Original subtitles

SECURITY AND TRUST

We live in a time of a great recession.

The treasury is empty,

and for the family pensions of the K.l.A. in the War of Independence

we set aside annually one billion and 54 million kunas.

And who gets those pensions?

They are received by the widows of the fallen defenders.

And since it's been more than 20 years, many of them aren't widows anymore.

They are not widows according to the Family Law, of course.

According to our information from out there,

many widows now live in the so-called domestic partnerships,

and as we have learned, a domestic partnership

is now equal to a marriage.

And here is where we encounter this huge burden to the budget!

But they are heroes' widows.

If these women today live with someone else,

they have lost the right

to their late husbands' pensions.

Excuse me...

Do you expect us to visit them and check who they sleep with'?

MINISTRY OF LOVE

One camera, one recording machine,

the car keys. The registration is in the car. One daily record book.

- Sign here, please. You're 12. - Thank you.

- Next. - Matesic.

- The Sibenik-Knin County? - Yes.

One daily record book. One camera.

One recording machine.

The car keys.

The registration is in the car. Sign here, please.

Not there. Here...

You're 13.

Thank you.

Next.

Make-up Artist

Sound Designers

Costumes Designer

Set Designer

Music

Film Editor

Director of Photography

Producers

Trinaestié! Trinaestié!

We're up there, come on!

Here's our hot rod, Trinaestié!

Come on!

Excuse me, this is number 13?

Just as it says...

- So we're together. - I guess we are.

- Shall I drive? - Be my guest.

Written and Directed by

Kresimir Matesic, B.Sc.

A Bachelor of Science...

l am Sikic.

Kreso, pleased to meet you.

Watch out...

A lot of widows waiting for us...

Drnis, Unesic...

Ostrovica too.

How does our Family Law treat...

marital and non-marital relationships?

Well, it treats them equally.

What does that mean in reality?

All are equal before the law.

After how long do people co-habiting have the same rights...

as married people?

Four years.

Three...

I wanted to say three...

Three.

Kreso...

We invited you...

because we're forming a new government body.

Where you could be useful.

The State Family Inspectorate.

But I am a biologist.

I thought you needed me at the Police Academy.

Something to do with the police dogs or...

that.

It's ok. Thank you, colleague.

Thank you.

Don't worry, my own son-in-law is no better either.

You will not call the pest control, but...

the nature protection management. Your jacket...

It's ringing.

They're safe from cats now!

Mommy!

- What have you two been doing'? - We just saved some bats!

Hey...

- Did you see Dad? - Of course. Talked about the job.

- Scout's honor? - Of course.

And?

And... it was just grand.

Dad says he nailed it.

Let's go.

Give me your hand.

I thought we'd be in single rooms.

We're some kind of investigators, but they treat us like garbage.

Give me some.

Come on, just a piece.

What about you? You don't want to double your per diem?

I'm not a belting addict.

I am not either, I am just smart.

And smart people know when to handle their bets.

Do you snore'?

Not really.

Sometimes.

Only when I'm really tired.

Last night you were really, really tired.

- You should have whistled. - Here you are...

Thank you.

Whistle?

You think it helped?

- It didn't'? - No.

Utore Gornje, Utore Dome.

Kljaci, and we're starting in Cavoglave.

That's our first days schedule.

Motherfuck!!

San Jose Sharks got crushed.

This is the place!

How are we going to do it?

Do what?

Investigate. Establish the facts.

Oh, come on...

- Hello. - Hello.

We're from the State Office. May we come in?

Here are some figs. They're delicious.

- No, thank you. - You don't want anything.

- How about unsprayed peaches? - I'll take one.

- How about you'? - No, thanks.

- Come on! - No!

- Go on, take some. - Nope.

Well... what do you really want to know?

- Have you perhaps remarried? - In the meantime.

Sweet Jesus, but whatever for'?

It's been years since your beloved husband died.

Fine, so you live alone?

Of course I live alone.

One daughter lives in Drnis, the other one in Split.

And the tractor? Who operates it'?

I do.

So you have no one to make it easier for you...

Look... if you live with someone for more than three years,

you can lose your pension.

What do you mean'?

Are you seeing anyone, granny?

Get out now! Aren't you ashamed?!

You're out of your mind!

They told us incognito, and you ratted it all out!

And you drank alcohol, and I did not!

Only two little shots, it's nothing! You screwed up, not me!

What's the matter with you'?

- Give me the keys. - No!

I'll drive, Sikic.

- No, you won't! - Come on...

You don't seriously think...

- Are you mad?! - Buckle up!

Hey, gramps! Let me ask you.

Does your neighbor live alone?!

Tarentola Mauretanica...

or a Mediterranean lizard.

Feeds on spiders and insects.

It's got teeth,

a digestive tract, it can take a dump, a piss...

and even gets hungry on occasion.

We have the trip allowances...

perhaps we could go for a lunch.

Who's stopping you'?

My trip allowance got eaten by the American hockey.

Your addiction ate it.

Had you spent yours, I'd have invited you to a lunch.

No lunch.

Until we've caught our first widow.

Let's strike a deal, okay?

I'll lead the investigations...

and you keep your mouth shut. Deal?

Deal.

The whole country is unemployed!

What a fine excuse.

You're just a lazy ass!

Shame on you! You're draining me dry!

Why the hell you don't get a job?!

- Yes! - Hello.

Sikic... Matesic...

The State Office.

The statistics depart--

--ment. Does Mrs. Males live here?

Dunk-n!

Two characters asking for you.

We need...

We need to talk to you.

Go ahead. I'll wait outside.

L live in Sibenik, but...

This gentleman is my tenant.

That's all.

Why do you want to know?

What kind of a survey is it?

E-mail us the documents, we'll fill them in.

- E-mail? - Sure.

The government prefers face to face.

The gent is a tenant here.

- You have an agreement? Agreement?

- A house rental agreement. - What damn agreement, sir?

You do everything off the books here.

You want to know who I rent this to or how many people live here?

Tell them we're together.

There... it's been three years I don't pay any rent.

Who asked you anything?!

- I have no clue what you want. - Lady...

Do you live with the young man here, as he said,

-or not? - Is that your colleague?

It broke its wing.

- It's a miracle it's still alive. - Wow, a greenfinch. So cute...

Yes, this is my colleague. But please, let's resume.

You haven't replied.

Do you two live together?

There are two toothbrushes in the bathroom.

Sincerely.

I just came from Siibenik to tell him to pack and leave.

You can't be serious.

You really think I could be with him?! On a serious basis?

You're throwing him out because of us?

What do you mean, because of you?

I really don't know what you want, sir,

but you meddle in things that are none of your business.

So now please leave! All of you!

Can this guy stay?

He's doomed outside...

And no hard feelings...

Pack your shit.

Dad, look at their car!

I really don't understand this.

I was never a Party member. I am no Communist.

Unbelievable...

Hello.

- I'm Stojko from the town district. - Hello.

On behalf of our town district, we're very sorry for everything.

It's OK. We'll make it to Zagreb somehow.

Zagreb informed the office you were coming and that it's classified.

I guess someone blurted out. You have to understand our people.

- That thing you do is rather unpleasant. - It's unpleasant for us too.

Here... we'd like to reduce the damage a bit.

A home made one. If possible.

- Please, take it. - There is no need.

Not my car.

If you need anything, we're at your disposal.

And you... cut us some slack here. These are miserable people.

Our ladies have suffered quite enough even before you came.

Four days, seven households, and nothing.

As if we went to Medugorje.

You mean Medimurje'?

I knew you'd get a county full of widows. You're well connected.

But I hoped for a different kind of incentive!

- Well, we got a prosciutto ham. - I don't want that! I want widows!

Those you're interested in are already taken.

Get real! I'd show you if I really cared about them!

Of course I am interested in the widows. But the incentive too!

I got kids to feed.

Hey...

So how was it?

Unforgettable.

Janko is asleep?

Yes.

Any success'?

Of course. Here it is.

We had to have it sawn in half.

Ifs bedlam down there.

- No beer, huh? - What? You did nothing'?

As if ifs important.

And the guy who travels with me? A disaster...

By the way»

Tanja called. About the christening.

I didn't know we were invited.

It would be nice to see our friends occasionally.

Shut the door, please.

Let's go, commies!

Even the guys in lstria found a widow.

You two cost the government more than the pensions.

I realize your problem. If you want to succeed, you need to be flexible.

Before becoming a professional soldier, I was a gym teacher.

That's close enough.

- Were you in the war'? - Not really.

What do you mean, not really?

They rejected me.

What'? Physically handicapped? Ill? You look healthy.

Alert of them look healthy.

Are you still unfit?

Depends.

On the weather.

And it's been raining all the time.

What is this? Janko, that's enough!

You'll break Granny's new shutter.

Ifs all in the system.

What system is that?

The system! Get it? It's all in the system.

Gotcha.

- And how much are you getting? -150-200 Euros a month.

But I never bet on the local leagues, soccer, tennis...

It's only for the morons.

It's great Dad found Kreso a job. Is it in his line of work?

Of course not.

You don't get a job that easy in that line of work.

He's healthy,

he's got two hands, two legs,

-so he should work. - I hope he doesn't quit.

How long did it take him the last time?

- Four days. - Oh, come on...

The real money lies in American football and baseball.

People place silly coefficients and before they change them,

I have already paid in.

They keep rejecting his applications, and he's can't sell vacuum cleaners.

Can't? Won't!

- He vacuumed for only five days. - Almost three weeks, Morn!

He was doing his best. He tried to do his best.

I got the time zone working for me, plus my know-how.

That's so cool.

Guys...

I have an important announcement to make!

Zoran is about to sign a management contract.

NC) WE Y'- 'Y es!

You hear, Grandpa? Zoran is about to sign a management contract!

Way to go, son!

It means a home office in 5 years.

It means a home office in 5 years.

I have an announcement myself.

They are sending me to Abu Dhabi for ten days.

- We're building a hydro-power plant. Grandpa!

Sandra is going to Abu Dhabi.

- To build a hydro-power plant! - Way to go, daughter!

Do they have any water there?

Grandpa, we're going to watch over Janko!

Water! Quickly!

Ifs not so bad. I can't stand it when it's rare.

Rare is not healthy at all.

So when are you leaving?

Monday.

Well, how nice of you to tell me.

- You don't tell me stuff either. - You don't want to listen.

Besides, the job is dumb.

- Oh, the job is dumb'? - Yes!

Every job is dumb to you!

Dad is doing his best to help us, and you find the job dumb.

My school is also dumb, but I still need to do well there.

- Give me back my phone! - Wait till I finish this level.

Not this time.

You didn't ask for a transfer?

Of course I did.

Only nobody would switch with me.

Velika Glava, Konjevrate...

Gaceleze and Cicvare.

Shall we'?

Names.

- Names? - Tell me the names.

Manda Kartelo...

- Ruza Plazonja... - Their late husbands?

Mama's was late Ivan...

And Ruiz'?

Ruza's was late Stipe.

Ruza Plazonja of the late Stipe...

- My turn, guys. - Hello everybody.

Way to go, whiz!

You nailed it.

A terrific throw.

Who taught you how to play, the nuns?!

- I'll soon get back in shape! - Sure you are.

I used to have a pal here, Ivan Kartelo.

Did you know him? We fought together in the war.

- The 142nd Brigade? - Right!

He was no 142nd. He was at Maslenica with the 4th.

That's right, Maslenica. I was there mo.

So was I, but I don't know you.

What was your unit'? Anti rocket defense?

- Yes... - Screw it, I was with the police.

So how is his Manda holding on?

- You'd better not ask. - What?

He said, don't ask.

Go and see for yourself.

What, she's got a new husband?

A husband? Yeah, right...

ls your pal gonna play too? Hey, pal!

- Come play with us! - No, thanks.

Ifs not my kind of sport.

And what is your kind of sport'?

I had another pal here... Plazonja.

The late Stipe.

It seems you fought with our entire village.

You're looking for some of his kin'?

Well, since I'm already here, I'd like to see Ruza and the kids...

Come here.

Go on.

I'm loo.

Stipe's first cousin!

Well...

What the hell are you doing here?

We're biologists.

The Sanitary Inspection.

The insects, the critters, the pest control.

Terrific!

Watch out here, pal.

We keep on straight ahead here!

I got him this time.

My dear sanitarians...

Come on, move it.

Ruza? Ruza!

Look who I just brought!

- This is Kreso from Zagreb. - Hello.

Stipe's war mate!

So you're from Zagreb?

- Yes. - Which one are you?

- I can't see you here. - I am looking myself.

I'm not there, I must have been on leave.

- You were so young back then. - I was young and foolish.

I can't remember Stipe mentioning anyone from Zagreb.

Or maybe he did...

- It could be he did. - He must have, he's here!

And the best figs are also here!

And here they are. Say hello to the gentleman.

This gentlemen here was fighting with your dad.

- They're so big. Took after Stipe'? - He was just 5 feet 11.

They took after my dad.

The girl is Stipe's, and Stipica...

Stipica is mine.

Bring the donuts, don't just stand there.

You go with her, too.

When my Stipe got killed...

it was really...

I wouldn't have stayed alive if it hadn't been for lco.

I swear.

But it still says Plazonja on the door.

I am Plazonja.

Still am.

We kinda didn't want to marry...

So Ruza wouldn't lose her pension...

The main thing is that you're together here.

Why are you so silent?

He's always like that! That's the way he is.

And he's cute!

- He's cute. - But...

May I take your picture together?

- In front of the house? - Let's do it!

Today you were...

Today you were...

like a genuine criminology professor.

And what kind of a professor are you?

A professor of nothing, like everybody else.

I was a plain clerk.

When they started closing down the departments, we all got another chance.

Archives, storage, delivery, registration desk.

Our own police caring for their employees...

Well, not exactly. Have you heard the rumors'?

When we're done with this,

they'll let half of us go and promote the other half.

So they closed down all the useless departments,

and put you guys on the widows hunt.

Please excuse me for 5 minutes.

Now who have we got here?

Taking a leak without your leg up.

And you're doing it, boy, without squatting.

Where to'?

She threw me out...

after three years! Now you're gonna tell me why.

No idea.

You think you're a hotshot?!

What are you doing, you fruitcake?! Get out!

Calm down.

- I want to leave. - Out of the question.

You may have a concussion.

- You need to stay the night. - But we have a job to do.

They need to do some tests.

- I'll finally catch some sleep. - You excelled today too.

A genuine hero.

- The Wild West, yes. - Right. Hmm...

And we just stuffed ourselves with this terrific lamb.

Great, love, let's finish this slowly, I've got a headache.

- It's late. - Fine. I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry, but...

- Can I tell Janko what Dad's been up to? - It's 11.15PM, he's asleep!

- Sorry... - All good. But I got to go.

- I didn't know it was that late. - Well, look at your watch.

- Bye. - Bye.

Excuse me. Hello.

- Hello. - How's the patient?

Sorry, what is that?

This is for the patient, and this is for the lady of the house.

Thank you. You didn't have to.

Please wait a second in front of the house.

- Was I too long'? - No, no...

How's you partner? I heard what happened.

Ah, he'll recover.

And how about yours?

How many times do I have to say he's not my partner?

Fine then... your protégé.

They were chasing him for 30 minutes. He's in custody now, sobering up.

You're a tough one to get over.

Well, that's me.

May I see the bird?

Ifs not really convenient.

- Well, can I take you somewhere? - I have my own car.

Oh...

- Well, all right then. - Wait...

I mean, I have a day off.

It was over between us a long time ago.

I was trying to figure out how to evict him.

And then he blames it all on us.

You were lucky in fact. You could've get hurt instead.

Don't get me wrong. I'm glad it was him instead of you.

Don't get me wrong, but I'm glad too.

Are you out of your mind?

This is a travertine barrier!

The calcium sediments created by the living organisms.

So many fish.

This is impossible...

What? You see one trout, you've seen them all.

Listen to the doctor. Who could blame you for staying a few more days'?

No, I can manage. I can't burden you with everything.

Out of the question.

Manda Kartelo... of the late Ivan, a Croatian Army Major.

Oh my... she lives with a woman.

Oh, fuck, they're kissing.

Have you ever been with two women?

What do you mean'?

Oh, have I had more than one woman?

No, man. At the same time, in the same bed.

Why do you want to know?

Well... middle age crisis.

I was first with one sister,

then with the other one.

But not at the same time.

How about the brother?

Have you been with a brother?

Hello. Mrs. Manda Kartelo'?

Yes.

Sorry to bother you. We're from the Coming Out Association,

the center for the sexual and gender minorities' rights.

Well... what happened?

What the heck brings you here?

We're here because we think you need help.

It seems you're the ones needing help.

All the more reason.

Because life here is not easy.

But if you join,

you get a legal team and counseling.

We need no advice.

- Who told you about us? - Some of our people from Sibenik.

I told you those creeps can't keep their mouth shut.

Blabbermouths.

Then what?

We join and then what?

They fire you from the school and I lose my pension.

We need no gay prides, associations, nor reporters.

- We just want to be left alone. - No! You are so wrong.

Homophobes galore in Croatia. We have to stick together.

The two of us keep together.

And they leave us alone.

They don't like us, but they do.

They're afraid you might beat them up!

Fine, guys, you don't want coffee, we wish you good luck.

Well... off the record...

How long have you been together? It's been three years for us...

We're not like you.

Ifs been four for us.

And we don't lack dick here.

A tiny request... may I take your picture?

- What? No... - For our central office.

They won't believe two such ladies live here in this neck of woods.

Sure. You're not ashamed, are you'?

Do it!

The third widow, a real prize catch, a colonel husband.

- What do you mean, the third one? - Kartelo, Plazonja and Dunja Males.

No, no...

We only proved she may have had a lover.

A tenant in the house she lived in. And for three years.

Come on, will you...

You are now blinded by hate.

And I don't blame you.

But that's between you and him.

And not between the state and her.

And it's not good to be blinded by hatred.

+11! +11, Dad!

Mom is going to Arabia again.

You just got back.

I know, Kreso.

But we could use a break, both of us.

Are you kidding'?

- An entire month? What about me? - Pull yourself together.

I'm working my ass off.

I caught 6 widows. Maybe even 7. Depends on the evidence.

- So what more do you want? - That you do that for yourself, not me.

I am.

Hey, Kreso.

Congratulations.

They told me it wasn't bad.

See, you can make it if you really want.

Are you leaving? The boy is already asleep.

Matesic!!

Come here a minute, we need you.

First, let me congratulate you. You're our most improved investigator.

When we heard about your methods...

Well done!

Come on, have a drink.

Our colleague got the point, conscience and family.

Kreso, we have a case here. Your colleague signed,

we need your signature.

- Dunja Males? - Yes, the lady...

lived in a domestic partnership at the moment of...

-the investigation. - Yeah, but she broke up right then,

she lives at a different address. Besides,

he's ten years younger, not really a suitable partner.

So a woman in her prime can't choose who she wants?

Besides, that's not evidence, but merely assumptions.

He physically attacked your partner. Correct?

- Out of rage for being disclosed. - It wasn't that. Dunja...

Mrs. Males had no clue who we were or what we were doing.

Of course she had no clue. It's all been kept secret!

Are you gonna sign it or not?

I'd rather not.

When you sign, you get the Bonus 7.

- What's that? - A special bonus for...

the seventh widow.

- Only two other teams got it. - Come, on, now, Kreso.

Sign it already!

Come on, what's the big deal'?

Congratulations. You saved your government money,

and earned an incentive for your family. Way to go!

Let's drink to that.

You earned it. Cheers.

Cheers.

How many times do I have to go to bed, Mom, till you get back?

Thirty... it will pass in a jiffy.

You're crazy, that's more than 20!

A lot more than 20 and it won't really pass in a jiffy.

OK, have a great time...

And you even better.

I wish you a handful of widows.

Take care and listen to Granny, Grandpa and Dad.

Take care, honey.

Why, Sis, if you stay a week longer, we'll come to visit you.

Though Zoran is afraid of the Arabs and the Muslims.

No, I'm just cautious.

Oh, you're even afraid to go to Sarajevo.

I'm off...

Wave to Mom my.

Bye.

Ready for the new victories, Sikic?

What have you got there'?

Borrowed it from a female colleague of mine.

A sick colleague! Put it away.

You have a permit for that? Put that away!

What do you need it for'?

Self-defense. There have already been quite enough reasons.

So here's how things stand.

We give a discount on insurance to the couples, not singles.

But I'm telling you, that won't work.

We're not a husband and a wife.

Marriage is unimportant. Nobody cares about it today.

It is only important to be in some kind of a union.

To us it's the same as being married.

Just sign that you live together, we'll send it to Zagreb...

you'll be mailed an insurance policy.

- For the car and the house. - Or you can do it separately.

- Where are you from'? - My parents are from Oklaj.

Shall we sign then? It's worth it.

Sign it.

Stop staring at me. Sign it.

Are you sure?

Just sign it.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

Here's to the house.

For home!

How come you have to go out now'?

We have a busy day tomorrow.

My university gang, they work in Sibenik.

But don't drink!

Ifs gonna be my fault if you wreck the car.

Big deal. I have my pension and don't feel like working.

It just happened.

So how is that wounded little guy'?

Ifs shocking how much it eats. It will grow fat.

People say, "you eat like a bird“, but in fact they eat like bears.

That's true!

When its wing heals, it won't be able to fly.

How come an expert like you works for that statistics office?

- You're not cutout for it. - What am I cutout for?

Don't know.

Love...

...for the plankton there.

I used to work at an institute, for the Ministry,

a lot of ambition, great promise,

but eventually my scientific career went bust.

Why'?

They changed the deadline for dissertations,

two well connected guys turned in theirs and my contract got cancelled.

Horrible.

No wonder, the country we live in.

Dunja...

I've got something to tell you.

You're looking at me like a maniac getting ready...

to cut me to pieces.

You're just a gentle professor.

You really don't need much.

Sorry, I'm an idiot.

Don't feel bad about it.

Ifs a compliment for a woman.

But not for a man.

Shall we go to my place?

You still want to do it?

Fine, but you can't get into the hall.

No way you can handle our people.

Excuse me.

I'm looking for two gentlemen. You're from the...

- The Sanitary Inspection. - No, I need two insurance guys.

That's us.

- Aren't you from the Sanitary? - The Sanitary Insurance.

- But we do the other thing too. - Some people are looking for you.

Come!

Great you haven't left yet!

- Something wrong with the agreement? - No, it's perfectly ok.

But that insurance discount... any vacancies still available?

We brought our friends from Kijevo. They want to sign too.

Sorry, but we're full.

Oh, what a shame!

They're in the same situation.

- A widow? - A widower.

His ex-wife got killed in the Home Guard.

A widower... just like me, 'cause of the pension...

So you're not married?

No.

But we're just as good.

My best man, from my first marriage.

My wife and her husband got killed...

in the same campaign.

- Here you are. - We'll do the agreement now.

- Three months free of charge. - Wasn't it four'?

Four...

months...

of your real estate and car insurance free of charge.

Just fill in your details here...

and sign you're in a domestic partnership.

- Give me back the phone! - I'll lose the level!

Ah, kids... what can you do?

Sir... sign there.

And may I sign?

Is it a problem if I'm married?

How much left to Zagreb?

- How about a rest? We've earned it. - Of course we have.

Trinaestié and Grahek...

Who?

Trinaestié and Grahek from the Liéko-Senjska County.

Trinaestié is a legend.

He caught five of them alone in Gospié.

Grahek used to work in the delivery department.

Two beers.

Hi, colleagues.

Wow, Knin-fiibenik is here.

So, Sikic, have you met a widow?

He met one, caught her, but she perished on the way.

She couldn't defend herself.

Well...

How many?

Bonus Seven...

And you'?

One...

Plus another eight equals nine.

Bonus Nine! Holy fuck.

Everything's so easy with my partner. Like Kukoc playing basketball.

Theirs is a better county.

Ours is a better technique.

Yours is a better technique?

When you catch a niner, talk as much as you like - but now...

Fine, we got us a better county, people are greedy...

and family is but a decoration, as opposed to yours,

where all believe in God and abide by the laws.

But all widows are the same, fuck them!

They think they can live off somebody else.

Do you live off somebody else? No. Do you? No.

And they're miserable, poor things. Yeah, right. A mafia.

You know who's miserable?

We are.

Can you pay for your gas or kindergarten for your kid?!

No, but they are the poor ones.

They screwed over the entire nation, and on top of that,

they cheat on their late husbands, and they swore to fidelity.

Come now, don't overdo it!

They should be fucked over, and that's why I got 9, and you got 7.

Do you know the difference...

between you and me?

You're a philosophic,

emotional type,

and I'm a professional.

I collect scalps,

and you look for some bullshit justification for what you do.

I know that what I do...

is generally not some worthy cause. It is a worthy cause for my family.

And that is why I am going to stay...

and you will vanish...

as if you never existed at all.

You and your niner.

Let's go.

See you.

'Sues...

are we really doing this for our families?

I am a widower.

Let's get one drink with my father-in-law.

- They are looking after my kid. - Listen...

- We already had a few, it's not OK. - What's not OK'?

We got us a Bonus Nine.

- Come. - No way.

- Yes, yes. - No, no.

Ifs not appropriate.

- I'll go home new; - Why so obstructive, Sikic'?

I don't like to booze anymore. I shouldn't be doing it at all.

Ah... an ex-addict!

What?

Oh, fuck!

Janko is not there with you'?

+11, Dad. - Hi.

- How many widows did you catch? - A Bonus Nine!

Nine?! Way to go, Dad!

Weren't you supposed to be back tomorrow'?

We wrapped it up early.

I called, but you turned off the phone, of course.

- Where were you'? - Trakoscan.

Spent the whole day there so we wouldn't be in Grandpa's way.

Why are you waiting outside?

Have you been drinking?

Nah...

A friend would like to borrow you for the lstria County.

One weekend only.

May V)

Come on in.

Good you're here. I wanted to send someone for you.

OK...

- You go first. - OK.

Ifs about my reports.

One in particular.

Mrs. Dunja Males.

You see, I'd like to revoke my signature.

I shouldn't have signed what my partner wrote.

No regrets after a good fuck.

In what sense?

That's how the saying goes.

So ifs a done deal'?

These are official decisions.

After the deputy minister signs them, we're sending them out in a few days.

- There you go... - No.

We can't repeat the procedure.

Besides, we should notify...

Brigadier Rukavina, and she's on her leave.

Her fiancee returned from Afghanistan.

Oh, man...

Rejoice!

You got yourself a job.

A steady job.

You are one of the eleven chosen.

What about my partner?

- Who? - Sikic.

We haven't told you, but...

the government chooses only one team member.

A better one.

And that is you.

Janko, stop with that ball.

180 over 110.

Ifs not much.

Thank you for not doing something stupid.

It would harm us all.

Didn't want to ruin such a perfect marriage.

Janko, stop kicking the ball! You're wrecking my nerves!

Ifs far better to create than destroy.

As far as me, do what you want. Just stop selling me your shit.

Janko, beware!

Ljerka! Are you OK'?

Ifs nothing, right, love? Are you ok?

Call the ambulance!

My mother-in-law broke her leg, so...

You know how it is, you're a widower.

She broke her leg, she didn't die.

- What do they say at school? - The science teacher says...

he'll get to know Croatia. And it's only one long weekend.

Soon we'll know who stays, and who has to go.

Based on our results, we have a chance, huh?

Those who stay will become senior clerks.

More points, a bigger paycheck.

Janko, can you read that?

Antonija Mrcela...

born in Drnié, 1958.

- Occupation? - A housewife.

What is a housewife, Dad?

Ifs when a mom is at home, takes care of a daddy and the house.

- And when a dad is home'? - He's also a housewife.

You're a housewife, Dad!

I am kidding! You're a great investigator.

I sure am. Go on.

Koraljka Tafra...

born in...

Drinovci......

in 1968.

I'd like to see you too, but I can't, I'm with...

-a Ministry delegation. - Dad! I have to pee.

Hang on!

Sorry.

The Ministry of Public Administration, the statistics office.

I'll wet my pants, Dad!

I'd like to see you too.

We're seeing the waterfalls, so I'll let you know.

I'll let you know for sure.

Bye.

Get in.

- No stains, OK'? - OK.

Have you seen this'? A disaster!

Our ministry and widows all over the pages!

Holy shit...

We might get lynched, and you're taking your child along!

Here's number 8.

Hello!

We have a special offer, free vacuum cleaners for couples.

We're doing a survey...

on dietary customs of marital and non-marital unions.

Daddy...

Is it OK to lie?

No.

But why did you lie to those ladies then?

Sometimes it's OK to lie if it's for the common good.

What does common good mean'?

Is that Mom texting you'?

What is common good?

Bilice, Rogoznica,

Vodice... nothing!

Zero!

Maybe we're gonna have more luck tomorrow.

Primosten tomorrow. Late Brigadier Tafra's widow.

What a beautiful park.

Yes... it's nice here.

All of it built by our local authorities.

You are new here?

Yes... passing by.

I work for the Sanitary Inspection.

We're looking for the chiropters.

The bats.

Also rats and mice, everything that's bad.

Matesic.

- And you? - I'm...

- I retired. - So young and already retired.

I receive my husband's pension.

Dolores, don't climb up there!

So your daughter has no father.

Excuse me?

I mean, if you're a widow.

Ifs good to have someone because of the child.

Is this some kind of an offer?

If you're available...

Who are you'?

Matesic.

Dolores!

- Come, we're leaving. - Just a bit longer.

Come here this minute!

I know who you are. One of the people from the papers.

Well, you can kiss it goodbye!

You jerk! I'm not your fool!

She has a mom and a dad and lives with them and her step-sister.

Her mom had another dad before.

- You recorded it? - I d id .

'Sue, are you out oi your mind'?

Tafra is a prize catch, her husband was a brigadier!

Ifs not for children, I don't want you to do it.

Why are you so mad? He caught his first widow.

-Instead of being proud, you nag! - It's none of your business.

I received the decision.

You took my pension away!

- Wait, let me explain. - What's there to explain?

It says in here.

"After a proper investigation." The signatures are here too.

How could you lie to me?!

My dad lies only when he has to, for the common good.

So this is the Ministry delegation?

Janko, get inside.

I suspected all along, I'm no fool.

I didn't know you were such a piece of shit!

- You knew everything? - Look at him.

Gentle and kind on the outside, and vipers deep inside!

Sorry, it was out of my hands.

You stole my pension!

You OK, Miss'?

- Don't touch me! - Don't come any closer!

Shall we call the police, ma'am?

There's no need.

Look what I've brought for you! I made a stew of that bird.

- What? - A stew!

- We ate it! - No...

Yes we did!

That's against the law!

You know what? It was finger licking good!

It's all fine. She wanted to use you.

She got what she deserved.

Janko, are you OK'?

What's up?

- We ran out of gas. - You didn't fill her up?

- Me? - No, me!

- It was not my turn. - Yes, it was!

OK, fine, now what?

Why haven't we called the Road Assistance?

They wouldn't arrive before dark.

And the gas station is only a mile away.

A mile... up the hill.

Handbrake, son!

Fucking gas station...

One-two-one!

Turn right there. Right...

Here we are... In the shade.

It was me who filled her up. So it's your turn.

Hello.

I ran out of gas.

- Can you help? - The gentleman on the right.

First the devil sent him,

and now God himself. Hold this.

I ran out of gas, can you help?

Hello!

Hey, loo, my friend. Can you help'?

- I ran out of gas. - Sure I can, my war mate!

Lying, cheating, thieving piece of shit!

And take this for Ruza and my late cousin!

You piece of shit!

This piece of shit made seven of our late friends' widows

lose their pensions!

You bastard!

Motherfucker!

Anyone have gas?

Thank you so much.

- How much is it'? - Forget it.

- And where are you off to now'? - Going for a walk.

Stojko!

Stojko!

A shot of whiskey.

Mr. Insurance Man'? Are you OK'?

Mr. Insurance Man'?

Mijo Maloca.

You insured me,

and my missus.

You mistook me for someone else.

I don't know you.

Okay, okay... no need to be ashamed.

Although decent people would be if they were in your shoes.

I don't know if you're a happy man, or not.

May God grant you half the happiness I got.

Despite what you did to us.

You can take our pension away.

But that what Mare and I have...

no one can take it away from us.

That's what I came to tell you.

Sir...

Sir!

You're out of you mind, woman!

Please, don't!

You lunatic! You'll pay me for this!

- Hi, Mom. - Hello, my love.

Let me see you.

Go inside. I'll come in a minute.

- What was he doing with you'? - Watching what his dad does.

- Come inside. - Let's go home.

- Come to the garden. - Let's go home.

I want to talk to you.

I'm going nowhere. Let's go home.

I'm staying.

I cheated on you.

You stand still, I move forward.

That's genetics for you.

- You're just like your dad. - Leave him out of this.

You're old man fornicated with military personnel in this very house...

...of female sex.

- You should be ashamed of yourself. - But I'm not!

Mr. Slavko Mrazovic...

screwed Ms. Colonel of the Croatian Army!

- Pipe it down. - In my own house?

- In my own house? - Rubbish!

Little Slavko!

Saint Slavko fucked Madam Colonel while madam...

-was in Samobor! Trakoscan, you idiot!

Dear neighbors! Your neighbor Slavko...

is screwing Colonel Rukavina!

- You idiot! - Get out, you fool!

You think I don't know it? But not all the neighbors have to know!

Love...

“another thing.

I cheated on you too.

"Dear Sir...

"due to the unexpected circumstances, I am unable to accept...

"your offer for a permanent job.

"Please forward it to my partner.

"On our trips he was more efficient and resourceful

"in fulfilling our entrusted duties than I was."

You don't have much working experience,

Mr. Matesic.

Are you yourself familiar with our park?

- I am a little, yes. - A little...

You take it from here, colleague.

Should we allow canoeing at the Vice's Waterfall?

Of course not. Unless you plan to ruin the travertine barriers.

And fishing?

I'd forbid it, especially around the Upper Krka.

You'd forbid everything.

The gentleman would forbid everything that is nice.

Tell me, why?

Endemic species need to be protected.

Of course, Magister, but there aren't any left here.

Only the plain brown trout.

What is this'?

I caught it today in the upper part of the river.

- A trout like any other. - No, this is...

the endemic softmouth trout.

We were convinced they'd been extinct here.

I thought so mo.

Thank you for your application.

You left your details'?

- Fine, we'll contact you. - All right.

My little salmotimus...

MINISTRY OF LOVE

Starring

Starring in order of appearance

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