Original subtitles

Hey, bruh? That show I told you

about is on again tonight.

The stripper who was blackmailing the old man

already made him give her the keys to Froggy Cottage once,

but now she's trying to do it again.

Plus, the cute little policewoman and the doctor

are finally going to go on a date.

But I get the feeling that's not gonna happen this week.

If you want, I think you can catch up

on the episodes online at tbs.com.

Yeah, I'll try.

Don't really know how to do that stuff.

[PLASTIC CRINKLES] Bro, we work at a computer store.

Hmm?

♪ Wherever we go ♪

♪ That's fine by me ♪

♪ We'll settle our bones ♪

♪ Eventually ♪

♪ Yeah, I need a break, I need a minute ♪

♪ Just give me one day ♪

♪ Let's get, get, get away ♪

- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 - - www.addic7ed.com -

Hello. My name is Dr. Laurie Gallif,

and today I will be presenting

the results of my recent study.

It all started with my trip to Germany,

where I was lucky enough to visit a facility

for Alzheimer's patients

that is experimenting in

a new way to treat dementia.

Rather than forcing patients

to accept their current situation,

they encourage them

to revisit the past.

The patients live in housing units

resembling the 1950s,

1960s, whatever time period

the patients are most comfortable in.

And in doing so, these patients

are living better lives.

And in some cases, they are even regaining

some sense of who they once were.

With this in mind, my goal was to create

my own small-scale version,

hoping that, with success,

our facility would fund similar

programs in the future.

So, without further ado,

I would like to introduce you

to Mr. Edgar Barns.

ALL: Aw!

LAURIE: Suffering from advanced Alzheimer's

and having no family to speak of,

Mr. Barns was a mystery.

I emptied his storage unit, hoping to find clues

on how to create the ideal environment for him.

As I thumbed through his photo album,

I found the perfect blueprint to recreate

the world he used to live in.

[BASEBALL THUDS]

I searched online

and found a cabin in the mountains

that was a pretty good match for Edgar's old house.

Then I borrowed a friend's classic pickup truck

that looked close enough to

the one Edgar used to have.

At least, it did after I took off the Truck Nutz.

I even bought a few vintage outfits

to make everything feel authentic.

And just to be safe, I hired a nurse

to come along with us.

I look like Steve Harvey's grandfather.

Oh, no. Edgar,

I think Darnell was going to drive.

I'm just warming the car up

while Beatrice gets ready for church.

Beatrice must be his wife.

Oh, my God.

This is working.

♪

[STARTS TRUCK]

♪

So, Edgar, this sure is a nice truck you have.

Did you drive to work in this truck?

Do you remember what you did for a living?

How about the city you grew up in?

Any idea?

- [BRAKES SCREECH] - Oh.

This is gonna be a long weekend.

[TURNS OFF ENGINE]

♪

Anybody else answer our ad

to rent the old guy's cabins?

Nothing yet.

But I am glad I stole his laptop.

I found a website where you can talk to women

who want to cheat on their husbands.

She kinda looks like that girl that's on "Who's the Boss?"

I wonder if it is her.

I'll see if the Internet knows if she's married.

Just don't jizz up the keyboard.

Okay? We need that computer.

She's married.

Holy shit.

I'm gonna bang...

Ali-sa-sa Me-lay-no.

Hit that shit, brother.

♪

EMMA: I hope I never lose my mind.

I think Wilfrid's starting to lose his, though.

Oh, I'm fine.

Then why did it take you two hours this morning

to buy light bulbs?

I like to stop and smell the roses.

[CELLPHONE RINGS]

Hey, Mom.

Oh, nothing much.

Just watching a black guy in a zoot suit

force an elderly white man into an old pickup.

Couple months ago, I'd already have my taser out, but...

Well, you watch the news.

♪

[DOOR CREAKS]

It's a good thing I chased down this baseball.

It's signed by Jackie Robinson.

Home.

Yes!

Yes, Edgar. You're home.

♪

Beatrice?

I think he thinks you're his wife.

Uh, yes, Edgar?

- Can I help you with something? - What's Willie doing here?

- Who? - Willie the handyman.

Oh! He is

- here to fix the... - Stove.

I-I was fixing the stove.

On... On my way to a jazz show.

At the speakeasy?

That's very nice, Willie.

We'll be sure and call you again

next time something else gets broken.

I'll show you out.

[DOOR CLOSES]

I can't believe it. This couldn't be going any better.

Yeah, for you. You get to stay in the house, Beatrice.

Where the hell is Willie the handyman supposed to sleep?

How about in the truck?

What? It's in the garage. That's kinda like a bedroom.

I'll pay you double.

All right, fine. As long as we're doing this,

I hope you have to sleep in the same bed with him.

[SCOFFS]

I'm not going to sleep

in the same bed with him.

LAURIE: Of course, I was going

to sleep in the same bed with him.

If I was going to do this,

I had to do it right.

Good night, Edgar.

♪

- Oh! Oh! - Stick it in.

You do it better. I get lost down there.

Oh, no, no, no, no.

I'm on my period.

Ugh! If you've got the rag on,

you shouldn't be parading around the house

with your knees showing,

you cock-tease.

And if I've told you once,

I've told you a thousand times,

I don't want Willie in this house.

There's plenty of white men you could've hired

to fix that stove.

I don't need some jigaboo

traipsing his black ass through my house.

Good night.

Good night.

Some people might get discouraged when the sweet old man

they're trying to help turns out to be a horrible person.

But, scientifically speaking,

the fact that he remembered

he was a racist asshole was a major victory.

And let's be honest...

White men over 80 are like lotto tickets.

9 times out of 10, you're not gonna like what you see

after you scratch the surface.

Ahh. Jesus, Bea.

Could these strips of bacon be thinner?

I'm over here squinting like a Chinaman

just to see 'em on the plate.

Oh, I'm sorry. I'll make some more.

Oh, Edgar?

If someone wanted to mail us a letter,

where should they send it?

4236 Elmwood Lane,

Goose Creek, South Carolina.

[INHALES AND EXHALES DEEPLY]

- [CLICKS BUTTON] - Subject remembers his address.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

- [DOOR CREAKS] - Good morning.

I'm here to fix the shower.

Look, things are going great,

and I don't want anything to mess that up,

so maybe you shouldn't come in the house.

- What am I supposed to do? - I don't know.

- Go explore the town. - Edgar: Beatrice!

Oh. Coming!

Wh...

[HANGERS SCRAPE]

Looking for something, honey?

My white suit. I need it for Sunday.

Where is it? I always keep it right here.

Oh. You know what?

I washed it, and it accidentally shrank.

Goddamn it!

If you can't hold a baby longer than six weeks,

at least be good at laundry!

I guess I gotta make another one.

You know how to sew your own suit?

Of course I do.

I'm a tailor.

It's my job.

Good God.

First you forget our address,

then you forget my profession.

Women. [SCOFFS] I still can't believe

we gave you ditzy split-tails the right to vote.

♪

- [CLICK] - He remembered he's a tailor.

♪

Excuse me, sir? Hey, you know how to...

Upload a picture on the Internet?

Yeah, I think so.

Oh, sweet.

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

- Is that your dick? - Yeah.

Why is there a Matchbox car next to your dick?

For scale.

Here you go.

Mmm.

That's a good-looking dick right there.

[SEWING MACHINE WHIRRING]

- [CLICK] - The subject is progressing nicely.

Not only does he remember his name,

address, spouse, and profession,

but he's also exhibiting some...

Personality traits

that were dormant due to the dementia.

Obviously, the more successful this experiment is,

the more funding our facility can earmark

toward future weekends away with other patients.

These types of successes are...

[RECORDER CLATTERS]

Edgar? Edgar?!

Where are you going?!

Sunday meeting. Lots of stuff to plan.

Uh... Hi.

I'm a doctor, too.

Advanced Alzheimer's.

We're trying a new therapy.

Well, good luck with that.

Edgar! Edgar! They canceled the meeting.

- They called while you were sewing. - Really? Who called?

- Clem? - Clem Wilkerson?

The treasurer called our house?

Why'd they cancel the meeting?

Um...

He said something about the...

Cheap Jew...

That owns the meeting hall

trying to save a buck and double-booking it

to a bunch of dirty Catholics,

and they don't think...

The lazy Mexicans

are going to be able to clean it up in time.

Makes sense.

♪

You gotta be shitting me!

[THUD]

- [FRONT DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] - You want to tell me

why the Grand Wizard of the KKK

- just waltzed his ass into this house? - That was Edgar.

And I'm sure he wasn't the Grand Wizard.

He was very impressed when the treasurer called, for Chrissake.

Look, as it turns out,

Edgar used to be a little racist.

EDGAR: Beatrice, If you're through bleeding

all over my clean floor,

could you drag your dumb ass in here?

And also a little misogynistic.

Excuse me for a second.

- Yes? - I need you to run to the store for me,

pick up some supplies.

♪

Sure thing.

- What now? - He wanted me to go to the store

to buy him a few things he needs...

To burn down a church.

This is a story about a porn star.

Oh, no, you gotta turn the page.

Obviously, things had taken a turn for the worse.

But if you just look at the experiment

and not the awful person we were dealing with,

things couldn't have been going better.

This dude's got detailed plans to burn down

some Methodist church on Carter Lane.

We're not gonna let him do it!

Look, we just have to get through this weekend

with enough evidence to prove

that the therapy is working.

Think of all the people we can help.

- Black people. - Don't do that.

Wait a second.

What if he's already burned down this church?

I mean, you said he's been remembering stuff, right?

- I seriously doubt... - I'm-a Google this shit.

♪

Hey.

I don't normally do that, so

you'd better catch that rat.

FRANK: I don't know what you're talking about.

That's bullshit! That's my computer.

You stole my computer.

Look, I got my Rick Santorum sticker on it.

What the hell is going on here?

This idiot stole my computer

and went on my online dating membership

to try to sleep with a married woman.

And he sent his address

with a picture of his dick next to a little car.

You used his account?

Yeah. Memberships cost a couple hundred bucks,

and his information was already on there.

Can I at least get the info of that married woman?

The woman was me.

How do you think I found you?

I got an e-mail saying someone was using my account,

so I created a fake woman to set a trap for you.

You're such a idiot.

- [MOUSETRAP SNAPS] - [GRUNTS]

I used Alyssa Milano's picture, for Chrissake.

That wasn't really her?

Oh, that's a bummer.

If I didn't have a pregnant wife

that can't find out I'm having affairs online,

I'd call the cops. Consider yourself lucky.

♪

Well, all things considered,

that didn't turn out half bad.

[SMACK]

[THUD]

[GAGS]

That computer was the only way

to place ads to rent those cabins!

Now I have to use the one at the library,

- and I hate the library! - Sorry.

- Uhh! - [TELEPHONE RINGS]

[VIVIAN GRUNTS, FRANK CHOKES]

Chubbys. We won't tell if you don't.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

Okay. Uh... yeah.

Let me ask her.

Hey, someone's on the phone

about renting a cabin.

♪

I'll be right there.

- [SLAP] - [GRUNTS, PANTING]

Go tell the old guy we need the keys.

♪

[PLEASANTLY] Hello?

Got it.

"June 15, 1958.

"The Methodist Church on Carter Lane

"in Goose Creek, South Carolina,

"was burned in what was suspected to be an act of arson.

"Witnesses claim to have seen

"a pickup truck leaving the scene,

"but according to District Attorney Clem Wilkerson,

"no suspects were ever questioned."

Oh, my God.

"The fire occurred in the middle of the night

"while the church was empty.

"However, the church often housed

"down-on-their-luck parishioners

"in an adjunct structure, which also caught fire,

"resulting in one casualty, Mister..."

"Willie Turner, local handyman"?

He killed me!

That son of a bitch killed me, and he's trying to do it again.

He wants to make a twice-baked Negro.

I'm calling the cops.

Fine, but let's wait till we get back.

- Please let me finish the experiment. - Beatrice,

can I talk to you in the bedroom for a second?

Willie. Looking good.

Lose some weight?

Yeah, I lost weight. All of it.

I'm a goddamn ghost thanks to you,

you backward-ass cracker.

Listen, Edgar, I know you want...

- [SMACK] - Oh!

That's for not listening.

Now go put something

pretty on so we can get to church

before they give away all the good seats to the cripples.

And how many times do I have to tell you

to throw this out?

It became worthless after my father

let that coon who ruined

baseball write his name on it.

[BASEBALL THUDS]

[EXHALES]

- [CLICK] - [WHISPERS] Subject is a racist,

murdering, spousal-abusing, reprehensible,

irredeemable son of a bitch.

- He also remembered his father. - [CLICK]

- We're calling the police. - What about your experiment?

He just hit me!

Oh!

Black handyman gets murdered, but we can let it slide.

White woman gets slapped,

and we gotta send up the Bat-Signal.

This is that bullshit!

[KEYS JANGLE]

[BIRDS CHIRPING]

[ENGINE REVS, IDLING]

Beatrice, hurry up!

We're gonna be late for church.

[ENGINE REVS]

[SLOW INSTRUMENTAL OF "DIXIE" PLAYING]

[DOOR CREAKS]

♪

[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

[VAN DOOR CLOSES]

[VAN DEPARTS]

So while...

Some results from the experiment

- could be considered a failure... - "Could be"?

Your patient accidentally killed himself

while you and your nurse were distracted.

Yes. That was unfortunate.

And I wish we could have stopped that from happening,

even though I think we can all agree

the world is probably a better place without Edgar.

But more importantly,

we shouldn't let that one mishap overshadow

that there were some real successes along the way

that warrant funding for future programs

that could really benefit our patients.

[MURMURING]

Well, I guess that makes sense.

But to be safe, next time let's try with a black person.

♪ I've got a long list of real good reasons ♪

♪ For all the things I've done ♪

♪ I've got a picture in the back of my mind ♪

♪ Of what I've lost and what I've won ♪

♪ I've survived every situation ♪

♪ Knowing when to freeze and when to run ♪

♪ And regret is just a memory ♪

♪ written on my brow ♪

♪ And there's nothing I can do about it now ♪

♪ I've got a wild and a restless spirit ♪

♪ I held my price through every deal ♪

♪ And I've been dreaming like a child ♪

♪ Since the cradle broke the bough ♪

♪ And there's nothing I can do about it now ♪

♪ And there's nothing I can do about it now ♪

Hello? Is this God's country?

That's what the poster says.

Perfect.

I think He wants me to meet Him here.

- Synced and corrected by medvidecek007 - - www.addic7ed.com -