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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,611 --> 00:00:04,444 (multicom jingle) 2 00:00:24,356 --> 00:00:26,149 (mysterious music) 3 00:00:26,149 --> 00:00:29,768 - [Chuck] Walk proudly, all ye who pass through these gates 4 00:00:29,768 --> 00:00:33,029 for these are the gates of knowledge. 5 00:00:33,029 --> 00:00:35,621 They may lead to virtue or vice, 6 00:00:35,621 --> 00:00:37,986 to happiness or misery, 7 00:00:37,986 --> 00:00:39,569 success or failure. 8 00:00:41,212 --> 00:00:43,795 Or, as in this particular case, 9 00:00:44,749 --> 00:00:45,916 to corruption, 10 00:00:46,915 --> 00:00:50,690 to senseless random acts of violence, 11 00:00:50,690 --> 00:00:54,107 to vile and diseased sexual perversities, 12 00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:57,809 to nubile young bodies locked 13 00:00:57,809 --> 00:01:00,360 in the fervent pursuit of knowledge, 14 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,938 stripping away the final vestiges of ignorance. 15 00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:04,907 Yes. 16 00:01:04,907 --> 00:01:05,740 Oh, yes. 17 00:01:07,349 --> 00:01:10,518 These are the rewards of higher education, 18 00:01:10,518 --> 00:01:13,880 the very backbone of our society. 19 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:18,475 So walk proudly all ye who pass through these gates, 20 00:01:18,475 --> 00:01:20,487 for beyond them, 21 00:01:20,487 --> 00:01:23,987 a man may learn how little other men know. 22 00:01:26,126 --> 00:01:27,604 ♪ Busy in the morning ♪ 23 00:01:27,604 --> 00:01:29,093 ♪ Busy all day ♪ 24 00:01:29,093 --> 00:01:34,093 ♪ Got so much to do and no time to play ♪ 25 00:01:34,890 --> 00:01:37,603 ♪ He's such a busy boy, busy boy, runnin' around ♪ 26 00:01:37,603 --> 00:01:40,633 ♪ He's such a busy boy, busy boy, can't settle down ♪ 27 00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:43,611 ♪ He's such a busy boy, busy boy, he's coming down ♪ 28 00:01:43,611 --> 00:01:46,623 ♪ He's such a busy boy, spreadin' joy all over town ♪ 29 00:01:46,623 --> 00:01:50,853 ♪ And I'm all dizzy just wonderin' is he ♪ 30 00:01:50,853 --> 00:01:52,119 ♪ Ever gonna ♪ 31 00:01:52,119 --> 00:01:56,507 ♪ Ever gonna miss me ♪ 32 00:01:56,507 --> 00:01:57,681 ♪ Oh no ♪ 33 00:01:57,681 --> 00:02:02,214 ♪ Now he's passin' right by my door ♪ 34 00:02:02,214 --> 00:02:03,782 ♪ Oh no ♪ 35 00:02:03,782 --> 00:02:05,686 ♪ All the kids are laughin' ♪ 36 00:02:05,686 --> 00:02:10,686 ♪ I'm the girlfriend he's supposed to adore ♪ 37 00:02:10,846 --> 00:02:13,789 ♪ He's such a busy boy, busy boy, runnin' around ♪ 38 00:02:13,789 --> 00:02:16,781 ♪ He's such a busy boy, busy boy, can't settle down ♪ 39 00:02:16,781 --> 00:02:19,858 ♪ He's such a busy boy, busy boy, he's coming down ♪ 40 00:02:19,858 --> 00:02:22,910 ♪ He's such a busy boy, spreadin' joy all over time ♪ 41 00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:26,190 ♪ And I'm all dizzy just wonderin' is he ♪ 42 00:02:26,190 --> 00:02:29,374 ♪ Ever gonna miss me, just find the time to kiss me ♪ 43 00:02:29,374 --> 00:02:32,853 ♪ We never make affection, as time goes passin' ♪ 44 00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:37,853 ♪ I'm gonna be too busy for you ♪ 45 00:02:38,023 --> 00:02:40,758 ♪ He's such a busy boy, busy boy ♪ 46 00:02:40,758 --> 00:02:43,656 ♪ Oh, he's such a busy boy, busy boy ♪ 47 00:02:43,656 --> 00:02:46,665 ♪ Oh, he's such a busy boy, busy boy ♪ 48 00:02:46,665 --> 00:02:49,629 ♪ Oh, he's such a busy boy, busy boy ♪ 49 00:02:49,629 --> 00:02:52,918 ♪ Oh, he's such a busy boy, busy boy ♪ 50 00:02:52,918 --> 00:02:57,085 ♪ Oh, he's such a busy boy, busy boy ♪ 51 00:02:59,058 --> 00:03:01,935 - So after carefully weighing the pros and cons 52 00:03:01,935 --> 00:03:04,661 that higher education had to offer me, 53 00:03:04,661 --> 00:03:08,189 I realized that a degree in sociology with an emphasis on 54 00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:11,211 premenstrual activities of Aboriginal tribes women 55 00:03:11,211 --> 00:03:15,067 could pose a problem when it came to finding a real job. 56 00:03:15,067 --> 00:03:18,195 That's when I decided to become a rock and roll manager. 57 00:03:18,195 --> 00:03:19,397 Hey, my parents always told me, 58 00:03:19,397 --> 00:03:21,987 you gotta have something solid to fall back on. 59 00:03:21,987 --> 00:03:24,017 (knocking) 60 00:03:24,017 --> 00:03:25,203 Uh, Tweeter? 61 00:03:25,203 --> 00:03:29,203 ("Hully Gully" by The Olympics) 62 00:03:30,196 --> 00:03:33,665 ♪ Well ♪ 63 00:03:33,665 --> 00:03:35,654 ♪ I went to a party now ♪ 64 00:03:35,654 --> 00:03:37,951 ♪ And what did they do ♪ 65 00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,468 ♪ Hully ♪ 66 00:03:39,468 --> 00:03:41,968 ♪ Hully gully ♪ 67 00:03:42,867 --> 00:03:43,700 - Paul! 68 00:03:47,001 --> 00:03:49,772 - Man, don't strain your cords. 69 00:03:49,772 --> 00:03:51,741 The Tweeter hears all. 70 00:03:51,741 --> 00:03:55,512 My ears are sensitive instruments, Duck. 71 00:03:55,512 --> 00:03:56,929 - Uh, it's Chuck. 72 00:03:58,147 --> 00:03:59,919 - Say, I wish you luck, too. 73 00:03:59,919 --> 00:04:00,752 - Yeah. 74 00:04:00,752 --> 00:04:03,080 Uh, listen uh, Tweeter? 75 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:04,672 I was told that uh, 76 00:04:04,672 --> 00:04:05,613 you were the man to see about-- 77 00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:07,091 - Hey, hey, hey. 78 00:04:07,091 --> 00:04:08,826 Say no more. 79 00:04:08,826 --> 00:04:10,580 It's ESP time. 80 00:04:10,580 --> 00:04:11,938 Let me just tune in. 81 00:04:11,938 --> 00:04:12,855 Now, you... 82 00:04:14,245 --> 00:04:15,745 You manage a band. 83 00:04:16,597 --> 00:04:18,097 Am I right so far? 84 00:04:19,448 --> 00:04:20,281 And uh... 85 00:04:21,581 --> 00:04:23,704 You're looking to get 'em some work. 86 00:04:23,704 --> 00:04:25,339 (Tweeter laughing) 87 00:04:25,339 --> 00:04:28,237 Listen, Puck, you came to the right place. 88 00:04:28,237 --> 00:04:31,489 I record the sounds, I make the connections. 89 00:04:31,489 --> 00:04:34,572 I got a pilot tape in here somewhere. 90 00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:41,849 I got a bootleg tape in here on the Strawberry Alarm Clock 91 00:04:41,849 --> 00:04:43,898 jammin' with Jerry Vale. 92 00:04:43,898 --> 00:04:45,668 Have you got any idea how much that's worth? 93 00:04:45,668 --> 00:04:48,379 - Listen, Tweeter, um, about my band, 94 00:04:48,379 --> 00:04:50,587 they're three girls, they're called The Splitz. 95 00:04:50,587 --> 00:04:53,529 - Listen, everything's gonna be sweet, 96 00:04:53,529 --> 00:04:55,741 'cause you came to the Tweet. 97 00:04:55,741 --> 00:04:57,438 I can make you big! 98 00:04:57,438 --> 00:04:58,881 (twinkling music) 99 00:04:58,881 --> 00:05:01,210 - Hello, all your fame fans. 100 00:05:01,210 --> 00:05:03,488 We're backstage with The Splitz. 101 00:05:03,488 --> 00:05:06,329 Just another college rock and roll band with a dream. 102 00:05:06,329 --> 00:05:08,882 But all that could change tonight, because tonight, 103 00:05:08,882 --> 00:05:10,175 these girls will be appearing 104 00:05:10,175 --> 00:05:12,925 at that marvelous new hot spot... 105 00:05:13,856 --> 00:05:16,021 Hey Joan, where'd Chuck say he booked us at? 106 00:05:16,021 --> 00:05:17,249 - He hasn't said. 107 00:05:17,249 --> 00:05:18,244 If he doesn't get here soon, 108 00:05:18,244 --> 00:05:19,684 he'll be booking me, all right. 109 00:05:19,684 --> 00:05:21,335 On manslaughter. 110 00:05:21,335 --> 00:05:23,074 - Hmm, well, yes, ladies and gentlemen, 111 00:05:23,074 --> 00:05:26,533 as you can see, the atmosphere here is charged, 112 00:05:26,533 --> 00:05:29,162 mostly because the girls couldn't afford cash. 113 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,116 Well, why don't we talk to the drummer of the band? 114 00:05:31,116 --> 00:05:32,949 How about that, folks? 115 00:05:34,211 --> 00:05:35,336 What are you reading, Susie? 116 00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:36,735 "You Are What You Chew"? 117 00:05:36,735 --> 00:05:38,683 When are you gonna give up on this health food bullshit? 118 00:05:38,683 --> 00:05:41,981 - Look, I happen to believe my body is a sacred temple. 119 00:05:41,981 --> 00:05:44,835 - Gina's body is more like the corner store. 120 00:05:44,835 --> 00:05:46,428 Open 24 hours. 121 00:05:46,428 --> 00:05:48,792 - Well, at least mine's not a drive through, honey. 122 00:05:48,792 --> 00:05:49,625 - Rawr. 123 00:05:53,003 --> 00:05:54,557 - Hey, Chuck! - Hey, Chuckie! 124 00:05:54,557 --> 00:05:55,627 - Hold your applause. 125 00:05:55,627 --> 00:05:57,367 (girls cheering) 126 00:05:57,367 --> 00:05:58,866 Come on, I'm not ticklish. 127 00:05:58,866 --> 00:06:00,045 I'm not ticklish, come on. 128 00:06:00,045 --> 00:06:01,675 Come on, come on, sit down, sit down. 129 00:06:01,675 --> 00:06:03,601 Cool-cool your jets, cool your jets. 130 00:06:03,601 --> 00:06:05,024 I got good news! 131 00:06:05,024 --> 00:06:05,857 Good news. 132 00:06:09,329 --> 00:06:10,515 I got the job. 133 00:06:10,515 --> 00:06:12,224 - All right! - Yay! 134 00:06:12,224 --> 00:06:15,096 - This could be the big break we've been hoping for. 135 00:06:15,096 --> 00:06:15,929 - Break, schmake. 136 00:06:15,929 --> 00:06:17,238 I was hoping for roadies. 137 00:06:17,238 --> 00:06:19,677 - I-I realize that things have not gone 138 00:06:19,677 --> 00:06:22,487 exactly according to plan in the recent past. 139 00:06:22,487 --> 00:06:24,714 - Oh, you mean like that supermarket you booked us for? 140 00:06:24,714 --> 00:06:27,519 - The opening act for their new three-ply toilet paper? 141 00:06:27,519 --> 00:06:28,818 - Okay, okay, okay. 142 00:06:28,818 --> 00:06:30,498 But the important thing is tonight, 143 00:06:30,498 --> 00:06:33,319 because tonight, you're gonna be up there on that stage. 144 00:06:33,319 --> 00:06:34,208 Tonight, you're going to be up there 145 00:06:34,208 --> 00:06:36,715 mesmerizing the audience with your sound, 146 00:06:36,715 --> 00:06:38,402 with your sensuality. 147 00:06:38,402 --> 00:06:39,902 Ladies, tonight... 148 00:06:40,988 --> 00:06:42,988 The world will be yours. 149 00:06:45,627 --> 00:06:46,544 You'll see. 150 00:06:51,006 --> 00:06:52,271 You'll see. 151 00:06:52,271 --> 00:06:53,531 ♪ I'm the one who ♪ 152 00:06:53,531 --> 00:06:55,948 (rock music) 153 00:07:08,390 --> 00:07:12,101 ♪ You, my love, have given me everything ♪ 154 00:07:12,101 --> 00:07:15,848 ♪ And you, my love, are diamonds to me ♪ 155 00:07:15,848 --> 00:07:19,764 ♪ But you, my love, have held back that special thing ♪ 156 00:07:19,764 --> 00:07:23,613 ♪ That makes lovin' so real ♪ 157 00:07:23,613 --> 00:07:27,479 ♪ Am I askin' for too much ♪ 158 00:07:27,479 --> 00:07:31,385 ♪ Am I reachin' for stars in the sky ♪ 159 00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:35,338 ♪ Am I askin' for too much ♪ 160 00:07:35,338 --> 00:07:39,548 ♪ Am I reachin' too high for your love ♪ 161 00:07:39,548 --> 00:07:41,861 - [Chuck] Oh yeah, the joint was jumpin'. 162 00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:44,685 The girls were hot, and the crowd loved them. 163 00:07:44,685 --> 00:07:46,903 I started to imagine what it was going to be like; 164 00:07:46,903 --> 00:07:49,867 Record deals, concert tours, and dare I say it? 165 00:07:49,867 --> 00:07:51,109 MTV! 166 00:07:51,109 --> 00:07:54,635 I could just see myself riding the rails of success, 167 00:07:54,635 --> 00:07:55,885 buried in cash. 168 00:07:56,817 --> 00:07:58,115 Then, pretty soon, 169 00:07:58,115 --> 00:08:02,577 I began to see myself just buried, you know? 170 00:08:02,577 --> 00:08:06,448 ♪ Am I askin' for too much ♪ 171 00:08:06,448 --> 00:08:10,615 ♪ Am I reachin' too high for your love ♪ 172 00:08:15,874 --> 00:08:17,493 - Excuse me, um... 173 00:08:17,493 --> 00:08:19,826 Where's the, uh, rem's moom? 174 00:08:21,839 --> 00:08:23,497 The mem's... 175 00:08:23,497 --> 00:08:26,606 The men's-- (knife scraping) 176 00:08:26,606 --> 00:08:29,564 (knife thudding) 177 00:08:29,564 --> 00:08:30,397 Thanks. 178 00:08:31,364 --> 00:08:32,300 (parrot squawking) 179 00:08:32,300 --> 00:08:33,738 (wood breaking) 180 00:08:33,738 --> 00:08:35,788 - [Bald Man] Give me a beer, stupid. 181 00:08:35,788 --> 00:08:37,413 - [Parrot] Ooh, Heineken. 182 00:08:37,413 --> 00:08:38,561 (parrot squawking) 183 00:08:38,561 --> 00:08:41,279 ♪ My flesh and fire were starved ♪ 184 00:08:41,279 --> 00:08:45,099 ♪ But these sensations are nothing more than skin deep ♪ 185 00:08:45,099 --> 00:08:48,939 ♪ I want what's in your heart ♪ 186 00:08:48,939 --> 00:08:52,757 ♪ Am I askin' for too much ♪ 187 00:08:52,757 --> 00:08:56,712 ♪ Am I reachin' for stars in the sky ♪ 188 00:08:56,712 --> 00:09:00,754 ♪ Am I askin' for too much ♪ 189 00:09:00,754 --> 00:09:04,921 ♪ Am I reachin' too high for your love ♪ 190 00:09:20,354 --> 00:09:24,104 ♪ Ooh ♪ 191 00:09:24,104 --> 00:09:27,923 ♪ Ooh ♪ 192 00:09:27,923 --> 00:09:31,821 ♪ Ooh ♪ 193 00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,654 ♪ Ooh ♪ 194 00:10:07,046 --> 00:10:10,490 ♪ You, my love, have given me everything ♪ 195 00:10:10,490 --> 00:10:14,116 ♪ You, my love, are diamonds to me ♪ 196 00:10:14,116 --> 00:10:18,279 ♪ But you, my love, have held back that special thing ♪ 197 00:10:18,279 --> 00:10:21,997 ♪ That makes lovin' so real ♪ 198 00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:25,879 ♪ Am I askin' for too much ♪ 199 00:10:25,879 --> 00:10:29,810 ♪ Am I reachin' for stars in the sky ♪ 200 00:10:29,810 --> 00:10:33,764 ♪ Am I askin' for too much ♪ 201 00:10:33,764 --> 00:10:37,660 ♪ Am I reachin' for stars in the sky ♪ 202 00:10:37,660 --> 00:10:39,520 ♪ Am I askin' for too much ♪ 203 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:41,462 (Chuck groaning) 204 00:10:41,462 --> 00:10:45,393 ♪ Am I reachin' for stars in the sky ♪ 205 00:10:45,393 --> 00:10:49,224 ♪ Am I askin' for too much, am I askin' for ♪ 206 00:10:49,224 --> 00:10:53,391 ♪ Am I reachin' for stars in the sky ♪ 207 00:10:58,331 --> 00:11:00,420 - Hey, uh, who's your friend, Susie? 208 00:11:00,420 --> 00:11:03,815 I don't recognize the species but I think it likes you. 209 00:11:03,815 --> 00:11:06,374 - Some guy named Warwick from psych class. 210 00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:08,124 What's he doing here? 211 00:11:09,177 --> 00:11:12,402 (wood breaking) 212 00:11:12,402 --> 00:11:14,212 - Decoratin', for one thing. 213 00:11:14,212 --> 00:11:17,295 (plaster clattering) 214 00:11:33,832 --> 00:11:36,539 Wait, he's trying, he's trying to communicate. 215 00:11:36,539 --> 00:11:38,025 Three words. 216 00:11:38,025 --> 00:11:39,885 First word... 217 00:11:39,885 --> 00:11:41,302 Sounds like snot? 218 00:11:43,988 --> 00:11:46,328 Hot, he's hot for you. 219 00:11:46,328 --> 00:11:49,146 He'd do anything for you. 220 00:11:49,146 --> 00:11:52,915 Damn, I didn't know bulldozers even had mating seasons. 221 00:11:52,915 --> 00:11:55,355 Wait, he's getting up. 222 00:11:55,355 --> 00:11:57,371 It's coming closer. 223 00:11:57,371 --> 00:11:59,094 It's opening its mouth. 224 00:11:59,094 --> 00:12:01,701 - Hey Susie, want to go to the World Series with me? 225 00:12:01,701 --> 00:12:02,587 I got tickets. 226 00:12:02,587 --> 00:12:04,240 My treat. 227 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:05,229 Susie? 228 00:12:05,229 --> 00:12:07,009 - What can make a person behave this way? 229 00:12:07,009 --> 00:12:10,926 - Susie, let me take you away from all of this. 230 00:12:13,453 --> 00:12:16,088 (growling) 231 00:12:16,088 --> 00:12:18,449 Where's that peckerhead manager of yours? 232 00:12:18,449 --> 00:12:20,705 - Warwick, if we get to him before you do, 233 00:12:20,705 --> 00:12:22,453 there's not gonna be nothing left you to break. 234 00:12:22,453 --> 00:12:25,120 (door breaking) 235 00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:29,964 (zipper zipping) 236 00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:33,984 (toilet flushing) 237 00:12:38,610 --> 00:12:40,177 - Warwick? 238 00:12:40,177 --> 00:12:41,347 Oh. 239 00:12:41,347 --> 00:12:42,791 I'm glad to see it's you, 240 00:12:42,791 --> 00:12:44,994 and not one of those dangerous animals out there. 241 00:12:44,994 --> 00:12:48,380 - Your drummer just gave me the finger. 242 00:12:48,380 --> 00:12:50,296 - Well, W-Warwick... 243 00:12:50,296 --> 00:12:52,251 Susie gives everybody the finger, you know? 244 00:12:52,251 --> 00:12:54,866 I mean, that's, that's her way of saying uh, 245 00:12:54,866 --> 00:12:56,389 how you doing? 246 00:12:56,389 --> 00:12:58,475 So h-how you doing, Warwick? 247 00:12:58,475 --> 00:13:01,741 - She refuses to go to the World Series with me, 248 00:13:01,741 --> 00:13:03,970 and I got tickets. 249 00:13:03,970 --> 00:13:05,638 - Well, uh... 250 00:13:05,638 --> 00:13:06,898 Don't take it personally. 251 00:13:06,898 --> 00:13:08,896 I-I mean, you know, maybe Susie doesn't like baseball. 252 00:13:08,896 --> 00:13:11,061 But if you want someone to go with you, I'd be happy to-- 253 00:13:11,061 --> 00:13:12,220 - Look. 254 00:13:12,220 --> 00:13:13,750 Either Susie goes out with me 255 00:13:13,750 --> 00:13:16,479 or I'm gonna personally flush you down a toilet, 256 00:13:16,479 --> 00:13:17,562 limb by limb. 257 00:13:19,412 --> 00:13:21,979 - Warwick, give me a break, okay? 258 00:13:21,979 --> 00:13:23,422 I just manage the band, all right? 259 00:13:23,422 --> 00:13:26,712 I don't run their personal lives. 260 00:13:26,712 --> 00:13:31,169 - You know, you make a reasonable point there, Chuck. 261 00:13:31,169 --> 00:13:33,299 I'm being irrational. 262 00:13:33,299 --> 00:13:34,514 You're not the object of my anger, 263 00:13:34,514 --> 00:13:37,567 I'm merely displacing it on you because well, 264 00:13:37,567 --> 00:13:39,661 because you're convenient. 265 00:13:39,661 --> 00:13:43,536 It's my own sense of inadequacy that disturbs me. 266 00:13:43,536 --> 00:13:46,442 Now if I'm gonna deal with this thing maturely, 267 00:13:46,442 --> 00:13:50,995 I'm just gonna have to handle it all on my own. 268 00:13:50,995 --> 00:13:52,831 - Those are wise thoughts, Warwick. 269 00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:54,425 - Yeah. 270 00:13:54,425 --> 00:13:55,925 Hey, sorry, Chuck. 271 00:13:58,122 --> 00:14:00,525 - [Chuck] Surviving Warwick and an S and M obsessed parrot 272 00:14:00,525 --> 00:14:02,776 was easy compared to dinner at Gina's folks 273 00:14:02,776 --> 00:14:04,276 the following day. 274 00:14:05,226 --> 00:14:08,524 - It's 5:56, something's happened to her. 275 00:14:08,524 --> 00:14:10,857 - No sign of them yet, boss. 276 00:14:12,462 --> 00:14:13,500 - Louie. 277 00:14:13,500 --> 00:14:15,365 Louie, you gotta look through the blinds, Louie. 278 00:14:15,365 --> 00:14:16,282 Not at 'em. 279 00:14:23,044 --> 00:14:24,237 I know something's happened to her. 280 00:14:24,237 --> 00:14:26,166 I can feel it in my bones. 281 00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:28,275 - For God's sake, Vito, she's five minutes late. 282 00:14:28,275 --> 00:14:29,954 What could happen in five minutes? 283 00:14:29,954 --> 00:14:31,533 - What could happen in five minutes? 284 00:14:31,533 --> 00:14:33,048 I'll tell you what could happen in five minutes, Rosa. 285 00:14:33,048 --> 00:14:33,881 Bang! 286 00:14:33,881 --> 00:14:35,700 How long did that take? 287 00:14:35,700 --> 00:14:36,953 You know something, Rosa? 288 00:14:36,953 --> 00:14:39,233 ever since I went legit when I moved to the country, 289 00:14:39,233 --> 00:14:41,366 I got a nice house in the suburbs now, right? 290 00:14:41,366 --> 00:14:42,874 All I do is worry. 291 00:14:42,874 --> 00:14:45,553 Before, before, when I was killin' people, 292 00:14:45,553 --> 00:14:46,886 I never worried. 293 00:14:47,807 --> 00:14:49,236 I need a drink. 294 00:14:49,236 --> 00:14:53,723 Somebody give me a drink around here, will ya? 295 00:14:53,723 --> 00:14:56,473 Come on, come on, get me a drink. 296 00:15:03,013 --> 00:15:04,144 And you? 297 00:15:04,144 --> 00:15:06,632 What girly magazine you reading now? 298 00:15:06,632 --> 00:15:08,141 How's the stock market? 299 00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:09,103 Anything going up? 300 00:15:09,103 --> 00:15:10,534 (Vito laughing) 301 00:15:10,534 --> 00:15:12,723 Vinnie, there's a young girl here to see ya 302 00:15:12,723 --> 00:15:14,693 what a big set of knockers. 303 00:15:14,693 --> 00:15:15,787 - Where? 304 00:15:15,787 --> 00:15:17,070 Where? 305 00:15:17,070 --> 00:15:18,565 Is my hair okay? 306 00:15:18,565 --> 00:15:20,136 Uh, we talkin' really big? 307 00:15:20,136 --> 00:15:22,320 We talkin' like '58 Cadillac bumpers, you know? 308 00:15:22,320 --> 00:15:23,376 - God, my stomach. 309 00:15:23,376 --> 00:15:25,724 Something's happened to my Gina, I know it! 310 00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:28,549 God help me, something's happened, I know it! 311 00:15:28,549 --> 00:15:29,382 - Vito. 312 00:15:31,779 --> 00:15:33,698 Why don't you go upstairs and take a crap? 313 00:15:33,698 --> 00:15:35,929 You know how that relaxes you. 314 00:15:35,929 --> 00:15:37,790 - You're absolutely right. 315 00:15:37,790 --> 00:15:40,274 Rosa, what the hell would I do without you? 316 00:15:40,274 --> 00:15:41,312 - [Chuck] How about learn to control 317 00:15:41,312 --> 00:15:42,957 your own bodily functions? 318 00:15:42,957 --> 00:15:45,772 (upbeat rock music) 319 00:15:45,772 --> 00:15:47,810 Meanwhile back in college, the girls and I 320 00:15:47,810 --> 00:15:49,951 were drumming up a little school spirit 321 00:15:49,951 --> 00:15:52,496 at the event we've all been waiting for. 322 00:15:52,496 --> 00:15:54,572 Hooter College Sorority Day. 323 00:15:54,572 --> 00:15:55,571 - [Gina] Chuck, we gotta go. 324 00:15:55,571 --> 00:15:57,578 My dad can be very nasty if I'm late for dinner. 325 00:15:57,578 --> 00:16:00,392 - Rumor has it, they do nasty things with pom-poms. 326 00:16:00,392 --> 00:16:02,568 - [Gina] No, on Lois, I'd say more like obscene. 327 00:16:02,568 --> 00:16:03,712 - [Chuck] Well, it's Sigma Phi. 328 00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:04,577 Is it to your liking? 329 00:16:04,577 --> 00:16:07,035 There's always Fern Hymanstein in Delta Phi. 330 00:16:07,035 --> 00:16:10,369 - Okay, now we're gonna do a little upper torso action. 331 00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:13,216 We're gonna go to the right, center, and left. 332 00:16:13,216 --> 00:16:16,198 Let's get those breasts right out there-- 333 00:16:16,198 --> 00:16:18,746 - Get a load of Fern's chest. 334 00:16:18,746 --> 00:16:20,805 - Right, center, left, center. 335 00:16:20,805 --> 00:16:21,854 Right, center-- (Chuck chuckling) 336 00:16:21,854 --> 00:16:24,430 - She's got more padding in there than defensive lineman. 337 00:16:24,430 --> 00:16:26,442 - [Fern] Right, center, left, center-- 338 00:16:26,442 --> 00:16:27,903 - Hi. 339 00:16:27,903 --> 00:16:31,831 I was wondering if you might consider me for your house? 340 00:16:31,831 --> 00:16:33,818 Well, my sister was a member in '72. 341 00:16:33,818 --> 00:16:34,651 - Yeah? 342 00:16:34,651 --> 00:16:36,417 Did you hold any athletic records? 343 00:16:36,417 --> 00:16:37,334 Any awards? 344 00:16:40,110 --> 00:16:40,943 - No. 345 00:16:43,081 --> 00:16:45,623 - Ooh, how chic, designer label! 346 00:16:45,623 --> 00:16:47,076 (girls laughing) 347 00:16:47,076 --> 00:16:51,243 Why don't you go check out the next house, Phi Beta? 348 00:16:52,166 --> 00:16:54,301 (girls laughing) 349 00:16:54,301 --> 00:16:57,313 - Mary, would you stop crying, for God's sake? 350 00:16:57,313 --> 00:16:58,461 I mean, what are we? 351 00:16:58,461 --> 00:17:00,647 A bunch of self-defeatist wimps? 352 00:17:00,647 --> 00:17:02,871 (crying) 353 00:17:02,871 --> 00:17:04,092 Come on! 354 00:17:04,092 --> 00:17:06,075 Let's show a little team spirit! 355 00:17:06,075 --> 00:17:09,108 - This wind's gonna destroy my hairdo. 356 00:17:09,108 --> 00:17:09,941 Do I like all right? 357 00:17:09,941 --> 00:17:12,183 - Oh, come on, I need three girls to run! 358 00:17:12,183 --> 00:17:15,211 Let's show some team spirit! 359 00:17:15,211 --> 00:17:16,374 - I can run. 360 00:17:16,374 --> 00:17:19,063 - Oh! (girls laughing) 361 00:17:19,063 --> 00:17:21,230 - I'm Bernice, and I can run. 362 00:17:21,230 --> 00:17:22,740 I-If you want me to. 363 00:17:22,740 --> 00:17:24,418 - That's the spirit! 364 00:17:24,418 --> 00:17:26,197 Welcome to Phi Beta! 365 00:17:26,197 --> 00:17:29,030 (dramatic music) 366 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:39,150 - [Chuck] Dean Hunta. 367 00:17:42,304 --> 00:17:43,137 - Good. 368 00:17:53,786 --> 00:17:56,286 - What is she, a nazi in heat? 369 00:18:06,637 --> 00:18:08,753 - Runners, get your spikes on! 370 00:18:08,753 --> 00:18:10,257 Let's go, first down! 371 00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:12,956 (girls cheering) 372 00:18:12,956 --> 00:18:15,603 ("Mistake Magnifique" by Rick Derringer) 373 00:18:15,603 --> 00:18:18,436 (people cheering) 374 00:18:41,039 --> 00:18:41,872 (gun firing) 375 00:18:41,872 --> 00:18:43,453 ♪ I love my girl, I need you just right ♪ 376 00:18:43,453 --> 00:18:45,695 ♪ When we out last Saturday night ♪ 377 00:18:45,695 --> 00:18:47,485 ♪ I got stoned ♪ 378 00:18:47,485 --> 00:18:50,742 ♪ Oh, no one was home ♪ 379 00:18:50,742 --> 00:18:51,784 ♪ I didn't know what to do ♪ 380 00:18:51,784 --> 00:18:55,526 ♪ We knew each other, what did I know ♪ 381 00:18:55,526 --> 00:18:58,109 ♪ The music was hot, and we were gettin' high ♪ 382 00:18:58,109 --> 00:19:01,936 ♪ My girl stepped out and that's when I saw her ♪ 383 00:19:01,936 --> 00:19:05,329 ♪ Oh, she made me purr ♪ 384 00:19:05,329 --> 00:19:09,660 ♪ I never got her name or her numbers on my phone ♪ 385 00:19:09,660 --> 00:19:14,660 ♪ That was a mistake magnifique ♪ 386 00:19:16,127 --> 00:19:17,479 ♪ I shoulda know that she's the girl ♪ 387 00:19:17,479 --> 00:19:20,427 ♪ The woman I want with me ♪ 388 00:19:20,427 --> 00:19:25,427 ♪ Another mistake magnifique ♪ 389 00:19:25,620 --> 00:19:28,213 ♪ I'm gonna cross my fingers one more time ♪ 390 00:19:28,213 --> 00:19:30,884 ♪ And hope that she don't leave ♪ 391 00:19:30,884 --> 00:19:32,634 ♪ Oh ♪ 392 00:19:38,784 --> 00:19:40,288 - [Chuck] Phi Beta's loss that afternoon 393 00:19:40,288 --> 00:19:42,744 was a cruel defeat for the underdogs, 394 00:19:42,744 --> 00:19:46,261 and a prophetic foreshadowing of what was to come, 395 00:19:46,261 --> 00:19:48,625 for me and The Splitz. 396 00:19:48,625 --> 00:19:51,428 Just then though, all I really was looking forward to 397 00:19:51,428 --> 00:19:54,857 was a terrific home-cooked Italian meal. 398 00:19:54,857 --> 00:19:57,105 I mean, two things I have a passion for; 399 00:19:57,105 --> 00:19:58,355 Money and food. 400 00:19:59,249 --> 00:20:01,832 I'll eat anything, except fish. 401 00:20:02,982 --> 00:20:03,982 I hate fish. 402 00:20:05,016 --> 00:20:06,972 Ever since I was a kid and my older brother 403 00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:09,895 put live Guppies in my soup, 404 00:20:09,895 --> 00:20:12,463 w-what do they call it, psychological scarring? 405 00:20:12,463 --> 00:20:13,983 I mean, I had nightmares about Guppies 406 00:20:13,983 --> 00:20:17,560 spawning in my stomach for weeks. 407 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:20,014 (firecrackers popping) - Hit the deck! 408 00:20:20,014 --> 00:20:22,238 - Oh, Gina's home! 409 00:20:22,238 --> 00:20:24,693 - Gina, baby, you're alive. 410 00:20:24,693 --> 00:20:26,437 - [Louie] They're all clean, boss. 411 00:20:26,437 --> 00:20:28,433 - Still in one piece, sweetheart. 412 00:20:28,433 --> 00:20:30,996 - Yep, still the same piece I was last time you saw me, dad. 413 00:20:30,996 --> 00:20:32,291 - Listen, I want to thank you. 414 00:20:32,291 --> 00:20:34,004 I owe you a big debt of gratitude 415 00:20:34,004 --> 00:20:35,996 for bringing my daughter home alive and in one piece. 416 00:20:35,996 --> 00:20:37,292 Grazie, grazie. 417 00:20:37,292 --> 00:20:39,754 - Dad, this is Chuck, our manager. 418 00:20:39,754 --> 00:20:40,587 - Manager? 419 00:20:43,323 --> 00:20:44,819 What's your percentage? 420 00:20:44,819 --> 00:20:45,817 - Oh, don't start. 421 00:20:45,817 --> 00:20:47,212 Can we eat first? 422 00:20:47,212 --> 00:20:48,045 Uh... 423 00:20:49,390 --> 00:20:51,307 - Oh, yeah, sure, sure. 424 00:20:52,154 --> 00:20:52,987 Come on. 425 00:21:01,005 --> 00:21:02,487 - [Gina] Uh, Chuck, this my mom. 426 00:21:02,487 --> 00:21:03,591 - Nice to meet you. - Hi, Chuck. 427 00:21:03,591 --> 00:21:05,588 I hope you like fish. 428 00:21:05,588 --> 00:21:06,755 - I love fish. 429 00:21:07,743 --> 00:21:09,105 I love it. 430 00:21:09,105 --> 00:21:10,430 I've been eating it since I was this high, 431 00:21:10,430 --> 00:21:11,501 you know what I mean? 432 00:21:11,501 --> 00:21:12,334 Guppies. 433 00:21:12,334 --> 00:21:13,752 Right, right, you name it. 434 00:21:13,752 --> 00:21:15,321 - What's with the routine? 435 00:21:15,321 --> 00:21:18,321 Are you auditioning for a talk show? 436 00:21:25,459 --> 00:21:27,794 Thank you God, for protecting me one more day 437 00:21:27,794 --> 00:21:31,103 from being poisoned, stabbed, gunned down, run over, 438 00:21:31,103 --> 00:21:34,582 had my head broken, and fitted for cement shoes. 439 00:21:34,582 --> 00:21:37,446 And also God, thank you for taking good care of my family 440 00:21:37,446 --> 00:21:38,840 and keeping them in good health. 441 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:39,673 Amen. 442 00:21:43,147 --> 00:21:45,064 Yes, all except Vinnie. 443 00:21:46,593 --> 00:21:48,250 Amen, over and out. 444 00:21:48,250 --> 00:21:49,595 - Uh, Vinnie, this is Chuck. 445 00:21:49,595 --> 00:21:51,601 Chuck, this is my cousin, Vinnie. 446 00:21:51,601 --> 00:21:52,516 - How you doing, Chuck? 447 00:21:52,516 --> 00:21:54,276 It's a pleasure, I'm sure. 448 00:21:54,276 --> 00:21:55,916 - Uh, you sure you got enough on that plate 449 00:21:55,916 --> 00:21:58,025 to take care of your girls in the magazine? 450 00:21:58,025 --> 00:22:00,679 (Louie laughing) 451 00:22:00,679 --> 00:22:02,179 So, Mr. Manager... 452 00:22:03,439 --> 00:22:05,074 I'm a businessman. 453 00:22:05,074 --> 00:22:07,239 I'm in the fish business. 454 00:22:07,239 --> 00:22:08,757 Frozen fish. 455 00:22:08,757 --> 00:22:10,212 So let's talk tuna. 456 00:22:10,212 --> 00:22:12,370 I gather that you are a businessman too, 457 00:22:12,370 --> 00:22:14,504 because you represent my daughter Gina, 458 00:22:14,504 --> 00:22:16,594 who is terrific at everything she does. 459 00:22:16,594 --> 00:22:17,594 Right, Gina? 460 00:22:18,577 --> 00:22:20,010 Now, listen, uh... 461 00:22:20,010 --> 00:22:21,389 We should talk percentages. 462 00:22:21,389 --> 00:22:22,222 I mean... 463 00:22:23,118 --> 00:22:25,558 What percentage, uh, do you take? 464 00:22:25,558 --> 00:22:28,469 Uh, how much fish do you swallow? 465 00:22:28,469 --> 00:22:29,969 You take 50%? 466 00:22:30,902 --> 00:22:33,113 Maybe you take 10%? 467 00:22:33,113 --> 00:22:34,555 - Uh... 468 00:22:34,555 --> 00:22:35,388 Yeah. 469 00:22:35,388 --> 00:22:39,138 - Or-or-or maybe it's only 5%, hmm, hmm? 470 00:22:41,223 --> 00:22:42,056 - Yeah. 471 00:22:42,056 --> 00:22:46,223 - Or maybe just a teeny, weeny, tiny little percent? 472 00:22:48,086 --> 00:22:51,465 (men laughing) 473 00:22:51,465 --> 00:22:53,152 (Chuck coughing) 474 00:22:53,152 --> 00:22:54,632 - Oh my God! 475 00:22:54,632 --> 00:22:56,465 He's choking to death! 476 00:22:57,462 --> 00:22:59,830 And I got jello mold for dessert! 477 00:22:59,830 --> 00:23:01,845 - [Gina] Oh, ma... 478 00:23:01,845 --> 00:23:04,710 - They poisoned the wrong plate... 479 00:23:04,710 --> 00:23:07,142 - [Chuck] So while I resumed my Guppy nightmares 480 00:23:07,142 --> 00:23:09,542 and Gina's father debated about ways to fry 481 00:23:09,542 --> 00:23:11,850 the family's competition, 482 00:23:11,850 --> 00:23:13,946 the demonic Dean Hunta 483 00:23:13,946 --> 00:23:17,446 was planning a little clambake of her own. 484 00:23:19,323 --> 00:23:23,323 - Girls, you have made your return to school this fall 485 00:23:23,323 --> 00:23:25,656 a most enjoyable one for me. 486 00:23:27,472 --> 00:23:31,139 Seeing that rodent from Phi Beta eat dirt... 487 00:23:33,983 --> 00:23:35,447 - Was well worth the wait? 488 00:23:35,447 --> 00:23:36,280 - Shut up! 489 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:37,513 (intercom buzzing) - Dean Hunta? 490 00:23:37,513 --> 00:23:39,250 - What do you want, Karl? 491 00:23:39,250 --> 00:23:40,821 - [Karl] The fat one's here. 492 00:23:40,821 --> 00:23:43,987 (Karl laughing) 493 00:23:43,987 --> 00:23:46,107 - I thought I told you 494 00:23:46,107 --> 00:23:48,024 never to use that word! 495 00:23:50,614 --> 00:23:51,447 - [Karl] Ah! 496 00:23:51,447 --> 00:23:52,393 (Karl speaking foreign language) 497 00:23:52,393 --> 00:23:53,846 You disgusting witch! 498 00:23:53,846 --> 00:23:55,460 You miserable hippopotamus! 499 00:23:55,460 --> 00:23:57,457 You almost broke my-- 500 00:23:57,457 --> 00:23:58,290 - You're late. 501 00:23:58,290 --> 00:23:59,123 Sit down! 502 00:24:00,116 --> 00:24:03,366 As you have already probably guessed... 503 00:24:05,930 --> 00:24:08,559 There is a lot at stake here. 504 00:24:08,559 --> 00:24:11,309 (girls laughing) 505 00:24:14,016 --> 00:24:17,016 One of your sorority houses must go. 506 00:24:17,917 --> 00:24:19,334 Bite the big one. 507 00:24:20,354 --> 00:24:23,437 One of your houses must be torn down, 508 00:24:24,299 --> 00:24:27,299 for a new sewage treatment facility. 509 00:24:28,687 --> 00:24:32,905 So we will have a little athletic competition. 510 00:24:32,905 --> 00:24:35,802 There will be three events. 511 00:24:35,802 --> 00:24:36,635 Soccer... 512 00:24:38,300 --> 00:24:41,467 Wrestling, I especially like that one. 513 00:24:42,992 --> 00:24:44,820 And basketball. 514 00:24:44,820 --> 00:24:48,570 The first house to lose two events, Phi Beta, 515 00:24:49,910 --> 00:24:51,743 will be the one to go. 516 00:24:54,708 --> 00:24:56,303 And don't forget. 517 00:24:56,303 --> 00:25:00,136 Friday, we'll see you on the soccer field, eh? 518 00:25:02,335 --> 00:25:04,085 My little pudgy Pele? 519 00:25:05,289 --> 00:25:07,956 (Fern laughing) 520 00:25:09,022 --> 00:25:09,855 Now... 521 00:25:11,029 --> 00:25:14,696 I don't give a dead rat's ass how you do it, 522 00:25:17,361 --> 00:25:19,937 you just make sure you win. 523 00:25:19,937 --> 00:25:20,770 - Dean Hunta-- 524 00:25:20,770 --> 00:25:25,590 (thunderclap booming) (slide whistle whistling) 525 00:25:25,590 --> 00:25:28,111 May, may we ask you a question? 526 00:25:28,111 --> 00:25:29,847 - Well, ask the goddamn question. 527 00:25:29,847 --> 00:25:33,622 - Well, it's just that we were wondering, 528 00:25:33,622 --> 00:25:37,432 why do you hate the Phi Beta Sorority so much? 529 00:25:37,432 --> 00:25:40,214 Is it something buried deep in your past? 530 00:25:40,214 --> 00:25:42,416 Some dark secret that you've carried with you 531 00:25:42,416 --> 00:25:46,230 all these years, like an unhealed scar? 532 00:25:46,230 --> 00:25:47,063 - No. 533 00:25:49,575 --> 00:25:53,742 It's just another example of senseless random violence 534 00:25:55,203 --> 00:25:57,953 perpetrated against the underdog. 535 00:25:58,993 --> 00:25:59,826 - Oh. 536 00:25:59,826 --> 00:26:02,516 Well, that clears that up. 537 00:26:02,516 --> 00:26:03,683 - Now get out. 538 00:26:07,009 --> 00:26:08,526 (upbeat rock music) 539 00:26:08,526 --> 00:26:12,693 (whistle blowing) (people cheering) 540 00:26:18,894 --> 00:26:20,807 ♪ Hey ♪ 541 00:26:20,807 --> 00:26:22,966 - What'd you want to come here for, anyway? 542 00:26:22,966 --> 00:26:27,146 - I have this morbid fascination with pain and suffering. 543 00:26:27,146 --> 00:26:29,112 ♪ Germs make me start to thinkin' ♪ 544 00:26:29,112 --> 00:26:31,178 ♪ Thinkin' make me turn to drinkin' ♪ 545 00:26:31,178 --> 00:26:33,122 ♪ Drinkin' makes me stinkin' drunk ♪ 546 00:26:33,122 --> 00:26:37,338 ♪ 'Til I listen but I listen well ♪ 547 00:26:37,338 --> 00:26:38,171 ♪ Hey ♪ 548 00:26:38,171 --> 00:26:39,260 - Ooh! 549 00:26:39,260 --> 00:26:40,469 - [Girl] Ah! 550 00:26:40,469 --> 00:26:41,302 - Oh! 551 00:26:43,641 --> 00:26:45,388 ♪ Pretty girls will start to fake ♪ 552 00:26:45,388 --> 00:26:47,589 ♪ And when they see me walk away ♪ 553 00:26:47,589 --> 00:26:49,460 ♪ That's when I can walk it off ♪ 554 00:26:49,460 --> 00:26:51,723 ♪ And when I can't, I sink and crawl ♪ 555 00:26:51,723 --> 00:26:55,334 ♪ Oh, how I love to pass you by ♪ 556 00:26:55,334 --> 00:26:58,251 (crowd applauding) 557 00:26:59,469 --> 00:27:02,423 ♪ Yes I love to pass you by ♪ 558 00:27:02,423 --> 00:27:03,256 - Oh! 559 00:27:03,256 --> 00:27:06,769 (whistle blowing) 560 00:27:06,769 --> 00:27:07,602 Oh... 561 00:27:11,099 --> 00:27:13,037 ♪ Underneath that bottle of Swiss ♪ 562 00:27:13,037 --> 00:27:15,305 ♪ I know there's at least one kiss ♪ 563 00:27:15,305 --> 00:27:17,132 ♪ Saved up for the likes of me ♪ 564 00:27:17,132 --> 00:27:19,735 ♪ 'Cause I was where I shouldn't be ♪ 565 00:27:19,735 --> 00:27:23,735 (crowd cheering and applauding) 566 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:30,756 (whistle blowing) 567 00:27:30,756 --> 00:27:31,589 - Oh! 568 00:27:32,661 --> 00:27:34,190 So uh, come on. 569 00:27:34,190 --> 00:27:36,318 Where are all your players? 570 00:27:36,318 --> 00:27:38,400 We can't play with ourselves. 571 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,030 - Want me to show you how? 572 00:27:40,030 --> 00:27:41,224 - Look, why don't you back off, 573 00:27:41,224 --> 00:27:42,664 Hyman-whatever your name is? 574 00:27:42,664 --> 00:27:43,666 (Fern chuckling) 575 00:27:43,666 --> 00:27:44,651 - Oh. 576 00:27:44,651 --> 00:27:48,905 Well, well, well, aren't we the brave one? 577 00:27:48,905 --> 00:27:51,655 (Fern chuckling) 578 00:27:52,567 --> 00:27:53,984 Listen uh, fatso. 579 00:27:55,529 --> 00:27:58,700 The rules are if you don't have any players left, 580 00:27:58,700 --> 00:27:59,700 you forfeit. 581 00:28:00,739 --> 00:28:01,989 Simple as that. 582 00:28:03,264 --> 00:28:06,014 (Fern chuckling) 583 00:28:08,323 --> 00:28:09,156 - Oh! 584 00:28:10,249 --> 00:28:11,177 - Help me up. 585 00:28:11,177 --> 00:28:12,322 I'm going back in there. 586 00:28:12,322 --> 00:28:13,229 - [Gina] You okay? 587 00:28:13,229 --> 00:28:16,479 - Well enough to kick that bitch's ass. 588 00:28:18,414 --> 00:28:20,097 - I'm goin' in with ya. 589 00:28:20,097 --> 00:28:21,641 - What? 590 00:28:21,641 --> 00:28:23,724 - I said, I'm gonna play. 591 00:28:24,837 --> 00:28:26,100 - But they won't let you. 592 00:28:26,100 --> 00:28:27,118 I mean, you can't. 593 00:28:27,118 --> 00:28:29,128 You're not a part of our house. 594 00:28:29,128 --> 00:28:29,961 - Now I am. 595 00:28:29,961 --> 00:28:31,664 ♪ I'd love to crash your party ♪ 596 00:28:31,664 --> 00:28:35,581 ♪ I'd love to crash your party ♪ 597 00:28:36,586 --> 00:28:37,964 - Great, great, hold onto it! 598 00:28:37,964 --> 00:28:38,797 Go! 599 00:28:41,418 --> 00:28:43,767 Hey wait a minute, she's not in your house. 600 00:28:43,767 --> 00:28:44,850 - She is now. 601 00:28:47,659 --> 00:28:49,149 - Oh, girls. 602 00:28:49,149 --> 00:28:50,607 - Hi. - So what's your name? 603 00:28:50,607 --> 00:28:51,440 - Gina. 604 00:28:51,440 --> 00:28:53,474 - [Midge] Gina, do you know anything about soccer? 605 00:28:53,474 --> 00:28:55,478 - A little but-- - How little? 606 00:28:55,478 --> 00:28:56,824 - Nothing. 607 00:28:56,824 --> 00:28:59,907 - Hey look, isn't that Gina in there? 608 00:29:00,950 --> 00:29:01,950 Go Gina, go! 609 00:29:03,151 --> 00:29:06,705 (crowd cheering) 610 00:29:06,705 --> 00:29:09,232 Hey, they're pickin' on our Gina in there. 611 00:29:09,232 --> 00:29:10,881 Come on. 612 00:29:10,881 --> 00:29:14,404 - [Girl] Hey, wait a minute, come on. 613 00:29:14,404 --> 00:29:17,355 - Hey, I've got money invested in that lead guitarist. 614 00:29:17,355 --> 00:29:18,332 - Oh really? 615 00:29:18,332 --> 00:29:19,718 I'm really scared but-- 616 00:29:19,718 --> 00:29:20,551 (drums rolling) 617 00:29:20,551 --> 00:29:21,551 - [Fern] Oh! 618 00:29:22,856 --> 00:29:25,103 - [Chuck] Well, the Phi Betas may have lost a soccer game, 619 00:29:25,103 --> 00:29:27,639 but they gained an all-girl rock band. 620 00:29:27,639 --> 00:29:30,621 Now we were really in it, up to our necks. 621 00:29:30,621 --> 00:29:31,847 - Hello, pain fans. 622 00:29:31,847 --> 00:29:33,499 We're here at the emergency ward 623 00:29:33,499 --> 00:29:35,442 of Phi Beta General Hospital to find out 624 00:29:35,442 --> 00:29:37,345 what physical torment is really like, 625 00:29:37,345 --> 00:29:39,551 to get the inside scoop on suffering. 626 00:29:39,551 --> 00:29:42,123 Um, can we come in a little tighter on this broken arm? 627 00:29:42,123 --> 00:29:44,640 Uh, excuse me miss, would you tell our viewers 628 00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:47,494 what it feels like to have your own personal arm 629 00:29:47,494 --> 00:29:49,085 broken into itty-bitty little pieces? 630 00:29:49,085 --> 00:29:50,597 - Oh! 631 00:29:50,597 --> 00:29:52,549 - Many of our viewers have written in to ask 632 00:29:52,549 --> 00:29:55,067 what actually happens when a person with a broken leg 633 00:29:55,067 --> 00:29:57,786 suddenly loses his or her crutch. 634 00:29:57,786 --> 00:29:58,799 - [Girl] Oh! 635 00:29:58,799 --> 00:29:59,718 - There you have it, folks. 636 00:29:59,718 --> 00:30:02,409 And remember, you saw it here first. 637 00:30:02,409 --> 00:30:04,266 Come on everybody, lighten up. 638 00:30:04,266 --> 00:30:05,743 Things aren't that bad. 639 00:30:05,743 --> 00:30:08,172 Tomorrow is another day. 640 00:30:08,172 --> 00:30:09,827 - You know what I wish we could do? 641 00:30:09,827 --> 00:30:11,294 - Drugs? 642 00:30:11,294 --> 00:30:15,666 - I want us to trounce them in the next event. 643 00:30:15,666 --> 00:30:17,828 If we could find someone, 644 00:30:17,828 --> 00:30:20,907 someone who'd be willing to work with us day and night-- 645 00:30:20,907 --> 00:30:22,639 - I have somebody who would love to help. 646 00:30:22,639 --> 00:30:24,109 Of course, he drools a lot. 647 00:30:24,109 --> 00:30:27,572 - All right girls, now listen up. 648 00:30:27,572 --> 00:30:30,638 Now I understand you want someone to come in here 649 00:30:30,638 --> 00:30:33,375 and train you all right, get you all into shape, 650 00:30:33,375 --> 00:30:35,457 and that's exactly what I intend to do, 651 00:30:35,457 --> 00:30:37,405 get y'all in shape. 652 00:30:37,405 --> 00:30:39,779 And it's not gonna be easy. 653 00:30:39,779 --> 00:30:43,435 Now the first thing we're gonna do is runnin' in place. 654 00:30:43,435 --> 00:30:47,571 Does anybody know what happens when you run in place? 655 00:30:47,571 --> 00:30:48,788 - You miss the bus? 656 00:30:48,788 --> 00:30:49,621 (girls laughing) 657 00:30:49,621 --> 00:30:53,317 - All right you, with the fat lip, give me 10. 658 00:30:53,317 --> 00:30:55,265 - Oh, all I got's 20, coach. 659 00:30:55,265 --> 00:30:57,598 - I said give me 10 pushups! 660 00:31:05,839 --> 00:31:06,756 - You jerk! 661 00:31:07,683 --> 00:31:09,464 - All right, the rest of you. 662 00:31:09,464 --> 00:31:11,523 Now, do as I do. 663 00:31:11,523 --> 00:31:13,297 Running in place. 664 00:31:13,297 --> 00:31:14,605 Swing your arms. 665 00:31:14,605 --> 00:31:16,724 (upbeat music) 666 00:31:16,724 --> 00:31:19,493 Now lift your knees as high as you can. 667 00:31:19,493 --> 00:31:20,506 That's right, come on now! 668 00:31:20,506 --> 00:31:22,941 All right everybody, running in place, that's it! 669 00:31:22,941 --> 00:31:23,898 In place, let's go! 670 00:31:23,898 --> 00:31:24,998 Get 'em up, get 'em up there! 671 00:31:24,998 --> 00:31:26,216 Spit out that gum! 672 00:31:26,216 --> 00:31:27,341 Come on now, higher, higher! 673 00:31:27,341 --> 00:31:28,174 Come on now! 674 00:31:28,174 --> 00:31:29,760 I said get 'em up, get 'em up! 675 00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:31,007 Come on, get up! 676 00:31:31,007 --> 00:31:31,998 Get 'em up! 677 00:31:31,998 --> 00:31:33,773 Get 'em up there! 678 00:31:33,773 --> 00:31:34,940 Get up, lardo! 679 00:31:35,778 --> 00:31:38,012 (sighing) 680 00:31:38,012 --> 00:31:41,201 Okay girls, for your upcoming wrestling match, 681 00:31:41,201 --> 00:31:43,253 the first thing you gotta learn to do 682 00:31:43,253 --> 00:31:47,674 is keep your opponent's shoulders pinned for a three count. 683 00:31:47,674 --> 00:31:50,721 Now, do I have a volunteer? 684 00:31:50,721 --> 00:31:51,721 You, Susie. 685 00:31:55,277 --> 00:31:57,426 ♪ Ooh ♪ 686 00:31:57,426 --> 00:31:59,408 ♪ Who cares what people say ♪ 687 00:31:59,408 --> 00:32:01,473 - Now, you be my opponent. 688 00:32:01,473 --> 00:32:03,140 Lay down on the mat. 689 00:32:09,874 --> 00:32:11,585 Now the thing to remember is 690 00:32:11,585 --> 00:32:13,936 you've gotta keep your opponent's shoulders pinned 691 00:32:13,936 --> 00:32:15,936 for the count of three. 692 00:32:18,573 --> 00:32:21,366 The full body press is best. 693 00:32:21,366 --> 00:32:23,264 (Gina chuckling) 694 00:32:23,264 --> 00:32:24,580 One! 695 00:32:24,580 --> 00:32:26,070 I love you, Susan. 696 00:32:26,070 --> 00:32:27,327 (girls laughing) 697 00:32:27,327 --> 00:32:28,927 Two! 698 00:32:28,927 --> 00:32:31,020 If you marry me, we don't have to do it every night. 699 00:32:31,020 --> 00:32:31,853 I promise. 700 00:32:32,942 --> 00:32:33,775 Three! 701 00:32:36,798 --> 00:32:38,368 Get up. 702 00:32:38,368 --> 00:32:39,951 Come on Susan, get up. 703 00:32:39,951 --> 00:32:44,060 - Hey, I think you squished her to death. 704 00:32:44,060 --> 00:32:45,651 - Wait, I think she's coming to. 705 00:32:45,651 --> 00:32:46,862 - She's coming to? 706 00:32:46,862 --> 00:32:49,601 (chuckles) Well, we all know Warwick did, but Susie? 707 00:32:49,601 --> 00:32:50,951 (girls chuckling) 708 00:32:50,951 --> 00:32:53,201 - Okay, wise guys, 50 laps! 709 00:32:54,057 --> 00:32:56,044 - Warwick's heart was in the right place, 710 00:32:56,044 --> 00:32:58,843 even if his brains were just below his belt. 711 00:32:58,843 --> 00:33:01,101 And since Crusades seemed to be the order of the day, 712 00:33:01,101 --> 00:33:02,935 I found mine in Gina's cousin Vinnie, 713 00:33:02,935 --> 00:33:07,339 who's masculine self-image was in pretty bad shape. 714 00:33:07,339 --> 00:33:09,434 Why is everyone so negative about uh, 715 00:33:09,434 --> 00:33:10,924 introducing you to a few girls? 716 00:33:10,924 --> 00:33:12,423 - I don't know, it's gonna sound crazy, 717 00:33:12,423 --> 00:33:15,896 but nobody will fix me up with anybody. 718 00:33:15,896 --> 00:33:18,153 I mean, Chuckie, look at me. 719 00:33:18,153 --> 00:33:19,875 Look at my face. 720 00:33:19,875 --> 00:33:21,591 Not like a queer, nothin' like that. 721 00:33:21,591 --> 00:33:23,630 Like, like you look at Steve Reeves in the movies, 722 00:33:23,630 --> 00:33:25,549 like Hercules, you know? 723 00:33:25,549 --> 00:33:27,648 I'm a nice looking guy, right? 724 00:33:27,648 --> 00:33:30,719 I'm-I'm a good lookin', I'm handsome, ain't I? 725 00:33:30,719 --> 00:33:31,969 Seriously, huh? 726 00:33:32,883 --> 00:33:37,013 My cousin Angie called me a supple little hunk, you know? 727 00:33:37,013 --> 00:33:39,113 Let me tell you a little story, huh? 728 00:33:39,113 --> 00:33:40,371 I'm at the bus stop the other day. 729 00:33:40,371 --> 00:33:43,273 Me and this girl, I'm not bothering nobody. 730 00:33:43,273 --> 00:33:45,060 I can see her looking at me out the side of her eye. 731 00:33:45,060 --> 00:33:47,476 I'm not botherin', you know? 732 00:33:47,476 --> 00:33:49,331 She comes over to me. 733 00:33:49,331 --> 00:33:52,586 She says, "Excuse me, what time is it?" 734 00:33:52,586 --> 00:33:54,312 Anyway, I say to her, I says, 735 00:33:54,312 --> 00:33:57,302 "Look, why don't you come over to my house, 736 00:33:57,302 --> 00:34:01,166 "we'll sleep together, bada-boom, bada-bing, eh? 737 00:34:01,166 --> 00:34:02,765 "Then I'll buy you lunch." 738 00:34:02,765 --> 00:34:03,996 She smacks me. 739 00:34:03,996 --> 00:34:05,357 She smacks me! 740 00:34:05,357 --> 00:34:07,162 You know, I offered to buy this chick lunch, 741 00:34:07,162 --> 00:34:08,693 she's calling me names, walking away. 742 00:34:08,693 --> 00:34:09,602 Smacks me! 743 00:34:09,602 --> 00:34:11,161 - Yeah, okay, okay, settle down, Vinnie. 744 00:34:11,161 --> 00:34:12,645 - Nothing, huh? - You settle down, Vinnie. 745 00:34:12,645 --> 00:34:14,099 Vinnie, Vinnie, why don't you read something? 746 00:34:14,099 --> 00:34:15,066 Why don't you read this? 747 00:34:15,066 --> 00:34:16,096 Why don't you check this out there, Vinnie? 748 00:34:16,096 --> 00:34:18,161 See there, hypnotism and lust. 749 00:34:18,161 --> 00:34:21,294 Uh, mind control and the macho man-- 750 00:34:21,294 --> 00:34:24,544 - Chuckie, baby, that's not a bad idea. 751 00:34:45,073 --> 00:34:46,356 - I can't take it. 752 00:34:46,356 --> 00:34:47,645 I can't go on. 753 00:34:47,645 --> 00:34:49,086 My heart, my lungs. 754 00:34:49,086 --> 00:34:50,580 Everything's gone black. 755 00:34:50,580 --> 00:34:51,534 - Is she passing out? 756 00:34:51,534 --> 00:34:52,421 - I mean it, you guys. 757 00:34:52,421 --> 00:34:54,202 My body can't take it. 758 00:34:54,202 --> 00:34:55,367 - You're right. 759 00:34:55,367 --> 00:34:57,436 This is just not gonna work. 760 00:34:57,436 --> 00:34:59,420 We have to think of a way to get to Dean Hunta. 761 00:34:59,420 --> 00:35:02,753 (locker doors slamming) 762 00:35:03,650 --> 00:35:08,149 I'm thinking of doing something really low, really mean, 763 00:35:08,149 --> 00:35:09,668 and really sick. 764 00:35:09,668 --> 00:35:12,624 - Like a blind date with a business major, maybe? 765 00:35:12,624 --> 00:35:14,850 - Something even more vicious. 766 00:35:14,850 --> 00:35:17,176 I'm talking about... 767 00:35:17,176 --> 00:35:18,426 I don't know... 768 00:35:19,731 --> 00:35:20,564 Blackmail. 769 00:35:24,541 --> 00:35:25,869 If we could get something on her, 770 00:35:25,869 --> 00:35:28,124 something that she wouldn't want spread around, 771 00:35:28,124 --> 00:35:29,777 then we could win. 772 00:35:29,777 --> 00:35:31,226 - You mean, like the fact that 773 00:35:31,226 --> 00:35:33,956 her husband's a pervert? 774 00:35:33,956 --> 00:35:34,789 - Pervert? 775 00:35:34,789 --> 00:35:36,545 - Well yeah, he's our family dentist. 776 00:35:36,545 --> 00:35:38,980 He asked me if I wanted gas, and he told me to open wide. 777 00:35:38,980 --> 00:35:39,813 - So? 778 00:35:39,813 --> 00:35:40,892 - My mother had the toothache. 779 00:35:40,892 --> 00:35:41,987 He's a lousy dentist too. 780 00:35:41,987 --> 00:35:44,227 You wanna see these caps? 781 00:35:44,227 --> 00:35:45,060 - Check it out. 782 00:35:45,060 --> 00:35:48,020 He actually drew little smile faces on them. 783 00:35:48,020 --> 00:35:50,594 - Sounds like prime blackmail material. 784 00:35:50,594 --> 00:35:51,479 What do you say girls? 785 00:35:51,479 --> 00:35:53,343 Do we go for it? 786 00:35:53,343 --> 00:35:54,351 - [All] Yeah! 787 00:35:54,351 --> 00:35:57,062 (upbeat rock music) 788 00:35:57,062 --> 00:35:59,728 ♪ Ooh baby, I get so nervous ♪ 789 00:35:59,728 --> 00:36:02,356 ♪ When I can only get your service ♪ 790 00:36:02,356 --> 00:36:05,130 ♪ I'm sitting by my Princess phone ♪ 791 00:36:05,130 --> 00:36:07,914 ♪ But all I hear is the dial tone ♪ 792 00:36:07,914 --> 00:36:10,776 ♪ Don't neglect or disconnect me ♪ 793 00:36:10,776 --> 00:36:12,615 (laughing) 794 00:36:12,615 --> 00:36:14,865 (snorting) 795 00:36:18,529 --> 00:36:19,362 Oh... 796 00:36:20,612 --> 00:36:22,139 (laughing) 797 00:36:22,139 --> 00:36:24,487 ♪ Don't release me ♪ 798 00:36:24,487 --> 00:36:27,481 ♪ Don't put me on hold on hold on hold on hold on ♪ 799 00:36:27,481 --> 00:36:31,481 ♪ Hold on, don't put me on hold ♪ 800 00:36:32,421 --> 00:36:33,586 - Hi there, boys and girls. 801 00:36:33,586 --> 00:36:35,277 I'm your friend, Mr. Tooth. 802 00:36:35,277 --> 00:36:36,585 I live in your mouth. 803 00:36:36,585 --> 00:36:39,654 Where it's damp, pushy, and filled with germs. 804 00:36:39,654 --> 00:36:41,654 Kind of like New Jersey. 805 00:36:43,459 --> 00:36:45,499 - And I'm your other friend, Mr. Brush. 806 00:36:45,499 --> 00:36:49,091 I try to keep Mr. Tooth and his whole neighborhood clean, 807 00:36:49,091 --> 00:36:50,851 kind of like the vice squad. 808 00:36:50,851 --> 00:36:53,059 - And this is my girlfriend, Miss Toothpaste. 809 00:36:53,059 --> 00:36:56,443 Just squeeze her from the bottom, and boy, does she put out! 810 00:36:56,443 --> 00:36:59,143 - [Both] You gotta brush your teeth every day, 811 00:36:59,143 --> 00:37:01,307 to make those cavities go away! 812 00:37:01,307 --> 00:37:03,656 - But dirty teeth are a terrible sin! 813 00:37:03,656 --> 00:37:06,994 - So open your mouth, and shove me in. 814 00:37:06,994 --> 00:37:09,213 - God, oh God, let this hallucination go on forever 815 00:37:09,213 --> 00:37:12,819 and I promise I'll never pay my income tax late again! 816 00:37:12,819 --> 00:37:16,819 ("So Long Baby" by Del Shannon) 817 00:37:20,559 --> 00:37:22,395 ♪ I see you're laughing and ah ♪ 818 00:37:22,395 --> 00:37:24,317 ♪ Telling everyone in town ♪ 819 00:37:24,317 --> 00:37:28,204 ♪ That you've made a fool of me ♪ 820 00:37:28,204 --> 00:37:30,031 ♪ Well go and talk some more 'cause ♪ 821 00:37:30,031 --> 00:37:32,079 ♪ Baby I don't care no more ♪ 822 00:37:32,079 --> 00:37:35,984 ♪ You don't bother me at all ♪ 823 00:37:35,984 --> 00:37:37,892 ♪ 'Cause I got news for you ♪ 824 00:37:37,892 --> 00:37:39,805 ♪ I was untrue too ♪ 825 00:37:39,805 --> 00:37:43,682 ♪ And I don't care what you say ♪ 826 00:37:43,682 --> 00:37:45,648 ♪ So go and laugh some more 'cause ♪ 827 00:37:45,648 --> 00:37:47,262 ♪ Baby I don't care no more ♪ 828 00:37:47,262 --> 00:37:52,262 ♪ I've got another lover of my own ♪ 829 00:37:53,511 --> 00:37:57,353 ♪ Step by step you put me down ♪ 830 00:37:57,353 --> 00:38:01,210 ♪ Always calling me a clown ♪ 831 00:38:01,210 --> 00:38:04,685 ♪ If you ever go away, promise me that you'll stay ♪ 832 00:38:04,685 --> 00:38:09,065 ♪ Far, far, far, far, far from me ♪ 833 00:38:09,065 --> 00:38:10,756 ♪ Now that we've played our game ♪ 834 00:38:10,756 --> 00:38:12,810 ♪ I guess we're both to blame ♪ 835 00:38:12,810 --> 00:38:16,674 ♪ We tried to break each other's hearts ♪ 836 00:38:16,674 --> 00:38:18,623 ♪ You had one jump on me but ♪ 837 00:38:18,623 --> 00:38:20,154 ♪ I jumped twice you see ♪ 838 00:38:20,154 --> 00:38:23,483 ♪ It's all over now, be on your way ♪ 839 00:38:23,483 --> 00:38:26,983 (camera shutter clicking) 840 00:38:32,985 --> 00:38:35,818 (dramatic music) 841 00:38:41,815 --> 00:38:45,144 - "If you're having trouble recognizing this chick, 842 00:38:45,144 --> 00:38:47,525 "we'll give you a clue. 843 00:38:47,525 --> 00:38:50,765 "It's the rooster you're married to. 844 00:38:50,765 --> 00:38:52,565 "If you don't want the school board 845 00:38:52,565 --> 00:38:55,692 "to see Harvey's publicity shots, 846 00:38:55,692 --> 00:38:59,859 "just let us name the rules for the next two games, 847 00:39:01,263 --> 00:39:04,346 "then we'll send you the kinky ones." 848 00:39:06,303 --> 00:39:07,136 Karl! 849 00:39:07,136 --> 00:39:09,440 - [Karl] Yes, oh disgusting one? 850 00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:10,957 - Get me Dr. Bliss! 851 00:39:10,957 --> 00:39:12,584 - [Karl] Jawohl, mein hippo! 852 00:39:12,584 --> 00:39:15,277 (Karl laughing) 853 00:39:15,277 --> 00:39:17,516 - It's going to be all right now, isn't it? 854 00:39:17,516 --> 00:39:19,599 After all, I am the Dean. 855 00:39:21,933 --> 00:39:23,766 Dean, dependable Dean. 856 00:39:27,119 --> 00:39:28,036 Angry Dean. 857 00:39:30,872 --> 00:39:32,589 Mad Dog Dean! 858 00:39:32,589 --> 00:39:33,754 - [Dr. Bliss] Dr. Bliss here. 859 00:39:33,754 --> 00:39:35,899 - I'm having another crisis. 860 00:39:35,899 --> 00:39:36,995 - [Dr. Bliss] You must let it pass. 861 00:39:36,995 --> 00:39:38,895 - I'm not having gas, you fool. 862 00:39:38,895 --> 00:39:40,478 I'm losing control. 863 00:39:41,645 --> 00:39:43,767 You don't know what's inside me. 864 00:39:43,767 --> 00:39:46,368 It's very destructive! 865 00:39:46,368 --> 00:39:47,770 - [Dr. Bliss] That is why one must meditate 866 00:39:47,770 --> 00:39:49,391 to alleviate all negativisms. 867 00:39:49,391 --> 00:39:51,454 Always be positive to avoid being negative. 868 00:39:51,454 --> 00:39:53,232 All destructive tendencies can be controlled 869 00:39:53,232 --> 00:39:55,304 by a high drug-induced stream of consciousness. 870 00:39:55,304 --> 00:39:57,170 You must let your anger out, or let out your anger-- 871 00:39:57,170 --> 00:39:59,068 (screaming) 872 00:39:59,068 --> 00:40:00,985 Thank you, and goodbye. 873 00:40:02,729 --> 00:40:05,979 - Girls, I've been doing some thinking. 874 00:40:07,142 --> 00:40:10,954 You do understand the word thinking, Scagliani? 875 00:40:10,954 --> 00:40:13,684 - Thinking: a conjugated verb meaning to ponder or mull. 876 00:40:13,684 --> 00:40:14,517 - Shut up! 877 00:40:15,607 --> 00:40:16,440 Now... 878 00:40:17,761 --> 00:40:21,594 Since Phi Beta is going to be massacred anyway 879 00:40:22,825 --> 00:40:26,992 in the next two games, I thought it only fair to uh, 880 00:40:28,098 --> 00:40:30,403 let them name the rules of the game. 881 00:40:30,403 --> 00:40:31,236 - [Both] What? 882 00:40:31,236 --> 00:40:32,069 What do you mean? 883 00:40:32,069 --> 00:40:34,166 - Put a hose in it! 884 00:40:34,166 --> 00:40:36,847 Let it never be said that Dean Hunta 885 00:40:36,847 --> 00:40:39,347 does not play fair and square. 886 00:40:40,981 --> 00:40:44,973 Just because I'm playing fair and square 887 00:40:44,973 --> 00:40:47,056 doesn't mean you have to. 888 00:40:48,155 --> 00:40:49,815 Do you read me? 889 00:40:49,815 --> 00:40:50,726 (Fern chuckling) 890 00:40:50,726 --> 00:40:51,813 Okay. 891 00:40:51,813 --> 00:40:52,646 Out. 892 00:40:56,632 --> 00:40:58,175 - [Chuck] After their embarrassing defeat 893 00:40:58,175 --> 00:41:00,957 on the soccer field, the girls knew they had to win this one 894 00:41:00,957 --> 00:41:03,003 or throw in the towel, and from the looks of things, 895 00:41:03,003 --> 00:41:05,634 the psychological warfare was definitely paying off. 896 00:41:05,634 --> 00:41:08,759 - What size panties do you think Lois wears? 897 00:41:08,759 --> 00:41:12,052 - Well, if she ever wore panties, probably about a medium. 898 00:41:12,052 --> 00:41:14,885 - Gee, darn it, these are a small. 899 00:41:16,483 --> 00:41:17,566 I don't know. 900 00:41:18,883 --> 00:41:20,458 I guess it'd be kind of uncomfortable, 901 00:41:20,458 --> 00:41:23,485 but I bet the guys get a kick out of seeing her in them. 902 00:41:23,485 --> 00:41:25,175 - Shove 'em, you asshole! 903 00:41:25,175 --> 00:41:28,943 - Oh, by the way, the red panties were Hunta's idea. 904 00:41:28,943 --> 00:41:30,492 We wanted black. 905 00:41:30,492 --> 00:41:31,740 - We're not gonna put those on. 906 00:41:31,740 --> 00:41:34,249 - Yeah, any second now, and you're gonna be eatin' 'em! 907 00:41:34,249 --> 00:41:36,340 (Joan laughing) 908 00:41:36,340 --> 00:41:40,111 (thunderclap booming) - Scagliani! 909 00:41:40,111 --> 00:41:42,399 (wind howling) 910 00:41:42,399 --> 00:41:44,316 Just make sure you win. 911 00:41:46,008 --> 00:41:48,675 (drums rolling) 912 00:41:53,619 --> 00:41:57,786 (upbeat music) (crowd booing) 913 00:42:07,627 --> 00:42:11,127 (Gina and Susie cheering) 914 00:42:12,297 --> 00:42:16,464 (crowd cheering) (Gina and Susie booing) 915 00:42:19,785 --> 00:42:21,703 - [Doris] Ladies and gentlemen, 916 00:42:21,703 --> 00:42:23,642 welcome to Hunta Lanes. 917 00:42:23,642 --> 00:42:27,442 There is your faithful referee, Doris, speaking. 918 00:42:27,442 --> 00:42:29,009 Rule number one. 919 00:42:29,009 --> 00:42:32,035 Any team caught clogging their opponent's bowling ball 920 00:42:32,035 --> 00:42:36,856 with chewing gum will not be eligible for the grand prize. 921 00:42:36,856 --> 00:42:40,279 (crowd cheering) - Take it off! 922 00:42:40,279 --> 00:42:42,925 Come on, take it off, come on! 923 00:42:42,925 --> 00:42:45,446 - And in this court, wearing-- 924 00:42:45,446 --> 00:42:48,648 (crowd gasping and cheering) 925 00:42:48,648 --> 00:42:49,481 Holy shit. 926 00:42:50,774 --> 00:42:53,239 Wearing close to nothin'... 927 00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:55,477 I mean, I was born wearing more than that, 928 00:42:55,477 --> 00:42:56,775 and let me tell you, honey, 929 00:42:56,775 --> 00:42:59,794 if I was you, I wouldn't advertise. 930 00:42:59,794 --> 00:43:03,063 And in the other court, Phi Betas. 931 00:43:03,063 --> 00:43:04,741 Let's come out swinging! 932 00:43:04,741 --> 00:43:06,401 Or bopping. 933 00:43:06,401 --> 00:43:08,810 Or grooving, or whatever you call it. 934 00:43:08,810 --> 00:43:11,512 (bell dinging) 935 00:43:11,512 --> 00:43:14,095 (upbeat music) 936 00:43:20,643 --> 00:43:21,914 ♪ Give it all you got, granny, you're givin' it all ♪ 937 00:43:21,914 --> 00:43:24,877 (Lois laughing) (crowd booing) 938 00:43:24,877 --> 00:43:29,044 ♪ Well, I really live it down when everyone is changing ♪ 939 00:43:30,186 --> 00:43:32,853 (both groaning) 940 00:43:34,229 --> 00:43:38,370 ♪ Give it all all you got, baby give it all to me ♪ 941 00:43:38,370 --> 00:43:42,807 ♪ Give me your lovin' baby, it sweetens up my day ♪ 942 00:43:42,807 --> 00:43:47,385 ♪ I love the little girls, so why do you keep me at bay ♪ 943 00:43:47,385 --> 00:43:50,016 ♪ Well, there ain't no way around each other ♪ 944 00:43:50,016 --> 00:43:51,972 ♪ Best I've ever seen ♪ 945 00:43:51,972 --> 00:43:56,139 ♪ Give it all you got, baby give it all to me ♪ 946 00:43:57,991 --> 00:43:59,407 (crowd booing) 947 00:43:59,407 --> 00:44:02,320 (growling) 948 00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:04,487 (yelling) 949 00:44:05,652 --> 00:44:06,485 - Oh! 950 00:44:08,158 --> 00:44:09,188 Oh! 951 00:44:09,188 --> 00:44:10,021 Ow! 952 00:44:12,326 --> 00:44:13,159 Help! 953 00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:15,485 Help! 954 00:44:25,872 --> 00:44:28,051 ♪ Give me your best, oh, you're givin' it all to me ♪ 955 00:44:28,051 --> 00:44:29,284 (growling) 956 00:44:29,284 --> 00:44:31,331 (fabric ripping) 957 00:44:31,331 --> 00:44:35,164 (crowd gasping and cheering) 958 00:44:39,100 --> 00:44:43,964 ♪ Give it all you got, baby give it all to me ♪ 959 00:44:43,964 --> 00:44:45,124 (whistle blowing) 960 00:44:45,124 --> 00:44:45,957 - Game's over! 961 00:44:45,957 --> 00:44:50,124 (bell dinging) (crowd cheering) 962 00:44:53,596 --> 00:44:56,346 (girls cheering) 963 00:45:04,524 --> 00:45:08,549 - We won! (corks popping) 964 00:45:08,549 --> 00:45:11,555 - Holy shit, I can't believe it, we won! 965 00:45:11,555 --> 00:45:13,419 I can't believe we actually won! 966 00:45:13,419 --> 00:45:17,586 (girls cheering) (uptempo music) 967 00:45:20,856 --> 00:45:23,439 (cork popping) 968 00:45:30,791 --> 00:45:34,810 ♪ Well, I got some ways for a wild alley cat ♪ 969 00:45:34,810 --> 00:45:36,761 ♪ Who creep around you nightly ♪ 970 00:45:36,761 --> 00:45:38,350 ♪ Hoping they're part of a pack ♪ 971 00:45:38,350 --> 00:45:40,539 ♪ You've got to be smart, oh, little girl ♪ 972 00:45:40,539 --> 00:45:42,505 ♪ The boys will tell you that ♪ 973 00:45:42,505 --> 00:45:45,353 ♪ They're on the prowl, tryin' to get ya ♪ 974 00:45:45,353 --> 00:45:48,020 ♪ Baby, be wild ♪ 975 00:45:58,120 --> 00:45:59,601 ♪ The hood he wears is black ♪ 976 00:45:59,601 --> 00:46:03,268 ♪ He's got evil on his mind ♪ 977 00:46:09,809 --> 00:46:12,642 (girls screaming) 978 00:46:17,411 --> 00:46:19,761 - [Chuck] There was still one event to go, basketball. 979 00:46:19,761 --> 00:46:22,663 But for now, spirits were high and it was time to celebrate 980 00:46:22,663 --> 00:46:24,580 the big win of the day. 981 00:46:25,796 --> 00:46:26,834 - Hey, how you doin'? - How you doin'? 982 00:46:26,834 --> 00:46:28,171 I thought you guys were open 24 hours. 983 00:46:28,171 --> 00:46:29,514 Man, I got three starving women over here, 984 00:46:29,514 --> 00:46:30,549 pushin' me down. 985 00:46:30,549 --> 00:46:32,432 - Yeah, used to be, 'til tonight. 986 00:46:32,432 --> 00:46:34,496 My father gave a party tonight for a bunch old geezers 987 00:46:34,496 --> 00:46:35,913 at the Elks Club. 988 00:46:37,193 --> 00:46:39,861 Said he wanted to give 'em a real quiet time tonight. 989 00:46:39,861 --> 00:46:41,528 Take a look at that. 990 00:46:47,924 --> 00:46:50,341 - Hey you guys, look at that. 991 00:46:59,881 --> 00:47:02,298 (rock music) 992 00:47:09,887 --> 00:47:11,264 ♪ One, two ♪ 993 00:47:11,264 --> 00:47:16,264 ♪ One, two, three ♪ 994 00:47:18,835 --> 00:47:19,991 ♪ Tonight ♪ 995 00:47:19,991 --> 00:47:24,623 ♪ There's a party going down on an old blues night ♪ 996 00:47:24,623 --> 00:47:27,479 ♪ Just wait, and you just might ♪ 997 00:47:27,479 --> 00:47:30,716 ♪ Have a real good time ♪ 998 00:47:30,716 --> 00:47:32,089 ♪ Do it right ♪ 999 00:47:32,089 --> 00:47:33,637 ♪ Right down to the spit shine ♪ 1000 00:47:33,637 --> 00:47:36,482 ♪ On my dancin' shoes ♪ 1001 00:47:36,482 --> 00:47:37,840 ♪ Get your warm coat baby ♪ 1002 00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:39,525 ♪ And a whole lot of ♪ 1003 00:47:39,525 --> 00:47:42,667 ♪ Absolutely nothin' to lose ♪ 1004 00:47:42,667 --> 00:47:47,667 ♪ Suburban nights, suburban nights ♪ 1005 00:47:48,724 --> 00:47:53,724 ♪ Suburban nights, suburban nights ♪ 1006 00:47:54,331 --> 00:47:55,434 ♪ Rebel ♪ 1007 00:47:55,434 --> 00:47:59,949 ♪ Picks you up in a brand new automobile ♪ 1008 00:47:59,949 --> 00:48:02,719 ♪ It sparkles like a diamond ♪ 1009 00:48:02,719 --> 00:48:05,948 ♪ When you move, it's got some mag wheels ♪ 1010 00:48:05,948 --> 00:48:08,828 ♪ Now we drive fast, and we won't last ♪ 1011 00:48:08,828 --> 00:48:11,850 ♪ As we go barrelin' down our road ♪ 1012 00:48:11,850 --> 00:48:16,850 ♪ Somehow we feel we always have to shift into overload ♪ 1013 00:48:18,303 --> 00:48:23,303 ♪ Suburban nights, suburban nights ♪ 1014 00:48:23,947 --> 00:48:28,947 ♪ Suburban nights, suburban nights ♪ 1015 00:48:29,875 --> 00:48:34,875 ♪ Suburban nights, suburban nights ♪ 1016 00:48:35,869 --> 00:48:40,869 ♪ Suburban nights, suburban nights ♪ 1017 00:48:41,106 --> 00:48:44,216 ♪ We walk into that party like we're wearin' a crown ♪ 1018 00:48:44,216 --> 00:48:47,605 ♪ We know our business and we nail it on down ♪ 1019 00:48:47,605 --> 00:48:50,202 ♪ We know what our eyes can do ♪ 1020 00:48:50,202 --> 00:48:53,138 ♪ And that's exactly what we're livin' to do ♪ 1021 00:48:53,138 --> 00:48:54,251 ♪ Do do do ♪ 1022 00:48:54,251 --> 00:48:56,443 ♪ Do do do do do do do do ♪ 1023 00:48:56,443 --> 00:48:59,379 ♪ Do do do do do do do do ♪ 1024 00:48:59,379 --> 00:49:00,725 ♪ Do do do ♪ 1025 00:49:00,725 --> 00:49:02,269 ♪ Do do do ♪ 1026 00:49:02,269 --> 00:49:05,366 ♪ Do do do do do do do do ♪ 1027 00:49:05,366 --> 00:49:08,187 ♪ Do do do do do do do do ♪ 1028 00:49:08,187 --> 00:49:11,082 ♪ Do do do do do do do do ♪ 1029 00:49:11,082 --> 00:49:12,502 ♪ Do do do ♪ 1030 00:49:12,502 --> 00:49:13,932 ♪ Do do do ♪ 1031 00:49:13,932 --> 00:49:16,938 ♪ Do do do do do do do do ♪ 1032 00:49:16,938 --> 00:49:19,870 ♪ Do do do do do do do do ♪ 1033 00:49:19,870 --> 00:49:22,777 ♪ Do do do do do do do do ♪ 1034 00:49:22,777 --> 00:49:24,158 ♪ Do do do ♪ 1035 00:49:24,158 --> 00:49:25,716 ♪ Do do do ♪ 1036 00:49:25,716 --> 00:49:28,721 ♪ Do do do do do do do do ♪ 1037 00:49:28,721 --> 00:49:31,696 ♪ Do do do do do do do do ♪ 1038 00:49:31,696 --> 00:49:34,564 ♪ Do do do do do do do do ♪ 1039 00:49:34,564 --> 00:49:35,930 ♪ Do do do ♪ 1040 00:49:35,930 --> 00:49:37,450 ♪ Do do do ♪ 1041 00:49:37,450 --> 00:49:40,381 ♪ Do do do do do do do do ♪ 1042 00:49:40,381 --> 00:49:43,284 ♪ Do do do do do do do do ♪ 1043 00:49:43,284 --> 00:49:46,324 ♪ Do do do do do do do do ♪ 1044 00:49:46,324 --> 00:49:47,733 ♪ Do do do ♪ 1045 00:49:47,733 --> 00:49:49,235 ♪ Do do do ♪ 1046 00:49:49,235 --> 00:49:52,200 ♪ Do do do do do do do do ♪ 1047 00:49:52,200 --> 00:49:55,248 ♪ Do do do do do do do do ♪ 1048 00:49:55,248 --> 00:49:58,094 ♪ Do do do do do do do do ♪ 1049 00:49:58,094 --> 00:49:59,583 ♪ Do do do ♪ 1050 00:49:59,583 --> 00:50:01,064 ♪ Do do do ♪ 1051 00:50:01,064 --> 00:50:03,968 ♪ Do do do do do do do do ♪ 1052 00:50:03,968 --> 00:50:06,554 ♪ I said ooh ♪ 1053 00:50:06,554 --> 00:50:09,573 ♪ We were downright out of our minds ♪ 1054 00:50:09,573 --> 00:50:12,123 ♪ Frazzled round the edges ♪ 1055 00:50:12,123 --> 00:50:15,731 ♪ But the edge is just another line ♪ 1056 00:50:15,731 --> 00:50:18,417 ♪ Lookin' back, I can't believe ♪ 1057 00:50:18,417 --> 00:50:21,360 ♪ That we made it this far ♪ 1058 00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:24,319 ♪ Mmm, people don't you understand that there we were ♪ 1059 00:50:24,319 --> 00:50:27,166 ♪ And now here we are ♪ 1060 00:50:27,166 --> 00:50:32,166 ♪ Now, suburban nights, suburban nights ♪ 1061 00:50:33,904 --> 00:50:36,821 ♪ Suburban nights, suburban nights ♪ 1062 00:50:36,821 --> 00:50:38,936 ♪ My mama never knew, my mama never knew ♪ 1063 00:50:38,936 --> 00:50:43,936 ♪ Oh knew suburban nights, suburban nights ♪ 1064 00:50:45,659 --> 00:50:49,903 ♪ Suburban nights, suburban nights ♪ 1065 00:50:49,903 --> 00:50:51,674 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1066 00:50:51,674 --> 00:50:56,674 ♪ Suburban nights, suburban nights ♪ 1067 00:50:57,667 --> 00:51:02,421 ♪ Suburban nights, suburban ♪ 1068 00:51:02,421 --> 00:51:05,029 ♪ Nights ♪ 1069 00:51:05,029 --> 00:51:07,549 - [Chuck] Meanwhile, after taking my advice on hypnotism 1070 00:51:07,549 --> 00:51:10,477 and picking up girls, madman Vinnie was rapidly becoming 1071 00:51:10,477 --> 00:51:12,394 a supermarket Svengali. 1072 00:51:15,711 --> 00:51:17,598 - Let's see, yes sir. 1073 00:51:17,598 --> 00:51:19,903 I think I got something here. 1074 00:51:19,903 --> 00:51:24,148 Let's see, how to pick up in a supermarket. 1075 00:51:24,148 --> 00:51:25,565 Produce, produce. 1076 00:51:26,590 --> 00:51:28,007 Here it is, yeah. 1077 00:51:29,028 --> 00:51:29,861 Mmhmm. 1078 00:51:30,922 --> 00:51:32,589 Look cool, got that. 1079 00:51:33,825 --> 00:51:34,690 Handsome. 1080 00:51:34,690 --> 00:51:38,183 - [Manager] Attention shoppers, this is the manager. 1081 00:51:38,183 --> 00:51:41,372 Would the owner of the blue Datsun please remove the vehicle 1082 00:51:41,372 --> 00:51:43,562 from the receiving lane? 1083 00:51:43,562 --> 00:51:44,979 - You're dead, lady. 1084 00:51:44,979 --> 00:51:48,001 - [Manager] That license plate number, U, D as in dumb, 1085 00:51:48,001 --> 00:51:50,572 P as in putz, four, oh, nine. 1086 00:51:50,572 --> 00:51:53,006 The rear end is protruding. 1087 00:51:53,006 --> 00:51:53,839 Thank you. 1088 00:51:55,252 --> 00:51:57,335 - So uh, come here often? 1089 00:52:00,157 --> 00:52:02,070 What's your sign? 1090 00:52:02,070 --> 00:52:02,903 Yield? 1091 00:52:02,903 --> 00:52:05,845 (chuckles) just a little joke, kind of break the ice. 1092 00:52:05,845 --> 00:52:06,845 - Drop dead. 1093 00:52:11,239 --> 00:52:13,888 - I wish you hadn't said that, but look, 1094 00:52:13,888 --> 00:52:16,693 how are you supposed to know I only got... 1095 00:52:16,693 --> 00:52:18,026 48 days to live? 1096 00:52:19,517 --> 00:52:20,594 - What? 1097 00:52:20,594 --> 00:52:23,170 You only have 48 days to live? 1098 00:52:23,170 --> 00:52:26,073 - Well, 51, countin' legal holidays. 1099 00:52:26,073 --> 00:52:28,289 So look, it's been nice knowing ya. 1100 00:52:28,289 --> 00:52:30,093 And uh, I'm in the book, huh? 1101 00:52:30,093 --> 00:52:32,037 - You know, you look perfectly healthy. 1102 00:52:32,037 --> 00:52:33,088 - Nah. 1103 00:52:33,088 --> 00:52:34,514 Not when you look close, I don't. 1104 00:52:34,514 --> 00:52:36,016 You see in my eyes, I got these kind of 1105 00:52:36,016 --> 00:52:37,331 tiny little squiggles, you know? 1106 00:52:37,331 --> 00:52:39,825 Kind of like designer labels, you know what I mean? 1107 00:52:39,825 --> 00:52:41,414 - I don't see anything like that. 1108 00:52:41,414 --> 00:52:43,787 - You can't see it from there, you gotta come in a little. 1109 00:52:43,787 --> 00:52:44,813 Yeah, that's it, you see? 1110 00:52:44,813 --> 00:52:45,674 Right, right in there. 1111 00:52:45,674 --> 00:52:47,071 Look deep into my eyes. 1112 00:52:47,071 --> 00:52:47,919 See what I mean? 1113 00:52:47,919 --> 00:52:49,186 Real deep. 1114 00:52:49,186 --> 00:52:50,860 That's it yeah. - Like this? 1115 00:52:50,860 --> 00:52:52,565 - Yeah, yeah. 1116 00:52:52,565 --> 00:52:53,398 That's it. 1117 00:52:53,398 --> 00:52:56,226 You're feeling very relaxed now. 1118 00:52:56,226 --> 00:52:58,084 Very relaxed. 1119 00:52:58,084 --> 00:52:59,417 Very shit-faced. 1120 00:53:00,698 --> 00:53:03,698 (upbeat band music) 1121 00:53:05,254 --> 00:53:07,165 (crowd cheering) 1122 00:53:07,165 --> 00:53:08,569 - We got this one! 1123 00:53:08,569 --> 00:53:09,973 Let's go baby, come on! 1124 00:53:09,973 --> 00:53:12,121 - [Chuck] Well, it was high noon at the Hooter funny farm. 1125 00:53:12,121 --> 00:53:14,779 The final event, basketball, was a sell out. 1126 00:53:14,779 --> 00:53:16,762 And since our very own Joanie was an experienced 1127 00:53:16,762 --> 00:53:19,787 high school ball player, no need for us to worry, right? 1128 00:53:19,787 --> 00:53:21,287 Wrong, dead wrong. 1129 00:53:23,163 --> 00:53:24,899 - Listen, you fat face. 1130 00:53:24,899 --> 00:53:28,542 I told you no spectators at this game! 1131 00:53:28,542 --> 00:53:30,529 - Well, I guess Chuckie did get a little carried away 1132 00:53:30,529 --> 00:53:31,700 with the tickets. 1133 00:53:31,700 --> 00:53:34,732 So, are you looking forward to playing basketball 1134 00:53:34,732 --> 00:53:37,258 in your birthday suits, girls? 1135 00:53:37,258 --> 00:53:38,091 - [Fern] What? 1136 00:53:38,091 --> 00:53:39,385 - The name of the game, baby; 1137 00:53:39,385 --> 00:53:40,817 Strip basketball. 1138 00:53:40,817 --> 00:53:41,786 Very simple. 1139 00:53:41,786 --> 00:53:43,763 You make a basket, we take something off. 1140 00:53:43,763 --> 00:53:46,086 We make a basket, you take something off. 1141 00:53:46,086 --> 00:53:47,196 - You're crazy. 1142 00:53:47,196 --> 00:53:48,946 Listen, Hymanstein... 1143 00:53:50,115 --> 00:53:51,628 You're not getting us involved in this. 1144 00:53:51,628 --> 00:53:53,624 This is yours and Scagliani's fight. 1145 00:53:53,624 --> 00:53:56,846 - Listen, everything's been taken care of. 1146 00:53:56,846 --> 00:54:00,271 Their only player who can even hold a basketball 1147 00:54:00,271 --> 00:54:03,457 won't be able to make it to the game today. 1148 00:54:03,457 --> 00:54:07,624 (harpsichord music) - I'll be with you guys. 1149 00:54:12,782 --> 00:54:14,198 - Now! - Hey! 1150 00:54:14,198 --> 00:54:15,187 (Joan yelling) 1151 00:54:15,187 --> 00:54:16,020 What are you doing? 1152 00:54:16,020 --> 00:54:17,089 Oh! 1153 00:54:17,089 --> 00:54:18,068 What the, stop it! 1154 00:54:18,068 --> 00:54:18,901 Ow! 1155 00:54:19,980 --> 00:54:21,285 Hey! 1156 00:54:21,285 --> 00:54:22,118 Hey! 1157 00:54:22,118 --> 00:54:24,874 - Besides, if we lose, that's the end of Delta Phi. 1158 00:54:24,874 --> 00:54:27,412 And that means every one of us. 1159 00:54:27,412 --> 00:54:29,880 - You better be right, Hymanstein. 1160 00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:30,874 - I'm always right. 1161 00:54:30,874 --> 00:54:33,491 (chuckling) 1162 00:54:33,491 --> 00:54:36,241 (crowd cheering) 1163 00:54:38,055 --> 00:54:40,038 - Okay, girls. 1164 00:54:40,038 --> 00:54:42,112 You know the rules. 1165 00:54:42,112 --> 00:54:43,362 No dirty stuff. 1166 00:54:45,375 --> 00:54:47,174 No pullin' the face mask. 1167 00:54:47,174 --> 00:54:49,503 No hittin' below the belt. 1168 00:54:49,503 --> 00:54:52,091 And the most important rule; 1169 00:54:52,091 --> 00:54:53,758 No radio play, okay? 1170 00:54:57,108 --> 00:54:58,219 Okay. 1171 00:54:58,219 --> 00:55:01,499 ("One Way or Another" by Blondie) 1172 00:55:01,499 --> 00:55:02,332 Hike! 1173 00:55:02,332 --> 00:55:06,149 ♪ One way or another, I'm gonna find ya ♪ 1174 00:55:06,149 --> 00:55:08,103 ♪ I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya ♪ 1175 00:55:08,103 --> 00:55:12,137 ♪ One way or another, I'm gonna win ya ♪ 1176 00:55:12,137 --> 00:55:14,017 ♪ I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya ♪ 1177 00:55:14,017 --> 00:55:16,081 ♪ One way or another ♪ 1178 00:55:16,081 --> 00:55:16,914 - All right, all right, up. 1179 00:55:16,914 --> 00:55:18,530 All right, all right, you got it now. 1180 00:55:18,530 --> 00:55:20,421 You got it, it's easy, you got it, it's an open shot. 1181 00:55:20,421 --> 00:55:24,065 ♪ One day maybe next week, I'm gonna meet ya ♪ 1182 00:55:24,065 --> 00:55:25,855 ♪ I'm gonna meet ya, I'll meet ya ♪ 1183 00:55:25,855 --> 00:55:30,855 ♪ I will drive past your house ♪ 1184 00:55:31,659 --> 00:55:36,659 ♪ And if the lights are all down ♪ 1185 00:55:37,396 --> 00:55:40,107 ♪ I'll see who's around ♪ 1186 00:55:40,107 --> 00:55:41,224 - Come on, take it down, take it all the down! 1187 00:55:41,224 --> 00:55:43,800 Or all the way, all the way back! 1188 00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:47,529 ♪ One way or another, I'm gonna find ya ♪ 1189 00:55:47,529 --> 00:55:48,362 - Up! - Up! 1190 00:55:48,362 --> 00:55:49,195 - Up! - Up! 1191 00:55:49,195 --> 00:55:50,028 - Up, this is up! - You got it! 1192 00:55:50,028 --> 00:55:51,414 - This is down, this is up! - I'm the coach, listen to me! 1193 00:55:51,414 --> 00:55:52,355 Up! 1194 00:55:52,355 --> 00:55:54,006 ♪ I'm gonna win ya ♪ 1195 00:55:54,006 --> 00:55:55,802 ♪ I'll get ya, I'll get ya ♪ 1196 00:55:55,802 --> 00:55:57,449 ♪ One way or another ♪ 1197 00:55:57,449 --> 00:55:59,817 - Stay with her, stay with her, all right! 1198 00:55:59,817 --> 00:56:01,663 ♪ I'm gonna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya ♪ 1199 00:56:01,663 --> 00:56:05,859 ♪ One day maybe next week, I'm gonna meet ya ♪ 1200 00:56:05,859 --> 00:56:07,597 ♪ I'll meet ya, ah ♪ 1201 00:56:07,597 --> 00:56:12,597 ♪ And if the lights are all out ♪ 1202 00:56:13,227 --> 00:56:18,227 ♪ I'll follow your bus downtown ♪ 1203 00:56:19,082 --> 00:56:21,354 ♪ See who's hangin' out ♪ 1204 00:56:21,354 --> 00:56:22,578 (laughing) 1205 00:56:22,578 --> 00:56:23,745 - Take it off! 1206 00:56:28,727 --> 00:56:30,164 - Where the hell is Joan? 1207 00:56:30,164 --> 00:56:31,385 - Maybe she quit. 1208 00:56:31,385 --> 00:56:33,275 - Maybe I'll kill her! 1209 00:56:33,275 --> 00:56:35,692 (rock music) 1210 00:56:39,219 --> 00:56:40,052 - Midge! 1211 00:56:40,052 --> 00:56:43,124 (crowd cheering) 1212 00:56:43,124 --> 00:56:44,511 Warwick! 1213 00:56:44,511 --> 00:56:45,426 - Did you see what you did? 1214 00:56:45,426 --> 00:56:46,430 She hit it, you know what she did? 1215 00:56:46,430 --> 00:56:48,098 She escaped with-- - She did it! 1216 00:56:48,098 --> 00:56:48,931 - Shit! 1217 00:56:50,991 --> 00:56:51,836 (buzzer ringing) 1218 00:56:51,836 --> 00:56:55,402 ♪ One way or another, I'm gonna lose ya ♪ 1219 00:56:55,402 --> 00:56:57,257 ♪ I'm gonna give you the slip ♪ 1220 00:56:57,257 --> 00:56:58,916 ♪ A slip of the hip or another ♪ 1221 00:56:58,916 --> 00:57:00,730 - I want you to go out there, and I want you to win! 1222 00:57:00,730 --> 00:57:02,406 Give me your hands, girls. 1223 00:57:02,406 --> 00:57:03,531 What are we gonna do? 1224 00:57:03,531 --> 00:57:04,364 - [Girls] Kill! 1225 00:57:04,364 --> 00:57:05,197 - What are you gonna do? 1226 00:57:05,197 --> 00:57:06,030 - [Girls] Kill! 1227 00:57:06,030 --> 00:57:06,863 - What are you gonna do? 1228 00:57:06,863 --> 00:57:07,696 - [Girls!] Kill! 1229 00:57:07,696 --> 00:57:08,529 - I want you to go out there and? 1230 00:57:08,529 --> 00:57:09,362 - [Girls] Kill! 1231 00:57:09,362 --> 00:57:10,849 - Go on, go on, get out there. 1232 00:57:10,849 --> 00:57:11,796 All right, Bernice. 1233 00:57:11,796 --> 00:57:13,047 ♪ I'm gonna lose ya ♪ 1234 00:57:13,047 --> 00:57:15,080 ♪ I'm gonna give you the slip ♪ 1235 00:57:15,080 --> 00:57:18,186 - But she's takin' it off again! 1236 00:57:18,186 --> 00:57:20,675 (Fern laughing) 1237 00:57:20,675 --> 00:57:23,808 ♪ I'll walk down the mall, stand over by the wall ♪ 1238 00:57:23,808 --> 00:57:26,708 ♪ Where I can see it all, find out who ya call ♪ 1239 00:57:26,708 --> 00:57:29,617 ♪ Lead you to the supermarket checkout ♪ 1240 00:57:29,617 --> 00:57:32,824 ♪ Some specials and rat food ♪ 1241 00:57:32,824 --> 00:57:33,923 ♪ One way or another ♪ 1242 00:57:33,923 --> 00:57:36,590 - [Warwick] Substitution, Susie! 1243 00:57:38,525 --> 00:57:41,865 ♪ One way or another, I'm gonna get ya ♪ 1244 00:57:41,865 --> 00:57:44,376 ♪ I'll get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya ♪ 1245 00:57:44,376 --> 00:57:47,377 ♪ One way or another ♪ 1246 00:57:47,377 --> 00:57:48,765 - Where the hell is Joan? 1247 00:57:48,765 --> 00:57:50,479 - I don't know, Susan, I don't know. 1248 00:57:50,479 --> 00:57:53,229 (crowd cheering) 1249 00:57:56,643 --> 00:57:59,511 Hey Susan, look over there. 1250 00:57:59,511 --> 00:58:01,052 Smoke. 1251 00:58:01,052 --> 00:58:03,302 Three small puffs of smoke. 1252 00:58:05,033 --> 00:58:07,116 Two large puffs of smoke. 1253 00:58:08,039 --> 00:58:08,872 Stop. 1254 00:58:12,455 --> 00:58:16,372 Three short puffs of smoke in rapid succession. 1255 00:58:19,603 --> 00:58:21,679 What do you suppose that means? 1256 00:58:21,679 --> 00:58:24,168 - "Trapped in locker room", why? 1257 00:58:24,168 --> 00:58:25,239 - I gotta go. 1258 00:58:25,239 --> 00:58:27,536 - Warwick, can't you wait 'til after the game? 1259 00:58:27,536 --> 00:58:28,953 - Save me a seat! 1260 00:58:31,161 --> 00:58:32,312 Joan, are you in there? 1261 00:58:32,312 --> 00:58:33,623 - [Joan] Warwick, is that you? 1262 00:58:33,623 --> 00:58:34,528 - Yeah, it's me! 1263 00:58:34,528 --> 00:58:36,445 Get away from the door! 1264 00:58:39,218 --> 00:58:41,885 (door breaking) 1265 00:58:43,816 --> 00:58:46,447 - Oh Warwick, thank God you came! 1266 00:58:46,447 --> 00:58:47,963 - First time a girl ever said that to me 1267 00:58:47,963 --> 00:58:50,018 and I haven't got a single witness. 1268 00:58:50,018 --> 00:58:53,189 (crowd cheering) 1269 00:58:53,189 --> 00:58:57,356 ("When Love Attacks" by Rick Derringer and Bonnie Tyler) 1270 00:59:01,109 --> 00:59:02,692 - Hey, it's Joanie! 1271 00:59:06,537 --> 00:59:08,693 - Oh, all right, Joan! 1272 00:59:08,693 --> 00:59:11,023 (crowd cheering) 1273 00:59:11,023 --> 00:59:14,022 ♪ He's bitter ♪ 1274 00:59:14,022 --> 00:59:17,272 ♪ So blue ♪ 1275 00:59:17,272 --> 00:59:20,636 ♪ Cold armor ♪ 1276 00:59:20,636 --> 00:59:23,641 ♪ See through ♪ 1277 00:59:23,641 --> 00:59:26,683 ♪ Heavy heart ♪ 1278 00:59:26,683 --> 00:59:30,246 ♪ Heavy head ♪ 1279 00:59:30,246 --> 00:59:31,379 ♪ Walking tall ♪ 1280 00:59:31,379 --> 00:59:32,344 (whistle blowing) 1281 00:59:32,344 --> 00:59:33,443 (laughing) 1282 00:59:33,443 --> 00:59:35,493 ♪ Walking dead ♪ 1283 00:59:35,493 --> 00:59:37,604 - [Susie] Tie score! 1284 00:59:37,604 --> 00:59:39,987 ♪ Then love attacks ♪ 1285 00:59:39,987 --> 00:59:42,932 ♪ And you can try to hide ♪ 1286 00:59:42,932 --> 00:59:46,747 ♪ But in the end there's nowhere ♪ 1287 00:59:46,747 --> 00:59:49,766 ♪ It can get inside ♪ 1288 00:59:49,766 --> 00:59:53,563 ♪ A triple-locked apartment ♪ 1289 00:59:53,563 --> 00:59:56,910 ♪ A secret compartment ♪ 1290 00:59:56,910 --> 01:00:00,072 ♪ Can't conceal the treasure ♪ 1291 01:00:00,072 --> 01:00:05,072 ♪ When love comes to take your heart away ♪ 1292 01:00:07,513 --> 01:00:10,212 ♪ She's fragile ♪ 1293 01:00:10,212 --> 01:00:11,045 - Shoot! 1294 01:00:13,512 --> 01:00:16,095 ♪ Spanish lace ♪ 1295 01:00:17,864 --> 01:00:18,697 - Shoot! 1296 01:00:20,368 --> 01:00:23,295 ♪ There's a rainbow ♪ 1297 01:00:23,295 --> 01:00:26,651 ♪ And there's a stream ♪ 1298 01:00:26,651 --> 01:00:30,282 ♪ A total eclipse ♪ 1299 01:00:30,282 --> 01:00:34,232 ♪ Of a dream ♪ 1300 01:00:34,232 --> 01:00:36,373 ♪ Then love attacks ♪ 1301 01:00:36,373 --> 01:00:39,551 ♪ And you can try to hide ♪ 1302 01:00:39,551 --> 01:00:43,522 ♪ But in the end there's nowhere ♪ 1303 01:00:43,522 --> 01:00:46,368 ♪ It can get inside ♪ 1304 01:00:46,368 --> 01:00:50,153 ♪ A triple-locked apartment ♪ 1305 01:00:50,153 --> 01:00:53,559 ♪ A secret compartment ♪ 1306 01:00:53,559 --> 01:00:56,877 ♪ Can't conceal the treasure ♪ 1307 01:00:56,877 --> 01:01:00,732 ♪ When love comes to take your heart away ♪ 1308 01:01:00,732 --> 01:01:03,399 (air deflating) 1309 01:01:05,039 --> 01:01:07,866 (crowd cheering) 1310 01:01:07,866 --> 01:01:10,783 (Warwick laughing) 1311 01:01:14,147 --> 01:01:16,333 - [Chuck] Call it fate, providence, 1312 01:01:16,333 --> 01:01:19,408 or just my lousy luck, whatever you want to call it. 1313 01:01:19,408 --> 01:01:24,010 I did not know how much I would regret the following day. 1314 01:01:24,010 --> 01:01:26,938 - You do not know how much you will regret 1315 01:01:26,938 --> 01:01:28,521 this meeting today. 1316 01:01:29,491 --> 01:01:33,408 I have tried to understand these recent events. 1317 01:01:35,784 --> 01:01:38,891 To reason them away as an aberration 1318 01:01:38,891 --> 01:01:41,224 of youthful energy, perhaps. 1319 01:01:42,910 --> 01:01:46,660 Absurdities conceived in an impetuous moment. 1320 01:01:47,761 --> 01:01:49,970 - Christ's sakes, will you just get to the point? 1321 01:01:49,970 --> 01:01:52,844 - Yes, the point, Napolioni. 1322 01:01:52,844 --> 01:01:55,572 The point is, you're out. 1323 01:01:55,572 --> 01:01:56,489 All of you. 1324 01:01:57,880 --> 01:02:02,731 This college will no longer tolerate your insolence, 1325 01:02:02,731 --> 01:02:03,981 your vulgarity, 1326 01:02:05,196 --> 01:02:07,029 your moral degeneracy, 1327 01:02:08,526 --> 01:02:09,359 your kind. 1328 01:02:10,597 --> 01:02:11,820 - Now, wait a minute. 1329 01:02:11,820 --> 01:02:14,103 Okay, you can't just kick the girls out like that. 1330 01:02:14,103 --> 01:02:15,031 - Oh really? 1331 01:02:15,031 --> 01:02:18,043 What makes you think you're excluded? 1332 01:02:18,043 --> 01:02:19,316 - You're shittin' me? 1333 01:02:19,316 --> 01:02:22,883 - But Chuck's got his full scholarship. 1334 01:02:22,883 --> 01:02:23,716 - Jesus. 1335 01:02:24,761 --> 01:02:27,428 And that's unfair, even for you. 1336 01:02:29,679 --> 01:02:32,429 - It is my ambition to be unfair. 1337 01:02:36,292 --> 01:02:39,734 (dramatic music) 1338 01:02:39,734 --> 01:02:41,485 - [Chuck] Well, I gave it a shot. 1339 01:02:41,485 --> 01:02:44,500 So before finding the nearest tree to hang myself from, 1340 01:02:44,500 --> 01:02:46,771 I decided to say goodbye to ol' Vinnie. 1341 01:02:46,771 --> 01:02:48,941 Even if I hadn't done myself or the girls any good, 1342 01:02:48,941 --> 01:02:51,518 at least I'd managed to do him some. 1343 01:02:51,518 --> 01:02:52,731 - You know, sometimes I worry, 1344 01:02:52,731 --> 01:02:53,778 I think maybe you only like me 1345 01:02:53,778 --> 01:02:56,551 because of my tremendous power. 1346 01:02:56,551 --> 01:02:59,238 I tell you something, Madeline... 1347 01:02:59,238 --> 01:03:01,504 People like you make this a great country, you know? 1348 01:03:01,504 --> 01:03:02,337 I... 1349 01:03:02,337 --> 01:03:04,587 (knocking) 1350 01:03:06,115 --> 01:03:07,615 Talk to you later. 1351 01:03:09,439 --> 01:03:10,356 Uh, coming. 1352 01:03:12,685 --> 01:03:13,685 Uh, come in. 1353 01:03:15,800 --> 01:03:17,243 Hey, Chuckie, baby. 1354 01:03:17,243 --> 01:03:18,272 How you doin'? 1355 01:03:18,272 --> 01:03:21,292 Hey Chuck, grab a helmet, huh? 1356 01:03:21,292 --> 01:03:23,209 Okay, girls, formation. 1357 01:03:25,225 --> 01:03:26,743 Good morning, ladies. 1358 01:03:26,743 --> 01:03:28,029 Chuck, I got somethin' a little special, 1359 01:03:28,029 --> 01:03:29,933 been working this for a long time. 1360 01:03:29,933 --> 01:03:31,379 Today's the big game. 1361 01:03:31,379 --> 01:03:32,212 Come on out here. 1362 01:03:32,212 --> 01:03:34,884 We got something in a large, in case you're interested in, 1363 01:03:34,884 --> 01:03:37,779 from the University of pec, pec, pec, 1364 01:03:37,779 --> 01:03:39,487 work on those muscles. 1365 01:03:39,487 --> 01:03:41,273 Hey Chuck, I got good news for you. 1366 01:03:41,273 --> 01:03:42,411 Good news. 1367 01:03:42,411 --> 01:03:43,994 There's more! 1368 01:03:43,994 --> 01:03:46,900 (Vinnie laughing) 1369 01:03:46,900 --> 01:03:49,335 Chuck, you're gonna fly for this one. 1370 01:03:49,335 --> 01:03:51,027 Come on out here, you sweet, yeah. 1371 01:03:51,027 --> 01:03:52,533 Yes, mmm, mmm, mmm. 1372 01:03:52,533 --> 01:03:53,802 Ooh, you animal. 1373 01:03:53,802 --> 01:03:57,129 Hey Chuck, you know the fine line between pleasure and pain? 1374 01:03:57,129 --> 01:03:58,903 Watch your skinny elbows. 1375 01:03:58,903 --> 01:04:00,595 Yes you are, tuna fish face. 1376 01:04:00,595 --> 01:04:01,457 Com here, you. 1377 01:04:01,457 --> 01:04:02,921 Hey Chuck, baby. 1378 01:04:02,921 --> 01:04:06,496 Chuck, uh, see if you can pick me out in this crowd. 1379 01:04:06,496 --> 01:04:07,329 (Vinnie growling) 1380 01:04:07,329 --> 01:04:09,251 Hey, what about the captain of the football team? 1381 01:04:09,251 --> 01:04:10,935 What do you say we bring her out, huh girls? 1382 01:04:10,935 --> 01:04:11,768 What do you say? 1383 01:04:11,768 --> 01:04:12,661 Numero uno. 1384 01:04:12,661 --> 01:04:16,011 Stay right there, I'll be back, excuse me. 1385 01:04:16,011 --> 01:04:17,445 (Vinnie chuckling) 1386 01:04:17,445 --> 01:04:21,643 From Scandinavia, frozen and flown here immediately, 1387 01:04:21,643 --> 01:04:23,707 Pia of the North, huh? 1388 01:04:23,707 --> 01:04:24,540 God bless. 1389 01:04:24,540 --> 01:04:26,953 Hey Chuckie, I know what this must look like to you, 1390 01:04:26,953 --> 01:04:28,013 I mean, all these half-naked, 1391 01:04:28,013 --> 01:04:31,343 hypnotized Hooter College freshmen, but, you know-- 1392 01:04:31,343 --> 01:04:33,712 - Vinnie, I gotta talk to you. 1393 01:04:33,712 --> 01:04:35,129 - Now? 1394 01:04:35,129 --> 01:04:37,383 Hey Chuck, forget about it, huh? 1395 01:04:37,383 --> 01:04:40,681 - Come on, Mean Joe, before they put you away for life. 1396 01:04:40,681 --> 01:04:42,514 I want to talk to you. 1397 01:04:43,588 --> 01:04:46,110 - All right, uh, girls, uh... 1398 01:04:46,110 --> 01:04:46,943 Time out, huh? 1399 01:04:46,943 --> 01:04:49,860 (Vinnie chuckling) 1400 01:04:52,590 --> 01:04:54,524 - I got kicked out of college. 1401 01:04:54,524 --> 01:04:56,348 I mean, as a matter of fact, so have the girls, 1402 01:04:56,348 --> 01:04:58,192 but I lost a full scholarship, man. 1403 01:04:58,192 --> 01:04:59,945 Two years down the drain. 1404 01:04:59,945 --> 01:05:02,061 - Hey Chuckie, let me tell you a little story. 1405 01:05:02,061 --> 01:05:03,702 I had a friend, Joe Bagadonuts-- 1406 01:05:03,702 --> 01:05:06,946 - Vinnie, spare me the story, okay? 1407 01:05:06,946 --> 01:05:09,327 - Don't let it get you down. 1408 01:05:09,327 --> 01:05:10,799 - Down? 1409 01:05:10,799 --> 01:05:12,380 I've hit bottom, man. 1410 01:05:12,380 --> 01:05:13,734 I mean, first of all, I get the band booked 1411 01:05:13,734 --> 01:05:15,580 in one of the all-time shit bars, 1412 01:05:15,580 --> 01:05:17,517 and then somehow we get involved in this fight 1413 01:05:17,517 --> 01:05:19,412 between the Dean and the stupid sororities, 1414 01:05:19,412 --> 01:05:21,872 and next thing I know, I'm kicked out of school. 1415 01:05:21,872 --> 01:05:25,920 - You don't need school to be a rock and roll manager. 1416 01:05:25,920 --> 01:05:27,502 - Yeah, some manager, right? 1417 01:05:27,502 --> 01:05:29,529 I can't even find a bar for my band to play. 1418 01:05:29,529 --> 01:05:32,125 - Yeah, it's pretty tough, huh? 1419 01:05:32,125 --> 01:05:33,830 Maybe I could help you out. 1420 01:05:33,830 --> 01:05:34,747 Maybe uh... 1421 01:05:35,588 --> 01:05:38,245 Maybe Louie and Tony could, you know? 1422 01:05:38,245 --> 01:05:41,106 - Louie and Tony are not gonna do me any favors. 1423 01:05:41,106 --> 01:05:44,476 - Hey Chuck, you want to get your band booked or what? 1424 01:05:44,476 --> 01:05:45,398 Hmm? 1425 01:05:45,398 --> 01:05:46,478 Louie. 1426 01:05:46,478 --> 01:05:47,597 Tony. 1427 01:05:47,597 --> 01:05:48,680 Come in here. 1428 01:05:52,713 --> 01:05:57,255 - Hey Vinnie, there's some dame pointin' somethin' at ya. 1429 01:05:57,255 --> 01:05:59,730 - [Vinnie] Listen uh, how'd you like to help Chuck's band 1430 01:05:59,730 --> 01:06:00,659 get a club? 1431 01:06:00,659 --> 01:06:01,825 A genius band. 1432 01:06:01,825 --> 01:06:03,158 - Consider this. 1433 01:06:05,233 --> 01:06:06,937 We knows a guy, 1434 01:06:06,937 --> 01:06:09,020 who knows a guy, 1435 01:06:09,020 --> 01:06:12,853 who owns The Palace, the biggest club in town. 1436 01:06:14,360 --> 01:06:18,584 And when we take a job, we never slip up. 1437 01:06:18,584 --> 01:06:19,605 - Okay, it's settled then. 1438 01:06:19,605 --> 01:06:22,803 You guys go get the job done, huh? 1439 01:06:22,803 --> 01:06:24,385 Hey Chuckie, you see that, man? 1440 01:06:24,385 --> 01:06:25,607 Lighten up, huh? 1441 01:06:25,607 --> 01:06:29,104 Lighten up and get your mind off all this damn stuff. 1442 01:06:29,104 --> 01:06:31,806 Look, there's nothing like a little sweet revenge 1443 01:06:31,806 --> 01:06:34,418 to get the old blood flowing again, huh? 1444 01:06:34,418 --> 01:06:38,515 Hey Chuck, I don't know this Dean Hunta. 1445 01:06:38,515 --> 01:06:40,255 But let me tell you something. 1446 01:06:40,255 --> 01:06:44,127 She's about to mess with Vinnie Mamabasta. 1447 01:06:44,127 --> 01:06:47,523 ("Ride of the Valkyries" by Richard Wagner) 1448 01:06:47,523 --> 01:06:48,861 - [Karl] Hey, Hunta! 1449 01:06:48,861 --> 01:06:50,395 - This had better be important, Karl. 1450 01:06:50,395 --> 01:06:52,038 I told you I don't want to be disturbed. 1451 01:06:52,038 --> 01:06:54,361 - [Karl] I know you don't want to be disturbed, 1452 01:06:54,361 --> 01:06:56,274 but let's face it, you are! 1453 01:06:56,274 --> 01:06:59,024 (Karl laughing) 1454 01:06:59,024 --> 01:07:00,694 - What the hell do you want? 1455 01:07:00,694 --> 01:07:03,909 - [Karl] A gentleman to see you. 1456 01:07:03,909 --> 01:07:07,326 - I told you, I don't want to see anyone. 1457 01:07:11,522 --> 01:07:15,408 - I say that today's educational standards are a disgrace. 1458 01:07:15,408 --> 01:07:18,672 I say that unless every student in this college 1459 01:07:18,672 --> 01:07:20,422 has the opportunity to read the likes 1460 01:07:20,422 --> 01:07:23,741 of Wilbur Wilbur's poetry that the very moral fiber 1461 01:07:23,741 --> 01:07:25,933 of our country will disintegrate. 1462 01:07:25,933 --> 01:07:27,865 And moral fiber is very important. 1463 01:07:27,865 --> 01:07:29,767 It keeps you regular. 1464 01:07:29,767 --> 01:07:33,615 Anyway, with poetry as brilliant is this, 1465 01:07:33,615 --> 01:07:36,288 "I live to love, my love. 1466 01:07:36,288 --> 01:07:38,108 "I used to laugh, my love. 1467 01:07:38,108 --> 01:07:41,267 "Is that a laugh and a half, my love? 1468 01:07:41,267 --> 01:07:43,491 "Because I live to love my calf, 1469 01:07:43,491 --> 01:07:44,550 "so do not laugh"-- 1470 01:07:44,550 --> 01:07:46,856 - And this is a gun. 1471 01:07:46,856 --> 01:07:50,080 Nobody reads poetry that bad and gets away with it. 1472 01:07:50,080 --> 01:07:50,913 - Okay, okay. 1473 01:07:50,913 --> 01:07:51,865 So you didn't like that one. 1474 01:07:51,865 --> 01:07:54,244 Hey, I remember one that goes something like this. 1475 01:07:54,244 --> 01:07:57,872 Uh, deep into my eyes, she looked. 1476 01:07:57,872 --> 01:07:59,372 Deeper and deeper. 1477 01:08:00,212 --> 01:08:01,045 Very deep. 1478 01:08:02,007 --> 01:08:04,266 Her eyelids got heavy. 1479 01:08:04,266 --> 01:08:06,373 Very, very heavy. 1480 01:08:06,373 --> 01:08:07,790 Very, very heavy. 1481 01:08:11,655 --> 01:08:14,155 You're a sittin' duck, Deanie. 1482 01:08:18,777 --> 01:08:19,610 (Vinnie speaking foreign language) 1483 01:08:19,610 --> 01:08:20,557 (Vinnie chuckling) 1484 01:08:20,557 --> 01:08:22,694 Jeez, did you have me scared for a while 1485 01:08:22,694 --> 01:08:23,875 with that firearm. 1486 01:08:23,875 --> 01:08:27,010 (chuckles) I thought I was gonna wet my pants. 1487 01:08:27,010 --> 01:08:29,524 Speaking of that, I gotta drain the old Mamabasta monster, 1488 01:08:29,524 --> 01:08:31,022 you know what I mean? 1489 01:08:31,022 --> 01:08:33,737 Oh first, I gotta give you the instructions, yeah. 1490 01:08:33,737 --> 01:08:35,320 Um, let's see uh... 1491 01:08:36,511 --> 01:08:39,703 When you hear words I gotta take a leak, 1492 01:08:39,703 --> 01:08:42,561 you will fall into a deep trance, all right? 1493 01:08:42,561 --> 01:08:44,228 I gotta take a leak. 1494 01:08:45,722 --> 01:08:47,722 - I gotta take a leak... 1495 01:08:48,559 --> 01:08:51,140 - You will remain in that trance 1496 01:08:51,140 --> 01:08:53,557 until you hear loud applause. 1497 01:08:54,707 --> 01:08:56,263 - Applause. 1498 01:08:56,263 --> 01:08:57,096 - I gotta go. 1499 01:08:57,096 --> 01:08:59,096 Thanks for so much, huh? 1500 01:09:01,863 --> 01:09:04,613 (dramatic music) 1501 01:09:24,283 --> 01:09:26,533 (knocking) 1502 01:09:29,151 --> 01:09:30,984 - [Louie] Knock knock. 1503 01:09:34,781 --> 01:09:36,385 - Who's there? 1504 01:09:36,385 --> 01:09:38,866 - [Both] Louie and Tony. 1505 01:09:38,866 --> 01:09:39,720 - Louie and Tony? 1506 01:09:39,720 --> 01:09:40,572 Why didn't you say so? 1507 01:09:40,572 --> 01:09:41,489 Come on in. 1508 01:09:45,707 --> 01:09:48,874 (typewriter clacking) 1509 01:09:51,262 --> 01:09:54,845 Hey, you're not the Louie and Tony we know. 1510 01:09:55,718 --> 01:09:59,115 Those guys were young, and good-looking. 1511 01:09:59,115 --> 01:10:01,119 And they never dressed funny. 1512 01:10:01,119 --> 01:10:04,032 And they're doing time at Sing Sing. 1513 01:10:04,032 --> 01:10:07,366 - Listen, we came here to introduce ourselves. 1514 01:10:07,366 --> 01:10:11,477 I'm Tony, and this is my associate, Louis. 1515 01:10:11,477 --> 01:10:13,234 We came about The Palace. 1516 01:10:13,234 --> 01:10:16,484 Mr. Napoliani has a daughter in a band. 1517 01:10:17,485 --> 01:10:20,787 They want to play The Palace, this Saturday night. 1518 01:10:20,787 --> 01:10:21,620 - No how. 1519 01:10:21,620 --> 01:10:22,453 - No way. 1520 01:10:22,453 --> 01:10:23,972 - No dice. - No shit. 1521 01:10:23,972 --> 01:10:26,920 ♪ Nobody knows the trouble I've seen ♪ 1522 01:10:26,920 --> 01:10:27,753 - Dad! 1523 01:10:27,753 --> 01:10:28,586 Dad! 1524 01:10:30,880 --> 01:10:33,615 And neither of us are gonna make no deals with no guys 1525 01:10:33,615 --> 01:10:35,342 pretendin' to be Louie and Tony. 1526 01:10:35,342 --> 01:10:37,802 Hey look, even if you was Louie and Tony-- 1527 01:10:37,802 --> 01:10:39,405 - [Mack Sr.] Which you obviously ain't. 1528 01:10:39,405 --> 01:10:41,289 - That don't mean you get The Palace. 1529 01:10:41,289 --> 01:10:43,554 - Even our best friends, they don't get The Palace. 1530 01:10:43,554 --> 01:10:45,207 Our friends, they beg, they threaten. 1531 01:10:45,207 --> 01:10:47,212 But this, this is a very tough business. 1532 01:10:47,212 --> 01:10:48,482 Look at my kid here. 1533 01:10:48,482 --> 01:10:50,771 He's only in the first grade. 1534 01:10:50,771 --> 01:10:52,216 - Listen. 1535 01:10:52,216 --> 01:10:55,943 I will show you how far Mr. Napoliani will go 1536 01:10:55,943 --> 01:10:59,607 when somebody refuses to do him a favor. 1537 01:10:59,607 --> 01:11:02,823 (glasses breaking) 1538 01:11:02,823 --> 01:11:06,287 - Louie, not on your own glasses. 1539 01:11:06,287 --> 01:11:07,398 - Hey. 1540 01:11:07,398 --> 01:11:08,658 Do that again. 1541 01:11:08,658 --> 01:11:09,962 Stomp the glasses. 1542 01:11:09,962 --> 01:11:13,305 (glass crunching) 1543 01:11:13,305 --> 01:11:14,138 Louie! 1544 01:11:15,336 --> 01:11:16,924 Louie! 1545 01:11:16,924 --> 01:11:17,757 It is you! 1546 01:11:19,235 --> 01:11:22,195 My long-lost cousin, Louie! 1547 01:11:22,195 --> 01:11:24,973 Sing Sing may have destroyed your good looks, 1548 01:11:24,973 --> 01:11:28,875 but no one can take away those twinkle-toes of yours. 1549 01:11:28,875 --> 01:11:30,132 Dance, Louie! 1550 01:11:30,132 --> 01:11:34,076 Dance the way you danced the night of my wedding! 1551 01:11:34,076 --> 01:11:38,243 (upbeat swing music) (Louie scatting) 1552 01:11:45,217 --> 01:11:46,317 And Tony! 1553 01:11:46,317 --> 01:11:50,051 You still got the breath of a squid, but I love you, cuz! 1554 01:11:50,051 --> 01:11:51,614 Mwah! 1555 01:11:51,614 --> 01:11:52,645 - What do you say, cuz? 1556 01:11:52,645 --> 01:11:54,084 Do we get The Palace? 1557 01:11:54,084 --> 01:11:56,311 - Sure, say no more! 1558 01:11:56,311 --> 01:11:57,329 (Mack Sr. laughing) 1559 01:11:57,329 --> 01:11:59,246 Mack, get the contract! 1560 01:12:00,416 --> 01:12:03,583 Say the word, and The Palace is yours! 1561 01:12:10,155 --> 01:12:12,123 - [Chuck] Meanwhile, my higher education 1562 01:12:12,123 --> 01:12:14,932 was about to pay off with the most diabolical scheme 1563 01:12:14,932 --> 01:12:17,909 ever to come from a guy voted by his senior class 1564 01:12:17,909 --> 01:12:20,675 most sincere, most intellectual, 1565 01:12:20,675 --> 01:12:23,541 and most likely to become a father before his time; 1566 01:12:23,541 --> 01:12:24,632 Moi. 1567 01:12:24,632 --> 01:12:25,764 Is Dean Hunta there? 1568 01:12:25,764 --> 01:12:29,588 (thunderclap booming) (phone buzzing) 1569 01:12:29,588 --> 01:12:30,921 Hello, Dean? 1570 01:12:30,921 --> 01:12:31,875 Uh, this is Jeff Stone 1571 01:12:31,875 --> 01:12:34,560 from the Hooter College Special Projects Committee. 1572 01:12:34,560 --> 01:12:37,253 Yes, yes, it's very new. 1573 01:12:37,253 --> 01:12:39,829 Um, yes, well we're having a special benefit show 1574 01:12:39,829 --> 01:12:41,652 this Saturday night at The Palace. 1575 01:12:41,652 --> 01:12:43,314 It's to help the Hooter College football team 1576 01:12:43,314 --> 01:12:44,991 raise money for new Nautilus equipment, 1577 01:12:44,991 --> 01:12:48,034 and we'd like you to be the guest speaker. 1578 01:12:48,034 --> 01:12:50,393 Yeah, it's just about two or three minutes to uh, 1579 01:12:50,393 --> 01:12:53,207 open the festivities, if you would. 1580 01:12:53,207 --> 01:12:55,759 The entire school board will be there. 1581 01:12:55,759 --> 01:12:57,234 You'll do it? 1582 01:12:57,234 --> 01:12:58,692 I can count on you then? 1583 01:12:58,692 --> 01:13:01,187 Well, that's great, Dean, thanks again. 1584 01:13:01,187 --> 01:13:03,433 So we'll see you this Saturday night. 1585 01:13:03,433 --> 01:13:04,651 Okay, bye Dean. 1586 01:13:04,651 --> 01:13:08,818 (thunderclap booming) (phone buzzing) 1587 01:13:09,860 --> 01:13:12,527 (drums rolling) 1588 01:13:15,781 --> 01:13:18,781 (upbeat rock music) 1589 01:13:20,045 --> 01:13:24,212 (club patrons conversing quietly) 1590 01:13:25,483 --> 01:13:27,683 Okay, you girls just stay right here, okay? 1591 01:13:27,683 --> 01:13:31,334 And whatever you do, don't miss the warm-up act 1592 01:13:31,334 --> 01:13:35,501 because uh (chuckles) it's a killer. 1593 01:13:37,254 --> 01:13:38,134 - Wait a minute, Chuck. 1594 01:13:38,134 --> 01:13:39,974 I thought this was supposed to be our big gig? 1595 01:13:39,974 --> 01:13:42,074 What's the entire school board doing here? 1596 01:13:42,074 --> 01:13:43,043 - Uh, everything's taken care of. 1597 01:13:43,043 --> 01:13:45,013 You guys just make sure you get into your costumes on time. 1598 01:13:45,013 --> 01:13:45,846 Okay? 1599 01:13:46,759 --> 01:13:49,329 I've got everything under control, Joan. 1600 01:13:49,329 --> 01:13:50,246 Believe me. 1601 01:13:52,119 --> 01:13:54,338 - Something the matter, sir? 1602 01:13:54,338 --> 01:13:57,323 - You mean to say, this fish is fresh? 1603 01:13:57,323 --> 01:13:59,000 What kind of way is that to serve fish? 1604 01:13:59,000 --> 01:13:59,859 Fresh? 1605 01:13:59,859 --> 01:14:02,130 You gotta freeze it first. 1606 01:14:02,130 --> 01:14:03,463 Hey, smell this. 1607 01:14:04,470 --> 01:14:06,285 Like a fish, it smells. 1608 01:14:06,285 --> 01:14:09,602 Who the hell wants to eat fish that smells like a fish? 1609 01:14:09,602 --> 01:14:14,165 This fish is so fresh, it's swimmin' on my fingers. 1610 01:14:14,165 --> 01:14:15,123 (woman screaming) 1611 01:14:15,123 --> 01:14:17,427 - Hey, this is groovy. 1612 01:14:17,427 --> 01:14:19,413 - Mmm. - I should get out more often. 1613 01:14:19,413 --> 01:14:20,288 - Yeah. 1614 01:14:20,288 --> 01:14:22,755 - You two girls are really foxy. 1615 01:14:22,755 --> 01:14:24,542 You must be in a rock band, huh? 1616 01:14:24,542 --> 01:14:25,375 What's your name? 1617 01:14:25,375 --> 01:14:26,208 - Yeah, yeah. 1618 01:14:26,208 --> 01:14:27,041 It was the uh-- 1619 01:14:27,041 --> 01:14:28,165 - With The Rayon. - The Polyesters. 1620 01:14:28,165 --> 01:14:29,359 - Huh? - Uh, uh-- 1621 01:14:29,359 --> 01:14:30,395 - We're with The Silks. 1622 01:14:30,395 --> 01:14:31,521 - Yeah, The Silks, yeah. 1623 01:14:31,521 --> 01:14:32,354 - It's very-- 1624 01:14:32,354 --> 01:14:33,200 - Smooth, yeah. - Smooth. 1625 01:14:33,200 --> 01:14:34,200 I like that. 1626 01:14:36,371 --> 01:14:37,454 - Hey, Midge. 1627 01:14:38,455 --> 01:14:40,276 You wanna go see the last game of the Series? 1628 01:14:40,276 --> 01:14:41,884 I got tickets. 1629 01:14:41,884 --> 01:14:42,884 - Me? - Yeah. 1630 01:14:44,153 --> 01:14:46,176 - I-I love baseball. 1631 01:14:46,176 --> 01:14:47,952 - Yeah? - I love all sports. 1632 01:14:47,952 --> 01:14:49,068 - Yeah? - Yeah! 1633 01:14:49,068 --> 01:14:49,901 - Okay! 1634 01:14:51,724 --> 01:14:53,924 Hey, you know, you already got one hell of a layup. 1635 01:14:53,924 --> 01:14:56,285 I-I think if we work on your jump shot, you could be a pro. 1636 01:14:56,285 --> 01:14:57,460 Really, really. 1637 01:14:57,460 --> 01:14:59,293 - Serious? - Seriously. 1638 01:15:03,125 --> 01:15:04,013 - Just stay here. 1639 01:15:04,013 --> 01:15:06,096 I don't want to lose you. 1640 01:15:09,885 --> 01:15:12,165 Let me just pull you around here. 1641 01:15:12,165 --> 01:15:15,392 You know, and you seem like such nice people too. 1642 01:15:15,392 --> 01:15:17,294 It's not just looks, you know what I mean? 1643 01:15:17,294 --> 01:15:18,127 Let's go, huh? 1644 01:15:18,127 --> 01:15:18,960 Hey. 1645 01:15:18,960 --> 01:15:19,793 Let's go. 1646 01:15:21,453 --> 01:15:22,700 - It's Hunta. 1647 01:15:22,700 --> 01:15:24,351 What the hell is she doing here? 1648 01:15:24,351 --> 01:15:29,061 Looks like our big gig is gonna turn into a blitzkrieg. 1649 01:15:29,061 --> 01:15:30,338 - Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, 1650 01:15:30,338 --> 01:15:31,616 and welcome to The Palace. 1651 01:15:31,616 --> 01:15:35,627 (club patrons cheering and applauding) 1652 01:15:35,627 --> 01:15:36,910 - Hey, Chuck! 1653 01:15:36,910 --> 01:15:37,743 - Hi. 1654 01:15:37,743 --> 01:15:38,705 (Tweeter laughing) 1655 01:15:38,705 --> 01:15:39,951 - That's a friend of mine. 1656 01:15:39,951 --> 01:15:41,223 - Oh yeah? - Yeah, great guy. 1657 01:15:41,223 --> 01:15:42,255 Got him his first gig. 1658 01:15:42,255 --> 01:15:45,095 - Tonight, we are especially proud to have with us 1659 01:15:45,095 --> 01:15:48,411 the board members from the educational capital 1660 01:15:48,411 --> 01:15:50,787 of the Western world, Hooter College here. 1661 01:15:50,787 --> 01:15:54,344 (scattered applause) - Yay, Hooter! 1662 01:15:54,344 --> 01:15:58,296 - And now it is my pleasure to introduce that 1663 01:15:58,296 --> 01:16:00,925 oh so respected educator, 1664 01:16:00,925 --> 01:16:02,675 that Dean about town, 1665 01:16:03,838 --> 01:16:04,972 Dean Hunta. 1666 01:16:04,972 --> 01:16:05,872 (scattered applause) - Yay! 1667 01:16:05,872 --> 01:16:09,039 (thunderclap booming) 1668 01:16:11,859 --> 01:16:12,859 - Thank you. 1669 01:16:14,780 --> 01:16:16,376 (clearing throat) 1670 01:16:16,376 --> 01:16:20,124 Ladies and gentlemen of the Hooter School Board, 1671 01:16:20,124 --> 01:16:24,575 honored guests, we are gathered here this evening 1672 01:16:24,575 --> 01:16:27,494 in hope that we can reach our goal 1673 01:16:27,494 --> 01:16:32,264 of making enough money for the Hooter College football team 1674 01:16:32,264 --> 01:16:36,045 to purchase badly needed athletic equipment. 1675 01:16:36,045 --> 01:16:38,100 - This is gettin' boring. - Coach Langley advises me 1676 01:16:38,100 --> 01:16:41,416 that uh, with a strong exercise program, 1677 01:16:41,416 --> 01:16:44,459 we can turn the team around. - Vinnie, now. 1678 01:16:44,459 --> 01:16:46,715 - Excuse me ladies, because uh, 1679 01:16:46,715 --> 01:16:48,382 I gotta take a leak. 1680 01:16:49,763 --> 01:16:50,763 - Support... 1681 01:16:52,041 --> 01:16:53,654 From... 1682 01:16:53,654 --> 01:16:55,904 (laughing) 1683 01:16:59,005 --> 01:17:01,672 (sensual music) 1684 01:17:06,484 --> 01:17:11,484 ♪ Good love's what I need ♪ 1685 01:17:12,807 --> 01:17:17,807 ♪ Desire's what I preach ♪ 1686 01:17:19,440 --> 01:17:24,440 ♪ Good things I beg for ♪ 1687 01:17:25,861 --> 01:17:30,861 ♪ Like sexy men I want to see ♪ 1688 01:17:32,603 --> 01:17:37,603 ♪ Want love so bad ♪ 1689 01:17:39,199 --> 01:17:44,199 ♪ Makes me quiver inside ♪ 1690 01:17:45,777 --> 01:17:50,777 ♪ Oh, honey, it's you ♪ 1691 01:17:52,283 --> 01:17:57,283 ♪ A burning hunk by my side ♪ 1692 01:18:01,552 --> 01:18:04,466 ♪ All I need ♪ 1693 01:18:04,466 --> 01:18:08,764 ♪ Is you most at night ♪ 1694 01:18:08,764 --> 01:18:11,307 ♪ I don't need ♪ 1695 01:18:11,307 --> 01:18:14,651 ♪ A better man ♪ 1696 01:18:14,651 --> 01:18:18,197 ♪ And if I find ♪ 1697 01:18:18,197 --> 01:18:20,526 ♪ This lover of mine ♪ 1698 01:18:20,526 --> 01:18:22,634 ♪ I'm gonna squeeze him ♪ 1699 01:18:22,634 --> 01:18:23,911 ♪ Whip him ♪ 1700 01:18:23,911 --> 01:18:26,712 ♪ Into perfect shape ♪ 1701 01:18:26,712 --> 01:18:31,350 ♪ Baby, it could be you ♪ 1702 01:18:31,350 --> 01:18:33,278 ♪ To fulfill ♪ 1703 01:18:33,278 --> 01:18:38,070 ♪ My dream ♪ 1704 01:18:38,070 --> 01:18:40,147 ♪ Come on, get up ♪ 1705 01:18:40,147 --> 01:18:44,523 ♪ Take a stand ♪ 1706 01:18:44,523 --> 01:18:48,523 ♪ Dean Hunta here, take my hand ♪ 1707 01:18:49,807 --> 01:18:53,807 (crowd cheering and applauding) 1708 01:18:58,330 --> 01:19:01,080 - That's my little Stormtrooper! 1709 01:19:10,912 --> 01:19:13,093 - Ladies and gentlemen, The Splitz! 1710 01:19:13,093 --> 01:19:15,881 (upbeat rock music) 1711 01:19:15,881 --> 01:19:20,048 (gun firing) (crowd cheering) 1712 01:19:34,469 --> 01:19:35,755 ♪ Hey ♪ 1713 01:19:35,755 --> 01:19:38,569 ♪ We've got it made ♪ 1714 01:19:38,569 --> 01:19:41,228 ♪ We've got it all tonight ♪ 1715 01:19:41,228 --> 01:19:43,910 ♪ We've got it made ♪ 1716 01:19:43,910 --> 01:19:45,614 ♪ We didn't care ♪ 1717 01:19:45,614 --> 01:19:46,615 ♪ Care ♪ 1718 01:19:46,615 --> 01:19:49,226 ♪ We've got it made ♪ 1719 01:19:49,226 --> 01:19:52,053 ♪ Don't want to work in no shadow ♪ 1720 01:19:52,053 --> 01:19:54,122 ♪ We're the girls in the band ♪ 1721 01:19:54,122 --> 01:19:55,767 ♪ And it's an uphill battle ♪ 1722 01:19:55,767 --> 01:19:59,646 ♪ Think about it, think about the things we've got tonight ♪ 1723 01:19:59,646 --> 01:20:02,093 ♪ What a beautiful sight, that's right ♪ 1724 01:20:02,093 --> 01:20:04,877 ♪ Stayin' in the band is what we like ♪ 1725 01:20:04,877 --> 01:20:06,212 ♪ Like a thief in the night ♪ 1726 01:20:06,212 --> 01:20:07,588 ♪ Who knows, who knows ♪ 1727 01:20:07,588 --> 01:20:09,194 ♪ Who knows, who knows ♪ 1728 01:20:09,194 --> 01:20:11,614 ♪ Sometimes we surprise, there's so many sizes ♪ 1729 01:20:11,614 --> 01:20:12,840 ♪ I know, we know ♪ 1730 01:20:12,840 --> 01:20:15,225 ♪ I know, we know ♪ 1731 01:20:15,225 --> 01:20:20,225 ♪ We're a miracle now ♪ 1732 01:20:21,990 --> 01:20:26,401 ♪ Hey, we're the kids on the block ♪ 1733 01:20:26,401 --> 01:20:27,458 ♪ Looking for the spotlight ♪ 1734 01:20:27,458 --> 01:20:28,975 ♪ We ♪ 1735 01:20:28,975 --> 01:20:31,593 ♪ We were raised on rock ♪ 1736 01:20:31,593 --> 01:20:32,773 ♪ Dancing in the moonlight ♪ 1737 01:20:32,773 --> 01:20:34,630 ♪ Five, six, seven, eight, nine ♪ 1738 01:20:34,630 --> 01:20:37,266 ♪ When the clock strikes 10 ♪ 1739 01:20:37,266 --> 01:20:38,514 ♪ Gonna time it ♪ 1740 01:20:38,514 --> 01:20:39,910 ♪ Gonna face the crowd ♪ 1741 01:20:39,910 --> 01:20:41,019 ♪ They're gonna love it ♪ 1742 01:20:41,019 --> 01:20:44,351 ♪ Play a little faster, burn ya 'til the gas dies ♪ 1743 01:20:44,351 --> 01:20:47,307 ♪ Think about the boy you love tonight ♪ 1744 01:20:47,307 --> 01:20:48,984 ♪ What a beautiful sight ♪ 1745 01:20:48,984 --> 01:20:50,010 ♪ Hold tight ♪ 1746 01:20:50,010 --> 01:20:52,769 ♪ Dancing is the dark is what I like ♪ 1747 01:20:52,769 --> 01:20:54,165 ♪ Like a thief in the night ♪ 1748 01:20:54,165 --> 01:20:55,517 ♪ Who knows, who knows ♪ 1749 01:20:55,517 --> 01:20:57,089 ♪ Who knows, who knows ♪ 1750 01:20:57,089 --> 01:20:59,588 ♪ Sometimes we surprise, there's so many sizes ♪ 1751 01:20:59,588 --> 01:21:00,851 ♪ I know, we know ♪ 1752 01:21:00,851 --> 01:21:02,443 ♪ I know, we know ♪ 1753 01:21:02,443 --> 01:21:05,389 ♪ Maybe we're a miracle now ♪ 1754 01:21:05,389 --> 01:21:06,915 ♪ Anyone else ♪ 1755 01:21:06,915 --> 01:21:10,556 ♪ Would have kept all their dreams in their place ♪ 1756 01:21:10,556 --> 01:21:12,396 ♪ Anyone else ♪ 1757 01:21:12,396 --> 01:21:16,479 ♪ Would have laughed in our face ♪ 1758 01:21:52,481 --> 01:21:53,681 - Okay, kid, who are they? 1759 01:21:53,681 --> 01:21:54,963 I want 'em to sign right here, 1760 01:21:54,963 --> 01:21:56,034 they're gonna headline at The Palace 1761 01:21:56,034 --> 01:21:57,445 for the whole next year. 1762 01:21:57,445 --> 01:22:00,263 $20,000 closes the deal. 1763 01:22:00,263 --> 01:22:02,672 - Uh, it's The-The Splitz. 1764 01:22:02,672 --> 01:22:03,505 - Splitz? 1765 01:22:04,510 --> 01:22:08,197 - S, S-P-L-I-T-Z. 1766 01:22:08,197 --> 01:22:09,145 That's fine. 1767 01:22:09,145 --> 01:22:11,228 And I will uh, sign here. 1768 01:22:12,360 --> 01:22:13,685 This is mine. 1769 01:22:13,685 --> 01:22:15,631 (both laughing) 1770 01:22:15,631 --> 01:22:16,692 There you go. 1771 01:22:16,692 --> 01:22:19,442 - Thank you. - Thank you so much. 1772 01:22:31,193 --> 01:22:32,760 20 thou a week! 1773 01:22:32,760 --> 01:22:34,250 - Forget about it, huh? 1774 01:22:34,250 --> 01:22:35,952 (Vinnie laughing) 1775 01:22:35,952 --> 01:22:37,362 - Do you realize how much of that's gonna be mine? 1776 01:22:37,362 --> 01:22:38,836 (Vinnie speaking foreign language) 1777 01:22:38,836 --> 01:22:40,187 Do you realize how much money I'm gonna be making, 1778 01:22:40,187 --> 01:22:41,960 starting tomorrow? 1779 01:22:41,960 --> 01:22:44,710 Vinnie, I'm gonna be raking in... 1780 01:22:45,638 --> 01:22:48,296 Like, next to nothing, you know what I mean? 1781 01:22:48,296 --> 01:22:51,202 Like, very, very, very, very little money. 1782 01:22:51,202 --> 01:22:52,035 Like... 1783 01:22:52,936 --> 01:22:54,936 Bare minimum, you know? 1784 01:23:01,092 --> 01:23:02,706 Sometimes life has a funny way 1785 01:23:02,706 --> 01:23:04,979 of making everything right again, you know? 1786 01:23:04,979 --> 01:23:06,711 I mean, look at me and The Splitz. 1787 01:23:06,711 --> 01:23:08,386 Just when you think the ride is over, 1788 01:23:08,386 --> 01:23:10,843 wham, you're off on another wild spin. 1789 01:23:10,843 --> 01:23:12,807 And just when you think you've got everything you wanted, 1790 01:23:12,807 --> 01:23:15,538 boom, everything you ever wanted changes. 1791 01:23:15,538 --> 01:23:18,278 You just can't predict what will happen. 1792 01:23:18,278 --> 01:23:19,687 And I guess that's a pretty good reason 1793 01:23:19,687 --> 01:23:22,500 to just stick it out, give it all you got, 1794 01:23:22,500 --> 01:23:24,628 and you go for the gusto or don't go at all, 1795 01:23:24,628 --> 01:23:26,118 or something, I don't know. 1796 01:23:26,118 --> 01:23:27,924 But just a word of advice; 1797 01:23:27,924 --> 01:23:30,973 When it comes to those gates of knowledge, walk proud, 1798 01:23:30,973 --> 01:23:32,267 but not alone. 1799 01:23:32,267 --> 01:23:33,577 Take a glance over your shoulder 1800 01:23:33,577 --> 01:23:36,210 to make sure your dreams are still there, 1801 01:23:36,210 --> 01:23:39,176 because they ought to be, walking right in there with you. 1802 01:23:39,176 --> 01:23:43,176 (crowd cheering and applauding) 1803 01:23:50,306 --> 01:23:53,130 ♪ He's such a busy boy, busy boy, runnin' around ♪ 1804 01:23:53,130 --> 01:23:56,060 ♪ He's such a busy boy, busy boy, can't settle down ♪ 1805 01:23:56,060 --> 01:23:59,064 ♪ He's such a busy boy, busy boy, he's coming down ♪ 1806 01:23:59,064 --> 01:24:02,122 ♪ He's such a busy boy, spreadin' joy all over time ♪ 1807 01:24:02,122 --> 01:24:06,055 ♪ And I'm all dizzy just wonderin' is he ♪ 1808 01:24:06,055 --> 01:24:07,510 ♪ Ever gonna ♪ 1809 01:24:07,510 --> 01:24:12,288 ♪ Ever gonna miss me ♪ 1810 01:24:12,288 --> 01:24:13,601 ♪ He's so busy ♪ 1811 01:24:13,601 --> 01:24:15,190 ♪ Oh so busy ♪ 1812 01:24:15,190 --> 01:24:18,092 ♪ He's so busy every mornin' and the night ♪ 1813 01:24:18,092 --> 01:24:20,860 ♪ When I tell you, he'll say I'm crazy ♪ 1814 01:24:20,860 --> 01:24:23,560 ♪ And when I leave you and I'm coming up to see you ♪ 1815 01:24:23,560 --> 01:24:24,974 ♪ You say you used to love me ♪ 1816 01:24:24,974 --> 01:24:26,602 ♪ And you're always thinking of me ♪ 1817 01:24:26,602 --> 01:24:28,062 ♪ But you really gotta go now ♪ 1818 01:24:28,062 --> 01:24:32,229 ♪ 'Cause you're kind of in a hurry ♪ 1819 01:24:41,580 --> 01:24:45,369 ♪ And I'm all dizzy just wonderin' is he ♪ 1820 01:24:45,369 --> 01:24:46,824 ♪ Ever gonna ♪ 1821 01:24:46,824 --> 01:24:51,246 ♪ Ever gonna miss me ♪ 1822 01:24:51,246 --> 01:24:52,337 ♪ Oh no ♪ 1823 01:24:52,337 --> 01:24:56,851 ♪ Now he's passin' right by my door ♪ 1824 01:24:56,851 --> 01:24:58,337 ♪ Oh no ♪ 1825 01:24:58,337 --> 01:25:00,177 ♪ All the kids are laughin' ♪ 1826 01:25:00,177 --> 01:25:05,177 ♪ I'm the girlfriend he's supposed to adore ♪ 1827 01:25:05,593 --> 01:25:08,534 ♪ He's such a busy boy, busy boy, runnin' around ♪ 1828 01:25:08,534 --> 01:25:11,580 ♪ He's such a busy boy, busy boy, can't settle down ♪ 1829 01:25:11,580 --> 01:25:14,574 ♪ He's such a busy boy, busy boy, he's coming down ♪ 1830 01:25:14,574 --> 01:25:17,638 ♪ He's such a busy boy, spreadin' joy all over town ♪ 1831 01:25:17,638 --> 01:25:20,906 ♪ And I'm all dizzy just wonderin' is he ♪ 1832 01:25:20,906 --> 01:25:24,117 ♪ Ever gonna miss me, just find the time to kiss me ♪ 1833 01:25:24,117 --> 01:25:27,669 ♪ We never make affection, as time goes passin' ♪ 1834 01:25:27,669 --> 01:25:29,131 ♪ I'm gonna be ♪ 1835 01:25:29,131 --> 01:25:32,844 ♪ Too busy for you ♪ 1836 01:25:32,844 --> 01:25:35,621 ♪ He's such a busy boy, busy boy ♪ 1837 01:25:35,621 --> 01:25:38,457 ♪ Oh, he's such a busy, busy boy ♪ 1838 01:25:38,457 --> 01:25:41,370 ♪ Oh, he's such a busy, busy boy ♪ 1839 01:25:41,370 --> 01:25:44,461 ♪ Oh, he's such a busy, busy boy ♪ 1840 01:25:44,461 --> 01:25:47,387 ♪ Oh, he's such a busy, busy boy ♪ 1841 01:25:47,387 --> 01:25:50,432 ♪ Oh, he's such a busy, busy boy ♪ 1842 01:25:50,432 --> 01:25:53,454 ♪ Oh, he's such a busy, busy boy ♪ 1843 01:25:53,454 --> 01:25:56,478 ♪ Oh, he's such a busy, busy boy ♪ 1844 01:25:56,478 --> 01:25:59,561 ♪ Oh, he's such a busy, busy boy ♪ 1845 01:25:59,561 --> 01:26:02,530 ♪ Oh, he's such a busy, busy boy ♪ 1846 01:26:02,530 --> 01:26:06,613 ♪ Oh, he's such a busy, busy boy ♪ 1847 01:26:31,222 --> 01:26:34,055 (multicom jingle) 130387