like to sign up for another 188 00:06:09,123 --> 00:06:11,760 ukulele lesson with me? 189 00:06:14,563 --> 00:06:16,196 Here she comes. 190 00:06:16,197 --> 00:06:17,732 Oh, no! 191 00:06:18,933 --> 00:06:20,100 Oh 192 00:06:20,101 --> 00:06:22,470 The old stand-up bass! 193 00:06:22,471 --> 00:06:24,638 Let me, uh... Get my stand-up 194 00:06:24,639 --> 00:06:25,873 bass. 195 00:06:25,874 --> 00:06:27,207 I sure had a... 196 00:06:27,208 --> 00:06:28,208 He doesn't even know hot to 197 00:06:28,209 --> 00:06:29,209 take it off the stand! 198 00:06:30,311 --> 00:06:31,312 Oh 199 00:06:32,346 --> 00:06:33,481 Have you ever played the 200 00:06:33,482 --> 00:06:35,649 stand-up bass before? 201 00:06:35,650 --> 00:06:37,919 Um... it's like a big violin. 202 00:06:39,087 --> 00:06:40,054 "Have you ever played violin 203 00:06:40,055 --> 00:06:41,088 before?" 204 00:06:41,089 --> 00:06:42,089 Have you ever played the 205 00:06:42,090 --> 00:06:44,357 violin before? 206 00:06:44,358 --> 00:06:45,726 A violin is like a small 207 00:06:45,727 --> 00:06:46,761 stand-up bass. 208 00:06:48,997 --> 00:06:49,964 Like a guitar, you go the 209 00:06:49,964 --> 00:06:50,765 opposite ways, right? 210 00:06:50,766 --> 00:06:51,899 And you can hear the different 211 00:06:51,900 --> 00:06:52,734 sounds as you go down. 212 00:06:52,735 --> 00:06:53,901 "I promised myself I'd never 213 00:06:53,902 --> 00:06:55,022 fall for a student again..." 214 00:06:56,004 --> 00:06:57,505 I promised myself that I 215 00:06:57,506 --> 00:06:59,239 would never fall for a student 216 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:00,008 again. 217 00:07:00,009 --> 00:07:01,241 "Then you walked in." 218 00:07:01,242 --> 00:07:09,242 Ho. 219 00:07:09,818 --> 00:07:11,319 And then you walked in. 220 00:07:12,286 --> 00:07:13,521 Oh, god. 221 00:07:13,522 --> 00:07:14,622 And here we are. 222 00:07:14,623 --> 00:07:15,590 "I might be playing the 223 00:07:15,590 --> 00:07:16,024 strings..." 224 00:07:16,024 --> 00:07:16,791 I might be playing the 225 00:07:16,791 --> 00:07:17,291 strings... 226 00:07:17,291 --> 00:07:18,259 "but you're pulling the 227 00:07:18,259 --> 00:07:19,259 strings of my heart." 228 00:07:20,929 --> 00:07:23,063 but you... Are pulling the 229 00:07:23,064 --> 00:07:24,432 strings of my heart. 230 00:07:26,868 --> 00:07:28,135 Why don't we show her your 231 00:07:28,136 --> 00:07:28,937 demo? 232 00:07:28,938 --> 00:07:31,539 I actually have a demo. 233 00:07:31,540 --> 00:07:33,274 Me playing the stand-up bass... 234 00:07:33,307 --> 00:07:34,308 So you can hear it. 235 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,549 ♪ Doo-be doo bop, Dee ba 236 00:07:41,550 --> 00:07:44,184 ♪ ao-o-ga 237 00:07:44,185 --> 00:07:45,086 ♪ boo-ba-de da 238 00:07:45,086 --> 00:07:45,854 ♪ Scooby-doo-gop 239 00:07:45,854 --> 00:07:46,555 ♪ doo 240 00:07:46,556 --> 00:07:48,756 ♪ doo-be doo bop, wee da 241 00:07:48,757 --> 00:07:51,458 together: ♪ ao-o-ga 242 00:07:51,459 --> 00:07:52,459 ♪ doo-ba-da da 243 00:07:52,460 --> 00:07:53,394 ♪ doo-ba-da geh 244 00:07:53,394 --> 00:07:54,394 ♪ di di 245 00:07:57,231 --> 00:07:58,199 you heard all the quality 246 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,734 stand-up bass in there, right? 247 00:08:00,735 --> 00:08:01,735 Yeah, s... 248 00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:03,738 So, what do you say? 249 00:08:03,738 --> 00:08:04,706 You want to sign up for another 250 00:08:04,706 --> 00:08:05,106 class? 251 00:08:05,107 --> 00:08:08,709 Don't do it. 252 00:08:08,710 --> 00:08:10,477 All right! 253 00:08:10,478 --> 00:08:11,379 How?! 254 00:08:11,380 --> 00:08:12,746 We made it too fun! 255 00:08:12,747 --> 00:08:13,747 All right. 256 00:08:15,584 --> 00:08:16,650 Narrator: Joe couldn't hit 257 00:08:16,651 --> 00:08:17,718 the right note, so he's on the 258 00:08:17,719 --> 00:08:19,086 loser board. 259 00:08:19,087 --> 00:08:20,487 Hey, hey! 260 00:08:20,488 --> 00:08:21,322 Focus up, america! 261 00:08:21,323 --> 00:08:22,590 Today, one of us will be the 262 00:08:22,591 --> 00:08:23,724 moderator in a focus group... 263 00:08:23,725 --> 00:08:24,725 And the other will be 264 00:08:24,726 --> 00:08:25,826 participating in that same 265 00:08:25,827 --> 00:08:26,294 group. 266 00:08:26,295 --> 00:08:27,295 Now, the participant must 267 00:08:27,296 --> 00:08:28,296 read all the answers on his 268 00:08:28,297 --> 00:08:29,362 survey. 269 00:08:29,363 --> 00:08:30,664 The thing is, his completely 270 00:08:30,665 --> 00:08:32,065 embarrassing answers have been 271 00:08:32,066 --> 00:08:33,166 written by the moderator. 272 00:08:33,167 --> 00:08:34,602 If you can't read every 273 00:08:34,603 --> 00:08:36,003 answer, in its entirety, you 274 00:08:36,004 --> 00:08:37,070 lose. 275 00:08:37,071 --> 00:08:39,973 Shh. Q's really focused. 276 00:08:39,974 --> 00:08:41,208 Narrator: It's murr versus 277 00:08:41,209 --> 00:08:43,210 Joe and q versus sal in a double 278 00:08:43,211 --> 00:08:45,245 showdown. 279 00:08:45,246 --> 00:08:46,446 Murr, the dress code today 280 00:08:46,447 --> 00:08:48,016 was Steven seagal, so good job. 281 00:08:52,086 --> 00:08:53,021 Hi, everyone. 282 00:08:53,022 --> 00:08:54,121 Welcome to focus suites. 283 00:08:54,122 --> 00:08:55,789 Look at this guy. 284 00:08:55,790 --> 00:08:57,691 Joe has got to answer all the 285 00:08:57,692 --> 00:08:59,627 questions that Murray wrote for 286 00:08:59,628 --> 00:09:01,294 him as his own and own those 287 00:09:01,295 --> 00:09:02,196 answers. 288 00:09:02,197 --> 00:09:03,363 So, murr, if Joe answers all 289 00:09:03,364 --> 00:09:05,065 those questions, you lose. 290 00:09:05,066 --> 00:09:06,634 Okay. So, first, Michelle, 291 00:09:06,635 --> 00:09:08,001 where do you get your news 292 00:09:08,002 --> 00:09:08,903 primarily from? 293 00:09:08,904 --> 00:09:10,971 Mostly from social networks. 294 00:09:10,972 --> 00:09:12,472 Social networking. 295 00:09:12,473 --> 00:09:14,041 So online. Okay. 296 00:09:14,042 --> 00:09:15,275 And how would you, Erica? 297 00:09:15,276 --> 00:09:16,777 Yeah, I said Twitter but also 298 00:09:16,778 --> 00:09:17,978 social media in general. 299 00:09:17,979 --> 00:09:19,179 Okay, and, Joe, where do you 300 00:09:19,180 --> 00:09:20,048 get your news from? 301 00:09:20,048 --> 00:09:20,849 Here we go. 302 00:09:20,850 --> 00:09:22,482 I think I ate too much cheese 303 00:09:22,483 --> 00:09:23,483 this morning. 304 00:09:24,953 --> 00:09:26,386 That's what you wrote as the 305 00:09:26,387 --> 00:09:26,855 answer? 306 00:09:26,856 --> 00:09:28,288 Yeah. Uh, re-reading this, I 307 00:09:28,289 --> 00:09:30,424 guess, uh... I misunderstood. 308 00:09:31,893 --> 00:09:33,426 Okay. 309 00:09:33,427 --> 00:09:34,561 How did you get here today? 310 00:09:34,562 --> 00:09:35,063 Michelle? 311 00:09:35,063 --> 00:09:35,563 Train. 312 00:09:35,564 --> 00:09:36,664 You took the subway? 313 00:09:36,665 --> 00:09:37,131 Mm-hmm. 314 00:09:37,131 --> 00:09:37,799 And Alexis. 315 00:09:37,799 --> 00:09:38,667 Subway. 316 00:09:38,668 --> 00:09:39,800 Subway. And, Joe, same 317 00:09:39,801 --> 00:09:40,834 question. 318 00:09:40,835 --> 00:09:42,502 Oh. I took this a little bit 319 00:09:42,503 --> 00:09:44,037 more. 320 00:09:44,038 --> 00:09:45,773 This is all open interpretation, 321 00:09:45,774 --> 00:09:47,174 but I said, "subway," but 322 00:09:47,175 --> 00:09:48,876 originally, I came here from my 323 00:09:48,877 --> 00:09:51,244 mom's Tallahassee, a.K.A. Her 324 00:09:51,245 --> 00:09:52,413 rubber ducky... 325 00:09:54,415 --> 00:09:56,149 a.k.a. Her strawberry 326 00:09:56,150 --> 00:09:57,150 smoothy. 327 00:10:00,889 --> 00:10:01,889 Murr's getting his ass handed 328 00:10:01,890 --> 00:10:03,123 to him. 329 00:10:03,124 --> 00:10:04,491 Does price greatly influence 330 00:10:04,492 --> 00:10:05,625 your choice of technology 331 00:10:05,626 --> 00:10:06,160 purchases? 332 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:07,061 Howie, how about you? 333 00:10:07,062 --> 00:10:08,328 Yeah, for a student, I would 334 00:10:08,329 --> 00:10:08,930 say it does. 335 00:10:08,930 --> 00:10:09,798 It does, for sure. 336 00:10:09,799 --> 00:10:12,099 And, Joe, how about you? 337 00:10:12,100 --> 00:10:14,367 I wrote, uh... 338 00:10:14,368 --> 00:10:16,503 I have a wife and bichon frise 339 00:10:16,504 --> 00:10:18,138 who spend money like it's coming 340 00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:19,139 out of my wiener. 341 00:10:22,911 --> 00:10:24,344 Murray, you got to get Joe 342 00:10:24,345 --> 00:10:24,979 here, man. 343 00:10:24,980 --> 00:10:26,246 He's coming out swinging. 344 00:10:26,247 --> 00:10:26,781 I'm sorry. 345 00:10:26,782 --> 00:10:27,815 What is a bichon frise? 346 00:10:27,816 --> 00:10:28,949 It's a bichon frise. 347 00:10:28,950 --> 00:10:29,918 It's a little puppy. 348 00:10:29,919 --> 00:10:31,251 How does the bichon frise 349 00:10:31,252 --> 00:10:32,886 spend your money? 350 00:10:32,887 --> 00:10:34,788 Oh, the bichon frise eats a 351 00:10:34,789 --> 00:10:37,224 specialty diet, via the wife 352 00:10:37,225 --> 00:10:38,491 spending the money like it's 353 00:10:38,492 --> 00:10:39,793 coming out of my metaphorical 354 00:10:39,794 --> 00:10:41,394 wiener. 355 00:10:41,395 --> 00:10:42,595 Joe really took ownership of 356 00:10:42,596 --> 00:10:43,064 that one. 357 00:10:43,065 --> 00:10:44,297 I feel like there was some truth 358 00:10:44,298 --> 00:10:45,298 there. 359 00:10:46,968 --> 00:10:47,435 Okay. 360 00:10:47,436 --> 00:10:48,568 You better pull out a big 361 00:10:48,569 --> 00:10:49,737 gun, murr, because he has got 362 00:10:49,738 --> 00:10:50,504 you on the ropes. 363 00:10:50,505 --> 00:10:52,172 Final question... Joe, on a 364 00:10:52,173 --> 00:10:53,573 lazy Sunday afternoon, what is 365 00:10:53,574 --> 00:10:55,208 your preferred activity? 366 00:10:55,209 --> 00:10:57,945 Mm. Yeah. 367 00:10:57,946 --> 00:11:00,181 I Dutch oven my cats, mostly. 368 00:11:03,217 --> 00:11:06,754 Look at this guy! 369 00:11:06,755 --> 00:11:08,188 No, I Dutch oven my cats 370 00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:10,291 'cause that's what I said. 371 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:13,393 Joey! 372 00:11:13,394 --> 00:11:14,594 Looks like we've gotten 373 00:11:14,595 --> 00:11:15,764 through every question. 374 00:11:18,599 --> 00:11:19,599 All right, okay. 375 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:20,434 Here we go. 376 00:11:20,435 --> 00:11:22,102 Q is in the driver's seat. 377 00:11:22,103 --> 00:11:25,773 All right, sal. 378 00:11:25,774 --> 00:11:27,174 So, q has written all of 379 00:11:27,175 --> 00:11:28,009 sal's answers. 380 00:11:28,009 --> 00:11:28,576 Yes. 381 00:11:28,576 --> 00:11:29,543 Sal will be reading what q 382 00:11:29,544 --> 00:11:31,078 makes him say. 383 00:11:31,079 --> 00:11:33,280 Okay. We have Steven, right? 384 00:11:33,281 --> 00:11:35,548 Courtney, uh, al... 385 00:11:35,549 --> 00:11:37,317 He called him al! 386 00:11:37,318 --> 00:11:39,052 Sal. Sal. 387 00:11:39,053 --> 00:11:40,420 Sal. 388 00:11:40,421 --> 00:11:41,621 Okay, cool. Sorry. 389 00:11:41,622 --> 00:11:42,490 No problem. 390 00:11:42,491 --> 00:11:43,491 And here we go. 391 00:11:43,492 --> 00:11:45,392 Okay. We'll just start. 392 00:11:45,393 --> 00:11:46,860 Dwayne, do you have a nickname? 393 00:11:46,861 --> 00:11:47,829 No. 394 00:11:47,830 --> 00:11:49,462 No, no nickname. 395 00:11:49,463 --> 00:11:51,131 Uh, okay, al. 396 00:11:51,132 --> 00:11:52,332 Do you have a nickname? 397 00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:52,867 Sal. 398 00:11:52,868 --> 00:11:55,503 Um... bologna cheeks. 399 00:11:58,139 --> 00:11:59,139 Where did you get the 400 00:11:59,140 --> 00:12:00,240 nickname "Bologna cheeks"? 401 00:12:00,241 --> 00:12:01,374 Friends gave it to me. 402 00:12:01,375 --> 00:12:01,810 Yeah. 403 00:12:01,811 --> 00:12:03,043 It's relatively new. 404 00:12:03,044 --> 00:12:04,377 "It's relatively new"! 405 00:12:04,378 --> 00:12:05,445 Stuck, huh? 406 00:12:05,446 --> 00:12:06,981 It better not stick. 407 00:12:08,049 --> 00:12:09,216 You're coming out hot right 408 00:12:09,217 --> 00:12:09,884 away, q. 409 00:12:09,884 --> 00:12:10,584 Uh, okay. 410 00:12:10,585 --> 00:12:11,919 Let me ask you another one. 411 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:13,020 Please, thinking about 412 00:12:13,021 --> 00:12:14,554 smartphones, what comes to mind? 413 00:12:14,555 --> 00:12:15,389 Courtney? 414 00:12:15,390 --> 00:12:17,057 Apps, taking pictures. 415 00:12:17,058 --> 00:12:18,026 Perfect. 416 00:12:18,027 --> 00:12:19,027 That was an excellent answer. 417 00:12:19,028 --> 00:12:20,127 But you know who I think is 418 00:12:20,128 --> 00:12:21,228 gonna have a better answer? 419 00:12:21,229 --> 00:12:21,863 Al? 420 00:12:21,863 --> 00:12:22,696 Al's. 421 00:12:22,697 --> 00:12:23,931 Okay, uh... 422 00:12:23,932 --> 00:12:25,999 Al, think about smartphones. 423 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,134 What comes to mind? 424 00:12:27,135 --> 00:12:29,269 The time that I... 425 00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:32,172 Accidentally sent a naked selfie 426 00:12:32,173 --> 00:12:33,041 to my sister... 427 00:12:33,042 --> 00:12:34,108 Oh, my god. 428 00:12:35,609 --> 00:12:36,743 And then she sent one 429 00:12:36,744 --> 00:12:37,744 back, so... 430 00:12:39,513 --> 00:12:40,713 Great answer! 431 00:12:40,714 --> 00:12:42,582 "And she sent one back"?! 432 00:12:42,583 --> 00:12:43,851 Wait a second. 433 00:12:43,852 --> 00:12:45,986 She sent back a naked... a naked 434 00:12:45,987 --> 00:12:47,354 picture of herself? 435 00:12:47,355 --> 00:12:48,857 He's turning the screws! 436 00:12:50,324 --> 00:12:53,861 We've all been there. 437 00:12:53,862 --> 00:12:54,862 No? 438 00:12:57,398 --> 00:12:58,332 Oof. 439 00:12:58,333 --> 00:12:59,766 Next question. 440 00:12:59,767 --> 00:13:00,868 Steven, you want to start with 441 00:13:00,869 --> 00:13:01,269 it? 442 00:13:01,270 --> 00:13:02,270 What do you do f for fun? 443 00:13:02,271 --> 00:13:03,470 I play basketball in my local 444 00:13:03,471 --> 00:13:04,372 community center. 445 00:13:04,373 --> 00:13:05,505 Okay. 446 00:13:05,506 --> 00:13:07,608 Al? 447 00:13:08,409 --> 00:13:09,210 It's sal. 448 00:13:09,211 --> 00:13:10,677 I thought I said "sal" and 449 00:13:10,678 --> 00:13:11,711 you said it's "al." 450 00:13:11,712 --> 00:13:12,413 No, it's... 451 00:13:12,414 --> 00:13:13,513 It's been sal since I've been 452 00:13:13,514 --> 00:13:14,514 born. 453 00:13:16,484 --> 00:13:18,351 And what do you do for fun? 454 00:13:18,352 --> 00:13:19,887 Uh, I love to paint. 455 00:13:19,888 --> 00:13:20,521 Paint. 456 00:13:20,521 --> 00:13:21,189 Mm-hmm. 457 00:13:21,190 --> 00:13:22,456 What do you paint? 458 00:13:24,225 --> 00:13:26,894 There's more to that answer. 459 00:13:26,895 --> 00:13:29,897 What I wrote here was... 460 00:13:29,898 --> 00:13:32,165 I use acrylic paint... 461 00:13:32,166 --> 00:13:34,535 And a mirror between my legs. 462 00:13:35,303 --> 00:13:36,670 What?! 463 00:13:38,072 --> 00:13:40,373 It's a... it's art, man. 464 00:13:40,374 --> 00:13:41,741 Okay, I'm just not 465 00:13:41,742 --> 00:13:43,210 understanding how it works... 466 00:13:43,211 --> 00:13:44,912 it's art. 467 00:13:44,913 --> 00:13:46,214 It's subjective. 468 00:13:48,049 --> 00:13:48,917 Q is gloating! 469 00:13:48,918 --> 00:13:49,918 Q's got something up his 470 00:13:49,918 --> 00:13:50,418 sleeve. 471 00:13:50,419 --> 00:13:51,784 What are you painting? 472 00:13:51,785 --> 00:13:53,253 I do whatever it takes to, 473 00:13:53,254 --> 00:13:54,654 uh... make art. 474 00:13:54,655 --> 00:13:57,090 Uh, very unclear on what's... 475 00:13:57,091 --> 00:13:58,558 What it means. 476 00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:00,527 Ha! You got to answer, buddy. 477 00:14:00,528 --> 00:14:01,761 I guess I... I don't know. 478 00:14:01,762 --> 00:14:03,596 Maybe I... 479 00:14:03,597 --> 00:14:04,632 Taint paint. 480 00:14:08,002 --> 00:14:09,202 All right, well, follow-up 481 00:14:09,203 --> 00:14:10,803 question for you, then? 482 00:14:10,804 --> 00:14:12,105 And I promise it'll be the last 483 00:14:12,106 --> 00:14:12,640 one. 484 00:14:12,641 --> 00:14:14,942 It all comes down to this. 485 00:14:14,943 --> 00:14:17,344 On a lazy afternoon, what's 486 00:14:17,345 --> 00:14:19,047 your preferred activity? 487 00:14:22,616 --> 00:14:25,385 Well, it depends. 488 00:14:25,386 --> 00:14:27,554 He's blowing... 489 00:14:27,555 --> 00:14:29,590 If there's a girl... 490 00:14:31,525 --> 00:14:32,993 He's pointing the guns at 491 00:14:32,994 --> 00:14:33,994 him! 492 00:14:35,563 --> 00:14:37,264 If there's a girl with me... 493 00:14:37,265 --> 00:14:38,999 Right. 494 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,968 Oh! It's a Mexican standoff! 495 00:14:40,969 --> 00:14:42,002 Sal's got a gun! 496 00:14:42,003 --> 00:14:43,236 A Mexican standoff! 497 00:14:43,237 --> 00:14:45,072 I like to be, uh... 498 00:14:45,073 --> 00:14:46,540 Lazy all over her. 499 00:14:47,976 --> 00:14:48,976 Let me know if you don't 500 00:14:48,977 --> 00:14:52,013 get it. 501 00:14:54,882 --> 00:14:56,783 Oh! He does it! 502 00:14:56,784 --> 00:14:57,986 We're all done here. 503 00:14:58,319 --> 00:15:00,187 Oh, too bad, q. 504 00:15:00,188 --> 00:15:01,654 Narrator: Even after all of 505 00:15:01,655 --> 00:15:03,090 that, Joe remains tonight's big 506 00:15:03,091 --> 00:15:06,693 loser. 507 00:15:06,694 --> 00:15:07,395 Joe! 508 00:15:07,396 --> 00:15:09,329 Aren't punishments magical? 509 00:15:09,330 --> 00:15:10,363 Super-magical. 510 00:15:10,364 --> 00:15:12,132 Tonight, at the borgata hotel 511 00:15:12,133 --> 00:15:13,800 casino & spa, the great nozini 512 00:15:13,801 --> 00:15:15,435 is gonna dazzle a packed house 513 00:15:15,436 --> 00:15:16,869 with a night of magic and 514 00:15:16,870 --> 00:15:17,771 illusion. 515 00:15:17,772 --> 00:15:19,206 We've billed you as a 516 00:15:19,207 --> 00:15:20,773 world-famous escape artist. 517 00:15:20,774 --> 00:15:22,075 You got to go in there and 518 00:15:22,076 --> 00:15:23,076 thrill the audience. 519 00:15:23,077 --> 00:15:24,312 Good punishment, boys. 520 00:15:32,453 --> 00:15:33,886 This is a packed crowd. 521 00:15:33,887 --> 00:15:35,055 We're at the borgata. 522 00:15:35,056 --> 00:15:36,056 They don't put up half-assed 523 00:15:36,057 --> 00:15:36,724 shows. 524 00:15:36,725 --> 00:15:38,725 They're gonna expect the most 525 00:15:38,726 --> 00:15:40,127 amazing magic ever. 526 00:15:40,128 --> 00:15:42,562 Ladies and gentlemen, the 527 00:15:42,563 --> 00:15:45,132 time has come to lay your eyes 528 00:15:45,133 --> 00:15:47,767 upon the greatest escape artist 529 00:15:47,768 --> 00:15:49,536 of our time. 530 00:15:49,537 --> 00:15:51,604 Oh, yeah! 531 00:15:51,605 --> 00:15:53,907 Joe gatto! 532 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:01,848 Good evening, and welcome to 533 00:16:01,849 --> 00:16:03,883 a night of magic and illusion. 534 00:16:03,884 --> 00:16:05,085 I am an escape artist, and 535 00:16:05,086 --> 00:16:06,286 that's what I'll be doing. 536 00:16:06,287 --> 00:16:08,355 I'll be escaping... 537 00:16:08,356 --> 00:16:10,057 Before your very eyes. 538 00:16:10,058 --> 00:16:12,559 I hope you are ready to be 539 00:16:12,560 --> 00:16:14,895 amazed. 540 00:16:18,299 --> 00:16:19,699 So, let's get on with the 541 00:16:19,700 --> 00:16:21,068 escaping. 542 00:16:21,069 --> 00:16:23,636 A straightjacket will be put on 543 00:16:23,637 --> 00:16:24,105 me. 544 00:16:24,106 --> 00:16:25,238 How do you like that, bud? 545 00:16:25,239 --> 00:16:26,539 You're gonna have to get out of 546 00:16:26,540 --> 00:16:27,740 a straightjacket. 547 00:16:27,741 --> 00:16:29,409 Straightjackets are known for 548 00:16:29,410 --> 00:16:30,977 being hard to get out of... some 549 00:16:30,978 --> 00:16:32,145 would say impossible. 550 00:16:32,146 --> 00:16:34,281 To that, I say... 551 00:16:34,282 --> 00:16:35,649 Wait and see. 552 00:16:38,086 --> 00:16:40,587 I will now escape from this 553 00:16:40,588 --> 00:16:41,754 straightjacket. 554 00:16:41,755 --> 00:16:42,822 Wait a minute. 555 00:16:42,823 --> 00:16:44,557 Wait a minute, wait a minute! 556 00:16:44,558 --> 00:16:47,360 But that's not all. 557 00:16:47,361 --> 00:16:49,762 I will be bound in steel chains 558 00:16:49,763 --> 00:16:51,998 and rope around my ankles. 559 00:16:51,999 --> 00:16:53,666 Thank you, ladies. 560 00:16:53,667 --> 00:16:56,303 So, now I have a straightjacket, 561 00:16:56,304 --> 00:16:59,005 steel chains, and rope around my 562 00:16:59,006 --> 00:17:00,740 legs. 563 00:17:00,741 --> 00:17:02,375 And I will now escape before 564 00:17:02,376 --> 00:17:03,843 your very eyes. 565 00:17:03,844 --> 00:17:06,113 Wait. There's more. 566 00:17:06,114 --> 00:17:09,149 What? 567 00:17:09,150 --> 00:17:10,150 What the...? 568 00:17:13,121 --> 00:17:15,588 Not before i'm... 569 00:17:15,589 --> 00:17:17,357 Lowered into... 570 00:17:17,358 --> 00:17:18,259 Oh! 571 00:17:18,260 --> 00:17:21,195 This... chamber of water. 572 00:17:24,432 --> 00:17:25,799 I love you guys. 573 00:17:27,768 --> 00:17:29,302 Lowered into the chamber of 574 00:17:29,303 --> 00:17:32,472 water to up the ante. 575 00:17:32,473 --> 00:17:33,407 Hey, Joe! 576 00:17:33,408 --> 00:17:35,343 You! 577 00:17:44,285 --> 00:17:46,018 I'm pretty sure this is how many 578 00:17:46,019 --> 00:17:47,921 escape artists have died. 579 00:17:59,167 --> 00:18:00,800 Hey, Joe, how do you feel? 580 00:18:00,801 --> 00:18:01,435 Great? 581 00:18:01,436 --> 00:18:03,170 Oh, that's cold. 582 00:18:03,171 --> 00:18:04,604 Oh, what's going through his 583 00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:05,706 mind right now. 584 00:18:15,216 --> 00:18:16,850 I will now escape. 585 00:18:21,722 --> 00:18:25,858 Oh, my god. 586 00:18:25,859 --> 00:18:27,094 Any moment now. 587 00:18:30,198 --> 00:18:31,632 Any moment now! 588 00:18:33,234 --> 00:18:34,567 Oh, oh, wait! 589 00:18:34,568 --> 00:18:35,635 What? 590 00:18:35,636 --> 00:18:36,636 Nope. 591 00:18:38,506 --> 00:18:40,006 This is taking a bit longer than 592 00:18:40,007 --> 00:18:41,208 I expected. 593 00:18:41,209 --> 00:18:42,375 They really did a number with 594 00:18:42,376 --> 00:18:44,812 this straightjacket. 595 00:18:49,383 --> 00:18:52,552 These chains are a 596 00:18:52,553 --> 00:18:54,255 I mean, is there a... 597 00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:03,863 Well, at this point, this is 598 00:19:03,864 --> 00:19:04,265 useless. 599 00:19:04,265 --> 00:19:04,898 I'm sorry. 600 00:19:04,899 --> 00:19:06,132 He's apologizing! 601 00:19:06,133 --> 00:19:07,367 Joe thought that being 602 00:19:07,368 --> 00:19:08,735 embarrassed by not escaping 603 00:19:08,736 --> 00:19:09,936 would be the punishment. 604 00:19:09,937 --> 00:19:10,404 No. 605 00:19:10,405 --> 00:19:11,871 That wasn't the punishment! 606 00:19:11,872 --> 00:19:14,141 This part is the punishment! 607 00:19:28,121 --> 00:19:29,722 There's just silence. 608 00:19:29,723 --> 00:19:31,258 He's just staring at them like 609 00:19:31,259 --> 00:19:33,860 he's a zoo animal. 610 00:19:33,861 --> 00:19:34,861 There's people leaving? 611 00:19:34,862 --> 00:19:36,329 There's people leaving! 612 00:19:36,330 --> 00:19:39,066 Have a good day, ma'am. 613 00:19:45,506 --> 00:19:46,940 People are booing! 614 00:19:48,041 --> 00:19:49,075 People are booing him! 615 00:19:49,076 --> 00:19:50,176 I appreciate your faith in 616 00:19:50,177 --> 00:19:53,280 me, folks. 617 00:19:53,281 --> 00:19:54,615 No, I can't. 618 00:19:57,150 --> 00:19:59,586 Oh, my god. 619 00:19:59,587 --> 00:20:01,354 Joe, you got to pee, buddy? 620 00:20:01,355 --> 00:20:02,623 Just did. 621 00:20:14,067 --> 00:20:16,202 The stage lights are off! 622 00:20:16,203 --> 00:20:17,404 Guys, let's put him out of his 623 00:20:17,405 --> 00:20:18,405 misery. 34337

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