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All language subtitles for Legally Blonde 2 Red White and Blonde.2003.Bluray.1080p.h264.OCR.Synced.eng.BKG

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:39,004 --> 00:00:44,135 Look, her first high-end retail shopping experience. 2 00:00:44,209 --> 00:00:46,006 Her nanny tried to take her to Baby Gap... 3 00:00:46,077 --> 00:00:48,238 but she'd just cry and cry. 4 00:00:48,313 --> 00:00:50,804 She was a professional shopper at age three. 5 00:00:50,882 --> 00:00:52,144 Oh, wow! 6 00:00:52,217 --> 00:00:54,310 Remember when she was on the cover of "Seventeen"? 7 00:00:54,386 --> 00:00:56,911 She had so much potential back then. 8 00:00:56,988 --> 00:01:00,116 Look at her. She could have been a Playmate by now. 9 00:01:00,192 --> 00:01:02,752 Hello! She's a lawyer. 10 00:01:02,828 --> 00:01:05,319 -That's way better. -Why? 11 00:01:05,397 --> 00:01:06,762 There she is! 12 00:01:06,832 --> 00:01:09,323 You always said she has the perfect shaped head... 13 00:01:09,401 --> 00:01:12,268 for a tiara! 14 00:01:12,337 --> 00:01:15,329 Look at that slime dog! 15 00:01:15,407 --> 00:01:19,104 It was so nice of you to make this for Elle's wedding shower. 16 00:01:19,177 --> 00:01:21,611 I can't scrapbook worth a damn. 17 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:24,114 I took a class on it at community college. 18 00:01:24,182 --> 00:01:25,911 -She got a "B." -Plus! 19 00:01:28,286 --> 00:01:30,254 The day she passed her LSAT! 20 00:01:30,322 --> 00:01:32,654 I swallowed some of that Silly String. 21 00:01:32,724 --> 00:01:34,055 It wouldn't be the first time. 22 00:01:34,125 --> 00:01:37,652 Look at that. Her first day at Harvard. 23 00:01:37,729 --> 00:01:39,629 Unbelievable. Awesome. 24 00:01:39,698 --> 00:01:43,065 The Bend and Snap! 25 00:01:43,134 --> 00:01:45,864 I love that. I did it last night naked. 26 00:01:45,937 --> 00:01:49,464 -You did not. -Yes. I busted a window. 27 00:01:49,541 --> 00:01:53,238 Oh, my God, there's Bruiser's first highlights. 28 00:01:53,311 --> 00:01:55,836 Is this the key to her first office at the firm? 29 00:01:55,914 --> 00:02:00,351 Remember that Caribbean decor? It was genius. 30 00:02:00,418 --> 00:02:05,014 Look, there she is with Congresswoman Rudd... 31 00:02:05,090 --> 00:02:07,991 when they started the Harvard alumni women's event. 32 00:02:08,059 --> 00:02:10,653 -Yeah. -That's two kick-ass women. 33 00:02:10,729 --> 00:02:13,823 I like them. I really like them. 34 00:02:15,233 --> 00:02:18,532 The first day they met! Emmett loves her already. 35 00:02:18,603 --> 00:02:20,696 You can see it in his eyes. 36 00:02:20,772 --> 00:02:21,898 Emmett and Elle. 37 00:02:21,973 --> 00:02:26,034 They're truly Romeo and Juliet without the dying. 38 00:02:26,111 --> 00:02:27,408 Paulette? 39 00:02:27,479 --> 00:02:29,674 Oh, my God! Girls, I think it's her. 40 00:02:29,748 --> 00:02:32,182 -Quick! Lights out! -OK! 41 00:02:35,553 --> 00:02:37,714 Paulette? 42 00:02:37,789 --> 00:02:41,225 I thought we were supposed to be at the movies by 9:00. 43 00:02:41,293 --> 00:02:44,262 Surprise! 44 00:02:50,802 --> 00:02:52,599 We got her! 45 00:02:52,671 --> 00:02:55,003 Oh, my God! Margot, Serena, I cannot believe... 46 00:02:55,073 --> 00:02:56,734 you guys flew all the way here! 47 00:02:56,808 --> 00:02:59,208 -No biggie. -On the contrary. 48 00:02:59,277 --> 00:03:01,211 It's a huge biggie. Thank you. 49 00:03:01,279 --> 00:03:03,042 You guys are the best. 50 00:03:03,114 --> 00:03:07,244 Speaking of biggies, can we see your ring again? 51 00:03:07,319 --> 00:03:10,652 Not your Delta Nu ring, Elle. 52 00:03:10,722 --> 00:03:13,384 You mean, this one? 53 00:03:15,593 --> 00:03:18,926 Clarity between F.L. and V.V.S. Nice girdle diameter. 54 00:03:18,997 --> 00:03:21,431 Cut impeccable. It's a keeper. 55 00:03:21,499 --> 00:03:23,729 Thanks! 56 00:03:23,802 --> 00:03:26,669 Oh, my gosh, it's from Emmett! 57 00:03:26,738 --> 00:03:29,935 That's me and Emmett on Fenway baseball field. 58 00:03:30,008 --> 00:03:31,669 It's his favorite place in the whole world. 59 00:03:31,743 --> 00:03:34,871 I love snow globes. 60 00:03:36,014 --> 00:03:38,312 I can hear the ocean. 61 00:03:38,383 --> 00:03:41,318 Listen, honey, you're a full-time bride now... 62 00:03:41,386 --> 00:03:43,183 so you'll need a whole new wardrobe. 63 00:03:43,254 --> 00:03:46,485 I'm not quitting my job, you guys. 64 00:03:46,558 --> 00:03:48,617 Do you guys remember that feeling we used to get... 65 00:03:48,693 --> 00:03:50,820 during a really intense Spinning class? 66 00:03:50,895 --> 00:03:55,093 That we feel so truly amazing about ourselves? 67 00:03:55,166 --> 00:03:57,862 That's how I feel being a lawyer. I love it. 68 00:03:57,936 --> 00:04:00,928 I have this huge annual review coming up... 69 00:04:01,006 --> 00:04:03,201 so keep 'em crossed, girls. 70 00:04:03,274 --> 00:04:04,798 Crossed! 71 00:04:06,845 --> 00:04:09,006 Congratulations, you did it. 72 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:13,039 With three wrong answers, you've managed to undermine... 73 00:04:13,118 --> 00:04:17,384 the entire foundation upon which our legal system's built. 74 00:04:17,455 --> 00:04:20,822 And by the way... 75 00:04:20,892 --> 00:04:23,417 it only took me two wrong answers. 76 00:04:31,069 --> 00:04:35,631 Sweetie, you customized my ring? Again? 77 00:04:35,707 --> 00:04:38,471 Emmett, you are never going to believe my news! 78 00:04:38,543 --> 00:04:40,670 -What? -Fenway Park! 79 00:04:40,745 --> 00:04:43,737 You, me, two rings, and one recently ordained umpire... 80 00:04:43,815 --> 00:04:45,043 right on the entry field! 81 00:04:45,116 --> 00:04:47,141 Infield. What are you talking about? 82 00:04:47,218 --> 00:04:49,516 It turns out the starting pitcher for the Red Sox... 83 00:04:49,587 --> 00:04:51,714 has an unfortunate uni-brow problem. 84 00:04:51,790 --> 00:04:53,849 He goes to Nadia, my waxer... 85 00:04:53,925 --> 00:04:55,756 so the team pulled some strings with the site manager... 86 00:04:55,827 --> 00:04:57,488 and we're getting married at Fenway! 87 00:04:57,562 --> 00:05:00,053 Are you serious? 88 00:05:00,131 --> 00:05:03,362 Are you sure this is what you want to do? 89 00:05:03,435 --> 00:05:07,098 I can married anywhere and it wouldn't matter. 90 00:05:07,172 --> 00:05:09,003 That's a lie. 91 00:05:09,074 --> 00:05:13,773 I'm getting married under the Green Monster! 92 00:05:13,845 --> 00:05:15,836 Yes! 93 00:05:15,914 --> 00:05:17,882 And in just three months and four days! 94 00:05:17,949 --> 00:05:20,213 Emmett, we have so much to talk about. 95 00:05:20,285 --> 00:05:23,254 I want everybody who matters to us to be there. 96 00:05:25,190 --> 00:05:27,954 Oh, my God! I almost forgot! 97 00:05:29,694 --> 00:05:30,628 You want me to what? 98 00:05:30,628 --> 00:05:31,959 You want me to what? 99 00:05:32,030 --> 00:05:34,590 A biological birth parent search. 100 00:05:34,666 --> 00:05:36,531 For your dog. 101 00:05:36,601 --> 00:05:39,968 For my Chihuahua-American Bruiser Woods. 102 00:05:40,038 --> 00:05:43,633 I found him abandoned years ago. 103 00:05:43,708 --> 00:05:47,439 Miss, I'm the highest-paid, most sought after... 104 00:05:47,512 --> 00:05:50,572 private investigator in the greater Boston area. 105 00:05:50,648 --> 00:05:52,275 That's precisely why we came to you, Detective. 106 00:05:52,350 --> 00:05:56,047 It is absolutely vital that we find Bruiser's mother pronto. 107 00:05:56,121 --> 00:06:00,387 His father might be more difficult. You know dogs. 108 00:06:00,458 --> 00:06:01,823 May I ask why? 109 00:06:01,893 --> 00:06:03,827 Of course. "Martha Stewart Weddings"... 110 00:06:03,895 --> 00:06:06,762 recommends a 4 to 6-week window for RSVPs... 111 00:06:06,831 --> 00:06:09,356 and I can't send the invitation without an address. 112 00:06:09,434 --> 00:06:12,801 And the sooner I get started on the calligraphy the better. 113 00:06:12,871 --> 00:06:15,806 You want to send an invitation to your wedding... 114 00:06:15,874 --> 00:06:18,434 to your dog's mother. And you're serious? 115 00:06:18,510 --> 00:06:19,841 Detective, if I have to make room... 116 00:06:19,911 --> 00:06:21,845 for my second cousin's vegan diet coach... 117 00:06:21,913 --> 00:06:23,642 you better believe I'll make room for the mother... 118 00:06:23,715 --> 00:06:26,411 of the one loving creature who's always been there for me. 119 00:06:26,484 --> 00:06:29,612 In fact, I can't believe I haven't done this sooner! 120 00:06:29,687 --> 00:06:32,451 I'm thinking the same thing. 121 00:06:39,664 --> 00:06:41,495 -Elle! -Hi, Mr. Blaine. 122 00:06:41,566 --> 00:06:43,830 -The client is thrilled. -Good! 123 00:06:43,902 --> 00:06:46,302 How you seamlessly negotiated that deal? 124 00:06:46,371 --> 00:06:49,807 -It was simply magnifique. -Thank you. 125 00:06:49,874 --> 00:06:51,102 Big staff meeting today, kiddo. 126 00:06:51,176 --> 00:06:54,737 All right. I got my fingers crossed. 127 00:06:54,812 --> 00:06:57,246 Milton, two shots, extra foam. 128 00:06:57,315 --> 00:06:59,977 -Wow. Thanks, E.W. -No problem! 129 00:07:00,051 --> 00:07:02,315 -Go get 'em today. -Thanks. 130 00:07:02,387 --> 00:07:04,355 Soy for you, honey. No dairy. 131 00:07:04,422 --> 00:07:06,253 That's right. Thank you. Your call list is endless. 132 00:07:06,324 --> 00:07:08,292 -It is? -We better get right on it. 133 00:07:09,827 --> 00:07:12,318 Kevin, you shouldn't have! 134 00:07:12,397 --> 00:07:14,865 I'm not sure they're giving me the promotion today. 135 00:07:14,933 --> 00:07:16,867 It's just a widespread yet credible rumor. 136 00:07:16,935 --> 00:07:19,460 It's from me and the girls. 137 00:07:19,537 --> 00:07:21,232 Oh, right! 138 00:07:23,374 --> 00:07:24,898 Now do me. 139 00:07:28,279 --> 00:07:30,543 I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. 140 00:07:30,615 --> 00:07:32,344 -Me, too! -You do? 141 00:07:32,417 --> 00:07:34,476 I had no idea I could be this happy... 142 00:07:34,552 --> 00:07:37,419 without accruing credit card debt. 143 00:07:37,488 --> 00:07:39,251 Already? 144 00:07:39,324 --> 00:07:42,691 Well, Miss Woods, even the weird ones get cracked. 145 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:45,524 -You ready? -Yes! 146 00:07:47,832 --> 00:07:50,426 Bruiser Woods... 147 00:07:50,501 --> 00:07:53,026 meet your mom. 148 00:07:53,104 --> 00:07:55,902 Bruiser...your cheekbones. 149 00:07:57,842 --> 00:07:59,275 And it's all in there. 150 00:07:59,344 --> 00:08:01,812 Good luck finding whatever it is you're looking for. 151 00:08:03,548 --> 00:08:07,006 Oh, my God! She's a Bostonian! 152 00:08:09,654 --> 00:08:12,782 Bruiser, we're here! 153 00:08:12,857 --> 00:08:14,688 As your adoptive mother, I'm sure you're nervous... 154 00:08:14,759 --> 00:08:16,192 about meeting your birth mother... 155 00:08:16,261 --> 00:08:20,823 but hear her out, OK? I'm sure she had her reasons. 156 00:08:20,898 --> 00:08:23,298 Bruiser, your mother lives at... 157 00:08:23,368 --> 00:08:25,097 the top secret Versace think-tank! 158 00:08:25,169 --> 00:08:27,228 I told you they had one! 159 00:08:27,305 --> 00:08:28,431 No, ma'am. 160 00:08:28,506 --> 00:08:30,736 Unless you have a pass, you cannot go up there. 161 00:08:30,808 --> 00:08:32,742 Lucky I always keep it on me. 162 00:08:32,810 --> 00:08:36,211 Hold on. It's right here. 163 00:08:36,281 --> 00:08:37,942 There you go. 164 00:08:38,016 --> 00:08:40,075 What is it? 165 00:08:40,151 --> 00:08:41,778 It's my double platinum V.V.I.P. Versace... 166 00:08:41,853 --> 00:08:43,912 Preferred Customer identification card. 167 00:08:43,988 --> 00:08:47,219 Available only to those that've shopped on five continents. 168 00:08:47,292 --> 00:08:49,123 If that fails to satisfy you, you can also contact... 169 00:08:49,193 --> 00:08:51,753 Billy Dailey, head of customer relations. 170 00:08:51,829 --> 00:08:53,160 You got the wrong VERSACE, lady. 171 00:08:53,231 --> 00:08:55,392 Really? Donatella's not here? 172 00:08:55,466 --> 00:08:56,763 Bruiser, where are you going? 173 00:08:56,834 --> 00:08:58,927 Bruiser! 174 00:08:59,003 --> 00:09:00,300 Ma'am! 175 00:09:03,141 --> 00:09:04,335 Bruiser? 176 00:09:04,409 --> 00:09:06,877 Get back here! 177 00:09:06,944 --> 00:09:09,003 Where are you going? 178 00:09:11,382 --> 00:09:14,943 Bruiser, I didn't know you were so athletic. 179 00:09:20,425 --> 00:09:23,394 What is it? 180 00:09:28,533 --> 00:09:29,830 Oh, my God! 181 00:09:33,938 --> 00:09:36,839 You, come here! 182 00:09:36,908 --> 00:09:40,002 Come on! Open this door immediately! 183 00:09:40,078 --> 00:09:41,272 What are you doing here? 184 00:09:41,346 --> 00:09:46,045 You have my dog's mom, and I need her right now! 185 00:09:46,117 --> 00:09:48,142 Absolutely not. I'm not authorized to release... 186 00:09:48,219 --> 00:09:50,187 any subjects from their containment units. 187 00:09:50,254 --> 00:09:53,155 I'm not even allowed to have a key. 188 00:09:53,224 --> 00:09:55,249 Swallow the thing one time, and all of a sudden... 189 00:09:55,326 --> 00:09:58,227 you're the weird key swallower who can't be trusted. 190 00:09:59,697 --> 00:10:02,291 I don't think you're understanding me. 191 00:10:02,367 --> 00:10:03,834 I'm willing to pay for her. 192 00:10:03,901 --> 00:10:05,493 These animals aren't for sale, ma'am. 193 00:10:05,570 --> 00:10:07,299 They're the legal property of this facility. 194 00:10:07,372 --> 00:10:10,671 What kind of facility is this? 195 00:10:14,011 --> 00:10:15,808 Mr. Livermore, I'm so sorry! 196 00:10:15,880 --> 00:10:19,281 Elle, this VERSACE is a cosmetic testing facility. 197 00:10:19,350 --> 00:10:22,513 -Oh, no! -Bruiser's mom's a test subject. 198 00:10:22,587 --> 00:10:24,418 I want her out of there immediately. 199 00:10:24,489 --> 00:10:26,514 Animal test subjects can only be surrendered... 200 00:10:26,591 --> 00:10:28,923 on a voluntary basis, and they're not volunteering. 201 00:10:28,993 --> 00:10:31,518 After I get through with them, they'll be begging. 202 00:10:31,596 --> 00:10:33,029 And I'm not just taking Bruiser's mom. 203 00:10:33,097 --> 00:10:36,066 I'll bust all those dogs out of that doggie dungeon. 204 00:10:36,134 --> 00:10:38,466 "Research Science and Critter Exploitation"? 205 00:10:38,536 --> 00:10:41,699 This VERSACE's owned by the C'est Magnifique Corporation! 206 00:10:41,773 --> 00:10:43,400 That's fantastic! 207 00:10:43,474 --> 00:10:45,874 Our law firm represents C'est Magnifique. 208 00:10:45,943 --> 00:10:47,570 We can tell them to fix this. 209 00:10:47,645 --> 00:10:50,170 I can't wait to take this to the partners. 210 00:10:50,248 --> 00:10:53,342 But how are you going to convince them? 211 00:10:53,418 --> 00:10:55,386 Presenting... 212 00:10:58,523 --> 00:11:02,619 Abandoned at birth, I was on my own at an early age... 213 00:11:02,693 --> 00:11:07,562 fighting for survival on the streets of Beverly Hills... 214 00:11:07,632 --> 00:11:11,033 making his way down the boulevard of broken dreams, 215 00:11:11,102 --> 00:11:14,435 turning tricks at Hollywood and Vine... 216 00:11:14,505 --> 00:11:16,837 yet even when I found a loving mother... 217 00:11:16,908 --> 00:11:20,309 I couldn't shake this nagging emptiness in my heart. 218 00:11:20,378 --> 00:11:23,006 It was like a void. When I looked in the mirror... 219 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:25,071 who was it that was looking back at me? 220 00:11:25,149 --> 00:11:27,640 This is Bruiser's question. 221 00:11:27,718 --> 00:11:31,745 And in a way, aren't we all Bruisers? 222 00:11:31,823 --> 00:11:35,088 I think yes. Thank you. 223 00:11:37,495 --> 00:11:40,225 Ms. Woods, this is a law firm... 224 00:11:40,298 --> 00:11:43,096 not an animal rights advocacy group. 225 00:11:43,167 --> 00:11:45,601 We're lawyers. We have to fight for justice. 226 00:11:45,670 --> 00:11:47,604 And this is definitely unjust. 227 00:11:47,672 --> 00:11:51,438 In this case, the cost of beauty is way too high. 228 00:11:51,509 --> 00:11:53,875 I can't believe I said that, but it's true. 229 00:11:53,945 --> 00:11:56,004 What we fight for... 230 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,378 is our clients and their best interests. 231 00:11:58,449 --> 00:12:02,146 But isn't doing the right thing in everybody's best interest? 232 00:12:02,220 --> 00:12:05,212 I think you're confusing the right thing and the law. 233 00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:08,952 You didn't think they were the same, did you? 234 00:12:09,026 --> 00:12:12,086 Why don't we get back to business... 235 00:12:12,163 --> 00:12:14,654 and discuss your very bright future? 236 00:12:14,732 --> 00:12:16,723 Pardon me, I don't mean to interrupt... 237 00:12:16,801 --> 00:12:20,202 but I just-- What you're saying is... 238 00:12:20,271 --> 00:12:22,899 if C'est Magnifique follows the letter of the law... 239 00:12:22,974 --> 00:12:26,410 even if it ends up hurting living beings... 240 00:12:26,477 --> 00:12:30,675 we're just doing our job? 241 00:12:30,748 --> 00:12:34,479 I'm sorry, Mr. Blaine... 242 00:12:34,552 --> 00:12:37,885 I don't think I can work with people who believe that. 243 00:12:40,258 --> 00:12:44,058 You know what? You're right. 244 00:12:44,128 --> 00:12:46,392 Thank you, Mr. Blaine. 245 00:12:46,464 --> 00:12:48,659 You shouldn't have to work with people who believe that. 246 00:12:48,733 --> 00:12:50,792 Absolutely. I knew you would understand. 247 00:12:50,868 --> 00:12:53,132 You're fired, Elle. 248 00:12:53,204 --> 00:12:54,694 What? 249 00:12:54,772 --> 00:12:58,538 We only have room for serious lawyers here. 250 00:12:58,609 --> 00:13:02,477 Take the rest of the day to clear out your things. 251 00:13:02,547 --> 00:13:06,540 But the secretarial pool already gave me a balloon. 252 00:13:06,617 --> 00:13:09,108 Keep the balloon, if you wish. 253 00:13:19,697 --> 00:13:22,165 Please, Emmett, just go away. 254 00:13:22,233 --> 00:13:24,531 Why don't you come on out, sweetie? 255 00:13:24,602 --> 00:13:26,695 I know Bruiser doesn't blame you. 256 00:13:26,771 --> 00:13:29,638 But I'm all he has to speak for him in this world... 257 00:13:29,707 --> 00:13:31,174 and I have completely failed him. 258 00:13:31,242 --> 00:13:35,235 You know what I thought the first time I saw you? 259 00:13:35,313 --> 00:13:38,714 "God, that woman wears a lot of pink"? 260 00:13:38,783 --> 00:13:42,981 No. I thought... 261 00:13:43,054 --> 00:13:45,648 "That woman is really special." 262 00:13:45,723 --> 00:13:50,057 "She believes she can make a difference and she will." 263 00:13:50,127 --> 00:13:54,962 So...come on out and let's talk about it. 264 00:13:55,032 --> 00:13:57,057 No. 265 00:13:57,134 --> 00:14:00,934 We could go over some wedding details. 266 00:14:03,808 --> 00:14:06,242 How about that? It revolves. 267 00:14:06,310 --> 00:14:07,607 And it illuminates. 268 00:14:07,678 --> 00:14:10,010 It's even got the Red Sox colors. 269 00:14:10,081 --> 00:14:12,481 That's fantastic, honey! 270 00:14:12,550 --> 00:14:14,711 Speaking of red socks... 271 00:14:14,785 --> 00:14:16,650 you're not getting cold feet, are you? 272 00:14:16,721 --> 00:14:17,949 About what? 273 00:14:18,022 --> 00:14:20,650 How's it going to look? A Harvard law professor... 274 00:14:20,725 --> 00:14:23,193 married to a lawyer who got fired from her first job. 275 00:14:23,260 --> 00:14:25,251 Fired for something she believes in. 276 00:14:25,329 --> 00:14:26,887 It's going to look like... 277 00:14:26,964 --> 00:14:32,095 "There goes the luckiest guy in the whole world." 278 00:14:33,204 --> 00:14:35,229 Thanks. 279 00:14:43,014 --> 00:14:46,006 Holy crap! 280 00:14:46,083 --> 00:14:50,144 It's gorgeous! 281 00:14:50,221 --> 00:14:52,246 The material keeps falling apart. 282 00:14:52,323 --> 00:14:53,847 No! 283 00:14:53,924 --> 00:14:56,119 Amy, is something wrong? 284 00:14:58,329 --> 00:15:00,854 You can't do a scallop trim on the outer hoop skirt. 285 00:15:00,931 --> 00:15:03,764 The material's too delicate. It'll just fall apart. 286 00:15:03,834 --> 00:15:06,064 But in two out of three home tests it held. 287 00:15:06,137 --> 00:15:08,128 I am so sorry, Elle. 288 00:15:12,576 --> 00:15:15,101 No biggie. I guess I don't need... 289 00:15:15,179 --> 00:15:18,046 a scallop trim on the outer hoop skirt. 290 00:15:18,115 --> 00:15:20,208 I'll be fine. 291 00:15:20,284 --> 00:15:22,218 What is it that you said back when I couldn't... 292 00:15:22,286 --> 00:15:26,120 fit into my white spandex pantsuit for my wedding? 293 00:15:26,190 --> 00:15:27,714 If the fabric doesn't work with you... 294 00:15:27,792 --> 00:15:29,521 don't work with it. 295 00:15:29,593 --> 00:15:30,753 It's one of my favorite mantras. 296 00:15:30,828 --> 00:15:34,229 That is so true, and I know the most perfect organza! 297 00:15:34,298 --> 00:15:37,233 Or something really classy like... 298 00:15:37,301 --> 00:15:39,826 Like white leather! 299 00:15:39,904 --> 00:15:43,067 I'll call the guy that did my car seats. 300 00:15:43,140 --> 00:15:46,541 Wait...that's it. 301 00:15:46,610 --> 00:15:51,013 Don't fight the fabric. Change it. 302 00:15:51,082 --> 00:15:53,915 OK, but white leather? 303 00:15:55,486 --> 00:15:58,819 If the law is what's keeping Bruiser's mother locked up... 304 00:15:58,889 --> 00:16:01,187 I shouldn't be fighting it, I should be changing it. 305 00:16:01,258 --> 00:16:04,159 Everybody, I'm going to make... 306 00:16:04,228 --> 00:16:06,560 animal testing for cosmetics illegal! 307 00:16:06,630 --> 00:16:10,396 I know that making a dog wear mascara and blush is wrong... 308 00:16:10,468 --> 00:16:12,333 This isn't just about Bruiser's mom anymore... 309 00:16:12,403 --> 00:16:13,961 this is about the fact that every day... 310 00:16:14,038 --> 00:16:16,336 that I put on my Gold Goddess luminescent blush... 311 00:16:16,407 --> 00:16:19,604 some poor little innocent animal might be suffering for it. 312 00:16:19,677 --> 00:16:21,804 You don't realize how horrible something is... 313 00:16:21,879 --> 00:16:23,506 until it happens to you personally. 314 00:16:23,581 --> 00:16:25,378 Like breastfeeding. 315 00:16:25,449 --> 00:16:28,179 And if I want to give a voice to Bruiser... 316 00:16:28,252 --> 00:16:30,584 I have to go to the place that gave a voice to the people! 317 00:16:30,654 --> 00:16:35,557 Oh, my God! The headquarters of "Cosmopolitan" magazine! 318 00:16:37,161 --> 00:16:39,857 Better! Ladies... 319 00:16:39,930 --> 00:16:41,989 I'm going to Washington! 320 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:44,526 D.C., here I come! 321 00:16:44,602 --> 00:16:47,070 If anybody can handle this, it's you, honey. 322 00:16:47,138 --> 00:16:50,665 I got a call from the Delta Nu 24-hour housing hotline. 323 00:16:50,741 --> 00:16:52,106 Your apartment's all set. 324 00:16:52,176 --> 00:16:54,508 -Great! -Elle! 325 00:16:56,013 --> 00:17:01,110 Oh, my God! You look like the Fourth of July! 326 00:17:01,185 --> 00:17:04,621 Makes me want a hot dog real bad. 327 00:17:04,688 --> 00:17:08,124 Yeah, OK. You got to get going, honey. 328 00:17:08,192 --> 00:17:09,352 OK. 329 00:17:10,895 --> 00:17:12,829 -Elle, look at this. -What's that? 330 00:17:12,897 --> 00:17:14,865 According to "Animal Fair" magazine... 331 00:17:14,932 --> 00:17:17,799 your new boss is the best groomed woman in Washington. 332 00:17:17,868 --> 00:17:20,268 Her beagle's name is Dolly Madison... 333 00:17:20,337 --> 00:17:23,773 which is my grandma's stripper name. 334 00:17:23,841 --> 00:17:25,604 Isn't that a good sign? 335 00:17:25,676 --> 00:17:27,371 Oh, my gosh. A job with a brilliant congresswoman... 336 00:17:27,444 --> 00:17:28,775 who's also a fellow Harvard alum. 337 00:17:28,846 --> 00:17:32,009 You'll do great, Elle. It's destiny. 338 00:17:32,082 --> 00:17:34,209 But isn't planning the wedding of the century... 339 00:17:34,285 --> 00:17:37,379 and changing the law kind of hard? 340 00:17:37,454 --> 00:17:40,048 Paulette, I taught Bruiser how to shop online. 341 00:17:40,124 --> 00:17:43,093 I think I can handle Congress. 342 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:45,560 See ya. 343 00:18:23,634 --> 00:18:26,000 Home sweet home. You ready? 344 00:18:26,070 --> 00:18:27,469 OK. 345 00:18:27,538 --> 00:18:28,971 Welcome to the Wellington, ma'am. 346 00:18:29,039 --> 00:18:31,098 It's a thrill to be here! 347 00:18:50,194 --> 00:18:52,185 Time to legislate! 348 00:18:54,398 --> 00:18:55,865 No. 349 00:18:59,737 --> 00:19:01,728 Too Nancy. 350 00:19:01,805 --> 00:19:04,069 Too Hillary. 351 00:19:04,141 --> 00:19:06,939 Too Monica. 352 00:19:07,011 --> 00:19:09,775 Too perfect for words! 353 00:19:15,552 --> 00:19:17,417 Hi! 354 00:19:17,488 --> 00:19:20,252 Good morning, fellow public servants. 355 00:19:20,324 --> 00:19:22,087 It's my first day. 356 00:19:26,630 --> 00:19:27,790 Nice briefcase. 357 00:19:27,865 --> 00:19:30,390 Huh? Thank you. 358 00:19:32,903 --> 00:19:34,564 Hi! 359 00:19:39,209 --> 00:19:43,407 Last item on our agenda--Elle Woods. 360 00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:45,505 Personal Rudd hire, taking up a bill... 361 00:19:45,582 --> 00:19:48,312 on animal testing in the cosmetic industry. 362 00:19:48,385 --> 00:19:50,114 I'm sorry, Rudd's backing that? 363 00:19:50,187 --> 00:19:51,677 Matter of conscience, whatever. 364 00:19:51,755 --> 00:19:54,485 Who knows? Maybe it'll boost our female demographic. 365 00:19:54,558 --> 00:19:56,458 The point is we're animal lovers now. 366 00:19:56,527 --> 00:20:00,361 If this is so important to Rudd, shouldn't I be handling it? 367 00:20:00,431 --> 00:20:03,264 No, Timothy, not when we have a woman... 368 00:20:03,334 --> 00:20:05,268 who according to Rudd, is one of the shrewdest... 369 00:20:05,336 --> 00:20:07,531 Legal and political minds of our time. 370 00:20:09,673 --> 00:20:13,006 Hello, patriots! 371 00:20:13,077 --> 00:20:14,544 I don't think I've been this excited... 372 00:20:14,611 --> 00:20:16,806 since Gucci became a publicly traded company. 373 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:20,441 Oh, my God, it's Capitol Barbie. 374 00:20:20,517 --> 00:20:22,644 She's so shiny. 375 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:24,620 So where should I start? 376 00:20:24,688 --> 00:20:26,155 Excuse me, sweetie? 377 00:20:26,223 --> 00:20:29,818 Intern orientation is down the hall in Room 216. 378 00:20:29,893 --> 00:20:33,624 That's before 217 and after 215. 379 00:20:33,697 --> 00:20:35,995 Oh, my God! That is so sweet of you! 380 00:20:36,066 --> 00:20:37,863 You think I'm an intern? 381 00:20:37,935 --> 00:20:40,870 That anti-wrinkle all-salmon diet really works. 382 00:20:40,938 --> 00:20:42,132 Who are you? 383 00:20:42,206 --> 00:20:46,768 -I'm sorry-- -Elle Woods, welcome! 384 00:20:46,844 --> 00:20:49,404 I haven't seen you since the alumni meeting! 385 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,711 -I know! How are you? -Good! 386 00:20:52,783 --> 00:20:54,774 This is Elle Woods, everyone. 387 00:20:54,852 --> 00:20:58,117 Basically me when I first came to D.C... 388 00:20:58,188 --> 00:21:01,282 so make her feel at home. 389 00:21:01,358 --> 00:21:02,916 You ready to hit the ground running? 390 00:21:02,993 --> 00:21:05,018 Are these not my comfortable heels? 391 00:21:05,095 --> 00:21:09,156 -Cute shoes. -Thank you. They are comfy. 392 00:21:10,501 --> 00:21:12,992 Here's Bruiser. Welcome. 393 00:21:14,471 --> 00:21:17,668 Oh, you little sugar! 394 00:21:17,741 --> 00:21:19,470 Back her up, people. 395 00:21:19,543 --> 00:21:22,410 This is the most collaborative bunch on the Hill... 396 00:21:22,479 --> 00:21:24,106 So gather them together... 397 00:21:24,181 --> 00:21:26,149 talk strategy as soon as you get settled in. 398 00:21:26,216 --> 00:21:27,774 -And, Elle? -Yes? 399 00:21:27,851 --> 00:21:30,877 -Welcome to Washington. -Thank you! 400 00:21:30,954 --> 00:21:33,889 Okey-dokey. 401 00:21:33,957 --> 00:21:36,858 I missed the part about where my office is. 402 00:21:36,927 --> 00:21:39,760 The desk. Right here. 403 00:21:43,067 --> 00:21:46,468 All righty. Then I'm going to need a glue gun... 404 00:21:46,537 --> 00:21:50,633 some pinking shears, and five yards of grosgrain ribbon. 405 00:21:50,707 --> 00:21:52,698 Yeah, that'll do it. 406 00:21:55,813 --> 00:21:58,145 Well, look at you. 407 00:21:58,215 --> 00:22:00,206 You can run your wedding coordinator business... 408 00:22:00,284 --> 00:22:02,115 during all that legislative downtime. 409 00:22:02,186 --> 00:22:03,676 Don't be silly, Grace. 410 00:22:03,754 --> 00:22:05,984 This is to plan my own wedding to Emmett. 411 00:22:06,056 --> 00:22:08,718 See, this is us. He had this made for me. 412 00:22:08,792 --> 00:22:11,955 That's him, and that's me smiling. 413 00:22:12,029 --> 00:22:13,394 Maybe he'll make one of you and me. 414 00:22:13,464 --> 00:22:15,227 You'll be talking and I'll be throwing up. 415 00:22:15,299 --> 00:22:17,767 Speaking of nuptials, wait till I tell... 416 00:22:17,835 --> 00:22:19,496 the congresswoman that I was invited... 417 00:22:19,570 --> 00:22:21,504 to John McCain's nephew's wedding. 418 00:22:21,572 --> 00:22:23,437 He's really quite a sweet kid. 419 00:22:23,507 --> 00:22:25,099 Tell me something, Timothy... 420 00:22:25,175 --> 00:22:27,735 is it difficult for you to breathe with... 421 00:22:27,811 --> 00:22:29,972 your mouth flat against your employer's butt? 422 00:22:30,047 --> 00:22:32,675 I don't know, Grace. Is it difficult to see... 423 00:22:32,749 --> 00:22:34,808 with your head in the Minority Whip's lap? 424 00:22:34,885 --> 00:22:37,115 It was the distinguished gentlemen from Iowa. 425 00:22:37,187 --> 00:22:39,849 His wife had recently left him and we just talked. 426 00:22:39,923 --> 00:22:42,892 Right. Because if you did "visit" his district... 427 00:22:42,960 --> 00:22:45,394 you should've gotten some legislation out of it. 428 00:22:45,462 --> 00:22:46,588 How would you even know... 429 00:22:46,663 --> 00:22:49,131 when you're busy chasing interns on a skateboard? 430 00:22:49,199 --> 00:22:52,066 Excuse me? Who wants to talk animal testing? 431 00:22:52,136 --> 00:22:54,502 Write a bill, Britney. I don't have a car! 432 00:23:00,477 --> 00:23:01,876 Snap Cup time 433 00:23:01,945 --> 00:23:04,243 Gather ye round 434 00:23:04,314 --> 00:23:07,112 Friends and foes together 435 00:23:07,184 --> 00:23:09,618 United and bound 436 00:23:09,686 --> 00:23:12,018 Pass it to your neighbor 437 00:23:12,089 --> 00:23:14,216 Instead of blowing up 438 00:23:14,291 --> 00:23:16,521 And we'll find harmony and love 439 00:23:16,593 --> 00:23:18,857 In the Snap Cup! 440 00:23:20,364 --> 00:23:22,798 Don't tell me you don't know what a Snap Cup is? 441 00:23:24,701 --> 00:23:26,635 OK, I'll explain it. 442 00:23:26,703 --> 00:23:29,934 You are going to write down an anonymous praise note... 443 00:23:30,007 --> 00:23:31,941 on a little warm fuzzy. 444 00:23:32,009 --> 00:23:33,169 Warm fuzzy? 445 00:23:33,243 --> 00:23:34,676 Yes. Compliments about your co-workers. 446 00:23:34,745 --> 00:23:36,007 Just something nice. 447 00:23:36,079 --> 00:23:39,446 Then you deposit them in the sacred vessel. 448 00:23:39,516 --> 00:23:42,974 The Snap Cup is essential to any bipartisan environment. 449 00:23:43,053 --> 00:23:44,918 Consider 1998 Spring Carnival. 450 00:23:44,988 --> 00:23:48,014 The Delta Nus partnered with the Kappa Kappa Gammas... 451 00:23:48,091 --> 00:23:50,958 on Project Kissing Booth. Big problems. 452 00:23:51,028 --> 00:23:52,222 Go ahead, write. 453 00:23:52,296 --> 00:23:54,526 So, a whole heated debate transpired... 454 00:23:54,598 --> 00:23:56,657 over the whole tongue-no tongue policy. 455 00:23:56,733 --> 00:23:58,564 I think you know what side the Kappas were on. 456 00:23:58,635 --> 00:24:01,570 Anyway, it really helped us move past the conflict... 457 00:24:01,638 --> 00:24:03,128 and I think it can help us today. 458 00:24:03,207 --> 00:24:06,574 Let's just try this, OK? 459 00:24:06,643 --> 00:24:08,975 Thank you, Reena. Thank you. 460 00:24:09,046 --> 00:24:10,240 Thanks for that. 461 00:24:10,314 --> 00:24:12,407 Thank you, Timothy. 462 00:24:13,784 --> 00:24:20,053 So now, the Snap Cup mistress--me--recites. 463 00:24:21,091 --> 00:24:22,888 Good, I got mine. 464 00:24:24,228 --> 00:24:27,527 "Grace always has the confidence to speak her mind. 465 00:24:27,598 --> 00:24:30,658 "Plus, she looks terrific in charcoal." 466 00:24:30,734 --> 00:24:33,134 And, voilà, snaps for Grace! 467 00:24:33,203 --> 00:24:36,172 You see? Our first Snap Cup! 468 00:24:36,240 --> 00:24:40,142 This is so exciting! I wonder what'll happen next? 469 00:24:40,210 --> 00:24:43,179 All right, this is... 470 00:24:43,247 --> 00:24:47,707 "What do Elle Woods and the Snap Cup have in common?" 471 00:24:47,784 --> 00:24:50,014 A riddle. That's so cool. 472 00:24:50,087 --> 00:24:51,611 I love riddles. 473 00:24:51,688 --> 00:24:54,521 "They're both..." 474 00:24:57,761 --> 00:24:59,820 "stupid." 475 00:24:59,896 --> 00:25:01,625 Enough already. 476 00:25:01,698 --> 00:25:04,496 Maybe we can do something actually worthwhile... 477 00:25:04,568 --> 00:25:06,001 Like attend the hearing of the committee... 478 00:25:06,069 --> 00:25:08,333 you need to crack. I'll take you myself. 479 00:25:08,405 --> 00:25:12,364 Thank you, Grace. That's very generous of you. 480 00:25:12,442 --> 00:25:15,812 See, I think the Snap Cup really works. 481 00:25:18,949 --> 00:25:20,109 Wow. 482 00:25:20,183 --> 00:25:22,447 Good morning. 483 00:25:22,519 --> 00:25:25,613 This is just like on C-SPAN except I'm not bored. 484 00:25:25,689 --> 00:25:27,020 You're in the wrong room, sweetheart. 485 00:25:27,090 --> 00:25:28,990 Intern orientation is in room... 486 00:25:29,059 --> 00:25:32,256 216? Yes, I've heard. Thank you. 487 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,963 Hi, I'm Elle Woods. I'm not an intern. 488 00:25:40,037 --> 00:25:41,527 Rob Cole. Me, neither. 489 00:25:41,605 --> 00:25:44,130 I'm the new legislative aide to Congresswoman Rudd. 490 00:25:44,207 --> 00:25:46,232 I'm an old congressman from Delaware. 491 00:25:46,310 --> 00:25:49,802 I've been to Delaware! No sales tax. Good one, sir. 492 00:25:50,847 --> 00:25:53,247 Committee is called to order. 493 00:25:55,185 --> 00:25:59,144 Welcome to the special meeting of the... 494 00:25:59,222 --> 00:26:00,689 Excuse me. Sorry. 495 00:26:00,757 --> 00:26:03,419 Committee of Energy and Commerce. 496 00:26:03,493 --> 00:26:07,327 Before we turn to our official agenda... 497 00:26:07,397 --> 00:26:09,490 are there any introductory remarks? 498 00:26:09,566 --> 00:26:11,227 Madam chairwoman... 499 00:26:11,301 --> 00:26:13,132 Grace Rossiter, chief of staff... 500 00:26:13,203 --> 00:26:15,000 Representative Rudd, Massachusetts. 501 00:26:15,072 --> 00:26:16,835 As our newest legislative assistant... 502 00:26:16,907 --> 00:26:20,570 will be spearheading a campaign under your committee... 503 00:26:20,644 --> 00:26:22,373 I'm sure she'd love the floor. 504 00:26:22,446 --> 00:26:26,712 Thus I yield to my colleague, the lady in hot pink. 505 00:26:26,783 --> 00:26:29,377 You have the floor, lady in hot pink. 506 00:26:29,453 --> 00:26:30,920 Me? 507 00:26:30,987 --> 00:26:34,855 Would you care to more specifically identify yourself? 508 00:26:34,925 --> 00:26:36,517 Oh, sure! 509 00:26:36,593 --> 00:26:39,790 My name is Elle Woods, Boston by way of Bel Air. 510 00:26:39,863 --> 00:26:41,626 And as my surname would suggest... 511 00:26:41,698 --> 00:26:44,326 I am a passionate advocate for everything in nature... 512 00:26:44,401 --> 00:26:45,561 and a contented citizen... 513 00:26:45,635 --> 00:26:48,195 until my short haired Chihuahua, Bruiser... 514 00:26:48,271 --> 00:26:51,468 brought me face-to-face with the animal testing issue. 515 00:26:51,541 --> 00:26:52,940 You're out of order, Miss Woods. 516 00:26:53,009 --> 00:26:55,239 This is a fuel efficiency hearing. 517 00:26:55,312 --> 00:26:57,974 I don't see anything in the agenda about animal testing. 518 00:26:58,048 --> 00:26:59,174 Will you yield the floor? 519 00:26:59,249 --> 00:27:00,773 Absolutely. I'm almost done. 520 00:27:00,851 --> 00:27:03,376 So, in conclusion, I just want to say... 521 00:27:03,453 --> 00:27:04,784 that I am so excited about the day... 522 00:27:04,855 --> 00:27:06,982 that I get to march up those grand Capitol steps... 523 00:27:07,057 --> 00:27:10,720 and drop that very bill in the... 524 00:27:10,794 --> 00:27:12,421 What's it called? 525 00:27:12,496 --> 00:27:15,465 It's like a shiny, mahogany box thing? 526 00:27:15,532 --> 00:27:16,658 The hopper. 527 00:27:16,733 --> 00:27:19,600 Exactly! The hopper! How could I forget? 528 00:27:19,669 --> 00:27:22,035 It's like a bunny. Perfect for animal testing. 529 00:27:22,105 --> 00:27:24,005 And I want to let everybody know... 530 00:27:24,074 --> 00:27:26,406 that I'm having a post-hopper tapas party. 531 00:27:26,476 --> 00:27:29,536 I'm making sangria. It's really yummy. 532 00:27:29,613 --> 00:27:32,741 My, my, how very interesting that all sounds. 533 00:27:32,816 --> 00:27:34,977 It'll be fun. 534 00:27:35,051 --> 00:27:36,780 However, the next time you consider... 535 00:27:36,853 --> 00:27:41,620 attending a hearing over which I preside...don't! 536 00:27:45,128 --> 00:27:46,789 Committee is called to order. 537 00:27:46,863 --> 00:27:48,125 OK. 538 00:27:48,198 --> 00:27:50,291 Welcome to the special meeting of the Committee... 539 00:27:50,367 --> 00:27:53,131 of Energy and Commerce. For the record... 540 00:27:53,203 --> 00:27:55,034 would the secretary please make note that... 541 00:27:56,606 --> 00:27:58,631 Welcome to the Wellington, ma'am. 542 00:28:04,948 --> 00:28:07,212 Seventeen-B? 543 00:28:09,386 --> 00:28:11,854 You have a package. 544 00:28:13,590 --> 00:28:17,117 Inside that box are the most perfect wedding shoes ever. 545 00:28:17,194 --> 00:28:18,821 Both visually stunning and cleated. 546 00:28:18,895 --> 00:28:20,157 And I won't be able to wear them... 547 00:28:20,230 --> 00:28:21,993 since I obviously won't make the date... 548 00:28:22,065 --> 00:28:23,623 for Emmett's fantasy baseball wedding... 549 00:28:23,700 --> 00:28:25,099 given that I don't have a chance of getting... 550 00:28:25,168 --> 00:28:27,500 those important congresspeople to co-sponsor my bill... 551 00:28:27,571 --> 00:28:30,802 which I need to get a hearing to stop animal testing... 552 00:28:30,874 --> 00:28:32,398 in order to reunite Bruiser with his mother... 553 00:28:32,476 --> 00:28:34,103 in order to have them at my wedding... 554 00:28:34,177 --> 00:28:35,337 in which I was going to wear... 555 00:28:35,412 --> 00:28:38,006 the most perfect wedding shoes ever... 556 00:28:38,081 --> 00:28:40,549 right inside that box. 557 00:28:40,617 --> 00:28:44,644 They never covered this in the handbook. 558 00:28:49,659 --> 00:28:52,924 They're something, all right. 559 00:28:54,731 --> 00:28:56,062 You think? 560 00:28:57,300 --> 00:28:58,927 Oh, I'm sorry. 561 00:29:02,138 --> 00:29:04,436 Elle Woods, legislative aide... 562 00:29:04,508 --> 00:29:07,033 to Congresswoman Rudd, Massachusetts. 563 00:29:07,110 --> 00:29:10,102 Sid Post. Doorman. 564 00:29:10,180 --> 00:29:13,081 That door. 565 00:29:13,149 --> 00:29:16,277 All day I've felt like white, open-toed shoes after Labor Day. 566 00:29:16,353 --> 00:29:18,514 I hate that feeling. 567 00:29:18,588 --> 00:29:21,489 Whatever that means. 568 00:29:21,558 --> 00:29:26,154 I better get going. If I'm going to pass a law... 569 00:29:26,229 --> 00:29:28,390 I have to work up some plan of attack... 570 00:29:28,465 --> 00:29:32,925 with the Committee of En and Ron or whatever. 571 00:29:33,003 --> 00:29:35,062 Bye, Sid. 572 00:29:35,138 --> 00:29:38,767 -Comm. -What'd you say? 573 00:29:38,842 --> 00:29:42,608 It's called the Committee of Energy and Commerce. 574 00:29:42,679 --> 00:29:46,706 Oh, yeah. Right. Thanks. 575 00:29:56,092 --> 00:29:57,923 This is really important to me, Grace. 576 00:29:57,994 --> 00:29:59,791 They wouldn't cover my nana's anti-itch cream... 577 00:29:59,863 --> 00:30:02,559 which means she only has one free hand for bingo. 578 00:30:02,632 --> 00:30:05,465 -If I could get a hearing-- -Where's your bill, Reena? 579 00:30:05,535 --> 00:30:07,765 The staff lawyers couldn't draft it for six weeks... 580 00:30:07,837 --> 00:30:09,702 but if you could talk to the congressman's aide... 581 00:30:09,773 --> 00:30:11,536 I could get on the agenda. 582 00:30:11,608 --> 00:30:13,838 We pushed prescription drugs last term. 583 00:30:13,910 --> 00:30:16,936 I have a lot of issues that come first. 584 00:30:17,013 --> 00:30:21,177 Reena, if Grace finds herself otherwise prioritized... 585 00:30:21,251 --> 00:30:23,310 maybe you could talk to this aide yourself. 586 00:30:23,386 --> 00:30:25,980 Or better yet, directly to the congressman. 587 00:30:26,056 --> 00:30:30,117 Don't you have something to alphabetize? 588 00:30:30,193 --> 00:30:33,560 In fact, now that I think about it... 589 00:30:33,630 --> 00:30:35,962 with Reena's clear passion for the project... 590 00:30:36,032 --> 00:30:37,693 who better to write this bill than Reena? 591 00:30:37,767 --> 00:30:39,132 Me? 592 00:30:39,202 --> 00:30:40,567 It's like I always say-- 593 00:30:40,637 --> 00:30:43,333 Why let someone else do for you what you can do for yourself? 594 00:30:43,406 --> 00:30:45,203 Except in the case of eyebrow maintenance. 595 00:30:45,275 --> 00:30:47,334 We always say follow protocol. 596 00:30:47,410 --> 00:30:48,809 It's worked for the past 200 years... 597 00:30:48,878 --> 00:30:50,846 OK, Miss Snap Cup? 598 00:30:50,914 --> 00:30:55,180 Stick it out with the lawyers. They'll get to you eventually. 599 00:30:55,251 --> 00:30:58,186 This is the new congress member roster. 600 00:31:04,094 --> 00:31:05,356 Just a dollar. 601 00:31:05,428 --> 00:31:07,225 Don't you believe in helping a guy out? 602 00:31:07,297 --> 00:31:08,559 What I do believe in, sir... 603 00:31:08,632 --> 00:31:10,725 is an honest day's work for an honest day's pay. 604 00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:12,324 Not rewards for idleness. 605 00:31:12,402 --> 00:31:13,994 -50 cents? -Leave me! 606 00:31:14,070 --> 00:31:16,095 -Just a quarter. -Go bother someone else! 607 00:31:20,543 --> 00:31:23,341 People here have no common courtesy. 608 00:31:23,413 --> 00:31:25,904 Want to get a hearing for your bill? 609 00:31:25,982 --> 00:31:29,008 Get Congresswoman Hauser. She needs a political makeover. 610 00:31:29,085 --> 00:31:31,519 Sidney? 611 00:31:31,588 --> 00:31:33,920 Who needs a what? 612 00:31:33,990 --> 00:31:38,086 Hauser. Tough redhead on En and Comm. 613 00:31:38,161 --> 00:31:41,426 If she can put her name on something warm and fuzzy... 614 00:31:41,498 --> 00:31:46,731 something like puppies, that could do the trick. 615 00:31:46,803 --> 00:31:49,795 Really? What if I showed Hauser the photos... 616 00:31:49,873 --> 00:31:51,431 of what they're doing to these animals? 617 00:31:51,508 --> 00:31:56,571 That'd work... with someone with a heart. 618 00:31:56,646 --> 00:32:00,013 Hauser responds to facts, figures, and demographics. 619 00:32:00,083 --> 00:32:02,108 You gotta do your homework. 620 00:32:02,185 --> 00:32:04,449 How did you learn all this? 621 00:32:04,521 --> 00:32:06,318 I have been stationed on the forefront... 622 00:32:06,389 --> 00:32:08,983 of all major political and social scandals... 623 00:32:09,059 --> 00:32:11,118 for the past 30 years. 624 00:32:11,194 --> 00:32:13,253 You worked in the White House? 625 00:32:13,329 --> 00:32:16,196 No, at the Wellington. 626 00:32:16,266 --> 00:32:18,632 After Hauser, you'll need Stanford Marks... 627 00:32:18,702 --> 00:32:21,034 Alabama Republican. A real hard-ass. 628 00:32:21,104 --> 00:32:22,469 Sidney, you are, without a doubt... 629 00:32:22,539 --> 00:32:25,508 the most useful person I've met in Washington. 630 00:33:03,913 --> 00:33:05,608 Hauser's margin in the last election? 631 00:33:05,682 --> 00:33:06,979 Four points. 52-48. 632 00:33:07,050 --> 00:33:08,176 Hauser's chief? 633 00:33:08,251 --> 00:33:10,981 Hall, Ted. 34, moderate, tough. 634 00:33:11,054 --> 00:33:13,921 -Marks' aide? -Murphy. Conservative, tougher. 635 00:33:13,990 --> 00:33:17,050 -I think you're ready. -Thank you, Sid. 636 00:33:18,428 --> 00:33:21,261 For shizzle...my ezzle. 637 00:33:26,436 --> 00:33:28,836 I borrowed this. 638 00:33:35,812 --> 00:33:37,712 Excuse me! 639 00:33:37,781 --> 00:33:39,373 Given the historical tendencies... 640 00:33:39,449 --> 00:33:40,814 of the congresswoman's voting pool... 641 00:33:40,884 --> 00:33:43,751 animal testing is the very issue your platform needs. 642 00:33:43,820 --> 00:33:45,913 Which brings me to my demographic breakdown target. 643 00:33:45,989 --> 00:33:49,049 Which brings us to the end of our time, but good stuff. 644 00:33:49,125 --> 00:33:50,353 I'll bat it around with my colleagues. 645 00:33:50,426 --> 00:33:52,121 I'm not done with my presentation. 646 00:33:52,195 --> 00:33:53,662 -ls Friday good? -Absolutely. 647 00:33:53,730 --> 00:33:57,666 The second one in November, and the line starts down there. 648 00:33:57,734 --> 00:34:00,601 But wait! I won't be here in November. 649 00:34:00,670 --> 00:34:02,103 I'm getting married. 650 00:34:03,339 --> 00:34:05,068 If you insist Congressman Marks is unavailable... 651 00:34:05,141 --> 00:34:06,267 perhaps you could look at... 652 00:34:06,342 --> 00:34:08,708 my alternative testing economics incentive chart. 653 00:34:10,980 --> 00:34:12,538 But it's pop-up. 654 00:34:14,117 --> 00:34:17,518 I will read this homeowners legislation this weekend. 655 00:34:17,587 --> 00:34:19,885 Five more minutes and I'm due in committee. Reena. 656 00:34:19,956 --> 00:34:21,116 Well-- 657 00:34:21,191 --> 00:34:23,421 Reena's prescription drugs for the elderly amendment-- 658 00:34:23,493 --> 00:34:24,983 rejected during mark-up session. 659 00:34:25,061 --> 00:34:26,358 Sorry, Nana. 660 00:34:26,429 --> 00:34:29,830 -Where are we with the animals? -Still not on the calendar. 661 00:34:29,899 --> 00:34:32,367 So we're nowhere. Grace, help Elle with this. 662 00:34:32,435 --> 00:34:35,666 Let's get going. I'll see you all later. 663 00:34:35,738 --> 00:34:38,138 Grace... 664 00:34:38,208 --> 00:34:40,676 I think I can get a meeting with Hauser's aide. 665 00:34:40,743 --> 00:34:42,938 Please. You could have 100 meetings... 666 00:34:43,012 --> 00:34:44,445 and it still wouldn't matter. 667 00:34:44,514 --> 00:34:46,243 This is Washington politics... 668 00:34:46,316 --> 00:34:48,682 not warm fuzzies and kissing booths. 669 00:34:48,751 --> 00:34:51,083 It takes savvy and street smarts. 670 00:34:51,154 --> 00:34:54,385 I've seen thousands of polite, idealistic girls... 671 00:34:54,457 --> 00:34:57,324 just like you traipse up and down this Hill... 672 00:34:57,393 --> 00:35:01,261 and go home empty-handed with blisters on their feet. 673 00:35:01,331 --> 00:35:04,732 Thank you, Grace. 674 00:35:04,801 --> 00:35:08,134 You actually reminded me of something really important. 675 00:35:08,204 --> 00:35:10,672 I came here to give my dog a voice... 676 00:35:10,740 --> 00:35:13,072 and I'd forgotten about my own. 677 00:35:13,142 --> 00:35:16,236 So you can do it the Washington way. 678 00:35:16,312 --> 00:35:20,874 But I'm going to do it the Elle Woods way. 679 00:35:20,950 --> 00:35:21,050 Time to get serious. 680 00:35:21,050 --> 00:35:22,483 Time to get serious. 681 00:35:22,552 --> 00:35:25,180 Subject--Congresswoman Libby Hauser. 682 00:35:25,255 --> 00:35:26,654 Came of age in Post-War boom... 683 00:35:26,723 --> 00:35:30,124 typified by 1951 Charles Jourdan stiletto heel. 684 00:35:30,193 --> 00:35:32,923 Moving up to the Texan's head, which is red... 685 00:35:32,996 --> 00:35:35,829 suspect chemical assistance. Must pursue. 686 00:35:35,899 --> 00:35:37,457 Hit me, Post. 687 00:35:37,533 --> 00:35:40,093 118 salons within a 10-mile radius... 688 00:35:40,169 --> 00:35:42,330 broken down by color expertise... 689 00:35:42,405 --> 00:35:47,775 and philosophical approach to hair maintenance and style. 690 00:35:47,844 --> 00:35:50,813 I didn't know you could have a philosophy of hair. 691 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:52,177 Oh, yeah. 692 00:35:52,248 --> 00:35:54,546 Maybe that's where I went wrong. 693 00:35:56,119 --> 00:35:57,313 Go for Woods. 694 00:35:57,387 --> 00:35:59,150 It's just as you suspected. 695 00:35:59,222 --> 00:36:01,349 She's at a moderate conservative salon... 696 00:36:01,424 --> 00:36:03,858 founded on the principles of Vidal. 697 00:36:03,927 --> 00:36:06,919 In fact, it was one of our case studies... 698 00:36:06,996 --> 00:36:09,157 Last year at Hair University. 699 00:36:09,232 --> 00:36:11,462 That was right before they flunked me. 700 00:36:11,534 --> 00:36:13,832 Paulette, they weren't ready for your vision. 701 00:36:13,903 --> 00:36:16,531 I know you'll make your mark hair-wise. 702 00:36:17,707 --> 00:36:19,174 Sorry. 703 00:36:19,242 --> 00:36:21,608 -You got a pen? -Yes. 704 00:36:21,678 --> 00:36:23,873 It's at Constitution and 12th. 705 00:36:23,947 --> 00:36:26,507 The Salon Bontempo. 706 00:36:29,886 --> 00:36:32,047 Don't you just love a salon day? 707 00:36:34,958 --> 00:36:38,519 Yes, so peaceful and quiet. 708 00:36:38,594 --> 00:36:40,892 Makes it so much easier to talk that way. 709 00:36:40,964 --> 00:36:42,522 They have rules about that here. 710 00:36:42,598 --> 00:36:45,226 I know. That's why I called to make sure... 711 00:36:45,301 --> 00:36:47,166 they used PETA-approved hair care products. 712 00:36:47,236 --> 00:36:49,397 When you think about what they do to those animals-- 713 00:36:49,472 --> 00:36:51,531 Which is why I don't think about it. 714 00:36:51,607 --> 00:36:53,234 Does the trick. 715 00:36:57,180 --> 00:36:58,545 Excellent bobby pin handling. 716 00:36:58,614 --> 00:37:01,606 Thank you, Frederic. Looks great. 717 00:37:04,053 --> 00:37:05,850 Isn't it so comforting to see... 718 00:37:05,922 --> 00:37:07,913 they use eco-friendly foil technology here? 719 00:37:07,991 --> 00:37:10,585 Every planet needs a friend, that's what I always say. 720 00:37:10,660 --> 00:37:13,493 If I wanted to talk about the emotional life of a rock... 721 00:37:13,563 --> 00:37:16,396 you'd know it by now. 722 00:37:16,466 --> 00:37:18,900 Until this day, I'd held the highest opinion... 723 00:37:18,968 --> 00:37:21,664 of redheads as a fellow hair minority group. 724 00:37:21,738 --> 00:37:23,899 I heard quite enough of your politics... 725 00:37:23,973 --> 00:37:26,100 at the committee meeting, thank you very much. 726 00:37:43,626 --> 00:37:47,084 When was the last time you wore the yellow tea rose? 727 00:37:54,570 --> 00:37:56,834 I'm sorry? What did you just-- 728 00:37:56,906 --> 00:37:59,340 When was the last time you wore your yellow tea rose? 729 00:37:59,409 --> 00:38:01,639 On the night of my initiation. 730 00:38:01,711 --> 00:38:03,906 Wasn't the passing of the secret scented eternal flame... 731 00:38:03,980 --> 00:38:06,574 of the goddess Delta Nu not the most moving experience? 732 00:38:06,649 --> 00:38:08,674 Especially the part where we sipped... 733 00:38:08,751 --> 00:38:11,413 from the secret pink chalice of sisterhood! 734 00:38:11,487 --> 00:38:13,216 Yes! 735 00:38:17,593 --> 00:38:19,754 Delta who? 736 00:38:19,829 --> 00:38:21,990 Delta Nu! 737 00:38:22,065 --> 00:38:25,296 Delta-Delta boo-gah-loo 738 00:38:25,368 --> 00:38:27,996 Nu Nu Delta 739 00:38:28,071 --> 00:38:29,402 Theta, Beta 740 00:38:29,472 --> 00:38:30,871 Lambda, Mu 741 00:38:30,940 --> 00:38:34,535 Ooh-aah, Delta Nu! 742 00:38:36,079 --> 00:38:39,242 Libby Hauser, Texas. Planning a wedding? 743 00:38:39,315 --> 00:38:42,216 That "I do" updo looks like heaven on you. 744 00:38:42,285 --> 00:38:43,445 Thank you. 745 00:38:43,519 --> 00:38:46,044 Who is he? Zeta Lambda Nu, I hope. 746 00:38:46,122 --> 00:38:48,215 Actually, I'm marrying outside the Greek system... 747 00:38:48,291 --> 00:38:50,020 but he's totally letter-worthy. 748 00:38:50,093 --> 00:38:54,530 But how is D.C. Elle-worthy? 749 00:38:54,597 --> 00:38:57,122 I'm here to speak for those who can't speak for themselves. 750 00:38:57,200 --> 00:38:59,168 How interesting. 751 00:38:59,235 --> 00:39:01,533 It's more than interesting. It's practical. 752 00:39:01,604 --> 00:39:03,970 Strictly a numbers game as far as you're concerned. 753 00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:09,637 125,468--Number of people in your district with dog licenses. 754 00:39:09,712 --> 00:39:13,648 12,762--The number of unemployed scientists... 755 00:39:13,716 --> 00:39:16,651 with the skills to develop alternatives to animal testing. 756 00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:21,383 And finally, 6285--the ID number of my dog's captive mother. 757 00:39:21,457 --> 00:39:24,585 I'm not sure I followed all that... 758 00:39:24,660 --> 00:39:26,150 but you got my attention. 759 00:39:26,229 --> 00:39:27,821 If there's one thing I know how to do... 760 00:39:27,897 --> 00:39:29,990 it's rinse and repeat. Shall we? 761 00:39:31,968 --> 00:39:33,128 Excuse me, do you happen to have a-- 762 00:39:33,202 --> 00:39:35,193 -Get lost! -Excuse me, sir! 763 00:39:35,271 --> 00:39:38,604 -Do you have a-- -No, I'm busy. 764 00:39:38,674 --> 00:39:40,608 Sir, could I use a section of your newspaper? 765 00:39:40,676 --> 00:39:42,735 We're late for your doggie spa appointment. 766 00:39:47,416 --> 00:39:49,907 -Here you go. -Thank you, young lady. 767 00:39:49,986 --> 00:39:52,045 No problem. What kind of world would this be... 768 00:39:52,121 --> 00:39:54,589 if we didn't help each other out every once in a while? 769 00:39:54,657 --> 00:39:57,125 Have a good day. 770 00:39:57,193 --> 00:39:58,854 What do you want, Bruiser? 771 00:40:04,700 --> 00:40:06,065 Bruiser, honey, come on. 772 00:40:14,777 --> 00:40:15,971 We have to go. We're late. 773 00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:19,973 We have to get to the doggie spa, remember? 774 00:40:20,049 --> 00:40:23,485 Will it be Swedish or shiatsu massage today? 775 00:40:23,553 --> 00:40:25,521 Come on. 776 00:40:29,258 --> 00:40:31,749 Come on. We gotta get you to the puppy pretty parlor. 777 00:40:33,396 --> 00:40:35,921 Redhead, down. 778 00:40:35,998 --> 00:40:38,057 Up next is Stanford Marks... 779 00:40:38,134 --> 00:40:40,728 Southern conservative, NRA spokesman. 780 00:40:40,803 --> 00:40:42,862 How about tulips? 781 00:40:42,939 --> 00:40:46,705 No, no, the calla lily is this year's tulip. 782 00:40:46,776 --> 00:40:49,643 -For weddings? -It's all about the calla. 783 00:40:49,712 --> 00:40:51,737 What would I do without you? 784 00:40:51,814 --> 00:40:54,180 I couldn't do anything without you, Sid. 785 00:40:55,284 --> 00:40:56,979 You're going to get this bill through, Elle. 786 00:40:57,053 --> 00:41:01,149 An honest voice is louder than a crowd's. 787 00:41:01,224 --> 00:41:03,283 Just trust your voice. 788 00:41:07,263 --> 00:41:12,030 Bruiser? Oh, my God. I'll be right back. 789 00:41:12,101 --> 00:41:12,235 Pilates for Poodles? That's Tuesday at 2:30. 790 00:41:12,235 --> 00:41:15,102 Pilates for Poodles? That's Tuesday at 2:30. 791 00:41:16,939 --> 00:41:18,463 -The page said it was urgent! -They said it was urgent. 792 00:41:18,541 --> 00:41:20,406 -Please tell me he's OK. -What's wrong with Leslie? 793 00:41:20,476 --> 00:41:22,273 We have it under control now... 794 00:41:22,345 --> 00:41:24,313 but your Rottweiler has been humping... 795 00:41:24,380 --> 00:41:27,110 your little dog, and vice versa. 796 00:41:27,183 --> 00:41:29,845 Your Chihuahua's quite the little leaper, young lady. 797 00:41:29,919 --> 00:41:31,887 Takes a running start. 798 00:41:31,954 --> 00:41:35,321 Hell, what can I say? My Rottweiler's a stallion. 799 00:41:35,391 --> 00:41:38,554 In our household, we fully support a healthy curiosity. 800 00:41:38,628 --> 00:41:43,395 Testosterone is natural. Wait. Did you say stallion? 801 00:41:43,466 --> 00:41:45,457 Wait a minute. Your dog... 802 00:41:45,534 --> 00:41:47,627 the one wearing that ridiculous pink skirt in the park? 803 00:41:47,703 --> 00:41:49,796 Why would she have testosterone? 804 00:41:49,872 --> 00:41:51,567 That wasn't a skirt, it was a skort. 805 00:41:51,641 --> 00:41:53,438 -Men wear skorts. -Uh-huh. 806 00:41:53,509 --> 00:41:55,204 What the heck is a skort? 807 00:41:55,278 --> 00:41:57,212 And what does a man wearing one got to do with it? 808 00:41:57,280 --> 00:42:03,913 All right! Leslie is a Les. The Rottweiler is a guy... 809 00:42:03,986 --> 00:42:09,424 and Bruiser is a male dog who enjoys wearing pastel. 810 00:42:09,492 --> 00:42:12,620 The canines are both male. 811 00:42:18,034 --> 00:42:21,435 Your dogs are gay. 812 00:42:31,580 --> 00:42:34,913 All the signs were there. I just didn't see them. 813 00:42:34,984 --> 00:42:37,214 Most dogs like to chew your shoes... 814 00:42:37,286 --> 00:42:40,687 and Bruiser liked to wear mine. 815 00:42:40,756 --> 00:42:43,987 I just thought he liked the height. 816 00:42:44,060 --> 00:42:45,288 You just want what's best for them. 817 00:42:45,361 --> 00:42:46,794 Doesn't matter if they're the smartest... 818 00:42:46,862 --> 00:42:49,660 or the strongest or the best diggers. 819 00:42:49,732 --> 00:42:52,792 As long as they're happy. 820 00:42:52,868 --> 00:42:55,735 Why me? Why my dog? 821 00:42:55,805 --> 00:42:58,569 I told Doris not to buy it in Dupont Circle. 822 00:42:58,641 --> 00:43:02,771 That damn homosexual puppy boutique. 823 00:43:02,845 --> 00:43:05,814 Stanford Marks, by the way. You can call me Stan. 824 00:43:05,881 --> 00:43:07,678 Elle Woods. Very nice to meet you. 825 00:43:07,750 --> 00:43:10,116 You're the girl with the perfumed poo baggies. 826 00:43:10,186 --> 00:43:13,280 I'm the woman with the scented waste receptacles. 827 00:43:13,356 --> 00:43:16,917 Wait! Congressman Stanford Marks? 828 00:43:16,992 --> 00:43:18,323 As in the Southern conservative... 829 00:43:18,394 --> 00:43:20,794 NRA spokesman Alabama Republican Stanford Marks? 830 00:43:20,863 --> 00:43:22,160 One and the same. 831 00:43:22,231 --> 00:43:23,493 It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance. 832 00:43:23,566 --> 00:43:26,694 No, Congressman, the pleasure is all mine. 833 00:43:26,769 --> 00:43:29,329 -Well... -Believe me. 834 00:43:29,405 --> 00:43:32,340 Here's to getting things done the Washington way. 835 00:43:32,408 --> 00:43:34,740 Your chief of staff has just gotten herself... 836 00:43:34,810 --> 00:43:38,075 a meeting with--wait for it-- Chairman Stan Marks... 837 00:43:38,147 --> 00:43:40,138 in just four short weeks. 838 00:43:40,216 --> 00:43:43,083 -Congratulations, Grace. -Yes! 839 00:43:44,854 --> 00:43:48,449 Oh, yes. OK, who wants to bet... 840 00:43:48,524 --> 00:43:50,355 over-under on Ms. Woods departure? 841 00:43:50,426 --> 00:43:51,984 Right now it's at six days. 842 00:43:52,061 --> 00:43:52,728 -Reena? -No, thanks. 843 00:43:52,728 --> 00:43:54,025 -Reena? -No, thanks. 844 00:43:54,096 --> 00:43:55,723 Come on. Anybody? 845 00:43:55,798 --> 00:43:57,095 Who wants to take over six days? 846 00:43:57,166 --> 00:43:58,793 I'll take it, Grace. 847 00:43:58,868 --> 00:44:01,063 I've been so busy. I'm sorry I'm late. 848 00:44:01,137 --> 00:44:03,128 Reena, could you be a pal and just tell me... 849 00:44:03,205 --> 00:44:05,196 what I'm doing a week from tomorrow? 850 00:44:05,274 --> 00:44:07,469 By the way, that outfit looks fantastic on you. 851 00:44:07,543 --> 00:44:09,374 It really brings out the color in your eyes. 852 00:44:09,445 --> 00:44:11,379 Thanks. 853 00:44:11,447 --> 00:44:14,075 It's on my "I brake for sample sales" bookmark. 854 00:44:16,018 --> 00:44:19,579 9:00--sample custom color wedding cake frosting. 855 00:44:19,655 --> 00:44:21,782 10:00-- rehearse hearing speech. 856 00:44:21,857 --> 00:44:23,552 11 :00-- Commerce committee hearing. 857 00:44:23,626 --> 00:44:25,856 12:00-- exfoliating treatment-- 858 00:44:25,928 --> 00:44:28,692 Go back to that one at 11 :00. 859 00:44:28,764 --> 00:44:32,222 11 :00-- Commerce committee hearing. 860 00:44:32,301 --> 00:44:33,700 That's what it says. 861 00:44:33,769 --> 00:44:35,396 I'm going to be appearing before ranking member... 862 00:44:35,471 --> 00:44:37,063 Libby Hauser, Chairman Stanford Marks... 863 00:44:37,139 --> 00:44:38,766 and the entire Committee of En and Comm. 864 00:44:38,841 --> 00:44:41,571 A hop, skip, and a jump away from a floor vote. 865 00:44:41,644 --> 00:44:43,236 Nice try, but you have to get a bill... 866 00:44:43,312 --> 00:44:44,711 before you have a hearing. 867 00:44:44,780 --> 00:44:46,407 Like this one? 868 00:44:46,482 --> 00:44:48,507 It's like I was saying to the congresswoman... 869 00:44:48,584 --> 00:44:50,381 the other day over caramel macchiatos. 870 00:44:50,453 --> 00:44:52,717 "ls bill writing super fun or what?" 871 00:44:52,788 --> 00:44:54,585 I think so. 872 00:44:54,657 --> 00:44:57,854 Where is that Elle Woods? 873 00:44:57,927 --> 00:45:00,896 Oh, my God. 874 00:45:00,963 --> 00:45:03,932 -Libby just told me the news. -She did? 875 00:45:03,999 --> 00:45:05,330 Never underestimate a woman... 876 00:45:05,401 --> 00:45:07,266 with a French manicure and a Harvard law degree. 877 00:45:07,336 --> 00:45:09,304 Thank you, Victoria. That's very sweet of you... 878 00:45:09,371 --> 00:45:12,306 but I couldn't have done it without your inspiration. 879 00:45:12,374 --> 00:45:15,172 I'm honored. This girl is special. 880 00:45:15,244 --> 00:45:18,008 Actually, I didn't do it alone. 881 00:45:18,080 --> 00:45:21,379 The entire team helped me. It was really a group effort. 882 00:45:21,450 --> 00:45:23,975 Good work, guys. Really good work. 883 00:45:24,053 --> 00:45:26,146 -You. -Thanks. 884 00:45:27,223 --> 00:45:29,783 Thank you, Reena. You're a sweetheart. 885 00:45:29,859 --> 00:45:33,124 And I guess I will see you at the hopper. 886 00:46:08,764 --> 00:46:10,698 Ask not what your best friend can do for man... 887 00:46:10,766 --> 00:46:13,496 but what you can do for man's best friend. 888 00:46:18,841 --> 00:46:20,138 The Committee on Energy and Commerce... 889 00:46:20,209 --> 00:46:21,938 will now come to order. 890 00:46:22,011 --> 00:46:25,913 HR 2562, aka Bruiser's Bill-- 891 00:46:25,981 --> 00:46:28,381 Representative Victoria Rudd, sponsor... 892 00:46:28,450 --> 00:46:30,384 proposing a ban on animal testing... 893 00:46:30,452 --> 00:46:32,545 in the cosmetics industry. 894 00:46:32,621 --> 00:46:34,054 I'd like to welcome you all today as we begin... 895 00:46:34,123 --> 00:46:36,250 consideration of this very important issue. 896 00:46:36,325 --> 00:46:39,123 This week, you will hear testimony from both sides... 897 00:46:39,194 --> 00:46:43,597 and I ask that you keep your ears and your minds open. 898 00:46:43,666 --> 00:46:45,634 This is my first congressional hearing. 899 00:46:45,701 --> 00:46:47,430 Can you believe it? 900 00:46:47,503 --> 00:46:48,868 And so I come to you today as a citizen... 901 00:46:48,938 --> 00:46:51,270 and a scientist with the National Institute of Health 902 00:46:51,340 --> 00:46:53,831 for 25 years, during which time... 903 00:46:53,909 --> 00:46:56,377 it's become increasingly clear that these supposed alternatives 904 00:46:56,445 --> 00:46:59,676 to animal testing aren't alternatives at all. 905 00:46:59,748 --> 00:47:03,684 I took this office to represent my two-legged constituents. 906 00:47:03,752 --> 00:47:07,688 Recently, I saw an item in a pet store with the label... 907 00:47:07,756 --> 00:47:10,452 "This product is tested on humans." 908 00:47:10,526 --> 00:47:12,426 That's a problem worth discussing. 909 00:47:16,832 --> 00:47:18,265 All the bleeding hearts... 910 00:47:18,334 --> 00:47:19,995 will try to distract us from the facts... 911 00:47:20,069 --> 00:47:23,129 with their saccharine talk of wagging tails... 912 00:47:23,205 --> 00:47:26,800 cold noses, and other sentimental mumbo jumbo. 913 00:47:26,875 --> 00:47:29,901 Consider this--where we see softness of heart... 914 00:47:29,979 --> 00:47:32,607 we often see softness of mind. 915 00:47:32,681 --> 00:47:35,445 And so to move on such a bill at this juncture in time... 916 00:47:35,517 --> 00:47:37,849 would wreak havoc on already unstable... 917 00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:40,787 Local economies across the country. 918 00:47:40,856 --> 00:47:43,450 Now, that's a problem worth discussing. 919 00:47:45,628 --> 00:47:47,289 You know I'd do anything for you... 920 00:47:47,363 --> 00:47:49,297 but I got to tell you, that is one tough room. 921 00:47:49,365 --> 00:47:51,526 -Better be prepared tomorrow. -All right. 922 00:47:51,600 --> 00:47:54,034 Excuse me, ladies. Good evening. 923 00:47:54,103 --> 00:47:57,595 I know you've had a bad day in court before. 924 00:47:57,673 --> 00:47:58,901 It's the same thing. 925 00:47:58,974 --> 00:48:01,033 They make their case, we make ours. 926 00:48:01,110 --> 00:48:02,543 Yes, but that was bad. 927 00:48:02,611 --> 00:48:06,012 They're mostly posturing for their constituents back home. 928 00:48:06,081 --> 00:48:07,878 I think we have the votes in committee... 929 00:48:07,950 --> 00:48:09,679 even without your testimony. 930 00:48:09,752 --> 00:48:13,518 But they have scientists and economists and facts. 931 00:48:13,589 --> 00:48:16,752 So do we. Elle, listen to me. 932 00:48:16,825 --> 00:48:20,158 Go home. Have an early evening. 933 00:48:20,229 --> 00:48:22,254 Sorry. 934 00:48:22,331 --> 00:48:25,232 Victoria Rudd. Yes. 935 00:48:25,300 --> 00:48:28,098 Hang on one minute, will you? 936 00:48:28,170 --> 00:48:31,003 Go home. Try to relax. 937 00:48:31,073 --> 00:48:34,941 And don't think like them. Think like you. 938 00:48:35,010 --> 00:48:37,376 OK. Thanks. 939 00:48:37,446 --> 00:48:39,539 -Good night. -Good night. 940 00:48:41,784 --> 00:48:43,376 Bob, how are you? 941 00:48:47,489 --> 00:48:50,049 I'm leaving the Capitol right now. 942 00:48:50,125 --> 00:48:53,060 -Thanks. Nice work. -Oh. 943 00:48:57,766 --> 00:48:58,892 Sid? 944 00:48:58,967 --> 00:49:02,425 I'm sorry about that. This happens all the time. 945 00:49:02,504 --> 00:49:04,096 My break is almost up... 946 00:49:04,173 --> 00:49:07,768 but I wanted to get you this before tomorrow. 947 00:49:07,843 --> 00:49:09,401 Great. Let's walk. 948 00:49:10,946 --> 00:49:12,846 Sidney, this is brilliant. 949 00:49:12,915 --> 00:49:14,974 How did you know all this? 950 00:49:15,050 --> 00:49:18,611 Hundreds of dogs walked and thousands of plastic baggies. 951 00:49:18,687 --> 00:49:21,520 This is perfect. This is exactly what I need. 952 00:49:22,925 --> 00:49:26,361 Well, of course I appreciate your support. 953 00:49:26,428 --> 00:49:27,827 Why wouldn't it continue? 954 00:49:27,896 --> 00:49:31,024 I'm already on record on that issue. 955 00:49:36,705 --> 00:49:38,297 All right. 956 00:49:38,373 --> 00:49:40,204 I'll do what I can. 957 00:49:40,275 --> 00:49:42,709 Don't push me, Bob. 958 00:49:42,778 --> 00:49:44,643 I'll do what I can. 959 00:49:44,713 --> 00:49:47,045 All right. Good night. 960 00:49:51,386 --> 00:49:55,288 -I need to call in my favor. -I'm listening. 961 00:49:55,357 --> 00:49:58,793 I've changed my position on Bruiser's Bill. 962 00:49:58,861 --> 00:50:01,955 A man who controls a political machine... 963 00:50:02,030 --> 00:50:05,329 Boy, he's good. He is really good. 964 00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:07,129 I'm really glad we're watching this. 965 00:50:07,202 --> 00:50:08,863 This is good for you. 966 00:50:08,937 --> 00:50:10,131 He promised to break me in two. 967 00:50:10,205 --> 00:50:11,570 I'm starting to worry about... 968 00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:13,403 getting all this wedding planning done. 969 00:50:13,475 --> 00:50:16,876 Elle, I want you to follow my lead in Washington. 970 00:50:16,945 --> 00:50:20,005 And always make sure Bruiser wears a sweater. 971 00:50:20,082 --> 00:50:23,381 -ls that Sean Connery? -No, it's not. 972 00:50:23,452 --> 00:50:24,942 Powerful enough to control congressmen... 973 00:50:25,020 --> 00:50:27,545 Seriously, honey, don't worry about the wedding research. 974 00:50:27,623 --> 00:50:29,955 Just give 'em hell tomorrow. 975 00:50:46,508 --> 00:50:49,409 The chair now recognizes legislative aide Elle Woods. 976 00:50:57,152 --> 00:50:58,278 Thank you, Mr. Chairman. 977 00:50:58,353 --> 00:51:00,014 There she is! 978 00:51:00,088 --> 00:51:02,522 Guys, she really did it. 979 00:51:03,792 --> 00:51:05,054 Miss Woods? 980 00:51:05,127 --> 00:51:06,856 Well, I'll be damned. 981 00:51:06,929 --> 00:51:09,523 Representative Kroft... 982 00:51:09,598 --> 00:51:12,089 that lip gloss looks absolutely sensational on you. 983 00:51:13,135 --> 00:51:14,625 I'm sorry, what? 984 00:51:14,703 --> 00:51:17,137 It's Raspberry Macaroon number 156. 985 00:51:17,206 --> 00:51:19,197 Company shall remain nameless, is that correct? 986 00:51:19,274 --> 00:51:23,768 Well, yes. But how did you-- 987 00:51:23,846 --> 00:51:25,541 What if I told you, Representative Kroft... 988 00:51:25,614 --> 00:51:27,673 that you owe that special bounce in your step... 989 00:51:27,749 --> 00:51:30,479 that only comes from finding the perfect lipstick... 990 00:51:30,552 --> 00:51:34,545 to the pain and suffering of innocent animals? 991 00:51:34,623 --> 00:51:36,056 What if I was to tell you... 992 00:51:36,124 --> 00:51:38,149 Congresswoman Madeline Melanie Kroft... 993 00:51:38,227 --> 00:51:40,559 that you owe your Raspberry Macaroon... 994 00:51:43,065 --> 00:51:46,091 to him? 995 00:51:46,168 --> 00:51:47,726 My best friend. 996 00:51:52,241 --> 00:51:54,004 Bruiser. 997 00:51:54,076 --> 00:51:57,102 How many times has he acted on my behalf? 998 00:51:57,179 --> 00:51:59,443 Countless. 999 00:51:59,514 --> 00:52:04,850 But today, I get the opportunity to speak for him. 1000 00:52:04,920 --> 00:52:07,855 Who do you speak for? 1001 00:52:13,195 --> 00:52:15,095 Congressman Fuchs... 1002 00:52:15,163 --> 00:52:18,860 the next time you reach for your overnight moisturizing gloves-- 1003 00:52:18,934 --> 00:52:20,595 By the way, it's nothing to be ashamed about. 1004 00:52:20,669 --> 00:52:22,796 More men should use them. 1005 00:52:22,871 --> 00:52:26,967 Consider asking yourself what you're willing to sacrifice... 1006 00:52:27,042 --> 00:52:29,670 in the name of beauty and soft cuticles. 1007 00:52:29,745 --> 00:52:33,340 Are you willing to sacrifice animal welfare? 1008 00:52:33,415 --> 00:52:36,077 Or how about the welfare of one animal? 1009 00:52:36,151 --> 00:52:38,813 Like Jelly, your childhood pal... 1010 00:52:38,887 --> 00:52:42,050 that striking retriever-black lab mix. 1011 00:52:44,226 --> 00:52:47,889 You know about Jelly? 1012 00:52:47,963 --> 00:52:51,091 When all the other children refused to play Lone Ranger... 1013 00:52:51,166 --> 00:52:53,396 who was it that was always your Tonto? 1014 00:52:53,468 --> 00:52:55,993 Jelly Belly. 1015 00:53:07,115 --> 00:53:10,050 Mr. Chairman... 1016 00:53:10,118 --> 00:53:12,211 when you look in those snap-worthy almond eyes... 1017 00:53:12,287 --> 00:53:13,515 of your Rottweiler Leslie... 1018 00:53:13,588 --> 00:53:16,352 does it not make your heart glow with warmth? 1019 00:53:16,425 --> 00:53:19,519 With due respect, Ms. Woods, I wouldn't go that far. 1020 00:53:19,594 --> 00:53:21,118 But when he learned to differentiate... 1021 00:53:21,196 --> 00:53:22,993 between seven different kinds of pipes... 1022 00:53:23,065 --> 00:53:25,397 and fetch each one on command, did you not swear... 1023 00:53:25,467 --> 00:53:27,594 to protect him with every shotgun... 1024 00:53:27,669 --> 00:53:31,799 in your charming little ammunitions case? 1025 00:53:31,873 --> 00:53:33,204 It wouldn't come to that. 1026 00:53:33,275 --> 00:53:36,540 This is a dog we're talking about. 1027 00:53:36,611 --> 00:53:38,806 But if you could speak for Leslie... 1028 00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:40,973 what would you say? 1029 00:53:45,620 --> 00:53:50,785 What would Leslie want you to say for him, Mr. Chairman? 1030 00:53:54,229 --> 00:53:56,197 Stan. 1031 00:54:06,308 --> 00:54:07,468 To hell with it. 1032 00:54:08,844 --> 00:54:12,302 My Rottweiler Les is of the homosexual orientation. 1033 00:54:13,348 --> 00:54:16,146 I've said it. I'm out. 1034 00:54:16,218 --> 00:54:18,652 My name is Stan Marks, I'm a conservative Republican... 1035 00:54:18,720 --> 00:54:20,779 NRA spokesman, and my dog is gay. 1036 00:54:20,856 --> 00:54:23,120 And guess what? 1037 00:54:23,191 --> 00:54:26,285 I couldn't be prouder of the little flamer! 1038 00:54:26,361 --> 00:54:28,659 I don't care how good my hair looks... 1039 00:54:28,730 --> 00:54:30,925 slicked back with some high-dollar pomade. 1040 00:54:30,999 --> 00:54:34,833 Just one long stare into that sweet sissy dog's eyes... 1041 00:54:34,903 --> 00:54:39,966 and I know no cosmetic could ever be worth it! 1042 00:54:40,042 --> 00:54:44,479 Bruiser's Bill. 1043 00:54:44,546 --> 00:54:46,275 Bruiser's Bill! 1044 00:54:49,017 --> 00:54:50,985 We did it! Bill passing! 1045 00:54:51,053 --> 00:54:53,681 Bruiser's Bill! 1046 00:54:53,755 --> 00:54:55,780 Important legislation for our time. 1047 00:55:06,568 --> 00:55:08,832 Bruiser, good work, little guy. 1048 00:55:14,109 --> 00:55:15,838 I would like to conclude this hearing... 1049 00:55:15,911 --> 00:55:17,742 by thanking you all for your testimony-- 1050 00:55:17,813 --> 00:55:19,178 Mr. Chairman, sir... 1051 00:55:19,247 --> 00:55:20,407 The chair recognizes... 1052 00:55:20,482 --> 00:55:22,109 the gentlewoman from Massachusetts. 1053 00:55:22,184 --> 00:55:24,448 Mr. Chairman, committee members... 1054 00:55:24,519 --> 00:55:28,046 I would like to thank you for your consideration of this bill. 1055 00:55:28,123 --> 00:55:30,921 However, after further reflection... 1056 00:55:30,992 --> 00:55:34,120 on the budgetary realities of this fiscal year... 1057 00:55:34,196 --> 00:55:37,654 I feel I must withdraw my support for Bruiser's Bill. 1058 00:55:37,732 --> 00:55:40,394 -What? -I concur! 1059 00:55:52,714 --> 00:55:54,682 Everybody, calm down. 1060 00:56:03,959 --> 00:56:05,790 I'm sorry, Bruiser. 1061 00:56:07,562 --> 00:56:09,894 I'm sorry, too, Elle. 1062 00:56:09,965 --> 00:56:12,229 I know you think I've let you down. 1063 00:56:12,300 --> 00:56:14,768 Believe me, I thought about your reaction... 1064 00:56:14,836 --> 00:56:16,861 maybe more than I should have. 1065 00:56:18,640 --> 00:56:21,336 You were outmaneuvered... 1066 00:56:21,409 --> 00:56:23,274 by Grace. 1067 00:56:23,345 --> 00:56:25,108 Grace? 1068 00:56:25,180 --> 00:56:27,614 For the last two sessions she's been pushing... 1069 00:56:27,682 --> 00:56:29,809 this homeowners incentives bill. 1070 00:56:29,885 --> 00:56:32,012 This morning she struck a deal. 1071 00:56:32,087 --> 00:56:35,955 I withdraw my support for Bruiser's Bill. 1072 00:56:36,024 --> 00:56:39,653 Homeowners incentives comes to a vote. 1073 00:56:39,728 --> 00:56:41,719 That was the price and I paid it. 1074 00:56:41,796 --> 00:56:45,892 That's all just deals and trades and secrets. 1075 00:56:49,604 --> 00:56:52,630 That's not what people want. 1076 00:57:01,016 --> 00:57:04,713 Elle...I'm sorry. 1077 00:57:13,495 --> 00:57:15,429 Government of the people... 1078 00:57:15,497 --> 00:57:18,864 by the people, for the people. 1079 00:57:43,858 --> 00:57:46,725 So what's your story? 1080 00:57:46,795 --> 00:57:49,286 Were you even honest? 1081 00:57:50,665 --> 00:57:52,633 I guess you were. 1082 00:57:56,271 --> 00:57:57,499 If you didn't play games... 1083 00:57:57,572 --> 00:58:00,871 then you were probably the only one. 1084 00:58:03,545 --> 00:58:06,275 I just don't know how you did it. 1085 00:58:06,348 --> 00:58:08,680 I don't even mean wearing that silly hat... 1086 00:58:08,750 --> 00:58:10,684 because that was really brave. 1087 00:58:10,752 --> 00:58:12,879 But... 1088 00:58:12,954 --> 00:58:15,889 Just trusting your country. 1089 00:58:15,957 --> 00:58:18,517 Trusting this system... 1090 00:58:21,696 --> 00:58:23,960 Trusting yourself. 1091 00:58:24,032 --> 00:58:26,193 I did. 1092 00:58:41,116 --> 00:58:44,176 Go on. It's full of warm fuzzies. 1093 00:58:44,252 --> 00:58:47,050 With extra fuzz. 1094 00:58:59,334 --> 00:59:02,462 "Elle Woods has amazing lateral delts." 1095 00:59:02,537 --> 00:59:05,438 That was my target muscle group of the month. 1096 00:59:05,507 --> 00:59:08,374 Snaps for Elle's lateral delts. 1097 00:59:24,159 --> 00:59:26,457 "Elle Woods inspires us." 1098 00:59:28,697 --> 00:59:30,494 We even put little hearts over the "ls". 1099 00:59:30,565 --> 00:59:33,557 -I see that. -It was my idea. 1100 00:59:33,635 --> 00:59:35,762 Thank you, Timothy. 1101 00:59:35,837 --> 00:59:38,305 Thank you, everybody. This is really nice. 1102 00:59:38,373 --> 00:59:42,036 But I just don't think I'm cut out for this. 1103 00:59:42,110 --> 00:59:43,236 Elle, we have a plan. 1104 00:59:43,311 --> 00:59:45,939 Two words for you-- Discharge petition. 1105 00:59:46,014 --> 00:59:47,811 With a couple hundred signatures... 1106 00:59:47,882 --> 00:59:49,816 we can spring Bruiser's Bill from committee... 1107 00:59:49,884 --> 00:59:52,114 straight to the House floor for a vote. 1108 00:59:52,187 --> 00:59:55,554 I don't know. That sounds really complicated. 1109 00:59:55,623 --> 00:59:57,056 You've come farther than any of us... 1110 00:59:57,125 --> 00:59:59,252 while maintaining your bounce and sparkle. 1111 00:59:59,327 --> 01:00:00,988 We never sparkle. 1112 01:00:01,062 --> 01:00:04,156 None of us thought one person could make a difference... 1113 01:00:04,232 --> 01:00:06,393 until you came along. 1114 01:00:07,802 --> 01:00:11,499 If I remember correctly, isn't that 218 signatures? 1115 01:00:11,573 --> 01:00:13,973 It's not that hard. 1116 01:00:14,042 --> 01:00:16,510 Yeah. 1117 01:00:17,812 --> 01:00:18,972 Yeah. 1118 01:00:20,148 --> 01:00:22,343 I guess I know women with more shoes than that. 1119 01:00:22,417 --> 01:00:25,614 Wait, that's me. 1120 01:00:25,687 --> 01:00:27,587 Elle... 1121 01:00:27,655 --> 01:00:30,317 it's time to finish what you started. 1122 01:00:34,162 --> 01:00:35,959 OK, people, a lot on the agenda today. 1123 01:00:36,030 --> 01:00:38,965 Reenie, I'm still waiting on those one-minute floor speeches. 1124 01:00:39,033 --> 01:00:43,026 Timothy, I need recon on that campaign finance reform hearing. 1125 01:00:43,104 --> 01:00:45,800 Grace, status meeting in my office right away. 1126 01:00:49,244 --> 01:00:52,736 I said now. 1127 01:00:56,718 --> 01:00:57,912 Where's my staff? 1128 01:00:57,986 --> 01:01:01,114 They quit, without notice. 1129 01:01:01,189 --> 01:01:03,248 Why? 1130 01:01:04,726 --> 01:01:07,661 Marks and Hauser just filed a petition... 1131 01:01:07,729 --> 01:01:09,128 to discharge Bruiser's Bill. 1132 01:01:09,197 --> 01:01:11,461 I'm pretty sure that's where your staff is... 1133 01:01:11,533 --> 01:01:14,229 led by their commander Sorority Sue. 1134 01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:22,843 Petition to discharge HR 2652, aka Bruiser's Bill... 1135 01:01:22,911 --> 01:01:24,879 carried with no objections. 1136 01:01:24,946 --> 01:01:28,905 The petition is filed and available for signature. 1137 01:01:30,218 --> 01:01:32,413 Actually, we are strictly... 1138 01:01:32,487 --> 01:01:35,888 "bring your own" on the discharge petition. 1139 01:01:42,831 --> 01:01:46,358 But it's pink...and scented. 1140 01:01:46,434 --> 01:01:49,835 Gives it something extra, don't you think? 1141 01:01:49,904 --> 01:01:52,395 We've both signed it, as you can see. 1142 01:01:53,641 --> 01:01:55,905 I believe we're being dismissed. Thank you. 1143 01:01:55,977 --> 01:01:58,172 There will be others to come and sign. 1144 01:01:58,246 --> 01:02:00,339 -Don't you like pink? -Come on! 1145 01:02:15,330 --> 01:02:18,299 Up on your feet, people. 1146 01:02:18,366 --> 01:02:21,130 Discharge petition time. 1147 01:02:21,202 --> 01:02:22,601 Upsy-daisy. 1148 01:02:25,039 --> 01:02:27,803 We have our work cut out for us. Let's go. 1149 01:02:30,211 --> 01:02:33,647 OK, we have two signatures. 216 to go. 1150 01:02:33,715 --> 01:02:35,205 I'll break up the country into color codes. 1151 01:02:35,283 --> 01:02:37,217 Timothy, you're teal. 1152 01:02:37,285 --> 01:02:39,480 Reena, you're magenta. 1153 01:02:39,554 --> 01:02:41,818 And Elle is marigold. 1154 01:02:41,890 --> 01:02:43,380 And I've got the Wellington covered. 1155 01:02:43,458 --> 01:02:45,255 37 signatures in residence. 1156 01:02:45,326 --> 01:02:48,022 Sid Post, 37. 1157 01:02:48,096 --> 01:02:51,088 Congress adjourns in 3 weeks. We can't do this alone. 1158 01:02:51,165 --> 01:02:53,099 That's why I'm calling in reinforcements. 1159 01:02:53,167 --> 01:02:54,429 I hope we're talking... 1160 01:02:54,502 --> 01:02:56,834 the brightest political minds in the country. 1161 01:02:59,240 --> 01:03:00,935 We're here! 1162 01:03:06,514 --> 01:03:08,106 Oh, my God! 1163 01:03:10,585 --> 01:03:12,917 Oh, gosh, we can't wait to see the Mall. 1164 01:03:12,987 --> 01:03:14,511 And the Statue of Liberty. 1165 01:03:14,589 --> 01:03:16,989 Everybody, these are my Delta Nu sisters. 1166 01:03:17,058 --> 01:03:18,650 This is Margot and Serena. 1167 01:03:18,726 --> 01:03:22,287 Josh made the cruise boat pull over in Puerto Vallarta. 1168 01:03:22,363 --> 01:03:23,694 I left L.A. right after landing... 1169 01:03:23,765 --> 01:03:26,393 a lateral split in the third quarter dance break. 1170 01:03:26,467 --> 01:03:29,197 It was awesome. I went "Yah!" and "Haah!" 1171 01:03:29,270 --> 01:03:31,761 -That's so great. -Yeah, thanks. 1172 01:03:31,839 --> 01:03:34,364 So, is it time? 1173 01:03:34,442 --> 01:03:36,637 Oh, no, it's not time yet. 1174 01:03:41,049 --> 01:03:43,813 Hello? You're here? 1175 01:03:43,885 --> 01:03:46,877 We'll meet you in the lobby. Let's go. 1176 01:03:50,291 --> 01:03:52,350 Everybody, this is the final member of our team... 1177 01:03:52,427 --> 01:03:53,553 Paulette Parcelle. 1178 01:03:53,628 --> 01:03:56,597 Who's ready to discharge? 1179 01:03:56,664 --> 01:04:01,328 And proposition a bill and...whatever. 1180 01:04:01,402 --> 01:04:03,529 Let's hit the Hill. 1181 01:04:04,772 --> 01:04:07,297 If I could have a moment of your time-- 1182 01:04:07,375 --> 01:04:10,276 You could consider something-- 1183 01:04:10,345 --> 01:04:13,143 Quadrant 4, corridor 6, have lost one. 1184 01:04:15,049 --> 01:04:18,041 Sorry. How are you? 1185 01:04:18,119 --> 01:04:19,347 If I could have a minute of your time? 1186 01:04:19,420 --> 01:04:21,354 Reena, how are you? 1187 01:04:21,422 --> 01:04:22,912 Has anybody told you about Bruiser's Bill? 1188 01:04:22,991 --> 01:04:24,652 Is it trivial, Congressman Hannenfeld? 1189 01:04:24,726 --> 01:04:26,717 Animals don't have the same reactions... 1190 01:04:26,794 --> 01:04:27,920 to drugs that humans do. 1191 01:04:27,996 --> 01:04:29,122 It's like the time... 1192 01:04:29,197 --> 01:04:30,721 my trainer's sister's cousin's girlfriend... 1193 01:04:30,798 --> 01:04:32,322 gave her overweight Yorkie some phen-fen... 1194 01:04:32,400 --> 01:04:33,992 because she was a little bit fat... 1195 01:04:34,068 --> 01:04:35,467 and it gained three pounds. 1196 01:04:35,536 --> 01:04:37,970 Desired result? I don't think so. 1197 01:04:38,039 --> 01:04:40,166 You know? 1198 01:04:41,943 --> 01:04:44,537 Oh, my dear, gifted woman... 1199 01:04:44,612 --> 01:04:45,874 you tell that Bruiser Woods... 1200 01:04:45,947 --> 01:04:48,609 he can count on the Sunshine State. 1201 01:04:48,683 --> 01:04:50,844 Thank you, Ohio. 1202 01:05:00,561 --> 01:05:02,825 Thank you, Atlanta! 1203 01:05:02,897 --> 01:05:04,694 Who's next? 1204 01:05:04,766 --> 01:05:06,256 You're next! 1205 01:05:08,803 --> 01:05:11,237 We're gonna do it. 1206 01:05:17,445 --> 01:05:18,912 Serena... 1207 01:05:18,980 --> 01:05:22,245 why do they keep sending us to Room 216? 1208 01:05:22,316 --> 01:05:25,285 "Intern Orientation." 1209 01:05:26,721 --> 01:05:28,814 Margot, you're a genius. 1210 01:05:28,890 --> 01:05:30,357 If this doesn't get more signatures... 1211 01:05:30,425 --> 01:05:31,585 I don't know what will. 1212 01:05:34,028 --> 01:05:36,929 Intern class of 2003 on deck! 1213 01:05:43,071 --> 01:05:45,403 Remember, flexibility counts. 1214 01:05:49,077 --> 01:05:51,637 Ready? OK! 1215 01:05:52,880 --> 01:05:54,905 Dogs of the world unite! 1216 01:06:20,842 --> 01:06:22,503 2...4...6...8! 1217 01:06:22,577 --> 01:06:24,875 Sign the petition, win a date! 1218 01:06:24,946 --> 01:06:27,847 Go Bruiser's Bill, go! 1219 01:06:30,451 --> 01:06:31,975 Well, I'm signing. 1220 01:06:33,855 --> 01:06:36,881 Yes, Bob, I know what you're reading. 1221 01:06:36,958 --> 01:06:39,756 Are you kidding? 1222 01:06:39,827 --> 01:06:42,796 Your support has been invaluable to me. 1223 01:06:42,864 --> 01:06:45,594 If it weren't for you, I'd be painting my own posters. 1224 01:06:45,666 --> 01:06:48,931 I don't care if she has two weeks left. 1225 01:06:49,003 --> 01:06:50,698 She could have two years left. 1226 01:06:50,772 --> 01:06:52,330 She won't pull this off. 1227 01:06:52,406 --> 01:06:57,844 I will not be outmaneuvered by this silly little blonde. 1228 01:06:59,614 --> 01:07:02,139 Don't worry, Bob. I'll get her... 1229 01:07:02,216 --> 01:07:04,411 and her little dog, too. 1230 01:07:05,953 --> 01:07:07,682 Even with the entire Wellington... 1231 01:07:07,755 --> 01:07:10,383 and 68 life-changing haircuts under Paulette's belt... 1232 01:07:10,458 --> 01:07:11,584 we're still not even close. 1233 01:07:11,659 --> 01:07:13,388 We got a problem here. 1234 01:07:13,461 --> 01:07:16,624 The bad news is... 1235 01:07:16,697 --> 01:07:18,665 Reena. 1236 01:07:27,642 --> 01:07:31,772 Wow. You look amazing. 1237 01:07:31,846 --> 01:07:34,781 It's just layers and highlights... 1238 01:07:34,849 --> 01:07:36,407 and a cellulose finishing rinse. 1239 01:07:36,484 --> 01:07:38,349 I did it. 1240 01:07:38,419 --> 01:07:40,444 Cool. 1241 01:07:40,521 --> 01:07:42,182 What is the bad news? 1242 01:07:42,256 --> 01:07:45,225 We lost Hannenfeld. We were planning on him... 1243 01:07:45,293 --> 01:07:47,693 to bring Felsen, Parks, and Janowitz on board. 1244 01:07:47,762 --> 01:07:49,855 What are you talking about? I talked to Hannenfeld myself. 1245 01:07:49,931 --> 01:07:52,399 I confirmed with his aide this morning over breakfast. 1246 01:07:52,466 --> 01:07:55,594 I don't know. Somebody must've got to him at lunch. 1247 01:07:56,637 --> 01:07:58,070 It's Grace. 1248 01:07:58,139 --> 01:08:00,733 -Please make sure. -I will. Two weeks? 1249 01:08:00,808 --> 01:08:02,571 I'm looking for Grace Rossiter. 1250 01:08:02,643 --> 01:08:05,407 I just want to know if she's coming back soon. 1251 01:08:05,479 --> 01:08:07,606 Elle. Hi. 1252 01:08:07,682 --> 01:08:08,910 Oh, hi. 1253 01:08:08,983 --> 01:08:11,144 I was going to call you. 1254 01:08:11,219 --> 01:08:13,915 I was looking for Grace. 1255 01:08:13,988 --> 01:08:15,580 The discharge petition. 1256 01:08:15,656 --> 01:08:17,385 We lost Hannenfeld... 1257 01:08:17,458 --> 01:08:19,483 and I was wondering if Grace knew anything about it. 1258 01:08:19,560 --> 01:08:21,687 None of that is important anymore. 1259 01:08:21,762 --> 01:08:24,162 Could I speak with you for a moment? 1260 01:08:24,232 --> 01:08:26,063 Sure. 1261 01:08:33,307 --> 01:08:35,639 You did it, Elle. You won. 1262 01:08:35,710 --> 01:08:38,508 You can collect Bruiser's mom anytime you like. 1263 01:08:38,579 --> 01:08:39,944 What? 1264 01:08:40,014 --> 01:08:42,812 If you promise not to be disappointed in me again... 1265 01:08:42,884 --> 01:08:46,251 I'll tell you. I pulled a few strings. 1266 01:08:46,320 --> 01:08:50,757 C'est Magnifique is releasing all of their test animals. 1267 01:08:50,825 --> 01:08:52,315 All of them? 1268 01:08:52,393 --> 01:08:54,190 All of them. And what's more... 1269 01:08:54,262 --> 01:08:55,593 they have been so impressed... 1270 01:08:55,663 --> 01:08:57,961 with how you've handled yourself down here... 1271 01:08:58,032 --> 01:09:01,968 they want you on board as head of their legal department. 1272 01:09:02,036 --> 01:09:03,469 It's a very generous offer. 1273 01:09:03,537 --> 01:09:05,801 I don't know. 1274 01:09:05,873 --> 01:09:07,340 You did it. 1275 01:09:07,408 --> 01:09:09,968 You did what you came here to do. 1276 01:09:10,044 --> 01:09:12,911 Yeah, but what about the discharge petition? 1277 01:09:12,980 --> 01:09:15,073 This isn't about just one animal... 1278 01:09:15,149 --> 01:09:16,275 it's all of the animals. 1279 01:09:16,350 --> 01:09:19,012 I agree, but you've got a great team in place. 1280 01:09:19,086 --> 01:09:20,610 They can carry on without you. 1281 01:09:20,688 --> 01:09:23,350 C'est Magnifique wants you up there by Monday. 1282 01:09:23,424 --> 01:09:26,689 You can go home. 1283 01:09:26,761 --> 01:09:29,355 Congratulations, Elle. 1284 01:09:29,430 --> 01:09:31,591 Wow. Thank you. Thanks for doing that. 1285 01:09:31,666 --> 01:09:33,531 Well, sure. 1286 01:09:36,637 --> 01:09:40,038 We have to stick together, us Washington blondes. 1287 01:09:40,107 --> 01:09:42,871 Do you know who Representative Hannenfeld... 1288 01:09:42,944 --> 01:09:45,572 had lunch with today in the members dining room? 1289 01:09:46,948 --> 01:09:49,849 I skipped lunch today. Had a facial. 1290 01:09:49,917 --> 01:09:52,385 OK. Thanks. 1291 01:09:52,453 --> 01:09:54,512 I'll call you about that. 1292 01:09:54,588 --> 01:09:56,078 Yeah. 1293 01:10:07,201 --> 01:10:09,863 Emmett, I know you're probably in Case Law class right now... 1294 01:10:09,937 --> 01:10:11,928 but call me back when you get this. 1295 01:10:12,006 --> 01:10:14,338 I think I'm coming home. 1296 01:10:14,408 --> 01:10:16,273 But it's a good thing. 1297 01:10:16,344 --> 01:10:19,507 Maybe. Call me back. 1298 01:10:31,759 --> 01:10:33,693 Will you leave us alone now? 1299 01:10:33,761 --> 01:10:35,353 Excuse me? 1300 01:10:35,429 --> 01:10:37,420 I know you've been working against us... 1301 01:10:37,498 --> 01:10:38,760 and I know somehow it's personal. 1302 01:10:38,833 --> 01:10:41,267 -You don't like me. -Clearly. 1303 01:10:41,335 --> 01:10:44,964 If I leave Washington, will you call off the fight... 1304 01:10:45,039 --> 01:10:46,506 and let Bruiser's Bill have a fair shot? 1305 01:10:46,574 --> 01:10:50,032 Your bill is trivial to me. I have my own agenda. 1306 01:10:50,111 --> 01:10:53,512 Like the homeowners bill you pushed through at our expense? 1307 01:10:53,581 --> 01:10:55,208 That's all I'm asking, Grace-- 1308 01:10:55,282 --> 01:10:58,115 Homeowners incentives? I wouldn't touch that bill. 1309 01:10:58,185 --> 01:11:00,619 It's a tax break for the wealthy. 1310 01:11:02,523 --> 01:11:05,981 Haven't you been pushing it for the last two sessions? 1311 01:11:06,060 --> 01:11:08,927 Victoria has a live interview with Connie Chung in an hour. 1312 01:11:08,996 --> 01:11:11,260 I don't have time for this. 1313 01:11:11,332 --> 01:11:13,766 That's the interview she's preparing for? 1314 01:11:13,834 --> 01:11:16,302 She's in makeup right now. 1315 01:11:16,370 --> 01:11:18,338 She's in makeup? 1316 01:11:18,472 --> 01:11:20,406 Mike test, 1-2-3. 1317 01:11:20,474 --> 01:11:21,907 Is Miss Chung available? 1318 01:11:21,976 --> 01:11:23,534 I'd like to go over some ground rules 1319 01:11:23,611 --> 01:11:26,546 before we go on live, for goodness sakes. 1320 01:11:26,614 --> 01:11:28,980 Yes, OK. Thanks. 1321 01:11:30,951 --> 01:11:32,748 Doesn't she have a beautiful complexion? 1322 01:11:32,820 --> 01:11:35,687 She's like a PSA for SPF. 1323 01:11:35,756 --> 01:11:38,156 Thank you, Elle. I thought you were gone. 1324 01:11:38,225 --> 01:11:40,090 Home? No, no, no. I'm not ready yet-- 1325 01:11:40,161 --> 01:11:41,628 Epidermally speaking, that is. 1326 01:11:41,695 --> 01:11:43,754 I'm actually feeling a little bit muddy. 1327 01:11:43,831 --> 01:11:45,492 I need a light exfoliation... 1328 01:11:45,566 --> 01:11:46,828 followed by super rich hydration... 1329 01:11:46,901 --> 01:11:49,768 and I thought, Victoria will have a good recommendation. 1330 01:11:49,837 --> 01:11:52,032 Sweetie, this really isn't the best time. 1331 01:11:52,106 --> 01:11:53,505 I know you're very busy... 1332 01:11:53,574 --> 01:11:55,508 so I already called your facialist. 1333 01:11:55,576 --> 01:11:58,511 The thing is she said you didn't come in today. 1334 01:11:58,579 --> 01:12:01,377 Oh, no, no. I went someplace else. 1335 01:12:01,449 --> 01:12:02,939 Someplace new. Is that all? 1336 01:12:03,017 --> 01:12:04,143 No, that's not all. 1337 01:12:04,218 --> 01:12:06,846 Every woman knows that a good facial... 1338 01:12:06,921 --> 01:12:09,253 can be a painful experience if done properly... 1339 01:12:09,323 --> 01:12:12,759 resulting in red blotchy areas all over your skin... 1340 01:12:12,827 --> 01:12:15,523 swelling, tenderness in your T-zone area. 1341 01:12:15,596 --> 01:12:18,326 Even more so if your facialist is Eastern European... 1342 01:12:18,399 --> 01:12:19,923 as so many of the best are. 1343 01:12:20,000 --> 01:12:22,127 Payback for the fall of Communism, I like to say. 1344 01:12:22,203 --> 01:12:24,694 What on earth are you talking about? 1345 01:12:24,772 --> 01:12:26,296 Isn't it the first rule of facials... 1346 01:12:26,373 --> 01:12:28,136 that there's a 24-hour window between a facial... 1347 01:12:28,209 --> 01:12:31,076 and any major occasion such as a date or a dance... 1348 01:12:31,145 --> 01:12:34,012 or maybe an interview with Mrs. Maury Povich? 1349 01:12:34,081 --> 01:12:35,981 I don't think that's a rule... 1350 01:12:36,050 --> 01:12:38,348 the most well-groomed woman in Washington would forget. 1351 01:12:38,419 --> 01:12:40,751 This is ridiculous. Could we clear this room? 1352 01:12:40,821 --> 01:12:42,220 You lied to me about your lunch hour. 1353 01:12:42,289 --> 01:12:45,281 Why? Because you were having lunch with Hannenfeld? 1354 01:12:45,359 --> 01:12:48,556 You've been lobbying against us all this time. 1355 01:12:48,629 --> 01:12:53,896 For God's sakes, enough. Thank you. Out, out, out. 1356 01:12:53,968 --> 01:12:56,835 Thank you. I'll be with you in a moment. 1357 01:12:59,907 --> 01:13:04,310 Yes. I lied to you. I killed Bruiser's Bill. 1358 01:13:04,378 --> 01:13:05,572 But you're an animal lover. 1359 01:13:05,646 --> 01:13:07,443 What about Dolly Madison, your beagle? 1360 01:13:07,515 --> 01:13:09,574 Not mine. I borrowed it. 1361 01:13:09,650 --> 01:13:12,483 And it reeked. Looked good on the sofa. 1362 01:13:12,553 --> 01:13:15,488 We've been through all of this before. 1363 01:13:15,556 --> 01:13:18,047 I traded your bill for the homeowners bill... 1364 01:13:18,125 --> 01:13:19,752 that Grace had committed me to. 1365 01:13:19,827 --> 01:13:22,523 That's a lie. Grace never wanted that. 1366 01:13:22,596 --> 01:13:25,895 You blocked this bill and I want to know why. 1367 01:13:25,966 --> 01:13:27,456 -Why? -Yes, why? 1368 01:13:27,535 --> 01:13:30,800 Why does anything happen in Washington? Survival. 1369 01:13:30,871 --> 01:13:33,931 You have no idea what it takes to get here and stay here. 1370 01:13:34,008 --> 01:13:35,532 The money it takes. 1371 01:13:35,609 --> 01:13:39,101 It just so happens that my chief financial contributor 1372 01:13:39,180 --> 01:13:42,547 purchased half share in a major cosmetics company... 1373 01:13:42,616 --> 01:13:46,279 and they want to continue testing on animals... 1374 01:13:46,353 --> 01:13:47,911 so much so that they're willing... 1375 01:13:47,988 --> 01:13:50,149 to bankroll my opponent in next year's elections... 1376 01:13:50,224 --> 01:13:53,489 if I did not kill your bill. 1377 01:13:53,561 --> 01:13:55,586 I trusted you. 1378 01:13:55,663 --> 01:13:57,790 I looked up to you. 1379 01:13:57,865 --> 01:14:02,097 I can't do anyone any good if I'm no longer here. 1380 01:14:02,169 --> 01:14:04,399 But you're not doing anybody any good. 1381 01:14:04,471 --> 01:14:08,498 Nobody in your district, not even yourself. 1382 01:14:08,576 --> 01:14:12,137 And I'm sorry, but I can't let that happen. 1383 01:14:16,116 --> 01:14:18,550 You can't prove why I changed my vote... 1384 01:14:18,619 --> 01:14:19,916 or how I blocked your bill. 1385 01:14:19,987 --> 01:14:22,080 It's your word against mine... 1386 01:14:22,156 --> 01:14:24,647 and I've spent 20 years building up my credibility... 1387 01:14:24,725 --> 01:14:26,522 in this town and back home. 1388 01:14:26,594 --> 01:14:28,459 I'm not going to the press. 1389 01:14:28,529 --> 01:14:31,464 I don't believe in blackmail. 1390 01:14:31,532 --> 01:14:33,591 But I do believe in the people... 1391 01:14:33,667 --> 01:14:36,033 and I'm going to take Bruiser's Bill to them. 1392 01:14:36,103 --> 01:14:38,367 The people believe what we tell them to believe. 1393 01:14:38,439 --> 01:14:39,872 It'll never work, Elle. 1394 01:14:39,940 --> 01:14:42,704 You can't get the people to care. 1395 01:14:46,480 --> 01:14:47,845 Watch me. 1396 01:15:06,100 --> 01:15:08,364 Ladies... 1397 01:15:08,435 --> 01:15:09,925 it's time. 1398 01:15:12,039 --> 01:15:13,700 You mean... 1399 01:15:13,774 --> 01:15:15,332 Are you sure? 1400 01:15:15,409 --> 01:15:19,140 As sure as I am that nobody looks good in paisley. 1401 01:15:19,213 --> 01:15:21,511 Are you with me? 1402 01:15:21,582 --> 01:15:25,416 I think so. Serena? 1403 01:15:27,855 --> 01:15:31,484 Yeah. Yes. We're with you, Elle. 1404 01:15:32,593 --> 01:15:34,026 Go for it. 1405 01:15:48,676 --> 01:15:50,143 Oh, my God! 1406 01:15:55,416 --> 01:15:57,816 Delta Nu president, Chapter 2-6... 1407 01:15:57,885 --> 01:16:02,117 I.D. Number 097435. Third from the top. 1408 01:16:02,189 --> 01:16:04,953 6234978, fifth from the top... 1409 01:16:05,025 --> 01:16:07,619 calling to activate phone tree number 255. 1410 01:16:07,695 --> 01:16:10,186 Call to activate phone tree 255! 1411 01:16:10,264 --> 01:16:11,697 This is not a fire drill. 1412 01:16:11,765 --> 01:16:14,199 I repeat, this is not a drill! 1413 01:16:17,705 --> 01:16:21,334 Sisters mobilized. E.T.A. 0800 hours. 1414 01:16:27,348 --> 01:16:29,179 -Hi, Heather, it's Buffy. -Hi, Kiki, it's Tiffani. 1415 01:16:29,249 --> 01:16:31,308 -Hi, Amber, it's Becky. -Hi, Audrey, it's Melanie. 1416 01:16:31,385 --> 01:16:33,250 -Hi, Jos, it's Breena. -Hi, Courtney, it's Veronica. 1417 01:16:33,320 --> 01:16:35,151 -Hi, Christy, it's Nat. -Hi, Binky, it's Nicki. 1418 01:16:35,222 --> 01:16:38,157 -Hi, Jill, it's Jojo. -Hi, Allison, it's Cookie. 1419 01:16:38,225 --> 01:16:39,590 You will never believe what happened. 1420 01:16:39,660 --> 01:16:40,922 Elle just called and she needs our help... 1421 01:16:40,994 --> 01:16:42,791 Suzy, we're taking it to Defcon One. 1422 01:16:42,863 --> 01:16:44,023 There's a crisis right now. 1423 01:16:44,098 --> 01:16:45,793 Where the president is. Exactly. 1424 01:16:45,866 --> 01:16:48,061 There's an emergency in Washington. 1425 01:16:48,135 --> 01:16:50,000 Road trip? 1426 01:16:54,141 --> 01:16:57,042 OK, see you in Washington. 1427 01:17:30,110 --> 01:17:33,273 Save Bruiser's mom! 1428 01:17:33,347 --> 01:17:34,974 Save Bruiser's mom! 1429 01:17:35,048 --> 01:17:36,606 Help me out, tell a friend. 1430 01:17:36,683 --> 01:17:40,175 Save Bruiser's mom! 1431 01:17:40,254 --> 01:17:41,653 I like your necklace. 1432 01:17:56,336 --> 01:17:59,533 Gay Dogs of America support Bruiser's Bill! 1433 01:17:59,606 --> 01:18:01,039 We're gonna tee it around 12:00-- 1434 01:18:01,108 --> 01:18:03,303 Miss, save me a good one. 1435 01:18:03,377 --> 01:18:05,572 Full-color big picture of Bruiser. 1436 01:18:05,646 --> 01:18:08,137 Emmett! What are you doing here? 1437 01:18:08,215 --> 01:18:10,115 Wedding research. 1438 01:18:10,184 --> 01:18:11,412 What? 1439 01:18:11,485 --> 01:18:15,216 Elle, your work is here now and it's important. 1440 01:18:15,289 --> 01:18:17,348 So I'm bringing the wedding to you. 1441 01:18:17,424 --> 01:18:20,393 First step, get groom to Washington. 1442 01:18:21,862 --> 01:18:23,489 But what about Fenway Park? 1443 01:18:25,098 --> 01:18:27,225 Look, I don't care where I marry you... 1444 01:18:27,301 --> 01:18:29,030 just as long as I do. 1445 01:18:29,102 --> 01:18:32,629 I do. I do. Feels good. 1446 01:18:33,707 --> 01:18:35,504 So what's Step Two? 1447 01:18:40,914 --> 01:18:43,212 That's Step Two. 1448 01:18:43,283 --> 01:18:46,775 Save Bruiser's mom! 1449 01:18:46,854 --> 01:18:50,654 Save Bruiser's mom! 1450 01:18:50,724 --> 01:18:54,387 Save Bruiser's mom! 1451 01:18:54,461 --> 01:18:56,691 Save Bruiser's mom! 1452 01:19:16,216 --> 01:19:18,912 Colorado. Photo ops after. 1453 01:19:18,986 --> 01:19:21,216 Grace, are you all right? 1454 01:19:21,288 --> 01:19:25,281 Save Bruiser's mom! 1455 01:19:25,359 --> 01:19:29,090 Save Bruiser's mom! 1456 01:19:29,162 --> 01:19:31,357 Save Bruiser's mom! 1457 01:19:51,418 --> 01:19:53,477 Rutherford. Check. 1458 01:19:53,554 --> 01:19:55,044 Porter. Check. 1459 01:19:55,122 --> 01:19:56,749 Hutchins. Check. 1460 01:19:58,659 --> 01:20:00,650 Uh-oh. That's it. 1461 01:20:00,727 --> 01:20:02,718 It's not enough. 1462 01:20:02,796 --> 01:20:03,956 Tomorrow's a wash. 1463 01:20:04,031 --> 01:20:05,623 It's National Education Day. 1464 01:20:07,267 --> 01:20:09,735 Got a meeting of both Houses, ceremonial speeches-- 1465 01:20:09,803 --> 01:20:12,533 there's no time for politicking. 1466 01:20:12,606 --> 01:20:14,733 Sorry, Elle, we tried. 1467 01:20:14,808 --> 01:20:16,776 We have to keep trying. 1468 01:20:16,843 --> 01:20:18,071 Hello? 1469 01:20:18,145 --> 01:20:21,046 You want those last fifteen signatures? 1470 01:20:21,114 --> 01:20:22,274 Grace? 1471 01:20:22,349 --> 01:20:24,317 It'll take something extraordinary. 1472 01:20:24,384 --> 01:20:25,874 You'll have to pull something... 1473 01:20:25,953 --> 01:20:28,148 no regular citizen would ever dream of. 1474 01:20:28,221 --> 01:20:31,019 Fine, but how am I going to do that? 1475 01:20:31,091 --> 01:20:32,752 You're going to address the entire Congress... 1476 01:20:32,826 --> 01:20:34,691 and I know just the person to make it happen. 1477 01:20:34,761 --> 01:20:37,491 Who? Is that even possible? 1478 01:20:37,564 --> 01:20:41,500 Look, Elle, you may be above blackmail... 1479 01:20:41,568 --> 01:20:43,035 but I'm not. 1480 01:20:50,978 --> 01:20:53,105 Grace, why are you helping me? 1481 01:20:53,180 --> 01:20:56,172 Because once upon a time I loved politics... 1482 01:20:56,249 --> 01:20:58,217 and I want to do some good. 1483 01:20:59,219 --> 01:21:01,847 What has that got to do with me? 1484 01:21:01,922 --> 01:21:05,255 Look, those silly girls that I told you about... 1485 01:21:05,325 --> 01:21:07,793 with the blisters on their feet? 1486 01:21:07,861 --> 01:21:11,319 I was one of them. 1487 01:21:12,933 --> 01:21:16,164 We have celebrated today elementary education... 1488 01:21:16,236 --> 01:21:19,569 secondary and higher education... 1489 01:21:19,640 --> 01:21:23,838 and now... 1490 01:21:23,910 --> 01:21:25,935 Don't even think about it. 1491 01:21:26,013 --> 01:21:30,313 And now... 1492 01:21:30,384 --> 01:21:33,876 This is a little unconventional. 1493 01:21:33,954 --> 01:21:36,354 With the Speaker's... 1494 01:21:36,423 --> 01:21:39,824 and the president of the Senate's permission... 1495 01:21:39,893 --> 01:21:43,556 please indulge me as I share the floor... 1496 01:21:43,630 --> 01:21:45,689 with my constituent... 1497 01:21:45,766 --> 01:21:47,563 who in the spirit of education... 1498 01:21:47,634 --> 01:21:51,764 would like to educate us all on a vital issue... 1499 01:21:51,838 --> 01:21:53,703 facing us today. 1500 01:21:53,774 --> 01:21:57,107 Ladies and gentlemen of both Houses... 1501 01:21:57,177 --> 01:22:01,876 I give you Ms. Elle Woods. 1502 01:22:35,482 --> 01:22:37,382 It's all yours. 1503 01:22:41,822 --> 01:22:43,790 Thank you, Congresswoman. 1504 01:22:45,425 --> 01:22:47,825 Hello, everyone, my name is Elle Woods... 1505 01:22:47,894 --> 01:22:50,692 and I'm here to speak to you today... 1506 01:22:50,764 --> 01:22:54,461 about a piece of legislation called Bruiser's Bill. 1507 01:23:04,978 --> 01:23:07,538 But you know... 1508 01:23:07,614 --> 01:23:10,845 today is supposed to be about education. 1509 01:23:10,917 --> 01:23:15,354 So instead, I want to tell you about the education... 1510 01:23:15,422 --> 01:23:17,549 you all have given me over the past three months. 1511 01:23:17,624 --> 01:23:19,524 What about Bruiser's Bill? We still need 15 signatures. 1512 01:23:19,593 --> 01:23:20,821 She's blowing it. 1513 01:23:20,894 --> 01:23:23,886 I came to Washington to help my dog Bruiser... 1514 01:23:23,964 --> 01:23:25,397 and somewhere along the way... 1515 01:23:25,465 --> 01:23:29,367 I learned a really unexpected lesson. 1516 01:23:30,670 --> 01:23:33,935 I know what you're thinking-- Who is this girl? 1517 01:23:34,007 --> 01:23:37,272 And what could this simple, small-town girl from Bel Air... 1518 01:23:37,344 --> 01:23:40,472 have to say to all of us? I'll tell you. 1519 01:23:40,547 --> 01:23:44,813 It's about something that's bigger than me... 1520 01:23:44,885 --> 01:23:47,979 or any single act of legislation. 1521 01:23:48,054 --> 01:23:51,114 This is about a matter that should be at... 1522 01:23:51,191 --> 01:23:54,888 the highest importance to every American-- 1523 01:23:56,029 --> 01:23:58,429 My hair. 1524 01:24:00,934 --> 01:24:02,367 There's this salon in Beverly Hills. 1525 01:24:02,435 --> 01:24:06,235 It's really fancy and beautiful. 1526 01:24:06,306 --> 01:24:08,240 It's impossible to get an appointment. 1527 01:24:08,308 --> 01:24:10,640 Unless you're Julia Roberts or from "Friends"... 1528 01:24:10,710 --> 01:24:12,371 you can just forget it. 1529 01:24:12,445 --> 01:24:16,245 But one day, they called me. They had an opening. 1530 01:24:16,316 --> 01:24:18,580 So I was going to finally get the chance... 1531 01:24:18,652 --> 01:24:20,779 to sit in one of those sacred beauty chairs. 1532 01:24:20,854 --> 01:24:22,845 I was so excited. 1533 01:24:22,923 --> 01:24:26,051 Then the colorist... 1534 01:24:26,126 --> 01:24:29,425 gave me Brassy Brigitte instead of Harlow Honey. 1535 01:24:29,496 --> 01:24:33,626 The shampoo girl washed my hair with spiral perm solution... 1536 01:24:33,700 --> 01:24:36,692 instead of color-intensive moisturizing shampoo. 1537 01:24:36,770 --> 01:24:39,967 Finally, the stylist... 1538 01:24:40,040 --> 01:24:44,238 gave me a bob...with bangs. 1539 01:24:45,278 --> 01:24:48,805 Suffice to say, it was just wrong. 1540 01:24:48,882 --> 01:24:53,478 All wrong. For me, you know? 1541 01:24:53,553 --> 01:24:54,918 First I was angry. 1542 01:24:54,988 --> 01:24:58,446 And then I realized my anger was completely misdirected. 1543 01:24:58,525 --> 01:25:00,584 This wasn't the salon's fault. 1544 01:25:00,660 --> 01:25:03,356 I had sat there and witnessed this injustice... 1545 01:25:03,430 --> 01:25:05,125 and had let it happen. 1546 01:25:05,198 --> 01:25:09,965 I didn't get involved in the process. 1547 01:25:10,036 --> 01:25:13,767 I forgot to use my voice. 1548 01:25:13,840 --> 01:25:17,936 I forgot to believe in myself. 1549 01:25:18,011 --> 01:25:20,275 But now I know better. 1550 01:25:20,347 --> 01:25:26,411 I know that one honest voice can be louder than a crowd. 1551 01:25:26,486 --> 01:25:31,321 I know that if we lose our voice... 1552 01:25:31,391 --> 01:25:35,122 or if we let those who speak on our behalf... 1553 01:25:35,195 --> 01:25:37,823 compromise our voice... 1554 01:25:37,898 --> 01:25:42,062 then, this country... 1555 01:25:42,135 --> 01:25:44,899 this country is in for a really bad haircut. 1556 01:25:49,542 --> 01:25:51,874 So speak up, America. 1557 01:25:51,945 --> 01:25:53,503 Speak up! 1558 01:25:53,580 --> 01:25:56,981 Speak up for the home of the brave. 1559 01:25:57,050 --> 01:26:00,679 Speak up for the land of the free gift with purchase. 1560 01:26:00,754 --> 01:26:05,316 Speak up, America. Speak up! 1561 01:26:08,161 --> 01:26:10,095 And remember... 1562 01:26:10,163 --> 01:26:12,256 you are beautiful. 1563 01:26:16,169 --> 01:26:17,761 Thank you. 1564 01:26:31,584 --> 01:26:33,211 Thank you. 1565 01:26:33,286 --> 01:26:35,846 Everyone, it's time I spoke up. 1566 01:26:35,922 --> 01:26:38,220 I think Timothy's smoking! 1567 01:26:43,196 --> 01:26:45,721 I'm married. 1568 01:26:47,634 --> 01:26:48,931 Thank you. 1569 01:27:39,819 --> 01:27:43,550 You didn't! Thank you! 1570 01:27:43,623 --> 01:27:45,113 Thank you! 1571 01:27:48,161 --> 01:27:49,287 Thank you. 1572 01:27:49,362 --> 01:27:52,593 What is this? Oh, my God! 1573 01:27:53,867 --> 01:27:55,459 That's so perfect! 1574 01:28:21,494 --> 01:28:24,327 This week, Congresswoman Libby Hauser... 1575 01:28:24,397 --> 01:28:26,763 finished decorating her house... 1576 01:28:26,833 --> 01:28:28,767 sent her son off to college... 1577 01:28:28,835 --> 01:28:30,894 and negotiated a settlement... 1578 01:28:30,970 --> 01:28:33,200 between the San Antonio labor unions... 1579 01:28:33,273 --> 01:28:35,503 and the Department of Sanitation. 1580 01:28:35,575 --> 01:28:38,203 Snaps for Congresswoman Hauser! 1581 01:29:25,625 --> 01:29:28,219 Now that we're married, where do you want to live? 1582 01:29:28,294 --> 01:29:30,922 Beverly Hills? Boston? Washington? 1583 01:29:30,997 --> 01:29:34,228 -I know just the place. -Yeah? 118050