Original subtitles

Narrator: Previously on "Final Space"...

After five years of jail time alone on a prison ship,

our hero Gary made not one, but two friends.

One is a planet-killer, the other a deadly bounty hunter.

And both of them lead right back to the Lord Commander,

who's kind of a jerk-face. Well, guess what?!

We're off to a great start, so buckle up those butt cheeks,

'cause things are about to get heavy.

[Music]

H.U.E.: Gary, you have eight minutes of oxygen left.

H.U.E., if you had eight minutes to live

and you could do anything you wanted, what would you do?

Facticulating. Ahh.

I would transfer my A.I. into a corporeal being

and go see Paris. [Laughs]

Oh, that's lame! I mean, wow. Super... cool.

What would you do, Gary?

Absolutely anything. And I mean anything with Quinn.

I mean, we could watch "Space Drive" for all I care.

I'm sorry things turned out this way. [Sighs]

Crap happens.

[Title music]

1x02 - Chapter Two

sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~

[Music]

KVN: # Holes, holes, holes, holes, cover up these holes #

♪ Plug these holes ♪

♪ Holes, holes, holes, holes ♪

♪ Nothing but holes, nothing but holes ♪

♪ Nothing but holes, but holes, but holes ♪

♪ Holes, holes, holes, holes, cover up these holes ♪

♪ Plug these holes, holes, holes ♪

♪ Nothing but holes ♪

♪ Holes, holes, holes ♪

♪ But holes ♪

♪ Plug these ... plug ♪

♪ Plug these holes, holes ♪

♪ Holes, holes, holes, holes ♪ [Whirring]

Quinn, it's me, Gary. Things have been great on my end.

I made what I believe to be a potential new friend.

Yes, he boarded the ship to kill me

and take my little green ball friend,

but Avocato is one great card player.

Any more cards and I will shoot myself.

I'm gonna shoot you if you don't play cards.

- I'll let you shoot me. - Um, oh ... real...

- Well, then I'm gonna shoot myself! - W-What? Why?

Frickin' figure it out. Figure it out.

And our newest member is this little guy!

- His name's Mooncake. - Ooh!

Everyone loves him.

That little green snot-ball is a planet-destroying super-weapon

that's gonna get us killed.

You, sir, just stepped over the line. [Slap] [Yowls]

Mooncake has feelings.

And you just peed all over them with your cat whiz.

Gary: Yep. Things have been going pretty great.

Get back to me. No rush.

It's just I haven't talked to a human lady person

in, like, five years. [Laughs]

Well, yours forever. Thunder bandit!

Message sent. I crushed it... again!

[Breathes deeply]

[Device beeps]

Quinn.

Hey, Quinn, it's Tribor.

An Infinity Guard ship has crashed.

How did it crash, we don't know. We need you on the scene.

On my way.

Ha. Oh, mama. Oh, boy. Oh!

H.U.E.: Unauthorized scan detected.

[Alarm blaring]

What's ya doing, Gary? [Grunts]

Gotcha. Lord Commander ... agh!

Hmm. Set course for Tera Con Prime.

[Warbling] [Music]

[Clank] [Grunting]

[Electricity crackling]

What the heck is this thing?

- A Ventrexian stealth probe ... Turk. - Of course, "Turk."

Who the hell is Turk?

A bounty hunter ... like me. If he scanned Mooncake,

he'll be on his way back to the Lord Commander

- to gather reinforcements. - Mm-hmm.

- Unless we stop him first. - Mm-hmm.

It we don't, they will capture Mooncake.

- Unh-nh. - And take us to the Dark Zone.

Unh-nh. And torture us with zargon slugs.

- Unh-nh. - Or we're gonna suffer pain

- and anguish for eternity. - Oh.

And the only way to stop them is with salt.

- Oh. - And there's no salt

- in the Dark Zone. - Hmm.

Sounds like I got these buttery buns into a hot vise.

- How do I stop them? - You don't.

But together, we've got a shot.

Get me out of these cuffs, and we'll go after him.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, cowboy!

You tried to kill me!

If you want me to trust you, first we clasp.

- I'm not doing that. - Oh, yes, you will. You will do that.

We've enjoyed recreational cards together.

This is the next step. A hand-to-hand bond that forges

the completion of a newfound trust.

We don't have to get balls to the wind naked, do we?

Tradition demands yes. But you're lucky.

I'm more of a progressive.

Trust mode engaged.

It's been five years since I've been off this ship!

I am pumped for adventure! Let's get this guy!

H.U.E., open the airlock.

H.U.E.: You are a prisoner.

How will I know you won't run?

- I got nowhere to g... - Inject.

Ow! What the freak was that?!

If you are not back aboard this ship in five hours,

your brain will go into convulsive spasms and then explode.

- Let's go! - Shouldn't we take Mooncake?

It's too dangerous. Make haste, make haste!

I'll miss you, bud. Be good.

And don't whiz on any of my stuff.

[Music]

[Music]

Oh, oh! Street meat!

They got street meat, Avocato!

- Focus. - Okay, I'm focused.

Gary: All right, we're getting Turk.

For the galaxy, for eternity, for Lord Commander.

You're lucky that we even made it here.

They don't take kindly to Homo Sapiens.

Now let's go to Tier 24 and get you identification papers.

- [Chuckles] I don't need papers. - Or they'll liquify you.

Did you just say liquify? Or was that a brain spasm?

I-Is it happening? Oh, my crap, it's happening.

Or we'll kill you.

Gary, stay close.

Right, don't worry. I'm not going anywhere.

- Gary! - Getting some street meat!

Identification papers!

Um, I must have left them in, um...

We got a runner.

- Maybe we should get some papers. - Mm-hmm.

KVN: Welcome to the hangar bay!

But I call it the tiger's nest. And I bet you're wondering why.

- Well, okay, I'll tell you. - Whoo!

Uh, excuse me, can I help you?

Uh, hello. [Thud] Run away! Run away!

[Music]

Ahh. Avocato, it's so good to see you.

What brings you to my little shop of doo-dads?

Cut the crap, Clarence!

Yeah, cut the crap, Clarence.

- We need papers. - That's right, papers.

Well, papers are not cheap.

- [Growls] Oh! - Neither is your life, and I saved that.

Yes, right, I suppose you did.

But this is the last time. Your papers are easy.

- But this primate... - Hey!

... is gonna be much more difficult.

- Get your finger out of my tummy. - Ooh! It speaks.

I guess you can train anything.

I'll touch you any time I wish, primate!

Hmph.

Yes, no, not that one. Hold on a second.

Down here at the bottom, possibly. Oh, yes, here we go.

- Skin of a dead Hooblat. - I have to get in this thing?

It's like a slippery pita pocket.

You want to be liquefied and have Mooncake

and the Galaxy 1 destroyed?

No, h... how the hell do you know that?

It's everywhere. It's all anyone's talking about.

Huh.

Both: Get in the skin!

For Mooncake.

Oh, my God, it's so warm!

Oh, it's ... and wet! Oh.

It actually kind of feels kind of nice,

like a pair of warm, wet house slippers.

It doesn't make any sense.

I know. It doesn't make any sense.

I wish there was sense. Where did all the sense go?

I don't get it. It's an Imperium T3.

- These things don't crash. - They don't crash, you're right.

It doesn't make any sense. Why would it crash?

Tribor, look me in the eye.

- Now shut up. - I should shut up.

- Why do I keep talking? - Are you reading this?

The gravitational constant is shifting.

- I am seeing it. I am! - A disturbance this strong

can literally tear the universe apart. [Music]

H.U.E.: Intruder alert.

Initiating anti-gravity countermeasures.

[Thud] [Grunts]

Sames, initiate defense sequence.

[Lasers firing] [Music]

Anyway, I'm kind of in charge of security around here,

which brings me to a big ask. [Chuckles]

Could you go out there and get me a cookie?

- Chocli. - Score!

All right, I'll stay here and guard the fort.

How do I look? Be honest.

- I'd give you a 2. - Just a 2?

Get my hair done or something, you know.

- How about no? - No, seriously, I could get highlights.

- I could get ombre hair, you know? - I can't believe it.

Believe it, because this ombre hair is happening.

- No. Turk! - Oh, crap, it is Turk.

What are you looking at? What are you looking at?

- Let's go. - Let's go.

Hmm.

[Choking]

Thought you could rat us out, huh?

How the hell are you, you old bag?

Okay. That just hurts. [Grunts]

Avocato!

- No! - Give me one reason

I don't kill you right now for leaving me to die on that ship!

Because I know where your son is.

My son? Where? Where is he?

- Holding cell 43. - He's... he's here?

- Now let me go. - I'll let you go.

I'll let you go to Hell.

[Screaming]

[Screaming continues]

[Screaming stops]

[Screaming resumes]

I'm coming, Avocato.

Melanie Duinger, level 4.

Melanie Du... what ... what?!

Aah! Oh! [Grunts]

- Mommy! - Mommy!

- You're back! - I sure am!

- Oh, no! - Melanie!

Oh, they told us you were dead! [Smooches]

Oh! Everything with your sister was a mistake.

Oh, my crap.

[Music]

Sit tight.

I can't hear you.

I messed up. I messed up bad!

But I'm not gonna leave you here. I promise.

I'll do whatever it takes.

No, Dad! Dad, run! It's a trap!

Dad, watch out! [Warbling]

Dad, Dad, Dad, no!

Take him to the Lord Commander.

[Giggles] I love Mommy more!

No, I love Mommy more!

Okay, just, uh ... stop ...

keep ... stop tugging too hard, babies.

[All scream]

Melanie?! Oh, God! [All crying]

So you probably have a few questions.

Get out of here, you maniac!

[All crying]

Hyah!

Huh!

Avocato!

[Sighs] The clasp of friends.

Only two hours till my brain shoots out of my eyes.

I gotta move fast.

[Indistinct conversations]

Sir, there's an emergency.

We need to ground all Infinity Guard cruisers immediately.

What?! Not again, Quinn.

There's a cosmic disaster taking place.

- We need to find out what's causing ... - Quinn, shut up!

The Imperium T3 crashed because of human error.

Yeah? Tell that to science. You're an idiot.

- Back me up, Captain. - Time to leave, Quinn.

Okay. The Captain is also an idiot.

Lieutenant?

[Clicking]

You're all idiots! Idiots, idiots!

Are you idiots? Why would you all be idiots?

I think you're all very smart.

[Yelling]

Well, I gotta go.

H.U.E.: Stop! Stop, or I will be forced to...

Manual override of A.I. [Distorted] H.U.E. disabled...

[Music]

Avocato. We had a deal.

You promised me E-351

and you failed... again.

Trust me, I can do this. I'm close.

Ooh! Ooh, hurray. When will it be mine?

Wait, are you hiding it on you? Is this a game?

- I love games. - I don't have it.

But I can get you the man who does.

His name is Gary.

I get you him, you give me back my son. [Groans]

No deal.

There you are! [Laughs] What a day I've had, man.

I-I think I destroyed a family.

Oh. [Laughs] So how about we get out of here?

You must be the Gary.

[Chuckles] Okay... Actually, it's just Gary.

- The Gary. - Just Gary.

You know, just ... just ... there's no...

Where's this "the" coming from?

Well, this has been great. But... Avocato, run!

I haven't introduced myself.

I am the Lord Commander.

Oh, is that you? That's fantastic.

But we really gotta ... Avocato!

You have something of mine, and I want it! [Music]

Come here, the Gary.

What is going on? Oh, God!

Okay, this is ... it's nice to be wanted.

But this is ... this is too much want.

Are you going to give me E-351,

or should I tear you limb from limb?

Avocato, a little help. Oh! Oh! [Music]

[Groaning]

Avocato, the clasp of friends!

Please, man! Avocato!

[Sighs]

[Groaning]

[Laughs]

Friend mode! Engaged!

Friend? He was just betraying you.

Untrue. We clasped hands. Right, bro?

I was desperate, man. I was trying to save my son.

[Screams] Oh, my God!

You idiot! That's my freakin' arm!

You just ripped the thing off! Aah!

Oh, my God! Oh, what the freak?!

I'm spraying all my blood! [Bracelet shot]

I am going to murder your face off!

- I will murder your face on? - That doesn't make any sense!

- Run! Come on! - Oh! [Music]

After them!

- Oh, there's so many stairs! - Quit talking, you idiot!

Why are there so many stairs?!

- Gary, I can't leave my son. - Oh, we're going, all right ...

and fast ... before my brain explodes!

[Gunfire]

We're not gonna make it back to the transporter.

Looks like we got a new ride.

Okay, not ideal, but still a ride. Oh, come on!

- I don't even know what that is. - Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi-mi.

Crap it hard! [Music]

- We jump to the catwalk. - Are you insane?

No, I'm super insane. [Laughs]

[Both screaming]

[Thud] [Grunting]

Oh my God! [Still screaming]

[Music]

Attaboys. [Chuckles] I'll need that suit back.

- We're falling! Oh, my gosh! - What... ahhh!

[Thud] [Both grunt]

Oh, my God, David, kids! It's me, your mother!

[All scream] [Music]

No, my arm! I forgot my arm back up there!

This is no good! H.U.E., pick up, pick up!

- Are those what I think they are? - Viper turrets.

Okay, that's not good. That's not good!

- Quick, hug me. - Hug you?

- Hug a friend! - What?!

Hug me! Oh, we're hugging!

H.U.E.? H.U.E., come in!

Quinn. [Music] Quinn, where are you going?

To the first Hawk I can jack. Something big is happening,

and I'm not waiting while command sits around,

twiddling their wieners. Maybe I can't stop it,

but I'm going to find out what it is. Cover for me.

[Music] [Powering up]

Why would they be twiddling their wieners? Why?

Wait, I'm gonna need six cookies.

And another one. So seven ... eight cookies.

Wait, nine cookies!

[Sighs] I guess I better give him a hand.

KVN, you're going to have to save the Galaxy 1 someday.

Inside of you now is the answer.

Hey, Mooncake. My name is Nightfall.

Don't let Gary die because of you.

Gary: H.U.E.! Come in, H.U.E.!

H.U.E.: Arrr... yes, Gary?

What the crap, H.U.E.?! I've been calling you.

We need you to scoop us up A.S.A.P.P.!

On my way, Gary.

[Warbling]

He-e-ey... Gary, your arm is gone.

Oh, my gosh. Is it? Really?

I know my arm is gone, you decaying pile of fecal matter!

Now get this thing out of my head, H.U.E.

H.U.E.: Oh. It was never going to explode, Gary.

That's just my sense of humor.

You make one joke in five years, and that is the one you tell?!

Timing... is everything, Gary.

Hmm. Whoo.

[Clank!]

My arm! My arm!

Interesting. We can surgically implant an animatronic arm on you.

Gary, while you were gone, an intruder ...

Shut your face hole, KVN. Didn't you just hear the news?

I'm getting a robot arm.

But someone will need to perform the procedure, Gary.

Avocato: I'll do it.

[Music]

You?

Create temporary arterial shunt.

I thought we were gonna be like super friends, man.

I've had one mission for the past three years, Gary,

- and that is to find my son. - You should have told me.

We did the clasp of friends.

I would have straight-up helped you get your son back.

What? Why? You barely know me.

Yo, we played nine hours of cards together.

That might not mean something to you, but it did to me.

Expose bone for plating.

Friends help each other through thick

and thin and thinner and nothing.

I have nothing to give in return.

Yeah, you do, yo. Your friendship, yo.

I've been stuck here for so long with just freakin' robots.

Look robot, robot, robot, robot, robot, robot!

- Freakin' robot. - That's the refrigerator, Gary.

Really? Because I've had some serious,

dark conversations with that thing. I knows everything about me.

Keep your mouth shut, you lying robot!

Micro-vascular transplant coverage complete.

[Silent whirring]

It's an unconventional way to start a friendship, but ...

- Hmm? - Shh!

No words. Only clasps.

- Bro, you being real this time? - As real as it gets, baby.

Then I promise you, we will get your son back.

- And keep Mooncake safe. - And murder that guy's face off.

I don't think that's a great idea.

- Real raw friendship mode engaged. - Ooh!

[Music]

[Music]

Where you're going, your father will never find you.

sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~