Original subtitles

(Wind howling)

[Woman] I've always wanted to see the village from here.

[Girl] I've always wanted to see it, too.

(Birds calling)

[Woman] Fiona, can you keep a secret?

[Fiona] Yes I can, Aunt Martha.

[Martha] I'm going away, to live in Paris.

[Fiona] I'm going away to live in Paris, too.

(Wind howling)

(Car horn honks)

(Door opens, wind howling)

(Door closes)

[Girl] Hi!

Hi!

(Speaking French) Dear Madam...

(Speaking English) It's in French!

(Speaking French) I found this letter in the garbage.

(Speaking English) It's from my Aunt Martha.

"Dear Fiona...

After 48 years living in this beautiful city,

I still love Paris.

But Fiona, they want me to move to an old people's home.

They say I can't take care of myself.

Ridiculous. I'm only 88. (Giggles)

Fiona, help.

Love, Martha."

You've always wanted to go to Paris!

Yeah...

(Folk music ♪)

(Cover of Loudon Wainwright III's "Swimming Song" ♪)

[Fiona] Merci. Merci.

- Okay? - Merci. Merci beaucoup.

Hi!

Hi!

(In French) First time in Paris?

Oui!

And you?

Royal Canadian Mountie, on a training program in Paris.

Oh, um... Sorry.

I don't speak French too well.

(In English) I'm a Mountie, here on an exchange program.

Really?! I'm Canadian, too!

Yeah! I can see that.

Nice to meet you.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Hi. - Hi.

- Bye! - Bye.

(Bell buzzes)

(Phone ringing)

Martha?

No. Huguette.

Oh, sorry.

(Gasps)

Excuse me.

Um... Photo?

Okay.

Eiffel Tower?

Okay.

(Splash)

("Swimming Song" ♪)

Man overboard!

(Man yelling indistinctly)

(Buzzing)

Oh! Sorry.

Excuse me.

Do you speak English?

No.

Oh. Um...

I'm looking for my Aunt Martha...

Apartment 6.

She doesn't answer and...

I'm...

Worried.

I'm worried too.

She's been acting strangely lately.

Bizarre?

What do you mean?

Well...

three days ago...

Hello, Martha. How...

...are you?

Fine and you?

Okay, but there's this mystery at the laundromat.

I'm wondering why my socks dis...

...appear.

I'll explain later, Monsieur Martin.

And?

And I haven't seen her since.

Do you know where she is?

She had a lot of friends but most are dead now.

There's that Norman guy, but...

Wait, wait.

Could you speak too slowly please?

She... has... a... friend, Norman...

but... I... don't... know... where... he... lives.

Oh. Okay.

(Whimsical music ♪)

(Cameras snapping pictures)

Sir!

That's a private garbage can, sir.

Got a light?

Merci!

Ho!

(Whimsical music ♪)

Hey!

Cheese!

Merci.

(Music ends ♪♪)

So Miss, you've lost your passport.

Oui.

And all your luggage,

- Oui. - ...money...

Oui.

And your Aunt Martha.

(Crying) Oui.

She doesn't answer the phone?

No.

Have you gone to the police?

Okay.

Don't worry, Miss.

We will inquire about your aunt tomorrow.

Come back with two photos and we'll apply for a new passport.

Okay?

No!

(Sobbing) I don't have anywhere to go!

I only know Martha!

It's a meal voucher.

Merci.

Merci beaucoup.

(Triumphant music ♪)

Mmm!

Bonsoir.

Wearing a tie is compulsory, sir.

Merci.

We don't allow dogs, sir.

We don't either.

Merci.

(Loud music plays ♪)

- Good evening. - Good evening.

Do you want to dance?

No, no.

Excuse me.

Do you want to dance?

- No! - Do you want to dance?

What?

Do you...

want to dance with me?

No.

Good evening. Do you want to dance?

- No. - No.

And you?

No.

Want to dance with me?

Sorry, sir. Perhaps during my break.

(Together) No!

- Bonsoir. - Bonsoir.

Would you like to dance with me?

Oh, oh! Well, thank you, but I--

Bonsoir.

Bonsoir.

- Hi. - Hi.

(Song ends ♪♪)

May I offer you a drink?

Oh, no thanks, I...

Oh, I'm sorry. I have to go.

Hey...

I have the same sweater.

To our sweaters!

Are you a dancer?

Oh no.

My aunt is a dancer.

And when I was young...

Bidoo, bidoo, bidoo!

But that was a long time ago.

And you?

I'm a little rusty.

Rouillé?

(Knuckles popping)

Oh my God.

Wow, it's getting late. I should be going.

I'll take you home!

Oh no, please.

Excuse me. One... No, two...

Three bottles of champagne and the bill!

Hey th... That's...!

Stop.

No.

Thief!

(Yells) (Splash)

(Phone ringing)

(Whistling)

I love you.

(Bottles clanging)

(Whistling)

No news concerning your aunt, unfortunately.

But someone's brought back your back pack.

Really?!

Look!

Hi.

Hey! So we meet again.

Yeah.

How do you like Paris?

Oh, I really like it. (Man yelling in background)

Sorry, I've been called.

Oh, okay.

Hi.

(Sighs)

Excuse me.

Do you know this lady?

Anyone seen that old lady who lives nearby?

The dancer?

Anyone speak English?

Yes, me.

- Hi. - Hi.

[Man] Sit down, please.

Sorry, I have some bad news.

[Fiona] Bad news?

She passed away.

Passed away?

Yes.

Two days ago.

That's not possible. She was expecting me.

I'm sorry.

Okay.

The funeral is today, 2:00 PM, Père Lachaise cemetery.

You walk up this street and take the second on the left

to reach this metro, here.

And you take line four heading for Porte de Clignancourt.

You have to change.

You get out here at the Réaumur Sébastopol.

Then you look for line three heading for Gallieni.

And you get out here, at Père Lachaise.

Then you have to walk up this street.

And after that, you have to ask.

- Okay, thank you. - You're welcome.

Hope you're gonna make it.

- Thanks. - Good luck.

- Bye. - Bye.

Stop following me!

It's that way.

(Organ plays ♪)

(Both whispering) Bonjour.

Do you speak English?

Oui.

My name is Fiona. I'm Martha's niece. Sorry we're late.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present Fiona, the dearly departed's niece and...

Dom.

Thank you for coming.

You're the only members of the family.

I'm Cyril, her agent.

Are you Norman?

No, I'm Cyril her agent.

Oh, hi.

Do you want to say something?

Oh no, thank you.

We are here to say good-bye to...

Sorry, I'm blanking.

- Marthe. - Marthe.

...who we miss already.

Her knowing smile...

her sparkling eyes...

her legendary generosity...

sweet, gentle Marthe.

If you needed anything...

a little sugar, a small loan, a helping hand,

she gave without a thought.

Unselfish, Christian, to put it simply.

But she wasn't a fool though.

You couldn't pull one over on her.

She could keep her distance if she felt someone was being greedy...

or impolite...

or badly dressed.

She didn't like badly dressed people.

She hated them in fact.

She didn't like black people either.

We shouldn't be too hard on her because of her age.

But she was a little racist, you have to admit.

As for the homeless, she didn't like them either.

She could be really unpleasant with them.

Nasty even.

And if she came across...

a black, badly dressed homeless person, she went crazy.

And it was nasty!

You knew right away who you were dealing with.

Good old... Who?

- Marthe. - Marthe!

Good old Marthe.

All that petty hate, that putrid inner ugliness, burst out...

like... like pus from a boil!

And as if that wasn't enough,

she was also the cheapest person I ever met!

A disgrace! A disease! A bitch!

You think you know someone, until...

(Pensive music ♪)

Please join us for refreshments in our reception hall.

We also have a garden.

Who is that?

Marthe.

Dom.

Dom.

This is really strange.

What?

Oh, sorry!

97, 98, 99...

100.

97...

Hello, who is it?

- It's Madame Gentil. - Shit.

- Yes? - Hello, it's Madame Gentil.

I'll let you in.

(Knocks on door)

Martha!

Nursing home, Les Alouettes

Martha?!

...socks disappear?

I'll explain later, Monsieur Martin.

(Mid-tempo music ♪)

It's been over 30 years... since I tasted that!

That's mine!

But...

(Vomits)

(Whistling)

That's my place!

Marthe!

What?

We shouldn't be here.

- Hello! - Shh.

(Drill buzzes) What are you doing?

(Drill buzzing) Shh!

It's not Martha!

(Phone ringing)

- Hello, Gaby? - Yeah.

Gabriel?

Oui.

Okay, it's loaded.

(Alarm buzzes)

No! I can't!

Sorry, I'm late.

Sorry, I'm late.

Norman!

Martha.

- You eat too fast. - I know.

You should phone your niece.

I wrote, but she never answered.

You kept them!

You lost them?

(Upbeat music ♪)

Norman?

Oui, Martha?

Can you lend me 100 euros?

They have short arms and deep pockets at Les Alouettes.

Thanks, babe.

He's over there.

Hello, Norman.

Oh, hello.

They're looking for you at Les Alouettes.

You haven't seen Martha by any chance?

Yes, I've seen her.

Oh, when?

Twenty-seven years ago, at the annual vaudevillian picnic.

We made love in a rowboat.

They made love in a boat.

The dearly departed's niece got her nose stuck in the elevator.

What happened?

Nobody knows.

I'm sorry, I have to go.

The ashes.

Where's Dom?

Nobody knows. He disappeared.

Disappeared?

My tie got stuck.

I've done that too.

- I thought I was in the... - May I?

Yes.

How about a drink?

Yeah.

Excuse me.

Is this space free?

I think so.

Merci.

I'm sorry.

Both of you.

- You're my best friend! - I have work to do.

(Upbeat music ♪)

I found these in the garbage!

Did you know they make biodegradable urns now?

I thought you were dead!

Just... fuck off!

I know where I'm going!

It's here.

Thanks.

- Are you going to be okay? - Thanks a lot.

Oh, hi...

So we meet again again!

Yeah!

Psst! Psst!

Monsieur Martin!

Look straight ahead.

Continue acting naturally.

Martha?

I need your help. Go to my place. Grab some clean clothes.

A woman is looking for you.

I know! I don't want to see her.

- Hurry up. - But...

I'll watch your things.

Okay, but you'll explain about the socks?

Shit!

(Bottles clanging)

To freedom!

To freedom!

But I have nothing to drink.

Oh, shit.

I'll just leave it there.

To freedom!

She slapped my face and said fuck off.

Who?

Fiona.

Oh, Fiona. My niece is called Fiona.

- She's a redhead. - Yes.

I miss her.

Not me.

Good riddance.

Norman.

Marthe.

(Sensual music ♪)

Fiona!

Dom.

(Both groaning)

(Breathing heavily)

- Fiona, Fiona, Fiona! - Dom.

Dom, Dom!

Fiona! Fiona! Fiona!

I'm Martha.

Yes, yes.

(Dom kissing and moaning)

Fiona, Fiona!

Fiona!

Fiona, Fiona! Oui! Oui!

Oui! Oui!

(Cell phone playing "Swimming Song" ♪)

Hello?

(Laughing)

(Phone ringing)

Hello?

Hello, who is it?

Martha?

Yes, who are you?

Martha!

This is Fiona! I'm in Paris!

Fiona! Oh Fiona! How nice to hear your voice!

Martha, where are you?

I've been drinking champagne and...

making love with a handsome man.

Really? Oh, that's nice.

Where are you?

New York, I think.

Shit, it's them again!

What do you mean?

Martha?

Hello!

Martha?

New York.

Fifteen euros.

Thank you.

(Yells)

Excuse me?

You?!

What are you doing here?

Champagne?

New York!

But where's a handsome man?

Huh?

Martha...

made love with a handsome man.

You?!

No way!

Yes way.

I can find her if you want.

Really?

(Change jingling)

(Shatters)

(Cloth tearing)

I've never...

Search!

(Mid-tempo music ♪)

[Fiona] Martha!

[Dom] Martha!

- Sorry. - Don't mention it.

Martha!

[Fiona] Martha!

Oh!

[Martha] No.

No, go away!

(Metal clanging)

[Martha] Oh!

Martha!

Fiona!

- Martha! - Fiona!

Fiona!

He's a nice guy, don't you think?

(Dom lighting cigarette)

Fiona, do you remember...?

(Pensive music ♪)

Fiona...

Norman.

I'm Dom.

I've always wanted to climb the Eiffel Tower.

I don't know why I never did.

I've always wanted to climb the Eiffel Tower, too.

My legs are sore.

(Phone ringing)

Hello? Oh, it's Fiona!

Ah!

Mm.

Oh.

Oh!

(Dom clearing throat)

Um...

We are gathered here...

before this biodegradable urn...

to say good-bye to...

- Martha. - Martha.

...who we miss already.

But rather than make a long speech, I propose a minute of silence.

57, 58, 59, 60!

Goodbye, Aunt Martha!

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

Au revoir!

By the way, Martha didn't say anything about my socks?

No.

Bon.

So...

I guess it's time to say au revoir.

I was thinking...

I've always wanted to speak French.

And you speak French, so...

I thought I'd stay a little... longer and you could...

Oui.

("Swimming Song" ♪)

(Song ends ♪♪)

(Seagulls cawing, waves lapping)