All language subtitles for Dharma.and.greg.S01E15.DVDRip FoV.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil) Download
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000 www.tvsubtitles.net 2 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:05,062 Okay, the doctor said this is gonna makeyou feel a whole lot better. 3 00:00:05,138 --> 00:00:07,436 [ Blows Nose ] 4 00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:09,668 - What is it? - Well, you gotyour chai hu... 5 00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:11,768 you gotyour sheng jiang... 6 00:00:11,845 --> 00:00:14,109 and you got a little tree fungus. 7 00:00:14,180 --> 00:00:17,206 Or maybe it's a bug. I don't know. 8 00:00:17,283 --> 00:00:20,275 - I'm sorry. My doctor said this? - No, mine said this. 9 00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:23,413 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Okay. Trying to swim. Trying to swim. 10 00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:25,549 Ah! 11 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,685 Okay, you live there now. 12 00:00:31,131 --> 00:00:33,292 Dharma, I don't want something from a cauldron. 13 00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:35,926 - I want something from a store. - Honey. 14 00:00:36,002 --> 00:00:38,994 I know what I'm doing. Nowyou put this crystal around your neck. 15 00:00:39,072 --> 00:00:41,302 - You go lie down. - [ Groans ] 16 00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:46,542 Oh, yeah. This'll do it. [ Chuckles ] 17 00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:51,312 Okay. Got the golden seal, the echinacea and the garlic paste. 18 00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:54,876 - Did you get the leeches? - You're kidding. 19 00:00:54,954 --> 00:00:57,047 Maybe. Now put the crystal back on. 20 00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:01,460 Hey, snot boy, you feeling any better? 21 00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:03,587 No. 22 00:01:03,663 --> 00:01:05,722 - Want to? - What are you talking about? 23 00:01:05,799 --> 00:01:08,597 On myway back from the health food store, I made a quick stop on Earth... 24 00:01:08,668 --> 00:01:11,364 and picked up something you might be interested in. 25 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,604 What'd you get? What'd you get? 26 00:01:14,674 --> 00:01:17,438 Nighttime sniffling, sneezing, aching, fever... 27 00:01:17,510 --> 00:01:20,308 so-you-don't-wake-up-for-three-days medicine. 28 00:01:20,380 --> 00:01:23,508 - Gimme! - Not so fast. Fifty bucks. 29 00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,642 Fifty bucks? It only cost you, like, eight dollars. 30 00:01:25,718 --> 00:01:28,118 Eight for the green stuff, 42 not to tell Dharma. 31 00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:32,352 - Not to tell Dharma what? - Nothing. I'll writeyou a check. 32 00:01:52,545 --> 00:01:55,571 Any other drugs you're addicted to that I should know about? 33 00:01:55,648 --> 00:01:58,310 - No. - [Knocking] 34 00:01:58,384 --> 00:02:00,818 Don't buy any more ofthis stufffrom Jane. 35 00:02:00,887 --> 00:02:03,253 It doesn't do anything. It just makes you feel better. 36 00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:06,891 [ Whining ] That's what I want. 37 00:02:08,495 --> 00:02:10,554 Hi. Does Dharma Finkelstein still live here? 38 00:02:10,630 --> 00:02:13,098 Maybe. Got any nose spray? 39 00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:16,602 That stuffwon't do anything foryou. It'll just makeyou feel better. 40 00:02:16,669 --> 00:02:19,797 Dharma, there's a friend ofyours here. 41 00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:25,035 Shut up! 42 00:02:25,111 --> 00:02:28,274 Oh, my God! Leonard! 43 00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:30,908 [ Laughing ] 44 00:02:32,619 --> 00:02:34,746 - When did you get back? - Last night. 45 00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:36,812 - Oh. - Hey, Stinky, Nunzio. 46 00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:40,826 Leonard- Leonard, I want you to meet my husband, Greg. 47 00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:42,828 - You got married? - I know. 48 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:45,228 Wow. Congratulations. Hey, man. 49 00:02:45,298 --> 00:02:48,267 You gotyourselfthe most wonderful woman in the world. 50 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:52,430 Thanks. I know. How do you know? 51 00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:54,439 Oh, Greg, sorry. This is Leonard. 52 00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:56,407 We used to be lovers. 53 00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:00,312 Oh, how nice. I mean- 54 00:03:00,380 --> 00:03:02,905 Not nice, but I guess I already said "nice"... 55 00:03:02,982 --> 00:03:05,815 so we'll go with "nice." 56 00:03:05,885 --> 00:03:07,819 Don't worry, man. It's ancient history. 57 00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:09,821 Oh, I'm not worried. 58 00:03:09,889 --> 00:03:12,255 Since you bring it up, I studied ancient history at Harvard... 59 00:03:12,325 --> 00:03:14,452 before I went to... 60 00:03:15,562 --> 00:03:18,690 Stanford and then became a U.S. attorney. 61 00:03:19,966 --> 00:03:21,900 Honey, why areyou standing on your tippy toes? 62 00:03:28,074 --> 00:03:31,271 Hey, would you mind ifl tried something on you I learned in India? 63 00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:34,006 - What? -Just relax. 64 00:03:38,351 --> 00:03:40,285 Oh, yeah. Here's the problem. 65 00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:43,413 Wow. Hang on a second. You're under a lot of stress, aren't you? 66 00:03:43,489 --> 00:03:45,480 And it's increasing. 67 00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,994 Okay, now take a deep breath. 68 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,996 - I can't. [ Coughs ] - Try anyway. 69 00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:55,524 [ Exhales ] 70 00:03:57,537 --> 00:04:00,301 [ Laughing ] Hey! Where'd the snot go? 71 00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:05,969 It's only temporary. You have to follow that up with some tea of chai hu. 72 00:04:06,045 --> 00:04:08,912 - Maybe a little sheng jiang. - Sheng jiang. Got that covered. 73 00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:12,679 - Dharma, you look great. - Oh, God. So doyou. 74 00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:15,050 This is my, uh, sick bathrobe. 75 00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:19,424 - Hey, doyou want something to drink? - Got any beet juice? 76 00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:21,926 Just made some this morning. God. 77 00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:25,021 Some cosmic way, I must have "knew" you were coming. 78 00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,464 [ Chuckles ] Could have warned me. 79 00:04:28,534 --> 00:04:30,661 So, how was India? 80 00:04:30,737 --> 00:04:33,570 I can't even describe- It just changed my entire perspective. 81 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,074 I got to the point where I could fast for an entire month. 82 00:04:36,142 --> 00:04:39,669 A whole month with no food and no sex? 83 00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:42,510 - How'd you know he didn't have sex? - He took a vow of celibacy. 84 00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:44,550 Celibacy? Oh, that's great. 85 00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,551 I mean- 86 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,553 Not great foryou, but great for- 87 00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,885 Well, we'll just go with great. 88 00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,891 So how long haveyou been celibate? 89 00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,984 Since the last time we- 90 00:04:56,062 --> 00:04:58,860 I was your last? Aw. 91 00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:00,865 Aw. 92 00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:05,894 That must have been at least a year ago. 93 00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:09,237 Ha. We did it last night. 94 00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:16,306 - So areyou back for good, or- - Or for evil? 95 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,251 Yeah, I'm back for good. 96 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:21,253 I'm gonna teach some ofthe meditation techniques I've learned. 97 00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:24,586 - Make a couple ofbucks, huh? - No. No, all the money goes to free Tibet. 98 00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:26,784 Oh. I know whatyou mean about giving something back. 99 00:05:26,859 --> 00:05:29,419 - I'm a big brother myself. - Really? Since when? 100 00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:31,656 I'm on the waiting list, okay? 101 00:05:31,731 --> 00:05:33,665 So where areyou staying? 102 00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:35,792 I'm just gonna stay in a hostel until I find a place. 103 00:05:35,868 --> 00:05:38,098 Oh, don't do that. Don't waste all that money. Stay here. 104 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,662 We'll fix up the couch. Right, Greg? 105 00:05:40,740 --> 00:05:42,799 - Sure. - Yeah. 106 00:05:42,875 --> 00:05:45,241 Unless you want me to hammeryou a bed of nails. 107 00:05:45,311 --> 00:05:47,279 Very funny. 108 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,781 Really? Wasn't supposed to be. 109 00:05:51,684 --> 00:05:54,118 Greg, I know this must be really uncomfortable foryou... 110 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:57,554 but I reallywant to thankyou for making Leonard feel so welcome. 111 00:05:57,623 --> 00:05:59,614 Hey, we'll all grown-ups. No problem. 112 00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:03,219 You know, I think I'm feeling better. 113 00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:05,264 - Really? - [ Sneezes ] 114 00:06:06,999 --> 00:06:09,126 Honey, I don't think you're up for this. 115 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,295 [ Congested ] I am ready for love. 116 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,601 [ Laughs ] "Lub"? What's "lub"? 117 00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:16,233 Lub, lub! Hot, monkey lub! 118 00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:18,834 - Greg, stop it. You're scaring me. - [ Coughing ] 119 00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:22,107 Honey? Tell the truth. 120 00:06:22,181 --> 00:06:26,584 Doyou want to have sex just because Leonard's downstairs? 121 00:06:26,652 --> 00:06:28,643 I want to have sex because I loveyou. 122 00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:31,918 I want it to be loud because Leonard's downstairs. 123 00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:34,425 Actually, you know what I was thinking? 124 00:06:34,494 --> 00:06:37,691 I was thinking about us trying celibacy for a while. 125 00:06:41,601 --> 00:06:43,535 What? 126 00:06:43,603 --> 00:06:46,197 Well, I mean, we have sex every day. 127 00:06:46,272 --> 00:06:48,570 Ha. Why didn'tyou mention that downstairs? 128 00:06:48,641 --> 00:06:51,610 Honey, I think our sex life is wonderful, but think of- 129 00:06:51,677 --> 00:06:53,804 Think ofall that energy that we could be... 130 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,178 putting into other areas of our relationship. 131 00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,649 What other areas? Oops. That's the wrong question, isn't it? 132 00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:02,211 I'm just talking about a few weeks. 133 00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:06,156 We could explore each other on a much more intimate spiritual level. 134 00:07:06,225 --> 00:07:09,888 You mean like talking? Oops. Did it again. 135 00:07:09,962 --> 00:07:11,930 Fine. We'll just keep having sex. 136 00:07:11,998 --> 00:07:13,932 How did that become a bad thing? 137 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,934 Nothing. I just thought we'd try something new... 138 00:07:16,002 --> 00:07:18,061 but maybe it's just more ofa Leonard thing. 139 00:07:18,137 --> 00:07:22,073 Anything that Leonard can not do, I can not do. 140 00:07:22,141 --> 00:07:24,132 Thankyou. I loveyou. 141 00:07:24,210 --> 00:07:26,144 - Good night. - Yeah. 142 00:07:26,212 --> 00:07:28,339 [ Groans ] 143 00:07:32,985 --> 00:07:34,976 Oh, God. 144 00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:39,082 Okay, okay, so let me get this straight. 145 00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:41,422 - She's convinced you to be celibate. - Yeah. 146 00:07:41,494 --> 00:07:43,689 - While she's at home with the old boyfriend. - Right. 147 00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:45,788 Who hasn't had sex in a year. 148 00:07:45,865 --> 00:07:48,663 - What's your point, Pete? - My point? 149 00:07:48,734 --> 00:07:52,067 My point is, I lost two grand on the Super Bowl... 150 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,436 my cat has the runs... 151 00:07:54,507 --> 00:07:57,271 yet my life is better than yours. 152 00:08:00,346 --> 00:08:02,610 They broke up when he left for India. 153 00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:05,981 They even had a parting ceremony. 154 00:08:06,052 --> 00:08:09,351 "A parting ceremony"? What the hell's a parting ceremony? 155 00:08:09,422 --> 00:08:11,356 A ceremony. 156 00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:13,824 A spiritual ceremony where two souls... 157 00:08:13,893 --> 00:08:15,986 going on different paths... 158 00:08:16,062 --> 00:08:19,395 rejoice and then... 159 00:08:19,465 --> 00:08:21,399 part. 160 00:08:21,467 --> 00:08:25,164 So basically, theywere boffing the whole way to the Greyhound station, huh? 161 00:08:27,306 --> 00:08:31,333 Don't screw with me, buddy. I'm living on stinky tea and I'm celibate. 162 00:08:32,778 --> 00:08:34,769 Mr. Montgomery, yourwife's on line one. 163 00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:37,008 Marlene, do something here. 164 00:08:40,653 --> 00:08:43,588 - Will that be all? - Yeah. Thanks, Marlene. 165 00:08:44,657 --> 00:08:46,648 - Hi, honey. - [ Dharma ] Areyou busy? 166 00:08:46,726 --> 00:08:48,751 No, I'm just in a little meeting with Pete. 167 00:08:48,828 --> 00:08:51,854 He's insane. Sleep with him. 168 00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:54,729 - What did he say? - [ Greg ] He wants you to sleep with me. 169 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,200 Aw. Oh, that's so sweet. Listen. 170 00:08:58,504 --> 00:09:00,438 Leonard and I are over atyour folks'... 171 00:09:00,506 --> 00:09:02,440 and my folks are here, and Jane... 172 00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:05,238 and we're hoping that when you're doneyou can come join us. 173 00:09:05,311 --> 00:09:08,007 - Leonard is at my parents' house? - Mm-hmm. 174 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,241 - Dharma. - Hold on one sec. Your mom wants to talk to you. 175 00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:12,250 - Hang on. - [ Chuckles ] 176 00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:14,252 Gregory? Darling? Oh, you must come over. 177 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,254 Leonard is telling the most delicious stories... 178 00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:18,256 about his travels through the Orient. 179 00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:21,418 - Mother, doyou realize who Leonard is? - Yes, yes, yes, yes. 180 00:09:21,494 --> 00:09:23,758 It's Dharma's old boyfriend. But they had a parting ceremony. 181 00:09:23,829 --> 00:09:26,354 It's over. He's charming. Now hurry. 182 00:09:26,432 --> 00:09:28,798 [ Dial Tone ] 183 00:09:30,803 --> 00:09:33,033 I could have a mysterious burning sensation... 184 00:09:33,105 --> 00:09:35,972 and my life would still be better than yours. 185 00:09:37,977 --> 00:09:40,571 You're coming with me. 186 00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:44,307 So I'm in Nepal, and I'm driving this monk back to his monastery. 187 00:09:44,383 --> 00:09:47,784 I have no idea where it is, and he's taken a vow ofsilence. 188 00:09:47,853 --> 00:09:50,947 - No! Sowhat did you do? - [ Laughing ] 189 00:09:51,023 --> 00:09:53,924 Hewound up staying with me for six months. 190 00:09:53,993 --> 00:09:57,895 - And talked in his sleep every night. - [ Laughs ] 191 00:09:57,964 --> 00:10:00,228 - [Kitty] Isn't that fiunny? - Hi, everybody. 192 00:10:00,299 --> 00:10:02,995 - Hey, Greg. - Hello, Gregory. Go on, Leonard. Go on. 193 00:10:07,506 --> 00:10:10,236 Dharma, what's... everybody doing here? 194 00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:12,504 Well, Leonard was hanging out with my folks- 195 00:10:12,578 --> 00:10:14,876 - Oh, your folks like Leonard? - Oh, they love him. 196 00:10:14,947 --> 00:10:17,780 They love him. That's nice. 197 00:10:17,850 --> 00:10:19,977 Anyway, theywere all talking about how hard it is... 198 00:10:20,052 --> 00:10:22,577 for my folks to get along with your folks... 199 00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:24,646 so Leonard suggested we get them all together... 200 00:10:24,724 --> 00:10:27,955 and next thing you know, Larry and Edward are playing Hacky Sack in the driveway... 201 00:10:28,027 --> 00:10:30,962 and your mom insists we stay for dinner and Pictionary. 202 00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:33,362 My-They get together all the time. 203 00:10:33,432 --> 00:10:35,798 There's never Hacky Sack. There's never Pictionary. 204 00:10:35,868 --> 00:10:39,065 I know. Weirdest thing. 205 00:10:39,138 --> 00:10:41,368 That kindofistuffialways happens when Leonard's around. 206 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,601 J ust something about him. 207 00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:49,007 Who is this man from Nazareth? 208 00:10:54,153 --> 00:10:57,088 So this guru could raise his body temperature at will? 209 00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,488 Yeah, and every time he did it he'd say... 210 00:10:59,558 --> 00:11:01,890 "Is it hot in here, or is itjust me?" 211 00:11:02,962 --> 00:11:06,090 - Uh, Mother? - Yes? What? 212 00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:08,599 Where did he get those pants? 213 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,602 Oh! Oh, oh, oh. 214 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,639 Leonard gave all ofhis clothes awaywhen he was in India to the poor... 215 00:11:13,706 --> 00:11:16,903 and so I was just inspired, and I gave him all your old clothes. 216 00:11:16,976 --> 00:11:19,376 What? Without even asking me? 217 00:11:19,445 --> 00:11:21,970 Gregory, you're so materialistic. 218 00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:27,246 So it's settled? We'll all go camping in Sedona next weekend. 219 00:11:27,319 --> 00:11:29,514 Oh, Larry, I think Greg's working. 220 00:11:29,588 --> 00:11:32,921 Oh, you wanted Greg to come? 221 00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:35,017 Don'tyou think it's a little inappropriate... 222 00:11:35,094 --> 00:11:37,085 having her ex-boyfriend here? [ Chuckles ] 223 00:11:37,163 --> 00:11:40,564 Doyou realize he knows Richard Gere? 224 00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:43,898 Greg, is this difficult foryou? 225 00:11:43,969 --> 00:11:47,427 Oh, you mean Leonard? Oh, no, I'm fine about that. 226 00:11:47,506 --> 00:11:50,100 Oh, good, good, 'cause I wanted to invite him to staywith us... 227 00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:52,440 after he's done staying with your parents. 228 00:11:52,511 --> 00:11:54,843 My parents invited him to stay? 229 00:11:54,914 --> 00:11:58,611 Yeah. I know- That tends to happen around Leonard. 230 00:11:58,684 --> 00:12:01,881 - There's just... something about him. - Something about him. 231 00:12:01,954 --> 00:12:02,886 Gregory., didyou know that Leonard... 232 00:12:02,955 --> 00:12:05,890 broke the scoring record at Notre Dame? 233 00:12:05,958 --> 00:12:08,119 You remember Notre Dame. My old alma mater- 234 00:12:08,194 --> 00:12:10,754 The school that wasn't good enough foryou. 235 00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:17,269 So, I, uh, hearyou're keeping the cobra in the basket, huh? 236 00:12:20,239 --> 00:12:22,264 [ Chuckles ] The celibacy? 237 00:12:22,341 --> 00:12:24,275 - Yeah. - Yeah, I guess you could say that. 238 00:12:24,343 --> 00:12:26,811 Is that, like, a requirement with your religion? 239 00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:28,813 No, it's just a choice. 240 00:12:28,881 --> 00:12:31,145 A lot of us actually believe you can find enlightenment through sex. 241 00:12:31,217 --> 00:12:33,617 In fact, there's a sacred body ofteaching called tantric sex... 242 00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:36,553 which turns love-making into a religious experience. 243 00:12:36,622 --> 00:12:39,455 Talk to me. 244 00:12:39,525 --> 00:12:41,686 Well, it has to do with focusing energy... 245 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:44,229 being in tune with the body and- 246 00:12:44,296 --> 00:12:47,288 Here. Let me showyou. Jane? Can I borrowyou a second? 247 00:12:47,366 --> 00:12:49,334 - Sure. - The body is dotted with pleasure points... 248 00:12:49,401 --> 00:12:51,801 Iike right here, on the inside ofthe elbow. 249 00:12:51,871 --> 00:12:53,771 Just touch it with a little bit of pressure and- 250 00:12:53,839 --> 00:12:55,773 [ Panting ] 251 00:12:55,841 --> 00:12:58,366 It can cause waves and waves of ecstasy. 252 00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:02,013 Thankyou,Jane. 253 00:13:02,081 --> 00:13:04,379 I'm sitting next toyou at dinner. 254 00:13:07,353 --> 00:13:09,753 Teach me, master. 255 00:13:16,395 --> 00:13:19,796 Ah! God, it was such a great night, wasn't it? 256 00:13:19,865 --> 00:13:23,426 I had no idea Leonard was an origami expert. 257 00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:27,429 You didn't let him touch your elbow, did you? 258 00:13:27,506 --> 00:13:30,498 - No. Why? - Never mind. Let's just go to sleep. 259 00:13:32,944 --> 00:13:34,878 - Greg? - What? 260 00:13:38,016 --> 00:13:40,507 I don't wanna be celibate anymore. 261 00:13:41,687 --> 00:13:44,554 He did touch your elbow, didn't he? 262 00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:46,955 - What's wrong with you? - What's wrong with me? 263 00:13:47,025 --> 00:13:49,323 - Yeah. - I'll tell you what's wrong with me. 264 00:13:49,394 --> 00:13:51,328 - I hate Leonard. - Whoa. What? 265 00:13:51,396 --> 00:13:53,489 I hate his inner peace. I hate his celibacy. 266 00:13:53,565 --> 00:13:57,057 I hate his rushing record. I hate the way he looks in my pants. 267 00:14:00,038 --> 00:14:02,734 He looked in your pants? 268 00:14:02,808 --> 00:14:06,244 No, no. He's wearing my old pants. 269 00:14:06,311 --> 00:14:08,370 And I don't want him in our life anymore. 270 00:14:08,447 --> 00:14:10,381 I know it's selfish, I know it's unenlightened... 271 00:14:10,449 --> 00:14:13,941 but I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care. 272 00:14:15,721 --> 00:14:18,383 - Okay. - Okay? 273 00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:21,585 - Mm-hmm. - That's- That's it? 274 00:14:21,660 --> 00:14:23,753 "Okay"? 275 00:14:23,829 --> 00:14:26,798 He's a friend. You are my husband. 276 00:14:26,865 --> 00:14:30,392 And if it's bothering you, we won't have him around anymore. 277 00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:35,367 Wow. Thanks. 278 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:38,967 You're welcome. I'll call him and tell him in the morning. 279 00:14:39,044 --> 00:14:41,069 No, no, no. I'm the one with the problem. 280 00:14:41,146 --> 00:14:43,239 - I'll tell him. - Okay. 281 00:15:02,400 --> 00:15:04,425 Whatyou doin'? 282 00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:08,005 Apparently nothing. 283 00:15:11,643 --> 00:15:12,144 Well, it sounds like everything you're angry about is in the past. 284 00:15:12,144 --> 00:15:14,874 Well, it sounds like everything you're angry about is in the past. 285 00:15:14,946 --> 00:15:17,073 Yeah? So? 286 00:15:17,149 --> 00:15:19,014 So the past doesn't exist anymore... 287 00:15:19,084 --> 00:15:21,211 and there's no point in being anxious about the future... 288 00:15:21,286 --> 00:15:23,277 because that doesn't exist either. 289 00:15:26,391 --> 00:15:28,325 You're right. 290 00:15:28,393 --> 00:15:30,520 What areyou feeling right now? 291 00:15:30,595 --> 00:15:33,086 Oh. 292 00:15:33,165 --> 00:15:35,190 I feel calm... 293 00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:37,599 and serene- 294 00:15:37,669 --> 00:15:39,933 And love. 295 00:15:40,005 --> 00:15:42,473 I feel all this love foryou. 296 00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:44,600 I feel love foryou too, Marlene. 297 00:15:44,676 --> 00:15:47,839 - Marlene? - Not now, damn it! 298 00:15:47,913 --> 00:15:49,574 Hey, Greg, Pete. 299 00:15:49,648 --> 00:15:51,639 Leonard, what areyou doing here? 300 00:15:51,716 --> 00:15:53,809 What are you doing here? 301 00:15:55,620 --> 00:15:58,453 I was wondering ifyou guys wanted to see the Bulls play the Warriors tonight. 302 00:15:58,523 --> 00:16:00,616 You've got seats for that game? 303 00:16:00,692 --> 00:16:03,388 No, not really. Phil Jackson asked me to do a meditation workshop... 304 00:16:03,461 --> 00:16:05,429 with the Bulls, so we'll have to sit on the bench. 305 00:16:05,497 --> 00:16:07,294 - The bench? The bench with the Chicago Bulls on it? - Uh-huh. 306 00:16:07,365 --> 00:16:09,162 The Michael Jordan Chicago Bulls? 307 00:16:09,234 --> 00:16:11,099 Yeah, I guess. So what doyou say? 308 00:16:13,672 --> 00:16:15,663 Love to. 309 00:16:15,740 --> 00:16:18,300 Come on, Leonard. Let's go get my coat. 310 00:16:24,316 --> 00:16:26,614 So how sleazy doyou feel right now? 311 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,447 Ask me at halftime. 312 00:16:31,990 --> 00:16:35,084 What doyou mean, we can't see Leonard anymore? 313 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,424 It just- It's really awkward for Greg. 314 00:16:37,495 --> 00:16:40,396 - Well, can't we see him on our own? - Abby, come on. 315 00:16:40,465 --> 00:16:44,561 What ifGreg and I just showed up one day and Leonard was there? 316 00:16:44,636 --> 00:16:48,094 Well, maybeyou should start calling beforeyou come over. 317 00:16:48,173 --> 00:16:50,300 [Knocking] 318 00:16:51,376 --> 00:16:53,310 [ Sighs, Groans ] 319 00:16:53,378 --> 00:16:56,438 - Hello. - Hello. 320 00:16:56,514 --> 00:16:59,176 Oh. Where's Leonard? 321 00:16:59,251 --> 00:17:01,776 He's not staying here anymore. I thought he was staying with you. 322 00:17:01,853 --> 00:17:04,822 Oh, yes, but he didn't come home to dinner, so I thought he might be over here. 323 00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:07,415 Actually, I made him a little something. 324 00:17:07,492 --> 00:17:09,084 - You cooked? - Well- 325 00:17:09,160 --> 00:17:11,151 I know he's a vegetarian, so I just whipped up... 326 00:17:11,229 --> 00:17:14,096 a lettuce, tomato and avocado sandwich. 327 00:17:14,165 --> 00:17:16,463 It took her an hour and a half. 328 00:17:18,536 --> 00:17:21,437 We're not allowed to see Leonard anymore. 329 00:17:21,506 --> 00:17:23,474 What? Whynot? 330 00:17:23,541 --> 00:17:27,671 Apparentlyyour son is uncomfortable with having him around. 331 00:17:27,746 --> 00:17:29,907 Hi. 332 00:17:29,981 --> 00:17:32,541 Thought I heard someone come up the elevator. 333 00:17:32,617 --> 00:17:36,348 I told you,Janie, he's not coming back. 334 00:17:36,421 --> 00:17:39,015 Oh. Well, I'll wait anyway. 335 00:17:39,090 --> 00:17:41,081 - Yeah. - We'll-We'll-We'll wait too. 336 00:17:43,995 --> 00:17:46,987 Fine, but I think you're wasting your time. 337 00:17:47,065 --> 00:17:49,033 Plus, you know what? 338 00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:52,035 I reallythinkyou should respect Greg's decision on this. 339 00:17:52,103 --> 00:17:54,094 I mean, it's got to be really difficult... 340 00:17:54,172 --> 00:17:56,231 for him to hang out with my ex-boyfriend. 341 00:17:56,308 --> 00:17:58,299 - I can see that. - Well, all right. 342 00:17:58,376 --> 00:18:00,606 Ifl can't play catch with Lenny... 343 00:18:00,679 --> 00:18:02,909 - there's no point in sticking around. - Hey! Why don'tyou... 344 00:18:02,981 --> 00:18:06,417 stick around for Greg and tell him how much you need him when he comes home? 345 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:10,854 Oh, well. 346 00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:14,157 Thankyou. I'm sure he'll be home any minute. 347 00:18:14,225 --> 00:18:16,716 - [TV Announcer] Not a bad basketball game. - Oh, look. 348 00:18:16,795 --> 00:18:18,990 - There's Leonard. - Where? 349 00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:20,998 Right next to Greg. 350 00:18:21,066 --> 00:18:23,796 [Announcer Continues, Indistinct ] 351 00:18:23,868 --> 00:18:26,701 Who's the bimbo sitting next to Leonard? 352 00:18:27,772 --> 00:18:29,637 [ Whistle Blows ] 353 00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:32,233 ...out of bounds. The guy over there in the rich seats caught it. 354 00:18:32,310 --> 00:18:35,404 What's he gonna do with it? He's gonna give it to Michael. 355 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,471 [ Continues, Indistinct ] 356 00:18:38,683 --> 00:18:41,083 He throws it- [ Indistinct ] 357 00:18:49,861 --> 00:18:53,297 Okay. So, uh, we'll just turn out all the lights... 358 00:18:53,365 --> 00:18:55,390 and then when he comes home, we'll yell, "Surprise!" 359 00:18:55,467 --> 00:18:57,458 Then we'll just beat the crap out ofhim. 360 00:19:03,875 --> 00:19:06,207 Oh. Hey, company. 361 00:19:06,277 --> 00:19:09,371 - Hey, everybody. What's going on? - Not much. Whereyou been? 362 00:19:09,447 --> 00:19:13,474 - Uh, went to see a basketball game with Pete. - Anyone else? 363 00:19:13,551 --> 00:19:15,485 - Uh, yeah. Marlene. - Aha! 364 00:19:15,553 --> 00:19:17,885 Notyet, Finkelstein. 365 00:19:19,457 --> 00:19:21,891 So what's this all about? Why is everybody here? 366 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:25,828 Dharma has informed us that Leonard is persona non grata. 367 00:19:25,897 --> 00:19:29,594 What is this you're trying to pull, Gregory? 368 00:19:29,667 --> 00:19:31,726 I know what he's trying to pull. 369 00:19:31,803 --> 00:19:34,465 He's just bogarting Leonard. 370 00:19:35,740 --> 00:19:37,674 Bogarter. 371 00:19:40,979 --> 00:19:43,709 Leonard made me feel like a woman. 372 00:19:45,383 --> 00:19:47,044 - We sawyou at the game, Greg. - What? 373 00:19:47,118 --> 00:19:49,109 Wh-What areyou talking about? 374 00:19:49,187 --> 00:19:53,317 - You were on TV. -Just me? 375 00:19:53,391 --> 00:19:58,192 No. You and Leonard. 376 00:19:58,263 --> 00:20:00,993 Me and... Leonard? [ Laughs ] 377 00:20:01,066 --> 00:20:03,261 They showed the bench a lot, Greg. 378 00:20:03,334 --> 00:20:06,201 You should have thought about that beforeyou cheated on us. 379 00:20:08,006 --> 00:20:10,804 I couldn't help myself. It was the Chicago Bulls. 380 00:20:10,875 --> 00:20:13,036 Michael Jordan high-fived me! 381 00:20:13,111 --> 00:20:16,877 Actually, I missed his hand, and he hit me in the head. B-But still- 382 00:20:16,948 --> 00:20:19,746 Let's go, Edward. Let's take Leonard his dinner. 383 00:20:21,853 --> 00:20:25,414 We'll go with you. I knitted him an Afghan. It's in the van. 384 00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:29,620 Wait for me. I just have to throw on a short-sleeved shirt. 385 00:20:29,694 --> 00:20:31,958 [DoorCloses ] 386 00:20:33,031 --> 00:20:36,023 How... angry areyou? 387 00:20:36,101 --> 00:20:38,729 Well, I'm angry thatyou lied... 388 00:20:38,803 --> 00:20:42,295 but I'm really angry thatyou thought that I wouldn't understand... 389 00:20:42,373 --> 00:20:44,466 aboutyou changing your mind about Leonard. 390 00:20:44,542 --> 00:20:48,103 Greg, change is a good thing. 391 00:20:48,179 --> 00:20:51,114 I-Itshows thatyou're not bound toyourfiormerselfi. 392 00:20:51,182 --> 00:20:53,116 It shows that you're capable of growth... 393 00:20:53,184 --> 00:20:55,118 which is why I love you so much. 394 00:20:55,186 --> 00:20:58,314 Which is why I want to spend the rest of my life with you. 395 00:20:59,390 --> 00:21:01,324 Wow. 396 00:21:01,392 --> 00:21:03,724 Okay, that's incredible, 'cause the way I see it... 397 00:21:03,795 --> 00:21:07,253 I was too shallow and insecure to let this guy be a part of our lives... 398 00:21:07,332 --> 00:21:09,926 and then when he had something I wanted, I snuck around behind your back... 399 00:21:10,001 --> 00:21:13,232 and when you caught me, I lied like a little weasel. 400 00:21:15,039 --> 00:21:17,064 You know, when you put it that way, you really do suck. 401 00:21:18,676 --> 00:21:20,610 Dharma, wait! 402 00:21:24,682 --> 00:21:26,741 - [Knocks ] - Okay, make-up sex. 403 00:21:28,820 --> 00:21:30,811 I thought we were celibate. 404 00:21:30,889 --> 00:21:33,915 When are you gonna learn to shut up? 405 00:22:01,319 --> 00:22:03,253 It's 4 to 6 Foot! 32137

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.