All language subtitles for La Moustache.2005

What would you say
if I shaved off my mustache?

What?

I was wondering what you'd say
if I shaved off my mustache.

I don't know.
I like you with it.

I've never seen you without it.

I don't understand how
anyone can take such hot baths.

We mustn't be late.

I told Nadia we'd be there at 8:30.

So we won't come home late.

I'm going down to the grocery store
to pick up some things for breakfast.

Could you restart the disc please?

- You're still in the tub?
- No, I'm getting dressed.

Why didn't you come let me in?
I couldn't find my key.

Because I broke my shoelace.

- Did you find others?
- Other what?

- Shoelaces.
- No, I found other shoes.

Could you bring me a towel please?

Listen, Marc...

... I wouldn't be opposed.
But we're very late.

Is this too sexy for
my goddaughter's birthday party?

Still, they might enjoy
seeing me dressed as a whore.

Do you like it?
You haven't said.

Yes, I like it.

Shit, just missed that spot.

We'll never find another one.

- Sure, we will.
- We will, I have time.

- What's so funny?
- You are.

I hate guys who whine behind the wheel.
But I adore you.

You know what? Go on up.
I'll go park the car.

Why? I'll stay with you.

It's no problem. I'll go park.
Go on. I'll be right there.

You're sure?

I forgot Lara's present.

- You've got the code?
- Yes.

Hi.

Well, come in!

No, I decided to stop kissing boys.
15 years of kissing guys is enough.

Are you offended?
You want a kiss?

Hi, Marc.

Hello.

Well? You don't say hello?

- You don't recognize him?
- Sure, it's Marc.

Why "Bravo?"

I don't know.

I felt like saying "Bravo," so...

I said "Bravo."

Oh, shit. Did you clean the...

It's nice, your haircut.

Thank you.

Serge gave me the drill
when I came in.

- What drill?
- He told me to comment on your hair.

But I'd have noticed it on my own.

I hope you have nothing against seaweed.

- Off to bed, darling. And brush your teeth.
- Will you let me play with your pad?

... bad faith ...

You're talking about bad faith?

Yes, bad faith. You're pathological.
You want me to tell the radiator story?

Where did Marc go?

What's this radiator?

So, what's this radiator?

The radiator...

One day, about ten years ago...

Agn�s and I went to spend the weekend
in Burgundy with some vague acquaintances.

Three couples, walks in the forest...

errands in the village, fireside chats.
A horror.

It was winter.
As soon as we arrived

we're told pointedly

that the rooms can't be heated
all at once

unless the radiators are kept very low.

Otherwise, the fuses blow.

The first night, this young lady
completely disregards instructions

and turns the heat all the way up
in our room.

The fuses blow.

They're replaced.

We get a screed from our host.

- Was it downstairs?
- I don't know. I don't remember.

Long story short:
The second night

we're playing Scrabble by the fire.

Agn�s goes up to bed first

and the fuses don't blow.

Everyone thinks,
Ah, she's learned her lesson

until we go up to bed
and realize the horror

that it's 5 below in all the rooms
except for ours which is like a sauna.

There was no possible doubt
given the evidence.

She had turned off the radiator in all
the rooms so she could turn up ours.

Up to this point, it's what?
A shameless gesture.

But where it gets really good is when
they came to ask her for an explanation

Madame denied absolutely everything.

All day we asked her, proved to her
that it could only have been her

and she never, ever confessed.

You see, that's what I admire

because I'm convinced that
even on your deathbed

you'll never admit you were the one
who turned off those radiators.

It's simply because
I never turned them off.

So who turned them off?

I don't know. It wasn't me.

I don't think Serge is doing well.

He's in a perpetual state of mockery.
It's...

It's pathetic, no?

Did Nadia say anything to you?

Stop.

Stop what?

Please, post-dinner analysis,

Serge's mental state, etc.
I couldn't care less about that shit.

Okay, find another topic of conversation.
What would you like us to talk about?

Would you stop?

What is it?

Did I say something to annoy you?
I...

We can talk. Don't we talk?

We're talking, and I'm asking you to stop.

It's funny for five minutes.
Three hours is a lot.

Me, I'm fed up.
So I said, stop.

Okay, stop the car.

Stop right here!

Explain.

- Are you telling me you didn't notice?
- What should I have noticed?

Tell me!

- Is it hard to say?
- It's not hard to say.

It's just that I shouldn't have to.

My mustache.

Can you feel it?
Aren't I missing something here?

What?

I shaved off my mustache.

I don't understand.

Are you asleep?

No.

What are you thinking about?

Your mustache, of course.

You know, earlier in the car?

Yeah.

I had the feeling that...

if you had kept it up,
I would have gotten really scared.

I did get scared.

You're the one who kept it up.

Please, you're scaring me.

Don't start again.

You're starting again!
Stop it!

It's no big deal.
Look at me.

I shaved it off.
I can grow it back.

Why are you doing this?

You know very well
you've never had a mustache.

If you had shaved off your mustache,
Serge and Nadia would have noticed, no?

You went up first.

Do you realize what you're saying?

Give me the phone.

- Hello?
- Nadia, it's Agn�s

Sorry if I woke you up,
but I need to ask you a question.

- I'm sleeping.
- You didn't notice anything about Marc tonight.

- No.
- You didn't notice he no longer had a mustache.

What do you mean, he no longer had a mustache?
I don't understand.

Suppose I made you swear
to say no matter what

that he never had a mustache even though he did.
You follow?

No, not very well.

It's not important.
I just want you to answer my question.

- Have you ever seen Marc with a mustache?
- No.

Children, you sound like you're having fun.
But some of us need to sleep.

So be good and we'll talk about all this
another time, okay?

Did you warn them?

Okay, listen... I have a big day tomorrow.
I have to get up early.

I'll take a sleeping pill.

- Morning.
- Hi.

How goes it?

Okay. Let me start again.
I'll go out and come back in.

You watch, this time.

How are you doing?
Good?

- A spot of coffee?
- No.

A coffee.
Not a spot of coffee. A coffee.

- I'm dreaming.
- Excuse me?

Nothing.

- What are you doing?
- As you can see, I'm having a coffee.

Wait. You go out,
you say you're coming back, and...

And I have a coffee.

Well, I'll have one too.

You're acting weird today.

Did you two have a fight?

You really don't notice anything?

I do.
I notice you're acting strangely.

Let's get to work.

We have the advantage of appealing to novices
as well as to experts.

We tell them different things,
with the same words, the same visuals.

I think that's good.

But of course, whenever you'd like.

No, Monday won't work.

I'm working all weekend.
Ciao.

- You're a real jerk.
- That, you notice?

Of course, I notice.

It's been what?

Three years since you and Agn�s quit.

I saw all you went through.
I think it's really stupid.

Don't you want to come and eat?

Did you bring the photos for your badge?

No, I forgot.
Tomorrow.

Nice move.

Pass it!

Cross it to him!

- Are you okay?
- Shoot! Shoot!

I'm fine, but we're losing.

I made sushi, if you like.

I just had some.

Anyway, these are very good.

We always leave it to the last minute.

There's dessert.

Here it is. It's all over for us.

France is out. Greece moves on to the
semifinals of the European championship.

I'm so disappointed.

I'm crushed.

Guys who don't like football are a bore.

- You smoked?
- Yes, I smoked.

You're useless.

Look.

- What did you do? What's this?
- Look at this!

Look! What's this?

- What is it?
- You're crazy.

Don't touch me!

I'm not lying to you, Marc.

I've never lied to you.

I know.

That's the worst thing about it.

You really think you had a mustache?

I should see a psychiatrist.

Don't we know any psychiatrists?

I think we need to get some help.

You were leaving without saying goodbye?

I didn't want to wake you up.

Are you working all weekend?

I hope not tomorrow.

You know...

Do you remember St�phanie from La Rochelle
and her episodes? Fran�ois was in a panic.

Then she went to see someone.

And we never spoke of it again.

I don't even know if he medicated her.
I don't think so.

Should I call Fran�ois?

Yes. Call him.

It's just like when we're high
and we flip out.

We just have to remember that
it simply stops at some point.

That it must stop.

Excuse me.

- May I ask you something?
- Yes, of course.

Look.
Can you see a difference?

Yes, the mustache.

Wait, this is important.

You're sure I have a mustache there?

Yes. Absolutely sure.

- Oh yeah?
- Yes.

Thank you.

Ah yes, I remember quite well.
It was near Serge's friends.

How are they?
I'll see them another time.

That guy Armelle talks about?
Is he for real or not?

Oh you're here.

No, Marc just came in.
I wasn't expecting him before tonight.

Listen, Nadia, see you tomorrow.
Bye.

You couldn't stanstand it at the agency?

You didn't feel well?

- I felt like being with you.
- Come here.

You want to talk?

Of course, I do.
But I don't think it's the right time.

We'll hurt each other.

I called the guy
who took care of St�phanie.

He can see us,
but not before ten days.

Otherwise, I have another contact.
Not sure what it's worth, but...

But they can see us Monday.

What do you think?

- You think ten days is a long time?
- Yes.

- You don't?
- I do.

It's cold.

What do we do?

You want to go out?

Right now, just like that?
Honestly, no.

And stay here going around in circles?

Or, we could go to the pool.

Since you weren't around,
I was hoping to just hang out.

If you like.

You know what?
Let's split the difference.

Let's go buy a jacket for you.

Which do you prefer?

Don't you want to try on that one?

- Just to see.
- Okay.

Don't you find it a bit loud?

No, I think it suits you.

Okay, my treat.

"Chiffonade of line-caught red mullet."
This menu keeps getting more pretentious.

- I think they changed chefs.
- Oh yeah?

Nothing's the same. There's no sign
of that delicious thing with the coulis.

Do you want us to leave?

- Do you?
- No, I was kidding.

Good evening.
Would you care for an ap�ritif?

Yes, a glass of champagne.

Two.

I'll let you look at the menu.

- Do you have cigarettes?
- Yes, Marlboro, Marlboro Light

Light.

No, not Light.

What's the matter?

We're not going to pretend
that we're not stressed out.

We'll stop again later.
No need to do it right now.

We did everything well today.

We bought you a jacket. You don't like it.
But I do. I forced it on you.

You'll never take it out of your closet.
That's fine. This is what couples do.

You don't like it?

I do.

Actually, no. Not really.

I think it has a funny taste.

Maybe it's me.
It's as if I were...

color-blind

dyslexic, I don't know.

- Do you want some dessert?
- No.

I'm afraid to get the tastes all mixed up.

Agn�s, I'm here.

I'll always be here,
no matter what.

I don't want us to lose each other.

I don't want us to lose each other either.

Please, no.
No music tonight.

Marc, it's Bruno. Where did you go?
We're at the agency, and we're buried.

We wouldn't mind hearing from you.
Bye.

Hello? It's dad.
Looks like you're not around.

I'd try your mobile,
but you know how I hate those machines.

Anyway, it's not really urgent.

We just want to remind you
we're expecting you both for lunch tomorrow.

We send our love.
See you tomorrow.

All messages erased.

Did you put the photos away?

- What photos?
- From Bali. They were right here.

From Bali?

Yes.

The Bali photos.
They were right on the table.

This is Marc and Agn�s.
We're not home. Leave a message.

It's Bruno.
Marc, are you there?

I've left three messages on your mobile.
Please call me back. We really need to talk.

Why don't you call him back?

I asked you a question.

Did you put away the photos?

I'd rather we discuss this
after Monday's appointment.

I agree.
I'm not talking about that.

I asked you if you put away
the photos from Bali.

This is Marc and Agn�s.
We're not home. Leave a message.

It's Bruno. Marc!
If you're there, pick up.

This is becoming ridicul...

Okay, do I get an explanation?

Wait.

I think it's best for us to stop all this.

You acted the fool, fine.

No doubt to please Agn�s.
I won't hold it against you.

- You must understand, she's not well.
- What's wrong?

Doesn't it occur to you someone who asks you
to enter her fantasies might have a big problem?

- Someone who might be in danger?
- What are you talking about?

- She called you day before yesterday?
- To tell me what?

Well... to warn you
I got rid of my mustache.

I don't understand.

Let's be clear.
You did notice I cut off my mustache?

No.
Wait a minute.

Let me get this straight.
Agn�s says you had a mustache?

- No, exactly! That I didn't have one.
- Good.

You didn't have one. You haven't
had one in the 15 years I've known you.

What are you talking about?

- Wait, I think she's back.
- Put her on...

Who was that?

No one.

What's the matter?

- Hello.
- Hi, Agn�s.

- Ah, were you just on the line?
- Yes...

Yes...
You could call that a problem...

I know. I know.

Shall I put him on again?

Listen, he'll call you back.

Yes...
That's nice of you, Bruno.

You're very kind.
Talk to you soon.

So, it's me.

It's a quarter past noon.
Er...

Are we still lunching at your parents',
or would you rather not?

I'd rather not.

I'll call them.

Catherine, it's Agn�s.

I'm embarrassed to be calling so late,
but I just got a call from Marc.

They're buried with work at the agency.
He'll be spending his whole Sunday there.

Yup. As usual.

Yeah. In any case, he told me
he'd call you this afternoon.

Yes, that's it.
I'm really sorry.

Kisses.

While you're at it, why not call
and cancel with Nadia for tonight?

Cancel with who?

Serge and Nadia.

Serge. And Nadia Schaeffer.

You ex and his Russian wife

we're supposed to see tonight

at whose house we went to dinner Thursday
for your goddaughter Lara's birthday.

You don't know Serge and Nadia.
Is that it?

And Bruno? Do you know Bruno?

He did call earlier?

Yes, of course.

And you did call my parents a few minutes ago
to tell them we couldn't see them for lunch?

Your mother, yes.

Yes, you spoke to my mother.

But we were having lunch at my parents'?

Your father's dead, Marc.

Your father died last year.

Just now, you said "at your parents',"
not "at your mother's."

I heard it. I swear, I heard it.

I think I'll go have a lie down.
Just for a bit.

Agn�s, you won't disappear?

Not you?

- You're sure he's asleep?
- Yes, I gave him a sleeping pill.

What time are they coming?

I'm not sure.

They know what they're doing.

I hope they don't try
to put him in a straightjacket.

They no longer use straightjackets.
It's all done with chemicals now.

They'll give him a shot.

He'll get some rest.

Are you okay?

Varenne avenue.

- What number?
- I'll tell you when to stop.

We're there.

We must have passed it.
Go back the other way.

I can't see anything with this rain.

It's incredible.
I was born here.

You don't remember the number?

No, I don't remember the number.
Could you turn that off please?

The number you have reached
is not in service...

The number you have reached
is not in service...

Operator speaking.

I'd like a number for M. and Mme Thiriez

Boulevard Emile Augier.
Thiriez with a z.

- In Paris
- Yes, Paris, 16th district.

I can't give out that number.
It's unlisted.

I know, but it's my parents'.

- I'm sorry. I'm not allowed.
- No, it's an emergency.

I was told there's been an accident.
I must speak to my mother.

- And you don't know the number?
- Of course I do. It's my mother's.

I just can't.
And I have other calls waiting.

- I'll have to hang up.
- No, don't hang up.

I need at least to know
if my father's dead or alive.

I understand, but I can't.

You don't understand.
If he's alive, and my wife says he's dead...

- ... then something serious is happening.
- I must hang up.

- It... it means that...
- Goodbye.

So where are we going?

Just drive.
Drive.

It's me.
I'm at La Muette

Can you come get me?

- Sure. Are you at your mother's?

Yes, I'm at my mother's.
Hurry, I'm waiting.

Could you wait for me a minute?

Shit.

Which terminal?

Excuse me.

Terminal one or terminal two?

Two.

Hi, can I still make the Hong Kong flight?

It'll be a little tight
for luggage check-in.

No luggage.

I will be home by the
time this card arrives.

The view is from my window.

I'd like your eyes to see it.

Without your eyes, I can't see.

- Excuse me, sir. You can't go out.
- I must go out.

You're not allowed back in.
You'll miss your flight.

Are you leaving?
You leave?

You go?

Can you take me?

Me. Go.

- Excuse me. My key.
- The lady.

- A lady?
- Yes, sir.

Your wife.

You didn't buy it then?

What?

The engraving.

No.

The guy didn't want to lower the price?

That's it.

Just as well. I don't know where
we would have put it.

I hate packing.

You don't care,
do you?

Yes, you don't care.

You don't give a damn.

Are you keeping this
for a long time?

It's nice on holiday,
but in Paris, I don't know...

Did you all decide about tonight?

Are we dining all together,
or meeting at the casino?

Did you hear?

I don't know.
We'll do as you like.

What's with this ridiculous jacket?

Don't tell me you found it here.

You've got shaving cream everywhere.

You okay?
You want to go back?

- I'd like that.
- Okay, I'll go tell them.

You're coming back?

Of course, I'm coming back.

I'm coming with you.

It's not like them to go off like that.

Plus we leave tomorrow.
We might not see them again.

Hey, lovebirds.
We were looking for you everywhere.

Same here. We were about to leave.

Let's have one last drink.

A last one then.

- May I see?
- Look.

We look cute like that, don't you think?

- Oh yeah?
- Look, this is the series on the junk.

Are we having that last drink?

Let's go.

They seem to be
annoying you tonight.

No. I like them.

We don't have to see them in Paris.
Come.

Don't say anything.

I'll be done in a minute.

Earlier while you were shaving, I wondered
if you were also shaving off the mustache.

One day I'd like to see
what you look like without it.

That one's for tomorrow.

I'm putting the tea set in your bag.

What are you doing?

- Are you coming?
- I'll be right in.

You did it.

It's nice.

Lights out?

Yes.

Translation for KG by rentboy.