Original subtitles

♪♪

♪♪

♪ She's got everything I want ♪

♪ He's got moves to shake you ♪

♪ Right down to the floor ♪

♪ She's the girl for me ♪

♪ He is all I see ♪

♪ Oh, they'll believe me ♪

♪ All I hope is you believe me ♪

♪ When I swear the world ♪

♪ Is full of possibilities ♪

♪ Oh, bend me, break me ♪

♪ Nothing's ever gonna wake me ♪

♪ From this dream and all these crazy ♪

♪ Possibilities ♪ Hey, hon, are they still looking for bass players?

Not anymore. Look at how Ruby is staring at that guy.

♪ He's got rhapsody ♪

♪ Inside his body ♪

I don't like him. Based on what?

He looks shifty, and his jeans are ripped.

And tight.

I'm married, but I ain't dead. Come on!

♪ Hey, show me the way ♪

♪ What are the rules? ♪

♪ How do you keep a family? ♪

♪ What is the key? ♪

♪ How do you stay together? ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa-oa-oa ♪

♪ If love is all you need to get along ♪

♪ To be strong for each other ♪

♪ I'll give you all I can give you ♪

♪ Where I live ♪ ♪ Ba, ba, ba, ba ♪

So, Ruby and I will have a band meeting.

But you're basically in.

Discuss our creative options.

Then I'll call you with the good news.

If there is good news.

So I'll talk to you.

Or you won't. Um...

You know, so you sure that you have everything

in case we never see you again?

Uh, yeah, I think I'm, uh... Good.

I vote no. Why?

When you put a band together, you need to consider creative chemistry.

I'm darkness. You're light.

Nills brings nothing. What do I bring?

Sexual magnetism.

Do you know what I think?

You're worried Nills will upstage you.

Are you crazy?

I'm years ahead of him musically.

Plus, I have rock star hips.

Well, hello, Cinderella.

Hi, David. Ruby's upstairs.

Patrick's out back. Ah.

And where is Audie?

Chained to a sink.

Tell me why the caged bird scrubs.

What do you want?

I have an offer I think you might find rather interesting.

Well, what is it? I have to get to the store before it closes.

I'm out of lunch meat.

Audie, the store?

Lunch meat?

Really?

Okay, I'm leaving.

All right, fine. You know my backup dancer Candy.

Well, we've had some creative differences.

She claims I stole her grandmother's earrings.

I say finders keepers.

Anyway, I need you to fill in for her.

No. It would just be temporary.

Oh. Oh, just temporary?

Yeah. No.

Come on. Please? I don't ask for much.

You don't ask for anything. You just take what you want.

When it comes to dancers,

I have the pick of the entire St. Augustine litter.

But I want you because you're the best.

Yeah, I'm pretty good.

So, one night, 300 bucks,

plus four free drink tickets.

David, you really think I wanna be a backup dancer at an Indian casino?

In a room that smells like smoke and old gin?

With the hot lights, the roar of the crowd

and the adrenalin racing through my veins?

Okay, I'll do it.

Thank you. You're saving my life.

Oh, I gotta go. Oh, wait.

Since you're going to the store,

can you pick me up a rotisserie chicken?

You know, with the pepper glaze I like.

297, 298, 299, 300.

Dad, can't you do that in-- I don't know-- your home gym?

Yes, but then I wouldn't be an example to my sons.

You're an inspiration.

Check it out. Check it out.

Right foot. Left foot. Double time.

Holy crap. I know. I'm so good at this.

No. Ruby.

All right. Bye, guys. I'm going out.

You look like you're for sale.

Ben, we don't talk to girls that way.

But you do have a very aggressive marketing campaign going on here.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm just going out with my friend Nills.

The bass player? He's your friend now?

Why not? Uh,

'cause, what, you met him yesterday.

It just seems a little early to be throwing the F-word around.

Ruby, I'm not sure about this.

You just met Nills.

Come on. This can't be that big a deal.

Can I just go out with him?

Sure. Go have fun.

Cute outfit. Thank you.

David, you can't just waltz in my house and undermine me.

Why are you in my house?

I'm picking up a chicken.

What's wrong with her going out?

She wants to date a guy in our band.

Okay, I put the music first,

so if you wanna see him, you can forget about playing with me.

The band will be over.

Wow. Can I go now?

Not tonight.

This is so unfair.

I'm sorry. I'm not gonna let a 15-year-old girl

go out at night with a guy I don't know.

Come on. If Audie were here, she'd be on my side.

If Audie were here, she'd be on my side.

If Audie were here, I'd have my chicken.

I got the music, and I came up with a few new moves for the first song.

Audie, I'm gonna stop you.

What's wrong? I've already choreographed this.

Oh, uh, fine. Show me what you want.

I want you in this.

Oh. Well, I'm glad to see

we're not perpetuating any ridiculous stereotypes.

Thank you. I was being sarcastic.

Really? It doesn't suit you.

Now...

we start with

a "Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo."

And five, six, seven, eight.

And step. And step.

And you shake it. And you shake it.

And you're looking for the moose.

Looking for the moose.

A rootin'-tootin' cowboy.

A rootin'-tootin' cowboy

got his eyes on you.

So you giggle and you giggle

and you hide behind the tree.

Look and stop.

What's wrong? Did the moose die of shame?

Audie, I can't tell you

how great it is to see you work.

I mean, nothing against Candy, but you are the real deal.

Oh, well, thank you.

You know, it feels good. Uh-huh.

Like the performer in me just woke up from a long sleep.

Not just the performer, the artist.

Aw. I can't wait till you meet

the guys who play the moose.

♪♪

Like that?

What is going on? Band practice.

Hey, Jordan, sorry to hear you quit.

I did what?

Can I talk to you for a second?

Okay, I thought I was pretty clear last night.

If you wanna see Nills, then you're out of the band.

Actually, you told me that you don't wanna play with me anymore,

so I just figured that meant you were quitting.

Why would I quit? It's my band.

You wanna come back?

I don't need your permission. I give you permission.

You give us permission to let you back into your band?

Yes.

Hey, how was it rehearsing with David?

Oh, like chasing a drunk leprechaun through the Wild West.

How you doing? You, uh-- You need anything?

Binoculars? Shotgun?

Name tag that says "I'm a crazy, overprotective uncle"?

I am not overprotective.

I just wanna control all her thoughts and actions

for the next five to ten years.

Look, honey, I know you're not used to raising a teenage girl,

but you're gonna have to let Ruby live her life a little.

I didn't say she couldn't go out with Nills.

I just said I wanted to get to know him.

So why aren't you?

I want him to notice me staring at him first.

Please don't embarrass yourself.

Said Princess Dances With Pole.

I won't be on a pole.

Better not be on a pole. I'm gonna call that idiot.

♪♪

♪ He's got rhapsody ♪

♪ Inside his body ♪

♪ She's got heat to set the night on fire ♪

♪ It's driving me insane ♪

♪ I wanna scream her name ♪

♪ Oh, they'll believe me ♪

♪ All I hope-- ♪

Uncle Patrick, what are you doing?

Thought you could use a little tambourine.

Great. Why don't you strap on some knee cymbals?

Yeah, I think it'd be kind of cool to have one of the Rockits jam with us.

Ass-kisser.

So, what are we working on?

We're just trying to iron out this song.

Which I think you are singing incredibly well.

Oh, my gosh. You're so sweet.

I really like your shirt.

You can have it.

You're not giving her your shirt.

This band's falling apart.

You know why? You don't know each other yet.

It's important to open up and share

before anyone takes their shirt off.

Am I right, Nills? I guess so.

Uncle Patrick-- Your shirt stays on always.

Now, time for a little fun sharing.

Ruby, what's your favorite color?

Red.

Interesting. Ben, your favorite superhero?

Wonder Woman.

We'll talk.

Nills, what's the worst thing you've ever done?

Oh, come on. Look, you don't have to answer that.

You ever been arrested?

Of course he hasn't been arrested!

Actually, I have.

Really?

It was a misunderstanding.

It always is.

You see, some friends and I held a rally

to stop toxic dumping in the Everglades.

We didn't know we had to have a permit.

So you went to jail trying to change the world?

That's amazing.

Oh, antidumping, look out.

You know, I would love to go protest with you,

you know, sometime.

Yeah, I am going to a human rights march next week.

That's perfect!

I'm great at walking.

Talking, not so much.

Whoa, guys. We're losing focus. New game.

Let's put all our Social Security numbers in a hat,

then I'll take the hat and make a few calls.

Okay, this is ridiculous.

We're well past ridiculous. Patrick, enough.

Honey, I'm just bonding with the kids.

No, he's not. He's being creepy, he's interrogating Nills,

and he's playing a tiny tambourine.

Look, I get what's going on.

You don't know me. Suddenly, I'm in your house.

You used to be famous. You think I'm some crazy stalker.

First of all, I'm still reasonably famous.

Okay, but,

really, you don't have anything to worry about.

I'm just your normal, average 19-year-old guy.

What?

So what if he's 19?

I'm 15.

God, it's not like I'm 14.

Honey, he is way too old.

But I thought you were on my side.

Ruby, it's not about sides.

Although welcome to the right one.

Look, look, I know that before you lived here,

you kind of ran your own life.

But you need to trust that we're looking out for you.

Maybe you need to trust that I have just possibly found the love of my life.

You wanna take this?

I'm kind of playing the good cop, and...

Ruby, uh, is this really just about Nills,

or is it the fact that we're telling you no?

I think I know how I feel.

Nills is funny, he's sweet.

We both love the same kind of music

and marching for stuff.

And if you guys tell me that I can't see him anymore,

then we'll just have to meet in secret,

'cause he's the only guy that I'll ever want!

What's his last name?

I think it starts with a K.

♪ This family is so rude ♪

♪ They keep me from a dude ♪

Come in.

I think you sure took your time.

What, were you in the bathroom or something?

What are you doing?

I'm busting you out so you can go on your date.

But Patrick and Audie said that I'm not-- I know. I heard.

They say a lot of stuff. "Wear a seat belt,

pay your taxes, eat fruit."

But I'm your father,

and I say, "Live your life."

How did you even get up here?

I used to have a pet spider monkey,

and I studied its moves... until it went berserk.

Now come on.

Are you gonna be the girl that always does what she's told,

or are you gonna follow your heart?

Well, you are my dad,

and you should know what's best for me.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I'll go with that one.

Attagirl.

We really are up here, aren't we?

Yeah, but it's easy to get down. Just, uh, step on that branch.

Are you sure that can hold me?

It held me.

Okay.

That's it.

I'm okay.

That's exactly the way my monkey used to land.

So, no one knows you're here? Nope.

Wow. You are such a rebel.

Well, we're rebels, Nills.

Like in the movies-- breaking all the rules,

seeing where the night will take us.

Well, my sister needs her Vespa back by 10:00, so...

Oh, well, of course.

So, we're here.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Oh, I don't know. What are you thinking?

Well, they've got this dinner special for eight bucks.

It's pasta and a salad. I figured we could split it.

Oh, um...

Yeah, I haven't seen that on my menu.

Can I look at yours?

Oh, sure. No, no, no.

I'll come over there.

Hi.

Hi.

Uh, that's the special.

Oh, uh, yum.

Do-- Do I have helmet hair?

Uh, yeah, actually. A little bit.

I can... Nills...

Whoo! I am hungry!

Jordan, how did you know where I was?

Oh, Mom and Dad can track your cell phone.

What? I'm kidding.

No, if they knew you were gone, they'd be here,

and you'd be dead.

Oh, yeah. Actually, I just asked myself,

"Where would an aging ex-con take my cousin?"

Look, it was a misdemeanor, you bitch.

Really? You wanna do this?

Oh, well, why not? It'll be quick.

Okay, you guys, just stop. Jordan, I need to talk to you.

It's okay. I wrestled in 7th grade.

Yeah, I went to the Olympic trials

in Tae Kwon Do.

So, Ruby, you needed to speak to me?

What is this? What are you doing?

Okay, don't worry. I'm not ratting you out.

I stuck Ben in your bed in case anyone checks.

What if they check Ben's bed?

It's not a perfect plan.

So, uh, why'd you sneak out?

I just got tired of everybody telling me

who I can hang out with, including you.

Sorry.

I know I've been a little bit of a jerk, and...

It's all right. We all do crazy things when we're jealous.

Jealous? Don't be ridiculous.

You're my cousin. Yuck!

I meant because I'm dating somebody and you're not.

Oh, right.

I am jealous...of that.

Why am I dateless? Why?

Uh, Ruby, about us dating--

Oh, I didn't mean dating like boyfriend-girlfriend dating.

I just meant like, you know, we're two people splitting a salad.

You know, and seeing where it takes us.

Oh. Okay.

Um, this is tricky.

Uh, Ruby, I think you are a great girl.

Oh, my God, are you breaking up with me?

Do you see what you did? No. No, no, no.

Ruby, you don't understand.

I like guys.

But so do I!

Don't you see how much we have in common?

Ruby, I'm gay.

Really?

Yes!

I mean, good for you.

Such courage.

But, I mean, what was all this?

I thought that you were into me.

Him, as a friend,

and someone to play music with.

Yes!

So brave.

I think I really thought you knew.

And I thought you were a little homophobic.

No way.

In fact, I've never loved another man

as much as I love you right now.

You're not my type.

I am so embarrassed. I mean,

how could I have not seen this coming?

What straight guy splits a salad?

Nills, I'm sorry about giving you attitude all this time.

Hey, you are a really talented guy,

and I hope you stay in the band.

Okay, seriously, dude, like, I have a boyfriend.

You were born to rock.

They're gonna love you.

But remember, three waters for every scotch.

I-I don't know about this outfit.

What? You're a knockout!

It's just...I'm a mom

and-- and a wife,

and I tell teenage girls who they can and can't date.

I don't belong out there.

Audie Elizabeth Gallagher, you listen to me.

My middle name is Anne.

You have the soul of an artist

and the heart of a lion.

And if you don't go out there tonight, you're gonna regret it forever.

You think? I know.

So, we're gonna go out there

and hit that stage and rock the house.

It's gonna be the greatest night of your life.

Yeah. Yeah, you know what? You're right. Mm-hmm.

I can do this. Yes.

And when I feel the energy of that crowd,

I'm gonna come alive, because I am a dancer.

Yes, you are.

Candy?

I changed my mind. I'll do your stupid show.

Thank God! Wait.

Audie Leticia Gallagher,

I will never forget what you almost did for me tonight.

Come on, Candy.

Oh, and keep the drink tickets.

I am so gonna trash this room.

♪ She's got everything I want ♪

♪ He's got moves to shake you ♪

♪ Right down to the floor ♪

♪ She's the girl for me ♪

♪ He is all I see ♪

♪ Oh, they'll believe me ♪

♪ All I hope is you believe me ♪

♪ When I swear the world ♪

♪ Is full of possibilities ♪

♪ Oh, bend me, break me ♪