Original subtitles

♪ when they beat ♪

♪ upon a broken guitar ♪

♪ and on the streets ♪

♪ they reek of tropical charms ♪

♪ the embassies ♪

♪ lie in hideous shards ♪

♪ where tourists snore and decay ♪

♪ when they dance ♪

♪ in a reptile blaze ♪

♪ you wear a mask ♪

♪ an equatorial haze ♪

♪ into the past ♪

♪ a colonial maze ♪

♪ where there's no more confetti to throw ♪

♪ you wouldn't know what to say to yourself ♪

♪ love is a poverty you couldn't sell ♪

♪ misery waits in vague hotels ♪

♪ to be evicted ♪

♪ you're out of luck ♪

♪ you're singing funeral songs ♪

♪ to the studs they're anabolic and bronze ♪

♪ they seem to strut in their millennial fogs ♪

♪ till they fall down and deflate ♪

♪ you wouldn't know what to say to yourself ♪

♪ love is a poverty you couldn't sell ♪

♪ misery waits in vague hotels ♪

♪ to be evicted... ♪

Same thing, same thing

over and over and over and over and over.

Same thing, over and over and over.

Hey! Hey!

Good morning.

I'm Lyle.

- Lenna. How you doing? - Good, good.

- I'm mainly a painter, but... - I know.

- I've seen your work. - Oh yeah?

- Yeah, I really like it. - Oh, thanks.

The thing is, I'm trying to re-inspire...

Trying to re-inspire myself, so that the idea is

just to sketch you and see if anything clicks.

Okay. Cool.

These little tics... I have tourette syndrome.

It's not going to bug you, is it?

- It's okay, I understand. - Good.

Is there someplace in here I can change?

- Yeah. Bathroom's right over here. - Oh, cool.

Okay, go ahead. Take your time.

I'll be out here.

Did you have a particular pose in mind?

I don't know, just, I think

whatever feels comfortable is good.

That's good. Just...

Just do a bunch of things and something will click.

That's good, yeah.

I like that, yeah. Can you hold that for awhile?

- Yeah, it's okay. - Okay.

God. I'm sorry.

- It's okay. - I'm really sorry.

Now I have an original Lyle Maze on my stomach.

That's good.

I'm sorry.

You can be my next show. We'll split the profits.

Split the profits, that's good.

- Oh! - Jesus, I'm sorry.

Are you all right? Did you get it in your eye?

I'm sorry. Want to go to the bathroom?

Yeah. I just need to rinse it.

Okay, okay, here, come on.

Sorry. Are you all right?

- Yeah, I'm okay. - It's non-toxic,

just rinse it with water.

Hello. Mom.

How's dad?

What'd the doctor say?

I can donate blood.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Just tell me what's going on.

All right, all right.

Bye.

Hey, look, I don't think this was a good idea.

I mean, I'm going to pay you.

It's not your fault or anything.

Maybe we can do it another time or something.

I just don't usually work this way,

- with another person. - I understand.

- I'll just get dressed. - Okay. Sorry.

I really do like your work.

Oh, thanks. That's nice.

Wasn't it considerate of Lyle to donate his blood?

Do you remember the last time we saw him?

He'd shaven his head.

Could use a little trim now, I think.

I trimmed your father's hair before we came...

He's not supposed to get upset.

- It think maybe you should- - Yeah, sure, I'll go.

I'll get the nurse.

Okay.

Having just a little too much fun here, Mr. Maze.

Don't be silly. It's the same blood as yours.

You can't get it from blood.

Dr. Hopkins, please.

Mike, hey.

Hey, have a beer with me?

Nobody even wants to... Wants to do it, you know?

Why do they become doctors anyway?

Hell, I'll do it.

I'll go to the fucking jungle.

- So you're serious? - Yeah, I'm serious.

- Going to Burundi? - That's right.

What's up? What is that?

It's just... I gave blood for my dad.

Oh, shit, that's right. I got to call her.

Yeah, you got to call.

Look, Lyle, just relax.

I haven't even talked to her about it yet.

That's okay, you can call her from the plane.

I'll handle it, okay?

What about your dad?

Heart transplant.

Heart transplant?

I should call his doctor. What's the name of the hospital?

- It's okay. - You don't seem okay.

I'm fine. It's just...

It was a little weird seeing him, that's all.

Was your mother there?

Yeah. Go call Callie.

I took off from work early to come down here.

- You want to tell me what's going on? - I'm fine.

I just wanted to have a beer, that's all.

You know, I've been tracking this new drug.

- They've had great success. - Not interested. Yeah.

It's a whole different world out there.

It's not like when you took haldoparadol.

Yeah, like dropping an atom bomb on an ant hill.

You can be so short sighted, you know that?

Hey.

- What the fuck?! - Sorry.

What is the goddamn problem?

I guess I just find you really attractive.

Damn dope addict.

I ought to kick your ass.

I got to pick Callie up. You want to come along?

Yeah.

Thanks. Thanks a lot.

I don't know. I don't know.

Maybe, we should have gone with the King Kong thing.

The hunchwoman of Notre Dame? Can we get away with that?

Is it too on the nose?

Too on the hump?

What happened to that idea about the "beauty and the beast?"

It's too obvious, I know, but...

It has to be beautiful.

Hey.

Why don't we try another one?

- Try a little more serious. - Can we get a break?

What in the hell do you think this is?

I cannot believe they spend so much time and money

on this kind of stuff.

What's it for?

Dog food or perfume.

That's good.

We're being summoned.

- Hey, Mike. - Hey.

- Hey. - Hi, honey.

Julianne Robinson, Lyle Maze.

Hi. I'm a big fan.

The few, the proud.

Why don't you come for a drink with us?

I'd love to, but I can't.

Not that I wouldn't like to talk to you, but...

- Maybe some other time. - Thanks.

Mike told me you're going to start working on some sculpture?

I was. I had a model come in yesterday

which I knew was a mistake.

- It was pointless. - Why?

Imagine me in an intimate situation

with a naked woman.

Enough said.

You know, you probably just need some time

to get used to having someone in your studio.

Really, I don't think it's right.

Julianne would do it.

- Who? - Julianne.

You're like proselytizers.

The height of human existence is not coupling.

Oh, come on.

You know, if you really get stuck,

I'd sit for you.

- That's generous of you, but... - No, I'm serious.

You won't get freaked out,

and if you do, you know, I won't get freaked out.

- Lyle, do it. - Really?

- Really. - Yeah.

Really? Really. Really.

Okay.

You know what I want to know? I want to know what that woman

with the hunchback was about?

- Oh, Mike. - No, seriously.

Will you just give me a break?

- How much does a shoot like that cost? - Just stop!

Where are his arms?

- Huh? - His arms. Where are they?

I don't know.

Am I allowed to talk?

Yeah. Yeah, of course.

I'm pregnant.

Really?

I haven't told Mike yet.

Why?

It's complicated.

When did you find out?

This morning for sure, but I knew.

I think you should let him know.

I think you better let him know.

I need a second without it being his deal.

You know how he takes over.

I need to get a handle on how I feel first.

Yeah, it's just, you know,

it just puts me in a bad position.

I'm going to tell him tonight.

Why tell me then? I mean...

I don't know.

I don't know if I'm ready.

And Mike, he wants to save the world half the time.

I don't know what kind of parents we'd be now.

I think he'd be a good father.

So do I. When he's around,

he'd be a great father.

What do you mean?

You know him.

Yeah, but what are you talking about?

I'm scared.

Tell Mike.

He doesn't like fear.

Hi.

Hi.

Why are you sitting in the dark?

I didn't realize it.

Are you all right?

Yeah.

Sit down.

I want you to listen and I need you to hear the whole thing.

Okay.

I might be going away for awhile again.

Uh huh.

Where?

Burundi.

Burundi?

You know, I got to give you this,

- it's always interesting. - It's Doctors Without Borders.

They send doctors to the third world.

I know what they are. You told me last year.

Why don't we just talk about what's going on with us?

You don't know what's going on with us.

You don't, trust me.

- I'm trying to discuss it with you. - No, you're not.

You've already made your decision.

I haven't signed the contracts yet.

- How long is this one for? - Seven months.

Can we even try to discuss this?

You already know you're going! What is there to discuss?

Let's discuss what I'm supposed to do during those seven months.

Why do I have to tell you what to do?

- Is Eisenhower president? - I can't compete with these causes.

You're saving people's lives, for Christ's sake.

And what the fuck am I supposed to do?

I don't want to have to beg you.

- I don't want you to beg me! - I would if I thought

it would make a difference.

You're not available.

Nobody could live with this.

Then what have we been doing for the last four years?

I thought we were working toward something.

And don't accuse me of wanting some conventional kind of thing.

Why don't you take a look around this place.

We have a pretty good life here.

You see what I see in a day...

Okay, that's it.

I have never met anyone who I admire more than you.

But I don't know how to be with you if you're not here.

Just because i'm not here physically

- doesn't mean I'm not here! - Yes, it does!

I can't do it anymore.

What does settled down mean anyway?

I guess not going to Africa for seven months.

The point is she woke up one morning...

She just didn't want to do it anymore.

One morning? Mike, what are you talking about?

I hate to tell you, this is nothing new here.

What is so fucking enlightening about relationships.

Would you tell me? It just all sounds like

bitching and moaning 24 hours a day.

There's more to it than that.

If you say so.

I was brought up to...

Play the part of being a man,

the part of being a human being.

Just to fight for something

and then come home.

Does that make me a bad guy?

I think it's the being at home part she wants.

I guess at some point you got to want to be home.

Yeah, but is that what she really wants?

- It's an illusion. - What do you want, Mike?

I honestly believe that if I don't go,

I'm sacrificing myself.

Would you sacrifice your work?

I'm not sure that's what she's asking.

But would you?

You should go.

I want out.

Oh yeah,

here's that...

New drug I was telling you about.

- Look, I told you... - Lyle.

Here, I'm going to be away for seven months.

If you change your mind there it is.

Now she's going to stop eating. I just know it.

♪ I didn't know it could ♪

♪ be like this ♪

♪ I didn't know it could go ♪

♪ so far ♪

♪ and I tried to reveal ♪

♪ the part of me that you can't find... ♪

Hey.

You order a pizza?

♪ ...and I tell him I'm feeling fine ♪

♪ and I cry about you... ♪

So, he's gone?

Yeah.

Sculpting is so different from painting.

I don't think I've ever captured all four sides.

I think I've definitely gotten three... where I'm like, oh yeah.

But four...

There's always...

There's always one side that's less interesting.

It's okay.

Thanks. Sorry.

You want me to take off?

No.

Should we just be quiet?

Please don't stop talking.

Okay, okay. Let's see...

I sculpted a lot when I was younger. You know?

The other night I dreamt that the one I'm working on...

Of your head... That it had a body.

And it got up and walked outside.

Uhhh...

Can I have some alcohol?

Yeah, yeah, of course. What do you want?

Will you have some, too?

Sure.

There's some vodka in the freezer.

Okay.

So, we'll see you Monday at 10:00?

Yeah, right.

- That woman hates me. - Lyle, what are you doing here?

It's a coincidence. I go here, too.

We have the same gynecologist?

What's so funny about that?

What are you doing?

I just wanted to make sure you were okay.

Thank you.

I'm going to cancel my appointment.

She told me I could do that pill.

RU-486.

How do you know?

I read a lot of F.D.A. stuff.

Touretters get all the other diseases' drug hand-me downs.

I can't believe I have to wait until Monday. It's ridiculous.

RU-486. Are you four eighty six?

Are you for eighty six? Are you for eighty six?

As in nix?

It's subliminal advertising.

I think I made a mistake.

Why? What?

I drew a line in the sand.

I... I don't... I...

I don't think you can start blaming yourself.

Why? It's my fault.

I kept blaming him.

I mean, if I had half as much Patience

as he has courage we'd be just fine.

So, maybe it's not over.

No, it's over.

I blew it.

And it really is, it's my fault, Lyle.

It really is. I'm the one who didn't stick it out.

Well, call him.

I can't call him.

It's not that simple.

We working tomorrow?

That's not why I came.

I know you're going through a lot.

I think it might be a good idea

for me to have something to do this weekend.

♪ Tis a beautiful day and you're welcome to stay ♪

♪ we can spend some time and catch the matinee... ♪

Shit. I'm sorry.

I didn't even realize what time it was.

♪ ...we'll make it by, when we get by with love ♪

♪ when we get by, we'll make it by ♪

♪ when we get by with love ♪

♪ when we get by with love ♪

♪ we get by ♪

♪ we'll make it by ♪

♪ we'll make it by with love ♪

♪ when we get by, we'll make it by ♪

♪ when we get by on love ♪

♪ I look in your eyes... ♪

Hello?

Hey, hey, Callie. It's Lyle.

Hi.

Hi.

I never liked that this whole room

was geared around the TV.

You got your grocery shopping out of the way, Lyle?

They're for you.

Why'd you buy me groceries?

Mike said sometimes you forget to eat when you're upset.

How would he know?

You don't even own a TV, do you?

I just got an answering machine.

Should I chuck Mike's TV?

Do you want it?

Did you ever see someone with obsessive/compulsive disorder

with a remote in their hand?

Here, will you help me move this over there.

Hold on.

You know, fuck him!

Okay.

What?

Nothing.

No, I mean, fuck him.

I don't want to be in a relationship

where i'm the only one there.

I think you guys were good for each other.

Yeah, I learned how to be alone.

How do you know he would have left

the fact that he's always leaving is a problem.

If I told him and he stayed...

I mean, how long would that last?

I want a partner,

someone wanting to be loved.

I mean, why is that a weak thing?

I don't know how people can have faith in anything.

They just seem to disappoint each other

as far as I can see.

Maybe I'll be happier alone.

It's survival for me.

Well, I guess it's survival for me, too.

Thanks for the groceries.

Hi, Mike here...

We're either screening you and you're not rating or we're out.

You'll have to decide which.

You know what to do.

Hi, it's Callie. Please leave me a message

and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

Thank you.

Hi, it's Callie. Please leave a message

and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thank you.

Latest setback for efforts to end the civil war in Burundi.

Harare had been trying to mediate an end

to the Central African nations' six-year conflict,

which has left more than 100,000 people dead...

Hey, you're early.

I know.

Wake up.

Stop. Stop!

Hey!

Hey! Hey.

Hi. You look tired.

I was up all night.

You should have called me. I never sleep.

I think I'm going to have the baby.

- Whoa. - Is that crazy?

No. I mean...

I can't get my mind around having an abortion,

and I think that's because I'm not supposed to have one.

What about Mike?

What about him?

His loss.

So you would just raise it on your own?

Yeah.

I can do that, right?

I mean, I can afford it.

Yeah.

What can I say?

Tell me I can do this.

You can do it.

I'm not being selfish, being a single parent?

I don't know. My guess is,

it's more about love, than anything.

Don't you think you should at least call him, though?

No. I don't want him running back here

because he suddenly feels obligated.

If we get back together, then fine.

He'll have missed the hard part.

Oh, god. What if I start showing

before you put your show together?

I haven't even decided if I'm going to leave

your head attached to the things.

- Ahh! - Ahh!

How'd your doctor's appointment go?

Everything's in the right place.

Are you going to find out if you're having a boy or girl?

- I'm having a girl. - They can tell this early?

No, but one of the things

that made me finally decide was this dream I had:

The most beautiful, angelic baby girl

was looking up at me, and she was smiling.

And it was like

she was mind-melding with me,

reminding me that we had an appointment,

and she planned to be on time.

Empirical enough for me.

Then we don't have to have the circumcision talk.

The first thing we go through is to be held down,

while some giant, wielding a shiny razor

carves out what's going to give us

the most pleasure in life?

I thought you weren't suppose to feel it.

Who started that big rumor?

Did you ever hear of a kid smiling through one?

They say tourette can come about because of

a traumatic experience in childhood.

- Well, I didn't know that. - It's true.

- Can you hold? - Yeah.

- Hi. - Hey, it's Julianne.

Oh, Julianne. I'm on the line

with Lyle Maze. Should I get off?

No, I just have a sec.

I wanted to tell you, they love your idea

and we're going to go ahead with it.

Excellent. Excellent.

So, why don't you get back to your cute friend?

I'm really glad they liked it. Thanks.

- I'll talk to you later? - Okay.

Hey, I got this job.

Can we work Saturday, instead?

Yeah, no problem.

I think Julianne has a crush on you.

Who's Julianne?

You met her when you came to pick me up at work with Mike.

She's a fan.

She's beautiful.

Don't you think?

Whatever.

You know, I can see through you.

You make out like you're Mr. Cynical, but you're a softy.

- Whatever. Saturday? - Saturday.

I don't, I don't...

What?

There's something, I don't know.

Try standing up and putting your hands on your hips.

Yeah.

No.

How about if you hold your arms out?

Like that?

I feel like Superman.

Okay. Cross them.

- Cross them? - Yeah.

Do you mind if I...

No, no. Come, come.

Just cross them.

Yeah.

And maybe bend over.

Yeah, that's good.

♪ they expect us to swim ♪

♪ when we are drowning within ♪

♪ don't ask how long ♪

♪ we're built for longing ♪

♪ don't ask how long ♪

♪ we're built for longing... ♪

- Are you okay? - Yeah.

Yeah.

♪ ...we can fantasize... ♪

That's good.

♪ ...through our lives, I think ♪

♪ maybe we're due ♪

♪ he may be all pink and powder blue ♪

♪ don't ask how long ♪

♪ we're built for longing ♪

♪ don't ask how long ♪

♪ 'cause you are rich with your songs ♪

♪ and you and me ♪

♪ will leave wanting ♪

♪ we're always gonna want for something ♪

♪ you and me ♪

♪ were built for longing ♪

♪ me and you are always gonna want for something... ♪

You must be in agony.

Tell me where to send the chiropractor bills.

Okay, why don't we stop.

Oh, thank you.

You're a trooper.

I wish I had a tenth of your concentration.

Nah, this whole place could burn down

and I wouldn't even know it.

Oh my god.

Hey, I'm starving. Do you have any food?

Sure.

Very hot, very sweaty. Listen to you.

No, it's just I think I may have read this

in Penthouse Forum.

You're reducing my life to Penthouse Forum?

There's nothing wrong with Penthouse Forum.

I had some of my most romantic evenings with that publication.

I'm not going to pity you.

- You don't want a girlfriend. - Or pity.

Okay, let's get back to the story.

So, what were you wearing?

Garter belts and thigh-high boots.

Yes, yes. The way I pictured it.

No.

Tee shirts and underwear.

Tee shirts and underwear.

Anyway, so she leaned over and put her hand on my thigh,

and then she kissed me.

You mean, really kissed you?

She really kissed me.

So what happened?

I told her I worshipped at a different church.

You should have seen her face.

Our friendship basically evaporated.

How does love just disappear?

Maybe you're right.

You don't let anybody in, you don't get hurt.

No, no, that's me. That's not everybody.

Why?

I don't know. Because you're different.

No, I've seen it.

You walk in a room,

it's like you change the temperature.

It's true.

You know, you have such...

Beautiful hands.

Whenever we're working, I always find myself staring at them.

Lyle.

- Oh, Jesus. - No. Lyle!

Lyle!

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

- Lyle, relax. - Maybe you should go.

- You should go. - It's okay, I'm fine.

- No, I think you should go. - Lyle.

I'm going to go see if I can find a cab, okay?

- I'll meet you downstairs. - Lyle.

Lyle!

♪ ...your life is going nowhere fast... ♪

Can you ever control yourself? Ever?

It's his girlfriend,

and she's pregnant for Christ's sake.

What the fuck is wrong with you?

♪ ...and I know that you want to test... ♪

There's nothing on TV tonight?

♪ ...you need a gimmick ♪

♪ you need a schtick ♪

♪ you need to change something... ♪

Hi, I'm Julianne.

Julianne. I'm Julianne.

Trying to remember. What was it?

Hello?

Callie. Hey, what's Julianne's last name?

Robinson, right.

Look, I really can't talk right now.

No, I'm fine. I just...

I mean, it's fine. I can't talk.

Okay.

♪ ...so much better than the old you ♪

♪ it's not the new you ♪

♪ it's the newer you ♪

♪ people ♪

♪ are finally gonna notice you ♪

♪ yeah. I say, who is that man? ♪

Be a man. Be a fucking man.

Good, a machine.

I relate much better to machines.

Julianne, we met when you were working with Callie,

and I want to know if you want to...

I want to know if you want to get a drink...

Or something? It's no big deal,

either way. I'm sure you're pretty busy.

But if you want, give me a call.

The number's 555-1921.

Or not. I mean, whatever.

Okay, bye.

Fuck! Do you have a name?

Fuck!

Fuck!

God, fuck.

Hi, it's Lyle Maze again.

And I don't think I left my name.

I'm the guy who just called about the drink.

I think I'll just quit while I'm behind.

That went well.

Hello?

Hello? Hello?

- Hello? - Fuck!

- Lyle? - How'd you guess?

So what is it?

Is there a theme?

Huh?

Oh, no. It's just a little house.

No, I was talking about your show.

Yeah. Is there some kind of concept?

I need some more.

So what were you saying?

Oh, the theme.

No, I just dive in.

I'm sure someone could say it's this or that,

but it's usually bullshit, you know?

I am in the magazine business.

So...

When is this show?

Sir, I have plenty of matches back here.

Oh, sorry.

Oh, shit.

I'm sorry, excuse me.

My house fell down.

Do you ever stay out at the Four Seasons Hotel in L.A.?

Can't say I have.

Well, they... They have these...

You'd probably know who the artist is.

They're incredibly realistic.

There's a guy sitting on a bench,

reading a newspaper, smoking a pipe.

And there's a woman who's like, wearing a bikini,

you know, lounging by a pool.

I've been staying there for years.

They always fake me out.

Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

That stuff feels dead to me.

It's just bodycasting. It's like the sculptor

can't transcend the body's own limitations.

It's the opposite of art.

You don't beat around the bush, do you?

- What do you want me to do? - Stop touching my wife.

- Why don't I just move. - Whatever you have to do.

I'd appreciate it.

I'm sorry.

I tend to eat early.

- Montepulciano for the lady. - Thank you.

- And for you, sir. - Yes.

- When in Rome, right? - Of course.

Rome's always a nightmare for me.

Really?

I have to go there on shoots.

It's like the Twilight Zone.

There's no logic as to why things

- show up, or don't show up. - Yeah?

For me it's a city that has

statues silhouetted against the sky.

At night, at sunset, you get these spectacular colors.

It's like they come alive, the whole city with these...

These people, these gods, flying around.

- Oh, shit. - Oh my god, oh my god.

I'm so sorry.

Oh my god. I'll get soda water.

Hey, excuse me, excuse me.

- Do you have soda water? - Relax, I'll get it for you.

I'm so sorry. They're getting soda water.

- Here's your soda water. - I'll take care of it.

You know what? I might just go to the ladies room.

Hey, hold it, what about salt?

The mark of Lyle.

I just have to say, I'm really sorry about...

It's okay, Lyle. It's okay.

I just haven't gone on a date in a long time.

That must be a shocker, huh?

Really, it's okay. You've got to stop apologizing.

- It must be hard. - Whatever. You're a good sport.

Hey, I've got to go in here for a sec,

- if you don't mind. - Sure.

Just don't use the salad bar.

I just need milk. I promise I won't go anywhere near the salad bar.

It's for your own good. Don't stand too close to it, either.

I'd like to take a Geiger counter to one of those things.

Why you touch all fruits?

- Hey, sorry. - You buy?

- Okay. - You touch, you buy.

- Okay. - Hey.

- Sorry. - You touch, you buy.

- All right man, chill out. - You touch, you buy!

- Fine, okay. - You touch, you buy.

I'll buy this, okay? This make you happy?

You pay! You pay!

Hey, hey, stop! Stop, please.

He pay. He pay.

I know him, I know him.

It's okay.

♪ when I'm alone in my room sometimes I stare at the wall ♪

♪ in the back of my mind I hear my conscience call... ♪

♪ For the first time in my life I can see I need love ♪

♪ "say no more," I whisper in your ear ♪

♪ I say, "I love you, and I will always be here..." ♪

Hey, Lyle.

It's Callie.

Why won't you call me back?

I hope you're okay. All right, bye.

♪ ...i need love ♪

♪ girl ♪

♪ listen to me ♪

♪ if you're out there, please... ♪

Hey, Lyle.

Come on, please pick up.

I know you're there.

Are you there?

Are you screening?

Is Lyle Maze actually screening a call?

Who would have thunk it?

Well... whatever.

Maybe you're not there and I'm making an ass of myself.

- I don't know. - Hey.

I just feel like a jerk.

Why? Nothing happened.

- Are you sure? - I was there.

No, I mean...

You know what I mean.

Yeah, I know.

I don't feel any different about you.

Do you feel any different about me?

No, no.

- I feel the same. - Good.

Slut.

Please note, because of my diet of frequent

small meals of non-greasy, non-spicy food,

who was it that avoided morning sickness?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - What?

Yes. See, told me to tell you,

in terms of food, if it's bad for you,

it's twice as bad for her.

Perfecto. Symmetrical.

- What's that? - Half the meal is eye appeal.

Yes, my point exactly.

Water is to the body as oil is to the engine.

I think you're going to make somebody

a great husband someday.

That makes one of us.

You deserve to be happy.

I am happy.

You know what I mean.

No, I'm not sure I do.

Love.

I don't need to be in love to be happy.

Don't you want to be?

Do we have to talk about this?

I just think social interaction as a whole is overrated.

I think tofu is overrated.

It's good for you. Just eat a little bit.

- You need protein. - It's disgusting.

I don't care. You have to eat it.

It looks like it fell out of someone's nose.

Just eat the vegetables and then a little bit of tofu.

I just can't stand it.

The machine'll get it.

- Okay. - I swear all I do is pee now.

It's totally normal.

Thank you for keeping me on the straight and narrow.

Someone has to.

Callie? Hello?

Callie, it's Mike, are you there?

We're pretty close...

Mike? Mike!

Hey! How are you? Are you all right?

No, no. No, I can't... I can't hear.

No, no, I understand.

How is it over there?

No, what?

Mike, I can't...

I can't hear you.

No.

No, I...

No, I miss you, too.

Okay. I'm busy, which is good.

No, I have not.

I haven't dropped a ton of weight.

I'm gaining, actually.

No, but...

Mike?

Hey, Mike, you're breaking up.

Mi... Are you...

Mi...

Shit.

There might be a problem with the heart.

I don't want to say too much right now because...

I can't see it.

No, wait...

No, I can't see it.

I need you to come back in a couple of hours.

'Cause hopefully the baby will have moved,

and then I'll be able to see.

I don't know what I'll do if there's something wrong.

I love this baby more than anything.

I think... You just have to wait.

How do you make a decision like that?

- Like what? - Well, if there is...

If there is something wrong,

do I go ahead and have her?

I think we should just...

Gather all the information and not get ahead of ourselves here.

I hope I didn't do anything to harm her.

You didn't. You didn't do anything.

You've been great. I... I just...

I decided on a name.

Yeah?

Willa.

Willa?

That's a great name.

That's a beautiful name.

Look.

That's a little smile on her face, isn't it?

What if they knew you had tourette's

before you were born and decided not to have you?

What would have happened?

You are getting way ahead of the situation, okay?

We just have to go back and see.

Hi, can I have the country code for Switzerland, please.

Hello, hi, uh... um...

Parlez vous francais?

No, what am I doing?

I don't speak French. No, sorry.

Doctors without borders?

Doctares without borders?

Doctare? Doctares...?

Without... borders. Er... lines.

Doctors with no divide... No... with no...

Yeah, yeah. Yeah! Yeah!

Could you tell me the country code for Burundi?

Burundi.

B-u-r-u-n-d-i.

Burundi.

You're telling me he's not in Bujumbura?

He's in Makumba? Makumba?!

Where's Makumba?

How do you spell that?

Makamba, great. Whatever.

Can you just give me an address where I can write to him?

But that's in Switzerland.

Okay, fine, great. Let me... hello?

Hello?

She's okay. Her heart's okay.

Some people believe that consciousness

starts at conception.

And that everything that the mother

sees or feels or hears

leaves like, a... trace memory.

So we have to expose Willa

to all the beauty the world has to offer.

We're looking at abstraction.

♪ ...sweeter than a honeybee ♪

♪ baby, been sweet on me ♪

♪ sweeter than a honeybee... ♪

Try this. See, Vivaldi relaxes.

- You all right? - Yeah.

I get so tired. It's like my body isn't my own.

Welcome to my life.

- Hey... - No! Enough.

This one here, "the secret life of the unborn child."

Wait, wait, wait. "The ways in which you"

"may affect his physical and emotional well-being for the rest of his life."

It's like, my mother spent a lot of time on those...

You know... The...

- The roller coasters. - She did not.

You're right, this is good.

Listen to this...

"90% of all Bradley graduates

go on to have unmedicated births."

I've got to find some of these classes.

I'd be like... "Give me the fucking drugs or I'd kill you."

You? Mister "if it's bad for you, it's twice as bad for the baby."

If you eat something that makes your stomach rumble,

it's like... It's like a Sonic blast to Willa.

I love that you call her Willa.

I can see it now, you're going to be one of those uncles...

She'd gonna confide in you more than she does in me.

That's right. Willa's having an affair with her geometry teacher.

And she's not going to talk to you about it, so don't ask her.

You'll have to come to me.

We're going to be friends for a long time, huh?

Yeah.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

Wait!

Argh!

Got it.

I can't hold these things that long.

I've had coaches that were friends,

fathers, mothers, sisters, cousins,

you name it.

Do you have to have a coach?

♪ happy feet, da da da ♪

♪ happy feet, da da da ♪

♪ happy feet, oh, how I love it ♪

I completely understand, if you don't want to do it.

I'm flattered, it's just...

I don't think I'm necessarily the best person for the job.

Trying to hold my hand is like an exercise in target practice.

Lyle, I don't care about that.

I don't even notice your tics.

All right, give me the hot sauce.

What?

What.

- Just a little. - No, no.

- It won't hurt me. - Give it to me.

♪ happy feet da da da ♪

♪ happy feet da da da ♪

♪ happy feet oh, how I love it ♪

♪ happy feet da da da... ♪

Hey...

I'd be honored to be your coach.

What are you doing?

Shhh.

Okay.

We're at times six.

Okay, that's enough for now.

Cool down period.

Still ticking, huh?

You're in fine shape. We just want to steer clear of 140 beats per minute.

♪ happy feet da da da ♪

♪ happy feet da da da ♪

♪ happy feet oh, how I love it ♪

♪ happy feet... happy feet. ♪

Hey, how do you stop plate tectonics?

Hey, good question.

Hey, Lyle, how are you doing?

Hi, I'm just... I can't get this tongue straight.

Someone could make a fortune inventing something to keep tongues straight.

I mean, what are they thinking?

I think like... Like...

Not that I have that many... Have something wrong with the tongue.

One or the other tongue is always going to the side.

I mean, it can't just be me...

My... my feet are fairly typical.

Is it like some vestige left over from the first shoe designs?

'Cause you would think that evolution would take care of that.

It's like the shoe is stuck in the middle ages.

Maybe velcro... Maybe velcro is the answer.

- Maybe velcro's the answer... - Hey, Lyle? Slow down.

You're such a character. This is Scott, my fiancé.

Ohhh.

That's a... congratulations. That's great.

Don't let me keep you. I could be here for hours.

No, no, we've just got to get to a gallery before it closes.

Yeah, yeah, go, go. Buy art. Buy lots of art. That's what I say.

- Good to see you, Lyle. - Yeah, yeah.

- Nice to meet you. - Congratulations again.

Lye...

I can't stop.

- What's going on? - I said I can't stop.

- What do you mean? - I mean...

I feel like if I don't... Break every glass I have...

Something terrible's going to happen.

Lyle, just stop. You're scaring me.

What? All of a sudden?

I've got to be a fucking man!

Lyle, just talk to me. What's going on?

I can't! Don't you get it?!

I feel like a fucking freak!

Exactly. I could never get the fucking hands.

I'm so tired.

I'm so fucking tired.

I don't want to take those pills.

What pills?

Mike left this supposed new miracle drug,

but I'm scared it's going to fuck up my work.

Oh god, you just can't understand,

you just can't. I itch so bad inside,

and I try so hard.

It's torture.

It's constant torture.

What are we doing?

What do you mean?

What's going on with us?

I keep thinking...

This is just Lyle,

my friend,

but I so love the way you are with me.

I've been hoping...

We could just deal with this after Willa's born.

I'd never be able to get close to someone

like you if it weren't for Mike.

Maybe being my coach right now is just too much.

Maybe it's just not fair.

You don't know how hard I tried not to let this happen.

I can't help it.

I mean, you're right there.

I can touch you.

Lyle...

It's your mother.

Would you call me right away?

Hello?

♪ hand me down ♪

♪ my care and woe ♪

♪ here I go ♪

♪ singing ♪

♪ low ♪

♪ bye, bye ♪

♪ blackbird ♪

♪ where somebody ♪

♪ waits for me ♪

♪ sugar sweet ♪

♪ and so is she ♪

♪ bye, bye ♪

♪ blackbird ♪

♪ no one here ♪

♪ loves and understands me ♪

♪ oh, what hard luck stories ♪

♪ they all hand me ♪

♪ make my bed ♪

♪ and light the light ♪

♪ I'll be home ♪

♪ late tonight. ♪

Mom, this is my friend Callie.

Hi.

- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

Mrs. Maze, I want you to know

how sorry I am.

Thank you.

I wish you'd had the chance to see him.

Lyle?

Fuck you, Iron Man. Fuck your mother!

Lyle!

Fuck you, Iron Man! Fuck your mother!

I can't help it!

You just be a fucking man!

Just be a man!

I'm sorry! I can't help it!

Can you sleep?

No. You?

A lot of ghosts running around your old room.

Change your mind?

I don't know what to do anymore.

Come keep me company.

I always thought that he would...

Eventually, that he would get it.

He never believed I couldn't control myself.

I know he died thinking that.

It was that bad, huh?

He was such a fuck.

I didn't want to spend my life hating him.

I didn't want to.

It was his loss. He lost out.

They don't even know me.

I left when I was 16.

Yeah.

You never talk about it.

I mean, I was relatively normal until I was eight.

They just didn't know what to do.

I started spazzing out.

I went through this phase of cursing.

It's called coprolalia.

I couldn't help it, but...

Man, I was his son.

I never met anyone who was so different from his parents.

What?

Look where we are, Lyle.

We're in your childhood bedroom.

I mean, who would have thought.

Shh.

You're gonna get me into trouble.

Shut up.

She's already confused enough trying to figure out

what's going on with us.

Why should she be any different?

Oh, wow.

Raring to go.

You're stretched out as far as you can go, huh?

Is it all right if you keep me warm?

Yeah.

Then get under the covers.

I think our brains weigh the same.

You okay, Helen?

I never knew why he always carped

about retirement.

I always thought there was something to do.

My whole life was about taking care of him.

It was my job.

I have nothing to do anymore.

Maybe you'll come into the city.

I'm having a show next month.

There's something I'd like you to have.

These are the only heirlooms we have.

This is the ring your father's father gave to Nanna.

She so loved you.

I barely remember her.

Are you sure you want to do this?

Life didn't turn out the way we planned, Lyle.

It seldom does, mom.

Your friend is very nice.

Yeah.

I like her a lot.

I know.

I was on a job.

I don't even have my toothbrush.

That's it.

You rock.

Don't go away, cam. Stay here.

Come on, Callie, remember all the work we did.

Fight the pain.

Just keep working toward relaxing the muscles.

That's not part of our birth plan.

It's only pitocin.

It's just used to contract the uterus after birth.

No, we discussed this with the doctor.

She'll be breast feeding. That contracts it naturally.

Go, Lyle.

- It's okay. - Breast is best.

That's right, breast is best.

- That a girl. - Yeah, there you go.

Come on.

- Nine centimeters. - Keep making the sounds.

- Keep making the sounds. - I can't, Lyle.

- Yeah, you can. - I can't.

Just massage my back.

Just do that. That felt good.

Okay, let's try and push your baby out.

Push. Push. Come on, push.

Fuck.

Okay, breathe through the contraction, Callie.

With me, okay?

Beautiful, nice work.

Down and out. Fantastic.

- Okay, long and gently. - Oh my god.

Oh my god, it burns.

Don't pull back, it's coming, honey.

Give me a little baby now. Push down for me.

- I'm trying. - Little push.

- Breathe. - Shut up! Shut up, Lyle!

- Shut the fuck up! - Okay, it's crowning.

There's the head.

Come on, Willa!

Okay, one more push.

Stop pushing, stop pushing.

Okay.

Hey, mommy.

Here's your healthy new baby boy.

Hello.

Hi.

It's Will.

It's Will.

Good morning, Will.

Hold on, he just walked in.

Hey, buddy.

I'm going to come down there and see you and...

Oh god, Jesus. Yeah, what's his name?

Will.

It's Will.

I understand.

Okay. Okay, bye.

Can you believe it?

I'm a father. It's so good to see you.

It's so good to see you.

- Hey, Mike. Hi. - You must be exhausted.

- Yeah. - You've been up all night.

So does he look like me, or what?

- Huh? - Yeah, Mike. He's...

- I owe you so big. - No.

Yeah.

If you knew how many babies

I delivered in the last seven months...

Come on.

You know, just after I got your letter,

I'm sitting on the side of this hill,

looking down at the hospital, and I'm trying to figure out,

"what in the hell am I doing here?"

And no matter what I thought, it all sounded like bullshit,

like a rationalization.

And then I had this realization

that we don't choose our own paths, you know?

Our paths choose us.

And there are certain sign posts along the way,

like having a baby, like being in war,

that make it crystal clear

exactly where you are.

You choose how to react, and those reactions

make you who you are. You know what I'm saying?

Mike, it's a mess.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

What are you talking about? You've been great.

You've been amazing. Thank god for you.

You know what? You gotta be the godfather.

Yeah?

Tell me, is he beautiful?

- You know, is he... - Yeah, he's...

I think he's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen.

- You all right? - Yeah, I just feel a little...

I feel...

Maybe you ought to go home and crash.

Why don't you come up and say hi first?

- She said to bring you. - Okay.

♪ ...the wind it was so insistent... ♪

I'm sorry.

I love you. Marry me.

♪ ...came a dryness in my mouth ♪

♪ came a dryness in my mouth ♪

♪ for then without rhyme or reason ♪

♪ two birds did rise up to fly ♪

♪ and where the two birds were flying ♪

♪ I swear I saw you and I ♪

♪ I swear I saw you and I... ♪

♪ I walked out this morning ♪

♪ it was like a veil had been removed from before my eyes ♪

♪ for the first time I saw the work of heaven ♪

♪ in the line where the hills had been married to the sky ♪

♪ and out of the confusion ♪

♪ where the river meets the sea ♪

♪ came things I'd never seen ♪

♪ things I'd never seen ♪

♪ I was brought ♪

♪ to my senses ♪

♪ I was blind ♪

♪ but now that I can see ♪

♪ every signpost in nature... ♪

You act like you don't even regret it.

I can't regret it. I can't.

What do you mean, "you can't"?

I mean, I can't.

What am I supposed to do with that?!

What are you supposed to do? What am I supposed to do?

Wanna know how fucked up I am? I think that kid is partly mine!

That's a problem, Lyle, because he's not.

Yeah.

Goddamn, I didn't realize

there was a statute of limitations

before your best friend moved in.

There are things in life that are out of our control.

Believe me, it's the one thing I know with any certainty.

- Hey, tell me about it. - Look, I love Callie, okay?

It's beyond my control. And you want to know something?

I've loved her since the moment I laid eyes on her,

but never, never did I allow myself to go there.

Then you owed it to me to see it coming...

And to not let it happen.

It wasn't some grand plan.

Lyle,

who has accepted you the way that I have?

Who besides me has put up with all of your bullshit?

Callie.

You can't just take whatever you want

because you've been dealt a tough hand.

I can't help it because I love her with everything that I am.

And the notion of losing her feels like it's going to rip me apart!

You're just going to have to forget it, Lyle.

No, I can't. See that's the thing,

because I can't just forget it.

I can't just... go off to Africa and get away from it.

I didn't choose this. I didn't.

You deserve to feel sorry for yourself.

You're going to have a very lonely life.

No, I may not be with Callie, but I can tell you this...

You're wrong about that.

You're wrong.

It means a lot to me that you came down, Robbie.

Thanks so much.

Hi.

It's amazing.

Amazing. Thank you.

Nice suit.

It's very debonair.

It's a little eerie.

I'm sorry I haven't called you back.

I've been a little obsessed with the show.

He looks kind of wise, doesn't he?

He does. He looks smart, right?

And peaceful.

I'll never be able to repay you, Lyle.

I could never have done this without you.

Yeah, or Mike.

Why have you been avoiding me?

I just wanted to know you were okay.

No, I'm not okay. You okay?

I just had a baby.

They pretty much force you to think about them and them only.

Yeah, well, it's good that Mike's there to help you.

- He's sleeping on the couch. - Good. That's good.

What am I supposed to do? He's Will's father.

- We had a history together. - I don't know.

We were going to spend our lives together.

Yeah, it's good. I'm glad I was able

to help you get through that period of figuring it out.

I didn't say I figured anything out.

I didn't say that.

I have a baby who's crying through the entire night.

My body is going through hell, okay?

Your hormones are switching from birthing mode to mothering mode.

And I miss my coach.

I'm right here.

I need some time.

I didn't have any time to deal with him leaving,

now he's back with the answer to life.

Come on. You just need time

to rationalize yourself back to him.

We said that we would deal with what was going on

between the two of us after I had the baby.

That looks like the baby to me.

I don't know what i'm supposed to do here.

You don't think I know I was kidding myself?

I mean, I'm a freak!

Even when I imagined us together,

I knew eventually I would have driven you nuts.

But I would do it again in a second.

'Cause I got close enough to you to understand it.

I wanted to spend my life with you,

and take care of you the way you should be taken care of.

It's been a long time since I thought that was even a possibility for me.

So I thank you, and I love you.

- And you'll never know how much, but... - Lyle.

I got to go inside, I can't... I can't...

I have to deal with these people.

Hi. Thanks.

Hey, nice to see you.

I've been thinking about why things happen the way they do.

I know now that things could never have

worked out for us given the circumstances.

But the good news is that I know myself

much better as a result of our time together.

You are such an important part of me, of my life.

And I helped to bring a person into the world.

There could be no bigger accomplishment.

I assure you that when I look back

at what happened between us,

I have no regrets.

And I hope the same is true for you as well.

So, happy birthday to young Will.

I hope I can still get to know him,

and that we can all spend some time together

and enjoy each other the way we used to.

Love, Mike.

"East Timor, Indonesia."

♪ things have been going wrong ♪

♪ long enough to know ♪

♪ everything is right ♪

♪ been walking in the dark long enough to know ♪

♪ I've finally seen the light ♪

♪ been losing long enough to know ♪

♪ when I find the one ♪

♪ and even a blind man can tell ♪

♪ when he's walking in the sun ♪

♪ I've cried enough tears to know ♪

♪ this feeling called a smile ♪

♪ I've been bottom row long enough to know ♪

♪ when I'm doing it in style ♪

♪ been runnin' long enough to know ♪

♪ there's no more need to run ♪

♪ and even a blind man can tell ♪

♪ when he's walking in the sun ♪

♪ oh, the wind is at my back ♪

♪ and I'm sailing on a ship ♪

♪ that's well overdo ♪

♪ well, I've blown so many chances ♪

♪ I ain't gonna blow this one with you ♪

♪ seen enough bad times to know ♪

♪ good times have begun ♪

♪ and even a blind man can tell ♪

♪ when he's walking in the sun ♪

♪ even a blind man can tell ♪

♪ when he's waking in the sun ♪

♪ in the sun. ♪♪