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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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www.tvsubtitles.net
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Come on. You'll love it.
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00:00:03,703 --> 00:00:05,637
I'm not so sure
about this, Dharma.
4
00:00:05,705 --> 00:00:08,503
What kind of guys put lipstick
on theirwives?
5
00:00:08,575 --> 00:00:11,066
French guys.
6
00:00:11,144 --> 00:00:14,170
Well, thereyou go.
[ Chuckles ]
7
00:00:14,247 --> 00:00:17,842
Okay. I'll tell you what.
Ifthis doesn't rockyourworld...
8
00:00:17,917 --> 00:00:22,217
I'll put on one ofyour dress shirts
with no pants and high heels.
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00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:26,414
- That seems fair.
- Attaboy!
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Ooh, red.
[ Chuckles ]
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00:00:31,264 --> 00:00:33,960
Well, I guess, uh, pucker up.
12
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:37,765
No, I don't pucker up.
In fact, my mouth has to be open.
13
00:00:40,306 --> 00:00:42,240
Oh.
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Start with my upper lip.
15
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Oh, boy.
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- Good so far, huh?
- Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
17
00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:54,219
Now do my bottom.
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00:00:56,289 --> 00:00:59,122
Please don't say that.
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00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:00,853
Come on.
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00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:03,657
- Dharma?
- Huh?
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00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:07,393
I have no blood
in my head whatsoever.
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00:01:25,718 --> 00:01:28,209
Okay, pot's right.
Last card down and dirty.
23
00:01:28,288 --> 00:01:30,222
[Jane ]
What'd I miss?
24
00:01:30,290 --> 00:01:33,453
All right. Best car ever made:
'57 T-Bird.
25
00:01:33,526 --> 00:01:35,824
Best sausage:
Sheboygan brats.
26
00:01:35,895 --> 00:01:37,829
Which somehow lead to...
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00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:41,333
"Which network anchorwoman
would do the best lap dance?"
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- Maria Shriver.
- See? That's where I would have gone.
29
00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:51,106
But apparently fear
of Arnold runs pretty high.
30
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:53,202
Cokie Roberts?
31
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:55,770
Cokie Roberts is a bright woman.
32
00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:58,511
You reallywant a woman that's smarter
than you giving you a lap dance?
33
00:01:58,585 --> 00:02:01,247
- Of course.
- How about Mary Hart?
34
00:02:01,321 --> 00:02:03,812
Ah, no, no, no,
she's smarter than Greg too.
35
00:02:03,890 --> 00:02:05,755
[ Men Chuckling ]
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00:02:05,825 --> 00:02:08,350
I don't think I've ever seen
your husband with his friends.
37
00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:11,022
I know.
You know what it's like?
38
00:02:11,097 --> 00:02:13,031
It's like seeing
a lion in a zoo...
39
00:02:13,099 --> 00:02:15,329
and then seeing the lion
out on the Serengeti...
40
00:02:15,401 --> 00:02:18,802
talking about a bunch of
stupid stuffwith other lions.
41
00:02:20,273 --> 00:02:22,901
- Could I try somethin'?
-Just keepyour hands in thejeep.
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00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,444
[Jane]
Baseball playerwho'd look best in drag?
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00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:27,912
Ken GriffeyJr.
44
00:02:29,449 --> 00:02:31,883
He's got a mustache.
Now David Justice could be cute.
45
00:02:31,951 --> 00:02:34,715
- Plus, he's a lefty.
- What's that got to do with it?
46
00:02:34,787 --> 00:02:37,585
I'm just sayin',
it's harder to find a lefty.
47
00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:41,719
- Who's he?
- Oh, man, you're gonna love this.
48
00:02:41,794 --> 00:02:46,731
He's been in the poker game for twoyears,
and no one knows his name.
49
00:02:46,799 --> 00:02:50,701
- Hey, guys.
- Lookwho's here!
50
00:02:50,770 --> 00:02:52,965
- Hey, big guy.
- Hey, dude.
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00:02:53,039 --> 00:02:54,973
Hey, man.
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Nice hair cut, captain.
53
00:02:58,778 --> 00:03:02,646
- What slugs.
- [ Dharma ] They're not slugs,Jane.
54
00:03:02,715 --> 00:03:05,149
They're like clams. You just gotta
get 'em to open up. Watch this.
55
00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:08,585
- Hey, Rog! Favorite Stooge?
- Moe.
56
00:03:08,655 --> 00:03:11,624
Yeah, Moe rules!
Whoo! You rock!
57
00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:14,751
- Dharma, doyou have anything for a headache?
- Why? What's the matter?
58
00:03:14,827 --> 00:03:17,227
I have a headache.
59
00:03:17,297 --> 00:03:19,231
Well, Roger,
that's just a symptom.
60
00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:22,530
Usually there's an emotional problem
that goes along with our physical ailment.
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00:03:22,602 --> 00:03:24,968
Aspirin, ibuprofen,
acetaminophen.
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00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:29,372
Loneliness,
depression, anger.
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00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:32,969
- A little bourbon would be just fine.
- Is everything okay at work?
64
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:38,109
Actually, I'm not working.
I, uh, got laid off.
65
00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:41,847
Oh. And you haven't told
yourwifeyet, haveyou?
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00:03:41,921 --> 00:03:46,381
- How did you know?
- You just had your clam shucked, boy.
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00:03:48,027 --> 00:03:51,724
And so I'm outta work,
I'm outta money...
68
00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:54,028
and like an idiot,
I buy a Porsche.
69
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:57,661
You're not an idiot, Roger, you know.
I mean, you're just-
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00:03:57,737 --> 00:04:01,867
You're just trying to reclaim your masculinity
in some way, you know.
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00:04:03,042 --> 00:04:04,976
- You're right.
- Yeah.
72
00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:08,172
Sound familiar, Stuart?
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00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:11,809
No. I need the boat
because I entertain clients.
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00:04:11,884 --> 00:04:13,818
Ah.
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00:04:13,886 --> 00:04:16,480
You need the boat because-
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00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:19,081
Because I...
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00:04:19,158 --> 00:04:21,490
don't feel good about myself.
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00:04:21,561 --> 00:04:24,462
[Dharma ]
Thereya go.
79
00:04:24,530 --> 00:04:27,226
Can I- Can I say something?
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00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:29,860
Sure, Howard.
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00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:32,370
My entire life is a lie.
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00:04:32,438 --> 00:04:37,171
Aw. So this Howard and this Howard
aren't gettin' along, huh?
83
00:04:37,243 --> 00:04:40,804
- They never even met.
- It's okay.
84
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:42,871
Doyou have any nines?
85
00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:46,718
No.
86
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:49,880
- Say it.
- I don't want to.
87
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:52,550
Come on.Just say it.
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Go... fish.
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00:04:55,395 --> 00:04:57,989
Thankyou.
I believe I will!
90
00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:03,062
So apparently these ducks
are some sort of protected species...
91
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:05,070
and there's not a thing
I can do about them.
92
00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:07,333
Except complain.
93
00:05:07,407 --> 00:05:09,932
Well, what did you
expect me to do?
94
00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:13,911
Well, darling, they are ruining the pool.
Can'tyou make a phone call?
95
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,914
Mother, I work
for theJustice Department.
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00:05:15,982 --> 00:05:20,282
Ifyour ducks take a minor
across state lines, I'll make a phone call.
97
00:05:20,353 --> 00:05:23,117
Cannonball! Whoo!
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00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:25,657
[WaterSplashing]
99
00:05:25,725 --> 00:05:27,920
- [Ducks FlyingAway]
- Problem solved.
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00:05:27,994 --> 00:05:31,327
- [Dharma ] Marco!
- Polo!
101
00:05:31,397 --> 00:05:35,493
- Edward, please don't encourage her.
- [ WaterSplashes ]
102
00:05:35,568 --> 00:05:38,594
- Wow, they come right back, don't they?
- I know, I know.
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00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:44,337
I had the maid jump in and out of the pool
all dayyesterday. It didn't do a thing.
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00:05:44,410 --> 00:05:47,902
- A couple ofyour ducks bit me.
- They're not my ducks.
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00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:50,574
Really? They sure act
likeyour ducks.
106
00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:52,880
Why don'tyou just
drain the pool?
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00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:55,819
[Kitty]
I can't. I'm having a bigpartynext Sunday.
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00:05:55,888 --> 00:06:01,588
[ Greg] Then paint the ducks white
and tell every.one they're stumpyswans.
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00:06:01,661 --> 00:06:05,097
[ Kitty]
Edward, please tellyour son he is not helping.
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00:06:05,164 --> 00:06:07,758
- Edward?
- Polo.
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00:06:10,570 --> 00:06:14,768
- [ Ri ngi ng ]
- Dharma, dear, you could go change
in the cabana over there.
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00:06:14,841 --> 00:06:16,934
All done.
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00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:23,140
Montgomery..
Oh, hey, Stuart.
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00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:25,741
Dharma?
Yeah, she's right here.
115
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,850
Hey, Stuart, what's up?
116
00:06:29,922 --> 00:06:33,323
Oh, no, that happens to guys
all the time. Don't feel bad.
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00:06:35,094 --> 00:06:37,460
No, lots of guys
have problems with impotence.
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00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:39,725
Who is she talking to?
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00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:41,926
A poker buddy of mine.
120
00:06:42,001 --> 00:06:44,731
Sometimes it's stress,
sometimes it's diet-
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00:06:44,804 --> 00:06:48,035
- Well, why is she talking-
- Shh, shh, shh, shh!
122
00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:54,636
I'll tell you what. How 'bout I takeyou over
to my Chinese herbalist tomorrow morning...
123
00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:58,514
and see ifwe can't put some starch
back in that collar.
124
00:07:00,486 --> 00:07:03,751
Yeah. No, don't thank me.
That's what friends are for.
125
00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:06,724
Okay. Oh, wait. Hold on. Doyou want
to say anything to Stuart?
126
00:07:06,793 --> 00:07:09,353
What am I supposed to say?
127
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,421
Tell him it comes and goes.
128
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,958
[ Sighs ]
129
00:07:20,873 --> 00:07:25,173
So it doesn't botheryou thatyourwife's
talkin' to Stuart about his-Well, you know.
130
00:07:25,244 --> 00:07:27,610
- You can say "impotence."
- No, you can't.
131
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,911
Because ifyou say it, you think it.
Ifyou think it, you got it.
132
00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:34,146
Ifyou got it, you might as well be buying
black shoes for the beach, my friend.
133
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:36,154
You're done.
134
00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:40,886
Hey, the guy's got a problem. Mywife's got
a solution. I don't see any harm in it.
135
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:43,656
Yeah?
What ifthey become friends?
136
00:07:43,729 --> 00:07:46,630
What about it? She wants to be friends
with my friends. I think that's great.
137
00:07:46,699 --> 00:07:48,826
Areyou kiddin' me?
138
00:07:48,901 --> 00:07:51,529
All right. Sayyou have an affair
with Cindy Crawford.
139
00:07:51,604 --> 00:07:54,129
I'm not going to have an affair
with Cindy Crawford.
140
00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:57,005
Yeah, no kiddin'.
141
00:07:57,076 --> 00:07:59,442
But sayyou did,
who areyou gonna tell?
142
00:07:59,512 --> 00:08:01,480
You can't tell your friends
because now they'reyourwife's-
143
00:08:01,547 --> 00:08:05,210
- Hey, guys.
- Habeas corpus, ex post facto, e pluribus unum.
144
00:08:05,284 --> 00:08:08,117
- Dharma, hi. Let me askyou a question.
- Hi. Okay.
145
00:08:08,187 --> 00:08:11,918
- Ifl had an affairwith Cindy Crawford,
could I tell you?
- I'd tell you.
146
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:14,789
Thereyou go. Problem solved.
What areyou doin' here?
147
00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:18,558
I'm just havin' lunch with Howard downstairs
and I thought I'd come by and say hello.
148
00:08:18,631 --> 00:08:20,997
- Howard? Greg's friend Howard?
- Mm-hmm.
149
00:08:21,067 --> 00:08:23,695
Uh-huh.
150
00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:25,634
He called you?
151
00:08:25,705 --> 00:08:27,798
Yeah, he was, uh,
talking to Stuart and-
152
00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:29,808
'Cause he wanted the number
of my acupuncturist.
153
00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:32,674
And then we ended up talking for, like,
three hours, so we just figured we'd go get lunch.
154
00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:35,145
Anyway, I don't wanna keep him, honey.
I'll seeyou.
155
00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:37,148
- Have a good day. Bye, Pete.
- Toodle-oo.
156
00:08:37,216 --> 00:08:39,980
[Door Closes ]
157
00:08:40,052 --> 00:08:42,987
- It-It doesn't bother me.
- I didn't say anything.
158
00:08:43,055 --> 00:08:46,047
I know you didn't. I'm just reiterating
I'm comfortable with mywife...
159
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:49,151
bonding with my friends and forming
their own friendships separate from mine.
160
00:08:49,228 --> 00:08:52,561
- Well, then you're a better man than I am.
- Thankyou.
161
00:08:57,904 --> 00:09:00,771
I'm still a better man than you.
162
00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:09,979
I'm so glad to get that
off my chest.
163
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,983
You know that old saying.
164
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:16,249
Ifyou're gonna bottle upyour feelings,
you better pickle 'em first.
165
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:18,847
I haven't heard that saying.
166
00:09:18,925 --> 00:09:21,359
Actually, I made it up,
but I don't think it's catching on verywell.
167
00:09:22,828 --> 00:09:24,762
- Hey, lookwho's here!
- Hi, Howard.
168
00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:27,321
- Uh, honey, can I talk toyou for a sec?
- Sure.
169
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,334
Excuse me.
170
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:34,772
I want to know five things you love
aboutyourselfby the time I get back.
171
00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,240
Uh, Dharma, remember
howyou always say...
172
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:39,278
ifyou're gonna bottle upyour feelings,
you better pickle 'em first?
173
00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:42,439
Hey, it is catching on!
174
00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:45,382
I'm just a little uncomfortable...
175
00:09:45,451 --> 00:09:48,386
thatyou're spending
so much time with myfriends.
176
00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:52,049
I'm sorry, Greg, but they are dying
for someone to talk to.
177
00:09:52,124 --> 00:09:55,116
Did you know that Roger
is about to declare bankruptcy?
178
00:09:55,194 --> 00:09:59,927
- I had no idea.
- Yeah. And Paul has some major
self-esteem issues.
179
00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:03,025
- Paul? Who's Paul?
- The guy in your poker game
whose nameyou don't know.
180
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:06,868
Paul- Paul!
181
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:09,499
You didn't happen
to get a last name, did ya?
182
00:10:09,575 --> 00:10:12,510
Paul Binyan. How can you forget a guy
whose name is Paul Binyan?
183
00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:18,414
- I'm sorry. What wereyou saying
about me and your friends?
- It's not a good idea.
184
00:10:18,484 --> 00:10:22,079
- Why?
- I don't know.
185
00:10:22,154 --> 00:10:26,488
What if Howard had too much
to drink and hit on you?
186
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:29,619
- Believe me, Greg, that's not gonna happen.
- Why not?
187
00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:33,426
'Cause Howard's got a crush on you.
188
00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:42,199
What?
189
00:10:51,517 --> 00:10:54,418
See? Nothin' to worry about.
190
00:10:59,123 --> 00:11:02,684
- Okay, have fun.
- [ Men ] Where ya goin'? Stick around.
191
00:11:02,760 --> 00:11:06,127
- Oh, no, now you boys just playwith Greg.
- [ All Moan ]
192
00:11:06,197 --> 00:11:08,358
Are we playing cards?
It's a dollar to Roger.
193
00:11:08,432 --> 00:11:11,560
- I'll see the dollar and raise four.
- Oooh.
194
00:11:11,636 --> 00:11:14,537
[Dharma's Voice ]
Roger's fiiling fiorbankruptcy.
195
00:11:17,275 --> 00:11:19,402
You sure you wanna
do that, Roger?
196
00:11:19,477 --> 00:11:22,105
'Cause I'm pretty sure Pete
filled out his straight.
197
00:11:22,179 --> 00:11:24,477
And thanks for pointin' that out.
198
00:11:24,548 --> 00:11:27,176
Relax, Pete.
It's a friendly game.
199
00:11:27,251 --> 00:11:29,185
Greg's right, Pete.
It's a friendly game.
200
00:11:29,253 --> 00:11:32,051
[Dharma's Voice ]
Howard's got a crush onyou.
201
00:11:34,558 --> 00:11:37,823
Let's not get excited, Howard.
202
00:11:37,895 --> 00:11:41,797
What are you talking about?
No one's getting excited.
203
00:11:41,866 --> 00:11:44,300
[Dharma's Voice ]
Lots ofimen have problems with impotence.
204
00:11:46,070 --> 00:11:48,504
That's it!
I can't play anymore!
205
00:11:48,572 --> 00:11:51,769
- You can have my chips-
- [Dharma's Voice ] Paul Binyan.
206
00:11:51,842 --> 00:11:54,037
Paul Binyan.
207
00:11:57,381 --> 00:11:59,315
What's with him?
208
00:11:59,383 --> 00:12:01,681
- Who knows?
- Well, maybe somebody should go talk to him.
209
00:12:01,752 --> 00:12:04,118
I'll go.
210
00:12:07,959 --> 00:12:09,893
- [ Moans ]
- [Ducks Quacking]
211
00:12:09,961 --> 00:12:13,453
Oh, yeah. See, what's happening here
is you've got a mating pair.
212
00:12:13,531 --> 00:12:17,661
And so once ducks have chosen
a nesting area, they become very territorial.
213
00:12:17,735 --> 00:12:20,829
Wonderfully informative, Abby,
but Dharma said you could get rid ofthem.
214
00:12:20,905 --> 00:12:22,839
You bet she can get rid ofthem.
215
00:12:22,907 --> 00:12:26,172
Abby's got a degree from Berkeley
in ornithological psychology.
216
00:12:26,243 --> 00:12:29,178
It's the study ofbird brains.
217
00:12:29,246 --> 00:12:31,771
That must come in handy.
218
00:12:34,685 --> 00:12:36,619
- Hey, Kitty.
- Mm-hmm?
219
00:12:36,687 --> 00:12:39,281
Does it botheryou that the amount
of energyyou use to heat this pool...
220
00:12:39,357 --> 00:12:42,520
could keep a third-world familywarm
for an entire winter?
221
00:12:42,593 --> 00:12:45,221
I thought the third world
was in a warm climate.
222
00:12:47,398 --> 00:12:51,596
Well, hello toyou too.
223
00:12:51,669 --> 00:12:53,796
[ Whistle Quacking ]
224
00:12:53,871 --> 00:12:55,839
First, I'm gonna open
a line of communication.
225
00:12:55,906 --> 00:12:59,398
Uh-huh. And then tell them ifthey don't leave,
I'm throwing a hair dryer in the pool.
226
00:13:01,579 --> 00:13:03,979
- Hey, what's this?
- [Bell Buzzes ]
227
00:13:06,417 --> 00:13:08,408
Can getyou something,
Mr. Finkelstein?
228
00:13:08,486 --> 00:13:12,684
Whoa, Celia. Sorry.
No, you don't have to wait on me.
229
00:13:12,757 --> 00:13:18,252
I cannot endorse by my actions any system that
places one human being in servitude to another.
230
00:13:18,329 --> 00:13:21,628
I just made a pitcher
of strawberry margaritas.
231
00:13:21,699 --> 00:13:26,102
Well, ifthey're already made.
232
00:13:26,170 --> 00:13:29,901
- [ Quacking ]
- [ Screams ]
233
00:13:36,380 --> 00:13:39,781
Hey, honey, all the guys are meetin'up
at Hanrahans. Doyou wanna go?
234
00:13:39,850 --> 00:13:42,284
I can't. I've already
made plans of my own.
235
00:13:42,353 --> 00:13:45,117
Oh, shoot, 'cause Howard's showing
a bunch of his charcoal drawings.
236
00:13:45,189 --> 00:13:47,987
He's got a couple
ofbeauties ofyou at the gym.
237
00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,064
The gym. Huh. Neat.
238
00:13:58,135 --> 00:14:03,732
Uh, but as I said before,
I've already made plans of my own.
239
00:14:03,808 --> 00:14:07,801
- Well, have fun. Seeya.
- Don'tyou... wanna know what they are?
240
00:14:07,878 --> 00:14:12,440
- Uh, okay, sure.
- Well, ifyou must know...
241
00:14:12,516 --> 00:14:14,450
I'm getting together
with your friend Jane.
242
00:14:14,518 --> 00:14:18,716
You know,justJane and me hangin' out,
bein' friends. Unless that bothers you.
243
00:14:18,789 --> 00:14:22,691
No, I think it's awesome.
Have fun.
244
00:14:31,902 --> 00:14:33,836
[ Line Ringing ]
245
00:14:33,904 --> 00:14:35,997
- [ Pete] Speak to me.
- Pete, it's Greg.
246
00:14:36,073 --> 00:14:38,906
- Hey, what's up?
- Well, your brilliant plan backfired.
247
00:14:38,976 --> 00:14:43,072
Now I actually have to hang out with freaky
Jane or Dharma's gonna find out that-
248
00:14:43,147 --> 00:14:47,607
Ha, ha! I'm not in. Leave a message,
then get outta the gene pool, ya idiot!
249
00:14:47,685 --> 00:14:50,677
[ Machine Beeps ]
250
00:14:50,888 --> 00:14:54,483
[SingingSoftly]
251
00:15:06,270 --> 00:15:08,238
[Knocking]
252
00:15:08,305 --> 00:15:10,296
Ah, stay!
253
00:15:15,312 --> 00:15:17,246
Hi,Jane.
I was just wonderin' if-
254
00:15:17,314 --> 00:15:19,578
Quick! Inside.
Anybody follow you?
255
00:15:19,650 --> 00:15:22,210
- No, why?
- No reason.
256
00:15:22,286 --> 00:15:25,847
Just screwin' with ya.
What doya want?
257
00:15:25,923 --> 00:15:28,255
I was just thinkin', uh...
258
00:15:28,325 --> 00:15:32,091
you and me could, you know,
hang out and get to know each other.
259
00:15:32,163 --> 00:15:34,358
Cool. Hey, everybody.
260
00:15:34,431 --> 00:15:37,798
- This is Greg. He's a cop.
- I'm not a cop.
261
00:15:37,868 --> 00:15:39,802
He wants to hang out with us.
262
00:15:39,870 --> 00:15:43,636
[ Singing ]
263
00:15:43,707 --> 00:15:46,141
I'm not a cop.
264
00:15:50,548 --> 00:15:54,848
- We're all cops here.
- Is that so?
265
00:15:54,919 --> 00:15:56,910
Don't be scared.
266
00:16:00,991 --> 00:16:02,822
I'm not scared.
267
00:16:02,893 --> 00:16:05,885
[ Singing Continues ]
268
00:16:11,302 --> 00:16:15,170
- Hey, hey, hey.
- [ Singing Stops ]
269
00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:19,604
Hey, guys.
Maybe Greg wants to play our game.
270
00:16:19,677 --> 00:16:21,975
Oh, no, no, no, that's okay.
271
00:16:22,046 --> 00:16:25,413
I'll just, uh-
You guys play. I'll watch.
272
00:16:26,817 --> 00:16:30,014
[ Chuckles ]
He wants to be the watcher?
273
00:16:31,622 --> 00:16:35,820
No one's evervolunteered
to be the watcher.
274
00:16:37,261 --> 00:16:40,526
Well, I meant that I'll, uh-
I won't participate.
275
00:16:40,598 --> 00:16:43,123
The watcher does not speak!
276
00:16:44,235 --> 00:16:46,203
Okay. No speaking.
277
00:16:46,270 --> 00:16:48,067
Okay, let's start.
278
00:16:48,138 --> 00:16:52,438
Everybody, think a number
and lick the watcher's face.
279
00:16:52,509 --> 00:16:56,309
No, no, no.
No licking the watcher's face.
280
00:17:00,217 --> 00:17:03,653
Hi, I'm Dick Clark.
281
00:17:03,721 --> 00:17:06,246
Oh, hi. Listen,
you don't wanna come in here.
282
00:17:06,323 --> 00:17:08,382
It's just, uh-
Don't come in here.
283
00:17:08,459 --> 00:17:11,724
Oh, you must be the watcher.
284
00:17:15,165 --> 00:17:18,134
[Woman Singing]
285
00:17:20,170 --> 00:17:22,104
[SingingStops ]
286
00:17:22,172 --> 00:17:24,436
Oh, dear God.
What are they doing now?
287
00:17:24,508 --> 00:17:29,411
Well, as I understand it, they're using
smoke and noise to drive away the ducks.
288
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:33,473
[Radio: Soul]
289
00:17:38,756 --> 00:17:41,281
Okay, Larry, I'm gonna spend
the night with the ducks.
290
00:17:41,358 --> 00:17:43,349
Good luck, honey!
291
00:17:43,427 --> 00:17:46,624
Please tell me
that's not what I think it is.
292
00:17:46,697 --> 00:17:50,599
Hey, ifyou smelled barbecued people,
would you stick around?
293
00:17:55,239 --> 00:17:57,332
Dharma, I don't know
quite how to say this...
294
00:17:57,408 --> 00:18:00,275
but we're thinking about dropping Greg
from the poker game.
295
00:18:02,112 --> 00:18:04,103
Why?
296
00:18:04,181 --> 00:18:09,118
Well, we were all hoping the game could
evolve into more ofa discussion group.
297
00:18:09,186 --> 00:18:12,451
But every time we touch
on anything real or meaningful...
298
00:18:12,523 --> 00:18:15,788
bam, Greg just-
he puts up thewalls.
299
00:18:15,859 --> 00:18:19,522
Well, you guys, that's just because
he doesn't knowyou like I do.
300
00:18:19,596 --> 00:18:21,621
I thinkyou should
give him more time.
301
00:18:21,699 --> 00:18:25,100
I agreewith Dharma.
I don't thinkwe're being fairto Greg.
302
00:18:28,205 --> 00:18:30,298
Okay, listen.
I'm trying to be okaywith this...
303
00:18:30,374 --> 00:18:33,172
but this is just
totallyweird and wrong...
304
00:18:33,243 --> 00:18:36,041
and weird and
that's all I have to say.
305
00:18:36,113 --> 00:18:39,173
- Bam, walls.
- Honey.
306
00:18:39,249 --> 00:18:41,308
What is going on?
307
00:18:41,385 --> 00:18:45,344
- Dharma, you ruined my poker buddies.
- How?
308
00:18:45,422 --> 00:18:49,358
They're all "touchy-feely."
309
00:18:49,426 --> 00:18:52,554
But that's good. Honey, you've learned
more about them in the last week...
310
00:18:52,629 --> 00:18:55,189
than you have in all the years
you've been playing pokerwith them.
311
00:18:55,265 --> 00:18:58,996
That's how you ruined it. Once a week I like
to sit down with guys I don't really know...
312
00:18:59,069 --> 00:19:02,527
and talk about things
I don't really care about.
313
00:19:02,606 --> 00:19:04,904
- You like it that way?
- Yes.
314
00:19:04,975 --> 00:19:09,036
Doyou know how long it took
to find five insensitive guys in California?
315
00:19:09,113 --> 00:19:11,445
We had to bring Stuart in
from Chicago!
316
00:19:12,583 --> 00:19:15,677
I didn't understand.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
317
00:19:15,753 --> 00:19:19,348
Well, it's a little late for that now.
Look at 'em.
318
00:19:25,396 --> 00:19:29,332
Well, look on the bright side. You get to spend
more time with your new friend,Jane.
319
00:19:41,545 --> 00:19:43,945
Hi, honey. You're home.
How was your day?
320
00:19:44,014 --> 00:19:46,414
Uh, fine.
Dharma, who are they?
321
00:19:46,483 --> 00:19:51,944
These areyournewpoker-playing buddies
and I promise not to ruin them. Bye.
322
00:19:53,490 --> 00:19:55,651
Go, go, go.
323
00:19:57,661 --> 00:19:59,595
Hey, guys, what's up?
324
00:19:59,663 --> 00:20:01,995
- Hey.
- How ya doin'?
325
00:20:02,065 --> 00:20:06,764
- Sit down. Play a hand.
- Uh, let me askyou a question.
326
00:20:06,837 --> 00:20:09,931
TV's broken, you only have
a choice between two channels.
327
00:20:10,007 --> 00:20:13,101
Women's golf, women's bowling.
What doyou do?
328
00:20:14,678 --> 00:20:17,340
- Take a nap!
- Deal me in!
329
00:20:18,715 --> 00:20:21,548
- What's the game?
- [Man ]All right.Jacks orbetter-
330
00:20:21,618 --> 00:20:24,485
Larry, I've tried everything,
and I can't get rid of these ducks.
331
00:20:24,555 --> 00:20:28,116
They've decided to make this backyard
their mating area.
332
00:20:28,192 --> 00:20:31,684
Huh. What would happen...
333
00:20:31,762 --> 00:20:35,027
if some other animals
started mating here?
334
00:20:37,034 --> 00:20:41,266
Most likely they'd see it as competition
for resources and leave.
335
00:20:41,338 --> 00:20:43,329
Huh.
336
00:20:45,576 --> 00:20:47,544
Edward,
what areyou looking at?
337
00:20:47,611 --> 00:20:50,546
- The ducks are gone.
- Oh, good.
338
00:20:50,614 --> 00:20:52,309
Oh!
339
00:20:52,382 --> 00:20:55,215
Oh, Lord, I can't-
340
00:21:16,373 --> 00:21:18,307
It's 4 to 6 Foot!
27783
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