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Oh, no, Bernie!

Oh, dear, no. I thought it was the egg man.

Morning, Melissa.

Of course, you look terrible in the mornings, too.

Your hair's a mess,

and that grubby dressing gown!

Carl spends altogether too much money on his own clothes.

You're not drunk, are you, Bernie?

Did you see Carl on the way up?

Yes, I had a word with him.

You knew we'd arranged it, didn't you?

I take it you wouldn't have the cheek to admit

you'd forgotten all about it?

Hello, Uncle Bernard! Have you called to take me out

- for the day? - Yes. Yes, I have, Win Tin Tin.

Can you finish pulling her things on? I've gotta go now.

Oh, and don't forget to close the front door behind you properly, Bernie.

Okay.

Okay, be off with you.

I'm glad to see you feel you can trust me nowadays

with your table's order.

And how's my little Winnie, eh?

Where are we going to?

Hard work and obedience.

That's all that's wanted from you, Winnie.

Here, catch!

Haven't you any long trousers to hide those irons?

How horrible if it happens to be Carl's side.

No-one would believe it of me.

Lousy bastard.

? I'm going to the seaside, seaside, sea

Uh-uh-uh. Oh, no.

No, I'll be left to carry those when you get tired.

If you want a bucket and spade,

you'll have to pinch 'em off some other kids.

You've been drinking again, Uncle Bernard, haven't you?

I could smell it, but I didn't say a word to Mummy,

else there would have been a row.

Carl's influence. I haven't drunk anything.

And, even if I have, I forbid you to mention it.

I'm not taking you out to be reminded of nasty people all the time.

Are you afraid, the same as me,

that, one day, it'll go crashing to the bottom?

Hello, Winnie!

Are you going out for a nice little walk with, er...

Mother's boyfriend, I see.

And mind you keep your filthy hands off her.

You might be carrying an infectious disease. Eeurgh!

Is she still watching us?

Yes, she's still watching us, Uncle Bernard.

Anxiety is universal...

Uncle! Uncle Bernard!

Will you hold them for me? You can keep them,

but you must hide them away.

All right.

I'll hide them away.

And then, if we get into any danger,

we'll take them out and offer them.

Boo!

Winnie, do you often have to go to the doctor?

No, but I'll be going again soon.

But you always have to wait so long.

And Mummy always leaves me on my own

and goes to do the shopping.

What does the doctor say when he sees you?

- Does he hurt you? - No.

Shall we take a taxi, Winnie?

I want to go by train. If I go by train, I can...

- Hey! - Money.

Just cough up, and we'll say no more about it.

Oh, I'm sorry, Louis. I've got to take this little girl to the doctor's.

We're waiting here for the train.

Well, you can see for yourself she's wearing irons.

That's nothing to do with me.

Mmm?

That won't do.

Why don't you knock his teeth in, Lou?

It's all I've got, Louis.

I take it you can leave us a few cents for the train?

Oh, you can't make the child walk.

Look, look, I'll get some more next week,

and then I'll... and then I'll come round, eh?

There.

- We'll have the rest next week. - Yeah.

I know where to find you.

Horrid man! You mustn't hit Uncle Bernard like that!

Oh...

Is there anything to be seen there still, Winnie?

No, I can't see anything.

How are you doing now, eh?

Got home all in one piece did you, then?

Don't you know me anymore?

We had a nice little drink together at the Victoria.

No, I'm sorry.

Oughtn't you to be checking the toilets?

I bet someone's trying to get a free ride.

O God, our Father...

don't let my brakes fail.

You go and play on the sand,

you'll look like nothing on Earth in no time.

I'll be careful I don't bend over too far.

Look, like this.

Well, let's go and have something to eat first.

What would you like? Chips or a sandwich?

Chips.

Though Daddy doesn't like me to.

Carl does not concern us.

All he is permitted to do

is to see that you don't die of cold or hunger.

We can dispense with him for anything else.

I'll take over your education.

Only speak of him if it can't be avoided,

but don't ever call him "Daddy" while I'm about.

Even that name's a substitute.

He had to take you on with the rest of the bargain

when he got Mummy.

One day, when you're a little bit older,

and not so dependent, you'll come to me

and then I'll tell you exactly why.

Ow! You're hurting me.

Why are you speaking so gruffly?

I haven't done anything naughty.

Come on. I didn't mean it that way.

Let's find something to do.

- This one? - No, the green one.

Oh, this one here.

Thank you.

Can you hear, Winnie, how the roads are filled

with royal chants to gladden us on our way?

I have to wee-wee.

- All right? - Mm-hmm. Thank you.

- Haven't started yet, I take it? - No.

There's too much current.

Won't get much better with this spring tide, either.

How about the pier?

Oh, no good going there.

The float pulls like mad and you waste yards of line.

Look! Look! Here I am!

Go inside and tell someone to come out here.

You can order whatever you fancy.

- What can I do for you? - I want to order something.

Are you the waitress?

If so, you have none of the decorum proper to your profession.

Go inside, put on a skirt, tie an apron round your waist,

and remove those overdone and, given this weather,

utterly superfluous pair of sunglasses.

I'm not the waitress.

I'm the daughter of the proprietress.

Given this weather, the staff's got the day off.

All right, then go and get your mother.

You can tell me what you like.

I lead a dangerous life and I'm taking no risks.

Any problem?

On the contrary, madam.

I invite, er... you and your daughter to join me at this table.

Oh, thank you.

And now, perhaps, one more dry chair.

What will you have, madam?

Er... Coffee.

- And the young lady? - Coffee.

I want an orangeade with a straw!

And I'll have...

I'll have, er...

Oh, just give me a bottle of beer.

No weather for the beach, huh?

And yet the air is nice and mild. Sixty-five degrees.

Though perhaps this weather is better for some children.

They don't run so much risk of being knocked over

by all that wild dashing about of the others.

You'd do better, I think, to talk about something else.

I'm sorry. You're right, of course.

What rotten weather, eh, Mum?

It is.

It's better sitting out here than that dump over there.

Did you hear that, Mum?

He can't really mean it.

We've only just had the whole place painted,

and new lighting installed.

Well, I must admit it's a better hole than the others.

Oh, it's quite neat. I like the...

...frills round the wood.

Could we have the radio a little softer,

or could you go and listen to it inside?

I can't hear a word your mother's saying.

And go and fetch me another bottle of beer.

If you look on me as a friend,

rather than as a customer,

do me a favour and take the chill off it

by putting the bottle under your arm

or in some other tender spot.

What was that you were saying?

An old custom, madam,

that people where I come from still hold in high regard.

The young lady that pours out for the family guest

imparts some of her own pure warmth to the beverage.

In this way, she gives the guest something more

- than a mere material gift. - Mmm. Remarkable.

Are you, perhaps...

Jewish?

An unexpected compliment.

Can I go and play in the sand?

All right, off you go.

Aren't you going to drink up your orangeade first?

I'm sorry to oblige you to make another journey,

but same again, please.

What's that for?

Why have you put those two bottles ready on the counter?

Well, it's easier this way.

Otherwise, I have to go all that way,

all the way into the fridge in the kitchen,

and you're tipping them back so quickly,

I thought they'd keep cool enough, this weather,

until I can pour them out for you.

I see.

That's the way it is, is it?

Winnie! Come here!

The ladies have detected a weakness in my character,

and, instead of trying to restrain me,

they're out to exploit it to their own advantage.

It won't be so bad a day for you after all, will it?

Stay outside there! It's not fit for you in here.

But, sir, what are you saying?

My daughter has done nothing wrong.

I'm sorry, madam, but I can't get rid of the idea

that, in this café, you and your daughter

are leading the customers on.

I haven't made up my mind yet whether I should inform the police.

- How much do I owe you? - Ten and six.

- Does that include the service charge? - Yes, the service is included.

Change this note for me.

Here.

I'm deducting the coffee and the service charge.

You are aware you're not allowed to include a service charge in the bill?

You shouldn't be serving here either. You're infringing on the regulations.

Furthermore, you realise, that after what's happened here,

I no longer feel myself obliged to pay for your coffee either.

Those who over-estimate the danger they're in

are to be pitied.

It leaves them no peace.

Uncle Bernard, what did you say?

Hmm?

Oh, nothing. Nothing, Winnie, dear.

Do you like it with me?

I think it's awfully nice with you, Uncle Bernard.

Uncle Bernard, I've left my shell behind.

Listen. Shall we go and take a look

at the shops on the promenade, eh?

Well, let's go and shelter under the pier, anyway.

Uncle Bernard, can't we go and get my shell back?

No, we can't.

There are technical objections, Winnie.

But it is sometimes good to suffer a loss.

You long to have it back,

and that improves the blood circulation

from which all organs of the body benefit.

In any case...

it's as well to be prepared for anything when you're with me.

If you'd kept hold of that shell, you wouldn't be crying now.

But we had to leave in such a hurry.

I'd have remembered it otherwise.

Well, there you are, then. You see?

Constant attention, that's the thing.

Always on the keen bean, and keep your eyes skinned.

Oh, it's wearing on the nerves, but you stay alive that way.

Now, come on, cheer up,

and maybe you'll get another one before the day is out.

Oh, goody!

Shall I go and run ahead?

All right, off you go.

God sees this.

He is my witness.

It is costing me something to keep up appearances

for her sake.

Better to get out of her sight in good time.

Only a supreme being will recognise

the sacrifice that's now about to be made for what it is.

Er... I want one of those shells, too, please.

Well, why don't you come in and choose one?

I've just taken them out of the oven.

They're still...

warm.

Rotten old day, isn't it?

No sun, no people.

If you'd like to come in and choose one,

might relieve each other's boredom a bit.

You have each other, don't you?

The pet. So naïve.

Oh, come on. Give me that shell.

Now, listen, fairy. Do you sell beer here, too?

Among other things, yes.

Pipi, why don't you go and see how many bottles

we've got in our private collection,

while I try and keep this young man happy.

How many am I gonna let you steal from me?

- Three bottles. - Oh...

- And an opener. - And an opener!

She wants three bottles and an opener.

Didn't you hear that?

Uncle Bernard!

You'd be surprised how many opportunities

I get right here, even at my age,

for nice little intimate chats with attractive, young men.

She goes and ruins everything, always.

I must have been out of my tiny mind

to let her put money into the business.

My business, you know. Not hers.

Would you like me to open them for you?

Now, who's gonna foot the bill for this, then?

Have this one on me.

Five, dear.

Thank you.

Pipi...

This, er...

generous gesture

doesn't alter the fact that you're making your friend...

very unhappy.

Every time he meets a nice, attractive, young boy,

the most promising, the most delicious contact

comes to nothing,

thanks to your vulgar appearance.

Pardon me for saying so,

but you stink.

And your face makes even the kindest-hearted of men

long to sink a boot into it.

You've reduced your friend to despair simply by your continual presence,

so alter yourself, Pipi. It shouldn't be difficult.

You only have yourself to tackle.

Go, if need be, to the whores,

or lie down in front of a truck. But see to it,

when I come back,

your desire to shine has been reduced to normal proportions.

That your laugh, your speech, your behaviour are cultivated.

Ensure that you are changed beyond recognition.

Only in that way can we save your friend

from destroying himself, and me from bitter...

disappointment.

You don't lose a child like a handkerchief.

Winnie!

Winnie!

Winnie!

Winnie!

Oh, for goodness' sake, don't cry like that, Winnie.

Why did you go away, Uncle Bernard?

I didn't go away.

I just went to buy some cigarettes, that's all.

Why didn't you tell me? I couldn't see you.

What have you got in your pocket?

Bottles of lemonade?

No.

But I have brought you something special.

Something you'll be very pleased with.

You know what I can hear it saying, Winnie?

Is there a voice, then?

Oh, yes.

Yes, that sweet, soft voice saying that you...

Nothing. It's nonsense.

Isn't there a voice, then?

I can hear it too, Uncle Bernard.

What's it saying, then?

That Uncle Bernard's the sweetest uncle in the world.

You'd do better to drop that, Winnie.

Your affection won't stand up to time, anyway.

People will tell you nasty stories about me,

and, in the end...

you'll believe them, too.

My cloak is of gold,

but only to those with eyes to see it.

All the world's dirtiness will leave me unstained.

But who is capable of noticing that nowadays?

What do people understand of anxiety?

The enemy has advanced,

irresistibly, with the tide.

Democracy is already tottering.

Decadent capitalism imperialism is in dire danger.

But, by an incredible effort,

accompanied by superhuman sacrifices

which threaten to dislocate the comfortable existence

of farmer and labourer alike,

we have succeeded in pushing back the enemy hordes!

I, Bernard, failure...

...layabout, society's pain in the ass,

have it in my power

to rescue this unique de-Christianised culture

from destruction!

May God be on his side

and bless the casting of the atomic hand grenade,

with which we will put an end to another,

so many lives!

Whee!

The world is for war, and rumours of war!

Harvests fail, and family doctors sit, once again,

with their hands in their hair,

confronted with yet another incurable disease!

Boom!

Boom!

- Boom! - Boom!

Do it again, Uncle Bernard!

Do it again!

Wait a minute, then.

First, drink another bottle of beer.

Are you using just the one chair?

We have no wish to use any chair at all.

Well, you're sitting in it, therefore you're using it.

Nobody gets anything for nothing, you know.

Come on, Winnie.

We'll come and sit down here again as soon as this gentleman's left us.

Oh, you will, will you?

Well, you won't, you know.

You'll have to pay for already having used a chair so far.

You've been sitting in it.

Nobody gets anything for nothing.

Listen,

have you been walking all day long in the rain?

Oh, don't lie, because I can see that you haven't.

Just go back quietly where you came from.

Go and sit there on your shrivelled, cold hands,

and stop making a nuisance of yourself.

Everywhere I go,

I meet with people whom I'm obliged to talk to,

although they're beneath me, simply because they ask of me

what is not mine to give.

You will not get any money out of me,

and kindly do not force me to enter into a conversation

I have not invited.

You'll pay if I say so. I've got to have that money.

Nobody gets anything for nothing, you know.

You'd throw your glass around, and you...

you sit guzzling beer in my chair.

What are you up to with that poor little child, huh?

Ah, you skunk!

May that remark be forgiven you in the next world, Grandpa.

But right now, in this one, I am gonna knock your teeth in.

You see the sand?

The wind leaves its traces.

But if I were to strike you dead, you'd be forgotten the very next season.

There's no-one cares for you, is there?

- Uncle Bernard, let's go. - I'll bury you in that hole over there!

Come on, Uncle Bernard, let's go.

Next year, the children will play with your shinbones.

Bugger off!

No, wait! Wait a minute! Wait a minute, chief.

How much do I owe you?

One and six.

I let the tickets fall over here somewhere.

Oh, here they are.

Wait a minute!

Puny creature though you are,

you, too, bear the stamp of the Divine,

even though your sun is gradually setting,

once and for all.

Hang onto that chair, or you'll fall!

Er... What are you up to now?!

So, you see what acting the Lord leads to.

Complete and utter subjection of the occupant of a beach chair.

May God be with you, friend.

Me too! Me too, Uncle Bernard!

- What do you want? - Put your boot on my neck.

Time for a conference, Winnie.

Shall we go up on the promenade in a minute or two?

Okay, Uncle Bernard. Can we go to the funfair?

So, she wants to go to the funfair.

I want to go to the blue one.

So, she wants to go to the blue one.

Please, Uncle Bernard, come with me.

Out of the question.

There's no-one else driving. You'll have the whole place to yourself.

Come on.

Hey!

Bernie!

Hey, that's great, meeting you here!

Hey, Bernie, what are you doing here, eh?

Out for a walk with my little girl.

I presume this is your wife and child?

Yes, this is Tonie.

You'd better put a scarf around your hair,

otherwise it will soon be looking as if we've been spitting in it.

Winnie! Take that little boy's hand.

Tonie, look after the children. And, by the way,

are you aware that you have a damned interesting husband,

who writes marvellous poetry?

Come on, Nicholas.

You came out here, I suppose,

to get a breath of fresh air and inspiration.

- That's it. You're right. - Nicholas...

How come you're the owner of a car, you rascal?

You have been throwing sand in people's eyes!

What do you do for a living?

Teacher.

A scandalous profession.

Especially for a poet.

Yes, but I have a wife and child. Huh!

- You're responsible for them. - Oh, nonsense, Nicholas!

A man like you doesn't need to marry.

'Course, a woman like that thinks it's something very special

to share life with a poet.

But, come now, be honest.

Is that woman really such a blessing to us?

You should... You should live in your poems.

Now, you said just that in one of your poems,

and so well, too.

Which one was that?

Oh, it was...

such a long time ago. Very beautiful. Fresh.

Sensitive.

You mustn't think ill of me

if I can't quite remember offhand how the lines went.

You're so productive.

The poet is the sky.

The sea.

The countryside.

Ah, the poet is the...

the universe!

- I wanna go! I wanna go! - The sole thing that matters is

decay, decline.

The authentic truth.

The thing is... The sole thing that matters is...

to realise, to recognise.

Hmm?

All the rest is trash.

The thing that matters is...

the poetry.

Don't you agree, hmm?

Nicholas, you're a highly complicated personality.

You won't be offended if there are times

when I can't quite follow you?

You must tell me when you want me to clarify anything.

Poets will always have to demolish barriers to understanding.

Nicholas...

I imagine that, if after a poet was...

well, say twenty,

he'd have to have quite an extraordinary talent.

Now, as I listened to your monotonous voice,

simply laden with a remarkable dullness,

typical of your modesty...

Rather like a jamming station.

An interruptible "ooh", "aah", "whoo-oo-ooh".

One doesn't have to listen to it. Makes itself felt anyway.

You are right.

A jamming station.

Ah-ooh-ah!

That's a splendid image. I'll remember that one.

It's so very... Greek.

The drink we put back that last time, huh?

A happy memory.

Ah.

We'll have to get back to the promenade now,

otherwise we'll shortly come to one or two joints

where I'd prefer not to show my face.

Are we going home now?

You stay here a minute or two with your boy,

and I'll just drive with Nicholas and Winnie

to a nice little place I know.

You see, Winnie's been out the whole day long in the rain,

- and I'm afraid she might catch a chill. - Yes, I know, but...

The place I'm thinking of is only a stone's throw from here.

Nicholas will be back before you've noticed he's gone.

You'll come straight back, won't you, Nicholas?

Yes, yes, I'll come straight back.

- Nearly there. - It goes well, huh?

Yeah. More rain.

Right, slow down.

Slow down!

Stop here. That's it, there.

Ah, looks like a dump to me.

Why do you want to come to this one, eh?

There are a dozen better ones in this street.

This bar, Nicholas,

is unique.

Looks pretty uninviting from the outside, but you haven't seen the worst yet.

It's only when one gets inside,

one realises just how filthy it is.

No jukebox,

no radio,

and no service charge. This is the place for us, Nicholas.

The outcasts. The one and only place for us.

- You are right, Bernie. - Yeah.

I'll just go and get Tonie and the kid, huh?

You're not leaving till you've had a drink on me.

Can I stay in the car?

- Yeah, why don't you let her stay? - All right, then.

But keep your fingers off the knobs, huh?

Jesus!

Ah, no beer for me. Gimme a gin.

I'm waiting for the delivery man to call.

Could be any time now.

Bottoms up, Nicholas.

That was on me.

Now, you'd better get that wife of yours.

Hey! Hey!

Poets are susceptible creatures

who often lead their friends to despair.

They're so preoccupied, listening to their inner voices,

that, all too often, they mistake another's voice

for one of their own.

To prevent that happening, Nicholas,

just hang on to your watch, to make sure some woman or other

doesn't make you come to an ignoble decision

which you'd only regret later on.

Stop acting the fool, Bernie. Of course I'll come back.

Your anxiety to have it back has made me think.

I am convinced, of course, that you will come back,

but are you afraid, perhaps, that you'll find

me and your watch gone when you do?

Well, as usual, the truth will lie somewhere in between,

so let's bring someone else into it, shall we?

Hey.

Would you give this back to this gentleman here when he returns?

He's just got to go and get his money. Left it behind.

Hey, but I thought you said this round was on you?

Merely a figure of speech, Nicholas,

to keep mutual misunderstanding out of our relationship, you know.

I'll be seeing you then, Bernie.

Oh, yes.

Here we are again. In another hole, talking to myself.

I took that little girl with me.

Who is she, by the way? Some niece of yours?

- Where have you left the children? - In the car.

Oh.

Couldn't we sit at a table?

These stools look a bit risky to me.

I say, I say, I say.

I've got my purse with me, sir.

That's right. Can we have some beer?

Now come and sit down and make yourself comfy with me.

Here, listen. Listen to this. Listen to this.

Desperate tugboat, through hostile mists.

Like shoals of fish, my poems swim...

into my mouth.

Into the gaping cave of my mouth.

All that...

Go on, go on.

The...

Well, go on, Nicholas.

Dumb today.

Today...

no words will come.

Dumb.

Today, the words get stuck in my throat.

Dumb, dumb.

The poem dies today,

in the tangled trash-bin of my throat.

Dumb, dumb...

dumb.

Dumb?

I, I, I, I.

Me, me, me, me.

I... I... Me... Me...

I... I... Me...

I... I... Me...

I... I... Me... Me...

You know what I call that one?

"All About Nicholas."

"The Beginning and the End."

You see, here the poet is both the subject and the object of the poem.

But it's the rhythm that really matters.

I... I... Me...

I... I... Me...

I... I... Me... Me...

I am a stranger here.

I sit alone.

I tower erect...

as a clarinet.

I sing my tune.

But of my notes, none.

None finds an echo

in this silence of stone

in which I drown.

In this silence of stone in which I drown!

Drown!

Will you stop jumping around in that chair, for God's sake?!

Go on. Go on, Nicholas.

No, forget it.

It's fascinating.

Oh?

Another time.

Now, you see what I mean.

You shouldn't be so sensitive.

Don't cry. Want to play?

Want to play with my shell?

I can hear the sea.

Melissa? I'm so glad you're in.

Listen, it was so intimate this morning, you and I together.

Were you hoping I'd go a bit further?

Nicholas?

Nicholas!

You have now reached the first, and most difficult stage

on the road to perfect drunkenness.

You feel blue, and your drink tastes ghastly,

and what you'd like to do most of all

is crawl into bed, and sleep.

Now is the time to forge ahead, my boy.

There is only one thing for it.

He's got to drive in a minute or two.

That is a pity.

You'll probably have to push that little car of yours

all the way home.

Nicholas? Did you hear what Tonie was saying?

That didn't take him long. I thought he was used to drinking.

Oh, he's often like that.

Well, it's better for a man to drink than experiment with drugs.

- D'you think so? - Mmm.

They've smoked marijuana now and then at our place.

Nicholas wanted to see what would happen.

He said all the American poets do it.

"In the land of the blind...

"the one-eyed man is king."

For those drugs, you're always meeting those furtive young types

whispering together in corners about the secret things they get up to.

Well, I think it's all a bit creepy.

They sit there, so serious, pulling away at a cigarette,

and then letting the smoke out so slowly,

and then inhaling again.

Then they start acting so silly.

Tonie...

you're sweet, and you're good to look at.

And you have nice ways.

And, of course, you cook marvellous meals

from the pittance Nicholas allows you for the housekeeping.

But the main thing is...

you're so gentle.

Our paths failed to cross.

Let's make the most of what's left for us.

Stop that.

That's enough.

Only if you promise I can come and look you up.

Oh, it's impossible. The... The people and Jonathan.

If we do it the way they do it in French farces,

it'll have its humorous side.

Then, if we're caught,

we can be sure of hearty laughter.

The husband wore horns!

What are you both whispering about there?!

I hope you've not been getting up to anything?

Why, look, Nicholas, I can see you're wearing wool next to your skin.

Doesn't that set off irritation and itching and red patches?

Damn and blast!

Is it an unironed shirt?

Yes.

Poor Nicholas.

Then I'm afraid it's beyond repair.

It's impossible to mend that fine weave with any needle.

It always leaves lumps where cotton pulls the edges together.

Now, if only you were called Louis, Nicholas...

...it'd pass for a monogram.

Just my damn luck!

That will do for today.

Tonie...

I advise you to fill your husband with coffee.

And you, Nicholas, be kind and gentle

to your little wife.

She will call the barkeeper and restore freshness

to your pedantic little mind.

She's not doing it out of love at first sight,

but try to appreciate it all the same.

Have you got enough money to pay with?

Think so.

Nicholas has to buy the petrol tomorrow.

Mmm.

Are you leaving already, then?

I'll have a hangover tomorrow,

but I'll come and have lunch with you the day after.

All right.

You do mean it, don't you, Bernard?

Try to be sick.

Goodbye, everybody!

It's been a pleasure.

What a long time you've been, Uncle Bernard.

Careful, or you'll wake Jonny.

Are they all right?

Nicholas is making a dreadful fuss. Beat it, as quick as you can.

He's after a fight with you.

Just imagine if the sun were shining,

how only the upper half of the old houses

would still be illuminated.

Turning corners, we'll be greeted by yellow light.

Like a hail of bullets, concentrated fire.

Aim low.

Oh, Winnie...

Winnie, it will be the death of us.

- Are we going home? - Hmm?

Yes.

Yes, we ought to go.

But don't you think I should call your mother first? Hmm?

- You see that place over there? - Mm-hmm.

Well, they must have a telephone.

Why don't you wait here nicely, and count,

and see how long it's gonna take me to make a call. Hmm?

All right.

One, two, three,

four, five, six, seven,

eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen,

sixteen, seventeen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two,

twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, twenty-eight,

twenty-nine, thirty...

thirty-one, thirty-two, thirty-three, thirty-four, thirty-five, thirty-six...

thirty-seven, thirty-eight, thirty-nine, forty...

...one hundred, two hundred, three hundred, four hundred...

five hundred and six hundred and seven hundred and eight hundred and nine hun...

You work abroad?

Yes. Ghana, Africa.

Oh. Then you're on leave, I suppose?

- Got the wife and kids with you? - I'm not married.

Oho, la la!

Then the Negresses would have had a hot time of it, I suppose?

Hmm?

Insiders tell me that the atmosphere in the tropics

has a marked effect on male potency.

- Oh, those kids. You can forget that. - Anyone care for a throw?

Oh, oh, not me! I always win.

There was a time when I had to keep myself by dicing.

Mmm. On the big stow.

Mississippi steamboats, the sound of my name,

still like the crack...

of a whip.

Two...

I've nothing.

Maybe they could make dice of fur?

In their own way.

Simple as that.

- I can piss off... - ? Sleeping on pavements

Come on, dear. Pull your hood up.

Don't be silly, you'll get soaking wet. Come on.

Hey, you! Don't go to sleep in here!

Now, one moment.

Don't be under any illusion about that head of black hair there.

The colour is mere camouflage!

Oh, think of the young Negresses back in Ghana.

Every one of them's got a better bosom than that!

And without any calculations either, too.

Come on, my boy. Home with you!

Where's the person

who belongs with that poor child that's standing outside?

What's the matter?

I think somebody should call the police.

What a time to be left out in the rain like this!

You ought to be ashamed of yourself...

Terrible man. Take her home. Put some clean, dry clothes on.

...ashamed of himself...

I should if I were you, Daddy.

Where can I find a taxi?

The stand in the square.

And how's Winnie feeling now?

All right, thanks, Uncle Bernard.

Are we going home now?

I feel a bit tired.

I've got a lovely shell, haven't I?

Hello, friend.

Listen, er...

I've just had a relative come home

after an exhausting and highly dangerous trip abroad.

Oh, his experiences are too numerous

for me to tell you all about them here and now,

but what matters, at the moment,

is that he's been burnt all over his body

by the heat of the sun,

and is prey to attacks of malaria.

He...

He asked me to come out and fetch some gin

- to ease his suffering a little. - You a customer of mine?

Indeed I am!

My wife always orders the crates of beer

that I need so badly from you.

On doctor's prescription, of course. I suffer from a...

a severe shortage of Vitamin B.

I don't believe a word of it.

Never mind.

I'll serve you.

And hide it well away, if you don't mind.

Mmm.

You know, the regulations.

Mmm.

You wouldn't object, would you,

if we were to consume a bottle of beer here?

Give Winnie some lemonade...

and take something for yourself.

I like to relax a bit in the evening.

'Course there's always something could be done.

You know, I'm thinking of clearing out that window again tonight.

Mmm?

You mustn't forget, you're on your legs all day long,

helping customers.

Oh, the owners of small businesses

always have to work harder than anyone else,

and get the worst of it.

Aah!

As I say, in my case, for instance, I have a thriving, er...

greengrocers' business.

And what do I get out of all my slaving? Nothing.

Well, all right, if need be,

I can afford to buy myself a new car once a year,

and I never take less than three months' holiday, but then...

And then I can reckon on having to work till seven every evening, and that's...

that's, er... long hours.

Specially in the greengrocery trade

and in the winter months.

And I'm obliged to be up first thing in the morning, too,

thanks to the unreliability of the sort of shop assistants you get nowadays,

who's got their fist in the till the moment your back's turned.

Look! My beer's finished!

But not my torturing thirst.

Mmm.

Oh...

What a sweet child.

There used to be a little girl with her legs in irons

in my family, too.

It'll all come right in the end.

I'm...

coming back for that gin in ten minutes.

I'm just going to eat a sandwich next door.

You ought to have a soused cherry.

You'd had a few drinks before you came in here, I could see.

- Mmm? - All right.

It suddenly comes over a little sudden, doesn't it sometimes, sir?

Quietly does it.

Come along, now.

Now, you just ring three times.

- I'll open up for you. - Mmm.

This is my hour, Winnie.

It's glorious.

Glorious!

Oh...

Oh, God!

God have mercy!

Winnie.

Winnie.

Where are you, Winnie?!

Winnie! Winnie!

Winnie! Winnie! Winnie!

Winnie! Winnie!

Winnie! Winnie!

Winnie!

Winnie!

Winnie!

What is he doing?

Oh, must be one of those madmen practising for the Olympic Games.

By the look of it.

What is he saying?

"Winning!" Cheering himself up as he goes.

Winnie!

Winnie...

Winnie, please come and help me!

Winnie...

Winnie!

Winnie! Help me!

Winnie!

Winnie...

Winnie!

Winnie...

Oh! Oh, Winnie! Winnie!

Oh, Winnie. Winnie, I'm sorry.

Don't cry, Uncle Bernard.

- Please don't cry. - We had a really nice time, my baby.

I'm sorry.

Everything will be all right. You'll see. You'll feel better.

Winnie! Taxi...

We'll find a taxi, and we'll go home.

- Ta... Taxi and home... - Yes, taxi and home.

Oh! Sorry.

Uncle Bernard?

Did you hurt yourself?

Uncle Bernard!

Uncle Bernard!

Did you hurt yourself, Uncle Bernard?

Uncle Bernard!

Uncle Bernard!

Uncle Bernard!

Uncle Bernard!

Uncle Bernard!

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