Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,421 --> 00:00:03,624
♪♪
2
00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,337
♪♪
3
00:00:10,181 --> 00:00:12,012
Hey, can I have
a little bite?
4
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,014
Oh, um,
yeah, I guess.
5
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,186
Thanks.
6
00:00:15,186 --> 00:00:17,138
That's a bite?
7
00:00:17,138 --> 00:00:19,190
Nope. This is a bite.
8
00:00:19,190 --> 00:00:20,191
Hey. No!
9
00:00:24,105 --> 00:00:26,147
Oh, she's pregnant again.
10
00:00:26,147 --> 00:00:28,359
Actually, I was
just reading that.
11
00:00:28,359 --> 00:00:29,410
Hey, what are you
grooving to?
12
00:00:29,410 --> 00:00:30,991
♪ Milk it,
milk it ♪
13
00:00:30,991 --> 00:00:32,323
♪ This party's hot ♪
14
00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:33,414
♪ Milk it, milk it ♪
15
00:00:33,414 --> 00:00:35,156
♪ This party's hot ♪
16
00:00:35,156 --> 00:00:36,457
♪ Milk it, milk it ♪
17
00:00:36,457 --> 00:00:38,159
♪ This party's hot ♪
18
00:00:38,159 --> 00:00:40,161
♪ Milk it, milk it ♪
19
00:00:40,161 --> 00:00:42,213
♪ This party's hot ♪
20
00:00:42,213 --> 00:00:43,334
♪ Milk it, milk it ♪
21
00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:45,005
♪ This party's hot ♪
22
00:00:45,005 --> 00:00:47,428
Do I have to put
a label on everything?
23
00:00:47,428 --> 00:00:50,341
Ruby's turkey sandwich,
Ruby's trashy magazine,
24
00:00:50,341 --> 00:00:53,013
Ruby's Biolab PSP.
25
00:00:53,013 --> 00:00:54,265
She's right, people.
26
00:00:54,265 --> 00:00:57,178
A young lady deserves
her own personal space
27
00:00:57,178 --> 00:01:00,020
and respect and boundaries.
28
00:01:00,020 --> 00:01:01,482
Are you wearing my shirt?
29
00:01:01,482 --> 00:01:03,314
It looks better on me.
30
00:01:04,355 --> 00:01:05,486
♪ This party's hot ♪
31
00:01:05,486 --> 00:01:07,358
♪ Milk it, milk it ♪
32
00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:09,110
♪ This party's hot ♪
33
00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:10,241
♪ Milk it, milk it ♪
34
00:01:10,241 --> 00:01:13,073
♪ Hey, show me the way ♪
35
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:14,455
♪ What are the rules? ♪
36
00:01:14,455 --> 00:01:18,409
♪ How do you keep a family? ♪
37
00:01:18,409 --> 00:01:20,371
♪ What is the key? ♪
38
00:01:20,371 --> 00:01:25,166
♪ How do you stay together? ♪
39
00:01:25,166 --> 00:01:27,168
♪ Whoa, whoa-oa-oa ♪
40
00:01:27,168 --> 00:01:30,171
♪ If love is all you need
to get along ♪
41
00:01:30,171 --> 00:01:32,173
♪ To be strong for each other ♪
42
00:01:32,173 --> 00:01:35,015
♪ I'll give you
all I can give you ♪
43
00:01:35,015 --> 00:01:39,099
♪ Where I live ♪
♪ Ba, ba, ba, ba ♪
44
00:01:42,022 --> 00:01:44,185
What's the worst kiss
you've ever had?
45
00:01:44,185 --> 00:01:46,026
Oh, Brian Phelps,
sixth grade.
46
00:01:46,026 --> 00:01:48,108
We had a line
of spit between us
47
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,191
that snapped back
in my face.
48
00:01:50,191 --> 00:01:52,153
Oh!
49
00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:54,285
Oh, I can't eat.
50
00:01:54,285 --> 00:01:56,076
What about you?
51
00:01:56,076 --> 00:01:58,999
Well, does
a golden retriever count?
52
00:01:58,999 --> 00:02:00,241
Wait, you kissed a dog?
53
00:02:00,241 --> 00:02:02,333
He kissed me.
54
00:02:02,333 --> 00:02:06,006
Besides, I had a lot of
peanut butter in my mouth.
55
00:02:06,006 --> 00:02:07,047
Well, I did at the beginning.
56
00:02:07,047 --> 00:02:09,170
Oh.
57
00:02:09,170 --> 00:02:10,421
Hey, you think
if we should loud enough,
58
00:02:10,421 --> 00:02:12,092
your aunt will bring us
more pancakes?
59
00:02:12,092 --> 00:02:13,344
That is rude.
60
00:02:13,344 --> 00:02:15,015
Let's text her.
Yeah.
61
00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:20,351
Who's Mr. "Panx Plz"?
62
00:02:20,351 --> 00:02:23,103
It says
"More pancakes, please."
63
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:28,189
When did kids
stop using vowels?
64
00:02:28,189 --> 00:02:29,440
Be nice.
65
00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:32,112
Kristen is Ruby's first real
friend since she moved here.
66
00:02:32,112 --> 00:02:33,324
No kidding.
67
00:02:33,324 --> 00:02:35,406
Every time I peek in their
room, they stop talking,
68
00:02:35,406 --> 00:02:38,239
and then when I leave,
they giggle.
69
00:02:38,239 --> 00:02:39,330
I don't like that.
70
00:02:43,994 --> 00:02:47,167
"Start using your bowels."
71
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:50,341
I meant vowels!
72
00:02:50,341 --> 00:02:53,214
Oh, look,
it's Girls Gone Mild.
73
00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:56,347
You remember
my hilarious cousin Jordan?
74
00:02:56,347 --> 00:02:59,009
Hey, there's a dead whale
on Crescent Beach.
75
00:02:59,009 --> 00:03:00,180
We should check it out.
76
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,012
Apparently, it's already
covered in graffiti.
77
00:03:02,012 --> 00:03:04,144
We're kind of
in the middle of something.
78
00:03:04,144 --> 00:03:05,306
But it's a dead whale.
79
00:03:05,306 --> 00:03:06,397
So?
80
00:03:06,397 --> 00:03:09,360
I can't explain it
better than that.
81
00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:12,112
Is this how you usually
spend your Saturdays?
82
00:03:12,112 --> 00:03:14,154
No, usually I talk about
all the dogs I've kissed.
83
00:03:17,318 --> 00:03:19,029
How did you hear that?
84
00:03:19,029 --> 00:03:20,371
Oh, through the vent.
Perv.
85
00:03:20,371 --> 00:03:22,413
Spit-kisser.
Out!
86
00:03:22,413 --> 00:03:24,325
Oh, pillow fight.
This could be promising.
87
00:03:24,325 --> 00:03:26,287
You are so gross.
Just get out.
88
00:03:26,287 --> 00:03:29,330
Wait. What are you
trying to say?
89
00:03:29,330 --> 00:03:31,211
Um, that you should
get out.
90
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:34,134
Are you picking her
over me?
91
00:03:35,175 --> 00:03:36,216
Yes.
92
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,338
Whatevs.
93
00:03:37,338 --> 00:03:39,009
I'll go by myself.
94
00:03:39,009 --> 00:03:41,011
That dead whale
is full of gas,
95
00:03:41,011 --> 00:03:42,343
and you're going to miss
the explosion.
96
00:03:44,014 --> 00:03:46,056
Oh, God.
97
00:03:51,021 --> 00:03:52,192
No!
98
00:03:52,192 --> 00:03:54,194
I have marked where
you can walk with tape.
99
00:03:54,194 --> 00:03:55,195
It's not that hard.
100
00:03:58,319 --> 00:04:00,240
Uh-oh,
Domino Ben is back.
101
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,162
I know.
Last time he did this,
102
00:04:02,162 --> 00:04:03,454
it was after
his turtle died.
103
00:04:03,454 --> 00:04:05,366
Did you check
on his hamster?
104
00:04:05,366 --> 00:04:08,078
I did. He seems as happy
and useless as ever.
105
00:04:09,330 --> 00:04:12,252
I wish it were easier to get
a read on what's in his head.
106
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,214
I hate
Ruby's new friend.
107
00:04:14,214 --> 00:04:16,086
Jordan, more of an open book.
108
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:20,220
Hey, can I hang out here
for a while?
109
00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:21,342
Candy's in my dressing room,
110
00:04:21,342 --> 00:04:23,143
and she thinks I'm going
to propose.
111
00:04:23,143 --> 00:04:24,144
Candy the showgirl?
112
00:04:24,144 --> 00:04:25,476
No, Candy the doctor.
113
00:04:27,097 --> 00:04:28,349
Seven years ago, I swore
114
00:04:28,349 --> 00:04:32,022
that if we were both single
in seven years, I'd marry her.
115
00:04:32,022 --> 00:04:34,024
I was sure one of us
would be dead by now.
116
00:04:35,235 --> 00:04:36,317
What's with the dominoes?
117
00:04:36,317 --> 00:04:38,028
David, please.
118
00:04:38,028 --> 00:04:42,363
Honey, is there anything
you'd like to share with us?
119
00:04:42,363 --> 00:04:45,326
I'm just a kid
who likes dominoes.
120
00:04:45,326 --> 00:04:46,997
No one likes dominoes
this much.
121
00:04:46,997 --> 00:04:49,289
Not even old Cuban guys.
122
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,332
But until Ben wants to talk,
123
00:04:51,332 --> 00:04:54,294
we will respect his feelings
and give him space.
124
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,176
Or we could try this.
125
00:04:56,176 --> 00:04:58,469
Ben, spill it,
or I'll flick them.
126
00:04:58,469 --> 00:04:59,470
David.
127
00:04:59,470 --> 00:05:02,343
Jamie Rogers punched me.
128
00:05:02,343 --> 00:05:04,264
In the butt.
129
00:05:04,264 --> 00:05:08,018
I should teach a class.
130
00:05:08,018 --> 00:05:09,350
Who is this Jamie Rogers?
131
00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:11,352
'Cause I will
take that kid down.
132
00:05:11,352 --> 00:05:13,023
Patrick, you can't
beat up a kid.
133
00:05:13,023 --> 00:05:14,395
Are you kidding?
I could beat up five kids.
134
00:05:15,436 --> 00:05:17,027
Oh, I see what you mean.
135
00:05:17,027 --> 00:05:18,359
Fine. I'll take
the dad down.
136
00:05:18,359 --> 00:05:20,991
All right, no one
is taking anyone down,
137
00:05:20,991 --> 00:05:22,993
because when someone
resorts to hitting,
138
00:05:22,993 --> 00:05:25,075
it usually means they
are jealous or insecure.
139
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:27,077
Or you slept with his wife.
140
00:05:29,159 --> 00:05:30,411
David, Patrick and I
have agreed
141
00:05:30,411 --> 00:05:33,043
to raise our children to be
nurturing and nonviolent.
142
00:05:33,043 --> 00:05:34,334
Is this true?
Yes.
143
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,006
That's what we agreed to,
144
00:05:36,006 --> 00:05:37,257
and I was 100% on board.
145
00:05:37,257 --> 00:05:39,299
Are you saying this
'cause Audie's here?
146
00:05:39,299 --> 00:05:42,052
Of course not.
147
00:05:44,264 --> 00:05:46,096
Ben, with this Jamie kid,
148
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,428
you're gonna have to
turn the other cheek.
149
00:05:47,428 --> 00:05:51,392
Which is funny, 'cause
we're talking about your butt.
150
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:54,274
But not so funny that
we lose the bigger picture.
151
00:05:54,274 --> 00:05:56,026
I can't believe
what I'm hearing.
152
00:05:56,026 --> 00:05:57,357
No hitting back?
153
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,440
No laughing at butts?
154
00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:03,033
This is not a world that Candy
and I can bring a child into.
155
00:06:03,033 --> 00:06:06,076
David, with all due respect,
meaning almost none,
156
00:06:06,076 --> 00:06:08,158
I think we can handle this.
No!
157
00:06:15,165 --> 00:06:18,048
Oh, Ben, I'm so sorry.
I can help you--
158
00:06:26,006 --> 00:06:28,178
Maybe we could start from--
159
00:06:40,190 --> 00:06:41,281
♪
160
00:06:45,325 --> 00:06:47,327
And yet he won't
finish a book.
161
00:06:52,993 --> 00:06:54,034
Oh, that was close.
162
00:06:54,034 --> 00:06:55,335
Try again.
Hold on.
163
00:06:55,335 --> 00:06:58,168
Yay!
164
00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:01,251
Okay. Uh, worst
Halloween costume.
165
00:07:01,251 --> 00:07:02,382
Mmm... Oh.
166
00:07:02,382 --> 00:07:05,005
My mom put me in a
dog mask and fake tail.
167
00:07:05,005 --> 00:07:06,467
I was Ruby-Dooby-Doo.
168
00:07:08,348 --> 00:07:10,010
You?
169
00:07:10,010 --> 00:07:12,052
Um, well, one year I
dressed up as Cinderella,
170
00:07:12,052 --> 00:07:14,014
and I wore
a vintage Versace gown.
171
00:07:14,014 --> 00:07:15,315
How is that bad?
Oh, it's not.
172
00:07:15,315 --> 00:07:17,357
Hmm. I'm just boasting.
173
00:07:19,019 --> 00:07:21,151
Wow, popular movie.
174
00:07:21,151 --> 00:07:22,192
Jordan?
175
00:07:22,192 --> 00:07:24,024
It's like you guys
have one conversation.
176
00:07:24,024 --> 00:07:26,196
"What's the worst bibbledy
that you ever babbledy?
177
00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:28,368
"Oh, giggle, giggle,
ha ha ha."
178
00:07:28,368 --> 00:07:30,120
What are you doing here?
179
00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:31,992
Um, well, about a month ago,
180
00:07:31,992 --> 00:07:34,334
my cousin Ruby invited me
to a silent film festival,
181
00:07:34,334 --> 00:07:36,076
which sounded lame,
182
00:07:36,076 --> 00:07:39,169
but she was new here and had
no other friends, so I said sure.
183
00:07:39,169 --> 00:07:42,132
But then, the day we were
supposed to go, where's Ruby?
184
00:07:42,132 --> 00:07:44,134
I'm sorry.
I totally forgot.
185
00:07:44,134 --> 00:07:46,006
That's not good enough!
186
00:07:46,006 --> 00:07:48,088
I'm just messing with you.
187
00:07:48,088 --> 00:07:50,010
Forgive and forget.
188
00:07:50,010 --> 00:07:51,141
Ugh. Salty.
189
00:07:51,141 --> 00:07:53,093
Wow, you are
high maintenance.
190
00:07:53,093 --> 00:07:54,224
Mm-hmm.
191
00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:57,307
Seriously, how are
you eating this? Ugh.
192
00:07:57,307 --> 00:07:59,189
Are you gonna settle down
once the movie starts?
193
00:07:59,189 --> 00:08:01,361
It's always hard
to tell with me.
194
00:08:01,361 --> 00:08:03,103
But if you get me
some regular popcorn,
195
00:08:03,103 --> 00:08:05,105
I might behave.
196
00:08:05,105 --> 00:08:06,366
Fine.
197
00:08:11,321 --> 00:08:13,113
Oh, my wallet.
198
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,251
Mmm, salty.
199
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:33,093
Will someone
please explain this?
200
00:08:33,093 --> 00:08:35,015
Um, well,
we just, um...
201
00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:36,186
I kissed her.
202
00:08:36,186 --> 00:08:39,019
Then I climbed over the seat,
then I kissed her some more.
203
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:42,102
♪♪
204
00:08:42,102 --> 00:08:45,025
Well, you told me that Jordan was
annoying and high maintenance.
205
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,196
That was just
sexual tension.
206
00:08:46,196 --> 00:08:49,319
No, you're both
those things.
207
00:08:49,319 --> 00:08:51,451
You're also cute.
I'll take it.
208
00:08:51,451 --> 00:08:54,324
No, you will not.
You will take nothing.
209
00:08:54,324 --> 00:08:57,157
♪♪
210
00:08:57,157 --> 00:08:59,039
Ruby, what's the big deal?
211
00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:02,162
Hey, first of all, I was gone
for, like, four seconds.
212
00:09:02,162 --> 00:09:04,164
Second, I went
to get you popcorn.
213
00:09:04,164 --> 00:09:07,007
And third,
it was four seconds.
214
00:09:07,007 --> 00:09:09,129
Why are you so upset?
215
00:09:09,129 --> 00:09:11,171
I share enough with you. I
don't want to have to share her.
216
00:09:11,171 --> 00:09:14,174
Kristen isn't the bathroom
or a sandwich.
217
00:09:14,174 --> 00:09:16,016
She's a person.
218
00:09:16,016 --> 00:09:19,139
A person who let me
kiss her on the mouth.
219
00:09:19,139 --> 00:09:20,310
The same mouth
that could have said
220
00:09:20,310 --> 00:09:22,392
"Hey, what are you doing?
We're just friends."
221
00:09:22,392 --> 00:09:24,104
But it didn't.
222
00:09:27,027 --> 00:09:28,278
But you barely know her.
223
00:09:28,278 --> 00:09:31,031
- Ruby, don't fight this.
- This is destiny.
224
00:09:31,031 --> 00:09:34,244
♪♪
225
00:09:34,244 --> 00:09:36,997
It's not destiny.
It's insane.
226
00:09:36,997 --> 00:09:39,079
♪♪
227
00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,081
Is that guy playing the organ
listening to us?
228
00:09:41,081 --> 00:09:44,004
Don't change the subject.
I'm really upset with you.
229
00:09:44,004 --> 00:09:45,255
Don't be.
230
00:09:45,255 --> 00:09:48,088
Hey, let's all go
to a ball game.
231
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,170
♪♪
232
00:09:50,170 --> 00:09:51,471
See?
233
00:09:51,471 --> 00:09:54,014
Hey, mind
your own business.
234
00:09:54,014 --> 00:09:56,176
♪♪
235
00:09:59,389 --> 00:10:01,311
Hey, Ben.
How was school?
236
00:10:01,311 --> 00:10:03,353
Awesome. Where are
my dominoes?
237
00:10:05,025 --> 00:10:07,187
All right. What happened?
238
00:10:07,187 --> 00:10:09,279
I took your advice
about turning the other cheek,
239
00:10:09,279 --> 00:10:12,442
and Jamie punched that
one even harder. What?
240
00:10:12,442 --> 00:10:15,155
Maybe we should sit down with
Jamie's mom and have a talk.
241
00:10:15,155 --> 00:10:18,118
Oh, good. Why not just
punch me in the butt yourself?
242
00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:23,163
Audie, shouldn't we be teaching
him to stand up for himself?
243
00:10:23,163 --> 00:10:26,336
Yes. With his words.
Right?
244
00:10:26,336 --> 00:10:30,130
Of course, because we have
agreed to raise our boys
245
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,342
in this talky, nonviolent way.
246
00:10:34,424 --> 00:10:37,387
Hey, completely unrelated. You want
to go for a drive, get some ice cream?
247
00:10:37,387 --> 00:10:39,019
Okay.
248
00:10:41,351 --> 00:10:43,183
What's the first rule
of Gallagher Fight Club?
249
00:10:43,183 --> 00:10:45,145
Don't tell Mom
about Gallagher Fight Club.
250
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,437
Attaboy.
Attaboy.
251
00:10:50,230 --> 00:10:52,192
Hey, Jordan.
I'm having a glass of milk.
252
00:10:52,192 --> 00:10:55,365
Let me know if you plan on
sticking your tongue in it.
253
00:10:55,365 --> 00:10:58,118
You think you're the only one
in this house who likes milk?
254
00:10:58,118 --> 00:10:59,199
News flash.
255
00:10:59,199 --> 00:11:03,333
Jordan likes the milk,
and the milk likes him.
256
00:11:03,333 --> 00:11:05,085
Oh, God, what is this?
257
00:11:05,085 --> 00:11:07,337
Sour cream
and pickle juice.
258
00:11:07,337 --> 00:11:09,049
Oh, you knew
I would drink it!
259
00:11:09,049 --> 00:11:11,171
You're about as
complicated as a fish stick.
260
00:11:12,252 --> 00:11:13,423
All right, that's enough.
261
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,465
You two have been going at it
ever since you got home.
262
00:11:15,465 --> 00:11:18,468
It could all end if Jordan
would stop dating Kristen.
263
00:11:18,468 --> 00:11:20,350
Or if Ruby would back off
264
00:11:20,350 --> 00:11:22,182
and stop trying to control
everyone else's life.
265
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,474
Well, it sounds like you're
gonna have to learn to share her.
266
00:11:24,474 --> 00:11:27,107
Works for me.
Of course it does
267
00:11:27,107 --> 00:11:28,478
'cause you have
nothing to lose.
268
00:11:28,478 --> 00:11:30,270
What are you losing?
269
00:11:30,270 --> 00:11:32,022
Okay. What if you two
get in a fight
270
00:11:32,022 --> 00:11:33,273
and she feels weird
around me?
271
00:11:33,273 --> 00:11:35,115
Or what if she tells me
a secret about you
272
00:11:35,115 --> 00:11:37,317
and then that's weird? What
if we all start feeling weird
273
00:11:37,317 --> 00:11:41,031
'cause we're so weirded out
about it getting weird?
274
00:11:41,031 --> 00:11:42,412
Do you know
what she's saying?
275
00:11:42,412 --> 00:11:44,034
She's saying
that you put her
276
00:11:44,034 --> 00:11:46,036
in an awkward position,
and I agree.
277
00:11:46,036 --> 00:11:48,088
Face.
Did you hear that?
278
00:11:48,088 --> 00:11:51,091
And I'm not saying
it's gonna be easy.
279
00:11:51,091 --> 00:11:54,174
but if my parents were able
to share me after their divorce,
280
00:11:54,174 --> 00:11:55,425
I know you two
can share Kristen.
281
00:11:55,425 --> 00:11:58,428
That's different. Right,
because you both get along.
282
00:11:58,428 --> 00:12:01,051
My parents barely
spoke to each other.
283
00:12:01,051 --> 00:12:02,472
But still, every Christmas,
284
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:06,016
I'd take a photo with my mom
in front of a white wall,
285
00:12:06,016 --> 00:12:07,437
and then she'd
drop me off at Dad's,
286
00:12:07,437 --> 00:12:10,270
and I'd take a photo with him
in front of a white wall,
287
00:12:10,270 --> 00:12:12,272
and then I'd tape
the two photos together,
288
00:12:12,272 --> 00:12:14,024
bring 'em to school,
289
00:12:14,024 --> 00:12:16,196
and tell everyone what a great
family holiday we had
290
00:12:16,196 --> 00:12:20,240
in front of
our Christmas wall.
291
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:22,162
Aunt Audie,
are you okay?
292
00:12:22,162 --> 00:12:23,203
Oh, I'm fine.
293
00:12:23,203 --> 00:12:25,415
That's a happy story.
294
00:12:25,415 --> 00:12:27,417
They made it work,
and so will you.
295
00:12:27,417 --> 00:12:30,080
Mom--
It was a Christmas miracle.
296
00:12:32,002 --> 00:12:34,134
Gallagher men have had
a long tradition of fighting.
297
00:12:34,134 --> 00:12:35,335
From our ancestors battling
298
00:12:35,335 --> 00:12:37,087
in the potato fields
of Ireland
299
00:12:37,087 --> 00:12:40,090
to your uncle and me beating
up Bon Jovi at Newark Airport.
300
00:12:40,090 --> 00:12:42,342
You make fun
of my travel clogs,
301
00:12:42,342 --> 00:12:44,014
you get a smackdown.
302
00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:45,345
Now, the point is
303
00:12:45,345 --> 00:12:47,227
you have to learn
to stand up for yourself.
304
00:12:47,227 --> 00:12:49,189
Mom says the bravest man
305
00:12:49,189 --> 00:12:50,480
is the one that walks away
from a fight.
306
00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:53,483
Mom also says light beer
tastes just as good.
307
00:12:55,155 --> 00:12:57,357
Every Gallagher develops
his own fighting style.
308
00:12:57,357 --> 00:13:00,360
I like to circle a bit, look
for my opponent's weaknesses.
309
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:03,033
Me, I go straight
for the plums.
310
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:05,245
I don't know
what that means.
311
00:13:05,245 --> 00:13:07,457
It means you fight to win.
312
00:13:07,457 --> 00:13:09,409
But you fight fair.
313
00:13:09,409 --> 00:13:12,172
Fighting isn't fair.
That's why it's fighting.
314
00:13:12,172 --> 00:13:15,005
Now, do you want to stand up
to Jamie, or don't you?
315
00:13:15,005 --> 00:13:16,176
I do. A lot.
316
00:13:16,176 --> 00:13:18,298
Okay. Watch and learn.
317
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,050
I'll be you.
318
00:13:20,050 --> 00:13:22,222
Patrick will be Jamie.
Could Dad be me?
319
00:13:22,222 --> 00:13:25,015
'Cause I'd really
like to win.
320
00:13:25,015 --> 00:13:27,187
You know what?
I'm trying to help you.
321
00:13:27,187 --> 00:13:29,189
But if you're gonna mock me,
you're on your own.
322
00:13:29,189 --> 00:13:32,482
Hey, I'm sure
he didn't mean--
323
00:13:32,482 --> 00:13:34,314
And that's how
you beat Jamie.
324
00:13:41,111 --> 00:13:43,283
Do you remember the
first time you kissed me?
325
00:13:43,283 --> 00:13:45,205
Like it was yesterday.
326
00:13:45,205 --> 00:13:47,247
It was yesterday.
327
00:13:47,247 --> 00:13:50,160
And that's why.
328
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,162
You turned around
to tell me to shut up
329
00:13:52,162 --> 00:13:54,294
when I said
"Your mouth is so fine."
330
00:13:54,294 --> 00:13:59,419
No. You said,
"Please, can I kiss you?"
331
00:13:59,419 --> 00:14:02,382
I'll remember it my way.
332
00:14:02,382 --> 00:14:04,344
Sorry, sorry, sorry. I know
you guys are on a date,
333
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,096
but you've got
to check this out.
334
00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:09,179
I just found our math teacher's
dating profile on LoveMatch.
335
00:14:09,179 --> 00:14:10,430
Oh, my God.
336
00:14:10,430 --> 00:14:13,103
Here's a picture of him
riding a horse with his shirt off.
337
00:14:13,103 --> 00:14:15,145
Oh, that is so
humiliating. I know.
338
00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:17,027
Wait. Should we
send it to everyone?
339
00:14:17,027 --> 00:14:19,029
Well, on one hand,
it's none of our business,
340
00:14:19,029 --> 00:14:22,032
but on the other hand, yeah.
341
00:14:22,032 --> 00:14:24,284
Um, maybe you girls
could do this later.
342
00:14:24,284 --> 00:14:28,078
Oh, no. There is a testimonial
here from his mother.
343
00:14:28,078 --> 00:14:29,329
Oh.
344
00:14:29,329 --> 00:14:31,331
Hey, Kristen, you want
to go for a bite?
345
00:14:31,331 --> 00:14:33,413
Oh, that's a good idea.
You guys go have fun.
346
00:14:33,413 --> 00:14:35,415
I'm just gonna stay in,
watch the movie I rented--
347
00:14:35,415 --> 00:14:38,168
Harold and Maude,
the director's cut.
348
00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:40,000
What? I love that movie.
349
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,263
You know, I do remember
you telling me that.
350
00:14:43,263 --> 00:14:46,096
Excuse me for a second.
351
00:14:46,096 --> 00:14:47,177
What are you doing?
352
00:14:47,177 --> 00:14:49,059
I'm sharing,
like your mom told us to.
353
00:14:49,059 --> 00:14:51,011
This is not sharing.
This is stealing.
354
00:14:51,011 --> 00:14:52,472
It's not stealing
if she chooses me.
355
00:14:52,472 --> 00:14:55,065
Which she will,
because I know Kristen.
356
00:14:55,065 --> 00:14:57,017
How she thinks,
what she likes.
357
00:14:57,017 --> 00:14:59,189
You're in
way over your head.
358
00:15:04,194 --> 00:15:07,117
Kristen, you want
to go upstairs and make out?
359
00:15:07,117 --> 00:15:08,488
Okay.
360
00:15:23,213 --> 00:15:25,215
Hey, guys.
361
00:15:25,215 --> 00:15:28,008
Oh. It's you.
Oh. It's you.
362
00:15:30,180 --> 00:15:31,261
Everything okay?
363
00:15:31,261 --> 00:15:34,014
Great. Good.
364
00:15:34,014 --> 00:15:36,186
So, uh, what
are you doing?
365
00:15:36,186 --> 00:15:38,108
Nothing. Just waiting for Ben
to get home from school.
366
00:15:38,108 --> 00:15:40,020
Both of you? Why?
367
00:15:40,020 --> 00:15:43,113
Can't two men wait for a boy
without it being a thing?
368
00:15:49,119 --> 00:15:50,450
Well, how'd it go?
369
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:52,242
I kicked Jamie in the butt.
370
00:15:52,242 --> 00:15:54,334
Everyone laughed.
Jamie started crying.
371
00:15:54,334 --> 00:15:57,998
Oh, what a beautiful story!
372
00:15:57,998 --> 00:16:00,040
Our little boy's
grown up.
373
00:16:01,291 --> 00:16:04,174
Look at me.
I'm a mess.
374
00:16:04,174 --> 00:16:07,177
Audie, Ben has something
to tell you.
375
00:16:07,177 --> 00:16:08,348
I thought we were
keeping this from Mom.
376
00:16:08,348 --> 00:16:10,180
Yeah, well, that was
before we knew
377
00:16:10,180 --> 00:16:12,142
we could rub it in her face.
378
00:16:12,142 --> 00:16:13,393
Honey, guess what.
379
00:16:13,393 --> 00:16:16,266
I lied about taking Ben
for ice cream.
380
00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:18,358
Really?
Mm-hmm.
381
00:16:18,358 --> 00:16:21,311
Yes. Instead, David and I
taught him how to fight.
382
00:16:21,311 --> 00:16:22,482
Really?
383
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,194
Yes, really.
384
00:16:24,194 --> 00:16:26,276
Ben, tell your mother
what happened.
385
00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:28,408
I kicked Jamie,
and she started crying.
386
00:16:28,408 --> 00:16:30,070
Ha!
387
00:16:30,070 --> 00:16:31,161
Wait.
388
00:16:32,202 --> 00:16:33,283
She?
389
00:16:33,283 --> 00:16:35,285
As in Jamie's a girl?
390
00:16:35,285 --> 00:16:39,119
Well, these old bones
need a bath.
391
00:16:41,121 --> 00:16:42,172
Sit.
392
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,336
So you lied.
393
00:16:46,336 --> 00:16:48,258
You taught our son
to use violence,
394
00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:50,050
and then he made
a little girl cry.
395
00:16:50,050 --> 00:16:53,093
Oh, she's taller than me.
396
00:16:53,093 --> 00:16:54,434
No, she's not.
397
00:16:56,096 --> 00:16:59,099
You are gonna call Jamie's mom
and apologize,
398
00:16:59,099 --> 00:17:00,350
and you are gonna
write an essay
399
00:17:00,350 --> 00:17:02,232
on why violence is wrong.
400
00:17:02,232 --> 00:17:03,443
And you--
401
00:17:14,364 --> 00:17:18,998
♪♪
402
00:17:18,998 --> 00:17:21,040
This is like
our own apartment.
403
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:25,004
With hundreds of chairs.
404
00:17:25,004 --> 00:17:26,466
I love making out
with you.
405
00:17:26,466 --> 00:17:29,169
I love making out with you.
406
00:17:29,169 --> 00:17:32,172
I mean, Ruby wants me
to feel guilty, but I don't.
407
00:17:32,172 --> 00:17:33,343
Cool.
408
00:17:33,343 --> 00:17:35,265
I mean...
409
00:17:35,265 --> 00:17:37,347
she was out of
control last night. Okay.
410
00:17:37,347 --> 00:17:38,438
Maybe we should call her.
411
00:17:38,438 --> 00:17:40,180
Why?
412
00:17:40,180 --> 00:17:42,021
Well, so she knows
she's not excluded.
413
00:17:42,021 --> 00:17:44,184
But she is excluded.
414
00:17:44,184 --> 00:17:46,356
Not in a mean way,
but come on.
415
00:17:46,356 --> 00:17:48,188
And if she had a boyfriend,
416
00:17:48,188 --> 00:17:51,191
she'd blow me off,
and I'd be cool with that.
417
00:17:51,191 --> 00:17:52,402
You're right.
418
00:17:55,034 --> 00:17:57,367
But this is what
she said would happen.
419
00:17:57,367 --> 00:17:59,159
And I said it wouldn't,
420
00:17:59,159 --> 00:18:01,040
but now
I can't even enjoy
421
00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:02,292
the simple pleasure
of kissing you.
422
00:18:02,292 --> 00:18:04,334
Well, that's a shame
423
00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:07,127
'cause it's kinda
all we got.
424
00:18:07,127 --> 00:18:09,008
♪♪
425
00:18:12,382 --> 00:18:15,215
So, Molly,
426
00:18:15,215 --> 00:18:18,178
you don't like
movies or books
427
00:18:18,178 --> 00:18:19,269
or music.
428
00:18:19,269 --> 00:18:20,350
Right.
429
00:18:21,391 --> 00:18:24,063
So what do you like?
430
00:18:24,063 --> 00:18:26,146
Oh, you know,
431
00:18:26,146 --> 00:18:29,068
stuff.
432
00:18:29,068 --> 00:18:31,191
what does that mean,
stuff?
433
00:18:31,191 --> 00:18:35,074
Look, you invited me here.
434
00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:39,118
Hey. Oh, sorry. Didn't
know you were busy.
435
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,120
No, no. Stay.
436
00:18:42,372 --> 00:18:46,085
You remember Molly
from school.
437
00:18:46,085 --> 00:18:48,458
Hey, you're the girl that was
hit by lightning, right?
438
00:18:48,458 --> 00:18:52,091
So they tell me.
439
00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:57,347
Shoot. I just remembered that
you and I have that thing.
440
00:18:57,347 --> 00:18:59,259
What?
Yes, that.
441
00:18:59,259 --> 00:19:02,061
I am so sorry.
I totally forgot.
442
00:19:02,061 --> 00:19:05,144
Oh, it's no problem. I should
probably take off, anyway.
443
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,267
It feels like rain.
444
00:19:09,479 --> 00:19:13,152
You know, she used
to be a cheerleader.
445
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,444
Before the storm.
446
00:19:19,038 --> 00:19:21,281
So, how's Kristen?
447
00:19:21,281 --> 00:19:23,333
She'll probably
be calling you
448
00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:25,245
'cause we just broke up.
449
00:19:25,245 --> 00:19:26,336
Seriously?
450
00:19:26,336 --> 00:19:28,378
What happened?
451
00:19:28,378 --> 00:19:30,460
Just didn't feel right.
452
00:19:32,001 --> 00:19:33,463
Huh.
453
00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:37,136
Look, I'm sorry I got so
territorial over everything.
454
00:19:37,136 --> 00:19:39,008
I just felt like I needed
455
00:19:39,008 --> 00:19:40,390
a little corner of something
that was mine.
456
00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:43,223
Well, this room is yours.
457
00:19:43,223 --> 00:19:45,104
Not really.
458
00:19:45,104 --> 00:19:46,436
People come in and out
of here all the time.
459
00:19:46,436 --> 00:19:49,269
No one even knocks. I know.
That's why I brought you this.
460
00:19:53,363 --> 00:19:55,074
You don't want it anymore?
461
00:19:55,074 --> 00:19:57,116
Ruby, I'm a teenage boy.
462
00:19:57,116 --> 00:20:00,240
Nobody's coming into
my room without knocking.
463
00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:04,374
Mom actually starts whistling
at the bottom of the stairs.
464
00:20:04,374 --> 00:20:08,207
Well, thank you.
I appreciate it.
465
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:11,170
So, this Molly girl.
466
00:20:11,170 --> 00:20:13,002
Would you be okay
with me asking her out?
467
00:20:13,002 --> 00:20:15,335
Seriously?
She was hit by lightning.
468
00:20:15,335 --> 00:20:17,006
Gotta know
what that's like.
469
00:20:25,014 --> 00:20:26,185
Entrez, por favor.
470
00:20:28,438 --> 00:20:30,189
Are you David Gallagher?
471
00:20:30,189 --> 00:20:34,023
Yes. Did Bruno
send you with a package?
472
00:20:36,195 --> 00:20:38,117
I'm Mary Ellen,
473
00:20:38,117 --> 00:20:40,069
and I have something
I'd like to give you.
474
00:20:40,069 --> 00:20:42,452
Ah. Well,
all fans' underwear
475
00:20:42,452 --> 00:20:45,244
should be dropped off
with the concierge.
476
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:48,167
No, I'm Jamie's mom.
477
00:20:48,167 --> 00:20:50,169
And what I'm giving you
478
00:20:50,169 --> 00:20:53,172
is the ass-kicking
of your life.
479
00:20:54,334 --> 00:20:57,256
Oh, really?
480
00:20:57,256 --> 00:21:01,090
That's what Bon Jovi said.
33698
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof