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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,399 Things are really starting 2 00:00:01,401 --> 00:00:02,801 to heat up on "The Guest Book," bruh. 3 00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:04,536 That stripper fell for some dude 4 00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,828 who was staying at the cabin, but he bailed on her. 5 00:00:06,834 --> 00:00:08,133 So now, she all pissed. 6 00:00:08,135 --> 00:00:09,799 And the doctor who lives next door, 7 00:00:09,805 --> 00:00:12,171 his wife brought a date with her to his house. 8 00:00:12,173 --> 00:00:14,039 So things aren't looking great for that marriage. 9 00:00:14,041 --> 00:00:15,989 And the people the stripper rented the cabin to 10 00:00:15,995 --> 00:00:17,843 broke the shitter, so the old dude is worried 11 00:00:17,845 --> 00:00:20,273 his wife might find out what he's been up to. 12 00:00:20,279 --> 00:00:21,545 Is there nudity? 13 00:00:21,551 --> 00:00:22,920 Partial. 14 00:00:45,423 --> 00:00:49,110 - Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 - - www.addic7ed.com - 15 00:00:50,645 --> 00:00:52,556 What a cool place! 16 00:00:52,681 --> 00:00:54,612 You have 63 VHS tapes, 17 00:00:54,659 --> 00:00:56,431 12 spoons, 11 forks. 18 00:00:56,437 --> 00:00:59,238 The kitchen has 21 cabinet doors and 2 curtains. 19 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:01,673 There's 16 chairs in the house and 2 stools. 20 00:01:01,675 --> 00:01:04,410 The deer antlers on the chandelier have 32 points. 21 00:01:04,412 --> 00:01:07,279 There are three peanut M&Ms under the couch cushions. 22 00:01:07,281 --> 00:01:10,048 I would have thrown them away, but I'm allergic to peanuts. 23 00:01:10,050 --> 00:01:13,252 There are 13 lamps, 71 frog figurines. 24 00:01:13,254 --> 00:01:16,189 There are 21 pieces of plastic food in the bowl in the kitchen. 25 00:01:16,195 --> 00:01:19,063 My name is Adam, and I love to count. 26 00:01:20,422 --> 00:01:23,056 7 hours, 23 minutes, and 18 seconds ago, 27 00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:26,034 I drove 84.6 miles to the mountains 28 00:01:26,036 --> 00:01:29,115 to stay in your lovely 781-square-foot cabin. 29 00:01:32,042 --> 00:01:34,480 Heel, two, heel. 30 00:01:38,606 --> 00:01:39,998 Mount Trace Rentals. 31 00:01:40,127 --> 00:01:42,927 Did you rent Froggy Cottage last weekend? 32 00:01:43,981 --> 00:01:45,207 Uh, no. 33 00:01:45,410 --> 00:01:46,488 Why? 34 00:01:46,490 --> 00:01:49,257 I think somebody busted in and broke the toilet. 35 00:01:49,259 --> 00:01:51,509 - I'm a call the police. - No, no, no. 36 00:01:51,515 --> 00:01:53,182 Hello? 37 00:01:55,962 --> 00:01:58,467 Hi. My name is Adam. 38 00:01:58,469 --> 00:02:00,926 I'm here to get the keys to Froggy Cottage. 39 00:02:00,932 --> 00:02:02,650 There might be a little delay with that. 40 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:04,222 - The toilet's broken. - No problem. 41 00:02:04,264 --> 00:02:07,215 As long as it's ready by 8. I planned a surprise date. 42 00:02:07,907 --> 00:02:08,985 Ooh. 43 00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:10,378 Mints. 44 00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:11,632 May I? 45 00:02:11,638 --> 00:02:14,005 - Knock yourself out. - Yeah? 46 00:02:18,248 --> 00:02:19,581 Did you say... 47 00:02:19,587 --> 00:02:21,153 A surprise date? 48 00:02:21,159 --> 00:02:22,358 I sure did. 49 00:02:22,482 --> 00:02:23,848 With a woman from work. 50 00:02:23,850 --> 00:02:25,183 Gillian. 51 00:02:25,185 --> 00:02:27,318 We both work at a sewing machine factory 52 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:28,909 in the accounts receivable department. 53 00:02:28,915 --> 00:02:32,086 Gillian has worked there for 134 and one-third days. 54 00:02:32,092 --> 00:02:34,626 She went home early one day with the flu. 55 00:02:39,399 --> 00:02:41,214 I hope there's no caffeine in that. 56 00:02:41,220 --> 00:02:43,081 I'm kidding, of course. 57 00:02:43,087 --> 00:02:45,655 What kind of coffee doesn't have caffeine in it? 58 00:02:45,661 --> 00:02:46,969 Decaf? 59 00:02:47,521 --> 00:02:49,631 Yeah, but the decaf 60 00:02:49,637 --> 00:02:51,655 pot has the orange handle, so... 61 00:02:54,968 --> 00:02:56,928 Stupid, stupid. 62 00:02:56,934 --> 00:02:58,834 You know where they keep the extra creamer? 63 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:00,155 All out, huh? 64 00:03:00,161 --> 00:03:03,346 That's strange. There were 18 packets in that bowl this morning. 65 00:03:03,352 --> 00:03:04,819 Maybe try the supply closet. 66 00:03:04,825 --> 00:03:06,024 Okay. 67 00:03:06,030 --> 00:03:07,329 Thanks, Adam. 68 00:03:09,863 --> 00:03:11,829 She knows my name. 69 00:03:16,971 --> 00:03:19,073 She's too young for you. 70 00:03:20,006 --> 00:03:21,842 Oh, how would you like if I said that 71 00:03:21,848 --> 00:03:23,788 about you and Adam Lambert? 72 00:03:24,224 --> 00:03:26,508 - I'd be hurt. - And don't forget, 73 00:03:26,514 --> 00:03:28,509 I do things to help keep me young. 74 00:03:28,525 --> 00:03:29,639 Like I... 75 00:03:29,645 --> 00:03:32,065 I watch reruns of "How I Met Your Mother," 76 00:03:32,071 --> 00:03:34,338 and I listen to popular music on the radio. 77 00:03:34,344 --> 00:03:35,743 Do you know what the fox says? 78 00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:37,491 I do. I know what the fox says. 79 00:03:37,497 --> 00:03:38,826 So, grow a sac 80 00:03:38,832 --> 00:03:40,758 - and ask her out already. - No. 81 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:42,285 I'm too scared. 82 00:03:42,983 --> 00:03:44,789 I need to figure out a way 83 00:03:44,795 --> 00:03:47,003 to force myself to do it. 84 00:03:47,934 --> 00:03:49,534 Okay, here's the deal. 85 00:03:49,536 --> 00:03:51,432 The next time she wears her 86 00:03:51,471 --> 00:03:53,814 blue sweater with her gray pants, 87 00:03:53,820 --> 00:03:56,036 I'll ask her out. And if I don't... 88 00:03:57,440 --> 00:03:59,317 If I don't, then I have to pull out 89 00:03:59,323 --> 00:04:01,491 all the hairs on both my legs 90 00:04:01,497 --> 00:04:02,889 from the knee down. 91 00:04:02,895 --> 00:04:04,509 And we all know how much it hurts 92 00:04:04,515 --> 00:04:06,987 if you accidentally pull off just one leg hair. 93 00:04:06,993 --> 00:04:09,326 So, if that's not an incentive to get something done, 94 00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:12,186 - I don't know what is. - Listen, I really gotta get going. 95 00:04:12,192 --> 00:04:14,249 Why don't you explore the town for a few hours 96 00:04:14,255 --> 00:04:16,383 - till the place gets ready? - Okay. 97 00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:18,229 So I went to a place called Chubbys. 98 00:04:18,231 --> 00:04:19,964 37 light bulbs. 99 00:04:19,966 --> 00:04:21,566 But back to Gillian. 100 00:04:21,568 --> 00:04:23,167 All I had to do was wait for her 101 00:04:23,169 --> 00:04:25,903 to wear the right outfit so I was forced to ask her out. 102 00:04:27,140 --> 00:04:28,427 Over the next few months, 103 00:04:28,433 --> 00:04:30,375 Gillian wore her blue sweater eight times, 104 00:04:30,377 --> 00:04:32,915 but always with red pants or a skirt. 105 00:04:36,431 --> 00:04:37,797 She wore the gray pants a lot, 106 00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:39,599 but never with the blue sweater. 107 00:04:39,601 --> 00:04:41,861 It was almost like she knew. 108 00:04:42,271 --> 00:04:45,237 Then, exactly 189 days 109 00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:47,334 after I made the bet with myself... 110 00:04:47,340 --> 00:04:48,973 - Excuse me. - It happened. 111 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:58,683 Blue sweater, gray pants. Blue sweater, gray pants! 112 00:05:06,495 --> 00:05:08,795 Go get your Adam Lambert. 113 00:05:09,254 --> 00:05:11,087 But as I rounded the corner, 114 00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:13,560 you could have knocked me over with a mouse fart. 115 00:05:16,822 --> 00:05:18,962 Well, what happened to your sweater? 116 00:05:19,074 --> 00:05:20,866 Oh, hi. What? 117 00:05:20,964 --> 00:05:23,364 You were wearing a blue sweater earlier. 118 00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:25,491 Oh. I spilled juice on it. 119 00:05:30,232 --> 00:05:32,404 So... 120 00:05:33,298 --> 00:05:34,565 I'm sorry. 121 00:05:34,677 --> 00:05:35,943 I was... 122 00:05:36,286 --> 00:05:37,478 W-wondering... 123 00:05:38,389 --> 00:05:40,413 If I could borrow your stapler. 124 00:05:41,272 --> 00:05:42,705 Mine got wet. 125 00:05:53,419 --> 00:05:55,629 Are you gonna start plucking that leg hair, 126 00:05:55,635 --> 00:05:57,833 - or do you need me to do it? - Oh, she wasn't wearing 127 00:05:57,839 --> 00:05:59,797 the sweater when I went over there. 128 00:05:59,926 --> 00:06:02,093 Was the deal that I made with myself 129 00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:04,256 to ask her out after she wore it 130 00:06:04,262 --> 00:06:06,262 or while she was wearing it? 131 00:06:06,268 --> 00:06:09,502 I guess you weren't real clear about that. 132 00:06:09,687 --> 00:06:12,821 Maybe you should just pull out the hair on one leg. 133 00:06:14,340 --> 00:06:15,973 Sounds fair. 134 00:06:22,203 --> 00:06:24,395 Oh. Your daughter's gonna love that. 135 00:06:25,530 --> 00:06:26,743 Ooh. 136 00:06:27,245 --> 00:06:28,745 Oh, I like it. 137 00:06:28,747 --> 00:06:30,246 It's really smooth. 138 00:06:30,820 --> 00:06:33,816 Like the inside of a baby's nose. 139 00:06:33,818 --> 00:06:35,718 Thanks. I like it, too. 140 00:06:35,838 --> 00:06:38,005 If I shut my eyes and cross my legs, 141 00:06:38,011 --> 00:06:40,408 it feels like I'm laying next to a girl. 142 00:06:41,259 --> 00:06:44,280 You're wasting your time with that love bullshit. 143 00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:46,056 Belie' that. 144 00:06:46,314 --> 00:06:48,360 You give 'em your heart. 145 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:51,674 You juggle their balls a little in the bathroom stall, 146 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:53,829 help them escape police custody, 147 00:06:53,962 --> 00:06:56,367 only to have them take their 148 00:06:56,373 --> 00:06:58,184 substantially wide pecker 149 00:06:58,190 --> 00:07:01,013 to Mexico without you. 150 00:07:01,019 --> 00:07:04,020 Don't mind her. She's down in the dumps. 151 00:07:04,082 --> 00:07:05,615 I still believe in love. 152 00:07:05,617 --> 00:07:06,883 Me, too. 153 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:09,596 I also believe in Jesus and ghosts. 154 00:07:09,602 --> 00:07:11,869 I used to believe in myself. 155 00:07:11,875 --> 00:07:14,350 Well, you're wasting your time 156 00:07:14,356 --> 00:07:17,260 with that love bullshit, belie' that. 157 00:07:17,269 --> 00:07:19,609 You give 'em your heart, 158 00:07:19,781 --> 00:07:21,820 you juggle their balls... 159 00:07:22,030 --> 00:07:23,129 Wait. 160 00:07:23,248 --> 00:07:25,915 Did I already say this, or did I think it? 161 00:07:26,137 --> 00:07:28,438 I'm... gonna go see if my cabin's ready. 162 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,966 Anyway, after I chickened out with Gillian, 163 00:07:30,972 --> 00:07:32,864 I started to worry that she might find someone else 164 00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:35,285 to be her boyfriend. Theo from accounts payable 165 00:07:35,291 --> 00:07:38,089 cut her a really nice corner of his birthday cake last week, 166 00:07:38,095 --> 00:07:40,496 and something told me it wasn't an accident. 167 00:07:40,498 --> 00:07:43,449 I hope this cake doesn't have any sugar in it. 168 00:07:45,333 --> 00:07:47,227 I'm... I'm kidding, of course. 169 00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:49,002 What kind of cake doesn't have sugar? 170 00:07:50,852 --> 00:07:53,480 I knew I needed to make a move, 171 00:07:53,486 --> 00:07:55,737 and it had to be something big. 172 00:07:58,025 --> 00:08:00,726 A surprise party for two? 173 00:08:00,732 --> 00:08:03,232 It's a grand romantic gesture. 174 00:08:03,246 --> 00:08:05,290 I'll rent one of these cabins up in the mountains, 175 00:08:05,296 --> 00:08:07,749 and I'll see Gillian an Evite for a "party" I'm having. 176 00:08:07,751 --> 00:08:09,917 I wrote down a bunch of made up e-mails, 177 00:08:09,919 --> 00:08:12,497 and I'll send them all Evites as well. 178 00:08:12,538 --> 00:08:16,007 SnickerdoodleLover4326389? 179 00:08:16,013 --> 00:08:18,615 Yeah, I just made a list of things I know about my mom, 180 00:08:18,621 --> 00:08:22,180 followed by some of my favorite numbers, like RedHair68253 181 00:08:22,186 --> 00:08:24,124 or NotAliveAnymore81309. 182 00:08:24,130 --> 00:08:26,730 Anyway, when Gillian gets the Evite, she'll think it's a real party, 183 00:08:26,736 --> 00:08:28,744 but when she gets up there... 184 00:08:28,750 --> 00:08:30,216 Surprise! 185 00:08:30,222 --> 00:08:32,044 It's our first date. 186 00:08:33,810 --> 00:08:35,343 So, that's pretty much the plan. 187 00:08:35,345 --> 00:08:38,004 I'm gonna make the cabin look really romantic with candles. 188 00:08:38,010 --> 00:08:39,476 I'm also gonna make her dinner. 189 00:08:39,482 --> 00:08:42,026 I brought a dessert. I read on the Facebook 190 00:08:42,032 --> 00:08:44,046 that her favorite food is Chinese and Italian. 191 00:08:44,052 --> 00:08:46,859 I brought a frozen pizza because I refuse to eat Chinese food. 192 00:08:46,865 --> 00:08:48,889 I don't like how it's all mixed together. 193 00:08:48,895 --> 00:08:50,749 How am I supposed to know how many peas I'm eating? 194 00:08:50,755 --> 00:08:52,529 At least pizza has the decency 195 00:08:52,564 --> 00:08:55,064 to put the pepperonis on top so you can count them. 196 00:08:55,066 --> 00:08:57,580 There's no sign of forced entry. 197 00:08:57,586 --> 00:08:59,988 Are you guys sure you didn't give the keys to anyone? 198 00:08:59,994 --> 00:09:01,193 I know I didn't. 199 00:09:01,364 --> 00:09:02,864 Well, I certainly haven't. 200 00:09:02,866 --> 00:09:06,263 - Who would I give the keys to? - Hey, Wilfrid. Can I check in yet? 201 00:09:06,269 --> 00:09:08,069 I want to take a shower before the big date. 202 00:09:08,071 --> 00:09:10,901 Yeah, as long as you don't mind that one of the toilets is broken. 203 00:09:10,907 --> 00:09:12,840 I don't mind. Wish me luck. 204 00:09:12,842 --> 00:09:15,078 On the Evite, she was a "maybe," so, 205 00:09:15,274 --> 00:09:16,633 fingers crossed. 206 00:09:17,652 --> 00:09:20,448 Hey. How did things go with your wife visiting? 207 00:09:20,450 --> 00:09:21,916 Oh, yeah. 208 00:09:21,918 --> 00:09:23,096 Not good. 209 00:09:23,174 --> 00:09:24,515 She brought a date. 210 00:09:24,521 --> 00:09:26,654 - So sorry to hear that. - Yeah. 211 00:09:30,527 --> 00:09:33,314 So, anyway, thanks for letting me use your cabin. 212 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,854 Hopefully, Gillian and I will be returning once a year 213 00:09:35,856 --> 00:09:38,382 to celebrate the anniversary of our first date. 214 00:09:38,388 --> 00:09:40,260 In love, Adam. 215 00:09:44,797 --> 00:09:45,951 P.S. ... 216 00:09:45,957 --> 00:09:49,591 You'll never guess what happened when I opened the door. 217 00:09:50,702 --> 00:09:52,235 So there I was, 218 00:09:52,241 --> 00:09:54,636 all ready to surprise Gillian with our date. 219 00:09:58,187 --> 00:09:59,257 Hey. 220 00:09:59,452 --> 00:10:00,641 Hey. 221 00:10:01,319 --> 00:10:03,319 Oh, you know Theo, right? 222 00:10:03,321 --> 00:10:04,920 Of course. 223 00:10:04,922 --> 00:10:06,451 Accounts payable. 224 00:10:06,457 --> 00:10:09,441 - You had a birthday the other day. - Yep, and a cake... 225 00:10:09,447 --> 00:10:12,318 With sugar. Actually, maybe too much. 226 00:10:12,324 --> 00:10:14,403 I went back for seconds, and it was all gone. 227 00:10:14,409 --> 00:10:17,500 Maybe if you didn't cut such big slices for some people. 228 00:10:17,506 --> 00:10:19,769 So, a-a-are you guys dating? 229 00:10:19,771 --> 00:10:21,170 - Oh, no. - No. 230 00:10:21,172 --> 00:10:22,371 We're just friends. 231 00:10:22,373 --> 00:10:23,972 Yeah, it was such a long ride. 232 00:10:23,978 --> 00:10:26,332 So I figured I'd ask Theo to join me. 233 00:10:26,338 --> 00:10:28,739 That's great to hear... 234 00:10:28,745 --> 00:10:30,934 That you're... you're being so smart 235 00:10:30,940 --> 00:10:32,712 about the long ride. 236 00:10:32,731 --> 00:10:34,813 Way to use the old noodle. 237 00:10:34,819 --> 00:10:36,411 When it's just me in the house, 238 00:10:36,417 --> 00:10:38,333 I try not to waste electricity. 239 00:10:38,339 --> 00:10:40,341 - I wasn't... - expecting... 240 00:10:40,347 --> 00:10:42,485 people... This early. 241 00:10:42,491 --> 00:10:44,593 I'm sorry. The Evite said 8. 242 00:10:44,595 --> 00:10:46,662 Yeah. I just kind of... 243 00:10:46,664 --> 00:10:48,729 - put that on there. - The truth is... 244 00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:50,410 the crew I usually hang with... 245 00:10:50,416 --> 00:10:53,202 - doesn't get started... - until much later. 246 00:10:54,222 --> 00:10:57,556 Well, as long as we're here, do you need help setting up? 247 00:10:57,562 --> 00:11:00,387 No, that's okay. I was just heading out 248 00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:02,225 to get ready to go buy some beer. 249 00:11:02,231 --> 00:11:03,389 You guys just, uh, 250 00:11:03,514 --> 00:11:05,163 make yourself at home. 251 00:11:06,252 --> 00:11:07,451 Guys! 252 00:11:07,453 --> 00:11:09,119 Guys, she brought someone with her. 253 00:11:09,121 --> 00:11:10,587 I have to throw a real party. 254 00:11:10,589 --> 00:11:12,222 Do you know this guy? 255 00:11:12,224 --> 00:11:14,280 Ish. I know him -ish. 256 00:11:14,459 --> 00:11:16,025 Can you please come over? 257 00:11:16,031 --> 00:11:18,225 I have to make it look like I'm throwing a real party. 258 00:11:18,231 --> 00:11:20,100 Uh... I guess so. 259 00:11:20,102 --> 00:11:22,193 I gotta call my son first, wish him good night. 260 00:11:22,199 --> 00:11:24,865 Perfect. I'm gonna go get alcoholic beer. 261 00:11:24,871 --> 00:11:27,656 And then head into town to try to round up some more party guests. 262 00:11:27,662 --> 00:11:30,119 Say, hey... do... do you want to go to a party? 263 00:11:30,125 --> 00:11:32,638 - I'm working. - Well, what if I order a bunch of food? 264 00:11:32,644 --> 00:11:35,480 Will you just stick around a-a-and act like we're friends? 265 00:11:36,753 --> 00:11:38,987 I'm not comfortable with saying we're friends. 266 00:11:39,006 --> 00:11:41,439 But you could tell people I used to date your sister, 267 00:11:41,441 --> 00:11:43,689 and I'm still hung up on her, so I'm hanging out with you 268 00:11:43,695 --> 00:11:46,156 as a way to try to get her to take me back. 269 00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:48,246 Deal. 270 00:11:48,248 --> 00:11:50,915 Hey, just curious... 271 00:11:50,917 --> 00:11:53,585 Wh-why couldn't we just be friends? 272 00:11:53,587 --> 00:11:55,020 I just don't see it. 273 00:11:56,217 --> 00:11:57,334 Okay. 274 00:11:58,700 --> 00:12:01,868 Anyway, it's Froggy Cottage, and it should be a really fun party. 275 00:12:01,874 --> 00:12:03,907 I invited a bunch of people I met in town, 276 00:12:03,909 --> 00:12:06,043 and the guy next door might show up. 277 00:12:06,045 --> 00:12:07,343 Dr. Brown? 278 00:12:07,349 --> 00:12:09,876 - I don't know his profession. - Tall, really handsome, 279 00:12:09,882 --> 00:12:11,682 looks like he could lift you onto a dresser? 280 00:12:11,953 --> 00:12:13,283 Yeah, that's him. 281 00:12:13,285 --> 00:12:15,332 Maybe I'll stop by after my shift. 282 00:12:16,789 --> 00:12:18,575 - Slow down, okay? - Will do. 283 00:12:18,581 --> 00:12:21,482 I'm sorry. Sometimes I count the numbers on the speedometer 284 00:12:21,484 --> 00:12:24,740 when they're going up, and I don't want them to stop. 285 00:12:28,653 --> 00:12:30,019 Oh, hey. 286 00:12:30,025 --> 00:12:32,517 I hope you don't mind, we cooked the pizza. 287 00:12:32,836 --> 00:12:34,542 No. Not at all. 288 00:12:34,548 --> 00:12:36,180 That's what it's there for. 289 00:12:36,186 --> 00:12:38,347 Although save some room for Chinese. 290 00:12:38,353 --> 00:12:39,981 Do you like Chinese food? 291 00:12:39,987 --> 00:12:42,193 - Are you kidding? I love it! - Huh. 292 00:12:42,423 --> 00:12:43,675 Me, too. 293 00:12:43,848 --> 00:12:45,082 Twinsies. 294 00:12:47,813 --> 00:12:49,346 As it turns out, 295 00:12:49,348 --> 00:12:51,413 this little mountain town is super friendly. 296 00:12:51,419 --> 00:12:53,571 And once they heard I needed help, they were more than happy 297 00:12:53,577 --> 00:12:55,054 to come to my fake party. 298 00:12:55,056 --> 00:12:57,153 Hey, I hope it's okay that we brought a few friends. 299 00:12:57,159 --> 00:12:59,038 - They heard there'd be free beer. - Oh, yeah. 300 00:12:59,044 --> 00:13:02,059 The more, the merrier. There's 149 beers left. 301 00:13:02,798 --> 00:13:03,956 Hey. 302 00:13:08,579 --> 00:13:11,894 Hey, look... that old dude we're blackmailing is here. 303 00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:13,528 He's with his wife, all right. 304 00:13:13,534 --> 00:13:15,434 - Maybe we should leave? - Hey. 305 00:13:15,536 --> 00:13:16,929 Let's have some fun. 306 00:13:18,785 --> 00:13:21,096 Hey, look, it's my sister's ex-boyfriend. 307 00:13:21,102 --> 00:13:22,941 He brought food. 308 00:13:22,947 --> 00:13:24,989 Before I knew it, I was throwing a real party. 309 00:13:24,991 --> 00:13:27,525 ♪ Seal goes ow, ow, ow ♪ 310 00:13:27,527 --> 00:13:29,026 ♪ But there's a sound ♪ 311 00:13:29,028 --> 00:13:31,534 ♪ That no one knows ♪ 312 00:13:32,732 --> 00:13:34,342 ♪ What does the fox say ♪ 313 00:13:34,348 --> 00:13:36,367 ♪ Ring-ding-ding-ding dingeringeding ♪ 314 00:13:36,369 --> 00:13:38,136 ♪ Ring-ding-ding-ding dingeringeding ♪ 315 00:13:38,138 --> 00:13:40,204 ♪ Ring-ding-ding-ding dingeringeding ♪ 316 00:13:40,206 --> 00:13:42,006 ♪ What the fox say ♪ 317 00:13:42,008 --> 00:13:44,008 ♪ Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow ♪ 318 00:13:44,010 --> 00:13:45,710 ♪ Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow ♪ 319 00:13:45,712 --> 00:13:47,845 ♪ Wa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pow ♪ 320 00:13:47,847 --> 00:13:49,379 ♪ What the fox say ♪ 321 00:13:49,385 --> 00:13:51,178 ♪ Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho ♪ 322 00:13:51,184 --> 00:13:53,050 ♪ Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho ♪ 323 00:13:53,052 --> 00:13:55,019 ♪ Hatee-hatee-hatee-ho ♪ 324 00:13:55,021 --> 00:13:56,854 ♪ What the fox say ♪ 325 00:13:56,856 --> 00:13:58,890 ♪ Joff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo tchoff ♪ 326 00:13:58,892 --> 00:14:00,825 ♪ Joff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo tchoff ♪ 327 00:14:00,827 --> 00:14:02,794 ♪ Joff-tchoff-tchoffo-tchoffo ♪ 328 00:14:02,796 --> 00:14:04,762 ♪ What the fox say ♪ 329 00:14:11,669 --> 00:14:12,968 Hey, Adam. 330 00:14:12,974 --> 00:14:15,469 This is a really cool place. 331 00:14:16,075 --> 00:14:18,382 - What happened to your food? - I spilled it. 332 00:14:18,655 --> 00:14:21,422 And then I was cleaning it up, and, 333 00:14:21,428 --> 00:14:24,863 wow, I didn't even realize I was putting it into these piles. 334 00:14:25,518 --> 00:14:28,319 I guess you could take the accountant out of the office, 335 00:14:28,321 --> 00:14:30,341 but you can't take the counting out of the accountant. 336 00:14:31,770 --> 00:14:33,806 Do you like Kung Pao chicken? 337 00:14:33,812 --> 00:14:35,718 I love it. If it's Chinese, I love it. 338 00:14:35,724 --> 00:14:37,191 I love Chinese food. 339 00:14:37,197 --> 00:14:39,597 You know, you... you and I, we share that in common. 340 00:14:40,667 --> 00:14:42,300 We were sharing chopsticks. 341 00:14:42,302 --> 00:14:45,051 That's like one step away from kissing. 342 00:14:45,090 --> 00:14:48,147 If she has a mouth disease, now we both have it. 343 00:14:48,153 --> 00:14:50,020 So good. 344 00:14:53,805 --> 00:14:57,079 There aren't any peanuts in there, are... are there? 345 00:14:57,790 --> 00:14:59,089 Oh. 346 00:14:59,185 --> 00:15:00,718 Oh, you're kidding, right? 347 00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:04,004 Okay... what kind of Kung Pao doesn't have peanuts? 348 00:15:04,010 --> 00:15:06,731 I'm beginning to get your humor, Adam. 349 00:15:06,737 --> 00:15:08,693 Yeah, well, you know, my mother always said, 350 00:15:08,695 --> 00:15:11,791 "Adam, humor is the bedrock of any relationship." 351 00:15:11,797 --> 00:15:13,330 Ha. 352 00:15:13,785 --> 00:15:16,780 And stay away from peanuts, because you're allergic. 353 00:15:21,702 --> 00:15:23,715 Hey. Do you have recycling... 354 00:15:24,438 --> 00:15:26,271 Holy shit, what happened to your face? 355 00:15:26,277 --> 00:15:27,944 Peanuts. I ate peanuts, 356 00:15:27,984 --> 00:15:29,908 - and I'm allergic. - All right, we need 357 00:15:29,914 --> 00:15:31,177 to get you to the hospital, pronto. 358 00:15:31,183 --> 00:15:32,352 No, no, no, no, don't say anything. 359 00:15:32,358 --> 00:15:33,903 It will ruin everything with Gillian. 360 00:15:33,909 --> 00:15:36,924 Okay, I'm breathing okay, and... 361 00:15:36,926 --> 00:15:38,792 the... the itching is getting better, okay? 362 00:15:38,794 --> 00:15:40,494 I'm fine. Please, don't say anything. 363 00:15:40,496 --> 00:15:42,828 This may be my only chance at love, please. 364 00:15:42,834 --> 00:15:45,706 Okay. Okay, settle down. Maybe you're not anaphylactic, 365 00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:48,101 but I'd feel better if we could get an epinephrine injection in you. 366 00:15:48,103 --> 00:15:49,837 - I'm gonna run to the hospital. - Okay. 367 00:15:49,839 --> 00:15:52,039 If you start to have trouble breathing, you call 9-1-1. 368 00:15:52,041 --> 00:15:53,955 - Okay, I'm fine. - Okay? 369 00:15:53,961 --> 00:15:56,232 I'm fine. 370 00:15:57,852 --> 00:16:00,247 Hey, would you mind giving me a ride somewhere real quick? 371 00:16:00,249 --> 00:16:02,650 - Like, with sirens and everything? - I'd love to! 372 00:16:02,656 --> 00:16:04,322 If go real fast around the turns, 373 00:16:04,328 --> 00:16:06,449 you might have to hold onto my thigh for safety. 374 00:16:06,455 --> 00:16:09,323 It's called Chubbys Bikini Bar. 375 00:16:09,325 --> 00:16:11,274 Okay, I know that place. 376 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:13,675 I pass it on my way to dialysis. 377 00:16:13,681 --> 00:16:16,281 What exactly goes on in there? 378 00:16:16,287 --> 00:16:18,008 You know, sometimes a pervert 379 00:16:18,014 --> 00:16:20,033 tries to lure us into the storage room, 380 00:16:20,035 --> 00:16:21,702 but mostly, we just dance. 381 00:16:21,704 --> 00:16:23,971 I just started dancing myself. 382 00:16:23,973 --> 00:16:25,711 My husband and I are practicing 383 00:16:25,717 --> 00:16:27,403 so we can go line dancing. 384 00:16:27,409 --> 00:16:29,076 That's my husband over there. 385 00:16:29,078 --> 00:16:30,978 Wilfrid, this is Vivian. 386 00:16:30,980 --> 00:16:33,853 Oh, hello. Nice to, uh, meet you, Vivian. 387 00:16:35,313 --> 00:16:37,200 I'm so sorry about this. 388 00:16:37,206 --> 00:16:39,342 Yeah. Yeah, whatever. 389 00:16:40,222 --> 00:16:42,022 Your shoelace is untied. 390 00:16:42,024 --> 00:16:45,150 So, why do they call it Chubbys? 391 00:16:45,156 --> 00:16:47,553 A chubby is what some people call 392 00:16:47,559 --> 00:16:49,863 a fella's wiener when it's half hard. 393 00:16:49,865 --> 00:16:51,015 Really? 394 00:16:51,021 --> 00:16:53,794 Damn, they got a name for everything, don't they? 395 00:16:54,106 --> 00:16:57,270 My granddaughter just taught me what a queef was. 396 00:16:57,743 --> 00:16:59,126 What's a queef? 397 00:17:01,051 --> 00:17:02,392 Pussy fart. 398 00:17:04,013 --> 00:17:05,898 Thanks again for coming with me. 399 00:17:05,904 --> 00:17:07,960 I had no idea what to expect. 400 00:17:07,966 --> 00:17:11,162 Adam didn't strike me as the type of guy to throw a crazy party. 401 00:17:11,366 --> 00:17:13,032 - He's kind of old. - I know. 402 00:17:13,038 --> 00:17:15,654 He kind of reminds me of my uncle Lou, always trying to act 403 00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:18,234 - younger than he is. - Yeah, well, I'm sure we'll be 404 00:17:18,240 --> 00:17:19,830 the same way when we're his age. 405 00:17:19,836 --> 00:17:21,728 Plus, Adam is just super sweet. 406 00:17:21,730 --> 00:17:23,322 That's why I had to come. 407 00:17:23,328 --> 00:17:25,052 I'm just glad we're becoming friends. 408 00:17:25,058 --> 00:17:26,199 He's a good guy. 409 00:17:26,201 --> 00:17:29,067 Listen, I know earlier you said this isn't a date, 410 00:17:29,073 --> 00:17:31,275 and I didn't think it was, either. But 411 00:17:31,478 --> 00:17:33,439 would you want to go out some time? 412 00:17:34,043 --> 00:17:36,409 I'd love to. 413 00:17:37,146 --> 00:17:39,713 You know, Adam is gonna love it when he finds out 414 00:17:39,715 --> 00:17:42,694 that his party is the reason that you and I got together. 415 00:17:58,601 --> 00:17:59,994 Oh, my God. 416 00:18:00,436 --> 00:18:01,715 Oh, Jeez! 417 00:18:01,802 --> 00:18:03,235 Adam! 418 00:18:03,276 --> 00:18:04,477 Oh! 419 00:18:13,498 --> 00:18:14,681 Hey, guys. 420 00:18:14,687 --> 00:18:16,086 - Hey. - Hey. 421 00:18:16,092 --> 00:18:18,284 Hi. Hi. 422 00:18:18,396 --> 00:18:19,448 Thanks for coming. 423 00:18:19,454 --> 00:18:21,767 Before long, I was breathing normally again. 424 00:18:21,773 --> 00:18:23,864 And after a few more hours of fun, 425 00:18:24,060 --> 00:18:25,337 the party was over. 426 00:18:26,929 --> 00:18:28,529 Thanks for coming, friends. 427 00:18:28,947 --> 00:18:31,588 I'll see you later, Eddie. Good luck with my sister. 428 00:18:32,142 --> 00:18:34,002 Bye. 429 00:18:34,008 --> 00:18:35,627 - Thanks. - Bye. 430 00:18:35,633 --> 00:18:37,500 - Thanks, Adam. - Bye, Theo. 431 00:18:38,377 --> 00:18:39,810 I'll see you guys at work in 432 00:18:39,816 --> 00:18:41,886 31 hours and 17 minutes. 433 00:18:42,005 --> 00:18:43,437 Okay. 434 00:18:53,753 --> 00:18:56,754 As far as my love life goes, the night was a bust. 435 00:18:56,904 --> 00:18:59,772 But I did make some new friends, and I'm alive. 436 00:18:59,774 --> 00:19:01,797 So, I guess it wasn't a total loss. 437 00:19:01,803 --> 00:19:03,269 Your tenant, Adam. 438 00:19:03,644 --> 00:19:06,145 P.P.S. ... you've got a serious insect problem 439 00:19:06,147 --> 00:19:08,844 inside your kitchen cupboard. There were too many to count. 440 00:19:20,636 --> 00:19:22,202 Who is it? 441 00:19:22,707 --> 00:19:23,937 It's Abby. 442 00:19:23,939 --> 00:19:25,940 I'm here for the party. 443 00:19:26,609 --> 00:19:27,794 Hi. 444 00:19:27,876 --> 00:19:29,142 I know I'm kind of late. 445 00:19:29,278 --> 00:19:31,345 I got an Evite about a week ago. 446 00:19:31,347 --> 00:19:32,680 I thought it might be a mistake, 447 00:19:32,682 --> 00:19:34,315 but my e-mail address is so strange, 448 00:19:34,317 --> 00:19:35,716 I don't know how that could happen. 449 00:19:35,722 --> 00:19:38,218 SnickerdoodleLover4326389. 450 00:19:38,368 --> 00:19:40,744 The number signifies how many snickerdoodle cookies 451 00:19:40,750 --> 00:19:43,238 I think it would take to ease tensions in the Middle East. 452 00:19:43,406 --> 00:19:45,973 Anyway, I was sitting at home tonight, doing nothing, 453 00:19:45,975 --> 00:19:48,109 as always, and I thought, "What the heck?" 454 00:19:48,111 --> 00:19:49,977 "Maybe I should go to that party." 455 00:19:49,979 --> 00:19:52,847 But I just couldn't muster up the nerve to walk to my car. 456 00:19:52,849 --> 00:19:55,650 So, I made a deal with myself that if I saw a commercial 457 00:19:55,652 --> 00:19:57,251 for that egg-shaped cheese grater thing 458 00:19:57,253 --> 00:19:59,286 that you use to get the dead skin off your feet, 459 00:19:59,288 --> 00:20:02,174 that would be a sign I should get in my car and go. 460 00:20:02,180 --> 00:20:04,792 And wouldn't you know, halfway through "How I Met Your Mother," 461 00:20:04,794 --> 00:20:06,065 there it was... 462 00:20:06,071 --> 00:20:08,038 That silly foot egg. 463 00:20:08,044 --> 00:20:09,190 So... 464 00:20:09,424 --> 00:20:10,854 Here I am. 465 00:20:12,947 --> 00:20:14,380 Party's over. 466 00:20:17,623 --> 00:20:18,955 What a weirdo. 467 00:20:18,961 --> 00:20:21,373 ♪ Show me the best that you got ♪ 468 00:20:21,379 --> 00:20:23,987 ♪ And I'll show you one better ♪ 469 00:20:26,398 --> 00:20:28,532 ♪ Tell me a dirty joke ♪ 470 00:20:28,534 --> 00:20:31,505 ♪ And I'll laugh it off lightly ♪ 471 00:20:33,071 --> 00:20:35,739 ♪ If I tell you a dirty joke ♪ 472 00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:38,614 ♪ You might not like me ♪ 473 00:20:40,846 --> 00:20:45,269 ♪ Everyone gets to make one big mistake ♪ 474 00:20:47,619 --> 00:20:49,386 ♪ And if you're waiting on me ♪ 475 00:20:49,388 --> 00:20:52,989 ♪ Well, I guess you gonna have to wait ♪ 476 00:20:58,263 --> 00:20:59,751 Tommy! 477 00:20:59,948 --> 00:21:01,827 Oh, baby, look! 478 00:21:01,833 --> 00:21:03,842 Look at these cabins they got up here. 479 00:21:03,848 --> 00:21:05,314 Honey, we should rent one. 480 00:21:05,320 --> 00:21:07,017 I don't want to sleep in the El Camino. 481 00:21:07,023 --> 00:21:09,070 I don't have a lot of cash. 482 00:21:09,076 --> 00:21:11,032 We don't need cash, baby. 483 00:21:11,038 --> 00:21:13,275 I still got all these stolen credit cards, okay? 484 00:21:13,281 --> 00:21:16,249 You gotta do it, though, 'cause they all got boys names on them. 485 00:21:16,255 --> 00:21:18,184 I'll meet you in the car, okay? 486 00:21:18,190 --> 00:21:20,461 Uh, but I already got two strikes. 487 00:21:20,467 --> 00:21:22,033 Don't be a pussy. 488 00:21:23,541 --> 00:21:28,003 ♪ Everyone gets to make one big mistake ♪ 489 00:21:29,164 --> 00:21:32,594 - Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 - - www.addic7ed.com - 35579

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