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1
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_
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HEATHER: Hey, babe. Good workout?
3
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(GROANS) Ooh! I just feel like
4
00:00:12,672 --> 00:00:15,111
no matter how low I drop
it in cardio strip class,
5
00:00:15,196 --> 00:00:17,780
I keep looking in the mirror
expecting to see a new me,
6
00:00:17,865 --> 00:00:20,099
and see the same old me staring back.
7
00:00:20,124 --> 00:00:22,952
Oh, honey, listen, I think
you've been doing so great.
8
00:00:23,037 --> 00:00:26,038
But if you need a little extra
motivation, just do what I do.
9
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Not tie my robe when
FedEx drops off a package?
10
00:00:29,127 --> 00:00:31,794
No! That was an accident.
11
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- Mm.
- I meant
12
00:00:33,270 --> 00:00:34,764
I buy myself a treat
13
00:00:34,799 --> 00:00:37,767
as a reminder of what it
is I'm working towards.
14
00:00:37,802 --> 00:00:39,885
I guess I could buy you something.
15
00:00:39,971 --> 00:00:42,388
(CHUCKLING): No, not me. You.
16
00:00:42,473 --> 00:00:43,889
If you really want to look good,
17
00:00:43,975 --> 00:00:45,401
but yourself something nice.
18
00:00:47,145 --> 00:00:49,562
- (DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
- TIM: Heather, you were right!
19
00:00:49,647 --> 00:00:52,949
I bought something,
and it's a game changer.
20
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Oh! Oh.
21
00:00:54,869 --> 00:00:56,152
Well, what do you think?
22
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Well... what do you think?
23
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I love it!
24
00:01:00,541 --> 00:01:01,991
- Oh, yeah.
- I, uh...
25
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I feel like I'm in
defiance of God's will.
26
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Yeah, well, I mean, what else
is there to say, other than...
27
00:01:09,167 --> 00:01:11,968
you look very handsome.
28
00:01:12,003 --> 00:01:14,007
What do you say? You want to
take it for a little test-drive?
29
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:15,504
Yeah. Uh...
30
00:01:15,590 --> 00:01:16,671
- Uh...
- Just don't touch the top,
31
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'cause that glue still has to set.
32
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- And the sides kind of hurt, so...
- Okay. Okay.
33
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- Ah, well, we'll do it later.
- Okay.
34
00:01:22,180 --> 00:01:24,513
I'm gonna go upstairs
and take off everything.
35
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Well, almost everything.
36
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Okay. Yeah. (LAUGHS)
37
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- Oh, see? Hairs.
- Okay.
38
00:01:34,192 --> 00:01:36,859
Thank you so much for
responding to my text.
39
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:39,445
Uh, there's something I
need to talk to you about
40
00:01:39,530 --> 00:01:41,052
concerning your father.
41
00:01:41,076 --> 00:01:42,698
It's his heart again, isn't it?
42
00:01:42,784 --> 00:01:44,913
- Told you.
- No.
43
00:01:44,937 --> 00:01:47,359
It's not his heart. It is his head.
44
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Like a brain tumor?
45
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Told you.
46
00:01:50,563 --> 00:01:54,872
No. Your dad... has
started wearing a toupee.
47
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Told you.
48
00:01:56,381 --> 00:01:58,047
Okay, the-the point is,
49
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is that your dad has struggled,
50
00:01:59,884 --> 00:02:01,449
you know, with feeling
good about himself.
51
00:02:01,474 --> 00:02:04,303
And if adding some hair
makes him feel like a new man,
52
00:02:04,389 --> 00:02:07,807
then our job is to just
support him in that.
53
00:02:07,892 --> 00:02:11,394
So, the same rules as when you
went through your romper phase?
54
00:02:11,446 --> 00:02:13,229
- What?
- You looked stupid.
55
00:02:13,298 --> 00:02:15,295
We-we just didn't know if
you knew you looked stupid.
56
00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:15,916
Mm.
57
00:02:15,990 --> 00:02:18,534
- (DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
- Yeah. Just like that.
58
00:02:18,569 --> 00:02:22,071
Hey, guys! Oh, what do
we think of the new me
59
00:02:22,156 --> 00:02:25,008
on a scale of one to ten?
Don't be afraid to say 11.
60
00:02:26,077 --> 00:02:27,410
It's what we're all thinking.
61
00:02:27,462 --> 00:02:29,378
We're just kids. (LAUGHS)
62
00:02:29,414 --> 00:02:32,415
Who cares what we think?
Most of us don't even vote.
63
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:35,251
Ah, the reviews are
in, and they are rave.
64
00:02:35,303 --> 00:02:38,087
The barista at the coffee shop
that always calls me Tom...
65
00:02:38,172 --> 00:02:39,603
She still called me Tom,
66
00:02:39,628 --> 00:02:42,007
but this time, she said it with a smile.
67
00:02:42,032 --> 00:02:43,259
New Tim is a hit!
68
00:02:46,764 --> 00:02:48,514
Yeah, you're looking
pretty sharp, Timmy.
69
00:02:48,599 --> 00:02:50,266
Oh, I know it. If you need any help
70
00:02:50,318 --> 00:02:51,851
fixing your whole
thing, I'm here for you.
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00:02:51,876 --> 00:02:53,843
Thank-thank you.
72
00:02:54,266 --> 00:02:56,433
(QUIETLY): Okay, thank you so
much for not saying anything.
73
00:02:56,458 --> 00:02:57,606
I know it's hard.
74
00:02:57,692 --> 00:02:59,090
Of course I'm not gonna
say anything, Heather.
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00:02:59,115 --> 00:03:01,332
He's obviously struggling.
76
00:03:01,751 --> 00:03:04,035
Oh, man, my allergies are acting up.
77
00:03:04,060 --> 00:03:06,916
Do we have any idea what kind of
hair that thing is made out of?
78
00:03:06,951 --> 00:03:08,918
- But you're only allergic to cats.
- (GASPS)
79
00:03:08,953 --> 00:03:10,920
Oh, no.
80
00:03:11,602 --> 00:03:14,039
Tim, I just want to tell you
81
00:03:14,125 --> 00:03:16,092
that I think your toupee looks great,
82
00:03:16,127 --> 00:03:18,103
no matter what John says.
83
00:03:18,679 --> 00:03:20,106
What did John say?
84
00:03:20,131 --> 00:03:21,249
Oh. Well, now that I know
85
00:03:21,274 --> 00:03:22,965
that you didn't hear, I can't remember.
86
00:03:23,050 --> 00:03:24,266
He didn't like my toupee?
87
00:03:24,302 --> 00:03:25,885
I think he's just jealous because
88
00:03:25,970 --> 00:03:27,770
someone else is getting
hair compliments.
89
00:03:27,795 --> 00:03:28,984
- Hmm.
- And he doesn't like that,
90
00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:30,139
but who cares about John?
91
00:03:30,224 --> 00:03:34,093
I think it looks amazing, no
matter what everyone else says.
92
00:03:34,656 --> 00:03:36,645
Everyone?
93
00:03:36,731 --> 00:03:39,148
He doesn't have a
toupee made out of a cat.
94
00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:41,650
So, none of you like the new me.
95
00:03:42,703 --> 00:03:44,787
Tim, listen, it's... (SIGHS)
96
00:03:44,822 --> 00:03:47,490
It's just that we all love the old you.
97
00:03:47,542 --> 00:03:50,243
I love old me, too, but he's gone.
98
00:03:50,268 --> 00:03:53,078
And the new me uses 25% less sunscreen.
99
00:03:53,164 --> 00:03:54,580
Ignore them, Tim.
100
00:03:54,605 --> 00:03:56,248
I think you look so sexy.
101
00:03:56,334 --> 00:03:57,500
What?
102
00:03:57,552 --> 00:03:58,751
Heather,
103
00:03:58,776 --> 00:04:00,656
you're the one who told
me to try something new.
104
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:01,976
Yeah, because
105
00:04:02,001 --> 00:04:04,840
I thought, you know, maybe
you would buy a new jacket.
106
00:04:04,892 --> 00:04:07,009
At worst, a big gold chain.
107
00:04:07,034 --> 00:04:09,181
I didn't think you would do
something crazy like this.
108
00:04:09,230 --> 00:04:12,181
How is this crazy? I
can wear it in a pool.
109
00:04:12,233 --> 00:04:14,517
Okay, honey, I-I love
you, but you can't just
110
00:04:14,569 --> 00:04:18,354
put on new hair and
completely change who you are.
111
00:04:18,406 --> 00:04:19,482
Ah, you're just saying that
112
00:04:19,507 --> 00:04:20,694
'cause you know me as a bald guy.
113
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,691
Anybody who meets me
now would have no idea.
114
00:04:22,777 --> 00:04:25,528
They might if they met
you during a strong breeze.
115
00:04:25,580 --> 00:04:28,113
The salesman said they
can handle up to 20 knots.
116
00:04:28,199 --> 00:04:30,546
Honey, don't be upset.
117
00:04:30,639 --> 00:04:33,161
Maybe I'll always be
old Tim to you guys,
118
00:04:33,186 --> 00:04:35,538
but tomorrow, I'm gonna get
on a stage and give a speech
119
00:04:35,590 --> 00:04:37,811
in front of a bunch of
doctors who've never met me,
120
00:04:37,836 --> 00:04:41,043
and you mark my words,
they'll only know the new Tim.
121
00:04:43,975 --> 00:04:46,382
And now our featured speaker
for today's symposium,
122
00:04:46,434 --> 00:04:48,133
Dr. Tim Hughes.
123
00:04:48,219 --> 00:04:50,219
(APPLAUSE)
124
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(LAUGHS) All right.
125
00:04:52,435 --> 00:04:54,318
(CHUCKLES)
126
00:04:54,343 --> 00:04:55,893
Thank you.
127
00:04:57,562 --> 00:05:00,342
I'm here today to talk to
you about honesty in medicine,
128
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:01,950
but also in life.
129
00:05:01,975 --> 00:05:03,271
- (SCATTERED LAUGHTER)
- That's right,
130
00:05:03,296 --> 00:05:06,023
because the transparency with
which we present ourselves...
131
00:05:06,048 --> 00:05:07,965
(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)
132
00:05:09,757 --> 00:05:12,508
Oh, right.
133
00:05:12,533 --> 00:05:13,949
(LAUGHS)
134
00:05:14,507 --> 00:05:16,161
Okay.
135
00:05:16,628 --> 00:05:17,961
(LAUGHS)
136
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,804
Aah.
137
00:05:21,844 --> 00:05:23,734
_
138
00:05:28,054 --> 00:05:29,592
Jen, you're back!
139
00:05:29,644 --> 00:05:31,927
You were gone so long, we all
forgot you worked here. (LAUGHS)
140
00:05:32,013 --> 00:05:34,028
EVE: You think maybe
you should label that,
141
00:05:34,053 --> 00:05:35,773
so I don't accidentally
put it in my coffee?
142
00:05:35,850 --> 00:05:37,766
Oh, well, here's a tip.
143
00:05:37,852 --> 00:05:40,069
Maybe don't drink milk out
of a baby bottle. (CHUCKLES)
144
00:05:40,950 --> 00:05:42,283
Hey, Jen.
145
00:05:42,308 --> 00:05:43,772
- Welcome back.
- Thank you.
146
00:05:43,858 --> 00:05:46,075
How is baby... what's-her-face?
147
00:05:46,110 --> 00:05:48,027
Uh, Talia. Yeah, she's great,
148
00:05:48,112 --> 00:05:52,281
and, uh, she loves her Starbucks
gift card, so thank you.
149
00:05:52,366 --> 00:05:55,417
Oh. Sure. I... I had no
idea I sent her anything.
150
00:05:55,453 --> 00:05:58,120
- Oh, well, that's even better.
- Uh, so I'll see you tonight?
151
00:05:58,172 --> 00:05:59,872
S-Sorry. Tonight?
152
00:05:59,957 --> 00:06:01,540
Yeah, we're all getting
together for drinks
153
00:06:01,626 --> 00:06:03,208
to celebrate the monster year we had.
154
00:06:03,294 --> 00:06:05,094
Eve was supposed to tell you.
155
00:06:05,129 --> 00:06:06,595
(GASPS) Did I not do that?
156
00:06:06,631 --> 00:06:07,763
ELLE: Paul, do not make her
157
00:06:07,798 --> 00:06:08,964
go celebrate the monster year
158
00:06:09,016 --> 00:06:10,617
she had nothing to do with.
159
00:06:10,641 --> 00:06:12,070
She has a baby to get home to.
160
00:06:12,095 --> 00:06:14,170
Right. Yeah, go be with, um...
161
00:06:14,195 --> 00:06:16,437
(SIGHS) What's his name?
162
00:06:16,765 --> 00:06:18,474
I want to say it starts with a "B",
163
00:06:18,559 --> 00:06:20,559
but that could just be for "baby."
164
00:06:20,645 --> 00:06:21,810
- (LAUGHS)
- Yeah. No, you got it.
165
00:06:21,862 --> 00:06:23,221
- Yes!
- Good memory.
166
00:06:23,245 --> 00:06:26,815
Okay. Which reminds me, this
contract was due yesterday,
167
00:06:26,901 --> 00:06:28,651
so let's get it redlined ASAP.
168
00:06:28,703 --> 00:06:30,569
We're on it.
169
00:06:30,655 --> 00:06:31,954
Hey,
170
00:06:31,989 --> 00:06:33,489
since you decided you didn't want
171
00:06:33,574 --> 00:06:36,069
to go tonight, do you mind?
172
00:06:36,094 --> 00:06:37,326
Oh.
173
00:06:37,378 --> 00:06:40,383
And here's a tip: if you're gonna lie
174
00:06:40,407 --> 00:06:42,631
about having a baby,
maybe don't post photos
175
00:06:42,667 --> 00:06:45,918
of yourself topless on
a fancy lounge chair.
176
00:06:47,793 --> 00:06:50,181
It was a hospital bed.
177
00:06:51,175 --> 00:06:54,843
I'm stuck here while Eve and
Elle get face time with Paul,
178
00:06:54,929 --> 00:06:56,762
which is the only way to make partner.
179
00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:59,315
Sorry. I'm here. It's just that
180
00:06:59,350 --> 00:07:02,601
the phone, uh, fell in between
the cushions of the couch.
181
00:07:02,687 --> 00:07:04,047
Did you hear anything I just said?
182
00:07:04,105 --> 00:07:06,597
I was explaining how
I'm feeling overwhelmed
183
00:07:06,622 --> 00:07:09,158
by trying to be the perfect
mom and the perfect lawyer.
184
00:07:09,193 --> 00:07:11,694
I think you're perfect. I just...
185
00:07:12,817 --> 00:07:15,081
I want to make it home
before bedtime, you know?
186
00:07:15,106 --> 00:07:17,333
I miss the girls. Hey,
has Talia changed a lot
187
00:07:17,368 --> 00:07:18,784
since I've been gone?
188
00:07:18,869 --> 00:07:20,786
I started calling her Tal,
189
00:07:20,871 --> 00:07:24,006
but then I realized that would
mean we named her Tal Short.
190
00:07:24,515 --> 00:07:27,042
Well, that's either
gonna be good or horrible.
191
00:07:27,128 --> 00:07:29,511
Look, honey, I-if going out
tonight is important, go.
192
00:07:29,547 --> 00:07:33,215
All right? I mean, I-I'll keep
the kids up until you come home.
193
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:34,221
Really?
194
00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:35,968
Yeah. I mean, I'm terrible
at putting 'em to sleep,
195
00:07:36,053 --> 00:07:37,519
so it's perfect.
196
00:07:37,555 --> 00:07:41,454
Shoot. I just spilled
breast milk all over me.
197
00:07:41,479 --> 00:07:44,026
What am I gonna do?
I can't go like this.
198
00:07:44,061 --> 00:07:45,728
Okay, you want to know
what? I'm gonna call someone
199
00:07:45,780 --> 00:07:48,230
to help you, okay? But just
so you're not disappointed
200
00:07:48,282 --> 00:07:50,566
when you see her, it's gonna be Colleen.
201
00:07:50,618 --> 00:07:53,318
(SIGHS)
202
00:07:53,404 --> 00:07:56,071
I can't believe we're so
aligned on politics and religion.
203
00:07:56,123 --> 00:07:58,969
That was a huge gamble
you took, but it paid off.
204
00:07:58,994 --> 00:08:00,443
Hey! Jen!
205
00:08:00,468 --> 00:08:02,124
You made it.
206
00:08:02,157 --> 00:08:03,757
Why aren't you with your family?
207
00:08:03,782 --> 00:08:06,165
Shouldn't you be making mac and
cheese and some kind of nugget?
208
00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:08,584
Nope. No, I can stay as
long as I want tonight.
209
00:08:08,636 --> 00:08:11,197
Yeah, because I'm devoted to this firm.
210
00:08:11,222 --> 00:08:13,949
Hey, have you talked
about the Anderson case?
211
00:08:13,974 --> 00:08:15,664
- No.
- Well, now we have,
212
00:08:15,688 --> 00:08:16,990
so next round's on the client.
213
00:08:17,015 --> 00:08:19,405
- Am I right?
- (LAUGHS) I love it!
214
00:08:19,430 --> 00:08:21,096
I can get you a woman.
215
00:08:21,182 --> 00:08:22,398
Whoa, Eve.
216
00:08:22,433 --> 00:08:24,349
Let's just stick with champagne.
217
00:08:24,435 --> 00:08:25,267
Yeah.
218
00:08:25,352 --> 00:08:26,602
Jen, come on in. Champagne?
219
00:08:26,687 --> 00:08:28,404
Uh, would love some.
220
00:08:28,439 --> 00:08:30,606
(CHUCKLES)
221
00:08:30,658 --> 00:08:32,736
And I woke up on the
roof of the library,
222
00:08:32,761 --> 00:08:34,610
naked, covered in red paint.
223
00:08:34,695 --> 00:08:37,029
And that is how you get out
of paying overdue book fines.
224
00:08:37,114 --> 00:08:38,030
(BOTH LAUGH)
225
00:08:38,115 --> 00:08:39,581
I knew you were a reader.
226
00:08:39,617 --> 00:08:41,950
Paul, Paul, Paul?
227
00:08:42,036 --> 00:08:43,919
- Mm-hmm.
- We got you a drink.
228
00:08:43,954 --> 00:08:45,537
It's a lemon drop! (GIGGLES)
229
00:08:45,623 --> 00:08:48,257
I am so lucky I have
so many best friends.
230
00:08:48,292 --> 00:08:49,374
(CHUCKLES)
231
00:08:49,460 --> 00:08:51,877
Paul, Paul, Paul.
232
00:08:52,645 --> 00:08:54,630
To your success.
233
00:08:56,517 --> 00:08:57,466
- (LINE RINGING)
- GREG: Honey,
234
00:08:57,518 --> 00:08:58,634
where you going with the... (CRYING)
235
00:08:58,659 --> 00:09:01,751
- Hey, everything okay?
- Jen, where are you?
236
00:09:01,884 --> 00:09:02,805
Okay, I-it's...
237
00:09:02,857 --> 00:09:05,891
it's 8:15. Tha-That's like
midnight for these girls.
238
00:09:05,976 --> 00:09:07,720
(EVE AND ELLE LAUGHING)
239
00:09:07,759 --> 00:09:08,898
You there?
240
00:09:08,923 --> 00:09:10,813
Jen? Jen, get over here.
241
00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:13,797
I'm telling everyone about my
unforgettable trip to Santa Fe.
242
00:09:13,822 --> 00:09:15,400
(CHUCKLES) I'm going next week.
243
00:09:15,486 --> 00:09:16,985
- (EVE AND ELLE LAUGH)
- GREG: Hey.
244
00:09:17,037 --> 00:09:18,403
I'm-I'm so sorry.
245
00:09:18,489 --> 00:09:19,988
I-I actually have to go.
246
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,324
So sorry.
247
00:09:23,015 --> 00:09:24,214
So...
248
00:09:26,811 --> 00:09:28,144
Hi.
249
00:09:28,169 --> 00:09:30,887
Mommy's... home.
250
00:09:33,003 --> 00:09:35,337
(SIGHS)
251
00:09:42,510 --> 00:09:45,062
Hey, have either of you seen the
contract I finished yesterday?
252
00:09:45,087 --> 00:09:46,586
- No.
- Haven't seen it.
253
00:09:46,611 --> 00:09:48,183
Jen, why'd you run off last night?
254
00:09:48,235 --> 00:09:50,486
Oh, sorry. I-I had to
get home to my girls.
255
00:09:50,521 --> 00:09:53,105
Oh, too bad. You missed hearing
about my watch collection.
256
00:09:53,190 --> 00:09:54,606
I'm gonna start one.
257
00:09:54,692 --> 00:09:56,144
- Oh.
- Eve, Elle,
258
00:09:56,168 --> 00:09:57,493
thanks for redlining this contract.
259
00:09:57,528 --> 00:09:59,444
It was our pleasure, Paul. (GIGGLES)
260
00:09:59,530 --> 00:10:00,863
Wait, I did that work.
261
00:10:00,915 --> 00:10:02,364
Oh, that's not possible.
262
00:10:02,416 --> 00:10:03,866
She just had a baby,
263
00:10:03,918 --> 00:10:06,624
which means probably her
hormones are making her lie.
264
00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:08,188
- Or bad character.
- Oh.
265
00:10:08,213 --> 00:10:11,623
Okay, guys, hey, look, our
office has an awesome work vibe.
266
00:10:11,709 --> 00:10:13,041
Please don't harsh that.
267
00:10:13,127 --> 00:10:14,960
Wait, look, there's a stain on it.
268
00:10:15,045 --> 00:10:17,045
I made that. That proves I did the work.
269
00:10:17,131 --> 00:10:18,881
Actually, that's from my coffee cup.
270
00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:21,133
Everyone knows I drink
coffee. It's kind of my thing.
271
00:10:21,218 --> 00:10:22,218
See?
272
00:10:22,269 --> 00:10:23,552
Well, that looks too big.
273
00:10:23,604 --> 00:10:25,860
Uh, because that ring
is from my protein shake.
274
00:10:25,892 --> 00:10:28,625
I drink one every morning before
I douse the donuts in salt.
275
00:10:28,650 --> 00:10:29,892
- (CHUCKLES)
- That doesn't fit.
276
00:10:29,944 --> 00:10:31,393
Story of my life.
277
00:10:32,194 --> 00:10:33,894
Here, try this.
278
00:10:37,067 --> 00:10:38,534
It's a perfect fit.
279
00:10:38,569 --> 00:10:40,152
I'll take that.
280
00:10:40,237 --> 00:10:42,154
Oh.
281
00:10:42,239 --> 00:10:44,323
And I'll-I'll just... I'll redo that.
282
00:10:44,946 --> 00:10:46,469
Okay.
283
00:10:48,704 --> 00:10:50,929
Hey, look who made it home tonight!
284
00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:52,548
Yeah, and with good news.
285
00:10:52,583 --> 00:10:55,384
I am back on the partner track.
286
00:10:55,419 --> 00:10:56,552
How did that happen?
287
00:10:56,587 --> 00:10:57,947
It's because I spilled breast milk
288
00:10:58,005 --> 00:10:59,504
on one of my files.
289
00:11:00,030 --> 00:11:01,363
Oh.
290
00:11:01,388 --> 00:11:04,108
Well, that's one way of doing it.
291
00:11:05,233 --> 00:11:07,179
_
292
00:11:07,413 --> 00:11:10,998
Mom, do you want creole or soul
food for your retirement party?
293
00:11:11,083 --> 00:11:12,203
GREG: I keep pitching Cajun,
294
00:11:12,251 --> 00:11:14,751
but it doesn't seem to
have inspired the room.
295
00:11:14,776 --> 00:11:15,896
JOHN: I just don't understand
296
00:11:15,921 --> 00:11:17,843
why we can't just do Caribbean jerk.
297
00:11:17,868 --> 00:11:20,424
Why don't we get one of
those really big subs?
298
00:11:20,476 --> 00:11:22,926
What does that have
to do with retirement?
299
00:11:22,978 --> 00:11:25,729
You're-you're planning
the retirement party?
300
00:11:25,764 --> 00:11:28,090
There's no rush, is there?
301
00:11:28,115 --> 00:11:29,933
What? No rush?
302
00:11:29,985 --> 00:11:32,686
I've been waiting for
this day since I retired.
303
00:11:32,771 --> 00:11:34,862
HEATHER: Mom, think about
all the things you can do.
304
00:11:34,887 --> 00:11:36,607
You can fly off at a moment's notice,
305
00:11:36,692 --> 00:11:37,729
see the world.
306
00:11:37,754 --> 00:11:39,676
Mom, you guys could go to
Spain, and you could eat...
307
00:11:39,701 --> 00:11:40,744
A rat!
308
00:11:40,779 --> 00:11:41,912
Oh, is that what they do?
309
00:11:41,947 --> 00:11:43,598
I-I don't want to do that.
310
00:11:43,622 --> 00:11:45,204
Oh! No, there's a rat.
311
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:47,540
It just scurried under the sofa.
312
00:11:47,575 --> 00:11:49,769
- Mm!
- Okay, okay. Calm down.
313
00:11:49,794 --> 00:11:52,378
I'll... I will call our
exterminator for you.
314
00:11:52,414 --> 00:11:53,663
Is he the best?
315
00:11:54,145 --> 00:11:55,481
Well...
316
00:11:56,614 --> 00:11:58,418
JOAN: I'm so sorry, honey,
317
00:11:58,470 --> 00:12:00,753
but I just will not
have the retirement party
318
00:12:00,805 --> 00:12:03,089
until Oscar gets that rat.
319
00:12:03,141 --> 00:12:05,842
And who knows how long that'll take?
320
00:12:05,927 --> 00:12:06,893
Got him.
321
00:12:06,928 --> 00:12:08,011
Yep.
322
00:12:08,096 --> 00:12:09,634
Trap worked.
323
00:12:09,884 --> 00:12:10,884
Killed him dead.
324
00:12:10,932 --> 00:12:13,042
But surely there are more!
325
00:12:13,067 --> 00:12:15,351
It's a herd, right?
326
00:12:15,376 --> 00:12:16,602
Herd of rats?
327
00:12:16,627 --> 00:12:17,937
'Course I heard of rats.
328
00:12:18,023 --> 00:12:19,188
I'm a 'sterminator.
329
00:12:19,274 --> 00:12:20,523
It's my business.
330
00:12:20,608 --> 00:12:22,775
Great! Well, party's back on.
331
00:12:22,827 --> 00:12:24,744
You'll be retired before you know it.
332
00:12:24,779 --> 00:12:26,946
Soon, you'll be as aimless as I am.
333
00:12:27,032 --> 00:12:29,282
- Right.
- No, you're gonna love it.
334
00:12:29,367 --> 00:12:30,583
The hours all blend together.
335
00:12:30,618 --> 00:12:33,485
10:00 and 3:00 are the same,
because they're both day.
336
00:12:33,510 --> 00:12:36,956
And then, suddenly, it's dinner, and...
337
00:12:37,042 --> 00:12:38,374
then you're done.
338
00:12:38,460 --> 00:12:39,460
Oh.
339
00:12:39,485 --> 00:12:40,401
Mm-hmm.
340
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:42,462
Are you sure you got them all?
341
00:12:42,487 --> 00:12:44,856
Yep, you's rat-free.
342
00:12:44,881 --> 00:12:47,050
You want to keep it for
your trophy room or...
343
00:12:47,135 --> 00:12:48,384
- No.
- No.
344
00:12:48,470 --> 00:12:50,720
All right. I'm gonna barbecue it.
345
00:12:50,805 --> 00:12:53,439
Got a tailgate tomorrow.
346
00:12:53,475 --> 00:12:54,640
- John!
- Yeah.
347
00:12:54,726 --> 00:12:56,893
Call Oscar! I saw another rat.
348
00:12:56,978 --> 00:12:58,394
- A rat?
- Yeah.
349
00:12:58,480 --> 00:12:59,812
Oh, no.
350
00:12:59,864 --> 00:13:02,448
We're gonna have to
cancel the party again?
351
00:13:02,484 --> 00:13:04,817
I'm so disappointed.
352
00:13:04,903 --> 00:13:06,319
Wh-Where'd it go?
353
00:13:06,371 --> 00:13:07,737
Oh, it's gone now.
354
00:13:07,822 --> 00:13:09,405
Don't even bother to look for it.
355
00:13:09,491 --> 00:13:11,157
And by the noises it was making,
356
00:13:11,209 --> 00:13:13,326
it was calling its friends.
357
00:13:13,411 --> 00:13:14,940
What'd it sound like?
358
00:13:15,541 --> 00:13:16,329
Oh.
359
00:13:16,414 --> 00:13:18,164
Um...
360
00:13:18,249 --> 00:13:19,672
Like, uh...
361
00:13:20,023 --> 00:13:22,135
(HISSING)
362
00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:23,586
(GROWLING)
363
00:13:23,671 --> 00:13:26,005
(SNARLS)
364
00:13:26,213 --> 00:13:28,163
That sounds like trouble.
365
00:13:29,394 --> 00:13:30,676
(GRUNTS)
366
00:13:30,729 --> 00:13:32,261
These might be plops.
367
00:13:32,347 --> 00:13:34,359
Only one way to tell.
368
00:13:36,156 --> 00:13:37,990
(GROANS)
369
00:13:38,289 --> 00:13:39,709
Raisins.
370
00:13:39,734 --> 00:13:42,688
Yep. Ain't no rats here.
371
00:13:42,774 --> 00:13:44,857
It's too bad we postponed the party.
372
00:13:44,909 --> 00:13:47,250
You could always
postpone the postponement.
373
00:13:47,275 --> 00:13:49,529
Do the ponement post-rodent.
374
00:13:49,614 --> 00:13:51,280
He's making a lot of sense.
375
00:13:51,366 --> 00:13:52,165
Am I?
376
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:53,783
We'll do the party tomorrow,
377
00:13:53,868 --> 00:13:56,575
and-and then it's
official... you're retired.
378
00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,767
I-It's just you and me,
379
00:13:58,792 --> 00:14:01,541
until, one day, it's you or me.
380
00:14:01,626 --> 00:14:03,876
No. I'm certain there was a rat.
381
00:14:03,962 --> 00:14:06,879
And if he can't find it, well,
we'll just never have the party.
382
00:14:06,965 --> 00:14:08,881
That's the only thing that makes sense.
383
00:14:08,967 --> 00:14:11,134
Okay. You the boss, Miss Joan.
384
00:14:11,219 --> 00:14:12,635
I'll be here all night.
385
00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:15,054
I ain't gonna quit till he gone.
386
00:14:15,106 --> 00:14:16,472
(QUIETLY): All night?
387
00:14:16,558 --> 00:14:17,890
Well, you heard him.
388
00:14:17,976 --> 00:14:20,643
He ain't gonna quit till he gone.
389
00:14:23,493 --> 00:14:24,897
OSCAR: Miss Joan.
390
00:14:24,983 --> 00:14:27,733
I heard some rumblin's. I
figured maybe there was a rat
391
00:14:27,786 --> 00:14:29,402
down here doing some cupboard dumpin'.
392
00:14:29,454 --> 00:14:31,904
No. I just couldn't sleep. I'm sorry.
393
00:14:31,956 --> 00:14:33,906
W-Would you like some tea?
394
00:14:33,992 --> 00:14:35,491
I try not to drink on the job.
395
00:14:35,577 --> 00:14:36,876
Got to keep the old tool sharp.
396
00:14:36,911 --> 00:14:38,044
- Ooh. Oh!
- Yeah...
397
00:14:38,079 --> 00:14:39,624
Oh, whoop. That was there.
398
00:14:39,649 --> 00:14:41,881
Yep, that dent was definitely there.
399
00:14:41,916 --> 00:14:43,593
Well, I better go set some,
400
00:14:43,618 --> 00:14:45,718
uh, trackin' powder at
your points of entry.
401
00:14:45,753 --> 00:14:49,255
Looks like cocaine,
works like cocaine, but...
402
00:14:49,340 --> 00:14:51,424
do not attempt to use it as such.
403
00:14:51,509 --> 00:14:53,092
Okay, thank you. I'll remember that
404
00:14:53,144 --> 00:14:55,728
if I snort anything from the floor.
405
00:14:55,763 --> 00:14:58,764
- Mm-hmm.
- You're very dedicated to your work.
406
00:14:58,850 --> 00:15:00,650
I love my occupation.
407
00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:03,352
Do you ever think about retiring?
408
00:15:03,438 --> 00:15:06,550
As long as I got oxygen
left in these lungs,
409
00:15:06,575 --> 00:15:09,409
I'm gonna keep trying to
stick a hot poker into theirs.
410
00:15:10,093 --> 00:15:12,235
We are what we do, Oscar, huh?
411
00:15:12,260 --> 00:15:14,197
And-and we do what we are.
412
00:15:14,282 --> 00:15:15,414
That's beautiful.
413
00:15:15,450 --> 00:15:16,504
Oh.
414
00:15:16,529 --> 00:15:19,368
Well, as I said to my wife,
Tulip, on our weddin' night,
415
00:15:19,454 --> 00:15:21,370
"I'm-a slip into your crawl space."
416
00:15:21,456 --> 00:15:24,145
No, dear, don't. I have a confession.
417
00:15:24,959 --> 00:15:26,626
Ain't no rats, is there?
418
00:15:26,711 --> 00:15:28,044
(WHISPERS): No.
419
00:15:28,129 --> 00:15:30,546
Yeah, I knew I ain't
smelled no rats, Miss Joan.
420
00:15:30,632 --> 00:15:34,634
I didn't want to have my party,
because the truth is that...
421
00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:37,984
I'm never gonna retire. (EXHALES)
422
00:15:39,023 --> 00:15:40,439
Well...
423
00:15:40,475 --> 00:15:43,226
my job here is done, so I can indulge.
424
00:15:43,311 --> 00:15:44,716
Oh! Oh. Oh.
425
00:15:44,741 --> 00:15:46,479
- That was there.
- Yeah.
426
00:15:46,531 --> 00:15:48,318
- Pour me some tea.
- Okay.
427
00:15:48,343 --> 00:15:50,449
People say I got the gift of gab.
428
00:15:50,485 --> 00:15:52,151
- You do?
- Yep.
429
00:15:52,237 --> 00:15:54,620
- Well, gift it to me.
- Well...
430
00:15:54,656 --> 00:15:56,289
My wife, Tulip, says
431
00:15:56,324 --> 00:15:58,574
I'll probably give you
a run for your money.
432
00:15:58,660 --> 00:16:01,410
- No.
- Yep. She says this ain't working right.
433
00:16:01,435 --> 00:16:03,162
No, you don't need any therapy.
434
00:16:03,214 --> 00:16:04,580
You're a happy guy.
435
00:16:04,666 --> 00:16:06,386
Yeah. That's what I tell her.
436
00:16:06,411 --> 00:16:07,833
Then I tell her to shut up.
437
00:16:07,886 --> 00:16:09,502
Oh, no, no, don't do that, honey.
438
00:16:09,554 --> 00:16:11,420
- Yeah.
- No, don't tell her to shut up.
439
00:16:11,506 --> 00:16:15,174
- I say, "I'm happy. Shut up."
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
440
00:16:15,260 --> 00:16:17,339
Maybe she's unhappy.
441
00:16:17,364 --> 00:16:18,947
Yeah, she probably unhappy, too.
442
00:16:18,972 --> 00:16:21,180
- Well, maybe you could say...
- So she should shut up about it.
443
00:16:21,232 --> 00:16:23,683
(LAUGHS): No, no, no, no, no.
444
00:16:25,270 --> 00:16:27,153
So, you're not angry with me?
445
00:16:27,188 --> 00:16:29,021
I had a feeling. Why do you think
446
00:16:29,073 --> 00:16:30,940
I was racing to throw you that party?
447
00:16:31,025 --> 00:16:33,326
Because the airlines
forced you to retire,
448
00:16:33,361 --> 00:16:35,938
and you don't have anything to do.
449
00:16:35,963 --> 00:16:37,830
What do you say we, uh, go upstairs
450
00:16:37,865 --> 00:16:41,033
and celebrate your un-retirement?
451
00:16:41,119 --> 00:16:42,952
- (SQUEAKING)
- (GASPS) A rat!
452
00:16:43,037 --> 00:16:46,289
Well, if you're not in the mood,
I mean, that-that's okay, too.
453
00:16:46,374 --> 00:16:48,674
No, no, John, it's a real rat.
454
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:50,715
John?
455
00:16:50,740 --> 00:16:52,239
John?
456
00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:54,594
_
457
00:16:56,509 --> 00:16:59,836
We're going to get juice
boxes for our kitchen.
458
00:16:59,861 --> 00:17:01,532
- Hmm.
- Okay.
459
00:17:02,595 --> 00:17:04,509
- Yeah.
- Damn it, Joanie,
460
00:17:04,534 --> 00:17:08,136
recycling went out yesterday...
Why is this still here?
461
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,043
Oh! Whoa, whoa!
462
00:17:09,079 --> 00:17:10,411
- Dad!
- What?
463
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:11,746
That was a playhouse.
464
00:17:11,831 --> 00:17:12,914
Where?
465
00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:14,482
The box.
466
00:17:14,507 --> 00:17:16,173
Oh, my God.
467
00:17:16,198 --> 00:17:17,835
Were the kids inside?
468
00:17:17,921 --> 00:17:19,721
Oh! Our playhouse.
469
00:17:19,756 --> 00:17:22,757
We were gonna live here
when we got married.
470
00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:24,259
I guess it's good it got destroyed,
471
00:17:24,311 --> 00:17:26,216
- 'cause that would have been weird.
- Yep.
472
00:17:26,241 --> 00:17:28,958
Come on, kids. You want
to play with something?
473
00:17:28,983 --> 00:17:30,958
Let me show you my
rusty knife collection.
474
00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:31,911
Man.
475
00:17:31,936 --> 00:17:33,351
Dude, if you're gonna
build 'em a playhouse,
476
00:17:33,436 --> 00:17:34,936
at least build 'em one that lasts.
477
00:17:39,442 --> 00:17:40,575
(DOOR BEEPS)
478
00:17:46,783 --> 00:17:49,117
This thing is so dope. (LAUGHS)
479
00:17:49,681 --> 00:17:51,297
What are you guys doing?
480
00:17:51,322 --> 00:17:53,664
Making a playhouse. No dads allowed.
481
00:17:53,689 --> 00:17:55,632
Except for us. That's
a really confusing rule.
482
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:56,624
We need to change that.
483
00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:58,536
Uh, uh, Matt said that I could hold
484
00:17:58,561 --> 00:17:59,843
the wood when he's cutting it.
485
00:17:59,868 --> 00:18:01,629
- Ah.
- Yeah. I'm thinking about it.
486
00:18:01,654 --> 00:18:04,801
What do you think about adding
a slide for-for quick getaways?
487
00:18:04,826 --> 00:18:05,826
Totally.
488
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,302
You're gonna need a quick getaway
489
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:09,804
when this house of
cards collapses on you.
490
00:18:09,856 --> 00:18:11,606
(CHUCKLES)
491
00:18:11,641 --> 00:18:13,308
Well, he's just saying that
because he doesn't love you.
492
00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,643
This is gonna be the best fort ever.
493
00:18:16,980 --> 00:18:18,146
Wow!
494
00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:21,115
This is exactly as I envisioned it.
495
00:18:21,140 --> 00:18:22,400
I mean, I would kiss you right now,
496
00:18:22,485 --> 00:18:23,985
but I don't want to be judged.
497
00:18:24,037 --> 00:18:26,835
I don't know, the slide
is a little garbage bag-y
498
00:18:26,860 --> 00:18:27,912
for what I was going for,
499
00:18:27,937 --> 00:18:29,467
but at least it's solid.
500
00:18:29,492 --> 00:18:30,742
(LEAF BLOWER WHIRRING)
501
00:18:35,650 --> 00:18:38,082
Oh, sorry. It had leaves on it.
502
00:18:38,168 --> 00:18:39,834
What the hell, Dad?
That took us two days.
503
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:41,336
You just blew our house down.
504
00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:44,305
Well, that's because it's
shoddy workmanship, Greg.
505
00:18:44,341 --> 00:18:46,588
It wasn't me. Matt said he
knew what he was doing...
506
00:18:46,613 --> 00:18:48,650
Which he obviously didn't.
I mean, maybe if I could have
507
00:18:48,675 --> 00:18:50,276
- held some of the wood...
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
508
00:18:50,301 --> 00:18:51,706
You didn't know what
you were doing, either.
509
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,105
JOHN: Honestly, this is sad.
510
00:18:53,198 --> 00:18:56,830
My dad taught me how to
build, his dad taught him,
511
00:18:56,855 --> 00:18:59,270
and you kids just
weren't brought up right.
512
00:18:59,356 --> 00:19:01,272
Dad, you brought us up.
513
00:19:01,358 --> 00:19:02,940
I don't see it that way.
514
00:19:03,026 --> 00:19:04,859
(GASPS)
515
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:06,361
This is not our fault.
516
00:19:06,711 --> 00:19:08,667
This is Dad's fault.
517
00:19:08,816 --> 00:19:10,999
God, I feel so much better. Don't you?
518
00:19:11,034 --> 00:19:13,315
A little bit, but blaming
Dad's sort of a catchall for me.
519
00:19:13,370 --> 00:19:14,370
Yeah, that's true.
520
00:19:14,688 --> 00:19:15,803
- Dad?
- Mm-mm?
521
00:19:15,828 --> 00:19:17,111
Have a good look.
522
00:19:17,136 --> 00:19:18,586
This is your legacy.
523
00:19:18,611 --> 00:19:21,064
We are your embarrassments.
524
00:19:21,463 --> 00:19:22,633
Oh, no.
525
00:19:22,658 --> 00:19:23,878
Oh, so...
526
00:19:23,930 --> 00:19:26,424
this is what shame feels like?
527
00:19:27,217 --> 00:19:30,218
I'm gonna teach you kids
how to build a playhouse.
528
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:32,687
You also never taught
us how to tie a tie.
529
00:19:32,940 --> 00:19:35,096
A tie? Is...
530
00:19:35,167 --> 00:19:37,250
Let's do the playhouse first.
531
00:19:38,228 --> 00:19:40,061
- (DOOR BEEPS)
- Hey, Dad, check it out.
532
00:19:40,146 --> 00:19:41,901
We were able to fit all of these bricks
533
00:19:41,926 --> 00:19:43,543
and 50 pounds of mortar.
534
00:19:44,355 --> 00:19:45,700
You gonna help, Dad?
535
00:19:45,735 --> 00:19:47,485
Well, how the hell
are you two gonna learn
536
00:19:47,570 --> 00:19:48,995
if I do all the work for you?
537
00:19:49,020 --> 00:19:51,449
And I told you to get
five pounds of mortar.
538
00:19:51,856 --> 00:19:53,439
I know.
539
00:19:53,464 --> 00:19:54,909
That's why I got...
540
00:19:55,214 --> 00:19:57,912
45 pounds of backup mortar.
541
00:19:57,964 --> 00:20:00,605
Aw, we can flush the
rest down the toilet.
542
00:20:01,113 --> 00:20:02,488
Good call, Dad.
543
00:20:03,793 --> 00:20:08,028
- Thank you for our playhouse!
- They love the playhouse, Dad.
544
00:20:08,053 --> 00:20:09,685
And if you close all
the windows and doors,
545
00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,342
- it doubles as a pizza oven.
- Yeah.
546
00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,678
It was so fun building
this with you guys.
547
00:20:14,092 --> 00:20:16,676
Yep. (CLEARS THROAT) That
foundation is as strong
548
00:20:16,701 --> 00:20:18,182
as the bonds of our family.
549
00:20:18,287 --> 00:20:21,116
Your kids' kids'll be playing in that.
550
00:20:21,141 --> 00:20:23,475
Sad I won't be here to see it.
551
00:20:24,161 --> 00:20:26,691
I will have moved to Florida by then.
552
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:29,477
Excuse me. Water and Power.
I'm here to read your meters.
553
00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,028
Oh, yeah. It's right there.
554
00:20:31,064 --> 00:20:33,337
Underneath that brick, uh...
555
00:20:33,362 --> 00:20:34,971
Oh.
556
00:20:34,996 --> 00:20:37,363
Oh, you can go right in.
557
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,238
What?
558
00:20:41,291 --> 00:20:42,873
- LARK: Hello.
- (GRUNTS)
559
00:20:44,130 --> 00:20:49,130
Synced and corrected by Octavia
- www.addic7ed.com -
39662
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