Original subtitles

I'm very happy to be on film,

And a motherfucking live audience.

I'm really nervous, 'cause I isn�t had no cocaine all day.

Love cocaine.

I don't know what I�m going to talk about, but I have a list.

No, it's exciting.

I'm very excited and stuff, I�m glad y'all didn't move,

A lot of y'all.

But I imagine a lot of y'all will be leaving during my shit,

But that's cool, too.

'Cause that shit will be in the film.

And, I�d like to... I hope I�m funny and shit,

You know, 'cause, you know, just to be a nigger

Standing up here and just be saying' nothing...

isn�t shit.

But, I hope my shit is funny.

And I like to.

I always wanted to do that, man.

No, white dudes used to do that in gym class after they

Take a shower.

They come out of the shower and be going,

"Hi, dick. Can you do that?"

"No, but I will tomorrow, motherfucker. "

You got to process and shit, you know.

Be Puerto Rican.

You can be Puerto Rican with a process in the Midwest.

Puerto Ricans was famous.

Not like in new York.

No, 'cause they got a lot of Puerto Ricans in new York,

But in the Midwest they don't have many Puerto Ricans.

They have, like three, in the whole Midwest.

I was one of them.

I was jiving'.

But I had my shit together, man.

Got some pussy too.

Only thing that gave me up when I was coming,

"Oh, shit!"

"That's not Puerto Rican. "

I always wanted to be something.

I never wanted to be white.

Hope not out of line.

No, I always wanted to be something different, you know,

Than a nigger, 'cause niggers have it so rough.

I tried to be, you know, a black cat with neat hair.

I thought that was the problem, the hair.

I said, if my hair was straight, then Whitey would dig me.

So I got a process.

Wrong.

I lived in a neighborhood with a lot of whorehouses.

Ah, not many candy stores or banks.

Liquors stores and whorehouses.

You know, niggers love to drink.

They say.

No I went through, like, white neighborhoods,

You have banks and shit.

You have to go four miles to get some liquor.

Niggers can get liquor, just walk outta the house,

"Oh, this a liquor store. Eh, ok."

And I remember tricks used to come through our neighborhood,

That's where I first met white people.

They come down through our neighborhood

To help the economy.

Nice white dudes, though.

'Cause I could have been a bigot.

You know what I mean?

I could have been prejudice.

I, I could have been prejudice.

I could've been, man, but I met nice white men,

"Hello, little boy. Is your mother home?

I'd like a blowjob. "

I wonder what would happen if niggers go through

White neighborhoods and doing' that.

"Hey, man, is your mama home?

Tell the bitch we want to fuck. "

"Ah, I�ll see.

She says you have to come back after lunch. "

I got get my belt.

I got to be cool when you be on film.

Nigga got to have belt in loop.

Above suspicion.

Is my make-Up looking ok?

I think it's very exciting.

I don't know about you all but I like being on film.

I always wanted to be in the movies myself.

Like Johnny Mack brown.

Y'all don't remember Johnny Mack brown?

You ever saw Lasch Larue?

Dude was cool for a faggot.

Fuzzy cool jones was his main man.

It was exciting.

I saw them at a state fair in Springfield, Illinois,

That's why they... why you looking' at my dick, man?

Oh, you're not... ah you're certainly not looking that long.

I mean it�s not true what they say about colored guys.

People believe that.

"You colored guys really have big ones, don't you?"

"Yea, want to see, it's... "

I'd expose myself but too many white ladies in the audience.

They'd be going',

"I thought colored guys were built better than that. "

I always wanted to get some 'cause I like watching'

The tricks getting' pussy, right.

I use to peek through, like, the keyhole.

You can't peek through a keyhole, right,

'Cause your head keep hitting' the door.

You have to look over the transom and shit, right.

And the tricks would be fucking, right.

They be "oh, oh, gosh, golly ma'am, it's really good,

It's really good. "

And the whores be going, "ah-H, shit baby.

Ah-H, god damn that.

Ah-H, shit.

Yea, honey, isn�t no white man ever fuck me like you, baby.

Ah, goddamn. "

It was weird.

I remember white dudes used to come down,

"Do you have any girls here that cover you with ice cream?"

"And little boys that lick it off?"

He was the mayor.

I lived in what you call, the ghetto,

As Elvis Presley "in the ghetto.

I may look white but wait till tonight, I�m a nigger. "

But I grew up, ah, I learned about white folks.

'Cause I use to eat with a white friend of mine,

Dickey lemon, had a white friend.

White folks eat quiet.

I learned that.

No, they do.

"Pass the potatoes, darling. "

"Thank you, dear. "

"My, that smells scrumptious. "

"Here you go, young fellow.

And how are you doing in those grades, dickey?

Well, you must keep your marks up, you know. By gummy. "

"Are we having sexual intercourse this evening,

Darling?

I was hoping I could insert my penis into your vagina.

Well I can't?

What the heck. "

Niggers made noise when they ate.

My daddy, man, he pitched a bitch,

"Say bitch, where the food?

Well goddamn, I�m-A come on.

Shit.

What, you wash your hands, boy?

Yea, the nigger's hands wash, mamma.

Shit.

We're ready to eat.

Damn.

I'll get.

All you motherfucker.

Goddamn. Goddamn.

Shit, you pass shit nigger go for yourself.

Motherfucker.

Motherfucking shit. "

My daddy sucking' a bowl and shit,

"Oh, goddamn,

Nigger you better get that meat outta there, motherfucker.

Look-It, look-It, there's some meat in there, nigger.

Shit.

Look down in there, boy.

Look-It there.

Mother. Shit. You can throw shit away, nigger,

Shit, better eat with your white friends. "

It was exciting. Ha-Ha-Ha.

It was, though.

It was exciting.

I'm glad I�m black, 'cause, I�d hate to be white,

'Cause y'all got to go to the moon.

Isn�t no niggers going to the moon, you know that.

First of all, isn�t no niggers qualified, so y'all tell us.

So we isn�t go to be worried about that.

Niggers was hip, they'd help y'all get to the moon.

"Hey, man, let's organize and help them white motherfuckers

Get to the moon so they'll leave us alone... "

But I don't hate white folks.

No-Sire-Bob.

One of my great-Great grandparents was white.

I'm sure of it.

'Cause I know I didn't look like this when I came from Africa.

You know what I mean?

I'm afraid you do.

But I like white women.

That's my only... I have a white women disease.

I could be a revolutionary.

But I like white women with big boobs.

You know, 'cause they have boobs that have skin

When you rip their clothes off,

"Bitch!" Rip.

You know, and their boobs pop out.

And they come so loud.

That's great.

"A colored man, what have I done?"

And you can do your black shit,

"This is for the Congo. "

Then, ah. Fucking was always the thing, you remember that?

You could never get no pussy in the 50's,

'Cause all the girls had the disease call "the virgin. "

"I'm a virgin!" Da-Da-Da-Da-Da-Da-Da!

It was hard to get some pussy, man.

You had to be scheming, 'specially.

Like you could easily get some pussy,

Like some dudes could get pussy, right, "bitch. "

"Ooh-Ooh-Ooh. "

I try that, get an ass whipping'.

"I isn�t no bitch, motherfucker. "

But you try to get pussy, you know, like you even

Fall in love with a bitch to get some pussy.

"I love you darling, yes I do.

Why, you remind me of the sunset.

You remind me of the ocean waves that fall across the seashells

On the shore.

I want to touch your body, just like that, dear. "

And then they give you a little pussy,

But a little.

But you can't come in them.

Right, they always say that.

"Don't come in me. "

"Oh, no-Sire-Bob I never come.

It's not my thing.

It's not how I get my kicks.

Coming's not my trip.

Almost coming, that's how I fill...

or bitches always be saying shit like, you know,

"Don't come yet. "

That's the lowdown when they do that.

"Don't come yet. "

"No, no! I'm not coming yet.

No, I�ll hold on!

Oh, god, yea! O- O-O-H-H. "

It's great coming.

I know, like, some folks don't come,

White folks don't come.

That's why they fuck quiet.

As I was saying two hours ago.

Man, they do, they be "mmm, mm, mmm I�m coming. "

Niggers make noise when they fuck.

"Ah, shit, baby.

I goddamn... don't move it now...

Ah, shit,... you motherfucker, you. "

And then you come and fart.

Blame it on your old lady.

"That you, baby?"

"Did you fart, mother?"

"Aw, shit, you farted, bitch.

You know you farted, motherfucker.

Girl, you better get operation.

Bet you done tore something' loose. Shit. "

"You know I don't fart, I put. "

'Cause the girls, they always pot,

They never fart, right, they go, pot "excuse me. "

They always ease them out, the stinking' motherfuckers,

They ease out.

Like you be in the car, something, you can't say nothing,

You be...

"oh, no nothing dear, it's, just god,

Ah, get me to the hospital, please, I�m... "

My grandmother could fart,

But she'd fart early in the morning,

Right about five o'clock,

And sit on the toilet and never, ever shit,

But made a loud noise.

You know what I mean?

You know, like sit on a toilet and never shit,

Just make a, you know, like a boat coming in.

"Eh, must be four o'clock. "

Getting filmed is a drag, you know.

No, because, I�m nervous.

I don't want to be nervous 'cause I�m... isn�t lying'.

People shit.

People will not admit they shit.

"No sir, I never had a bowel movement ever in my life. "

Right, yes, people like Nixon,

"I've never had a bowel movement.

And I think it's communistic to assume that American�s

Move their bowels. "

You know Nixon don't come, right, you know, if he does,

He apologizes.

Let me make this perfectly clear...

and his old lady, man, he can't come in her

'Cause she isn�t got no pussy left.

That many facelifts she had.

Pussy all up in her ear.

And Trisha Nixon can't give her pussy away.

Even the secret service man,

"Ah, no, I got to watch the car. "

"No, no, I understand. "

"Ever heard of Massengill. "

Massengill's a douche powder.

Maybe white girls don't douche, but I remember that was

A big thing in whorehouses, you know.

"Bitch, you better get some douche powder. "

You know, that was the thing.

All the whore's sound like flip Wilson,

"Better get some douche powder. "

That was my, I was the errand boy

For all the whores in the neighborhood.

You know, I used to run and get Ktex and all that shit,

Before Tampax came along.

I remember the white, burlesque girls

Always use Tampax and the niggers used Ktex.

'Cause we bleed a lot because we're so real.

I said "we" like I�m one of the bitches.

Can we edit this?

No, never fuck a faggot.

No, I like to say this on film because,

To all the American male persons,

Never fuck a faggot 'cause they will lie.

They always say, "I won't tell. "

They lie.

They can't wait till you finish fucking them.

"Well guess who was here, honey?

Girl, look it, here.

Well the nigger got more bitch in 'them than me. "

Don't ever give a faggot head.

'Cause you really be lowdown, then, right.

You all act like you isn�t never sucking' a dick or something'.

Y'all be like, "no-Sire-Bob, we've never, ever

Touched a penis in our lives.

We're real men. "

I sucked a dick.

You can get a habit from sucking' dick.

You can be a dick junkie.

You can only do it maybe three times.

You do it more than that, you get a habit, you be,

"I got to have a dick.

Now, please, unless I have a cock in my mouth. "

I used to give head to dudes who'd always say,

"Don't come into my mouth. "

"Our father, who art in heaven. "

No, but, no buts about it, fuck it.

But it's exciting, man, being black,

Because being white isn�t very exciting,

'Cause the best you can do when you white is go to heaven.

You know what I mean?

But niggers, niggers can't go no place.

That's what's so exciting about being a nigger.

You know what I mean, might fuck around and luck up on heaven.

Negroes can't go to heaven.

They can get a promise to heaven.

I was a negro for 23 years.

I gave that shit up.

No room for advancement.

I was, too, man, and I had my shit down pat.

I had a lot of fun being a negro.

Got to fuck a lot white girls.

That was the most important part, fucking white girls.

Huh?

It's my nose.

You never ate a booger?

No, some people don't eat boogers, man.

Boogers are hip.

I like my boogers.

I do.

I like boogers, I like boogers and I like the way I fart.

I have great smelling farts.

People can't dig it, but, I like the way I shit.

I shit cool, don't smell bad or nothing'.

I don't care what anyone says.

I'm religious.

That's right,

I used to go to white protestant church.

Used to scare the shit out of me, right.

'Cause they had that strange music.

You expect Dracula to jump out on you any second, right.

If he did I�d a held the cross up.

'Cause he's allergic to bullshit

Dracula didn't have no niggers in his day.

He just had pretty bitches,

And it was hard for a bitch to turn Dracula down

'Cause he promises something'

That any bitch in the world could not refuse.

"How would you like to be beautiful forever. Blab. "

"Fuck me, bite me, motherfucker, anywhere, I don't care. "

For a bitch to be pretty forever.

"You never will change"

"Oh, yea, where you going to bite me. Here?"

But no niggers, 'cause niggers would kill Dracula.

And as soon as them motherfuckers going' to sleep,

I'm going take this motherfucking toothpick

And stab the nigger in the chest.

Don't be fucking with me.

That's why you never saw a movie where Dracula be walking'

Down the street with a nigger, right?

Like say him and a brother be walking',

Ah, hey bro, what's happening'?"

"You got it. Blab . "

"Yea, a, you know, what's your story morning' glory?"

"There's nothing to it. Blab blab-La. "

"Look man, where you going'?

Which way, you know what I mean?

'Cause I don't need to be walking' which you, man.

You know what I�m saying', I isn�t for that shit.

You know what I mean, I isn�t for no 'blah-La-La-La',

You know what I mean.

I isn�t in 'ta that.

I isn�t nothing, isn�t no faggot in me. "

"But I�m not a faggot.

I want to suck your blood. Blah. "

"Yea, you want to suck my 'blah-A-A-A'.

I know what you want to suck motherfucker,

But I don't play that. You dig?

Now get your hand off me you motherfucker!

You don't be touching' me!

You understand?

'Cause I kick your ass, baby. "

"If you hit me, I will fly away. Blah. "

"Well, motherfucker, you going to to have to go somewhere.

Now get, get up off me!

Sissy mother.

You see that dude, that motherfucker

I was talking to... bit me where?

Say, man, the fuck you doing' biting me on the neck?"

Dracula had the heavy shit.

He'd bite you.

He'd bite little bitches, too, little girls, too.

"Anything you say Dracula. "

I think my naval wants to say something.

Now let�s pretend like the lights are out

And there isn�t no cameras and none of that shit, you dig?

Then I can get down.

I have to tell that to myself, then, 'cause you all

Don't give a fuck one way or the other,

"So what if there's no camera.

You're just not funny, dickey. "

Thank you, mom.

You fool around?

Ah, so, uh... any requests?

If this mirror, well I looking in this mirror.

I wish I was nude.

Hey, does your dick really look bigger on camera?

I always wanted to smoke shit, 'cause Clifford smoked shit,

Made cool sounds, a friend of mine,

"This some jamming' shit.

Where'd you get this shit at, man?

This is outta site.

You want some rich?

Here you go.

Yea, it sound cool, bro, but you got to light it first. "

I was always fucking up, man.

I never got my shit together.

But I tried.

I did, man.

I always wanted to be cool 'cause you could get pussy

If you was cool.

Right, 'cause the girls give you pussy.

Nobody like pussy nowadays, huh?

But in the old days,

When you liked pussy, but you couldn't get it...

does anyone remember liking pussy?

That was the thing, that was like status, man,

If you could get some pussy.

And dudes always be like,

"Man I had two bitches the other night,

The bitches was freaking off.

The other bitch licked the other bitch's shoe heel.

That's right, you know, you dig?

Ha-Ha-A-A!

I told her, I said, look here, I�m going to put a chair

In the bitch's cli-Tor-Is.

I want you to suck the, little bitch. "

Had some beautiful stories, man.

I always had fun being black.

I guess y'all never know.

But that's the price you pay for being white.

'Cause it's hard being white, it isn�t easy.

You have to be a certain kind a dude.

Can you imagine, like, white dude,

Like a dude like you, you go to your job tomorrow,

If you walked into your job and go

"How'd feel Fred?" "Fuck you!"

"I beg your pardon, Fred? Why don't you just take

The day off.

You must be overexerting yourself. "

You know, they think you're crazy.

Niggers is in trouble.

"Well, that's the way they talk all the time.

Just discharge him. "

Niggers got to talk that way when you all don't understand

"Please get off my back. " Y'all don't understand that,

"What does he mean by 'on my back?"'

Got to articulate it.

"Your standing on the man's Sleeno Splataurus

Along with the elevation of the dual process

Within the limitations of the foot as it processes. "

Niggas isn�t going to wait that long for y'all to get up.

'Cause they got black motherfuckers, now.

They be black.

Black.

I remember when black wasn't beautiful.

Black man come to our neighborhood,

"Black is beautiful, Africa�s your home,

Beware the black man, be proud to be black. "

And my parents go, "that nigger crazy. "

"Better get your ass away from here with that shit.

Don't start no trouble 'round here. "

"When you want me to move ask me to move.

I'm all well.

That's right, all well jones B.T. Johnson.

You, understand?

You don't be no nigger,

You isn�t going to hit me with nothing', Mr. Officer.

I don't take no ass whooping',

And don't know nothing' about unconscious.

You got to kill me.

You remember last summer when the 15 police come

Got that crazy nigger, eight or nine of 'them

Got fucked up?

That's me!

You hit me, I�m going to bite your dick.

I'm going to die with some nuts in my hand, man.

Now, what you going to do?"

Alright, well, we'll be back.

Hanging' out was the groovy, right?

If you could hang out, you know.

I always like to hang out with wino's and shit

'Cause wino's always new Jesus.

Like I said, I was religious?

'Cause in the Midwest, right, the hillbillies own god.

"Hello, out there friends and neighbors.

Has god touched you today?

Have you been touched by Jesus Christ?

Jesus Christ, the savior of us all.

The very same Jesus who touched the rock and turned it to stone.

He will be in town June 13th, 14th, and 15th.

Coupons will be accepted at the door. "

Hope I�m not out of line.

I hate to see folks leave when I be talking'.

I hope y'all get raped by black folks with clap.

And nothing worse than the black clap.

I had the clap once.

I thought I was cool, man,

'Cause the dudes knew I was getting' some.

"Richie got the clap!

Outta site! My man! Yea-A-A-."

I thought that was cool.

The clap. Nothing' like the clap.

"There is nothing like the clap-A-A-P. "

Moving right along.

No, but oral Roberts is the hippest religious person

I know. You ever seen his show?

The oral Roberts show?

Never seen oral Robert?

He be healing' motherfuckers?

They be going', "I�m going' see oral Roberts. "

And he straighten them out,

And they be going', "it was really wonderful. "

I can see him in his dressing room,

"Five minutes, Mr. Roberts. "

Thank you. I'll be right out.

"How's the house Freddie?"

"Ah, 's ok, ah, couple real cripples up front.

Want to move 'them back?"

"Ah, no, we're working on cataracts tonight, it's... "

Wino's are religious, though.

'Cause they puke.

You can't be no more religious than that, to vomit.

"What do you think of life?"

Wino's and fighters.

I never could fight, and never could be a good wino.

'Cause fighting' was serious.

You know, niggers could fight.

I never could fight, man.

But I had a cool run.

In case the girls see me running'.

"Look, Richard�s running'."

"Yes, but he's cool. "

'Cause, dudes, I remember the cool dudes,

When the cool dudes fight the big dudes,

They always fought cool, right?

"Ah, what you mean, man.

Huh? No wait, hold it.

No wait a minute.

Oh, get up.

No, what you mean?

What, you going to jump on who nigger, huh?

You jump on whom?

When?

Well, you isn�t jumping' on nobody.

I'm the one in charge.

Want to jump on me, motherfucker?

Get. Mm. Mother. Yea. Ah. Now do something'.

Come on, Fred, yea, motherfucker, yea. Frankie!"

This shit be getting' down, boy, they be duking'.

It was beautiful.

I never could do it, though.

I always wanted to sit on the porch

And just look at pussy.

Or hang with the winos 'cause they knew Jesus personally.

If you die, you could go to heaven from a wino.

"Man, I know Jesus.

Shit, live over there in the project.

Nigger isn�t shit.

I knew the boy's mama.

That's right, man.

Girl with big boobs?

Pretty black girl, man.

Had personality all over her face.

Well, that's right.

I knew her.

I'm the one responsible for that girl.

She wasn't no virgin, neither.

'Cause I knew a couple niggers eased up there and got some.

Shit, be telling' me.

I 'member when her son, Jesus, was born

'Cause her husband Joe damn near killed her.

'Cause she told him god made a baby.

He beat her with a pool stick.

Said 'bitch, you going to tell me who the daddy of this baby is. '

Damn near broke that bitch's neck.

She fessed up.

Found out it was jimmy walker.

That's right.

I knew Jesus when he was nothing', man.

Little boy.

I remember when he got killed.

I'm the one tried to save the boy's life.

1935, June 10th.

People talk about it was, what, Easter.

Motherfucker that... it was June 10, 1935.

I said, 'boy, don't you go down to the railroad track

Fucking with them Jews without no money. '

That's right.

Nigger went down there, they killed his ass.

Talking' 'bout he rose from the grave,

Shit he wouldn't get up in the morning'.

Shit, I been around.

I isn�t no fool, I studies peoples.

I know what peoples coming' from.

Shit, I�m a peopleologist.

That's right.

People don't know what I been doing, man.

I'm one of the first colored's man in the FBI.

That's right, j. Edgar hoover 'pointed me personally, girl.

Wanted somebody on the railroad to watch the Mexicans.

That's right.

Cause couldn't nobody on the bureau

At that particular time speak Mexican talk.

Then they hired me.

I can understand Mexican 'cause I hear 'them taking',

I say 'what you say, motherfucker?'

They tell me.

Damn.

Whew.

Whoa.

Let's see you birds sing that!

Tweet, tweet my ass.

You got to get down.

See the people got to understand this community..

Say fool!

You better slow that car down!

Goddamn, you don't come drive down through here

Like you crazy!

This a neighborhood, man,

This isn�t no residential district!

Shit, you could kept that sign anything.

That all bitch.

You see, that, girl?

What you looking' for, a match?

Well, go for yourself.

See, I�m going to tell you something'.

See, that fool that just drove, there.

That don't mean nothing' to me.

I lives around here.

I'm in charge of this district.

I directs traffic every day.

I handles these peoples.

Listen, this.. Look, watch.

Say ice cream boy!

No, we don't want no ice cream.

Can you turn that goddamn noise off?

Well, don't nobody want to hear that think-A-Ling shit

This time a morning'.

Yea, I get some of them pampers on your ass nigger,

You don't turn it off.

Well, jump out that car, you bad motherfucker.

Yea, I know how get your ass back in there, nigger.

Shit, I don't take no shit.

I was in world war I, boy, I�m a veteran.

That's right, I was in France.

I was at the battle at chateau-Bryon.

You don't fuck with me.

I isn�t no fool.

I got mustard gas wounds all over my body.

Mess with me.

Shit, I understand.

I'm pure.

My great-Great-Great-Great grandmother was

African princess.

That's right, I isn�t got no white blood in me.

I'm pure.

Name was Cleo.

Cleo Johnson.

Shit.

I been arousal.

Trying' laugh at me.

You got to call, honky.

Is that a camera?

What that motherfucker over there doing'

With a camera, man?

You can't film this.

Can't get arrested for drinking' nothing'.

See, peoples got to understand what's going on with the world.

When I was young, I used to pimp.

I been around.

Shit, Mae west was my whore.

That's right, little short-Legged bitch.

That's right.

Bitch gave me plenty money.

Me and jack Johnson.

I used to box, I boxed jack Johnson, boy.

I boxed that nigger 17 rounds.

June 5th, 1905.

We fought for 17 rounds, boy, I�d-A won if it don't snow.

Nigger saw that white, damn near kilt me.

See that boy over there in the street?

See that boy?

Used to be a genius.

Boy used to book the numbers, didn't need paper or pencil.

Now the nigger can't remember his shoe lace.

Get off the street, boy!

Look at the nigger.

Move, motherfucker!

'Fore you get run over, boy, get outta the way!

Willie!

Move outta the street, man.

What's happening!'

What's happen. What's happening'!

What's happening'!

What's happening'!

Shit.

I see you all motherfucker.

I'm mean motherfucker these calls.

I'm directing' this shit.

Oh-H.

Say, man, I feel bad enough to drink some milk.

You got anything?"

"Yea, boy, I got something'.

I got some advice for your ass.

You better lay off that narcotic, nigger,

That made you null and void.

That's right.

You'd better try to go to work and get a job,

Be somebody respectable.

Fucking around out here on the streets like a fool.

You could help the community.

You better get it together. "

"What's happening'!

Shi... motherfucker!

I used to work motherfucker!

I worked for five years in a row when I was

In the joint.

Pressing' license plates.

Kiss my ass. Truck.

Where the fuck a nigger going to get a job out here

In the street pressing' license plates, man.

You, understand, you motherfucker?

The motherfucker!

Kiss my motherfucking ass, nigger!

Kill me, motherfucker!

I... I went down to the unemployment bureau,

Baby, you dig, that's right.

I went in there, put on my white voice,

Walked in the office, talking 'bout,

'Good afternoon, I�m applying for a job,

I'm wondering, can you help me. '

Freaked the bitch out.

Ah-H-H.

All be talking 'bout, 'oh, what you been doing'

To your voice?'.

Everything, motherfucker.

Myyyy.

Bitch starting asking' me who invented palm beach,

All that motherfucking shit.

I said 'hey, I got to get through this shit

To get a job!?'

Motherfucking job.

Shit, I�d rather be hi-I-I-I-G-H. "

"We're all going to get high today, boy.

Can you get high Offa some of this, nigger?

Try some-A that. "

"What you trembling'.

No, you can't have none of this now.

You going to tremble, nigger, now what's wrong with you?"

"I'm sick motherfucker. I'm sick, man.

I isn�t had no shit, man, in motherfucker.

The nigger told me I got to have some money to get some dope?

I did sixty days for that nigger.

You understand?

The motherfucker saw me in the street, man.

I was sick in the street...

and needed just a little bit a dope.

You, know, just shoot me up.

I be cool 'cause he the nigger who turned me on, man,

Told me it was cocaine, baby!.

Say 'it isn�t going to fuck with you',

'Little cocaine'.

It be cool.

You dig.

And my line, man.

You know, that motherfucker shot me up with some big boy.

And then I got... my momma called me a dog.

My momma, mother dear, called me a dog.

That's right, the bitch called me a dog.

My daddy told me he don't want to see me

Inna Vicinity.

Just 'cause I stole his television.

Shit.

And, I�m sick, man, I need some help.

I need somebody to walk with me and talk with me

Till two o'clock tomorrow afternoon

When I can get some shit.

I'll be alright, I can handle this white world,

Then, baby. Ha-Ha.

I get a little shit in my veins, I can take all the shit.

You know what I mean?

I can take it now.

'Cause my mind think

The shit out I want to think about.

But if you hang out with me and lie to me

You all wise thinking' motherfucker.

You isn�t do that for me. "

"I'm going to do it with you, boy.

I'm going to walk with you.

'Cause I believe you got potential.

You could be somebody with a little opportunity like I had

Back in 1905.

I went down to Mexico city 'cause that's the only place

A nigger could go enjoy himself without prejudice.

I went down there, spent my money.

I was in Mexico city, right across from

The Garcia hotel.

Poncho come out an' recognize me, man.

Poncho, said, 'hey, baby!' 'Poncho, motherfucker. '

And we hugged and kissed and shit, and now,

Keep walking', walk with me, man, I�m going to tell you 'bout it.

Me and Ponch, we worked down here,

Was just...

black people have a lot to overcome

And it isn�t just the mountain.

Martin Luther king, said, "I have been to the mountaintop... "

I've been to the mountaintop too,

And I looked over the top, and what did I see?

More white folks... with guns.

This isn�t as funny as we thought it was going to be.

Motherfucker show biz.