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It was a beautiful morning
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in East Texas.
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The kind of morning that
made you want to get up,
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00:00:10,015 --> 00:00:13,207
get dressed and test that acceleration
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00:00:13,210 --> 00:00:17,901
due to gravity does not
depend on an object's motion.
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00:00:17,904 --> 00:00:19,536
I love Saturdays.
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The Earth causes the same
gravitational acceleration
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00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:23,715
of everything,
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even a doll and a flying Ping-Pong ball.
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It's not often a man of science
11
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gets to say "Yippee
ki-yay," and mean it, but...
12
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Yippee ki-yay.
13
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Morning, Herschel.
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Hey, George. Uh, you didn't see a dog
15
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wandering around here, did you?
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No. Y'all get a dog?
17
00:00:45,385 --> 00:00:47,562
Uh, sort of. We took him
in after my brother-in-law
18
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had to go live in a gated community.
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00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:53,035
Oh, that sounds nice, uh,
they got a no pets policy?
20
00:00:53,037 --> 00:00:54,082
He's in jail, George.
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Right, sure.
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00:00:55,106 --> 00:00:56,372
In physics,
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00:00:56,374 --> 00:00:57,673
nothing feels better
24
00:00:57,675 --> 00:00:59,442
than predicting an outcome.
25
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I love predictability.
26
00:01:01,187 --> 00:01:03,437
The force of gravity: predictable.
27
00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:05,840
Nuclear fusion: predictable.
28
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My brother peeing in the shower:
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00:01:08,179 --> 00:01:10,340
repulsive, but predictable.
30
00:01:10,343 --> 00:01:12,231
What isn't predictable:
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dogs.
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I've always been terrified of dogs.
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To me, they're nothing but
big, furry question marks.
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Question marks with teeth.
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In panic situations, I'd
often lose consciousness.
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This time, I only lost my voice.
37
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Help.
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Please help.
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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
40
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Uh, I was just admiring
41
00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:02,438
Grandpa Smurf's unique walking stick.
42
00:02:02,440 --> 00:02:04,073
Smurf-a-loo-loo.
43
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That's not my walking stick.
44
00:02:05,398 --> 00:02:06,473
Lunch is ready.
45
00:02:06,476 --> 00:02:07,843
Can you go get your brother?
46
00:02:07,845 --> 00:02:09,378
I'm watching TV.
47
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Just go.
48
00:02:10,781 --> 00:02:14,383
I have to do smurfing
everything around here.
49
00:02:14,385 --> 00:02:15,951
I heard that.
50
00:02:15,953 --> 00:02:17,500
I said "smurfing."
51
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And I heard how you said it.
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She can cut her own crusts off.
53
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Sheldon?
54
00:02:25,129 --> 00:02:27,529
Who are you?
55
00:02:27,531 --> 00:02:29,309
You're so cute.
56
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Be careful.
57
00:02:31,869 --> 00:02:33,606
What are you doing up there?
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Staying alive.
59
00:02:35,406 --> 00:02:36,820
Whose dog is this?
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00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:38,741
I don't know. Get help.
61
00:02:38,743 --> 00:02:40,309
Well, how did he get into the garage?
62
00:02:40,311 --> 00:02:42,444
Please get help.
63
00:02:42,446 --> 00:02:43,579
Maybe we can keep it.
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00:02:43,581 --> 00:02:45,681
I'm begging you, get help now.
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00:02:45,683 --> 00:02:48,417
First, I have to tell you something.
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What?
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Lunch is ready.
68
00:02:55,893 --> 00:02:57,660
Will you look at that?
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00:02:57,662 --> 00:02:59,348
What kind of dog chews through wood?
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Y'all are feeding him, right?
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00:03:00,965 --> 00:03:02,328
Maybe he's teething.
72
00:03:02,331 --> 00:03:03,599
You know, when Billy was little,
73
00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:05,122
he chewed right through his playpen.
74
00:03:05,125 --> 00:03:07,395
- No kidding?
- Only had three teeth.
75
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Mostly gummed it.
76
00:03:09,273 --> 00:03:11,607
So how y'all want to fix it?
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00:03:11,609 --> 00:03:12,975
Well, I figure I'll patch it,
78
00:03:12,977 --> 00:03:14,856
run some chicken wire
along the bottom...
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00:03:14,859 --> 00:03:16,712
That way, he don't
chew through it again.
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00:03:16,714 --> 00:03:19,615
Hello.
81
00:03:19,617 --> 00:03:21,050
- Hey.
- Hey, Billy.
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00:03:21,052 --> 00:03:23,962
Was this fence window always here?
83
00:03:25,601 --> 00:03:28,457
No, son, that's a new fence window.
84
00:03:29,742 --> 00:03:32,061
Anybody else getting dizzy?
85
00:03:44,313 --> 00:03:46,309
Why didn't you call for help?
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I tried, but no sound came out.
87
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You poor thing.
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It was very dirty up there.
89
00:03:52,226 --> 00:03:54,750
Is cleaning the garage
your job or Dad's?
90
00:03:54,752 --> 00:03:56,076
Don't you worry about that.
91
00:03:56,079 --> 00:03:57,411
Here, have some tea.
92
00:03:57,414 --> 00:03:58,987
- Chamomile?
- Yes.
93
00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:00,022
One teaspoon of honey?
94
00:04:00,024 --> 00:04:01,098
Yes.
95
00:04:01,101 --> 00:04:02,491
An ice cube to cool it off?
96
00:04:02,493 --> 00:04:04,153
I went with two today.
97
00:04:04,156 --> 00:04:05,859
You've been through enough.
98
00:04:10,578 --> 00:04:12,134
I prefer one ice cube.
99
00:04:12,136 --> 00:04:13,669
Drink it.
100
00:04:16,382 --> 00:04:18,028
It's nice when the kids are in bed,
101
00:04:18,031 --> 00:04:21,343
and we can just hang out and relax.
102
00:04:21,345 --> 00:04:24,313
I'm not even gonna respond to that.
103
00:04:24,315 --> 00:04:26,849
I finally got him asleep.
104
00:04:26,851 --> 00:04:28,473
He's still pretty shook up.
105
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:29,651
Maybe having
106
00:04:29,653 --> 00:04:31,620
this mutt next door won't be so bad.
107
00:04:31,622 --> 00:04:33,655
Shelly could end up getting used to it.
108
00:04:33,657 --> 00:04:34,857
That's true.
109
00:04:34,859 --> 00:04:36,162
Remember when he got all freaked out
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00:04:36,164 --> 00:04:37,934
by the fruit at the bottom of yogurt?
111
00:04:37,937 --> 00:04:39,528
Now he eats it no problem.
112
00:04:39,531 --> 00:04:41,268
He still makes me stir it.
113
00:04:41,271 --> 00:04:42,404
Maybe you could start out
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with a small pet, and work your way up.
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Like a turtle.
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00:04:45,336 --> 00:04:47,169
He says they carry salmonella.
117
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A gerbil?
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00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:50,038
Apparently, they caused the plague.
119
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,484
What about a bird?
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Oh, I know that one.
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They'll steal his hair to make a nest.
122
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Mom!
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At least this time, sound came out.
124
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I call that progress.
125
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What's going on?
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Your dog got into our house.
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How the hell did he do that?
128
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He pushed in a screen window.
129
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You think he chewed
through the fence again?
130
00:05:35,004 --> 00:05:37,329
All I know is Sheldon's
yelling at the dog,
131
00:05:37,332 --> 00:05:38,946
and Mary's yelling at me.
132
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Now I'm looking at
you in your underwear.
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Damn it, Herschel, what is going on?
134
00:05:42,866 --> 00:05:45,474
- Oh, hey, George.
- Hey, Brenda.
135
00:05:45,476 --> 00:05:47,110
Bucky got in their house.
136
00:05:47,113 --> 00:05:48,121
That's funny.
137
00:05:48,124 --> 00:05:51,092
It might be funny one
day, not right now.
138
00:05:51,095 --> 00:05:52,448
Look, I'm real sorry, George.
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I'll keep him tied up,
it won't happen again.
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Y'all have a good night.
141
00:05:55,921 --> 00:05:57,087
George!
142
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:59,074
You are not gonna believe this. Look.
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Their dog left a dead
squirrel in our living room.
144
00:06:01,993 --> 00:06:04,274
Well, h-he is part hunting dog.
145
00:06:04,277 --> 00:06:05,860
I think that means he likes you.
146
00:06:05,863 --> 00:06:07,824
I'm not interested in
winning his affection.
147
00:06:07,827 --> 00:06:11,019
I'm interested in keeping dogs
and rodents outside of my home.
148
00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:12,255
Well, now, hold on.
149
00:06:12,258 --> 00:06:13,636
How do we know it was Bucky that left
150
00:06:13,638 --> 00:06:14,904
that squirrel in your house?
151
00:06:14,906 --> 00:06:16,906
Maybe that squirrel was already there.
152
00:06:16,908 --> 00:06:20,443
Why else would a dead
squirrel be in my living room?
153
00:06:20,445 --> 00:06:22,211
I don't know what
kind of house you keep.
154
00:06:23,340 --> 00:06:24,965
My house is immaculate.
155
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:26,482
- George, tell them.
- Uh...
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She does keep a nice house.
157
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:30,552
Honey, it's a pretty
good chance it was Bucky.
158
00:06:30,555 --> 00:06:32,876
- Whose side are you on?
- Yours, always yours.
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00:06:32,879 --> 00:06:34,699
All right. Everyone's upset, it's late.
160
00:06:34,702 --> 00:06:36,559
Maybe we should drop this for tonight?
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That's a good idea. Okay.
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00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:39,969
You just keep your dog away from my son.
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00:06:39,972 --> 00:06:41,991
- There you go picking it up again.
- I am sorry,
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00:06:41,994 --> 00:06:43,360
but their dog broke into our home.
165
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Something he probably
learned from your brother.
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00:06:45,512 --> 00:06:46,746
How dare you.
167
00:06:46,749 --> 00:06:49,183
Okay, I think that's
a good stopping point.
168
00:06:49,186 --> 00:06:50,940
How do we know that your son didn't
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00:06:50,942 --> 00:06:54,143
lure Bucky in to perform weird
science experiments on him?
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00:06:54,145 --> 00:06:57,479
My son was asleep in his bed,
and you have some nerve...
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Oh, oh, oh! Oh!
172
00:07:00,618 --> 00:07:02,218
Night, George!
173
00:07:02,220 --> 00:07:03,319
Night!
174
00:07:07,992 --> 00:07:09,558
I don't understand why that dog
175
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:11,193
is so interested in Sheldon.
176
00:07:11,195 --> 00:07:13,763
Maybe Bucky likes the
way Sheldon smells?
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00:07:13,765 --> 00:07:15,698
Your brother washes
himself three times a day.
178
00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:16,955
He has no smell.
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00:07:16,958 --> 00:07:18,851
Here we go: animal control.
180
00:07:18,854 --> 00:07:20,187
Oh, no, no.
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00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:22,737
No, you don't want to go
calling animal control.
182
00:07:22,740 --> 00:07:24,588
- Why not?
- Because,
183
00:07:24,591 --> 00:07:27,275
you have to live next
door to these people.
184
00:07:27,278 --> 00:07:31,412
They called the cops on Georgie
when he played music too loud.
185
00:07:31,415 --> 00:07:34,345
Maybe it was them, maybe it was me.
186
00:07:34,348 --> 00:07:35,623
Anyway, the point is,
187
00:07:35,626 --> 00:07:36,857
you don't can't go throwing
188
00:07:36,860 --> 00:07:38,321
gasoline on the fire.
189
00:07:38,323 --> 00:07:39,622
Well, they started this fire,
190
00:07:39,624 --> 00:07:41,324
and now, they're gonna get burned.
191
00:07:41,326 --> 00:07:43,859
I believe you've had enough coffee.
192
00:07:43,861 --> 00:07:46,837
Listen, why don't you
let me talk to Brenda,
193
00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,235
and just smooth things out?
194
00:07:48,238 --> 00:07:49,732
Why do you think she'll listen to you?
195
00:07:49,734 --> 00:07:52,201
Because people like me more than you.
196
00:07:52,203 --> 00:07:54,270
People like me.
197
00:07:54,272 --> 00:07:56,505
I didn't say they don't,
they just like me more.
198
00:07:56,507 --> 00:07:57,521
Anyway,
199
00:07:57,524 --> 00:07:59,108
I see her all the time at bowling.
200
00:07:59,110 --> 00:08:00,876
I know how to handle her.
201
00:08:00,878 --> 00:08:02,111
Fine.
202
00:08:02,113 --> 00:08:03,657
Thank you.
203
00:08:08,493 --> 00:08:10,360
Plenty of people like me.
204
00:08:16,294 --> 00:08:18,427
Hey, Brenda, how's it going?
205
00:08:18,429 --> 00:08:21,931
Your daughter's a pain in my
ass, that's how it's going.
206
00:08:23,935 --> 00:08:25,334
You don't beat around the bush.
207
00:08:25,336 --> 00:08:27,134
I've always liked that about you.
208
00:08:27,137 --> 00:08:29,105
Connie, I've had a long night.
209
00:08:29,107 --> 00:08:31,707
Unless you're looking to
bowl, I don't want to hear it.
210
00:08:31,709 --> 00:08:33,175
Aw, now, come on.
211
00:08:33,177 --> 00:08:35,878
Let me buy you a drink,
and we'll talk about this.
212
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:38,347
I'm more on your side than you think.
213
00:08:38,349 --> 00:08:39,448
Somehow,
214
00:08:39,450 --> 00:08:41,817
- I doubt that.
- It's true.
215
00:08:41,819 --> 00:08:45,587
Don't you think I realize
that Mary can be a bit...
216
00:08:45,590 --> 00:08:47,256
Of a self-righteous bitch?
217
00:08:47,258 --> 00:08:50,349
I was gonna say "challenging,"
but sure, let's go with yours.
218
00:08:50,352 --> 00:08:51,845
It's got a nice rhythm.
219
00:08:53,431 --> 00:08:55,431
Mmm.
220
00:08:55,433 --> 00:08:56,999
Brenda, this is, by far,
221
00:08:57,001 --> 00:08:59,602
the best bowling alley
margarita in town.
222
00:08:59,604 --> 00:09:00,821
How long
223
00:09:00,824 --> 00:09:03,220
you and Herschel been
married? 18, 19 years?
224
00:09:03,223 --> 00:09:05,430
19, but it feels like 30.
225
00:09:05,433 --> 00:09:08,177
Well, y'all are a great couple.
226
00:09:08,179 --> 00:09:09,311
Eh.
227
00:09:09,313 --> 00:09:10,846
I just wanted to thank you
228
00:09:10,848 --> 00:09:13,582
for being so patient and kind
to my daughter and her family
229
00:09:13,584 --> 00:09:15,017
since they moved in.
230
00:09:15,019 --> 00:09:16,819
- It's nothing.
- No,
231
00:09:16,821 --> 00:09:18,365
it needs to be said.
232
00:09:18,368 --> 00:09:21,357
You know, Mary has a tough
job raising those three kids,
233
00:09:21,359 --> 00:09:24,794
with one of them being,
you know, somewhat special.
234
00:09:24,796 --> 00:09:26,695
- I can see that.
- Yeah.
235
00:09:26,697 --> 00:09:30,199
And having a kind neighbor makes
all the difference in the world.
236
00:09:30,201 --> 00:09:31,467
Well, we try.
237
00:09:31,469 --> 00:09:34,703
And I know you know how stressful it is,
238
00:09:34,705 --> 00:09:36,572
seeing as how you have your own child
239
00:09:36,574 --> 00:09:39,608
who is special in his own way.
240
00:09:39,610 --> 00:09:41,310
What's that supposed to mean?
241
00:09:41,312 --> 00:09:45,459
Well, I mean, hey, I know
Billy is a terrific little boy,
242
00:09:45,462 --> 00:09:48,617
but I am sure he has
presented you and Herschel
243
00:09:48,619 --> 00:09:50,386
with some challenges.
244
00:09:50,388 --> 00:09:52,756
If there's a weird kid
in the neighborhood,
245
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:54,240
it's your grandson.
246
00:09:54,243 --> 00:09:57,766
Now, hang on, I said
"special," not "weird."
247
00:09:57,769 --> 00:09:58,961
I heard you.
248
00:09:58,963 --> 00:10:00,296
I said "weird."
249
00:10:00,298 --> 00:10:01,954
Okay, see now, Brenda,
250
00:10:01,957 --> 00:10:04,100
you don't want to go
calling my grandson weird
251
00:10:04,102 --> 00:10:06,702
when I've just treated
you to a margarita grande.
252
00:10:06,704 --> 00:10:09,071
Well, I'm sorry, but you
shouldn't be inferring
253
00:10:09,073 --> 00:10:11,107
there's something wrong with my Billy.
254
00:10:11,109 --> 00:10:13,209
Darlin', there's no inferring.
255
00:10:13,211 --> 00:10:15,144
I've seen the boy sitting in the dirt
256
00:10:15,146 --> 00:10:17,345
eating his own belly button lint.
257
00:10:25,456 --> 00:10:27,890
Really, Mom? This is
how you put out the fire?
258
00:10:27,892 --> 00:10:30,204
Well, at least she got the worst of it.
259
00:10:30,207 --> 00:10:31,627
How you figure that?
260
00:10:31,629 --> 00:10:34,396
I ripped a big patch
of hair out of her head.
261
00:10:35,534 --> 00:10:37,298
This will be healed in a week.
262
00:10:37,301 --> 00:10:40,268
She will be wearing
a hat till Labor Day.
263
00:10:41,543 --> 00:10:43,505
I want to be just like
you when I grow up.
264
00:10:43,508 --> 00:10:45,204
- No, you don't.
- Pick again.
265
00:10:55,820 --> 00:10:57,670
Excuse me, Ms. Hutchins?
266
00:10:57,673 --> 00:10:58,837
Hey, Sheldon.
267
00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:01,723
Can you recommend any
books on overcoming phobias?
268
00:11:01,726 --> 00:11:04,141
That's in the self-help section.
269
00:11:04,144 --> 00:11:06,978
Follow me, I have read them all.
270
00:11:06,981 --> 00:11:09,834
- Any phobia in particular?
- Dogs.
271
00:11:09,837 --> 00:11:12,201
Ah, cynophobia. That's a good one.
272
00:11:12,204 --> 00:11:14,610
Did you know there's
over 50 million dogs
273
00:11:14,613 --> 00:11:16,396
just in the United States alone?
274
00:11:16,399 --> 00:11:18,438
That's 50 million too many.
275
00:11:18,441 --> 00:11:21,510
Here. I read this one to
help with my haphephobia.
276
00:11:21,512 --> 00:11:25,581
Ah, fear of being touched. I
have that, too. Was it useful?
277
00:11:25,583 --> 00:11:29,131
Well, when someone's
interested in touching me,
278
00:11:29,134 --> 00:11:30,719
we'll find out.
279
00:11:33,576 --> 00:11:34,884
The basic premise
280
00:11:34,887 --> 00:11:36,610
of the book was that phobias
281
00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:39,060
were overcome by
taking incremental steps
282
00:11:39,063 --> 00:11:41,532
toward confronting
the phobia in question.
283
00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:44,700
In my case, that started
with watching a TV show
284
00:11:44,702 --> 00:11:47,303
that was adored by
children around the world,
285
00:11:47,306 --> 00:11:50,639
but for me, was the stuff of nightmares.
286
00:11:50,641 --> 00:11:53,275
Scooby-Doo!
287
00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:56,368
The next step was to go face-to-face
288
00:11:56,371 --> 00:11:59,039
with real dogs.
289
00:11:59,042 --> 00:12:01,776
Albeit through a plate-glass window.
290
00:12:01,779 --> 00:12:03,178
Okay, that's enough.
291
00:12:03,181 --> 00:12:04,423
And finally,
292
00:12:04,426 --> 00:12:07,227
a close encounter of the third kind,
293
00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:11,045
physical contact with a
member of the canine species.
294
00:12:11,048 --> 00:12:14,384
Hello, I'd like to speak
with the veterinarian.
295
00:12:14,387 --> 00:12:16,720
Well, I was hoping you
might have one or two dogs
296
00:12:16,723 --> 00:12:19,727
under anesthesia that
I might come by and pet.
297
00:12:19,730 --> 00:12:21,703
Sure, I'll hold.
298
00:12:21,706 --> 00:12:23,706
Who are you talking to?
299
00:12:23,708 --> 00:12:25,874
The Medford Veterinary Clinic.
300
00:12:25,876 --> 00:12:27,055
Why?
301
00:12:27,058 --> 00:12:28,774
I'm trying to overcome my fear of dogs
302
00:12:28,777 --> 00:12:30,876
before it affects our
family any further.
303
00:12:30,879 --> 00:12:34,310
Oh, honey, you don't have to
worry about how it affects us.
304
00:12:34,313 --> 00:12:36,986
Meemaw got punched in
the face because of me.
305
00:12:36,988 --> 00:12:40,990
No, that wasn't because
of you, and for the record,
306
00:12:40,992 --> 00:12:43,192
your meemaw gets punched
in the face all the time.
307
00:12:43,194 --> 00:12:44,735
Well, I still think I need to take
308
00:12:44,738 --> 00:12:46,423
some sort of positive action.
309
00:12:46,426 --> 00:12:48,518
- Hello?
- Yes, hello?
310
00:12:48,521 --> 00:12:50,232
Oh, that's too bad.
311
00:12:50,235 --> 00:12:53,748
How about a small fluffy one
that's recently died of old age?
312
00:12:53,751 --> 00:12:55,371
Enough.
313
00:12:55,373 --> 00:12:58,073
Sorry.
314
00:13:01,857 --> 00:13:04,805
Now, it says here in Mark 12:31
315
00:13:04,808 --> 00:13:06,821
that you should "Love your neighbor
316
00:13:06,824 --> 00:13:08,342
as yourself."
317
00:13:08,344 --> 00:13:11,312
Anybody like to take a
guess what that means? Missy?
318
00:13:11,314 --> 00:13:14,348
It means to be nice to the
people who live next door.
319
00:13:14,350 --> 00:13:15,483
That's right.
320
00:13:15,485 --> 00:13:17,269
But everybody else can go to hell.
321
00:13:17,272 --> 00:13:20,321
Okay, Missy, we don't use
that kind of language here.
322
00:13:20,324 --> 00:13:22,347
And if you think about
it, in this world,
323
00:13:22,350 --> 00:13:26,660
with all the ways we can travel,
everybody's your neighbor.
324
00:13:26,663 --> 00:13:28,129
Yes, Sheldon.
325
00:13:28,131 --> 00:13:29,697
How do we love our neighbors
326
00:13:29,699 --> 00:13:31,532
when our moms hate each other?
327
00:13:31,534 --> 00:13:33,768
- Who does your mom hate?
- Your mom.
328
00:13:33,770 --> 00:13:36,580
Hey, my mom hates your mom. Small world.
329
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:38,406
Okay, let's hang on a second.
330
00:13:38,408 --> 00:13:40,074
My mom also hates their grandma.
331
00:13:40,076 --> 00:13:41,780
'Cause she lost a fight to her.
332
00:13:41,783 --> 00:13:44,213
Nuh-uh, she won. She said so.
333
00:13:44,216 --> 00:13:46,347
All right, stop. Let's stop.
334
00:13:46,349 --> 00:13:48,486
Now this might be hard to understand,
335
00:13:48,489 --> 00:13:50,523
but living a loving, Christian life
336
00:13:50,526 --> 00:13:52,924
isn't always the easiest thing to do.
337
00:13:54,457 --> 00:13:55,523
Yes, Billy.
338
00:13:55,525 --> 00:13:58,221
My mom's not crazy about you either.
339
00:14:00,530 --> 00:14:03,799
Just love your neighbor, 'kay?
340
00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:06,470
Now, I am more than willing
to look the other way
341
00:14:06,473 --> 00:14:08,702
when my parishioners don't
get along with each other.
342
00:14:08,705 --> 00:14:11,492
That sort of thing happens,
but when it becomes a problem
343
00:14:11,495 --> 00:14:14,163
for the children, then
I have to intervene.
344
00:14:14,166 --> 00:14:16,344
There's no problem here,
345
00:14:16,346 --> 00:14:18,713
other than these two thinking
that they're better than me.
346
00:14:18,715 --> 00:14:20,114
I don't think it, I know it.
347
00:14:20,116 --> 00:14:21,616
I gave your mother a good smacking.
348
00:14:21,618 --> 00:14:22,817
I can give you one, too.
349
00:14:22,819 --> 00:14:25,152
That's big talk from
somebody with a comb-over.
350
00:14:25,154 --> 00:14:26,420
Ladies.
351
00:14:26,422 --> 00:14:28,589
Do I need to remind you
that we are Christians?
352
00:14:28,591 --> 00:14:31,632
In all our behavior, in all our actions,
353
00:14:31,635 --> 00:14:34,228
we must constantly ask
ourselves the question,
354
00:14:34,230 --> 00:14:36,197
"What would Jesus do?"
355
00:14:36,199 --> 00:14:37,466
Can I say something?
356
00:14:37,469 --> 00:14:38,929
Would Jesus say it?
357
00:14:38,932 --> 00:14:40,801
Never mind.
358
00:14:42,639 --> 00:14:44,071
In my life,
359
00:14:44,073 --> 00:14:47,842
I've often been accused
of being a physical coward,
360
00:14:47,844 --> 00:14:51,096
and for the most part, those
accusations are correct.
361
00:14:52,882 --> 00:14:56,951
But there have been times
when I've shown great courage.
362
00:14:56,953 --> 00:15:00,021
This was one of them.
363
00:15:00,023 --> 00:15:02,690
Hello, Bucky.
364
00:15:02,692 --> 00:15:07,161
Are you a good dog?
365
00:15:09,411 --> 00:15:12,078
Please be a good dog.
366
00:15:12,081 --> 00:15:14,385
Please.
367
00:15:14,388 --> 00:15:17,437
Now oftentimes, when
we don't like someone,
368
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,774
what's happening is we
see something in them
369
00:15:19,776 --> 00:15:21,475
that we don't like in ourselves.
370
00:15:21,477 --> 00:15:22,943
What are you saying?
371
00:15:22,945 --> 00:15:25,146
Really? That was over your head?
372
00:15:25,148 --> 00:15:27,415
I'm saying,
373
00:15:27,417 --> 00:15:29,684
y'all might have more
in common than you think.
374
00:15:29,686 --> 00:15:32,025
Well, don't say both
their kids are "special."
375
00:15:32,028 --> 00:15:34,439
She does not like that.
376
00:15:36,426 --> 00:15:38,192
Okay.
377
00:15:38,194 --> 00:15:40,928
Here we go.
378
00:15:40,930 --> 00:15:44,932
Petting... the dog.
379
00:16:01,033 --> 00:16:03,317
I'm doing it.
380
00:16:03,319 --> 00:16:05,920
I'm petting a dog.
381
00:16:05,922 --> 00:16:08,989
I've conquered my phobia.
382
00:16:08,991 --> 00:16:12,593
You're a good boy. Yes, you are.
383
00:16:14,831 --> 00:16:17,698
I'm sorry for the unkind
things I said to you.
384
00:16:19,381 --> 00:16:21,180
Me, too.
385
00:16:22,572 --> 00:16:23,637
Connie?
386
00:16:23,639 --> 00:16:25,406
What?
387
00:16:25,408 --> 00:16:27,508
Anything you'd like to say?
388
00:16:27,510 --> 00:16:30,244
Not particularly.
389
00:16:30,246 --> 00:16:31,946
Mom.
390
00:16:31,948 --> 00:16:33,447
Okay.
391
00:16:35,104 --> 00:16:37,010
I'm sorry for the things I said,
392
00:16:37,013 --> 00:16:41,015
and, you know, what happened
at the bowling alley.
393
00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:44,244
As am I.
394
00:16:46,162 --> 00:16:47,495
Here.
395
00:16:47,497 --> 00:16:49,643
I think this came out of your head.
396
00:16:53,468 --> 00:16:56,002
He licked me! He licked me!
397
00:16:56,005 --> 00:16:57,705
The dog licked my tongue!
398
00:16:57,707 --> 00:16:59,361
I can still taste it!
399
00:16:59,364 --> 00:17:02,809
Call 911!
400
00:17:02,812 --> 00:17:06,025
I think Jesus might go check that out.
401
00:17:10,627 --> 00:17:12,453
How's it going in there, baby?
402
00:17:12,455 --> 00:17:16,190
Okay, but we're gonna
need more Listerine.
403
00:17:19,295 --> 00:17:22,429
I'm proud of him for trying to
overcome that damn dog phobia.
404
00:17:22,431 --> 00:17:24,179
You should tell him that.
405
00:17:24,182 --> 00:17:26,674
Well, if he ever leaves
that bathroom, I will.
406
00:17:26,677 --> 00:17:30,283
What I can't figure out is why
that dog is so drawn to Sheldon.
407
00:17:30,286 --> 00:17:31,772
Beats me.
408
00:17:31,774 --> 00:17:34,208
- You say his owner's in the slammer?
- Yeah.
409
00:17:34,210 --> 00:17:36,283
Wonder what kind of fella he is.
410
00:17:59,969 --> 00:18:02,636
It's a mystery.
411
00:18:02,638 --> 00:18:04,494
I guess we'll never know.
412
00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:10,726
Hey, Moonpie.
413
00:18:10,729 --> 00:18:13,282
I got you a little something to help you
414
00:18:13,284 --> 00:18:15,631
get over your fear of animals.
415
00:18:15,634 --> 00:18:17,601
A tranquilizer gun?
416
00:18:17,604 --> 00:18:19,510
A pet fish.
417
00:18:20,916 --> 00:18:24,159
_
418
00:18:24,162 --> 00:18:25,561
Why?
419
00:18:25,564 --> 00:18:28,952
Well, I thought you could start
small and then work your way up.
420
00:18:28,955 --> 00:18:31,834
Look, he's kind of cute.
421
00:18:31,836 --> 00:18:36,654
He doesn't even care
that I'm here. I like him.
422
00:18:36,657 --> 00:18:38,757
What are you gonna name him?
423
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,276
Fish.
424
00:18:40,278 --> 00:18:41,511
Fish?
425
00:18:41,513 --> 00:18:43,564
I'm not ready to get attached.
426
00:18:45,446 --> 00:18:47,077
Fish are kind of boring.
427
00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:49,085
I know, isn't it great?
428
00:18:49,087 --> 00:18:50,780
But you can't even pet 'em.
429
00:18:50,783 --> 00:18:53,790
Maybe we can.
430
00:18:55,192 --> 00:18:56,459
Baby, what's wrong?
431
00:18:56,461 --> 00:19:00,280
I tried to pet Fish!
Ah, he was so slimy!
432
00:19:00,283 --> 00:19:02,436
Well, yeah, he's a fish.
433
00:19:02,439 --> 00:19:05,935
I put my finger in the top of
the tank, then I touched him,
434
00:19:05,937 --> 00:19:07,069
and he bit me!
435
00:19:07,071 --> 00:19:08,871
Oh, I'm sure he didn't bite you.
436
00:19:08,873 --> 00:19:10,006
I can't breathe.
437
00:19:10,008 --> 00:19:13,743
His fish blood is mixing
with my human blood.
438
00:19:13,745 --> 00:19:16,338
Maybe he was just trying
to give you a kiss.
439
00:19:16,341 --> 00:19:18,942
No. He hates me. I never
want to see him again.
440
00:19:18,945 --> 00:19:20,593
Oh, Sheldon, you're being silly.
441
00:19:20,596 --> 00:19:22,424
Fish like this don't bite.
442
00:19:23,521 --> 00:19:26,108
Look. See? He's harmless.
443
00:19:26,111 --> 00:19:27,890
Son of a bitch!
444
00:19:27,893 --> 00:19:29,508
Dad killed my fish!
445
00:19:29,511 --> 00:19:30,577
George!
446
00:19:30,580 --> 00:19:32,395
He'll be fine.
447
00:19:32,397 --> 00:19:34,697
Just got to put him back in the bowl.
448
00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:39,002
Oh, George.
449
00:19:45,546 --> 00:19:49,228
_
450
00:19:51,856 --> 00:19:56,946
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