All language subtitles for The Golden Girls - 03x13 - The Artist.
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1
00:00:02,916 --> 00:00:07,182
(music) Thank you for being a friend
2
00:00:07,254 --> 00:00:11,190
(music) Traveled down the road and back again
3
00:00:11,258 --> 00:00:12,657
(music) Your heart is true
4
00:00:12,726 --> 00:00:16,662
(music) You're a pal and a confidante
5
00:00:17,664 --> 00:00:21,657
(music) And if you threw a party
6
00:00:21,735 --> 00:00:26,001
(music) Invited everyone you knew
7
00:00:26,073 --> 00:00:30,009
(music) You would see
The biggest gift would be from me
8
00:00:30,077 --> 00:00:32,910
(music) And the card attached would say
9
00:00:32,979 --> 00:00:38,940
(music) Thank you for being a friend (music)
10
00:00:59,906 --> 00:01:02,875
Well, hi, Ma. How was bingo?
11
00:01:02,943 --> 00:01:05,707
Judge for yourself.
12
00:01:05,779 --> 00:01:07,940
Ma, you don't have any clothes on.
13
00:01:08,782 --> 00:01:11,444
Tell me about it.
I just walked ten blocks.
14
00:01:11,518 --> 00:01:14,078
I got a belly button full of tweed.
15
00:01:14,154 --> 00:01:16,486
Ma, what the hell happened?
16
00:01:16,556 --> 00:01:19,787
In the middle of bingo,
Murray Hazeltine sits down.
17
00:01:19,860 --> 00:01:22,590
He's the big practical joker
at the center.
18
00:01:22,662 --> 00:01:26,223
Believe me, Howie Mandel is funnier.
19
00:01:26,299 --> 00:01:29,666
Anyway, he tells me to sniff
his carnation for good luck.
20
00:01:29,736 --> 00:01:33,103
- I take one whiff, and bingo.
- He squirted your dress with ink.
21
00:01:33,173 --> 00:01:36,199
Actually, it was Del Monte prune juice.
22
00:01:36,276 --> 00:01:38,506
It's free at the center. It's a come-on.
23
00:01:38,578 --> 00:01:42,674
They make their real money
on the powdered toilet seat rentals.
24
00:01:42,749 --> 00:01:44,444
What happened to your clothes?
25
00:01:44,518 --> 00:01:46,611
Murray took them to have them cleaned.
26
00:01:46,686 --> 00:01:48,620
I still can't believe it happened.
27
00:01:48,688 --> 00:01:50,622
I've never been so humiliated.
28
00:01:50,690 --> 00:01:52,988
There's no reason
for you to be embarrassed.
29
00:01:53,059 --> 00:01:54,788
He plays tricks on everybody.
30
00:01:54,861 --> 00:01:56,795
I'm talking about on my way home.
31
00:01:56,863 --> 00:02:00,264
My belt came loose
in front of a construction site.
32
00:02:01,768 --> 00:02:05,033
Nobody whistled,
and two guys went home sick.
33
00:02:08,475 --> 00:02:10,909
- Hi, girls.
- Oh, hi, Rose.
34
00:02:10,977 --> 00:02:14,811
Sophia, what are you doing with
that heavy coat on inside the house?
35
00:02:18,118 --> 00:02:21,679
- You tell me, Rose.
- Ma!
36
00:02:21,755 --> 00:02:24,246
Dorothy, was Sophia naked just now,
37
00:02:24,324 --> 00:02:27,623
or does her dress really need ironing?
38
00:02:32,899 --> 00:02:36,062
Hello, girls. Dorothy,
Rose, you remember Laszlo.
39
00:02:36,136 --> 00:02:40,004
Of course. Laszlo,
the artist from your museum.
40
00:02:40,073 --> 00:02:43,099
Oh, we really enjoyed
your lecture on modern sculpture.
41
00:02:43,176 --> 00:02:45,371
I didn't think anyone
was paying attention.
42
00:02:45,445 --> 00:02:48,278
Oh, we sure were. Especially Dorothy.
43
00:02:48,348 --> 00:02:50,282
She talked about taking up sculpting.
44
00:02:50,350 --> 00:02:52,944
- Really?
- Oh, no, I didn't.
45
00:02:53,019 --> 00:02:54,850
Yes, you did.
46
00:02:54,921 --> 00:02:59,551
You said you'd like to help him mold
his clay or buff his marble anytime.
47
00:03:01,228 --> 00:03:03,458
Rose, you're such a kidder.
48
00:03:06,533 --> 00:03:08,660
Won't you sit down.
49
00:03:10,036 --> 00:03:12,231
He is gorgeous, isn't he, girls?
50
00:03:12,305 --> 00:03:16,241
There's not a woman at the museum
who hasn't been after him.
51
00:03:16,309 --> 00:03:18,243
Women can be so silly.
52
00:03:18,311 --> 00:03:21,712
They think because you're an artist,
you must be a great lover.
53
00:03:24,017 --> 00:03:26,281
Because you're a master in the studio,
54
00:03:26,353 --> 00:03:28,548
you must be a master in the bedroom.
55
00:03:30,657 --> 00:03:35,026
They think because you can work a piece
of clay into a piece of beautiful art,
56
00:03:35,095 --> 00:03:39,122
you can also work a woman's body
into fits of ecstasy and passion
57
00:03:39,199 --> 00:03:42,498
and total screaming abandon.
58
00:03:50,310 --> 00:03:53,677
Would anybody else like
something cold to drink?
59
00:03:53,747 --> 00:03:55,112
- I would.
- I would.
60
00:03:55,181 --> 00:03:57,115
Blanche, I really should be going.
61
00:03:57,183 --> 00:03:59,276
Thank you again for the ride home.
62
00:03:59,352 --> 00:04:00,683
It was my pleasure.
63
00:04:00,754 --> 00:04:02,551
Good-bye, Blanche.
64
00:04:02,622 --> 00:04:04,715
Good-bye, Dorothy.
65
00:04:04,791 --> 00:04:07,555
Good-bye, Rose.
66
00:04:07,627 --> 00:04:09,959
Good-bye, Blanche again.
67
00:04:10,030 --> 00:04:12,498
It was my pleasure, ladies. Good-bye.
68
00:04:12,566 --> 00:04:14,557
Laszlo, I'll see you tomorrow.
69
00:04:14,634 --> 00:04:16,124
Indeed.
70
00:04:18,538 --> 00:04:22,702
That sure sounded as if you
and Laszlo have something going.
71
00:04:22,776 --> 00:04:24,471
Maybe.
72
00:04:24,544 --> 00:04:25,977
You're not telling us?
73
00:04:26,046 --> 00:04:28,378
All right. All right.
You twisted my arm.
74
00:04:28,448 --> 00:04:32,043
Girls, Laszlo's asked me
to pose for one of his sculptures.
75
00:04:32,118 --> 00:04:34,416
- You're kidding.
- No, I'm not. Look here.
76
00:04:34,487 --> 00:04:37,012
He gave me the key to his building.
77
00:04:37,090 --> 00:04:39,081
I have my first session tomorrow.
78
00:04:39,159 --> 00:04:40,148
Wow!
79
00:04:40,226 --> 00:04:42,194
He's always wanted to do a piece
80
00:04:42,262 --> 00:04:45,527
on the mature woman,
and he thinks I'm perfect for it.
81
00:04:45,599 --> 00:04:50,195
And the best part is, he's gonna have it
displayed at his big show.
82
00:04:50,270 --> 00:04:53,899
I can't believe you're actually
going through with this.
83
00:04:53,974 --> 00:04:56,033
Of course I am, Rose.
84
00:04:56,109 --> 00:04:58,737
Laszlo is a world-famous sculptor.
85
00:04:58,812 --> 00:05:01,838
This is my opportunity
to be immortalized forever
86
00:05:01,915 --> 00:05:04,782
in a classic work of art.
87
00:05:05,619 --> 00:05:09,316
That's what she said when that
shoe salesman took Polaroids of her
88
00:05:09,389 --> 00:05:11,880
in the backseat of his Volare.
89
00:05:22,435 --> 00:05:24,528
- Good morning, Ma.
- Good morning.
90
00:05:24,604 --> 00:05:26,595
I poured you a glass of orange juice.
91
00:05:26,673 --> 00:05:29,141
Thank you. It was very nice of you.
92
00:05:31,344 --> 00:05:33,608
Ma! Is this a dribble glass?
93
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:38,379
Yeah. It works better when all that pulp
doesn't clog up the dribble hole.
94
00:05:38,451 --> 00:05:40,715
Why did you do this?
95
00:05:40,787 --> 00:05:43,813
Murray Hazeltine.
He won't quit with the practical jokes.
96
00:05:43,890 --> 00:05:46,552
I'm gonna give him
a taste of his own medicine.
97
00:05:46,626 --> 00:05:48,287
Do I look like Murray Hazeltine?
98
00:05:48,361 --> 00:05:52,525
A little around the eyebrows.
But that's not the point.
99
00:05:52,599 --> 00:05:56,797
I've got to have the perfect gag
before I spring it on him.
100
00:05:57,904 --> 00:06:00,395
Aw, I'm sorry, pussycat.
101
00:06:00,473 --> 00:06:01,906
No hard feelings?
102
00:06:01,975 --> 00:06:04,500
Oh, okay, Ma. No hard feelings.
103
00:06:04,577 --> 00:06:06,204
- [Buzz]
- Ah!
104
00:06:08,548 --> 00:06:12,279
You know, I could really
get tired of this.
105
00:06:13,019 --> 00:06:15,249
Good morning.
Dorothy, you're a mess.
106
00:06:15,321 --> 00:06:17,346
I just spilled orange juice on myself.
107
00:06:17,424 --> 00:06:19,984
Oh, really? I didn't notice that.
108
00:06:22,862 --> 00:06:25,956
Pour Blanche some orange juice, Ma.
109
00:06:26,032 --> 00:06:29,559
I could use that.
I might be coming down with a cold.
110
00:06:29,636 --> 00:06:33,003
Doesn't come as a surprise.
You've spent every afternoon this week
111
00:06:33,073 --> 00:06:35,871
standing stark naked
in a cold, windy studio.
112
00:06:35,942 --> 00:06:39,105
Oh, I didn't catch cold
at Laszlo's studio, Dorothy.
113
00:06:39,179 --> 00:06:41,909
Laszlo keeps me too warm for that.
114
00:06:41,981 --> 00:06:44,211
Too warm and too tingly.
115
00:06:44,284 --> 00:06:46,912
Too warm and too tingly and too hot.
116
00:06:46,986 --> 00:06:49,454
Well, have some juice anyway, Blanche.
117
00:06:49,522 --> 00:06:51,786
I'd feel better.
118
00:06:51,858 --> 00:06:53,917
Not that we actually do anything.
119
00:06:55,028 --> 00:06:58,395
In the studio. Laszlo's been
a perfect gentleman so far.
120
00:06:59,399 --> 00:07:03,563
I just stand there in front of him
in all my luscious nakedness,
121
00:07:03,636 --> 00:07:06,070
and somehow he manages
to suppress the urge
122
00:07:06,139 --> 00:07:08,630
to throw me on the floor and ravage me.
123
00:07:08,708 --> 00:07:12,735
If he throws you on the floor, you'll
both end up in the apartment below.
124
00:07:15,081 --> 00:07:17,072
Drink up, Blanche.
125
00:07:17,751 --> 00:07:19,241
[Doorbell rings]
126
00:07:19,819 --> 00:07:21,753
That must be him now.
127
00:07:21,821 --> 00:07:25,985
I just have to get my jacket.
We're driving to the museum together.
128
00:07:37,837 --> 00:07:39,964
Coming, Laszlo.
129
00:07:42,842 --> 00:07:45,572
Hi, Laszlo. Come in.
Blanche went to get her jacket.
130
00:07:45,645 --> 00:07:47,078
Thank you, Rose.
131
00:07:47,147 --> 00:07:50,116
We are so excited
about what you two are doing.
132
00:07:50,183 --> 00:07:53,175
- It's gonna turn out great.
- I wish I was so sure.
133
00:07:53,253 --> 00:07:55,721
- What do you mean?
- I'm having second thoughts.
134
00:07:55,789 --> 00:07:57,222
About what?
135
00:07:57,290 --> 00:08:01,192
When I met Blanche, I thought
she would be the perfect model.
136
00:08:01,261 --> 00:08:04,162
You know, sexy, sassy, exciting.
137
00:08:04,230 --> 00:08:07,859
But now I'm thinking there are
other qualities I wish to capture.
138
00:08:07,934 --> 00:08:10,630
- Like what?
- Innocence.
139
00:08:10,703 --> 00:08:13,763
Wholesomeness. Naiveté.
140
00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:18,573
I see a woman with a fuller figure,
wider hips, wider eyes.
141
00:08:19,879 --> 00:08:22,347
Rose.
142
00:08:27,387 --> 00:08:28,445
Laszlo.
143
00:08:28,521 --> 00:08:30,580
Rose, I have to ask you something.
144
00:08:30,657 --> 00:08:32,454
I know what it is.
145
00:08:32,525 --> 00:08:34,720
You're gonna ask me to pose for you.
146
00:08:34,794 --> 00:08:37,092
- No, I'm not.
- Oh.
147
00:08:38,198 --> 00:08:40,029
Oh. I'm so embarrassed.
148
00:08:40,099 --> 00:08:43,899
That's it. That's exactly
the quality I want to capture.
149
00:08:43,970 --> 00:08:46,734
Oh, take my key, Rose.
Come to my studio.
150
00:08:46,806 --> 00:08:48,899
We will make a beautiful sculpture.
151
00:08:48,975 --> 00:08:51,773
- What about Blanche?
- I will still see her.
152
00:08:51,845 --> 00:08:53,779
She doesn't have to know about you.
153
00:08:53,847 --> 00:08:56,873
- Tomorrow morning at 10:00?
- That seems so dishonest.
154
00:08:56,950 --> 00:08:59,475
Blanche is a dear friend.
It would be a betrayal.
155
00:08:59,552 --> 00:09:02,680
Here I am, Laszlo.
Did Rose keep you entertained?
156
00:09:02,755 --> 00:09:04,279
Yes. I find her charming.
157
00:09:04,357 --> 00:09:07,952
Oh, Laszlo.
That's what I love about you.
158
00:09:08,027 --> 00:09:10,962
You can tell a bald-faced lie
and still sound sincere.
159
00:09:13,199 --> 00:09:15,190
I forgot my compact. I'll be back.
160
00:09:16,502 --> 00:09:18,629
Give me that key.
161
00:09:26,846 --> 00:09:28,575
Dorothy, I'm glad you're home.
162
00:09:28,648 --> 00:09:32,175
I was upstairs poking around the attic.
Look what I found.
163
00:09:32,252 --> 00:09:35,483
Your grandmother's antique kaleidoscope.
Here. Take a look.
164
00:09:35,555 --> 00:09:38,581
Ma, you must really think I'm stupid.
165
00:09:39,425 --> 00:09:41,552
What, we don't have an attic?
166
00:09:41,628 --> 00:09:43,562
I am not falling for this.
167
00:09:43,630 --> 00:09:45,723
It's another one
of your practical jokes.
168
00:09:45,798 --> 00:09:48,858
If I look through that,
I'll get charcoal around my eye.
169
00:09:48,935 --> 00:09:51,460
All right, Dorothy. Fine.
170
00:09:51,537 --> 00:09:55,564
Why don't we call a truce
with a nice piece of peanut brittle?
171
00:09:56,609 --> 00:10:00,170
Come on, Ma.
The peanut brittle is an even older gag
172
00:10:00,246 --> 00:10:01,907
than the kaleidoscope.
173
00:10:01,981 --> 00:10:04,211
I'll open the can, snakes will come out.
174
00:10:04,284 --> 00:10:06,149
I am too smart for you.
175
00:10:06,219 --> 00:10:09,154
I am not falling for more
of your practical jokes.
176
00:10:09,222 --> 00:10:10,814
[Air expelling]
177
00:10:24,671 --> 00:10:27,538
Except for this whoopee cushion.
178
00:10:37,583 --> 00:10:40,177
You will not believe
what happened to me today.
179
00:10:40,253 --> 00:10:43,188
I still do not believe it,
and you won't believe it.
180
00:10:43,256 --> 00:10:45,850
- What, Blanche?
- I don't wanna talk about it.
181
00:10:45,925 --> 00:10:48,120
- Hi, Blanche.
- Oh, I am so mad.
182
00:10:48,194 --> 00:10:49,559
Blanche, I can explain.
183
00:10:49,629 --> 00:10:52,860
It's got nothing to do with you.
It's Laszlo.
184
00:10:52,932 --> 00:10:55,958
I saw some of the sketches
he's been doing of me.
185
00:10:56,035 --> 00:10:59,198
He never lets me see them.
So today I found some.
186
00:10:59,272 --> 00:11:00,933
They're horrible.
187
00:11:01,007 --> 00:11:05,068
My hair's all big and frizzy.
The body's all droopy and saggy.
188
00:11:08,448 --> 00:11:11,815
The woman in those sketches is a dog.
189
00:11:13,019 --> 00:11:15,078
- Blanche.
- She's a clown.
190
00:11:15,154 --> 00:11:17,019
- Blanche.
- She's just a...
191
00:11:17,090 --> 00:11:19,024
hideous, wrinkled, old bag.
192
00:11:19,092 --> 00:11:22,357
Blanche, the woman
in those sketches is me.
193
00:11:22,428 --> 00:11:25,955
I know she sounds like you, honey,
but she's not.
194
00:11:27,967 --> 00:11:29,901
Yes, she is. Look.
195
00:11:29,969 --> 00:11:33,598
I wanted to tell you about this
all week, but I couldn't.
196
00:11:33,673 --> 00:11:35,834
I've been posing for Laszlo, too.
197
00:11:35,908 --> 00:11:38,399
Dear Lord, strike me dead
right here and now
198
00:11:38,478 --> 00:11:41,072
if that man prefers Rose Nylund over me.
199
00:11:41,147 --> 00:11:43,377
Blanche, you can't take it personally.
200
00:11:43,449 --> 00:11:47,112
Laszlo just decided he wanted
someone with more innocence.
201
00:11:47,186 --> 00:11:50,246
With more cellulite is more like it.
202
00:11:50,757 --> 00:11:52,748
- Take that back.
- I will not.
203
00:11:52,825 --> 00:11:54,656
- Yes, you will.
- I will not.
204
00:11:54,727 --> 00:11:57,093
Girls, what is going on here?
205
00:11:57,163 --> 00:11:59,859
- Rose stabbing me in the back.
- I did not.
206
00:11:59,932 --> 00:12:02,730
- She's been posing for Laszlo.
- He asked me to.
207
00:12:02,802 --> 00:12:07,205
I don't know why. He can go
to Sea World to see a naked whale.
208
00:12:10,176 --> 00:12:12,167
Or to your bathtub.
209
00:12:12,245 --> 00:12:14,213
Oh.
210
00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:17,943
Oh, that does it, missy.
All right, this means war.
211
00:12:18,017 --> 00:12:20,679
We'll both keep going.
We'll see who he picks.
212
00:12:20,753 --> 00:12:23,313
- It's gonna be me.
- It's gonna be me.
213
00:12:23,389 --> 00:12:26,847
- Girls, I can settle this.
- Tell her who it's gonna be.
214
00:12:26,926 --> 00:12:28,917
It's going to be me.
215
00:12:41,207 --> 00:12:42,401
You, too?
216
00:12:42,475 --> 00:12:43,908
He asked me last Thursday.
217
00:12:43,976 --> 00:12:45,876
Well, I am stunned.
218
00:12:45,945 --> 00:12:48,038
I'm relieved.
219
00:12:49,348 --> 00:12:50,576
Relieved?
220
00:12:50,650 --> 00:12:53,517
Sure. The woman you saw
in those horrible drawings
221
00:12:53,586 --> 00:12:55,952
must have been Dorothy.
222
00:12:59,092 --> 00:13:02,653
This has got to be one
of the worst days in my life.
223
00:13:02,728 --> 00:13:05,663
Two of my best friends
just stabbed me in the back.
224
00:13:05,731 --> 00:13:09,167
Did you really expect us
to turn Laszlo down?
225
00:13:09,235 --> 00:13:11,169
You said yourself it was a chance
226
00:13:11,237 --> 00:13:14,263
to become
"immortalized in a classic work of art."
227
00:13:14,340 --> 00:13:18,538
Horse pucky. You went
for the same reason Rose went:
228
00:13:18,611 --> 00:13:21,239
To get your hands on my man.
229
00:13:25,218 --> 00:13:27,846
What exactly makes you
think he's your man?
230
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:30,650
- Who?
- Maybe that I found him first.
231
00:13:30,723 --> 00:13:34,124
- Who?
- He dumped you for me.
232
00:13:34,193 --> 00:13:35,820
Who?
233
00:13:35,895 --> 00:13:38,159
- Laszlo, Ma.
- Who's Laszlo?
234
00:13:38,231 --> 00:13:42,099
A Hungarian artist
we've all been posing nude for.
235
00:13:46,005 --> 00:13:49,805
In the future, a simple "none of
your business, Sophia" will suffice.
236
00:13:52,445 --> 00:13:54,003
Tell me honestly, Blanche.
237
00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:57,481
Do you have reason to believe
Laszlo might be interested in you?
238
00:13:57,550 --> 00:14:00,144
Well, just the fact
that on numerous occasions
239
00:14:00,219 --> 00:14:04,349
he has referred to me as his "greatest
artistic inspiration ever, bar none."
240
00:14:04,423 --> 00:14:06,050
- Me, too.
- Me, too.
241
00:14:06,125 --> 00:14:08,116
Oh, let's face it, girls.
242
00:14:08,194 --> 00:14:11,561
We have no idea
which one of us Laszlo wants to use.
243
00:14:11,631 --> 00:14:13,599
I think it's obvious, Dorothy.
244
00:14:13,666 --> 00:14:15,759
The man is an artist. He has taste.
245
00:14:15,835 --> 00:14:20,033
He cannot help but pick the woman with
the most grace, style, femininity...
246
00:14:20,106 --> 00:14:21,937
[air expelling]
247
00:14:33,085 --> 00:14:36,077
I wonder if he knows
which one of us he wants.
248
00:14:36,155 --> 00:14:39,613
He told me that I had something
that Blanche didn't have.
249
00:14:39,692 --> 00:14:42,525
He probably told Dorothy
she had something that I don't.
250
00:14:42,595 --> 00:14:47,225
- Maybe he's back to Blanche.
- I think he's been very unfair.
251
00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:50,098
We ought to stop going.
Then he'd have no sculpture.
252
00:14:50,169 --> 00:14:52,194
- It would serve him right.
- Yes.
253
00:14:52,271 --> 00:14:55,434
Let's make a pact.
None of us will go back.
254
00:14:55,508 --> 00:14:58,375
We'll seal it by you
giving me your keys,
255
00:14:58,444 --> 00:15:01,811
and I'll keep all three of them
safe in my hope chest.
256
00:15:01,881 --> 00:15:06,011
How do we know that you
and your hope chest won't keep going?
257
00:15:11,090 --> 00:15:12,648
There's only one thing to do.
258
00:15:12,725 --> 00:15:15,956
Go to Laszlo and make him
decide who he wants.
259
00:15:16,028 --> 00:15:17,962
- Fine with me.
- Fine with me, too.
260
00:15:18,030 --> 00:15:19,691
Then let's go.
261
00:15:21,534 --> 00:15:23,729
- Where's everybody going?
- We'll be back.
262
00:15:23,803 --> 00:15:26,738
Ma, why don't you sit right over here
263
00:15:26,806 --> 00:15:28,467
and read your magazine, okay?
264
00:15:28,541 --> 00:15:30,805
Oh. Okay.
265
00:15:35,581 --> 00:15:37,606
Don't try to outsmart me, Dorothy.
266
00:15:37,683 --> 00:15:42,552
I got the mind of a fox
and the butt muscles of Baryshnikov.
267
00:15:52,665 --> 00:15:54,155
[Knocking]
268
00:15:57,003 --> 00:15:58,527
Coming.
269
00:15:59,972 --> 00:16:03,271
Oh, Blanche. Hello.
Come in. Come in.
270
00:16:03,342 --> 00:16:07,506
You've brought your friends to see
my studio. What a pleasant surprise.
271
00:16:07,580 --> 00:16:09,411
Laszlo, we all know.
272
00:16:09,482 --> 00:16:11,416
We figured it all out this afternoon.
273
00:16:11,484 --> 00:16:14,783
So, I am caught at last. What can I say?
274
00:16:14,854 --> 00:16:18,813
"Blanche and Rose, get out.
Dorothy, it's you I want."
275
00:16:18,891 --> 00:16:20,051
Dorothy.
276
00:16:20,126 --> 00:16:21,753
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
277
00:16:21,827 --> 00:16:25,627
I've never seen him in overalls before.
278
00:16:25,698 --> 00:16:27,893
Laszlo, we came over for you to decide
279
00:16:27,967 --> 00:16:30,401
which one of us
you want for your statue.
280
00:16:30,970 --> 00:16:31,994
Rose...
281
00:16:32,071 --> 00:16:35,563
I knew it. It's me.
Walk, suckers. He wants me.
282
00:16:35,641 --> 00:16:38,041
Rose, he just wanted
to say something to you.
283
00:16:38,110 --> 00:16:42,274
I wanted to say
that I would rather not decide at all.
284
00:16:42,348 --> 00:16:45,044
But, Laszlo, you've got to.
It's the only way.
285
00:16:45,117 --> 00:16:48,245
Otherwise, it'll just end up
coming between the three of us.
286
00:16:48,321 --> 00:16:50,755
Which one of us is it gonna be?
287
00:16:50,823 --> 00:16:52,450
Dorothy here, or Rose,
288
00:16:52,525 --> 00:16:55,858
or a woman whose breasts
you once described
289
00:16:55,928 --> 00:16:58,863
as "perfect champagne glass-sized orbs
290
00:16:58,931 --> 00:17:01,126
of dancing loveliness"?
291
00:17:02,301 --> 00:17:04,531
Blanche, I did not say that.
292
00:17:04,603 --> 00:17:07,367
Well, you agreed when I said it.
293
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,203
Ladies, let me explain.
294
00:17:09,275 --> 00:17:12,472
I know I should have made
my choice long ago,
295
00:17:12,545 --> 00:17:14,843
but you each inspired me so well.
296
00:17:14,914 --> 00:17:17,348
I wish I could continue seeing you all,
297
00:17:17,416 --> 00:17:20,317
but I understand
why that is unacceptable.
298
00:17:20,386 --> 00:17:22,718
Therefore, my choice will have to be...
299
00:17:22,788 --> 00:17:24,722
Before you make your choice,
300
00:17:24,790 --> 00:17:28,590
let me say what a privilege
it has been to work with a man
301
00:17:28,661 --> 00:17:32,119
I consider to be the greatest
Hungarian sculptor of our time.
302
00:17:32,198 --> 00:17:33,495
And let me say
303
00:17:33,566 --> 00:17:37,969
if Blanche can name two other
Hungarian sculptors of any time,
304
00:17:38,037 --> 00:17:40,267
I shall eat that statue.
305
00:17:41,474 --> 00:17:43,669
What's it gonna be? Who do you choose?
306
00:17:44,577 --> 00:17:46,841
- None of you.
- None of us?
307
00:17:46,912 --> 00:17:50,040
I have enough sketches
of each of you to make my sculpture.
308
00:17:50,116 --> 00:17:53,279
When I'm ready to begin,
I will make my choice then.
309
00:17:53,352 --> 00:17:54,717
When we will find out?
310
00:17:54,787 --> 00:17:57,347
Only when the work
is unveiled at my show.
311
00:17:57,423 --> 00:18:00,415
Now, I apologize,
but this is how I must work.
312
00:18:00,493 --> 00:18:03,257
Now, ladies,
I must bid you good day.
313
00:18:07,099 --> 00:18:09,124
Laszlo, just one more thing.
314
00:18:09,201 --> 00:18:11,567
You know that famous Picasso painting,
315
00:18:11,637 --> 00:18:13,434
"Nude Woman Playing the Violin"?
316
00:18:13,506 --> 00:18:16,031
- But of course.
- Originally it was called
317
00:18:16,108 --> 00:18:17,803
"Blanche Playing the Violin."
318
00:18:18,878 --> 00:18:20,869
Only it wasn't a violin.
319
00:18:20,946 --> 00:18:23,608
Think about that the next time
you're standing around
320
00:18:23,682 --> 00:18:25,377
with your chisel in your hand.
321
00:18:35,961 --> 00:18:40,193
Oh! Oh, my God, Dorothy.
There it is. The statue.
322
00:18:40,266 --> 00:18:42,894
Oh, this is so exciting.
323
00:18:42,968 --> 00:18:45,163
I can't wait to hear that crowd gasp
324
00:18:45,237 --> 00:18:47,933
when they lift up the sheet
and see me there.
325
00:18:48,007 --> 00:18:51,670
I'd think you'd be used
to that by now, Blanche.
326
00:18:54,380 --> 00:18:56,371
Hi, girls. Some party, isn't it?
327
00:18:56,449 --> 00:18:58,383
What are you so cheerful about?
328
00:18:58,451 --> 00:18:59,884
Why shouldn't I be?
329
00:18:59,952 --> 00:19:01,442
For starters, any minute now,
330
00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:06,480
this entire room could be looking
at a statue of your nude body.
331
00:19:09,862 --> 00:19:12,228
Nude? The statue's gonna be nude?
332
00:19:12,298 --> 00:19:15,324
What did you think?
He'd put it in a rain poncho?
333
00:19:15,401 --> 00:19:17,596
Oh, my God.
334
00:19:17,670 --> 00:19:19,831
Hey, Dorothy, can you believe it?
335
00:19:19,905 --> 00:19:22,430
Ten grand for this piece of junk.
336
00:19:22,508 --> 00:19:23,497
Oh!
337
00:19:24,944 --> 00:19:27,811
Oh, Ma!
338
00:19:28,814 --> 00:19:30,213
You fell for it.
339
00:19:30,282 --> 00:19:33,046
This stuff kills me.
340
00:19:33,118 --> 00:19:35,586
Excuse me, ma'am.
You'll have to come with me.
341
00:19:35,654 --> 00:19:38,350
You just smashed
a priceless Lichtenfein.
342
00:19:38,424 --> 00:19:42,520
- I must have mixed the two up.
- When are you gonna learn
343
00:19:42,595 --> 00:19:45,928
that you have to stop
with these ridiculous practical jokes?
344
00:19:45,998 --> 00:19:49,559
I can't believe it.
She fell for it again.
345
00:19:49,635 --> 00:19:52,661
You ought to have "yutz"
tattooed on your forehead.
346
00:19:53,806 --> 00:19:57,242
Here you go. You were brilliant, Harry.
347
00:20:00,412 --> 00:20:03,677
Ladies and gentlemen,
may I have your attention, please?
348
00:20:07,052 --> 00:20:09,520
This is the moment
we've all been waiting for.
349
00:20:09,588 --> 00:20:13,615
The unveiling of the latest masterpiece
of Mr. Laszlo Gregorian.
350
00:20:13,692 --> 00:20:15,557
So without further ado,
351
00:20:15,628 --> 00:20:17,596
off with the sheet.
352
00:20:21,767 --> 00:20:23,428
Oh!
353
00:20:24,637 --> 00:20:26,366
Oh!
354
00:20:26,438 --> 00:20:29,999
My God, I look gorgeous.
355
00:20:30,075 --> 00:20:32,543
You? Blanche, that's me.
356
00:20:32,611 --> 00:20:35,273
The hell it is.
357
00:20:35,347 --> 00:20:38,145
Girls, be serious. Look at those eyes.
358
00:20:38,217 --> 00:20:42,176
- Look at the nose.
- Look at the butt.
359
00:20:42,855 --> 00:20:46,655
- You can't see the butt.
- Then it sure can't be you.
360
00:20:46,725 --> 00:20:49,159
- You.
- This is ridiculous.
361
00:20:49,228 --> 00:20:52,493
There's only one way to settle this.
Where is Laszlo?
362
00:20:52,565 --> 00:20:54,260
- There he is.
- Laszlo.
363
00:20:54,333 --> 00:20:56,460
Let me be the first to tell you
364
00:20:56,535 --> 00:20:59,561
what a simply stunning
piece of art this is.
365
00:20:59,638 --> 00:21:01,936
- Thank you, Dorothy.
- Who the hell is it?
366
00:21:02,007 --> 00:21:03,440
It's not obvious?
367
00:21:03,509 --> 00:21:05,704
- Not to them.
- Not to them.
368
00:21:05,778 --> 00:21:07,905
I see I must explain.
369
00:21:07,980 --> 00:21:09,379
In this statue,
370
00:21:09,448 --> 00:21:11,780
I want a look of strength and character.
371
00:21:11,850 --> 00:21:13,977
- So I chose Dorothy.
- I knew it.
372
00:21:14,053 --> 00:21:18,183
- Then I dropped her.
- Like so many before you.
373
00:21:19,224 --> 00:21:23,285
I decided I needed
more sensuality and vitality.
374
00:21:23,362 --> 00:21:25,455
So I turned to my sketches of Blanche.
375
00:21:25,531 --> 00:21:28,500
- I knew it.
- Then I put them away.
376
00:21:28,567 --> 00:21:31,695
I wanted more softness, more sweetness.
377
00:21:31,770 --> 00:21:33,965
So I went to my sketches of Rose.
378
00:21:34,039 --> 00:21:37,236
- You mean that's me up there?
- No.
379
00:21:37,309 --> 00:21:41,245
- Then who is it?
- It is all of you.
380
00:21:43,616 --> 00:21:46,278
The answer finally came to me.
381
00:21:46,352 --> 00:21:49,048
Why not take
the best features of each lady
382
00:21:49,121 --> 00:21:51,851
to create one perfect lady?
383
00:21:51,924 --> 00:21:53,448
That is what you see.
384
00:21:53,525 --> 00:21:57,859
It is not hard to understand
why you are such good friends.
385
00:21:57,930 --> 00:22:00,797
You complement each other
very well indeed.
386
00:22:00,866 --> 00:22:01,855
Oh!
387
00:22:01,934 --> 00:22:03,731
Thank you, Laszlo.
388
00:22:03,802 --> 00:22:05,633
One more thing, Laszlo.
389
00:22:05,704 --> 00:22:07,865
I'd like to ask you a question.
390
00:22:07,940 --> 00:22:10,932
By any chance,
is there anybody here tonight
391
00:22:11,010 --> 00:22:14,207
in whom you might be
interested romantically?
392
00:22:14,947 --> 00:22:18,178
Well, as a matter of fact, yes.
393
00:22:18,250 --> 00:22:20,878
I knew it! It's me!
394
00:22:20,953 --> 00:22:24,912
Oh, Laszlo. Looks like we're a hit.
395
00:22:33,899 --> 00:22:35,890
I'm sorry. I thought you knew.
396
00:22:41,206 --> 00:22:42,605
How can you blame him?
397
00:22:42,675 --> 00:22:45,974
The man looked at
the three of you naked for a month.
398
00:22:59,158 --> 00:23:00,216
Morning, Ma.
399
00:23:00,292 --> 00:23:03,750
You'll be glad to know
my practical joking days are over.
400
00:23:03,829 --> 00:23:05,729
Ma, that is wonderful.
401
00:23:05,798 --> 00:23:08,323
So sit down and have a glass of juice.
402
00:23:08,400 --> 00:23:09,992
Okay, I will.
403
00:23:10,069 --> 00:23:13,971
You wouldn't be playing a joke
with this glass, would you?
404
00:23:14,039 --> 00:23:16,030
- Of course not.
- Of course not.
405
00:23:16,108 --> 00:23:20,238
Because I know how much fun
you have playing practical jokes.
406
00:23:20,312 --> 00:23:22,439
I told you it's over. Drink your juice.
407
00:23:22,514 --> 00:23:23,879
Okay, Ma, I will.
408
00:23:23,949 --> 00:23:27,441
Ma, did you leave something
burning on the stove?
409
00:23:27,519 --> 00:23:29,612
What? I don't think so.
410
00:23:29,688 --> 00:23:32,851
It was nothing. Well, bottoms up.
411
00:23:46,205 --> 00:23:48,730
Don't ever change, pussycat.
31783