Original subtitles

Fuck! Yes! You fuck that pussy so good master.

Don't stop!

Pound it please!

Pound it till my pussy comes! Don't stop! Pound it please!

Pound it till my pussy comes! Don't stop!

Suck my cock!

Oh, yeah. Suck it harder

Suck it harder.

Yes.

I'll be your perfect slave.

Am I your perfect slave girl, master?

Suck your pussy juices off my cock.

I'll be your slave girl master. You can even have my ass! Suck your pussy juices off my cock.

I'll be your slave girl master. You can even have my ass!

What was that?

You can take my ass, if you want it.

Every fucking hole of mine is yours, master.

Does it please you?

Oh, that's so big in my ass, master.

That's it my dirty slave.

Thank me for killing Victor Stagnetti.

Yes master. Thanks for killing Victor Stagnetti.

So brave and strong

It was my order that sunk his ship.

It was my order.

Thank me for killing Victor Stagnetti.

Thank you master, for killing Victor Stagnetti.

Without the help of Wu.

Without any help from Wu, master.

Tell me I'm the greates pirate hunter that ever lived.

You're the greatest pirated hunter that ever lived, master.

I thought everybody knew that.

Milk that cum from your dick?

Yes.

The greatest pirate hunter that ever lived.

I like that.

You're definitely my best lover, master.

You know?

I know some other slave women that we could enjoy together.

Would you?

That would be fantastic!

What is it, master?

Jules! What are you doing here?

I've come for you, Edward.

Well that's nice, but wait for me outside. I'll be right there.

Let me get my dungarees on.

Jules!

This is highly inappropriate behavior.

I want you inside me, Edward.

May I watch?

No!

A commander should never be inside his first officer. For any reason!

I want you inside, right now.

We're family. I can't do that. I want you inside, right now.

We're family. I can't do that.

I want you inside my ass.

Listen, Jules, I'm not sure what's wrong with you.

But whatever it is...

Jules, stop it. This is gross.

Take Jules to the ship.

As you wish, master.

What are you doing? Get your hands off me.

Let her go! Take me!

She's my captain's prize.

Who's your captain?

You know him.

Captain Victor Stagnetti.

Stagnetti! He's dead.

I killed him.

He's very much alive.

And Jules is going to lead us to him.

Yes master.

Don't do it Jules! Silence!

I opened up my tent to you...

You filled it up with lies!

Your dead to me!

Take him to the pit.

Jules!

Jules!

Get your hands off me you filthy, stinking ape!

We will pay you for your services in gold.

Most excellent!

Fight!...Fight!...Fight!....

Listen! I don't want to hurt you.

Let's put on a good show and maybe we can both get out of her alive.

Come on. Gotta do a better job than that.

We gotta make it look real!

How did you do that?

Look at you, homey.

Son of a bitch!

Edward.

I'll open the gate.

I was just about to break that thing when you showed up.

Right.

Edward. Yes. Let's go.

You!

She's with me.

Edward what were you doing in there? You could've been eaten alive.

It wasn't exactly by choice.

By the way, I was kicking ass.

It's dangerous here. We need to return to my ship.

Wait a minute! I need answers.

I need answers now!

Right.

Holy cow!

You brought me another devil in the flesh.

What..., matee?

That squinty-eyed devil is more squinty-eyed than that she-devil you brought before.

Hai! Have you seen her? Where is she?

Devil speaks with a tongue, but I don't know what he says.

I'm not a devil!

I'm from China, you idiot!

China's another name for hell!

No, no, no. China is another country.

It's in the Far East, near India.

Shut your mouth, devil servant.

Please sir...

I'm no servant of the devil, nor of Wu.

Actually, currently, I'm acting captain.

Hold ye tongue, or I'll be cutting it out. Says I.

The captain will have no use for these, nor will I.

But you said if we brought you a couple of crew, it would settle our debt.

These ain't crewman. It's the devil and his man-lusting devil servant.

However, I'll make a deal with you.

You kill 'em both...

...and I'll see that your debt is paid.

Just don't go marooning yourself again, matees.

We need to talk about this harlot you gave me.

Hai! Are you alive?

Are you alive? Wu!

What are you doing here?

Who's Wu?

"Wu" is devilese for "devil".

Oh.

It was like Zi Fang controlled her mind or something.

She wasn't my beloved Jules, she was... It was like Zi Fang controlled her mind or something.

She wasn't my beloved Jules, she was...

Helmsman, make way for open waters. Aye.

What does that thing want with Jules?

Zi Fang? Zi Fang seeks Stagnetti.

What?! He's dead.

I know. Seems absolutely ludicrous.

I saw him in Dead Skeleton Waters, and I've seen them too.

How do you know Stagnetti?

I was forced along with Sarina to join his crew or die.

So I did, until I was betrayed and imprisoned.

Sorry.

The Sceptre.

The Sceptre gives him protected powers of Evil. The Sceptre.

The Sceptre gives him protected powers of Evil.

If we don't get to Victor before Zi Fang does, no man will.

I am no ordinary man.

I defeated him before...and I will defeat him again.

Are you prepared to go up against Satan's rule?

I am a captain...

...who changes the wind of destiny.

It is my will that will end this conflict, now and forever.

Do you have any cannons?

Stagnetti took my sister away in the middle of the night.

And the last I heard, she was sold as a sex slave to a pirate.

Oh.

Oh. I see...

You see nothing.

I will not rest until my sister is home safe.

I've spent the last three years hunting Victor Stagnetti.

What makes you think you have a chance catching him?

Because I did it before and if I have to....I'll do it again.

Is that so?

Run around the Caribbean?

I thought your master gunner was the one who sunk the Devil's Rose?

A vicious lie from my jealous adversaries.

It was my orders that sunk the Devil's Rose.

I defeated Stagnetti and nobody else.

Just watch. You'll see my glory.

We shall see.

Proceed.

Captain Reynolds?

The captain wishes to inform you that we will arrive in a few hours.

Thank you.

Captain Reynolds, we wish to have a word with you sir.

Certainly.

We wish to hear the story of how you sent the Devil's Rose...

...and Stagnetti down to Davy Jones' Locker.

I'm sorry sailors. I don't have time for tales now.

Please captain.

All the pirates and sailors tell the tale of how you bravely defeated Stagnetti.

We just wish to hear it from your handsome lips.

Well perhaps I have time for the short version...

...how I defeated the Devil's Rose.

Oh wonderful! Thank you sir.

Thank you captain.

The first time I did battle with evil Victor Stagnetti...

was at an ancient Incan cave...

What was in the cave?

The cave?

Lots of rocks.

Were there giant man-eating snakes?

No not exactly.

Awww...

Well there were other dangerous things.

Like what?!

There was a....

...giant...

Well what was it?

Porcupine!

Porcupine?

Well that's not very scary at all.

Yeah...with....

...3 snarling lion heads!

How frightening!

Oh you don't know the worst of it.

Uh...It's feet were giant man-eating crocodiles!

It's hands were....

Large poisonous tarantulas!

And it had a massive tail!

There was a huge king cobra!

Over the top, poised to strike!

Over the top of the 3 giant lionheads!

What did you do?

What did I do? Well....

I didn't do anything I couldn't do.

And as I stood there poised over the 3 lion heads...

...I felt the dark shadow of the king cobra...

...poised for its death strike.

Venom dripped from its fangs into my open mouth!

I spat the poison back into the beast's eyes, thus blinding it.

As I staired into Stagnetti's eyes...

3 million skeletons arose from hell...

...from the fiery depths...

Were you afraid?

Afraid? Fear is a foreign word to me...

I know nothing of the word "fear".

As I ruled the shark over the bow of the Devil's Rose with cutlasses...

...flashing with one single blow...

...I severed the head of Victor Stagnetti!

And damned Lucifer back to hell!

And then the heaven's opened up...

...and God came forth.

and he kissed me upon the forehead.

And all was well with humanity,...

and all living things. Amen.

You are so brave!

...and so beautiful!

We must reward you for saving the world.

I require no reward.

The only reward I need is sunshine on my face and...

...sea air in my nostrils.

So modest. Kiss me!

Oh, kiss me too!

Well, perhaps just a little reward.

I have been rather good lately.

Yes!

Suck it hard. Come on.

Yeah, suck that mighty pirate sword.

That's it pirates.

Kneel before the mighty sword of the greatest pirate hunter that ever lived.

Calabarus Island.

Captain Stagnetti lies in the waters beneath us.

It's so small, but so powerful.

It was first captured by the Spanish...

So that king wants to use it to find sunken treasures.

It's a shame that it will be lost forever.

Send the Strongest man.

Have him bring...to me.

Come forth!

All hail, Emperor Stagnetti.

Step aside.

It's time for darkness to rain upon the sea.

Black heart has been reborn from the sea.

Really? I don't see anything.

His presence infects me.

My sword shall be my nemesis.

Do you think Jules is still alive?

No matter. This isn't just about killing Victor for my own peace.

It's about vengeance for the innocents who died by his sword.

...and mine.

This must end.

Sarina left the Sea Stallion to protect Jules' life.

Are you willing to sacrifice her life for his?

Too many have been burned...

...tortured,...

murdered and raped because of my apathy.

You've walked away from darkness. Cleanse your life from evil.

My hands are stained.

My soul is stained with the blood of their hearts.

Would you have the innocent blood of Jules on your hands as well?

It's good to see you again, my love.

Address me as Emperor or Master.

Yes, my master.

So how did you manage to capture this little pirate hunter?

She was hunting me?

In exchange for Sarina's pardon for piracy.

So Sarina has joined the ranks of the pirate hunters?

Yes, master.

She'll soon return to me.

Do you still love her?

Love is God's work not mine.

I seek only to devour the flesh.

Jules?

Come to me.

The dark siren sings her song of ecstasy once again.

Come devour your prize...

Ahoy, ahoy, Zi Fang off the starboard bow.

Ready.

We're lucky to catch her from behind.

The odds are in our favor.

The odds will change, Captain.

You can rest assured of that.

It's not the Sea Stallion.

The Sea Stallion is in port for repairs.

Captain Reynolds may've chartered another ship.

Very good.

She swallowed the bait.

The sea will soon swallow her.

I met some good friends while I was down in HELL!

You're right, Captain, our odds just changed.

Why's it always got to be this supernatural shit?...

Why can't I fight a good 'ole pirate with a wooden leg and eye patch?

Those only exist in fairy tales.

That ghost ship is on a head-on collision course with us.

I think it's gonna come to this.

Here she comes. Fire the guns!

I didn't expect that. Did you?

Do you wish to fire the stun guns?

No. Let's see what me dead matee's can do with them.

There going to be board and board with us.

All hands on deck ready for battle.

You think maybe will get lucky and they'll sail past us?

Now Edward.

You know that wouldn't be any fun.

Fun?!

I just want to fight something that's not dead already.

They are dead, so when you're fighting try not to get your sword tangled.

Captain don't get your sword tangled.

Keep sailing towards Zi Fang's ship.

I want to be board and board with her. Aye, aye, captain.

Why does it always happen to me?

Edward, I told you...go for the head.

She's heading directly for us, master.

Good, prepare your men for battle.

Prepare for battle! Good, prepare your men for battle.

Prepare for battle!

You're going to let them board?

What do you think?

Oh now this is getting fucking ridiculous!

What do you think you're doing? I'm not fighting this thing!

I'll be right back.

Olivia, good to see you again my old friend.

May the greater evil win.

First bones, then a giant squid. What an ass pirate!

That got 'em! I told you I'd know where they'd be!

Give 'em another shot of hell fire Wu.

Not until you promise to marry my sister!

Your captain's about to get eaten by a giant squid!

Now's not the time to talk about this Wu.

He's coming right at us! Wu reload the guns!

Wu, Wu, can you hear me?

I can hear you.

What are you doing up here? Get down there and load those guns!

Agree to marry her first! Yeah agree mally me!

OK!

You promise? Yes!

I'll even marry you, Wu. Now load those weapons!

OK.

You better not lie to me!

Please go down there and load the cannons!

You don't have to yell!

What kind of crazy family am I marrying into?

Famiry panda rove. What kind of crazy family am I marrying into?

Famiry panda rove.

Devils! Ye be marrying into devils!

Happy now? I shit my pants again!

I hope there is a celebration...and you are the guest of honor.

Enjoy the festivities.

You first! I like to arrive fashionably late.

Give my regards to Davy J, you fucking bitch.

Jules what are you doing?

Obeying my master.

Well done, my slave.

Now open her up and drink her blood.

As you wish, master.

The grit is a horrifying ghost that lingers until you become a ghost yourself.

I know. I should have slit your throat the night you betrayed me.

It is my deepest regret.

I regret I didn't stay to ensure your horrifying end.

I would've loved to watch the rats chew the flesh from your bones.

...as you gazed into my hateful eyes.

Don't fall asleep.

I want you to watch your friend suffer my blade...

...while I drink your blood.

That will be your last bite, Sea Dog!

Listen to the rich boy, who hasn't seen a pirate since our last encounter.

He speaks like a hardened sea whore.

...sceptre. He speaks like a hardened sea whore.

...sceptre.

I killed you the first time...

Oh, I doubt that, Edward.

Your tactical maneuvers are novice, Edward.

A 10 year old cabin boy could've commanded better.

Maybe, but I still sunk your vessel.

You were adrift. However, there'll be no saving grace... Maybe, but I still sunk your vessel.

You were adrift. However, there'll be no saving grace...

...for your master gunner.

...this time.

You are an inadequate swordsman.

How's it feel Edward?

Just feel, Victor!

How does it feel...knowing you were killed by the greatest pirate hunter ever?

How's it feel?

Edward!

You alright?

I'm alright.

Jules! Jules! Jules, are you alive?

Jules! Jules!

If you don't stop, Edward, I'm going to kick you in the balls.

You're alive.

Thank you for saving my life.

You're welcome.

?

What?

Edward, what are you doing here?

Why? I just saved your life.

Both of your lives, not that anyone noticed.

Really? I don't remember that.

I did the most courageous thing in my whole life and no one noticed.

I believe it was very courageous, but can we go home?

How could Edward save the day when Wu is not around?

Well let me tell you. I killed Victor Stagnetti.

He's dead!

I do believe you though.

You don't? Don't believe me?

He must have fallen overboard.

We did it!

We certainly did, Oxford.

Me so happy!

What did I tell you about clinging to me while I pilot my ship?

I your baby panda!

Ok, when this battle is over...

...we are going over proper battle protocal.

Do you understand me?

I have baby panda rub for you.

Get off me.

I ruv you!

Get off!

I ruv you!

?

Hai, for the love of gold, can you please give me a minute to myself?!

I thought...

I see that Hai certainly has you under a lot of strain.

How dare you speak ill of her!

She's an amazing little Chinese woman!

She makes me happy.

...which is more than I can say about you.

Just to clarify a few things...

...the night you tried to burn us alive...

...I didn't sleep with anybody but you.

Oh yeah...

...why were you with him?

He's the captain of this ship.

I'm his first mate. I should kill you!

...for what you did to us.

I didn't do anything OK?

It was Bernard's idea!

I don't believe you.

I was going through an emotionally disturbing time, OK?

I...I....I've worked through my...

...I've worked through my issues.

I've become a better man because of it.

And I realize that...I don't need you to love me.

...Because...

...I love myself now.

Finally!

Besides...you're not that unique...

...you're just an attention whore.

What's that supposed to mean?

You heard me!

You don't have the capacity to love.

You're afraid to love.

You're worried that you're gonna...

...end up like I did.

Confused...and looking for someone who's...

afraid of true love too.

Besides...you're a sexual whore.

What! You said I was the best lover on this side of the Caribbean.

Then I met Hai.

What's so unique about Hai?

She's more passionate...

...she's exotic...

And...she knows how to pleasure a man with her hands.

Well, I remember pleasuring you pretty damn well.

OK, it's different.

It's an Eastern thing.

You just wouldn't understand.

I'm just on a different sexual plane than you...and...

I...I...I've been enlightened...

...to pleasure with Hai.

Does she lick...and vigorously stroke you til you explode in her mouth?

Hai! Hai! Don't cry.

I was just kissing him goodbye.

No, no Jules. She needs to hear the truth.

You no ruv me?

No I ruv you more than anything.

But I need you to give me my alone time.

Do you understand?

You ruv me?

Yes, I love you.

OK. I let you fuck her. I come back later.

You're going to let me have sex with her?

Yeah. I just want to hear you ruv me.

You can make anybody make you happy, as long as you ruv me.

Marco.

Uh huh?

This could be fun.

Hai, would youlike to stay and help our happy...

Oh, Panda Bear, you make me so happy. I ruv you.

I love you too.

Who's your captain now, Jules?

Feeling better, Commander?

Ship shape, Captain. I don't know how to thank you.

No need to thank me. We're family.

Aye, Captain.

You didn't. Oh.

The Stagnetti thing. It was nothing really.

Defeating the most vicious pirate the world has ever known.

Again....Child's play.

All in a day's work.

I'm proud of you. You were very brave.

Lilt.

Governor Lilt.

Who in his right mind...

...would elect Littleton as a governor.

You may enter.

Captain, may we have a work with you.

Yea, you may.

I was just writing a letter.

For Governor Littleton to give to the king.

I wanted to apologize for doubting you.

You're truly a ... brave sea warrior.

Brave?

I merely did what was necessary.

That makes me just a man.

Beautiful man.

I won't argue with you there.

I wish to thank you for saving my life.

I will always be in your debt.

It was nothing. And when we return to Kingston...

...and Governor Littleton bestows to Sarina a full pardon...

Then you can thank me properly.

yes. Kingston.

yes. About Kingston.

What about Kingston.

I was hoping we could hold off going to Kingston.

We need to get back to Shebulba Island now.

Shebulba. What for?

I have reason to believe my sister is prisoner there.

Made a decision.

We sail directly to Kingston, then back to Shebulba.

Edward, I've already told you.

Governor Littleton will never pardon Sarina.

Let's get Kingston, maybe we can rectify the situation.

Why don't you let us rectify the situation?

And you get us to Shebulba Island.

What if the Royal Navy finds Sarina first?

Sarina's fine.

Besides, we always have you to protect me.

Look at these mighty guns of glory.

Yes, I am a mighty frigate of destruction.

We need to go back to Shebulba Island.

My sister needs you.

How could I possibly turn down 3 beautiful women in need?

However, something doesn't feel right.

Does this feel right?

Perhaps sailing directly to Shebulba...

...is exactly the proper course of action.

I'll inform the helmsman.

...right away of the course change.

We'll immediately set sail for Shebulba Island.

Rub your face in it.