Original subtitles

Ah, Professor Marco!

Buenos dias! Welcome to Britain!

Er, may I? We're saving you the trouble of having to go through Customs and Immigration.

This way, please, sir.

Those who are about to die... STEED: Nobody's about to die.

Anyway, they're all volunteers.

We have made exhaustive tests. Exhaustive tests on rabbits.

People aren't like rabbits. Oh, I don't know.

Uncle of mine sired 19 children.

He was a keen bicyclist.

Of course, he got about a bit.

Now that you've had these inoculations,

you can't be affected.

But the whole thing's safe, I promise you. Safe and beautiful.

See for yourself.

Ladies and gentlemen.

You are privileged to participate in this test.

We scientists have too often been accused of seeking only to create new weapons of destruction.

But the experiment you're about to take part in can only save lives.

Imagine, if you will, that you're a group of terrorists

holed up in a building or a hijacked plane.

You have hostages. You're constantly on the alert.

The police are helpless.

But suddenly, a plane flies past. (PLANE WHIZZES OVERHEAD)

So fast that you barely see it.

Yet, in that split second, the plane has released a quantity of S-95.

It's not exactly a gas. More like a fine dust.

Rather like the dust that is always in the atmosphere we breathe.

Colourless, odourless, but instantaneously effective.

Instantaneous. Faster than a man can pull a trigger.

They're unharmed, merely sleeping.

An injection, such as you've all had, would restore them immediately.

And if there is no injection?

Well, they'd probably sleep for at least six hours, more or less.

Depends on the individual.

WOMAN: 'As we wend our way towards Whitehall,

'the throbbing hub of British government,

'we pass, on your left, the National Gallery,

'home of England's art treasures.

'And on your right is, of course, the famous Trafalgar Square,

'with Nelson's Column the towering centrepiece.

'And behind you, now, is the beautiful church of St Martin-in-the-Fields.'

Right. Better make yourselves comfortable.

This is where you'll be spending the next 18 hours.

Keep all that stuff out of sight. You won't be needing it yet.

Professor Marco, your interest is flattering,

but couldn't we continue this conversation in more comfort at my place?

My dear Dr Graham, you must forgive me. I was carried away by my enthusiasm.

However, of course you are right. Please, if you wish, let us go.

Must say, I'm feeling pleased with myself.

The whole thing went off with a... (GROAN)

Not one word. Not one.

Just come towards me.

Come.

Ace.

Up to you. How many?

Three. I'll see you.

Your deal.

Where's your fiver?

Ricky. Three odd.

It's worked.

Must have worked. Otherwise we'd have known by now.

Stop!

Stop!

(GUNSHOT) Aaaah!

That'll ruin your digestion, Steed.

I'm not going to eat it. I'm just going to make a call.

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

Who was he? Well, come on! Someone must have known him!

Hardy. That's what he said his name was. Hardy. You knew him?

Only what he told me. Said he was the best plastics man in the business. He used to be.

(TRAIN HORN BLARES) Bring him back to the bus.

(RINGING PERSISTS)

Is she not answering? (RINGING TONE)

You can borrow my little black book. Steed doesn't need a little black book. What little black book?

A slim volume of hints for a growing boy. Ah.

My treat.

Thank you, Steed.

Thank you.

Wake up. Come on, it's time. Yeah, all right.

Thanks for a beautiful evening, you wonderful man.

Good night, Purdey.

Hints for a growing boy!

Great girl. The best.

It'll be light at 4:45.

I'll be airborne by 4:40.

They're an impressive-looking lot.

They're the best.

Thanks for a great evening, John. How about a nightcap?

Sure, why not?

Good.

Yes. The best.

All right. Everybody back on the bus.

Cheers! Cheers.

Still not answering? (RINGING TONE)

You know, I like this place. It's not my style, but, er...

it does have style.

I don't feel like going back to the country tonight.

You've got a spare room, haven't you? Yes.

Course, I can always go to a hotel. No, no, there's a spare room and you're welcome.

(RINGING)

(RINGING PERSISTS)

I'm not into pyjamas myself,

but I have an aunt who thinks I should be.

Every birthday, I get a new pair.

Thanks, Mike.

It's not very palatial, but...

Oh, it's fine. There's everything I need.

Course, I'll miss the dawn chorus of birdsong.

Won't be saying that in the morning when Charlie gets here.

Charlie's a sparrow, well, who's adopted me.

Oh! And every morning, he arrives at the crack of dawn and sings his little heart out.

One of these days, I'm going to get my hands on him and...

Good night, Steed.

(CHIRPING SOUND)

(CHIRPS)

(RINGING)

(RINGING PERSISTS)

(TELEPHONE CHIRPS)

A nightcap, eh?

You never have that extra drink when you're driving.

And you don't intend putting these on either.

You're going to stay dressed, ready to go somewhere fast. Why?

Where?

Frank Hardy, he called me yesterday.

He's chasing something important.

We arranged to meet here in town.

And he isn't answering.

Oh, it's probably nothing.

Just the same... One of those instinctive hunches of yours?

I don't know if it's a psychic thing, or just experience.

But I've learnt never to disregard them.

Probably just delayed. Maybe.

It's too early for Charlie yet. Eh?

My fine feathered friend.

(HELICOPTER ENGINE WHIRRING)

(KNOCKS ON WINDOW)

Charlie got to you, then?

Different kind of bird entirely. The whirly variety.

What? The helicopter.

Charlie's late, then. Nearly five.

Unless he found someone else to persecute.

Charlie's breakfast.

You sleep well?

You didn't sleep at all, did you?

Hardy.

I called him every hour, on the hour.

Oh, no!

It's Charlie. He's dead.

He's asleep.

Birds don't sleep lying down.

Charlie does. It's quiet out there.

Well, it's Sunday morning. Five o'clock, Sunday morning.

Even at five o'clock, even on a Sunday, one can hear something stirring in this big city.

Now, Hardy was onto something big that was going to happen today.

It ties up with that demonstration of S-95.

(RINGS)

(PURDEY SIGHS) Hello? Yes.

Steed, you want me to what?

I want you to go outside and look at the street.

But I've seen the street.

Listen, Purdey, I promise this is important.

'I'll hold on.' (SIGHS)

All right.

Do you know what time it is? I know, it's extremely early. Now go along!

How many people in this block?

About 50.

I'll check.

(ENGINE RUNNING)

(SWITCHES ENGINE OFF)

(KICKS DOOR)

Steed! Steed!

I've tried every door on this floor. Nobody's answering.

What's Purdey have to say? I'm not sure.

Steed! Everyone's asleep!

It's a terrible line.

(CRACKLES) It's dead.

Let's get over there.

(TYRES SCREECH)

We're nearly there, it's just around the corner.

I didn't know policemen slept standing up. That one does.

It's S-95. The inoculations have made us immune.

Making us the only people left in the city with our eyes open.

OK, Brown, here.

Now.

Take any one of these motors. Yeah.

Hey, Bart. Open up. Right.

Sector three say they think they heard a car. They can't have.

Sector three. No, no.

They must have heard a sound floating across the river.

Everybody here is out cold. It's possible, isn't it?

Someone unaffected? No.

In any case, what could they do? The phones are dead.

And we now have a roadblock all along here.

'Nobody's going anywhere, Tina.

'In or out.

'We have the whole of the City...

'to ourselves.'

Right, helmets on.

(GAMBIT RATTLING DOORKNOB) Purdey! Purdey!

Purdey!

Purdey?

She's not here.

She must be on her way to my place.

She won't like that.

Gambit! Steed!

Fire!

(EXPLOSION)

We're not the only ones who are still wide awake. It's an open city.

Piggybank day. Steed?

If we heard them...

(RINGING)

Keep me informed. We should be away in five minutes. Over.

Keep your face covered. The city's asleep, but not the closed-circuit TV.

Explains the phones. Yes.

But you can't cut off a city like this forever.

In the early hours of Sunday, you can. Not forever, but long enough.

That's Purdey! Purdey!

(ECHOING) Purdey!

(EXPLOSION)

TINA: It's that car, again.

Who's on sector three? It's not sector three.

This time, it's sector five. Somewhere here.

Chuck! Bill!

Chuck, take Bart, get over to sector five and check it out. OK.

Bill, you take Benny to sector three, OK?

WOMAN: '..of our lungs. Let's try a couple of deep, deep breaths.

'In, and hold it...' (INHALES DEEPLY)

'And out, and relax.' (EXHALES)

'And in...

'We want to get the...' (TYRES SCREECHING)

'..some excitement running through our pallid veins...'

(GUNFIRE CONTINUES)

'..running and jumping on the spot!

'And run and run and run, and jump!

'And squeeze...' (TYRES SCREECHING)

'Breath...

'Bright, bright way to start a mundane old Sunday morning!'

(BREATHING HEAVILY)

There.

Come on. This way.

You try the other side.

No sign! Eh?

No sign of her.

Try the next street. Eh?

Try the next street!

Oof!

Ow!

Ah! Ah!

(ENGINE STARTS)

Sector five haven't checked in.

Then the problem is over.

OK, Brown, let's go.

They're heading towards the City.

The Bank of England. The way things are, they won't get much there.

No, an American bank. Or German. Or Arabian!

I usually sleep late on Sundays.

I should be asleep now.

Steed? We're not going to ask ourselves that question.

About how long the inoculations last? How long before we keel over? No.

I'm glad we didn't ask that question.

What I wouldn't give for one of those right now.

Well, this is an emergency.

(ALARM BELL RINGS)

(GLASS SHATTERING)

(ALARM BELL RINGING)

What, straight from the bottle? Well, it is an emergency.

I've always liked to leave a tip. Makes for better service.

(WHISTLES)

(CHAMPAGNE CORK POPS)

(SLAP) (WOMAN SCREAMS)

MAN: Let me be on me way. (GARBLED SPEECH)

WOMAN: I'm a woman! I'm frightened! (VOICE ECHOING)

Beast! I never thought you meant it!

Oh, Stephen! Laura!

Stephen, Stephen! Laura! Laura!

'Stephen, my dearest!' 'Sh!

'Listen.' 'What is it, my darling?'

'It's suddenly gone quiet!'

Yes. (SWITCHES RADIO OFF)

Too quiet.

(GUNFIRE)

(SLURRING) Try a moving target.

Ready? (LAUGHS)

Ready?

Go! (GUNSHOT)

(SPLASH)

Catch!

(ALARM BELL RINGING)

(CHUCKLING) It's so easy, Tina. Candy from kids.

Yeah, but it's taken too long to eat. We've got to hurry. Just two more.

Then we're rich. Richer than Solomon ever dreamed of. (BOTH LAUGH)

What's wrong?

Oh, yes. Very nice.

They're red. It's George, the hotel porter.

He must have got me a hundred cabs in his time. I never knew he wore red socks.

(BUS APPROACHING)

Hey, you!

There's only one thing to do. Run.

Hold it!

What are we running for?

Sector seven to control. Sector seven to control, over.

TINA: 'Come in, Chuck.'

We, er...lost the girl.

And now we're in...

Downton Street.

Er, we pursued two men in here.

Both wide awake.

But, er, we're closing in on them.

(POLE CLANKS AGAINST KERB)

TINA: 'Stay where you are. We're sending help.' Roger.

Come on. Might as well relax while we're waiting.

(SIGHS)

(GROANS)

(SIGHS)

Thanks. Pleasure.

Things are worse than we'd thought. Why?

England are all out for 142. Don't you think we should discuss the cricket another time?

I think we should get high.

Somewhere up there. And then we can see what's going on.

Exactly.

Roadblocked area,

extent of sleeping area...

and beyond.

MAN ON RADIO: 'Control to Victor Two.'

Victor Two. 'We can't raise Control Five the other side of the river.

'Probably a power breakdown, but just to make sure, go over and take a look.'

Message received and understood. On the way.

Siren? Why not?

If it's good enough for Kojak, it's good enough for us. (SIREN BLARES)

(TYRES SCREECH)

(SIREN APPROACHING)

It's a bit quiet, isn't it?

Yeah, well, it's early yet.

Always something moving.

But here...nothing.

It's like everyone's moved to Mars.

No sign of life at all.

Yeah, there is! There!

Hey! Now, that's the kind of movement I like to see.

(CRASH, GLASS SHATTERS)

(SIREN BLARING)

(SIREN STOPS)

Hello? Hello? (RADIO STATIC)

(SNORES)

(WIND WHISTLING)

Anything?

Try west.

Steed! Over there, by the river. There's smoke.

Here you are. No new money, nothing traceable, and only negotiable securities.

What, burn all this? (LAUGHS) We're limited in weight. To a quarter of a ton.

That ought to be enough money for anyone. Yeah, but you can't... Burn it!

Aww, leave off.

Burn it.

Money to burn.

They're being very discriminating, very thorough.

So it's hardly likely they'd take it out on a coach.

(HELICOPTER APPROACHING)

Now we know how.

The heliport. Of course!

(SNORING)

(CLATTERS)

Aaah! Aaaaaah!

(THUD)

(HELICOPTER OVERHEAD)

Come on!

In there! OK!

You tell 'em I'm ready. Right!

Right. You all know the score.

As soon as we've gone, you disperse.

You get out of the area. You go home and you stay there.

Tina and I will go straight to Rio with the loot,

we'll split it up, and in three days' time,

you will acquire a numbered account in a Swiss bank.

And you'll be very rich, and we'll never meet again.

Right. But you try to stitch us up...

Why should he? There's enough for everyone.

More than enough. (LAUGHS)

Right. And thank you.

(LAUGHS) We did it! I promised you!

I thought I told you to stay...

Aaaah!

I wouldn't do that. Would you excuse me?

(STEED GROANS)

Just a little pressure at the right point.

Wish that was me up there. Up, away and clear. Yeah.

Don't worry, it'll be our turn next week.

BOTH: Just do as I say!

Gambit! Purdey!

Great minds... Think alike.

Now, all you've got to do, call the proper authorities,

tell them to stay outside the sleep perimeter... And arrest anything that moves.

They're here now, sir. MAN: 'Oh, good. See they get a warm welcome.'

I will give them a heroes' welcome, sir.

Oh, yes, sir. Absolutely, sir. Heroes' and heroine's welcome.

Welcome...

(YAWNING) Well, after all, Sunday is the day of rest...

Yes...

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