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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000 www.tvsubtitles.net 2 00:00:01,868 --> 00:00:03,995 [Puffs] 3 00:00:04,070 --> 00:00:06,038 Well, lookwho's smoking. Must be Christmas. 4 00:00:06,106 --> 00:00:08,574 Gregory, I am a wreck. I am absolutely a wreck. 5 00:00:08,641 --> 00:00:11,633 Yourfather has that infernal train set out... 6 00:00:11,711 --> 00:00:14,441 and your delightful cousin Jennifer is here, and then to top it all off... 7 00:00:14,514 --> 00:00:18,917 the maid seems to have switched to menthol- aah! 8 00:00:18,985 --> 00:00:22,546 - Mother, haveyou lost weight? - [ Sighs ] Oh, Gregory, please, that won't work. 9 00:00:22,622 --> 00:00:27,252 - No, I'm-I'm serious. - Well, maybe I have. 10 00:00:27,327 --> 00:00:31,730 Do I look a little- Could be. Come in. Come in. 11 00:00:31,798 --> 00:00:35,564 I don't playwith trains, Uncle Edward. I'm not five. 12 00:00:35,635 --> 00:00:37,933 Suityourself, little lady. Here we go. 13 00:00:38,004 --> 00:00:41,371 [ Chuckling ] Whoo, whoo, whoo! 14 00:00:41,441 --> 00:00:43,773 Jennifer, dear, lookwho's here! Your cousin, Gregory. 15 00:00:45,311 --> 00:00:47,245 So, uh,Jennifer, how haveyou been? 16 00:00:47,313 --> 00:00:50,077 Just dandy. 17 00:00:50,150 --> 00:00:52,641 Hey, I got, uh, married since I last sawyou. 18 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,381 Huh. I always thoughtyou were gay. 19 00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,860 - Well, now, why don'tyou two just catch up? - [ Clears Throat ] 20 00:01:00,927 --> 00:01:04,124 Oh, and, Gregory, so thatyou don't tread over ground that we've already covered... 21 00:01:04,197 --> 00:01:09,499 uh, school bites, Christmas bites, oh, and the sugar cookies over there bite the big one. 22 00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:14,268 - [ Chuckles ] - So, I heard your mother got married again. 23 00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:18,504 She's on her honeymoon with a rich old guywho's been clinically dead twice. 24 00:01:18,578 --> 00:01:22,275 Somebody's got a new daddy. [ Chuckles ] 25 00:01:22,348 --> 00:01:25,579 [Dharma ] Hey, every.body, look outside! 26 00:01:25,652 --> 00:01:28,212 [Kitty] Oh, Lord. 27 00:01:29,489 --> 00:01:33,619 Fa la, la, la Fa la, la, la 28 00:01:33,693 --> 00:01:39,325 - Hey, hey, hey Merry. Christmas - That's my wife. 29 00:01:39,399 --> 00:01:45,099 - The one with the antlers. - Fa la, la, la, hey, hey, hey 30 00:01:45,171 --> 00:01:50,609 - [ Larry ] Happy Hanukkah - Did I mention she might bring friends over? 31 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,907 No, I don't believe you did, Gregory. 32 00:01:52,979 --> 00:01:56,710 - Hey, hey, hey - Can we useyour bathroom? 33 00:01:58,184 --> 00:02:01,312 [ Singing Continues ] 34 00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:20,837 Here's a cookie. Merry Christmas. 35 00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:23,603 Here's a cookie. Merry Christmas. Here's a- 36 00:02:23,676 --> 00:02:25,644 Oh, oh, oh, sir, you dropped your glove. 37 00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:29,011 I wouldn't wantyou to have to come back. 38 00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:31,175 So wereyou surprised when we showed up? 39 00:02:31,251 --> 00:02:33,947 - Not as surprised as my mother. - I know. 40 00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:36,113 For a while there I didn't think she was gonna let us in. 41 00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:38,885 That's because, for a while there, she wasn't. 42 00:02:38,958 --> 00:02:42,826 Thanks for the nog, man, and have a joyous holiday ofyour choosing... 43 00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:46,855 ifindeed you choose to celebrate a holiday at all. 44 00:02:46,933 --> 00:02:50,369 And a Happy New Year, ifyou people believe in calendars. 45 00:02:52,872 --> 00:02:54,897 Kitty, areyou sureyou don't want to come caroling with us? 46 00:02:54,974 --> 00:02:56,771 We're gonna be in your neighborhood for a while. 47 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,777 That's a lovely invitation, Abby... 48 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:02,042 but I don't know any of my neighbors, and I prefer to keep it that way. 49 00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:06,309 Okay. Well, sorry ifwe muddied up your house. 50 00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:09,014 - Butyou did turn the sprinklers on us. - [ Chuckling ] 51 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,151 Uh, Dharma, I'd likeyou to meet my cousin Jennifer. 52 00:03:13,226 --> 00:03:16,662 Oh. Hi. I'm Dharma. 53 00:03:16,729 --> 00:03:19,425 So did you marry Greg for his money? 54 00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:22,696 Ooh, open hostility. [ Chuckles ] 55 00:03:22,769 --> 00:03:26,671 You know, ifyou want to become more sneaky at it,just watch your Aunt Kitty. 56 00:03:29,342 --> 00:03:31,333 Well,Jennifer is staying with us while her mother... 57 00:03:31,411 --> 00:03:34,574 is honeymooning in Bali for 1 0 wonderful days. 58 00:03:34,647 --> 00:03:37,810 - Like this isn't hell on a stick for me. - [ Chuckles ] 59 00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:41,081 Oh, isn't she just a charming cauldron... 60 00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:43,918 of rage and hormones? 61 00:03:43,990 --> 00:03:46,686 Come on, Kitty, you remember 1 6. 62 00:03:46,759 --> 00:03:49,193 You hateyour hair, you hateyour skin... 63 00:03:49,262 --> 00:03:52,425 your parents just moved into a solar-powered sod hut... 64 00:03:52,498 --> 00:03:55,126 and you can't have friends over 'causeyour dad's mowin' the roof. 65 00:03:56,336 --> 00:03:59,169 You know what, Dharma, you are right. 66 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,230 Jennifer should not be stuck here with us. 67 00:04:01,307 --> 00:04:05,334 She should be with some happening young people likeyou and Gregory. 68 00:04:05,411 --> 00:04:08,539 - Dharma didn't say that. - Greg, I think it's a great idea. 69 00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:10,776 She'll have so much more fun with us. 70 00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:13,478 - She didn't saythat either. [ Chuckles ] - Gregory, please. 71 00:04:13,553 --> 00:04:15,487 You would be doing me an enormous favor. 72 00:04:15,555 --> 00:04:18,615 I do not know what to do with a 1 6-year-old, and I already have my hands full. 73 00:04:18,691 --> 00:04:24,323 - What doyou mean, you haveyour hands full? - Hey, Kitty, look! I'm a giant! 74 00:04:26,833 --> 00:04:29,825 Du-du-du-du-du-du- okay! 75 00:04:29,902 --> 00:04:35,465 I know what does not bite. Cheesy movie and dairy-free pizza. 76 00:04:35,541 --> 00:04:38,669 - Nah. - Okay. 77 00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:41,475 Uh- Oh! 78 00:04:41,547 --> 00:04:44,573 Wanna go throw this off the roof? 79 00:04:44,651 --> 00:04:48,314 - I don't think so. - Okay, how- 80 00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:51,323 Okay. How 'bout prank phone calls? 81 00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:53,518 - Who do you want to call? - The pope. 82 00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:57,256 They never put your call through, but I know someone else who makes you kiss their ring. 83 00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:05,395 Yes, Kitty Montgomery. Yes, this is Alice Penderwalt. 84 00:05:05,471 --> 00:05:07,666 I've been watching you for quite some time... 85 00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:09,731 on the golf course... 86 00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:14,212 and I thinkyou are a very handsome woman. 87 00:05:15,581 --> 00:05:17,674 - [Footsteps ] - [Greg] What's going on? 88 00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:20,310 - She's pranking your mom. - Again? Dharma, she's gonna- 89 00:05:25,358 --> 00:05:29,385 - She's gonna figure it out! - Greg, she can't even figure out star-69. 90 00:05:31,030 --> 00:05:33,794 - [ Ringing ] - [ Gasps ] 91 00:05:33,866 --> 00:05:37,734 - Uh-oh. - [ Ringing Continues ] 92 00:05:37,804 --> 00:05:41,103 Two more rings and the machine picks it up. 93 00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,768 Happy holidays, Penderwalt residence. 94 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:46,971 Yes, sorry about hanging up like that. 95 00:05:47,046 --> 00:05:48,980 My husband, Walter, walked into the room. 96 00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:54,782 Uh, so, doyou want to meet for drinks orjust get soapy and go for it? 97 00:05:58,424 --> 00:06:00,756 Hello? [ Groans ] That was a close one. 98 00:06:00,827 --> 00:06:04,092 What ifshe said yes? W-Wait. I withdraw the question. 99 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:09,965 - Your turn. - No, look, I'm just tired. Where's my bedroom? 100 00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:12,004 Oh, all right. Come here with me. I'll showya. 101 00:06:12,071 --> 00:06:14,062 [ Grunts ] 102 00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:19,501 [ Imitating Brakes Squealing ] 103 00:06:20,513 --> 00:06:22,572 Well, what doya think? 104 00:06:22,648 --> 00:06:26,049 - Areyou kidding me? I'm sleeping here? - Well, you, Stinky and Nunzio. 105 00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:29,145 I'm sleeping with a dog named Stinky? 106 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:33,488 [ Chuckling ] Yeah, but Nunzio's the one toworry about. 107 00:06:34,894 --> 00:06:38,694 Yeah, no matter how much he begs, don't pull his tail. 108 00:06:41,734 --> 00:06:44,532 - Whoa! Dharma! - Geez! 109 00:06:44,604 --> 00:06:46,731 My little cousin's downstairs. 110 00:06:46,806 --> 00:06:49,172 Greg! Firstyou won't do it in your parents' bathroom... 111 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:52,370 and then you won't do it in the back ofthe cab-what's going on? 112 00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:55,812 - She might hear us. - So what? 113 00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:58,407 - Didn'tyou ever hearyour parents having sex? - Areyou kidding? 114 00:06:58,484 --> 00:07:02,887 - I've never seen my fatherwithout his shirt on. - Greg, she's sound asleep. 115 00:07:02,955 --> 00:07:06,618 - We don't know that. - Well, then, let's go check. 116 00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:14,298 [ Dharma Gasping ] See, she's not listening to us. She's busy. 117 00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:17,530 Whoa, whoa, what's going on here? Who areyou? 118 00:07:17,603 --> 00:07:19,867 Greg, come on. Hi, I'm Dharma. 119 00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:22,635 Sorry to invadeyour space. We'll just get to knowyou better over breakfast. 120 00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:25,609 [ Greg] No, no! Not breakfiast. 121 00:07:25,678 --> 00:07:30,342 - We have rules in this house. - Oh, you're right. What was I thinking? 122 00:07:32,251 --> 00:07:34,276 Do you have a condom? 123 00:07:34,353 --> 00:07:38,949 - Dharma! - Ifthey're planning on having intercourse- 124 00:07:39,025 --> 00:07:41,220 No one is having intercourse in this house. 125 00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:44,593 Well, you're right about that. 126 00:07:44,664 --> 00:07:47,599 You! Shoe gazer. 127 00:07:48,935 --> 00:07:50,926 - Out! - Greg. 128 00:07:51,003 --> 00:07:55,064 Here's your, uh,jacket. Here's your skateboard. 129 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:58,633 - Uh, wait. Can I say something? - What? 130 00:07:58,711 --> 00:08:02,078 Time's up. 131 00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:04,082 - Oh, that was cool. - Really cool. 132 00:08:04,150 --> 00:08:06,710 [ Together] Can I seeyou upstairs? 133 00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:10,586 God, I can't believeyou did that. I can't believeyou just kicked him out like that. 134 00:08:10,656 --> 00:08:14,990 Well, it's better than handing him a condom and putting Sade on the stereo. 135 00:08:15,061 --> 00:08:18,497 Sade? 136 00:08:18,564 --> 00:08:21,556 - Okay, BarryWhite. - BarryWhite? 137 00:08:21,634 --> 00:08:24,831 Dharma, not everybody likes John Philip Sousa when they're making love. 138 00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:29,807 - Oh, please. - The point is, we shouldn't be encouraging them. 139 00:08:29,876 --> 00:08:33,403 Greg, ifthey're going to have sex... 140 00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:36,004 don'tyou think it's better that they have it here? 141 00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:38,846 No! They should come up with a plan, sneak out... 142 00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:41,751 - say they're spending the night at a friend's house. - Oh, they should lie. 143 00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:45,814 Yes. And ifthey get awaywith it, they deserve to have sex. 144 00:08:45,892 --> 00:08:48,122 That is so sick. 145 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:51,459 No, it's Darwinian. The brightest ones get to breed. 146 00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:55,900 This is ridiculous. I'm going downstairs and I'm going to apologize. 147 00:08:58,971 --> 00:09:01,963 - Apologize forwhat? -Jennifer-Jennifer? Jennifer! 148 00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:06,944 - Her stuffs gone. - Oh, man, she split. 149 00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:10,176 All right. You stay here. I'm gonna, uh, throw some clothes on and go look for her. 150 00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:12,240 - Oh- - [KnockingAt Door] 151 00:09:14,353 --> 00:09:16,617 I got a condom. 152 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:24,695 No, Kitty, I didn't loseJennifer. 153 00:09:24,763 --> 00:09:28,028 I just want a picture ofher, you know, for mywallet. 154 00:09:28,099 --> 00:09:30,727 Okay. Sorry to wake you. [ Chuckles ] 155 00:09:30,802 --> 00:09:34,294 Excuse me? Uh, no. 156 00:09:34,372 --> 00:09:37,705 I don't know any Alice Penderwalt. Okay. Bye-bye. 157 00:09:39,544 --> 00:09:42,240 - No luck? - I looked everywhere. 158 00:09:42,314 --> 00:09:44,475 Stinky and Nunzio couldn't pick up the scent? 159 00:09:44,549 --> 00:09:46,915 No, they picked up a scent, all right, but only 'cause they rolled in it. 160 00:09:46,985 --> 00:09:49,215 [DoorOpens ] 161 00:09:49,287 --> 00:09:53,314 Guess who I found in the laundry room. 162 00:09:53,391 --> 00:09:57,589 The laundry room? I'm wandering around the city in the middle ofthe night... 163 00:09:57,662 --> 00:10:00,597 with Roly-Poly and the Urinater and you're- 164 00:10:02,801 --> 00:10:06,760 - Hiding in the laundry room? - Greg, please. 165 00:10:06,838 --> 00:10:09,033 -Jennifer, areyou okay? - I'm fine. 166 00:10:09,107 --> 00:10:11,632 Who hides in the laundry room? What areyou, a sock? 167 00:10:11,710 --> 00:10:15,339 - Areyou done? - Yeah. 168 00:10:15,413 --> 00:10:17,847 Good.Jennifer, your running away... 169 00:10:17,916 --> 00:10:20,180 really upsetyour fellow community members. 170 00:10:20,252 --> 00:10:23,517 Now how doyou feel we should handle this? 171 00:10:23,588 --> 00:10:26,250 Who cares how she feels? She has no say in this. 172 00:10:26,324 --> 00:10:29,919 Oh, so I suppose when we have children, they'll have no say in how they're raised. 173 00:10:29,995 --> 00:10:33,055 Oh, come on, Dharma, doyou ask Stinky and Nunzio how they should be trained? 174 00:10:33,131 --> 00:10:35,861 - Well, as a matter offact- - Let's not get into that. 175 00:10:35,934 --> 00:10:39,461 - Can you excuse us a minute? - No, she doesn't have to leave if she doesn't want to. 176 00:10:39,538 --> 00:10:42,507 - No, I want to. - Okay, ifthat's whatyou want to do. 177 00:10:45,644 --> 00:10:48,579 - Dharma, she needs to be punished. - That's exactlywhat she wants. 178 00:10:48,647 --> 00:10:52,139 - Then it's her lucky day. - Don'tyou understand? 179 00:10:52,217 --> 00:10:54,913 Jennifer gets into trouble because she's starved for attention... 180 00:10:54,986 --> 00:10:56,920 and punishment is just negative attention. 181 00:10:56,988 --> 00:10:59,286 So true. 182 00:11:01,826 --> 00:11:04,920 Then what kind of attention doyou suggest we give her? 183 00:11:04,996 --> 00:11:08,523 Well, I was thinkingJane and I are gonna go Christmas shopping. 184 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:13,537 - As German tourists, of course. - Of course. 185 00:11:13,605 --> 00:11:18,201 So, I thought we'd take her along with us. 186 00:11:18,276 --> 00:11:20,938 Wait. Because she stayed out all night, she gets to go shopping? 187 00:11:21,012 --> 00:11:25,574 No, Greg, because she gets to go shopping, she won't feel the need to stay out all night. 188 00:11:27,452 --> 00:11:31,047 - So what's the verdict? - [ Sighs ] Dharma's taking you shopping... 189 00:11:31,122 --> 00:11:33,852 as a German tourist, and let that be a lesson toya. 190 00:11:37,195 --> 00:11:41,325 [ Speaking Fake German ] Oh, "liken starken sveater?" 191 00:11:41,399 --> 00:11:45,165 - "Das is nicen poofen sveater." -Ja. 192 00:11:45,236 --> 00:11:50,765 "Assen warmin' poofen sveater for our freezin' hooters." [ Chuckles ] 193 00:11:53,511 --> 00:11:55,979 These are very expensive. May I help you? 194 00:11:56,047 --> 00:11:59,505 [ Together] "Ja, may I help you?" 195 00:11:59,584 --> 00:12:05,181 - Do you need some help? - Ja,ja, Planet Hollywood. 196 00:12:05,256 --> 00:12:10,922 - Party every night! - [ Singing Nonsense Song ] 197 00:12:10,996 --> 00:12:13,590 Whoo! [ Laughs ] 198 00:12:17,636 --> 00:12:20,469 They're from outta town. 199 00:12:20,538 --> 00:12:23,564 I'm very busy. Are they shopping? 200 00:12:23,642 --> 00:12:25,610 "Aah, kosten poofen sveater?" 201 00:12:25,677 --> 00:12:30,910 - Theywant to know how much the sweater costs. - It's $78. 202 00:12:33,351 --> 00:12:35,512 Seventy-eight dollars. 203 00:12:38,356 --> 00:12:41,985 [ Speaking Fake German ] "Schleventy eighten dollarzen." 204 00:12:44,629 --> 00:12:49,589 - Schleventy eighten dollarzen? - Costen vay too muchen. 205 00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:51,795 Ja. 206 00:12:51,870 --> 00:12:56,739 "Dasen einen Donald Trumpen poofen sveater." 207 00:12:56,808 --> 00:12:59,174 They say it's a little pricey. 208 00:12:59,244 --> 00:13:01,178 Well, the sale table is over there. 209 00:13:02,247 --> 00:13:05,080 "Cheapen sveaters herezin." 210 00:13:05,150 --> 00:13:08,119 "Cheapen sveaters sucken muchen." 211 00:13:09,854 --> 00:13:12,550 - They don't like 'em. - I got that. 212 00:13:12,624 --> 00:13:16,390 Uh, uh- Please, please, um- 213 00:13:20,532 --> 00:13:25,333 [ With A German Accent ] The polar bears are my lunch. 214 00:13:26,771 --> 00:13:28,898 I'm sorry? 215 00:13:28,973 --> 00:13:33,637 Polar bears? Pol-ar, pol-ah- 216 00:13:34,646 --> 00:13:39,015 Vroom! Vroom! 217 00:13:39,084 --> 00:13:42,611 What doyou want? 218 00:13:46,224 --> 00:13:49,455 - Pol-ar? - Give me this. 219 00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:56,358 [Reading Phrase Book] "Kann ich dirhelfien?" 220 00:14:00,205 --> 00:14:02,639 "Fraulein poopen mouthen!" 221 00:14:05,043 --> 00:14:09,343 "Ve going to make heap biggen schtinken mit die überbossen!" 222 00:14:13,818 --> 00:14:16,116 [ Laughs ] 223 00:14:18,189 --> 00:14:20,123 - Oh! - Danke! 224 00:14:20,191 --> 00:14:23,820 - Happy birthday to your head. - Ja. 225 00:14:25,663 --> 00:14:28,188 - Man, you guys are nuts. - [ Chuckling ] Oh, this is nothing. 226 00:14:28,266 --> 00:14:31,292 You should see Siamese twins who share a brain. 227 00:14:31,369 --> 00:14:35,362 - Hey, that's my idea! - No, it's my idea! 228 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:39,604 - [ Both Whining ] - Hey, I know what we should do. 229 00:14:39,677 --> 00:14:42,237 - Let's go to Cinnabon as Siamese triplets. - [ Laughing ] 230 00:14:42,313 --> 00:14:45,874 - Right on. - Wait a minute. What's this? 231 00:14:45,950 --> 00:14:48,851 - Nothing. - Did you steal this? 232 00:14:52,223 --> 00:14:56,990 - Now what doyou want? - "Steal dis poofen sveater, dis kinderbraten." 233 00:14:57,061 --> 00:15:02,158 - What? - "Shmack, shmack, shmack dis little vienerschnit." 234 00:15:02,233 --> 00:15:04,394 Excuse, me, I have other customers. 235 00:15:04,469 --> 00:15:08,405 -Jennifer, tell "themstein." - [ Sighs ] 236 00:15:08,473 --> 00:15:13,467 Hey, look, I'm sorry, and I feel really bad about this, but... 237 00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:16,173 - they stole this sweater. - Nein, nein, nein. 238 00:15:16,247 --> 00:15:19,341 - They stole nine sweaters. - Nein! 239 00:15:19,417 --> 00:15:23,353 - Does anyone here speak German? - Yes, I do. 240 00:15:23,421 --> 00:15:28,449 - Please, ask them what's wrong. - [ Speaking Real German ] 241 00:15:30,528 --> 00:15:32,519 [ Chuckling ] 242 00:15:34,766 --> 00:15:36,757 "Farfegnugen?" 243 00:15:41,606 --> 00:15:43,540 I don't get what the big deal is. 244 00:15:43,608 --> 00:15:47,544 The big deal is,Jane and I had to sit in that security office... 245 00:15:47,612 --> 00:15:51,571 and convince them that we were escaped mental patients. 246 00:15:51,649 --> 00:15:55,050 Well, ifyou hadn't done that stupid German thing- 247 00:15:55,119 --> 00:15:58,213 Ah, ah, ah, stealing is wayworse than faking German, now scrub. 248 00:15:58,289 --> 00:16:00,757 - [Opening Door] - Hey, what's goin' on? 249 00:16:00,825 --> 00:16:03,817 Well,your cousin stole a sweaterfirom the mall. 250 00:16:03,895 --> 00:16:06,227 - What? - Don't worry. I'm punishing her. 251 00:16:06,297 --> 00:16:08,424 By scrubbing the floor? It's a little Cinderella, don't you think? 252 00:16:08,499 --> 00:16:11,059 Yeah! That's where I got it! 253 00:16:11,135 --> 00:16:15,196 And after she's done with that, she's gonna sew me a ball gown, aren'tya? 254 00:16:15,273 --> 00:16:18,140 - Dharma, can I speak toyou in the hallway? - Sure. 255 00:16:21,246 --> 00:16:23,714 First ofall, I'm glad you've realized the importance of discipline. 256 00:16:23,781 --> 00:16:25,214 Thankyou. But? 257 00:16:25,283 --> 00:16:28,411 Butyou don't pick punishments out offairytales. 258 00:16:28,486 --> 00:16:32,980 Greg, it's not like I locked her in a tower and made some guy climb up her hair. 259 00:16:34,392 --> 00:16:36,622 Dharma, think back. How did your parents punish you? 260 00:16:36,694 --> 00:16:40,892 [ Sighing ] Well, one time I got sent to bed without meditating... 261 00:16:40,965 --> 00:16:44,924 but that's just 'cause I threw a piece of plastic on a compost heap. 262 00:16:45,970 --> 00:16:48,131 Well, you clearly had that coming. 263 00:16:48,206 --> 00:16:50,834 - Listen, why don't we just ground her? - See, I'd love to... 264 00:16:50,909 --> 00:16:54,072 - but how do we do that? - Easy.Just tell her she can't leave the apartment. 265 00:16:54,145 --> 00:16:58,047 How will that make her more grounded? 266 00:17:00,952 --> 00:17:04,547 - Wow. Okay. Follow me on this. - I'm right behind ya. 267 00:17:06,524 --> 00:17:08,719 Jennifer, you're grounded. 268 00:17:08,793 --> 00:17:11,626 Gee, Greg, ifit was that easy, everybodywould be grounded. 269 00:17:13,064 --> 00:17:15,225 No phone, no TV, no friends. You're not to leave this house. 270 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:18,792 - Oh, yeah, watch me. - Hey, where areyou going? 271 00:17:18,870 --> 00:17:21,566 Look, tell my mother I shoplifted, tell my Aunt Kitty. I don't care. 272 00:17:21,639 --> 00:17:24,972 - I'm outta here. - No, no, no, you're not going anywhere. 273 00:17:25,043 --> 00:17:29,776 You are going to get grounded. 274 00:17:29,847 --> 00:17:31,940 - Right? - Close enough. 275 00:17:33,418 --> 00:17:35,386 What areyou gonna do, watch me all night? 276 00:17:39,223 --> 00:17:42,215 - [ Sniffing ] Everything okay down here? - Yep. 277 00:17:42,293 --> 00:17:46,457 - It's really late. You, uh, want me to take over? - Nah. Got my second wind. 278 00:17:47,999 --> 00:17:51,093 Okay. Uh, can I ask whyyou're sitting there? 279 00:17:51,169 --> 00:17:55,196 'CauseJennifer said there's never anything good on TV. [ Chuckling ] 280 00:18:00,845 --> 00:18:04,747 You know, ifl wanted to leave, you couldn't stop me. 281 00:18:04,816 --> 00:18:08,308 Oh, I'd bustyou open... 282 00:18:08,386 --> 00:18:12,880 Iike a can ofthose refrigerator biscuit things. 283 00:18:16,494 --> 00:18:19,486 All right. I'm just gonna go to sleep. 284 00:18:19,564 --> 00:18:24,024 Good. I'm glad you finally came toyour senses. 285 00:18:24,102 --> 00:18:26,434 - I'll go getyou a blanket. - Thanks. 286 00:18:40,685 --> 00:18:43,245 [ Drowsily] Don't even think about it. 287 00:18:49,327 --> 00:18:51,693 [Yawning ] 288 00:18:53,231 --> 00:18:55,791 - [Bird Chirping] - What was that? 289 00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:59,769 Uh, that was either a bird, or the guy upstairs who thinks he's a bird. 290 00:19:02,273 --> 00:19:06,403 Eitherway, it's dawn. 291 00:19:06,477 --> 00:19:10,208 - What areyou doing? - I must greet the dawn. 292 00:19:10,281 --> 00:19:12,272 Hello, dawn! 293 00:19:15,553 --> 00:19:18,852 - You are such a freak. - And you are the Shoemaster General. 294 00:19:18,923 --> 00:19:22,859 - Whoo! - Why areyou doing this? 295 00:19:22,927 --> 00:19:25,418 - Doing what? - This. 296 00:19:25,496 --> 00:19:27,430 You don't even know me. Why doyou care what I do? 297 00:19:27,498 --> 00:19:31,958 I'll tell you why. I will tell you why. 298 00:19:33,771 --> 00:19:35,796 I will tell you why. What was the question again? 299 00:19:35,873 --> 00:19:38,933 Oh, wait. Now I remember. 300 00:19:39,010 --> 00:19:42,036 [ Sighs ] Okay. 301 00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:48,018 I care whatyou do... 302 00:19:48,086 --> 00:19:50,554 because people should care what other people do. 303 00:19:50,621 --> 00:19:56,150 - Well, people don't. - Well, I don't care what other people do. 304 00:19:58,796 --> 00:20:01,230 - Butyou just said that- - Hey, you know what? 305 00:20:01,299 --> 00:20:04,666 I haven't slept since I metyou, so just give me a break, okay? 306 00:20:06,704 --> 00:20:09,264 Okay. Well, thanks for caring. Can I go now? 307 00:20:09,340 --> 00:20:14,277 - Who's stopping you? - You are so weird. 308 00:20:16,781 --> 00:20:20,774 - Where areyou gonna go? - I don't know, get some breakfast. 309 00:20:24,956 --> 00:20:27,948 - You wanna come? - [ Gasps ] 310 00:20:30,928 --> 00:20:34,455 Yeah, you know what? Actually, I could go for some pancakes. 311 00:20:34,532 --> 00:20:38,491 How about German pancakes? 312 00:20:38,569 --> 00:20:41,629 Ah, wunderbar. 313 00:20:41,706 --> 00:20:44,539 - Undstrudel? Ooh! - Ooh! 314 00:20:50,448 --> 00:20:54,111 - Is it my turn? - Hold your horses. 315 00:20:54,185 --> 00:20:59,885 - What? What are you doing? - Oh, I made natural ornaments for everyone this year. 316 00:20:59,957 --> 00:21:04,053 Oh, that's ridiculous. You don't put pine cones on a tree. 317 00:21:04,128 --> 00:21:08,622 Finkelstein, for the last time, keepyour mitts off of my caboose. 318 00:21:08,699 --> 00:21:11,224 You said, next time through the tunnel, I get to go. 319 00:21:11,302 --> 00:21:15,398 Hey, hey, hey, what's going on over here? 320 00:21:15,473 --> 00:21:17,771 - He won't let me drive the train. - You're not gonna drive my train... 321 00:21:17,842 --> 00:21:19,833 until you take a urine test. 322 00:21:21,979 --> 00:21:25,346 You two share, or the train's going back in the box, and you'll never see it again. 323 00:21:25,416 --> 00:21:28,214 - [ Grunts ] Stupid! - See? 324 00:21:31,088 --> 00:21:35,787 - [Phone Ringing] - Hello? 325 00:21:35,860 --> 00:21:38,852 Oh, Kitty, it's foryou. It's Alice Penderwalt. 326 00:21:40,965 --> 00:21:44,162 Oh, uh, I'll, uh, take that upstairs. 327 00:21:46,604 --> 00:21:48,834 It's Jane. My idea. 328 00:21:48,906 --> 00:21:52,774 - Very good. I'm proud ofyou. - [ Laughing ] 329 00:21:52,843 --> 00:21:55,107 Now fork over the spiked eggnog. 330 00:22:02,119 --> 00:22:04,053 It's 4 to 6 Foot! 28233

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