Original subtitles

Subrip by DanDee

Your call has been forwarded

to an automatic voice message system.

At the tone, please record your message.

When you have finished recording,

you may hang up or press 1 for more options.

Hey, Robert. It's your dad.

Long time, no see.

Um, I've called you a few times.

You're a hard man to get in contact with, these days.

Uh, do me a favor. Call me when you get this.

Thanks.

What are you doin' here?

Your dad's started calling me now.

Mm-hmm.

Make him stop. I'm goin' to work.

What?

What year was that?

- '97. Yeah. - Very good.

We've been comin' here a long time.

- Hey. - Oh, Robert.

- Hey, Sampson. How you doin'? - Good seeing you.

- Hey. Good seeing you. - You look good.

Oh, thank you. Hey.

Hey. Everything good?

Yeah. It's great.

Good.

You, uh,

thought about my offer?

Dad, I'm not gonna go work for my parents.

I'm pickin' up jobs.

It's goin' all right.

You know, it's just the beginning.

Okay. Wouldn't have thought

photography could pay the rent, but.

So, what's up?

Why all the messages?

Why don't we order, first?

Dad, what's going on?

Your mother is in Cabo.

You had an affair?

Again?

Jesus!

You know, midlife is

a very difficult time, Robert.

- Is it? - Yeah. It is.

- Mm. - And why can't you have

a civil conversation about life, here?

So this is about me?

Robert, come on. Hey, Robert, what are you doing?

Come on! Robert!

Robert, your father's habit

of having sex with girls half of his age is getting old,

so, I'm gonna take off for a while.

I'll be back in time for your opening.

If you need money, take the job.

� Unh �

� unh �

You ready?

All right.

Hair's looking fine. Thank you.

That's it.

What's up, dude?

- This is my friend, Robert. - Hey.

Hey.

Oh, cool.

I know.

Time for the picture. Oh, okay.

Nice one.

Ah!

Hey, Marc.

Morning, Roberto.

Pretty early for you, bud.

- A little bit. - Uh-huh.

So?

So?

What do you say, $500?

In your dreams.

I could probably swing $75.

7...? The frame is worth more than $75.

$150. Ahem.

Thank you. Thank you.

Cups of coffee.

And I'm counting, this time.

All right. Thank you.

- Deal? - Deal.

All right.

Can I get two cups to go?

One with extra cream.

Put cream in the coffee, you ruin the notes.

Agh. That's too much cream.

You gotta stay positive, man, you know?

You're just about to blossom.

I feel it.

I might need one of my photos back from you

to make rent this month.

Yeah, man. Whatever you need. Hmm?

Well, I'm gonna go to work.

Call me if you have the urge to, you know, end it.

Look at this hair.

Beautiful.

- It's fantastic. - Fantastic. - Thank you

Who is here?

- Aaah! - Oh, man. Yeah.

Oh, that stinks.

That's very... I think you win.

- Robert. Attendance. - I think you're...

- All right. - All right, everybody,

please be neat. Push in your seat

- and head over to the mat, okay? - You can take that over there.

- It's time for attendance. - Can I take this?

You can take those with you, if you want.

Just bring 'em over there. Let's do this.

After we do attendance and reading, okay?

All right. Let's start with Raymond.

Where are...? Oh, there you are, Raymond.

- And then we we have Amanda. - Alison.

Amanda. All right,

you gonna keep that cash register with you?

Okay. So do...

Come over here for attendance. Time for attendance.

You know what? I'll take over. You go. Yeah. Thank you.

What is this?

This is for you. All right?

She didn't paint it. It was with her stamp.

I like it. I like the...

All right, you guys.

Why'd you put her in my class?

It's Alison's class, not yours.

Why did you put her in my class?

My dojo, my rules.

I thought this wasn't gonna happen.

I thought th-this woman...

Sara Walsh. You know her name.

Yeah. Sara Whatever. She disappears years ago.

She's back now. You're gonna float her?

It's a little more complicated than that, Robert.

You don't even know that she's your kid.

I'm 90% sure.

We're gonna go to a paternity test to be 100% sure.

Great. So, when you're 100% sure, then what?

We try to work it out, Robert.

- What are you doing? - What are you doing?

I am tryin' to work here.

What the hell are you doin'?

Hey, Mom.

What are you doing in my office?

Seriously?

You need to get back here before Dad ruins my life.

- Harry, stop hiding. - I'm not hiding, dear.

Right. So how's Mason adjusting?

You knew about this?

Robert, I have to support your father.

This is a very difficult time for all of us.

- Thank you, Miriam. - If we're being supportive,

all of a sudden, then why aren't you here?

Because your father's a prick.

Thanks, Miriam.

So, have you met the mother yet?

No! No. I'm not going to.

Why don't you just say hello to her after school?

She could be the mother of your sister, Robert.

- Half-sister. - All right. Half-sister. Okay.

So, you gotta meet her.

I quit.

I'm serious.

You hear that? It's good, right?

Yeah. What do you plan to do to make money there,

Mapplethorpe? Hmm?

All right, honey. I think that's it.

Come home soon.

I hate this. Buh-bye.

Robert.

- We're gonna be 20 minutes late. - Is this a setup?

No. It's not all about you, Mr. Narcissist, okay?

This is about me inviting you to a work friend's dinner party

because, I don't know, you had a bad day.

So, then, it is about me.

Touch�.

You didn't hear it? It was tremendously loud.

Some nice notes.

Lenny, how long do you cook that bird for?

You know like 45 minutes, 350�, but then, the last 5 minutes,

you just blast it in the broiler.

Golden-brown on top.

- It looks amazing. - Thank you. Thank you.

- My mother's recipe. - Wow.

Take the fork. Just take the fork.

- Right, do you want me to cut it? - No.

Why don't you just...?

I say just rip it.

Take it, oh.

- Yeah. - Hey.

So, Robert, uh, Lenny tells us

that you just finished an exhibition.

- I think it was photography. - Photography. Yeah.

- Cool. - Yeah.

That was a few years ago.

I'm currently working on other things,

personal things.

- Anna - Hmm?

- is an actress. - Hmm.

Well, I work at a restaurant.

That's crazy 'cause I also work at a restaurant.

- Yeah? - Funny enough, I'm...

I'm actually a barista.

It's kind of, uh, you know, it's a... it's a passion.

- Cool. - Yeah. It's nice.

I work at a preschool.

Oh, cool.

Robert shot Jesse Singleton's album cover.

Oh! I love that album!

We used to listen to that album all the time, right?

We sure did. A great record.

And, uh, which...

which part did you actually shoot?

It was on the cover of the album.

- Yeah. - It was great stuff.

- It was in the alley. - Yeah.

Well, so, what do you do at the preschool?

I do like attendance.

I walk the kids from class to class, you know?

That's great.

Creative environment for you to make your art in.

No. Actually, it's pretty miserable.

My parents run the school and they're crazy.

And, to top it off, my dad just enrolled a new student today,

who happens to be his estranged daughter

from a woman who is not my mother.

So it's a pretty dark time in my life right now.

Thank you so much for having us over.

- Our pleasure. - Yeah. Dig in!

Fantastic.

New York City's a great place to raise a child.

Dad, I thought about it and I'm not gonna meet them.

If that means I'm gonna lose my job, then...

Robert, speak of the devil.

- This is... - I know you.

- You do? - Sara-Beth!

Wh... where did you say that we met before?

I shot Jesse's album cover in the alley?

We hung out at the bar after.

- Oh! - Yeah.

- Oh, wow. Okay. - Yeah.

Oh, my goodness. So you're Harry's... s... son.

- Son, exactly. Yeah. - Okay. Hi.

Wow. How nice.

I found your number.

I tried to call you like a thousand times.

How's Jesse doin'? He's doing...? He's good?

He's good. He's good. He's workin' on a new album.

What are you doin' here?

I...

- Mommy! - Hey, pretty girl.

Can you say hello to Robert?

Hi.

Robert, this is Mason's mother, Sara.

Harry, Lynn Aldridge would like to speak with you.

- About what? - Naptime.

She thinks 30 minutes is excessive.

I'll be there. Give me a second.

- Okay. So did we...? - What?

You don't think he knows about...?

No.

I'm so sorry. This is weird for me,

but it must be very weird for you.

Yeah.

So we probably shouldn't tell him that we...

No. I think... I think we... we can omit...

So, small world, huh?

Question: How did you two meet?

I went back to that bar where you and your friends hang out.

- Ha. - Wait. What bar? My bar?

I guess.

Why would you go back there alone?

You're too old for that bar.

Uh, apparently not, Robert.

My fuckin' bar.

Jesus Christ.

Be careful, Easy Rider.

Hey. You ready to party?

Remember her?

Let's see here.

Yeah. The eyes, the ass, the rack.

Yeah, of course.

I also remember you fuckin' her. I was in the room next door.

My dad fucked her, too.

Uh, sorry, I thought you said

that your father actually had sex with her.

Yeah.

Wow.

Oh, my god.

Uh, yeah. Oh, man.

All right. Well, we gotta go.

Let's talk about it on the way.

Think my dad is getting off on all this?

Yeah. It's possible.

I mean, it's negative thinking, but it's possible.

You know, you could be Mason's father.

No. That's impossible. I've thought about it.

I'm not.

- When was she born? - Uh, January 20-somethin'.

And when did you shoot the album cover?

- May. - No. It got released in May.

You shot it in April.

It's possible.

Think about it. It's possible.

- What's up? - Uh, nothin'. Uh...

Nothin'. Do you remember Sara-Beth?

She was that blonde stylist at your shoot.

We hung out with her at our bar after.

- What bar? - Uh...

Oh. I can't believe it's you.

I haven't seen you in months, man.

What have you been up to? Anything new?

No. Just cruisin'.

Mm. Cruisin'. Nice.

- Are you done with that album? - It's done.

- It's slated for spring, man. - Cool.

We should do like another album cover together.

- Really? - Let's do something big. Yeah.

- You sure? - Totally. I bet we can pay you,

- this time, too. - All right.

- Aubrey. Hey. - Hey.

Let's go, Jesse.

Robert, this is Aubrey. Aubrey, this is Robert.

- Hi. - We met.

- Oh. - A couple of times, we met.

- Yeah. - Hey. I'll call you, yeah?

Yeah. Cool.

Cruisin'. Who says cruisin'?

Oh, hey. Excuse me. Sorry.

- Was that Jesse Singleton? - No.

Hmm.

- Hey, Robert. - Hey, Anna.

Nice shirt.

'Cause we're... we are wearing the same shirt.

Yep.

Small world.

I never knew you were such a good conversationalist.

- Oh, my god. - You okay?

April.

Kidding.

April. Yeah.

Okay.

Okay. So the evidence is pretty overwhelming.

Mm-hmm.

But, you know, maybe neither of you is the father.

I mean, she's in fashion.

I mean, I gotta tell him, though, right?

Yeah. I'm gonna come with you.

- I'm an uncle. - Put your hand...

You're not my brother.

- You're not an uncle. - Whoa whoa whoa. We've lived

together for 5 years. We've grown together.

We've regressed together. That makes me an uncle.

I can't. I can't handle these

bizarre life calculations right now.

All right. Furthermore, I don't wanna be like

one of those pedophile, bizarre like

take-the-kid-to-the-ballpark uncles.

I wanna be, you know,

great uncle Lenny, imparting wisdom.

- If you're comin', let's go. - Are we going?

I'm ready. I'm ready.

I don't think he's here.

- What are you...? - Oops!

Home, sweet home,

where father and son once romped.

Shut up.

Come on, man. I'm trying to create a loving context

for this announcement. Stay positive.

Hey, do you still have porn on this TV?

- Lenny. - What?

Oh, come on.

Look, it's a scientific method.

Look.

Don't make me feel bad for trying to better myself, man.

Ahem.

- Dad. - I'm in here.

Agh!

So much for Mom's yoga studio.

Ah-ha.

Agggh!

From every difficulty comes opportunity.

Who said that?

- Liberace. - Close.

- Albert Einstein. - Mm.

Dad, we need to talk.

Okay.

One more set.

You may have to spot me.

Uh!

A little red?

No, thank you.

Ah.

- So, tell me. - Right. Ahem.

- Oh, hi, Harold. - Oh. Hello, Lenny.

- Mind if I join you guys? - Well...

FYI, your porn channels are down.

I don't have porn channels, Lenny, FYI.

- That's my point. - What're you wastin'

my time for? Why do you come into my house?

- You're attacking me. - I'm attacking you 'cause

- I just came in here. - You come and you wanna

- watch porn at my house? - Well, yeah.

Don't do it. Don't touch my stuff.

I don't understand this hostility towards me.

Mason might be my daughter.

- What? - We had unprotected sex.

We had... Me and Sara-Beth. We. Me and Sara-Beth.

Congratulations, Grandpa. Must be quite a relief.

Why are you here?

Dad, I had sex with her at least a week before you did.

Wh... what is this?

Documentation. Lenny took it.

He can vouch for the events that followed.

Our walls are paper-thin.

And I watched. Only for a minute.

- Please leave. - Yeah. Right away.

- Dad, it might be... - What... what... what is this?

Come on. What, is this some kind of payback

for me cheatin' on your mom, goin' to your bar.

- Just look at the date. - April '09.

Yes. Okay. So that is 9 months before Mason is born.

Think about it, Harry. It checks out.

Get the fuck outta my house!

You can ask her!

I hate him.

- Are you sure? - I'm pretty sure, yes.

Yes, I'm sure.

Wow.

Ha ha. Okay.

All right. Did you tell Sara yet?

- No. Not yet. - All right.

- Oh, my god. What are you doin'? - What's it look like

- I'm doin', Robert? - You're not gonna call her.

This is not a business call. We have to tell her this

- in person. - The DNA test is tomorrow.

You're coming and she needs time to process this.

Why don't you guys just have a three-way?

Oh, my...

Conference call, like a hard line.

What?

No, Daddy, we are fine on our own.

It doesn't matter where we are.

I am not telling...

Daddy, I gotta go. I have another call. Okay?

- Hi, Harry. - Hi! Hi, Sara.

- Uh, Robert's here too. - I'm here. I'm here.

- Oh. Hi, Robert. - Hi.

So, there's been this whole...

development in the fatherhood situation.

Uh, yeah, so there's, uh,

documentation that exists

that indicates that you and I may have had...

Just get to it.

That we might both be the father.

Okay. Um...

Well, will the test be able to sort that kind of thing out

- or...? - A- Absolutely.

- Are you okay? - All right.

- Are you o...? - Yeah. Yeah. No. I'm fine.

I'll see you...

both of you... tomorrow at the doctor's, I guess.

- Okay. - All right.

- Bye. Bye. - Bye.

Ohhh.

"Both be the father," seriously?

- Yeah. - That's what you came up with?

- Okay. All right. - Guys. Guys, guys, guys, guys.

It's confusing.

- How's Miriam, Harry? - Oh, she's great.

She's still on vacation.

Interesting time to take a vacation.

Yeah.

May I ask how Daddy and Junior

ended up dipping in the same well?

- Hey, guys! - Hey.

How you doin'? Sorry I'm a little late.

Mwah. Good to see you.

Hi. Sara-Beth Walsh.

- Nice to meet you. - Very nice to meet you.

And this is my daughter, Mason.

- Hi. - Hi!

So, the process is simple.

We take a hair, we draw some blood,

send it to the geneticist.

Should take about a week to get a result.

- Great. - Okay.

Thank you.

- How are you? - Good! We're good.

- Is the blood draw necessary? - Robert, man up, will ya?

- For God's sake. - You know, you're the one

- having a midlife crisis. - Oh.

Hi. I mean, who's the 4-Year-old around here?

- Can we stop? Can we stop? - Is it you, or is it her?

Enough. Enough.

Robert's afraid of blood, so, he's scared.

- Oh, really? - Take it easy. It's all right.

You'll live through this.

Ahem!

Who's first?

Sometimes I wish I hadn't converted the building

into a preschool, but, parents will always

- take care of their kids first. - Right.

- That's the rule. - That's true.

And kids? Kids are very good business.

Sara-Beth, check this out.

Oh, I remember these.

They supposed to be that grainy?

Yeah. You should look at 'em with your glasses on

next time, Dad.

Aha ha ha.

Ahem. Let's go, kids.

Sara-Beth, are you still in fashion?

- Guilty. - Yeah. Now she's starting

her own clothing line, Robert, branding herself

and everything like that. It's kind of great.

A girl can dream, right?

- Ha ha. - Yeah, I salvage

vintage dresses, jewelry, that kind of stuff.

And why'd you leave New York?

You know, being in Knoxville with my family

seemed like a much more viable option.

They really helped out a lot. They essentially raised her.

Well, it is good to have you back.

- Thank... - Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

Aw, thank you. Yeah. It's... it's good to be back.

I... I love New York.

And, plus, I wanted Mason to meet her father.

I think she thought my dad was her dad,

so it was getting a little confusing.

Yeah. I can't believe you didn't know all that, Robert.

H... how would I know that?

She was living in Texas.

Actually, Tennessee. Knoxville, Tennessee.

Heh. Had to leave him back a year. He's a little slow.

Oh.

So, in the meantime,

I'm actually doing styling for Tosh Wolfe?

Wow. That's... I... I love him.

I... I have one of his books.

Cool. Good.

He's amazing.

He's a photographer, Dad.

I realize that, Robert.

I bought you that book.

Well, guys,

thank you so much for dealing with me and...

- Hey. - Staying with me

- throughout all of this. - Don't worry about it.

- It's not a problem. - All right, well, I guess

I'll see you both at the end of the week.

- Mm-hmm. - Hey, listen,

if Mason needs anything... clothes, shoes,

I don't know, uh, toys... take care of it.

And Joyce will be dropping her off here after work.

- Thank you so much, Harry. - I get paid next week,

so I can chip in.

Thank you. Thank you both, so much.

Call me if you need anything, okay?

- Yeah, I will. - All right.

Hopefully, next week, it won't be so weird, ha.

- Word. - Okay.

- Yeah, word. - Bye, guys.

- Ahem. - Ahem.

By the way, I saw the way that you were looking at her.

Right. Right. And you weren't.

Let me make something clear, all right?

I am not interested in that kind of relationship with Sara.

Wh... what kind of relationship are you interested in?

Look, do us both a favor and keep it in your pants

until we know what's what and who's whose.

Got it.

By the way, her name is Mason

and I'm perfectly capable of being a father.

Yeah, that's some father figure,

living in a shithole with Lenny.

Have fun on your little scooter, dear.

Dear.

Son of a fuck!

Heh.

Ahem.

Hi, honey. It's me.

Right. Yeah, that's good.

I got good news.

You're being way too grim about this.

Elaborate on how I'm being too grim.

You're lucky you can be a father.

You're lucky you have a father who would support you,

if you are a father and, chances are,

your father is the actual father of said child.

That's pretty good advice, coming from a guy

who never knew his father, right?

I have no idea what you're talking about.

Look, I'm just saying that, you know,

I don't know. It's complicated.

I don't know. Either way, I think I gotta at least

kind of figure this out with Sara-Beth.

- No. No. - Right? At least.

No. No. No.

Stay away from her.

She might be fucking your father.

- Lenny... - You know, if you want to get

that image out of your head, you can watch some porn.

Hey, Anna!

Hello.

Hey. How you been?

You know? I am good.

Good.

You guys just chillin'?

Good.

What?

We're good.

Um...

how is your... situation?

What?

Oh, I told her.

- Thanks, Lenny. - Sure.

Um,

I'll probably figure it out in a few days.

More like Connect Three, huh?

- Ha. - Hmm? What?

Don't worry about it.

Do you... want a sandwich?

Hmm... no. No.

I was just walking by.

Cool.

Yeah.

You guys should meet up next week.

- That works. That works for me. - Sure. Works for me.

- Yeah? - Yeah?

- He can call you. - That's great.

- That's a great idea. - Right?

Great. I'll call you.

Goo-oo-d. Okay. I'm gonna...

Ha!

- She great? - You don't find it weird

that she just invites herself to the table?

- Perfectly normal. - Normal?

Oh, yeah. Oh, my god. Look at this.

Connect four. I didn't even realize.

Look at that. You want to play again?

I love this place.

You excited?

Here we go. Go on inside.

Why aren't you inside?

- Day off. - Oh.

- Yeah. - Cool.

You wanna grab some coffee or something downtown?

Yeah.

Yeah, that would be great.

Do we just hop on the Metro and go?

We could hop on the Metro, but we call it the subway.

Well, then, why do they call it a MetroCard?

We have three dogs at home.

One of them used to be mine, until I had Mason.

How's she doing?

She's doing okay.

This is confusing for her.

Oh, yeah. I mean.

Um.

She seems happy.

Out-outwardly.

Yeah. Yeah, she is.

She's my baby girl.

Let me get a little bit more.

All right.

Do you smoke a lot of pot, Robert?

Um, not really. My... My roommate Lenny does.

Lenny the pothead.

So I have a question for you.

Mm-hmm.

If today was your day off,

then what were you doing at the school?

I, uh,

I left my wallet there, so I had to pick it up.

Oh.

Oh. This is gorgeous! Isn't it?

- It's nice. - Speaking of that,

why don't you have your camera on you?

Actually, I haven't been taking a lot of photos recently.

It's been less and less, anyway.

- Really? - Yeah.

Everyone's a photographer now

and it takes a really long time to get good at it

and really know what you're doing.

It's complicated.

Well, maybe you just need to rethink your approach,

you know. For the longest time, I thought

I wanted to be a singer or a dancer and dress up

and then I realized that I just like to dress up.

Oh!

Hey, guys! Excuse me.

My friend can get a picture of all of you guys together.

- Oh. - He's a very talented

- photographer. - Sara. Sara, no.

And he would love to take a photo of you.

- Oh, god. - Come on.

Thank you.

Works for us.

Mm.

Say, uh, "Diane Arbus."

Diane Arbus.

- There. - Perfect.

You're welcome.

You're right. He is good.

Oh, good. Take care.

- Enjoy your stay. - Thank you.

- Now, why was that so hard? - I don't know.

You did good!

Hey, do you want to walk me home?

Don't you have to pick up Mason?

Whoops! Whoa.

Guess I totally forgot. Um.

Kind of new at this whole single-mom thing.

Uh, listen, listen.

Just because they say it's ecofriendly

doesn't mean it's ecofriendly.

Do I personally care?

Yes, I care a great deal.

But the information that they're giving you

is only as reliable as the person who's giving it to you

and what are you paying me for?

Look, it is a free-standing structure.

It's not a building.

I can't tell you how many times...

Hey, Daisy. Oh, sorry.

You'll say hello one day.

- Robert! - How you doing? You having fun?

- Yeah. - You want a snack?

- Yeah. - All right. Let's get a snack.

Wait up, wait up.

You're gonna color on the table, okay?

- I need help. - Yeah?

Come over here and then I'll help you, all right?

Oh, Isabella and Maya, this is gorgeous.

So, ladies, if you can take it,

we're going to put it over there, by the easel, okay?

- Okay. - Hey, Mason.

You have one? You can use that one, then.

That is a very nice painting.

It's Gram-gram and Hooty's house.

- I miss Hooty. - Yeah?

What kinds of things did you and Hooty used to do together?

All kind of things.

Did Hooty teach you how to paint like this?

No. Mommy did.

Who's Harry?

Harry is my dad.

And he might be my daddy?

He might be.

You want to see something?

You know how to use this?

No?

Ready?

You want to give it a try?

Put it up to your eye.

There you go. And you point over at me.

You see this button up top?

Just press it as hard as you can until you see the thing flash.

Ready? There you go.

That was perfect. That was really perfect.

Mommy, Robert said Harry might be my dad.

I thought Hooty was my daddy.

It's complicated, baby.

Robert could be my daddy.

- He's cool. - Maybe. We'll find out soon.

Mm-hmm.

I know you said a week, Dr. Schnieder, but...

Ugh! All right.

Do we have a winner?

- Shouldn't you be at work? - I'm hungover.

So, I think my dad stole my moped.

He didn't.

But even if he did, good riddance.

That thing literally menstruates.

Hey, hey, hey.

Yeah. What's up?

About that Tosh Wolfe job.

Yeah. It's, um,

it's killing me.

Um, I was gonna ask you:

do you think that you could pick up Mason after school?

Sure. Yeah. That's great.

Okay. All right. All right. Bye.

Get dressed. I'm babysitting.

Really? Yes!

Maybe we can take her to the airport.

That's a good idea. Kids like planes.

No. No. Not for the planes, for the drama.

I mean, the arriving, the leaving.

People hugging, people crying.

It's a tableau of human emotion.

I don't think kids are really into that stuff.

- Sure they are. I was. - Yeah, like I said,

I don't think kids are into that kind of stuff.

You're undermining my uncle confidence, Robert.

- Can we go? Please. Let's go. - I'm ready to go.

- Okay. Let's get up. Up! - I'm ready to go.

All right. Let's get some pants on

- and some shoes, all right? - I have pants on.

- No. No. Like real pants. - They are real pants.

- What you see is what you get. - Shoes. All right?

Hey, Joyce.

We're here.

Okay. Okay.

She's gonna bring her out.

I look okay?

Relax. She's 4.

I don't know what that means.

Hey, Mason.

- Hi. - Hi, Joyce.

I like that shirt, Mason.

Harry took us to the planetarian.

To the what?

- The planetarian. - The planetarium.

Oh, cool. Cool beans.

This is Lenny.

- Hi. I'm Mason. - Hi, Mason.

Do you know Robert might be my dad?

I did know that.

I was actually in the adjacent room

when you were being conceived.

Oh, my god!

- Goodbye, Robert. - Bye, Joyce.

Hey Mason, you have somewhere safe you can put this?

You have a pocket in here?

Yeah? All right. Okay.

So put it in here

and don't let Joyce take it from you, okay?

- Okay. - So you want to go somewhere

way more fun than that boring old planetarium?

- Yeah! - How about the airport?

- Lenny. - What?

All right. Let's go.

Go ahead.

Ah. C'mere.

Oh!

Dude.

Hey, Mason, no matter what that light says,

don't go until you see another person go first,

- all right? - Yeah.

All right. Let's do it. Let's go.

Uh, take my hand?

Get in there, kiddo.

Oh, good. You asked out Anna.

What? No. No, I didn't.

- Who is that? Who are you...? - That was Brie.

- She heard it from Jack. - No, I said we'd hang out.

- That's it. - Stop being defensive.

- How am I being defensive? - Hi!

Relax! Can't be so negative around Mason.

- Hey, Sampson. - So, when are you gonna

- bring back my favorite photo? - Look, I'm sorry.

Next time, I'll bring it back. Okay.

I don't like that actresses can cry on command.

That freaks me out.

- Do you think she can do that? - Probably.

- Can you find that out for me? - Yeah.

- Okay. - Go ahead.

I gotta admit, she is kind of interesting.

You're our director, so you get us started.

- Ready? - Ready.

Ready. Say "action."

Action!

� Ah do-do do-do do-do �

Here we are.

Thank you, Diane.

That is your lion friend?

What are you doin' here, Lion?

Is this supposed to be a joke?

No, I thought it would be nice.

No, I don't think it's nice that she's spending

this kind of time in your apartment,

in your crappy neighborhood.

It's not good for her.

Jesus Christ.

Well, at least I know she's not riding around with you

on that death trap of yours.

So you stole my moped?

- Really? - Really.

You're potentially about to be a father.

You're worried about your little moped?

Hey.

Hey, Robert. How you doin'?

Good. You busy at work?

Yeah. I'm actually superbusy.

Would you... would you take Mason home again for me?

Um, yeah, sure. No problem.

Okay. Thank you again. Okay, bye.

Listen, if you're going to smoke,

can you point it towards the window?

Just can we be done with this?

Yes. Please.

It's a process, guys.

- Can you relax? - I remember you.

- Yeah. - Relax.

- Hey, guys. - Hey.

- Where's Mason? - It's okay.

- She's asleep in Robert's room. - Oh.

You okay?

How was she?

She was great. We had a really good day.

- We went all around the city. - No. No. No.

We went to the airport.

Incredible. She had a great time.

So, by overloading your brain with erotic material,

you're stripping away every physical idea

that initially attracts you to women,

thus creating a true, meaningful relationship.

Exactly.

Isn't that comforting?

Don't let Mason get into Tom Petty.

- Okay. - She'll sell herself short

for like the rest of her life.

- Mommy! - Ah!

What?

Okay. Okay. All right. We're fine.

I think she saw my D.

Might be the first D she's ever seen.

This might mean something, right?

Yeah. I'm gonna see you guys later.

Yeah. Take care.

Right?

It's getting late. I'm gonna put Mason

- to bed here, okay? - Sorry.

- What are you doing? - Sleep on the couch.

So, there is exactly one egg in this apartment.

Who wants it?

- Me! - You want it? All right.

- I do. I do. - Oh, what the...?

- There you go. - There we go.

- How's that look? - Thank you.

- You're welcome. - Good job.

- So how's your business going? - Oh, um, it's just starting up.

Harry's sending me to his lawyer to get incorporated.

Great.

I could help you with that.

Yeah. Believe it or not, Lenny

probably knows that world much better than my father,

in terms of legal jargon and all that.

Really?

Well, that would be really great, actually,

'cause Harry's already doing so much.

- How is that? - So, yeah.

How's Tosh?

Pretty terrible, but, you know.

You gotta work to get work, right?

You know what I mean?

Are you gonna go get a job?

I think it's time for you to get a job.

No-o-o.

No-o-o?

Mason, I can put you to work. You can clean my room.

I'm serious.

You can come over. It's up to you.

Robert.

- Yeah. - Hi, Harry.

Hi, honey. So, Sara-Beth spent the night

at your apartment again last night?

Yeah, so?

- Did you sleep with her? - What?

What kind of question is that?

A direct one. Answer it.

No! Of course not!

I helped her out with Mason.

Let me guess: Mason's exposed

to pot smoking, pornography, and shitty Chinese food?

Actually, we had a really great day together.

Did I not ask you to wait till we get the results?

- I understand. - Did I ask you?

Really? You two, just stop it.

Enough!

Hi, Miriam.

Hi, Mom. Ahem.

Welcome home.

Where is she?

Mason?

Right there.

Oh.

She's beautiful.

Hey, Mason. Come over here.

- This is Miriam. Miriam's my mom. - Hi.

Hi.

Well, I think I'm gonna be a grandmother.

- Not necessarily. - Hi.

Shut up, Harry.

Can I give you a hug?

Big hug?

- All right, um... - The bickering is getting

very old, Harry.

That's just the way it is, Miriam.

Maybe we should just not let him work here anymore, okay?

- Because we're not helping him. - Now, come on.

Robert might be a father next week.

Yeah.

I think I'm depressed.

You're not depressed, Harry.

You're alone. There's a difference.

Yeah. Okay.

Look, I know I brought this on myself,

- but it is nothing to it that... - Not my problem anymore, Harry.

Harry, Ms. Walsh is here to see you.

Is that...?

Yeah, maybe we should do this another time.

Just send her in, please.

You got it.

Oh, my god. You motherfucker.

Hey, let's not have name-calling.

- Oh, just blow it out your ass. - Okay.

Hi. I'm Miriam.

- Harry's wife. - Hi.

Sara-Beth. Nice to meet you.

- I am very sorry. I... - No. No. No. Nope. Nope.

Men are dogs. I did not come here for an apology.

I came here to meet you and your wonderful daughter.

I just wanted to say...

Thank you. By the way, that one's

pretty wonderful, too.

Would you like to get some dinner?

- I would love that. - Sounds great. Let's go.

No, you're not invited, Harry.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

- Girls' night? - Mm-hmm.

- Just like that? - Yes.

Okay.

Robert, Mason, and I will

- do stuff that's fun. - Good.

Is this man party

To this evil plot, Chipmunk?

Why are you not watching the movie?

I have it on tape, so.

Aw, poor chipmunk.

Speechless in my presence.

What say you, sir? Don't try my patience.

I... I don't know what you're talking.

I seek a beautiful girl, my other half, my one...

This is my kind of night: beer and Chinese food.

Mm-hmm. You like it?

I love it. It's excellent.

We're longtime customers there.

Harry took me there on our first date.

Me, too!

Okay! Got me.

It's been a while since I sat through one of those.

There you go.

Under the covers.

Okay?

How about if I read you a book?

Here we go.

"Come see the amazing diving horse."

No. I want both of you.

All right.

Okay.

"A long, long time ago, in a city quite close,

the brave young horse with a long brown nose.

His name was Dale the Diving Horse

and he was quite famous, of course.

So what if they took your photos down?

Two weeks in a serious gallery.

Yeah, 3 years ago.

How are things with Sara-Beth?

It's okay to be worried.

I don't even... I don't even know yet.

Oh.

- What? - This is your new work?

Oh, you jerk. No.

No, those are Mason's.

Oh.

Sweet. I was wondering.

I was thinking of teaching the kids

a class on photography.

That's a good idea.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

You're not just saying that? You're sure?

No. I wouldn't just say that.

- All right. - I mean it.

- I do. - Let's go.

Let's get outta here. I've seen enough.

- Where are we eatin'? - I don't know.

You know the neighborhood, right?

Okay, so this is your LLC,

okay? It allows for pass-through taxation,

which is great, 'cause it's an easy thing.

- Okay. - It protects you and Harry

from being personally liable, you know,

- should the worst thing happen. - Right.

This is your number and that is his number.

- So we're separate? - Yeah, totally.

- Okay. - It's really just pretty basic.

Yeah, it's scaring me 'cause I actually think

- I understand it. - Yeah, of course.

So maybe I don't, entirely, but.

No, no, no. I think you got it.

Okay. What do you do? You're not an accountant.

Um, I raise capital to purchase intellectual properties.

- Very fancy. - Yeah, no no no,

it's very fancy.

Well, you will get a free pair of cowboy boots

When it's all said and done.

- Right. - Hey!

- Hey. - Hey.

What's goin' on?

Oh, I was just talking with Lenny about my new business.

Yeah.

Where's Mason?

Um, she stayed late at school and then Harry took her.

Just hangin' out.

- Excuse me. - Yeah, sure.

Hi.

Hey.

Are you mad at me?

No, you're working all the angles, right?

Robert.

You know, you get me to babysit,

have my dad give you money and pay your rent.

You're gonna fuck one of my friends.

Robert.

Come on, I was calling him because I wanted

to ask him advice on setting up my business.

I don't want to do everything with your father.

Right, 'cause Lenny's brilliant sexual theory

has nothing to do with this.

Are you serious?

Look...

I... I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. It's just there's a lot going on at once.

I'm sorry.

Do you want to help me tomorrow with Tosh?

Sure.

You can bring stuff over to the shoot tomorrow

and I can introduce you to him.

I'm more interested in just helping you.

Hey.

About last night.

What?

Fine. Don't worry about it.

Okay. Good. Just 'cause I feel like we,

you know, have a real connection.

Furthermore, I think she might be feeling smothered

- by you and Harry. - Will you stop talking, Lenny?

What? I'm just saying that there could be

some objectification at play, some sort of nascent...

Robert.

Great.

Come down.

Stylist!

What is this, exactly?

Hey. You all right?

Hey. Yeah, I cannot keep up with this.

Thank you so much for bringing this.

Oh, shit! Oh, god.

These are all the wrong size. They got me the wrong size.

- Oh, god. - Stylist.

- Yes. - Do you want me to...?

- I can take them 'em back. - No, no, no. It's fine.

- It's fine. - No, it's fine. I can just

- It's not a problem. - Clamp it in the back

- or something. - Hey, what's the holdup?

Oh, yes, I just have to pin the underwear.

Mr. Wolfe, I just want to say I really admire your work.

Let's go.

He's actually a really talented photographer.

I only have it for 30 minutes. Let's go.

- Now, now. - Okay, that's my cue. Bye.

Talk to you later.

Okay, hurry.

- And you didn't tell me. - Hmm?

- Dinner. - Yes.

Sara. Did it freak her out or...?

- Did...? - What'd you do to her?

I didn't... Did I freak her out?

- Yeah. - No, she's in her 20s.

She's appropriately freaked out, Harry.

Yeah. Yeah, well.

- Say, "cheese." - Ohhh.

Cheese.

- And cereal is milk, right? - Yeah.

Yes! How many of you love milk?

- Oh, I'm so glad. - Dr. Schnieder, please.

- Yes. Yes, yes. - It's Robert.

So, give away these bowls, first, and then...

Okay, okay. So, so nothing. Yes.

- Thanks. - Right?

Because too much milk, what happens?

- Soggy. - Yes!

And then, too little milk, what happens?

- Dry. - There you go.

Just enough cereal.

Very good.

You got a bowl?

Did you get cereal?

Hey.

Fancy a drink?

Sure.

You're not my boss.

- Um... - My boss fired me today.

- Oh. - So, that's what happened there.

It was a rough day?

Yeah, man. Tosh is...

I don't think I've met a bigger jerk than that guy.

He's an idiot.

You haven't.

Unfortunately, that's how it goes in my industry.

What better reason to start your own line?

Yeah.

That is exactly what your dad said.

Can we please not talk about him today?

Robert. Be nice.

He's savin' my ass.

That's good.

My parents are really upset that Mason and I left.

- They invested a lot in her. - Uh-huh.

- And they helped me raise her. - Yeah.

They really don't want either of us to live in New York.

You... You're... you're an adult. They can't...

Do they know about Harry and me?

Um, no.

I mean,

- I just told them Harry Lang. - Mm-hmm.

To parents.

I have a weird question for you.

What?

Would you say that you like my hair better now?

I don't. I...

Or did you like it better before?

I don't know. I like it. I liked it both ways.

It's nice. You know?

- No. No, no, no, no. No. - Huh?

No.

Sara?

Sara!

No.

- What? - Did we...?

No, no!

Well, I mean, there was the cab, but.

- No memory. - No.

Where's Mason?

Uhhh, at Harry's. Relax!

Shit!

Nothing happened, okay?

- Hey. Hey, Miriam. - Hi.

- Where's Mason? - Joyce picked her up

and brought her to school.

Where have you two been?

Did you two spend the night together?

Yeah. We...

Wow.

You know, every time I put a little faith in you, Robert,

you do something that makes me lose it.

All right, you know what'd be good?

A life for Mason without you in it.

Okay, that... Just stop it, all right?

You know what? I have to... I have to lie down.

I just can't.

Yeah, well, the doctor appointment

is at 12:00 noon, if anyone's interested.

Unbelievable.

Dad.

What? He's not here.

Oh, looks like a full house.

Oh, how was the, uh, vacation, Miriam?

Fine.

- Good week, Robert? - No.

Okay, so, we can get on with this, right? Yeah.

Ahem!

So,

Mason's father is

Harry Lang.

Hey, listen. I need to take a walk, so,

I will pick up dinner.

I will see you guys back at the apartment.

What about Mason?

Well, Joyce is gonna pick her up. It's covered.

Are you hungry? We're starving.

Um, no.

You have to go, talk to her, now.

Okay.

Hey, Mason.

Uh, Aunt Miriam's gonna look after you for a second, okay?

- Aunt? - You got something better?

You got something better than aunt?

- Hey. - Hey.

- Where you goin'? - I'm goin' home to Tennessee.

I... I can't do this, okay?

This isn't gonna work out. Can't do this.

You could just tell Mason that we're all family.

But Harry doesn't even wanna do this,

I can't keep letting Mason down,

I can't keep running away from my parents,

and I don't belong here.

All right. I get it.

But you're wrong about Harry. He's just scared.

I can talk to him.

We'll figure this out, okay?

Don't go anywhere yet. All right?

Hey, Dad. Um, hope you're all right.

So, Sara-Beth was saying that she might be

heading back to Tennessee.

So, you know, it might be a good time

to give her a call, stop by the house, whatever.

Look, I'm sorry about Sara.

It's just we get along.

- She understands the process. - It's okay.

Do you wanna get a coffee and talk about it, or...?

Later, man. I gotta talk to my dad.

I just feel like we have something worth exploring.

- Dude. - It's fine, Lenny.

We'll talk later.

There he is.

- Busted! - A little bit.

Wow.

So, I guess the word is I'm a big coward now, huh?

Never said that.

Robert, I judge people.

I judged you.

I still judge you and I don't wanna do that to Mason.

Then don't. Don't.

Yeah, that's easy for you to say.

Truth is, you would be a better father to her.

- No, you don't know that. - Sure I do.

- You don't. - Yeah, I do.

I mean, you're a natural with kids.

I grew up in a preschool.

- That's true. - Yeah.

Dad, Dad, you're all right.

As a father, you are.

And all right's pretty good.

Just help me out with this fathering thing.

- You got it. - Sorry, we're closed.

- You got it. - No, but thank you.

- Oh, no, no, no. - Yes.

Lenny.

- Yes! Yes. - What?

We need a bigger table.

- Why? - Miriam!

- How are you? - Good.

- Hi. - Hello.

Sara-Beth.

Mason, throw some of those noodles on top of there.

That is disgusting.

You're gonna start sweating and the whole place is gonna stink.

- Are you done? - I got a spicy thing before.

- Yeah, what was that? - Yeah, what was that like?

- What?! - Come on.

Hey, Robert.

- Did you show your dad? - The, uh, the pictures?

- Yeah. - Oh, no. Um.

I was telling Mom. Look at these.

I was hoping to maybe

start a photography class for the kids.

Wow, yeah.

It's, um, it's avant-garde.

- Yep. - That's right.

They're Mason's, you realize, right?

Yeah. It's not a bad idea, actually. This is good work.

Good idea. I've never had a bad idea, right?

Lenny.

Are... are you guys serious?

I don't mind. It's just I... I don't see it.

- Harry, let it go. - We're grownups.

Listen, I have to say something. Uh...

You should make an announcement, Harry.

This time around, I'm going to be...

I'm going to be there. I'm going to be present

for everyone in this family.

Mason and everybody.

All right, take a step back, okay?

Don't cover the flash.

I'm not gonna cover the fl... cover the flash.

All right, everybody, get together.

- You ready? - Okay, crew, smile.

C'mon, everybody. Ready.

- Is that a smile, Harry? - Yeah.

All right. 1, 2, 3.

Got it.

- So I gotta go. - Where you going?

I got things to do.

Why don't you come back with us?

Nah, no. Um, hey, Mason,

you gonna go home with your old man?

- But I want you to be my dad. - You've got a dad.

He's your dad.

- How about a brother? - Yeah.

You want a brother? Okay, deal.

� I traveled the world �

- See ya. - See ya.

We have matching pants. We have matching shirts.

� To get my � - Yeah, I know.

That was funny. Look at that.

� I guess it's the price you have to pay �

� to collect what you're owed �

� I stare and think as lovers pass �

Who's that? Is it someone for you?

Harry Lang?

Who wants to know?

Hooty-y-y-y-y-y-y-y!

� To give part of my life to you �

Hi, Mama.

� I am swimming �

� in the water �

� I am drinking �

� all the wine �

� I am moving �

� out of body �

� I am going �

� out of mind �

� When the crowds disappear �

� all the silence is left here �

� I am swimming �

� in the water �

� I am drinking �

� all the wine �

� I am moving �

� out of body �

� I am going �

� out of mind �

Subrip by DanDee