All language subtitles for WhataMan(2011)-English

The vacation was so great. Nice that you have overcome yourself.

Overcome? Eh, you gave me a pill, right?

What was that? What was that?

Come on! Buckle up, buckle up.

-Fasten your seat belt! - Man, Alex, don't be such a coward

Oh god, I'll never get on a plane again.

- Really scared ... -Never get back up ...

... you only have to have it when the stewardesses also sit down.

Never again! Never again!

Oh God.

Dear?

-You really sucked yesterday. -Thank you.

I bought a paintball gun for Okke's birthday.

It is fully automatic.

Look, they look really nasty from the parts.

Or? What do you think?

Carolin? Hello? A thing fires 15 shots in a second!

If you get a bullet, it must hurt pigs.

Say, is he jogging there or what? That’s not possible!

Hey! Asshole!

Not a gym here! Man! It's true, isn't it?

Can you please go up and tell him not to run that loud?

It will run normally.

Alex! It's so exhausting because of the campaign anyway.

You're welcome!

Shit!

-What's up, buddy? -Hello.

Excuse me please. Maybe you could do a little bit

run quieter? So just 'n my,' cause it gets pretty loud down there.

-What do you mean now? - Do you have slippers?

You, I wear my slippers.

I don't want to appear rude, but ...

I can also pull your ass over your head.

Then you won't hear anything anymore. Do you understand?

All right. Roger that. Thank you.

Now spread yourself out there, right?

Dear?

Dear?

-Good Morning. -Morning, Mr. Nowak.

Frank, please put your sausage away?

So...

You should put your sausage away, please.

OK.

Tell me, do you actually know what's in that sausage?

So if you're lucky, you'll find some meat in there.

But you are much more likely to find slippery giblets in it,

Bristles, hooves, teeth,

but also one or two curly tails or sometimes an eye

seeks its way into the meat grinder,

where everything is crushed and crushed

and is still pressed into a bowel, right?

And you know what flows through such a gut, don't you?

Many thanks.

I hope you have all your informed consent

for the excursion on Monday?

And.

OK, then turn to page 50: Germany and its neighboring countries.

Alex, so listen to Carolin. You have to act harder.

That's when you live in a relationship.

-Hello Mr. Nowak. -Hello.

Alex, I'll explain that to you. There are men and there are women. And...

-There are also horses. -Yes exactly. And...

But there are also the ponies. And there are donkeys!

Henriette, can you be quiet for a moment, please?

-Fies. - Listen, Alex.

When the woman gets off the pony and meets a real stallion,

-Is it clear who she wants to ride with -The pony?

No wrong! The stallion. But the question is anyway:

If the stallion can ride every day,

-and above all connect? -What?

Think about it. The Fury has to work now.

-Thank you, Okke, that was very illuminating. -Such shit.

You're coming on time tonight, aren't you?

-Clear. -I would like a milk slice.

- Goodbye kids, see you then. - Goodbye, teacher.

Okke, does Mr. Nowak actually have a girlfriend?

Unfortunately.

Folks, listen briefly.

-I'm so hungry. -Yes, go ahead.

I just wanted to say: Nice that you are all there, that really means a lot to me.

-Nele comes a little later. -Oh, bad luck.

What is wrong with you? Why are you so aggressive?

-I am not aggressive at all. -... really crack!

Yes, and now I wish you all a good appetite.

The buffet is open. So hit it!

Tell me, would you be the first to open it?

-Hello? -I'm hungry.

I'm turning 30! Unbelievable?

- Nice suit. You look chic. -Thank you.

-Are you having fun? -We have fun!

-Carolin! Hey! -Hi.

-See you later! -See you later!

They only have Turkish food.

Grandma smacks.

-What? -The grandma smacks.

And...

Have a look!

-I think it's better if I go. -What?

Caro, wait a minute! It's silly.

Okke wasn't even born yet.

-Is your friend? -But I wanted to celebrate here with you!

Again it's all about you. You said there were 10 people and not

30 family members from your weird friend.

I can't do this with this whole smacking group.

Can you please go up again? It pulls.

So what's going on? Are you zigzagging now or what?

I told you you could stay.

It sucks! You know, that's my friend in there.

Do you know how long I had to tell Okke that you were allowed to join?

And she really drove away with your car?

-Oh man, Nele, what should I do? -That is your car?

Yes, the Caro was today ... Well, he was not so well and ...

Oh come on, Alex! Don't always take them

in protection. She just doesn't like us.

Alex! Nice that you're back. I knew you wouldn't just leave.

Friends!

Good evening, Mr. Moller. Even so late?

-I had a little emergency. -Oh, hopefully nothing serious?

You can see that either way.

-Good night! -Good night.

Dear?

What did you do?

-I fell off the stairs. -What kind of stairs?

So, you get a situation support association, Ms. Appelmann.

I am outside when you need me.

Oh God! Everything will be fine, okay?

Oh, you are your partner

-from Ms. Appelmann? -Yes.

-Have you got a minute? -Clear. What's the matter?

Hey Nina, please bring a pack of ointment and an anal spreader?

Just a few formalities.

I really have no idea how you did it.

But next time you should be really careful.

OK. What should I be more careful about?

Honestly, among us.

Anatomically, how did you do it?

What?

It doesn't happen every day that you have sex

the rib and coccyx bruise.

So really ...

So that's awesome. Madness.

Anal spreader. May I help you.

So that's the ointment, and that's the anal spreader.

It helps with the application.

-Who was it? -You're welcome?

-Who was it? -Who was what?

-Your injury? -The stairs.

But the doctor just told me something else.

-How so? What did the doctor say to you? -That it happened while fucking!

Tell me, Alex, are you spying on me?

Eh, just tell me who it was, OK? Who was it man

-The Jens. -What? Mr. Moller?

- His name is Jens. -How so?

Because his name is?

OK, if it ... I mean, if it was only the one time and ...

And it didn't mean anything to you ... It didn't mean anything to you, did it?

I'm sorry, I've been wanting to tell you for a while anyway.

What about our vacation now?

Man, alex, are you totally stupid?

Do something. Scream at me!

Come on, show that you're a real man!

I ... I'll go sometimes.

Marco, coffee?

All the best.

OK, listen. Let's do therapy. Let me do therapy.

Come on.

Alex, I'm so sorry.

Eyes closed!

Attention.

Eyes closed, eyes closed, eyes closed.

Surprise!

Wow.

-Thank you for sleeping here, okay? -Clear! As long as you want. Always.

Thank you! Really.

With pleasure! Besides, not all women are shit, are they?

Caro wasn't that shit, right?

Maybe that was a bit difficult.

Oh Alex, she cheated and screwed you.

What's a bit difficult about that, please?

Yes, I ... I mean, it was my fault, you know? And i mean

-that always includes two, and ... -Alex, no, you weren't!

Man, eh! You carry them on your hands, that stupid old bitch!

It makes me so aggro! Really! This filth ... this ...

Yes, stop now, OK?

-It is true! -Yes.

Yes. Sorry.

-And stop apologizing all the time. -Yes, sorry ... Yes. Do you see?

I mean, we also had totally wonderful moments. It's not like that.

OK. If you had to weigh it up

how many good and how many bad moments did you have?

I can't say that now. So, fifty-fifty?

60-40?

68-32.

Listen. I am always there for you and help you with everything that comes.

But be glad that it happened.

She does not deserve you.

-Are you getting a visitor now? -Yes. How do I look?

Gut.

Etienne!

-Who else was here? -We have visitors.

Crap!

This is Alex. Etienne.

-What? - She told me a lot about you.

Ah yes. Hello.

He is a French man.

But!

And he's a Greenpeace activist in China. Great right?

Super.

My mom said, "What you did the first night

"dreaming in a new bed comes true."

So dream something nice, OK?

Ice-skating!

Tell me, are you a boy or a girl?

A young.

Girl?

I am a boy.

A boy.

Oh, they have no idea.

What ... what did I do wrong?

You just had the wrong woman.

No, no, my friend. I'll tell you something now.

A traditional Turkish parable.

Also:

Two bulls stand on a hill and look at the cows in the valley.

So father and son bull, yes? The son Taurus says:

"Come on, dad, we're going down there quickly and fuck a cow."

The father bull looks at his son. He waits briefly and then replies dryly:

"No, son. We're going down there very slowly now

"and fuck everyone."

Is that a traditional Turkish parable?

You really have a problem.

Besides, that wouldn't reflect Alex 'I.

Sorry, but Alex 'I'm a bunch of shit right now.

Yes exactly.

Thats the point. Maybe he should find himself first

before he starts a relationship again.

What, relationship? This is about cows in the pasture.

Hey. Maybe we should have gone on vacation more,

instead of just driving. Only Europe is shit too.

Now stop it!

Do you know what I would do if I were you? I would go there

and Caro really think.

I don't want to go there. I don't want to find them at all.

Ok, also fine. Then she punished with ignoring.

I still have to get my things.

Yes, well, then the offensive. So,

Nothing like there, kick in the door, for that.

Show who the man is. She won't shit through your shirt again.

On the shirt.

That means "in the shirt".

Hello?

Congratulations!

Now come with me.

Next time you could take the photos.

If the coal is right.

Where is the blue dildo?

In the box.

Ah, yes.

Where is it

Finished.

-That's beautiful. -Come on, hang in there.

That gets under the ass.

-And now spread. -Is awesome!

You have such beautiful arms.

- Now spread it properly. -Yes.

Is that cool!

-There He is. -Where?

Shit, shit, shit!

Alex?

-Piss off, you whistle! -Are you crazy?

Alex, don't make it harder than it already is.

So one of us is going to fuck now. And I bet that's not you.

I understand.

Are you coming?

"Do you understand"?

Hi.

Please make me a daddy bull, OK? You're welcome!

I beg your pardon?

Man, lead me to the musk, yes? Now all the cows are fucked!

He, Oma.

He is Frau Karaçayli.

All right, my friend. I'll take you to the pasture.

I? OK.

You already know that real men don't eat honey.

We chew bees.

You know Alex, women are like lollipops. First you lick it on and on and on

and at some point you only have the stem in your hand. Do you understand?

Um, no.

Man, Alex, you have to show women where to go.

They need a direction, the women. And that's what we're here for.

Length, push, zep!

Zep, the legs, zep, the legs. Action!

Boah, that looks great!

Really? I do not know. So...

You know, Alex, men's bodies have to be fighting machines and works of art.

Whoever has a tattoo is a warrior.

You make a great figure!

Andi tries to keep it from festering.

Festering?

-Wow! - Do you really mean?

-Gorgeous for an adhesive tattoo. -Yes?

-Yes. -Cool.

You absolutely have to learn to get out of your cover.

Yes, man, the art of warfare is crucial for us men.

And the most important thing is to know when to plug in,

to be able to hand out something.

Think of Jens!

One of us is going to fuck now. I bet it's not you.

Stop! Stop!

Alex, dude! Everything OK?

Everything OK.

You are fit, you are tattooed, you are sexy.

Now I'm just getting something cool to wear.

Oh shit!

Honestly: I somehow don't feel so comfortable.

Dude, you look great. I swear to you, women will go crazy on it.

There! Look at that! The!

She still doesn't know which Ducati is coming towards her.

Oh man, shit, but that's just fine.

Nonsense, that goes to the toilet, make-up check and stuff, you understand?

Eh Alex! Down there!

The?

She dances like this on purpose. She wants you to come to her!

Nah, I think it's just snotty.

No no. She wants you!

-Yes, do you really mean? -Yes! So come on, go there!

What can I say?

- What should I say? -Is English.

No matter, shit on it. The first try can go wrong.

There she is again

Watch out! You go there now and say something intelligent.

Um, no, no! Something funny, something funny. What relaxes the situation, OK?

Dare you have nothing to lose. You can do it!

-Yes, I can do it. -You can do it!

OK come. Come come come!

I'll do that. OK. I'll do that. OK.

Say something intelligent. Something funny that relaxes the situation.

What relaxes the situation.

On?

-Were you pooping? -Tell me,

did you just turn on my girlfriend?

No.

-He asked if I was pooping! -You're welcome?

What do you have?

You shouldn't have given him the cap! It was so expensive!

Man Okke, please shut up, yes?

My girlfriend bangs with Jens Moller and I make a complete idiot!

No master has fallen from heaven yet!

Man, I'm fed up, really. Boxing, paintball ...

It has nothing to do with becoming a man, all these strange exercises.

Mann!

Yes, and what has to do with becoming a man?

I dont know. No idea.

Forget it. I'm going for a walk first.

That's a good idea! You also have to be able to be alone!

I'm sorry. Fuck the hat! We make it!

I love you!

Here is Caro's answering machine. Speak after the beep. Thank you!

Hey, Caro, it's Alex. You...

I’m standing on the Eiserner Steg right now and I ran here and ...

Do you remember earlier? Here?

I just wanted to tell you that I'm thinking of you.

No matter where you are now.

Maybe you think a little bit about me.

Take care.

He.

-Alex! -At?

Oh shit! I forgot to give you the key.

-Bad? -I had a great evening.

How about...

-Etian? -Stephen.

Not that good. He is going back to China on Tuesday.

-What is he doing there? -Save pandas and stuff.

-And doesn't want me to go with you. -OK. Why not?

He said it was too dangerous.

Haha.

-Too dangerous to save pandas. -Well ...

I think his ex is going too.

Really, yes?

Yes, they often did earlier.

Man i don't understand

You know, he sits in front of me and lies in my face.

Man, completely stupid, real.

Why doesn't he just have the balls to tell me the truth?

Yeah maybe ... you know ... maybe just ...

Can i have something?

-Yes sure. - Enough, isn't it?

There's something in there for you too, of course.

That's ... You can drink it up, yes. Yes.

I have another one in here.

Dumbass!

What a shitty day.

Come here.

Why do you look like the Eminem today?

Alex?

For Alex.

Pass on.

We have to save the whales! Will you help me?

-Do we. -OK.

And you really do that every week?

Yes, I started that a few years ago.

It helps the pandas. Is important.

-What does that mean? - "Save the Pandas" in Mandarin.

Wow.

Why don't you tell me something like that?

No idea. You never asked me either.

Read your note.

"Dear Alex, I'm happy that you are living with me now,

"We finally have more time for each other."

Thank you very much.

I also have a note!

And? What does it say?

"Dear Nele, thank you for being here." Oh.

"PS: great breakfast. PPS: We often do that now."

Show me.

"Dear Nele, thank you for ..." Now she is writing notes herself.

Alex! I have it!

You need professional help.

You too, by the way! You look like a cow.

Watch out! Here you will find all the answers to your questions.

What kind of questions?

The cow has a break when the bulls talk, huh?

"Do you have the courage to become a real man? V."

Who's a V?

Hello?

Hello?

-Fuck! -Nice that you're here!

Fuck, are you stupid? Do you have a quirk?

My name is Volker. People! People!

-Ah, are you the V? -Yes it's me.

You now have to choose your ax.

Sorry?

Forest ax or hunting ax?

Forest? Hunter?

You are here today

because you are pussies.

So, sorry! I am not a pussy.

Thank you, Horst.

So again. You are here today because you are pussies,

but want to become real men.

However, you have to pass an exam beforehand,

only then will I be able to show you the right way.

You can see three trees behind you.

One of them represents your life so far. It falls!

Isn't it forbidden to cut down trees in the forest? I...

This is my forest!

You go!

Run!

Run!

Couldn't I have the forest ax? So...

Come on! Run, you cunt!

The!

Yes. It is difficult to break away from your old life.

Especially if it is represented by a Norwegian hard spruce.

But if you want

if you really want it, you will come back and fell this tree.

And if you fell it, this bell will ring.

By the way, you also get

all course packages at the friendship price.

Is your decision. I'm just saying it.

But remember one thing: the most important thing

the most important thing for a man is that he knows what he wants.

And?

Great sound, Horst.

Forest!

Was that a little too little now?

-What? -Whether a year was too little?

Um, I don't know. But it sounded totally good somehow.

-What's that? -These are Mandarin exercises.

You seem really balanced.

I actually only thrashed a piece of wood.

But it felt really great.

So are you coming to Jenny's party?

Are there women too?

And.

-You are making fun of me! -Not at all.

-But! -No.

Mandarin.

You look great, by the way.

-Really? -Yes.

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

Oh man! Hopefully Caro isn't there too?

No! I do not think so. And if, shit on it.

-Hey, Jenny! Thanks for the invitation. -Yes, of course.

-Hey, Jenny. -Welcome to my new apartment.

Girls!

I'm so sorry with Carolin.

Oh nonsense, I've been over it for a long time.

-Really? -Yes.

It's great. Well then...

Enjoy yourselves!

-He, Stine! -Alex!

-Are you doing well? -Hm.

-This is Laura. -Hi.

-The Alex. -Hello.

Freaky.

- Do any of you want some concrete? -So what is that?

-This is Becherovka and Tonic. -Oh yes, that sounds interesting.

- Do you want one? -No, let's go.

Then ... I just hang up my jacket.

-Say, is that actually Alex? -Mhm.

Attack!

Good evening.

Do you think that's a shitty idea?

Oh nonsense. I'll do it.

Please be nice to him, OK? He's really messed up.

Promised.

-Hi. -Hi.

-How are you? -Great. Thank you.

Brownies. Oh, I love brownies. Do you like .., too?

No, no, no, dear ...

It is so blatant. These new fat burners are so good at burning calories

that I can't keep up with the food. And then, in parallel, the Kohlrabi diet.

If you eat 25 calories of kohlrabi and burn 75 calories when digested,

then you end up with a total of 50 calories in the minus!

I really have to be careful not to starve when losing weight, right?

-And what are you up to? -I am a physiotherapist.

But I also study history and social sciences.

Cool.

I do weight training.

-Really? -Yes...

-Nele said you're a teacher. -Yes, among other things, but ...

Oh, I think that's so sexy.

Oh man, I'm so sorry. I...

Delicious!

OK.

Not with your finger.

Where did they go now?

No idea. Maybe Laura is faster than we thought?

I think I'm going to have a look.

-Human, Nele, let them go. -I'll be right back.

All right. Will you bring me some meatballs then?

And now: main course.

-Alex? -I think I'm a little sick.

Oh, no.

Alex?

I'm waiting!

Alex!

-Caro? -What are you doing there?

Well, partying and having fun and all that.

-Alex, are you all right? -I'll be right, OK?

I'm waiting.

Dumbass.

Let Alex have fun.

Having fun is so important! We're going to cool off.

Nele, are you thinking about my meatballs please?

Yes! Coming.

Attack!

Jenny!

Oh God! Oh shit!

I'm sorry, I'm looking for Laura. Did you see laura

What's your problem, you tensioner?

Is Laura your new one?

Nah, it is not.

No she is not.

We don't want to bother you anymore. Carolin, it was nice to have seen you.

Jens, my best ...

Man, eh, such a disgrace! I should just have stayed at home.

Oh nonsense!

Here. Laura said you should call her.

-Echt? -Mhm.

Nele, listen to me. Thanks for the show, but you really could have stayed.

Nah, that's fine. The questions about Étienne got on my nerves anyway.

-What about n? -Alex!

You know, Nele, I would forget that anyway. The guy has no idea.

You are handsome, funny, intelligent. You are the coolest woman I know.

At some point you and your boyfriend and I and my wife sit together

and it's all good.

And since the only compliments came from you today,

you have to dance with me now

-How? -You have to dance with me.

And where?

-Here. -Here?

On me.

You're not going to Sichuan now, are you?

Let's see, I have no idea.

I decide that from the gut. You know me.

I run where it feels good.

I look around, then one way is dark and the other sunny.

-And then I walk along the sunny one. -You're always late.

Yes. But sometimes late is just right.

You make it really easy for yourself.

-What? -Well, if it gets difficult with you,

then you just say: "Oh, shit on it, I'm going where the sun is", yes?

But I mean, you have to bite through, hold on.

-I'm a hangover. -Yes sure. That's what life is about.

Sometimes it just has to hurt really, really.

-Now don't be so stuffy. -I'm not stuffy!

Eh hello? OK, maybe I'm the more unfortunate guy

but sorted for it. And you are rather unsorted.

But happy.

-Yes? Are you sure? -Mhm!

-For sure? -Mhm.

It's funny with you women. First you want a tough guy

but when you live together, the tough guy is transformed

until he is at home and then you don’t want him anymore,

because he's way too nice. So...

Nonsense. I like men who are just the way they are.

Yes, OK, I mean, well, I'm the way I am. Where is the problem?

There is no problem. You are a great man.

Dear, nice.

Kind? Eh nice? Nice is so ... Nice is the little sister of shit, yes?

What do you think is great about a man except that he's nice?

That he has humor

that he can be stuffy.

Sometimes.

Someone who can listen because they want to know something

who is honest.

That you can trust. Take responsibility.

And has a little hangover.

Hm? Hang Po?

Good night!

Alex, wait a minute.

I ... I think many women find it difficult not to fall in love with you.

Precisely because you are the way you are.

Then you were totally brave to kiss me.

How so? We're friends.

Total save.

Really!

OK.

Look.

Nothing happens.

Oh God!

Oh God!

Oh no!

-Okke, something terrible is happening. -What?

-I slept with Nele. -Yes and? Me too.

-What? -I was just kidding.

Congratulations my friend. The first big step towards ...

I slept with Nele!

And?

That is a good thing!

I mean, you both grew up.

You will say right away that it was a mistake ...

Crap! She comes. I have to quit.

... and then everything is fine again. Alex?

I know you're awake, I heard your voice

Good Morning. And, showered?

Sorry.

You, there is nothing you haven't already seen.

Do you have a t-shirt for me?

Thank you.

I'm making breakfast.

I'm making breakfast.

Hey, this is Morning Man Matze, live from the Planet Tower.

Do you know that when you wake up and think:

The girl was already awesome, but somehow it was a mistake.

I don't know how women think

but one night stands are really, really terrible sometimes

especially with certain people:

the boss, your best friend's girlfriend ...

And then you wake up and think: "Shit! Was that a mistake now?

"What was I doing here?

"And in which apartment did I wake up?"

-Well, tell me what you think about it. -Thank you.

And above all: tell me your most exciting experiences.

Call now on the Planet Phone. Morning Man Matze.

Did you know that jam is no longer available in Germany?

-May name jam? -No.

But! According to EU regulations, this must now be called jam.

Wow.

Awesome.

I think it was a mistake, Alex.

I agree. So...

I am so calm that you say that. I mean...

We're friends. Eh it would be so stupid

if we risk our friendship because of ...

Yes, really stupid.

Only idiots would do that!

Stupid idiots. Stupid ... Stupid idiots!

Funny.

-Do you want something cold? -Hey?

-To drink? - Absolutely, yes.

-I wanted to take my magnifying glasses with me today. -What kind of magnifying glasses?

Please help me times. Well for the trip.

Oh the trip. Listen, you really don't have to ...

-Yeah, I'm coming with you! -No, you don't have to come with me.

Alex! Friends help each other.

You, um ... Shouldn't I be looking for my own apartment?

I don't want to be on your pocket forever.

I actually wanted to ask you if you want to stay.

-We can share the rent. -Yes?

Really? Yes, sure!

Stop it, Frank!

-Yes / Yes. -Frank, come down!

Then we have a really nice single flat share.

- Have breakfast together every day. -Cool.

Frank, stay where you are ... hold on! Crap. Frank!

Frank, you should hold on! Frank!

What did you actually think?

Uh, I think let's see what the others do.

Is it because of Henriette?

Yes. It's because of Henriette.

Yes, it's cute too, huh?

Very.

But please don't tell anyone.

No, I don't. No problem.

But next time you’re going to look for something less dangerous,

if you want to make an impression. OK?

I will. Promised.

OK.

Children, please get everyone together.

Now everyone is looking for a partner.

-We want? -Gladly.

So, and first of all the back man takes the man in front by the hips.

So here.

And then the person in front closes his eyes.

-You have to close your eyes too. -Oh sorry.

And now the back man leads the man in front through the garden

and if the man behind sees something interesting,

he stops and lets the partner feel.

And then he has to guess what that is.

OK? Please be careful. There are a lot of cactuses here.

Yes? OK, let's go.

Frank, don't! Stop the cacti.

What is that?

Let me guess.

That is a tree?

A tree.

Man, Okke, I think I have a crush on Nele.

- Do you really mean? -Yes, shit.

Why shit

Because she said it was a mistake.

-She? -Yes.

-You said that? -Yes!

Who said first that it was a mistake?

-I. -You see?

But then he too.

-Oh shit! -Yes.

So I mean, if you said that, it would be normal. But as?

Oh man, Nele, what else can he say?

That he wants me or something.

He's cute, but he's still a man.

Well, think of the cows in the pasture. Do you want one or all, huh?

I don't know, I'm just starting to recover.

I'm happy for you, Alex, but the question was: one or rather all?

Fuck.

-What am I doing now? -Watch out.

You’re cooking something great tonight, maybe something with protein,

and then you decide whether you want to tell him or not.

Dude are you still there

-Carolin? -Hello Alex.

No no no no no! Ganz kalt, Alex!

-What do you want here? -Alex?

Would you speak to me briefly

Oh no!

I was thinking and ...

It was really shit what I did.

We cannot just throw away the three years.

You know ... I don't know what got into me.

I was totally confused.

But now I know I need you And I'll prove that to you.

This never happens again. Never, never, never again.

I think it just felt too perfect between the two of us.

I just panicked. You are the man of my life.

I would do anything to go back ...

I would really do anything to get back with you ...

Ha? Expensive?

What I wanted to say is:

Maybe we need more time for each other, for our relationship?

We can go on vacation together again.

We don't have to fly. The...

Hey Asia cow! Tell me, are you totally stupid?

I talk to my friend, this is about life and death,

and you smack yourself one off here!

I mean, are you still alright? You're not the only one in the shop here!

Mann!

Na Schmatzing!

What I wanted to say is:

We need more time for each other again, for our relationship ...

-Caro, shut up briefly. -Yes. How so?

-Because nothing will change. -But! I will change.

Why are you here? Did Jens leave you or what?

You can do it, right?

Alexander! In front!

-Hi Max! -Hello. How are you?

Alex?

Alex?

-What did you do? -I did weight training.

Where's Nele?

It is not there. Come on, help me please.

Nele! Hey, you're there.

Oh yes, I almost forgot. Alex really, really needs that.

Here.

Oil!

Yes, that's good for his hip, so for his hip energy.

Well, I'll go ahead and ...

Wow! Then he will be happy, the Evian.

Oh, geil! Gambas!

I love gambas.

Delicious.

Protein, good idea. So...

Bye and bon appétit!

Good!

Nele? You are there after all.

Didn't you say you're at Stine's tonight?

Wow, great table.

What's going on

I cooked for us.

Yes, it's great! I'm really, really hungry!

-Clar, you are hungry. -Is everything okay with you?

You really don't understand anything, do you?

I have put so much effort into it.

You idiot, really.

Wait a minute, what's wrong with you? What's your problem tell me

Is it because of Laura or ...

I cracked something while doing sports and then she wanted ...

Oh come on! I'm not your shitty chick! You don't have to lie to me.

I didn't lie to you.

Eh, do you know why she's messing with you at all?

Because I asked for it.

I wanted you to really feel like a man!

I just felt sorry for you at the party!

Idiot, eh!

So actually I think it's really nice.

-If someone called me a call girl ... -but not if I don't know, yes?

Out of pity? I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me.

Now stop beating, now really important things are at stake.

-Why doesn't she believe me? -Because...

It doesn't matter why she put Laura on you.

She didn't mean it badly.

And much more important is why she is mad at you now.

Yes, great, what should I do now?

What did she say?

She says women sometimes react out of affect,

and you should go and make that clear.

-She said that? -Yes.

Say, and this Laura, who is really a physiotherapist? So really now?

Oh, Mann!

Here.

Nele? You, listen, that was a misunderstanding with Laura. That looked stupid, right?

Nele, listen, I ...

Alexandre.

Etienne?

-What are you doing here? -I eat.

Quiche Lorraine.

What ... what do you want here?

-I am back. For Nele. -What?

Back.

Where is she?

-What? - She is in the room with the shower.

Nele?

-Alex? -You, I, uh, I ...

I wanted to talk to you briefly because I was thinking and ...

Don't worry, I'm no longer angry with you.

We are friends and I don't want to lose you as a friend.

And I want to do this project in China, I really want to go to Sichuan.

Yes, that's all well and good, but ...

And I want to go there with Étienne.

Please what?

Eh, Nele, listen, you, there was nothing with Laura. Really.

Can still be something.

Eh, tell me, are you kidding me now?

Eh, Étienne has been lying to you since you first met

and now you believe him more than me? That is stupid.

-What's stupid about it? -A lot!

-I do not care. -How don't you care?

What shit are you talking about?

I think you're so afraid of being lied to again

that you can't be honest with yourself.

I'd rather lie to myself than to endure

that someone who has been close to me for years is not being honest with me.

Eh, that's not true at all.

You concealed from me that you put Laura on me! So...

Now it's my fault you are unfaithful?

Unfaithful?

You told me three hours in advance that it was a mistake!

So you admit that you had something together!

No! Of course not, but ... And even if, then ...

What if? Then it wouldn't be that bad or how?

Talking to you about relationships, really, that's

like asking a blind man for directions!

Yes, maybe I have messed up relationships.

But I've known you for 20 years

and you're always with a weird bitch

that puts you under the thumb

And then you still believe that it is the great love

even though you howl that you're not accepted as a man

Who's blind here?

I would like eight brownies

a cheesecake, a fruit slice,

and especially cream.

-Can I buy the spray can from you? -OK.

-Yes, please? -Hi Laura, I'm Okke.

We phoned because of my shoulder.

It has really gotten worse now.

I almost can't move my arm anymore.

Oh God. Then come in quickly, we'll get you back.

Brownies! You don't happen to have a lactose intolerance?

Oh no.

Crap.

Crap. Which asshole has ...

What asshole has here ...

-I'm sorry about the veranda, but ... -Is shit!

I can do that again ...

Do not worry. We are totally overinsured anyway.

Crap.

You know what I am proud of you, Alexander.

You have learned your lesson.

But more important than cutting down a tree

is, and this is the second test to plant a new one.

Here, the ... Oh, crap!

Here it is for you. Make the best of it.

-Thank you. -Never mind. Makes 24.95.

You can't give back, you've already touched it.

Crap!

Good Morning.

Good morning, Mr. Nowak.

Now open all pages 42 in the atlas.

Frank, tell us about Europe's climate zones

from south to north. Frank?

Where's Frank?

And?

Mr. Nowak, something bad has happened.

Frank climbed onto the gym and crashed.

Could you drive to the hospital and see how he's doing, please?

-Hello Mrs. Dietrich. -Good Morning.

Hello Mr. Nowak.

Well Frank, how are you doing?

Yes it's okay. The head hums like shit.

- Mom, I'm thirsty. -I'll get you something.

I can do that.

Thank you, is nice. I'll be right back.

Oh man, Frank, you do things.

You don't have to jump off gyms

or climb on things just to impress girls, right?

You don't always have to pretend

or do any things that you don't like,

or wear any clothes or drive fast cars.

I don't even have a driver's license.

Yes that's true.

But what I actually want to say is, you know ...

You cannot hide from who or what you are.

But the ladies don't like that.

The ladies? Yes, not all ladies

but so the one, certain, the decisive, maybe already.

And you clearly have less stress. And injuries.

No more climbing?

No more climbing.

OK.

You can do it.

I should greet you from the whole class.

Lovely greetings back.

I'm going

Mr. Nowak?

Thank you for coming here today.

We could go play soccer or something.

OK.

Or maybe you could meet my mother.

And what to eat. Or just have a drink.

Because she wouldn't have that much stress.

Hi Frank.

Hello Henriette!

Here's from the class.

I painted you

That is beautiful! The hair has turned great.

Thank you.

Nele?

Nele?

Nele! Wait a moment! Now stay ...

Nele!

Nele!

Nele! Nele!

Nele! Nele!

Nele! Nele!

Hello? Um ... please don't be disturbed,

I'm looking for a very special bear among you.

Nele, I wanted to tell you

that all this male behavior is completely unimportant

if you know who you are

and especially if you know what you want.

Listen, I ...

I made a trip to myself.

But I not only found myself there, but also you.

And that's very, very important because ...

Well, you kind of make me complete.

And the man I want to be.

And, um ...

Nele?

If you are looking for Nele Sörger, she is on the way to the airport.

-This is going to Sichuan. -What?

To Sichuan.

Hey Stine! You, when's a Nele flight?

At three. At four. Alex, I have no idea.

Excuse me, I have a question. Has the plane to Beijing already gone?

Yes, it has just started.

Thank you.

Just for info. So if I were going to Beijing by train now,

-how long would it take? -By train?

Oh. I can't tell you exactly now. So...

10 to 12 days?

And when I go on a bus trip, so spontaneously with the bus there ...

Excuse me, why don't you just fly?

Are you afraid of flying?

I'm not afraid of flying.

Fear of flying!

The next plane leaves in two and a half hours.

I am not a coward. I am not a coward. I am not a coward.

Attention, we ask Alexander Nowak for flight AB-7200 to Beijing

immediately to exit 23.

You can do it.

Last call for Mr. Alexander Nowak, booked on Air Berlin flight 7200

to Beijing.

Mr. Nowak?

-Where are the others? -What do you think?

Ah, is it going?

Yes, we should.

We must.

If I don’t deliver you to mom on time,

she races the judge on my neck again.

Then the two of us can no longer see each other.

But I do not want to.

And we want to see each other, right? Next weekend!

Look, the poor fat boy is scared.

Hey! Hello! He’s not afraid, right? Because he's not a coward

right, Alexander?

You are not a coward! Yes?

-Is everything okay with you? -Yes, everything is OK, flying is great,

You get from A to B so quickly. Where am I?

-That's on your boarding pass. -Yes, that's absolutely correct.

You can rest assured. You know,

according to statistics, the airplane is the safest means of transportation in the world.

Really.

You have to get in now, otherwise we will fly without you.

Come.

Close the door, please quickly. Close the door. Easy to.

Ah you!

Oh God!

I can do it, oh god. God...

Alex?

-Nele? What are you doing here -To fly to China. I told you.

And where's Etienne?

It flew at half past three.

I never made it on his plane.

OK.

Great. Great.

Um, would you please sit down again? And buckle up.

OK, I'll sit down. Buckle up is better anyway. Better anyway.

OK.

Excuse me.

-Can you hand that over? -Clear, gladly.

-What's this? -Pass on.

Let's see what's that?

Just take a look.

Nah, it's not for you, but for ...

"Well, I'm brave now.

"Tonight I kissed a great woman

"and now I feel like the strongest man in the world."

Who writes such things today?

Wonderful. Wonderful.

Magical. It goes to your heart.

-Can I get through quickly? -Come quickly.

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

Nele?

I...

I flew!

I know.

Do we want to have breakfast afterwards?

Gladly.