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# You must remember this
2
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# A kiss is still a kiss
3
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# A sigh is just a sigh
4
00:00:21,087 --> 00:00:24,796
# The fundamental things apply
5
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# As time goes by #
6
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Good morning, sir. One?
7
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This way, sir.
8
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This is a table for six, sir.
9
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I may be joined by someone,
I may be joined by five people.
10
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If I'm joined by 11 people,
I may need to move to a table for 12.
11
00:01:03,247 --> 00:01:07,206
Very well, sir. How will you be paying,
cash or charged to the room?
12
00:01:07,247 --> 00:01:09,158
I haven't ordered anything yet.
13
00:01:09,207 --> 00:01:12,836
Sorry, sir. What would you like?
We are serving brunch.
14
00:01:12,887 --> 00:01:16,277
Are you? I assume between lunch
and dinner you serve linner.
15
00:01:17,887 --> 00:01:19,605
No, sir, tea.
16
00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:21,603
Just bring me a pot of coffee, would you?
17
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Yes, sir. And how will you be paying,
cash or charged to the room?
18
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The room. 405.
19
00:01:26,767 --> 00:01:33,115
If you'd like to put your name in capitals
there, sir, and your signature there.
20
00:01:33,167 --> 00:01:35,397
Would you like my birth certificate as well?
21
00:01:35,447 --> 00:01:37,483
I'll get your coffee, sir.
22
00:01:44,967 --> 00:01:48,118
I'm sorry if I've been rather abrupt
but I ordered a pot of coffee.
23
00:01:48,167 --> 00:01:52,240
We only serve cups, sir,
but I will be around to top you up.
24
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I can hardly wait!
25
00:02:11,007 --> 00:02:12,998
She threw her shoe at the window.
26
00:02:13,047 --> 00:02:15,322
- Oh, did it break?
- It's toughened glass.
27
00:02:15,367 --> 00:02:17,164
I meant the shoe.
28
00:02:17,207 --> 00:02:19,675
- No, I don't think so.
- Pity.
29
00:02:19,727 --> 00:02:24,243
Mum, you just sacked the girl, you don't want
her to have to limp home as well, do you?
30
00:02:24,287 --> 00:02:29,759
Providing an efficient secretarial service
is what we are about. I have a reputation.
31
00:02:29,807 --> 00:02:33,197
- You're getting one.
- And the agency has a reputation.
32
00:02:33,247 --> 00:02:37,399
I won't have it blown apart by someone
who thinks that by being a temp
33
00:02:37,447 --> 00:02:39,836
is an easy way of making a fast buck.
34
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- Pound.
- Pound.
35
00:02:41,767 --> 00:02:44,122
"Crab apple" they're starting to call you.
36
00:02:44,167 --> 00:02:47,318
I don't care what they are starting to c...
Who are?
37
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:51,201
The girls, and I have to say, this morning,
even by crab apple standards...
38
00:02:51,247 --> 00:02:55,445
- Look, I was here very early this morning.
- I know, I heard you leave.
39
00:02:55,487 --> 00:02:57,717
I couldn't get a taxi, so I hopped on a bus.
40
00:02:57,767 --> 00:03:00,679
When I came to pay,
the conductor asked me if I had a bus pass.
41
00:03:00,727 --> 00:03:02,445
It's not funny.
42
00:03:02,487 --> 00:03:06,241
It's not that serious either.
It's all in the mind, age.
43
00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:08,437
What, you mean dying brain cells?
44
00:03:08,487 --> 00:03:12,321
- I've got work to do.
- Yes. Get to this hotel, wherever it is.
45
00:03:12,367 --> 00:03:15,564
- Make peace with the fellow who's shouting.
- Why me?
46
00:03:15,607 --> 00:03:17,245
Oh, because you're sweet.
47
00:03:17,287 --> 00:03:20,996
- Because you're good at it, come on.
- One of nature's punch bags.
48
00:03:21,047 --> 00:03:23,800
Judy, all I'm asking you is to pacify a client.
49
00:03:23,847 --> 00:03:27,556
Not to slip into a hair shirt
and crawl around there barefoot.
50
00:03:27,607 --> 00:03:31,600
- All right.
- And if he's a heterosexual, show your legs.
51
00:03:32,527 --> 00:03:34,199
That's a sexist remark.
52
00:03:34,247 --> 00:03:36,477
Well, it's two sexist remarks, actually.
53
00:03:37,487 --> 00:03:39,796
Are you going to get a bus pass?
54
00:04:04,447 --> 00:04:07,598
- Oh, thank you so much.
- Not at all, sir.
55
00:04:11,607 --> 00:04:13,598
- Mr Hardcastle?
- Yes?
56
00:04:13,647 --> 00:04:16,002
Judith Hanson, from Type For You.
57
00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:18,515
Oh... yes.
58
00:04:19,327 --> 00:04:23,843
Won't you, um... May I offer you something?
The coffee's foul.
59
00:04:23,887 --> 00:04:26,162
Just a mineral water, thank you.
60
00:04:26,207 --> 00:04:29,961
- A mineral water for the lady, please.
- Still or aerated?
61
00:04:30,007 --> 00:04:31,679
Still, please.
62
00:04:31,727 --> 00:04:34,287
Will that be cash, sir, or charged to the...
63
00:04:36,407 --> 00:04:39,205
Now, this secretary you sent me...
64
00:04:39,247 --> 00:04:43,240
She's been dismissed, of course. I don't know
how she come to be on the books at all,
65
00:04:43,287 --> 00:04:45,721
she must have just slipped through the net.
66
00:04:45,767 --> 00:04:48,327
Please accept our sincere apologies.
67
00:04:48,367 --> 00:04:51,757
We shall, of course, put another secretary
on standby, one of our best.
68
00:04:51,807 --> 00:04:55,004
She'll be at your disposal
should you be generous enough
69
00:04:55,047 --> 00:04:57,561
to continue to favour us with your custom.
70
00:04:57,607 --> 00:05:00,360
Oh. Well, I'd expect no less, of course.
71
00:05:00,407 --> 00:05:02,398
- Naturally.
- It's such a waste of time.
72
00:05:02,447 --> 00:05:04,517
I am truly sorry.
73
00:05:05,567 --> 00:05:07,364
Well, I...
74
00:05:08,567 --> 00:05:11,365
I shouldn't have used such language
on the telephone.
75
00:05:11,407 --> 00:05:13,637
- You were angry.
- Yes, I do get angry.
76
00:05:13,687 --> 00:05:16,599
The older you get, the more there seems to be
to be angry about.
77
00:05:16,647 --> 00:05:20,640
- You're not old.
- I didn't say I was, I said the older you get.
78
00:05:21,407 --> 00:05:23,682
Thank you.
79
00:05:23,727 --> 00:05:28,482
It's the revisions on the book. They go
on and on, lengthen this, strengthen that.
80
00:05:28,527 --> 00:05:32,076
All from a publisher who is about 14 years old
and insists on calling me "mate".
81
00:05:32,127 --> 00:05:36,757
- A book? Are you a novelist?
- Oh, good God, no! It's an autobiography.
82
00:05:36,807 --> 00:05:39,241
I was a coffee planter in Kenya for some time.
83
00:05:39,287 --> 00:05:41,198
It's about my life out there.
84
00:05:41,247 --> 00:05:43,158
What's it called?
85
00:05:43,207 --> 00:05:44,720
My Life In Kenya.
86
00:05:46,487 --> 00:05:48,318
Yeah, bloody awful title, isn't it?
87
00:05:48,367 --> 00:05:51,200
It's not the catchiest thing I've ever heard.
88
00:05:51,247 --> 00:05:52,646
No.
89
00:05:52,687 --> 00:05:57,283
My 14-year-old publisher suggested something
with beans in it, as in coffee beans.
90
00:05:57,327 --> 00:05:59,557
- Jumping beans.
- Mexican.
91
00:05:59,607 --> 00:06:01,086
Ah.
92
00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:02,958
I did suggest has-been.
93
00:06:03,007 --> 00:06:04,884
No, that's awful.
94
00:06:04,927 --> 00:06:08,044
It was a joke
but the little twerp actually liked it.
95
00:06:09,287 --> 00:06:12,916
These revisions,
you'll need another girl, quickly.
96
00:06:12,967 --> 00:06:14,525
A competent one, yes.
97
00:06:14,567 --> 00:06:17,206
I said "parentheses" to the last one,
98
00:06:17,247 --> 00:06:19,636
she thought I was talking about
my mother and father.
99
00:06:21,127 --> 00:06:23,960
We are sorry, we are very sorry.
100
00:06:25,607 --> 00:06:28,360
Do you know what I like about you?
101
00:06:28,407 --> 00:06:29,556
What?
102
00:06:29,607 --> 00:06:33,486
The way you cross your legs
every time you apologise. It's so artless.
103
00:06:37,247 --> 00:06:38,646
Shall we have something stronger?
104
00:06:39,527 --> 00:06:42,280
What do you mean,
you're going out to dinner with him?
105
00:06:42,327 --> 00:06:46,684
Mum, I know you said your brain cells are dying
but it can't that difficult.
106
00:06:46,727 --> 00:06:49,002
I am going out to dinner with him.
107
00:06:49,047 --> 00:06:51,607
If he's putting in nasty little additions
on him forgiving us...
108
00:06:51,647 --> 00:06:53,877
- He's not.
- Then why are you going?
109
00:06:53,927 --> 00:06:55,645
Because he asked me.
110
00:06:55,687 --> 00:06:58,759
Because he's nice, he's droll,
111
00:06:58,807 --> 00:07:01,321
he's got sad eyes, funny sad.
112
00:07:01,367 --> 00:07:04,404
- Doesn't dress as a clown, does he?
- Oh, ha, ha.
113
00:07:04,447 --> 00:07:06,358
- Is he young?
- No.
114
00:07:06,407 --> 00:07:08,443
- Old?
- Mature.
115
00:07:08,487 --> 00:07:10,762
- Ha! Old.
- About your age.
116
00:07:10,807 --> 00:07:13,480
Oh, mature.
117
00:07:13,527 --> 00:07:16,041
- That's what I said.
- Well, it's your life.
118
00:07:16,087 --> 00:07:18,362
Meaning I'm screwing it up again.
119
00:07:18,407 --> 00:07:20,875
Meaning that with two divorces behind you,
120
00:07:20,927 --> 00:07:24,966
the last thing you want is an old...
mature man with sad eyes.
121
00:07:25,007 --> 00:07:29,842
I'm only going out to dinner with him.
Besides, I've got a soft spot for sad eyes.
122
00:07:29,887 --> 00:07:33,004
Ken had sad eyes, like a bloodhound.
123
00:07:33,047 --> 00:07:36,119
Shame he wasn't as intelligent
as a bloodhound.
124
00:07:36,167 --> 00:07:37,885
Edward was very clever.
125
00:07:37,927 --> 00:07:41,556
Yes, married to you and running two women
on the side. Very clever.
126
00:07:41,607 --> 00:07:44,997
- You didn't like either of them, did you?
- Neither did you.
127
00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:48,357
- That's a cheap shot.
- Sorry, it wasn't meant to be.
128
00:07:48,407 --> 00:07:51,558
Well, what do you want me to do,
"get me to a nunnery"?
129
00:07:51,607 --> 00:07:55,998
I want you to be happy,
I don't want you to end up...
130
00:07:56,047 --> 00:07:57,526
Oh, Mum.
131
00:07:57,567 --> 00:08:02,595
You will, if you go out to dinner with somebody
who looks like a geriatric Coco the Clown.
132
00:08:02,647 --> 00:08:04,956
- The car's here.
- Oh, good, Sandy.
133
00:08:05,007 --> 00:08:09,080
It's the driver who thinks Woody Allen
stole all his material, is that all right?
134
00:08:09,127 --> 00:08:12,403
Providing Woody Allen doesn't hitch a lift, yes.
135
00:08:13,487 --> 00:08:15,239
You're not working at home again?
136
00:08:15,287 --> 00:08:17,357
Keeps me off the streets.
137
00:08:17,407 --> 00:08:19,363
Well, what does Coco do, anyway?
138
00:08:19,407 --> 00:08:22,046
He's writing a book about his life in Kenya.
139
00:08:22,087 --> 00:08:24,317
Oh? What's it called?
140
00:08:24,367 --> 00:08:25,800
My Life In Kenya.
141
00:08:29,407 --> 00:08:31,204
I didn't say a word.
142
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:43,645
- Can you wait?
- Until the end of time, if you want me to.
143
00:08:43,687 --> 00:08:45,962
I shouldn't be that long.
144
00:08:54,327 --> 00:08:57,205
- On time.
- Oh!
145
00:08:57,247 --> 00:09:00,478
And we won't stop for lunch, we'll go straight...
146
00:09:00,527 --> 00:09:03,917
- You won't be long? I've got a taxi, you see.
- I shan't be a moment.
147
00:09:03,967 --> 00:09:05,559
Mum, Sandy, Lionel.
148
00:09:05,607 --> 00:09:06,926
- Oh, Hello.
- Hi.
149
00:09:06,967 --> 00:09:09,720
- Do sit down, two minutes.
- Right.
150
00:09:12,727 --> 00:09:14,877
Can I get you a drink?
151
00:09:14,927 --> 00:09:17,157
No, thanks, I've got a taxi waiting.
152
00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,797
- Shall we get on?
- Yes, of course.
153
00:09:43,487 --> 00:09:45,637
- Ready?
- Er, yes.
154
00:09:45,687 --> 00:09:47,564
- Won't be late.
- Right.
155
00:09:47,607 --> 00:09:50,075
- Bye-bye.
- Goodbye.
156
00:09:53,887 --> 00:09:57,118
- What with?
- What?
157
00:09:57,167 --> 00:10:00,921
- What are we getting on with?
- What we were doing, of course.
158
00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:02,764
- OK, fine.
- Right.
159
00:10:02,807 --> 00:10:08,120
Some of the girls are letting their imaginations
run wild when it comes to travelling expenses.
160
00:10:08,167 --> 00:10:11,842
I know that a taxi to Hampstead in the rush
hour goes very slowly
161
00:10:11,887 --> 00:10:15,323
but ยฃ24 suggest she went via Milton Keynes.
162
00:10:17,047 --> 00:10:18,480
Are you in a trance?
163
00:10:18,527 --> 00:10:21,041
We weren't working on travelling expenses.
164
00:10:21,807 --> 00:10:23,399
Oh?
165
00:10:23,847 --> 00:10:27,806
Oh. Do the girls in the office
really call me crab apple?
166
00:10:27,847 --> 00:10:30,600
No, they stopped that.
167
00:10:30,647 --> 00:10:33,764
- Oh, good.
- They call you iron draws now.
168
00:10:38,927 --> 00:10:41,043
How was the pรขtรฉ?
169
00:10:41,087 --> 00:10:42,679
Very nice.
170
00:10:42,727 --> 00:10:46,800
The soup was awful. I think they just passed
a tomato through a pan of water.
171
00:10:48,127 --> 00:10:50,846
Wasn't the height of invention
to eat here, was it?
172
00:10:50,887 --> 00:10:54,596
Oh no, it's fine. It's, um... airy.
173
00:10:54,647 --> 00:10:58,196
Judith, you're off duty now,
placating me is no longer obligatory.
174
00:10:58,247 --> 00:11:01,045
I know, it's what I do, placate.
175
00:11:01,087 --> 00:11:03,965
- Seems to be a habit.
- Better than spitting at pigeons.
176
00:11:04,007 --> 00:11:06,680
Did you enjoy that madam? Sir?
177
00:11:06,727 --> 00:11:11,596
Compared to pushing a pea up Vesuvius
with my nose, it was a delightful experience.
178
00:11:12,967 --> 00:11:14,764
Yes, sir.
179
00:11:16,047 --> 00:11:20,199
The other girl, um... Sandy,
is she your sister?
180
00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:23,045
No, the best secretary we've got.
181
00:11:23,087 --> 00:11:25,442
- The one you didn't send me.
- She's Mum's.
182
00:11:25,487 --> 00:11:26,806
Ah.
183
00:11:26,847 --> 00:11:28,803
What does your father do?
184
00:11:28,847 --> 00:11:30,963
Not a lot, he's dead.
185
00:11:31,007 --> 00:11:33,441
Nice man?
186
00:11:33,487 --> 00:11:35,159
Very.
187
00:11:35,207 --> 00:11:37,675
And, um... What about your mother?
188
00:11:37,727 --> 00:11:39,638
Well, of course, she's nice.
189
00:11:39,687 --> 00:11:41,518
Well... nice-ish.
190
00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:43,364
What part of the world is she from?
191
00:11:45,687 --> 00:11:48,884
Ah ha, ha. I'm not sparkling, am I?
192
00:11:50,247 --> 00:11:52,477
Well, call me quirky if you will,
193
00:11:52,527 --> 00:11:56,884
but I don't expect to be asked out to dinner
to talk about my mother all evening.
194
00:11:56,927 --> 00:11:59,043
- Sorry, I'm a bit out of practice.
- What at?
195
00:11:59,087 --> 00:12:03,524
Women. Once you're on your own in Kenya,
it's all other people's wives.
196
00:12:03,567 --> 00:12:05,762
I'm a bit long on the tooth for daughters.
197
00:12:05,807 --> 00:12:09,277
Well, I'm a daughter. Practise, make me laugh.
198
00:12:09,327 --> 00:12:11,318
Go on you, did this morning.
199
00:12:11,367 --> 00:12:13,278
Make you laugh? Um...
200
00:12:18,447 --> 00:12:20,358
That's not funny.
201
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:23,717
It's not intended it to be, I've got cramp. Ooh!
202
00:12:26,327 --> 00:12:30,445
My grandad could whistle and hum
at the same time.
203
00:12:31,487 --> 00:12:33,796
- Could he?
- Not terribly well.
204
00:12:34,767 --> 00:12:36,564
No.
205
00:12:38,047 --> 00:12:40,038
Look, it's your money.
206
00:12:41,607 --> 00:12:43,916
- What is?
- My overtime.
207
00:12:43,967 --> 00:12:46,481
I came here to work but if you just want to chat.
208
00:12:46,527 --> 00:12:48,916
Oh no, no, no, Sandy. Come on, we'll work.
209
00:12:48,967 --> 00:12:50,878
OK, right.
210
00:12:55,927 --> 00:12:59,442
Pack Up Your Troubles In Your Old Kit Bag,
he used to whistle.
211
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:04,322
He tried to hum It's A Long Way To Tipperary
at the same time but it never really worked.
212
00:13:05,727 --> 00:13:09,561
- Pack Up Your Troubles In Your Old Kit Bag?
- You've got it.
213
00:13:11,607 --> 00:13:13,404
I'm sorry, Sandy.
214
00:13:13,447 --> 00:13:16,519
Look, go home, I'm wasting your time.
215
00:13:21,647 --> 00:13:23,842
What are you doing?
216
00:13:23,887 --> 00:13:26,242
Wasting my time, probably.
217
00:13:27,287 --> 00:13:29,437
- You're laughing.
- I'm sorry.
218
00:13:29,487 --> 00:13:31,557
Painful way to amuse a woman.
219
00:13:31,607 --> 00:13:35,361
I know, take your sock and shoe off
and put you foot flat on the cold floor.
220
00:13:35,407 --> 00:13:37,204
- Where?
- Here.
221
00:13:37,247 --> 00:13:40,159
Here? I can't take my shoe and sock off
in a hotel.
222
00:13:40,207 --> 00:13:43,165
People take all sorts of things off in hotels.
223
00:13:43,207 --> 00:13:46,961
- Not in the restaurant.
- It's better that sitting there in agony.
224
00:13:47,007 --> 00:13:49,567
- You sure it will work?
- Positive.
225
00:13:49,607 --> 00:13:52,519
Well, they do say the British love eccentrics.
226
00:13:53,527 --> 00:13:55,404
That's you.
227
00:13:55,447 --> 00:13:58,883
Yes, Ramsgate, 1949.
228
00:13:58,927 --> 00:14:01,122
"Me on the beach minus R."
229
00:14:01,167 --> 00:14:03,078
- Who was "R"?
- Who knows?
230
00:14:03,967 --> 00:14:07,198
Richard, Robert, Rupert...
231
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:08,475
Rambo.
232
00:14:08,527 --> 00:14:11,883
- Rudolf.
- Rudolf, Reindeer or Valentino.
233
00:14:11,927 --> 00:14:13,758
Do you like the swimsuit?
234
00:14:13,807 --> 00:14:17,322
- Oh, it's awful.
- Awful, yes. They were woollen.
235
00:14:17,367 --> 00:14:21,201
They weighed a ton
when you came out of the water.
236
00:14:22,247 --> 00:14:26,957
- I didn't know you were a nurse.
- Oh, yes, I wanted to save the world then.
237
00:14:27,007 --> 00:14:30,283
"Me, outside the Middlesex, my first day."
238
00:14:30,327 --> 00:14:34,559
They grab you by the throat, don't they,
these captions?
239
00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:36,438
What is it you're looking for?
240
00:14:36,487 --> 00:14:38,045
Oh, a ghost.
241
00:14:41,567 --> 00:14:44,639
Ohh... He is a ghost.
242
00:14:44,687 --> 00:14:47,679
Good tip that for a cramp,
bare foot on a cold floor.
243
00:14:47,727 --> 00:14:52,403
- Where did you learn that?
- Mum, probably. She used to be a nurse.
244
00:14:52,447 --> 00:14:53,846
Did she?
245
00:14:53,887 --> 00:14:56,196
Did you enjoy the main course, madam?
246
00:14:56,247 --> 00:14:58,807
Yes, it was very nice.
247
00:14:59,927 --> 00:15:01,326
Bad idea.
248
00:15:01,367 --> 00:15:04,006
- Sir?
- Extraordinary.
249
00:15:08,447 --> 00:15:11,837
You can see the result,
it blew my sock and shoe off.
250
00:15:12,887 --> 00:15:16,004
Yes, sir. Would you like dessert?
251
00:15:16,047 --> 00:15:18,038
- Just coffee, I think.
- Yes, just coffee.
252
00:15:18,087 --> 00:15:23,605
If the dessert is as outstanding as the rest
of the meal, I could end up trouserless.
253
00:15:24,647 --> 00:15:26,603
When was your mother a nurse?
254
00:15:26,647 --> 00:15:29,684
You're not going to start asking me
about her again, are you?
255
00:15:29,727 --> 00:15:32,082
No, no, no, let's have a brandy.
256
00:15:32,127 --> 00:15:33,606
Yes, I'd like that.
257
00:15:33,647 --> 00:15:36,115
Yes, best part of staying in a hotel, really.
258
00:15:36,167 --> 00:15:39,716
No driving, nowhere else to go,
you can enjoy a drink or two.
259
00:15:39,767 --> 00:15:45,000
And all you have to do is walk a few yards,
get the lift, another few yards, and fall into bed.
260
00:15:46,687 --> 00:15:49,485
My bed isn't in this hotel.
261
00:15:50,247 --> 00:15:52,556
I could have put that more subtly, couldn't I?
262
00:15:52,607 --> 00:15:54,723
You could've waited till I'd had a brandy.
263
00:15:54,767 --> 00:15:55,882
Waiter!
264
00:15:55,927 --> 00:15:57,519
Coffee for two.
265
00:15:57,567 --> 00:16:00,081
Thank you, and two brandies please, large ones.
266
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:01,924
Yes, sir.
267
00:16:09,607 --> 00:16:11,563
All right, I give in.
268
00:16:12,167 --> 00:16:13,361
Pardon?
269
00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:15,557
Why do you keep asking about Mum?
270
00:16:15,607 --> 00:16:18,883
- You're changing the subject.
- No, she's been the subject all evening.
271
00:16:18,927 --> 00:16:21,919
Apart from cramp and one half-hearted
attempt at seduction,
272
00:16:21,967 --> 00:16:25,198
she's been the subject all evening,
spoken or unspoken.
273
00:16:25,247 --> 00:16:26,566
It wasn't half-hearted.
274
00:16:26,607 --> 00:16:29,121
Then I'm flattered.
275
00:16:29,167 --> 00:16:31,965
But why do you keep asking about my mother?
276
00:16:32,007 --> 00:16:34,202
- I think I knew her.
- When?
277
00:16:35,607 --> 00:16:38,838
Long before I ever started getting cramp.
278
00:16:46,927 --> 00:16:51,318
Well, at least come and say hello,
if only for old times' sake.
279
00:16:51,367 --> 00:16:55,679
There are good ideas and there are bad ideas.
And then there are really awful ideas.
280
00:16:55,727 --> 00:16:57,638
Why?
281
00:16:57,687 --> 00:17:00,485
If your mother remembers me at all, ask her.
282
00:17:00,527 --> 00:17:02,882
Good night. Sorry about the cramp.
283
00:17:27,687 --> 00:17:29,006
Oh!
284
00:17:29,047 --> 00:17:32,323
- What are you dressed up for?
- I'm not dressed up.
285
00:17:32,367 --> 00:17:33,766
It's nearly bed time.
286
00:17:33,807 --> 00:17:37,516
That's no reason to sit around
like an old ragbag, is it?
287
00:17:37,567 --> 00:17:40,957
Well, how was the evening? How was Coco?
288
00:17:41,007 --> 00:17:43,282
He said he knew you.
289
00:17:43,327 --> 00:17:46,683
- Oh! Did he say anything else?
- No.
290
00:17:46,727 --> 00:17:48,843
That's the trouble, he wouldn't come in.
291
00:17:48,887 --> 00:17:51,799
He said, "if you remembered him
you would know why."
292
00:17:51,847 --> 00:17:53,917
Do you remember him?
293
00:17:54,967 --> 00:17:57,640
You do, that's why you got dressed up.
294
00:17:57,687 --> 00:17:59,484
I've not got dressed up.
295
00:17:59,527 --> 00:18:01,518
Oh, so you don't remember him then.
296
00:18:03,327 --> 00:18:05,124
Ohh...
297
00:18:11,767 --> 00:18:13,564
It's you.
298
00:18:13,607 --> 00:18:16,644
It's him! When was this taken?
299
00:18:16,687 --> 00:18:21,203
Well as you can see, we are standing
in front of a cave, dressed in skins.
300
00:18:21,247 --> 00:18:23,477
You're smiling at each other.
301
00:18:23,527 --> 00:18:25,882
Yes, we'd just discovered how to make fire.
302
00:18:25,927 --> 00:18:29,317
All right, it was along time ago.
What happened?
303
00:18:29,367 --> 00:18:32,245
I think we had the photograph taken,
then went and had tea.
304
00:18:32,287 --> 00:18:35,199
Come on, you know what I mean.
Was it a romance?
305
00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:37,442
Judy, I was 19.
306
00:18:37,487 --> 00:18:41,844
Kissing in the back row of the pictures
was a romance then.
307
00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:43,286
I'm his daughter.
308
00:18:44,287 --> 00:18:46,960
Maths never was your strong point.
309
00:18:48,567 --> 00:18:50,125
No.
310
00:18:50,167 --> 00:18:52,635
So, why wouldn't he come in and say hello?
311
00:18:52,687 --> 00:18:55,963
Well, I expect he didn't fancy
a wrinklies reunion.
312
00:18:56,007 --> 00:18:57,963
He said to ask you.
313
00:18:58,007 --> 00:19:01,716
Well you've asked me
and I don't know and it's not important.
314
00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:04,122
Now, I'm going to bed.
315
00:19:04,167 --> 00:19:09,924
You're so used to talking about business you've
forgotten how to talk about anything else,
316
00:19:09,967 --> 00:19:11,958
even to me.
317
00:19:14,127 --> 00:19:20,077
Well... the first thing to say is
that I loved your father.
318
00:19:20,127 --> 00:19:22,322
Go on.
319
00:19:22,367 --> 00:19:27,202
But with Lionel, well... it's difficult to explain.
320
00:19:27,247 --> 00:19:28,680
It was...
321
00:19:31,367 --> 00:19:36,487
I was nursing at the Middlesex Hospital
and Lionel was doing his national service.
322
00:19:36,527 --> 00:19:39,837
He'd been commissioned to the
Middlesex regiment, strangely enough.
323
00:19:39,887 --> 00:19:42,196
We met at some dance or other, and...
324
00:19:42,247 --> 00:19:45,842
It's not sounding too Barbara Cartland, is it?
325
00:19:45,887 --> 00:19:47,479
And it just happened.
326
00:19:50,167 --> 00:19:53,876
Everything we said, everything we laughed at.
327
00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:58,715
We went out together for about three months
and then he was posted to Korea.
328
00:19:58,767 --> 00:20:00,485
And then he was killed.
329
00:20:01,687 --> 00:20:04,247
You just had dinner with him this evening.
330
00:20:05,727 --> 00:20:11,165
Oh. So, there you are in love,
and Lionel was posted to Korea?
331
00:20:11,207 --> 00:20:12,322
Then?
332
00:20:13,127 --> 00:20:18,326
There was no then, he never wrote,
and I never saw him again.
333
00:20:25,727 --> 00:20:26,921
Ah.
334
00:20:26,967 --> 00:20:29,686
You rat!
335
00:20:29,727 --> 00:20:32,685
- Are you a schizophrenic?
- No, I'm bloody mad.
336
00:20:32,727 --> 00:20:36,481
- I didn't like to use the word.
- Don't play games with me, I'm furious.
337
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:39,041
Mum does remember you,
she told me all about it.
338
00:20:39,087 --> 00:20:42,238
- I see.
- That's all you've got to say?
339
00:20:42,287 --> 00:20:44,642
There's not a lot else to say, is there?
340
00:20:44,687 --> 00:20:47,599
- Aren't you even sorry?
- I was.
341
00:20:47,647 --> 00:20:50,036
I was very sorry, as a matter of fact.
342
00:20:50,087 --> 00:20:54,080
Why didn't you have the decency, last night,
to at least pop in and apologise?
343
00:20:54,127 --> 00:20:56,243
Why should I apologise?
344
00:20:56,287 --> 00:21:01,361
You two have a relationship that
makes Romeo and Juliet look positively pallid.
345
00:21:01,407 --> 00:21:04,558
You go off to Korea and dropped her,
you didn't even write.
346
00:21:04,607 --> 00:21:08,236
Of course, I wrote.
It's your sainted mother who never wrote back.
347
00:21:11,447 --> 00:21:13,403
If you're right...
348
00:21:15,687 --> 00:21:17,837
...or if you're lying...
349
00:21:22,847 --> 00:21:25,042
Would you like a top up, sir?
350
00:21:26,047 --> 00:21:28,038
- What?
- A top up?
351
00:21:34,207 --> 00:21:36,516
Ah, I want to see Mrs, um...
352
00:21:37,927 --> 00:21:39,326
Jean, I want to see Jean.
353
00:21:39,367 --> 00:21:41,358
I'm sorry, she's out.
354
00:21:41,407 --> 00:21:43,796
- When will she be back?
- She didn't say.
355
00:21:43,847 --> 00:21:46,077
- Well, where has she gone?
- She didn't say.
356
00:21:46,847 --> 00:21:50,044
You're a mine of information, aren't you?
357
00:22:26,927 --> 00:22:29,316
- They said you were out.
- They said you were out.
358
00:22:29,367 --> 00:22:31,278
- I was here.
- I was at your office.
359
00:22:31,327 --> 00:22:33,557
- We must have crossed.
- Yes.
360
00:22:33,607 --> 00:22:36,724
- Sparkling conversation, isn't it?
- Heady.
361
00:22:36,767 --> 00:22:39,076
Shall we sit down?
362
00:22:41,967 --> 00:22:44,242
Well, how are you?
363
00:22:44,287 --> 00:22:46,801
I'm fine. How are you?
364
00:22:47,847 --> 00:22:50,759
- Pretty well, considering.
- Considering what?
365
00:22:50,807 --> 00:22:53,002
I don't know really.
366
00:22:53,047 --> 00:22:55,277
Good morning, sir, again.
367
00:22:55,327 --> 00:22:58,683
- Would you like something?
- Yes, I think we need a drink.
368
00:22:58,727 --> 00:23:00,126
Yes, I think so too.
369
00:23:00,167 --> 00:23:04,206
A Scotch and soda, please,
and half a pint of cider.
370
00:23:06,527 --> 00:23:08,483
405.
371
00:23:09,287 --> 00:23:11,482
- I don't like Scotch.
- That's for me.
372
00:23:11,527 --> 00:23:13,358
Oh.
373
00:23:13,407 --> 00:23:15,318
I don't like cider either.
374
00:23:15,367 --> 00:23:17,278
- Yes, you do.
- No, I don't.
375
00:23:17,327 --> 00:23:21,081
Well, you used to.
You always used to drink cider.
376
00:23:22,047 --> 00:23:24,880
Yes, so I did. You used to drink beer.
377
00:23:24,927 --> 00:23:28,556
Oh, can't manage it these days.
378
00:23:28,607 --> 00:23:30,199
Too many trips.
379
00:23:30,247 --> 00:23:31,680
Ahh.
380
00:23:31,727 --> 00:23:34,446
- God, this is awful, isn't it?
- Oh, awful.
381
00:23:34,487 --> 00:23:37,957
One Scotch and soda, one cider.
382
00:23:38,007 --> 00:23:40,362
- We want to change the cider.
- No, I'll keep it.
383
00:23:40,407 --> 00:23:45,117
One Scotch and soda, one cider.
Thank you, madam.
384
00:23:46,847 --> 00:23:49,202
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
385
00:23:51,287 --> 00:23:53,562
Oh, things change.
386
00:23:53,607 --> 00:23:56,075
Yes. Your hair's different.
387
00:23:56,127 --> 00:23:57,606
Yes.
388
00:23:57,647 --> 00:24:00,207
I've got a bit of grey myself.
389
00:24:02,967 --> 00:24:06,004
- Well, at least I haven't a bald spot.
- Well, good for you.
390
00:24:06,047 --> 00:24:09,119
- I have got a troublesome back.
- I get cramp.
391
00:24:09,167 --> 00:24:11,761
Oh, my God, it is a wrinklies reunion.
392
00:24:11,807 --> 00:24:13,604
What are we doing here?
393
00:24:13,647 --> 00:24:18,437
Well, I'm not here to compare wrinkles.
I just want to set the record straight, that's all.
394
00:24:18,487 --> 00:24:20,955
Yes, so do I.
395
00:24:21,007 --> 00:24:22,998
So, why didn't you write?
396
00:24:23,047 --> 00:24:26,437
Oh, now. Let's not play games.
Why didn't you write?
397
00:24:26,487 --> 00:24:30,878
Where to? Second lieutenant Hardcastle,
somewhere in Korea?
398
00:24:30,927 --> 00:24:34,044
- I sent you the address as soon as I had one.
- I didn't get a letter.
399
00:24:34,087 --> 00:24:35,645
Well, I sent it.
400
00:24:38,687 --> 00:24:40,803
Oh, no.
401
00:24:40,847 --> 00:24:45,159
As ridiculously simple as that?
A lost letter?
402
00:24:45,207 --> 00:24:48,483
Oh, dear. I suppose we're in some rack
somewhere.
403
00:24:48,527 --> 00:24:51,041
Could be in the Imperial War Museum.
404
00:24:51,087 --> 00:24:54,602
"Letter from subaltern to sweetheart, circa 1953."
405
00:24:54,647 --> 00:24:57,684
Or still in Korea, disintegrated in the soil.
406
00:24:58,727 --> 00:25:00,718
I'd like to think it fed a tree.
407
00:25:00,767 --> 00:25:03,076
People put newspapers
on their compost heaps.
408
00:25:03,127 --> 00:25:07,405
- Yes, they do.
- So, we finished as Korean compost.
409
00:25:07,447 --> 00:25:10,439
I like the Imperial War Museum better.
410
00:25:10,487 --> 00:25:13,285
Yes, I think I do.
411
00:25:13,327 --> 00:25:17,036
You didn't bother to write
a second bloody letter, did you?
412
00:25:19,127 --> 00:25:20,526
Well, I thought...
413
00:25:20,567 --> 00:25:24,037
Absence doesn't make only make
the heart grow fonder,
414
00:25:24,087 --> 00:25:25,884
it makes the heart suspicious.
415
00:25:25,927 --> 00:25:29,806
Suspicious that somehow
it had all been too good to be true.
416
00:25:29,847 --> 00:25:31,360
I waited and waited.
417
00:25:31,407 --> 00:25:34,365
Making strenuous efforts to find me
in the meantime, presumably?
418
00:25:34,407 --> 00:25:36,159
What, row over to Korea?
419
00:25:36,207 --> 00:25:40,997
There was a regimental depot. The ministry of
defence, Cliff Michelmore and Jean Metcalfe.
420
00:25:41,047 --> 00:25:43,845
- They didn't do Korea.
- Oh, all right.
421
00:25:43,887 --> 00:25:48,199
But the fact is that you wrongfully assumed
that I hadn't written and did nothing.
422
00:25:48,727 --> 00:25:51,844
- Judy?
- There is no way to dress up my presence.
423
00:25:51,887 --> 00:25:56,085
I'm incredibly curious, and I want to know
what you've been talking about.
424
00:25:56,127 --> 00:25:58,197
- Youth.
- Youth and pride.
425
00:25:58,247 --> 00:26:00,442
Youth and pride and stupidity.
426
00:26:00,487 --> 00:26:02,478
Who was stupid?
427
00:26:03,607 --> 00:26:05,598
We both were.
428
00:26:05,647 --> 00:26:07,444
But it's all right now?
429
00:26:07,487 --> 00:26:09,478
Everything's all right now?
430
00:26:10,527 --> 00:26:12,518
I think it's wonderful.
431
00:26:15,127 --> 00:26:17,118
Why should she think it's wonderful?
432
00:26:17,167 --> 00:26:19,556
Judy is a dying breed, she's a romantic.
433
00:26:19,607 --> 00:26:21,165
What? Us?
434
00:26:21,207 --> 00:26:24,597
Well, I don't think she was referring to
Edward and Mrs Simpson.
435
00:26:25,287 --> 00:26:27,278
She doesn't mean now, does she?
436
00:26:27,327 --> 00:26:29,204
She's a romantic.
437
00:26:29,247 --> 00:26:32,319
Well, that's absurd. I mean, look at us.
438
00:26:34,847 --> 00:26:37,315
I'd sooner not be included in that remark.
439
00:26:37,367 --> 00:26:40,245
- Well, you have aged.
- I know I have aged.
440
00:26:40,287 --> 00:26:42,437
Who do you think you are? Peter Pan?
441
00:26:42,487 --> 00:26:45,320
Of course not, I'd look silly in tights.
442
00:26:45,367 --> 00:26:48,518
- Yes, you had knobbly knees.
- I still have.
443
00:26:52,887 --> 00:26:55,242
- Well...
- Well.
444
00:26:56,207 --> 00:26:58,721
I have a business to run.
445
00:26:58,767 --> 00:27:00,962
I've got revisions on the book.
446
00:27:01,007 --> 00:27:02,804
- Do you still want someone.
- Pardon?
447
00:27:02,847 --> 00:27:05,884
- A secretary?
- Oh, yes.
448
00:27:05,927 --> 00:27:07,838
- I'll be here for a few days.
- Well, I'll fix it.
449
00:27:07,887 --> 00:27:09,878
Thank you.
450
00:27:10,967 --> 00:27:12,878
Let's have dinner or something.
451
00:27:12,927 --> 00:27:14,997
Or lunch.
452
00:27:15,047 --> 00:27:18,437
- I'll phone you at the office.
- Or I'll phone you here.
453
00:27:20,647 --> 00:27:23,605
- Goodbye, then.
- Goodbye.
454
00:27:32,767 --> 00:27:35,201
Excuse me, sir, will you be dining
here this evening?
455
00:27:35,247 --> 00:27:37,841
Only we're expecting a large party of Finns.
456
00:27:40,207 --> 00:27:42,402
No, I'll be checking out this afternoon.
457
00:27:42,447 --> 00:27:44,403
- Yes, sir.
- Oh, and, um...
458
00:27:44,447 --> 00:27:46,517
take the cider away, would you?
459
00:27:58,007 --> 00:28:00,760
# You must remember this
460
00:28:00,807 --> 00:28:03,367
# A kiss is still a kiss
461
00:28:03,407 --> 00:28:06,444
# A sigh is just a sigh
462
00:28:08,767 --> 00:28:12,362
# The fundamental things apply
463
00:28:12,407 --> 00:28:16,559
# As time goes by
464
00:28:19,487 --> 00:28:22,320
# And when two lovers woo
465
00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:25,120
# They still say I love you
466
00:28:25,167 --> 00:28:28,125
# On that you can rely
467
00:28:30,687 --> 00:28:35,158
# The world will always welcome lovers
468
00:28:36,367 --> 00:28:44,320
# As time goes by #
469
00:28:45,320 --> 00:28:55,320
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