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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000 www.tvsubtitles.net 2 00:00:01,234 --> 00:00:04,067 Look, up in the sky! 3 00:00:04,137 --> 00:00:07,265 It's a puffycloud! It's a giant seagull! 4 00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:10,605 No! It's Superbride! 5 00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:12,838 [ Shouting ] 6 00:00:16,716 --> 00:00:20,777 - What are you doing? - Wait a sec. Can you see me? 7 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,913 - Yes. - Oh, I totally misunderstood... 8 00:00:22,989 --> 00:00:26,686 that whole "groom can't see the bride in herwedding dress" thing. 9 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:30,696 Not only can I seeyou, you look unbelievable. 10 00:00:30,764 --> 00:00:32,755 Hey, I, uh, gotyou a little something. 11 00:00:32,832 --> 00:00:34,459 Oh, you shouldn't have. What is it? 12 00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:36,764 Sit. 13 00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:40,704 Oh, good boy, but Mommy's getting the treat, 'kay? 14 00:00:42,809 --> 00:00:47,269 Dharma, running offand getting married the daywe met... 15 00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:51,408 was the craziest, most brilliant, truest moment of my life. 16 00:00:51,484 --> 00:00:53,782 Yeah, yeah, yeah. What'd ya get me? What'd ya get me? 17 00:00:53,853 --> 00:00:56,754 Will you let me finish? 18 00:00:56,823 --> 00:00:58,814 - [ Sighs ] - Dharma Finkelstein... 19 00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,883 will you please marry me again... 20 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:05,294 this time in a big, obnoxious gala organized by my mother? 21 00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:08,801 - Oh, my God. - Okay. Now, don't freak out. 22 00:01:08,868 --> 00:01:12,099 It's not about materialism, I mean, it's just a symbol of my love. 23 00:01:12,172 --> 00:01:15,039 And it's a honker! 24 00:01:16,509 --> 00:01:19,569 [ Sighs ] I love it. 25 00:01:19,646 --> 00:01:24,379 - Oh! I loveyou. Mmm. - Loveyou too. 26 00:01:24,451 --> 00:01:29,479 - You ever done it with a bride? - [Knocking] 27 00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:32,423 Thanks for stopping by. Go away! 28 00:01:32,492 --> 00:01:34,619 [Kitty] Gregory., it'syourmother. 29 00:01:34,694 --> 00:01:37,891 It's not enough she does this in my dreams. 30 00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:39,989 Come in. 31 00:01:40,066 --> 00:01:42,694 What are you doing here? You can't see her in her dress. 32 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:46,261 - See, that's what I thought. - [ Laughs ] 33 00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:48,330 All right. That's enough. That's enough. Come on. 34 00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:51,206 Dharma, we have to doyour hair, your makeup, your nails. 35 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,336 - I did that already, see? - Yes, well, humor me. 36 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:57,045 - Bye, groom. - Bye, bride. 37 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,847 Oh, please, cut the lovey-dovey crap. 38 00:01:59,919 --> 00:02:02,444 We have a wedding to put on. Come. Come. Come. 39 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:23,204 - [ "Bridal Chorus" ] - Da, dum, da-dum Dip 40 00:02:23,276 --> 00:02:26,507 Da, dum, da-dum Slide 41 00:02:26,579 --> 00:02:31,448 Dum, dum, da-dum Dum, dum-dum, dum, da-dum 42 00:02:31,518 --> 00:02:33,952 Hop, hop, hop 43 00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:36,386 What on earth areyou doing? 44 00:02:36,456 --> 00:02:38,549 Dharma, doyou understand... 45 00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:40,650 that we have only two hours... 46 00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:43,161 to do everybody's hair and makeup, locate the cake... 47 00:02:43,229 --> 00:02:46,721 figure out how to do a champagne toast for 1 50 guests... 48 00:02:46,799 --> 00:02:49,529 with only two cases of champagne- 1 2 bottles in each case. 49 00:02:49,602 --> 00:02:52,867 Oh, man! I hate word problems. 50 00:02:52,939 --> 00:02:54,930 Oh, no! 51 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:57,408 Edward was supposed to take this down to the groomsmen. 52 00:02:57,477 --> 00:03:00,002 I can't ask him to do one thing, not even- 53 00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:02,741 Oh! Here. would you take this box ofboutonnieres to the men? 54 00:03:02,815 --> 00:03:06,307 Hey, I'm notyour gofer. I'm the maid ofhonor. 55 00:03:06,386 --> 00:03:10,254 Well, try thinking less honor, more maid. 56 00:03:10,323 --> 00:03:12,553 Kiss Greg for me! 57 00:03:12,625 --> 00:03:15,287 Dharma, dear, please cooperate with me. 58 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:17,591 I am trying to make this a dayyou will never forget. 59 00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:19,655 - Can I go to the bathroom? - No. 60 00:03:19,732 --> 00:03:23,293 - That'll do it. - Hi, honey. 61 00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:26,805 Oh, look atyou! 62 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:31,310 Look at you! Thunder only happens when it's raining. 63 00:03:36,449 --> 00:03:39,612 Yes. This is Mrs. Montgomery. 64 00:03:39,686 --> 00:03:41,916 Yes. I just- I just passed the hors d'oeuvre tray... 65 00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:44,456 and there's still no deviled eggs. 66 00:03:44,524 --> 00:03:48,927 "Donde las huevos el diablo?" 67 00:03:48,995 --> 00:03:52,726 Dharma, I want you to have this. 68 00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:57,532 It's the fertility goddess that presided overyour conception. 69 00:03:57,604 --> 00:03:59,731 - Thankyou, Abby. - Mm-hmm. 70 00:04:01,774 --> 00:04:06,609 You're gonna have to fightyourway through two forms ofbirth control, my little friend. 71 00:04:06,679 --> 00:04:09,580 Yes, I'll be right there. 72 00:04:09,649 --> 00:04:14,086 Dharma, please, the chair. Thankyou. 73 00:04:14,153 --> 00:04:17,645 - Kitty! You and I have an important job to do today! - Yeah. 74 00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:19,715 Well, I have several important jobs to do. 75 00:04:19,792 --> 00:04:22,989 Right now I have to go down to the kitchen and lay three dozen eggs. 76 00:04:23,062 --> 00:04:26,088 I know, I know, I know. I know, but ifyou could just spare a moment... 77 00:04:26,165 --> 00:04:29,032 I just thought this would be a nice time foryou and I... 78 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:34,005 to give some wisdom to Dharma, because we are the elderwomen ofthe tribe. 79 00:04:34,073 --> 00:04:38,942 - We are? - We're the grizzled old she-wolves ofthe pack. 80 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:41,344 Ah! Much better. 81 00:04:41,414 --> 00:04:44,872 Dharma, I have a little wisdom foryou. 82 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,442 Right nowyour life is filled with love, and that is a wonderful thing... 83 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:51,752 a great thing, but that lasts about a year, 1 8 months, tops. 84 00:04:51,824 --> 00:04:55,419 So I would join some clubs. Excuse me. 85 00:04:56,963 --> 00:05:00,262 [ Whispering ] I think she has some issues. 86 00:05:00,333 --> 00:05:03,666 [ Laughs ] 87 00:05:03,736 --> 00:05:06,466 Okay, Dharm. 88 00:05:06,539 --> 00:05:09,201 When a man and a woman come together... 89 00:05:09,275 --> 00:05:14,838 it's like two streams joining to become a mighty river oflove... 90 00:05:14,914 --> 00:05:19,214 that flows endlessly to empty into the cosmic ocean. 91 00:05:19,285 --> 00:05:22,311 Oh, God. Now I really have to go to the bathroom. 92 00:05:24,824 --> 00:05:27,793 - That's a nice dress. - It burns my flesh. 93 00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:31,227 I can feel the heat! 94 00:05:31,297 --> 00:05:33,322 Where areyou goin'? 95 00:05:33,399 --> 00:05:35,959 I think I'm gonna score with the freaky chick. 96 00:05:38,971 --> 00:05:41,735 I keep feelin' like there's something I should be doing. 97 00:05:41,808 --> 00:05:45,175 Gregory, relax. You're supposed to feel useless on yourwedding day. 98 00:05:45,244 --> 00:05:48,042 It prepares you for the rest ofyour married life. 99 00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:52,141 Oh, thanks, Dad. That's nice. I hope that's part ofyour toast. 100 00:05:52,218 --> 00:05:54,982 I gotta tell ya, Greg, your old man has a point. 101 00:05:55,054 --> 00:05:57,716 That's why Abby and I never got married. 102 00:05:57,790 --> 00:06:00,224 Too stifling. It becomes all about roles. 103 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:04,491 Oh, admit it, Finkelstein, your roles are in the same ringer as the rest of us. 104 00:06:04,564 --> 00:06:07,761 Not true. I've got a lot offreedom in my relationship. 105 00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:11,827 - Can you sleep with otherwomen? - No. 106 00:06:11,904 --> 00:06:15,305 - Doyou have to call home when you're late? - Well... 107 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:18,208 I try never to be late. 108 00:06:18,277 --> 00:06:20,541 I rest my case. 109 00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:23,013 Gin! 110 00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:26,210 That's what I need, a case of gin. 111 00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:29,584 All right. That's 22 bucks you owe me. 112 00:06:29,655 --> 00:06:34,957 I'll be right back. I, uh, allow Abby to carry the money. 113 00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:38,495 [ Chuckles ] 114 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:43,168 All right. Easynow. There we go. 115 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:46,569 Up. Good. 116 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,304 Well. There. 117 00:06:50,376 --> 00:06:53,573 Oh, my God! I can see my house from up here! 118 00:06:53,646 --> 00:06:57,082 Very amusing. And, now, walk towards me. 119 00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:59,710 - That's a girl. Very good. Up, up, up. - Ow, ow, ow. 120 00:06:59,786 --> 00:07:02,414 Good, good, good. All right. Now the head piece. 121 00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:05,514 - Okay, but I shoes are pinching me. - Of course they are. 122 00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:09,527 They're Italian. Oh, that is perfect. 123 00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:13,292 - Um, O-kay. - There. 124 00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:15,527 - Uh, Kitty, Kitty. It's piercing my brain. - Yeah? 125 00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:18,900 That's good. It won't fall off. 126 00:07:18,971 --> 00:07:21,030 [ Sniffs ] Oh, Lord. What is that stench? 127 00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:24,941 I'm burning sage to cleanse the room of evil spirits. 128 00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:30,540 Well, I will open the window and let the little devils out. 129 00:07:33,352 --> 00:07:35,377 - Ladies. - Hi. 130 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:37,446 Oh! Oh, no! What areyou wearing? 131 00:07:37,523 --> 00:07:40,617 Aqua Velva. Too much? 132 00:07:40,693 --> 00:07:44,459 That is not a rose. That is a carnation. 133 00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:48,864 - What's wrong with a carnation? - Nothing, ifit's on an Appalachian prom dress. 134 00:07:58,010 --> 00:08:02,003 Dharm, come here. Let's all take a moment... 135 00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:04,811 and hold hands and get nice and centered. 136 00:08:04,884 --> 00:08:08,047 Good, 'cause I really need you guys right now. 137 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,418 Oh! We're here forya, baby. We're here forya. 138 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:13,050 All right. We're gonna close our eyes... 139 00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:16,117 and focus all our energy on Dharma. 140 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:22,696 - Abby, I need $22. - Why? 141 00:08:22,768 --> 00:08:26,169 I don't need your permission. I just need $22. 142 00:08:26,239 --> 00:08:29,936 And we're sending all the energy to Dharma. 143 00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:35,074 Larry, did you eat meat? 144 00:08:35,147 --> 00:08:37,342 No. 145 00:08:37,416 --> 00:08:41,785 - You ate meat. I can smell it. - That's my tongue. It's made of meat. 146 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,118 Either one ofyou, just a little energy myway. 147 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:49,184 All right. 148 00:08:49,262 --> 00:08:52,231 It's okay ifyou ate meat, Larry. 149 00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:55,062 I just wantyou to understand it makes you belligerent. 150 00:08:55,134 --> 00:08:59,127 And now we're sucking the energy out of Dharma. 151 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:01,969 No, what makes me belligerent... 152 00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:04,373 is your "veggier-than-thou" attitude. 153 00:09:07,246 --> 00:09:11,012 Good luck with your meat fight! 154 00:09:11,083 --> 00:09:13,677 Son, can I giveyou some advice? 155 00:09:13,753 --> 00:09:17,519 Yeah, that would mean a lot to me, Dad. 156 00:09:17,590 --> 00:09:22,994 Put the 4 over here on top and then you can move the king back here. 157 00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:30,124 Both ofyou, take offthose ridiculous boutonnieres. 158 00:09:30,202 --> 00:09:32,636 - Edward, checkbook. - Why? 159 00:09:32,705 --> 00:09:35,572 Because there's a problem. I'm throwing money at it. 160 00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:37,632 Is there anything I can do? 161 00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:40,235 No, darling, you have enough to do. 162 00:09:40,313 --> 00:09:45,080 Right. I haven't wound mywatch out hereyet. 163 00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:47,949 Look! Look at these. They're awful! 164 00:09:48,020 --> 00:09:50,955 Kitty, they're just flowers. Nobody cares. 165 00:09:51,023 --> 00:09:53,048 And by "nobody," you mean you? 166 00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:55,184 Yes. 167 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:57,593 Well, let me tell you something, Edward. 168 00:09:57,663 --> 00:10:02,828 Everybody cares, and by "everybody," I mean me. 169 00:10:02,902 --> 00:10:06,099 I care, Edward. That is myjob in this family. I care. 170 00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:08,834 I care at every Christmas dinner. I care at every business function. 171 00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:11,843 I care every time that maid puts a meal down in front ofyou! 172 00:10:11,911 --> 00:10:14,471 And for some reason or other, you don't seem to notice. 173 00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:16,811 All right. All right. Here's the checkbook. 174 00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:20,942 Thankyou. Thankyou, Edward. 175 00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:26,048 I will tuck this away in the gaping void that was once my soul. 176 00:10:27,393 --> 00:10:31,329 Don't lose the pen this time! 177 00:10:33,265 --> 00:10:36,234 Yippee! Hi, stranger. 178 00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:40,033 - How's it going? - Great. Couldn't be better. 179 00:10:40,106 --> 00:10:43,132 I know. Me too. I'm having such a wonderful time. Can we go home now? 180 00:10:43,209 --> 00:10:46,042 - [Kitty] Gregory.. - [ Gasps ] Quick, in here. 181 00:10:46,112 --> 00:10:49,809 - It's the queen of pain. - You know, I thought I was the only one who called her that. 182 00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:52,146 - Oh! - [ Sighs ] 183 00:10:52,218 --> 00:10:54,812 Greg, this is unbelievable, 'kay? 184 00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:58,254 - Now I know why people elope. - Dharma, we eloped. 185 00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:01,316 I guess we're just a couple of overdressed idiots then, huh? 186 00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:06,661 - It's almost over. - It hasn't even started yet! 187 00:11:06,732 --> 00:11:08,996 Why can't we just leave? 188 00:11:09,068 --> 00:11:11,400 'Cause we'd never be able to face these people again. 189 00:11:11,470 --> 00:11:15,497 - Aw, you promise? - [ Chuckles ] We gotta go back. 190 00:11:15,574 --> 00:11:18,441 - It'll get better. I swear. - [Kitty] Dharma. 191 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,877 [ Gasps ] Oh, God, it's her. Oh, God, if she finds out I'm in here... 192 00:11:20,946 --> 00:11:23,073 there's no telling what she'll stick in my head! 193 00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:25,379 Okay, quick. Make a break for it. 194 00:11:25,451 --> 00:11:27,885 This meeting never happened. You don't know me. 195 00:11:27,953 --> 00:11:31,320 - Vaya con Dios. - Chili con queso. 196 00:11:35,761 --> 00:11:38,821 They're gone. Now where were we? 197 00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:43,561 I don't know where you were, but I'm done. Thanks. See ya. 198 00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:47,402 What? What do ya mean, you're done? 199 00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:50,874 Done as in give me my shoes and point me toward the door. 200 00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,704 Okay, now all I need is my shoes. 201 00:12:00,419 --> 00:12:05,083 [Piano ] 202 00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:07,250 So I said, "Come on. You're killin' me." 203 00:12:07,326 --> 00:12:12,025 It's the bride that's supposed to have somethin' blue. 204 00:12:12,097 --> 00:12:17,296 Pete, in the closet? My coat's in there. 205 00:12:33,552 --> 00:12:37,511 Just one dog-faced boy short of a freak show. 206 00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:46,491 So I said, "Best man? You're not even the best man in this closet." 207 00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:49,966 Ha, ha. Funny story. Go tell Greg. 208 00:12:50,035 --> 00:12:52,868 I'm telling you, I did not know theywere meat. 209 00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:54,929 Can we not do this now? 210 00:12:55,007 --> 00:12:57,339 Okay. I'm sorry, honey. 211 00:12:57,409 --> 00:13:01,345 You honestly thought the waiter was offering you "figs in a blanket"? 212 00:13:05,751 --> 00:13:10,051 [Piano: "Bridal Chorus"] 213 00:13:13,525 --> 00:13:16,323 I just can't tell you how aggravating it is... 214 00:13:16,395 --> 00:13:18,488 that your mother attributes everything I say and do... 215 00:13:18,564 --> 00:13:23,558 to what I eat, and how I breathe and the phases ofthe moon. 216 00:13:23,635 --> 00:13:25,626 Fine, Larry, you're the exception. 217 00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:29,965 - Hi. - Hi. 218 00:13:30,042 --> 00:13:34,138 Quick, create a diversion while I slip down through this dress and tunnel outta here. 219 00:13:35,748 --> 00:13:37,978 My friends, we come together today... 220 00:13:38,050 --> 00:13:40,951 to celebrate the joyous union... 221 00:13:41,019 --> 00:13:44,113 of Dharma Freedom Finkelstein... 222 00:13:44,189 --> 00:13:47,215 and Gregory Clifford Montgomery. 223 00:13:47,292 --> 00:13:52,753 Clifford? I didn't know your middle name was Clifford. 224 00:13:52,831 --> 00:13:57,131 A wedding invites us all... 225 00:13:57,202 --> 00:14:00,968 to share in the boundless happiness oflove. 226 00:14:01,039 --> 00:14:04,236 [ Singsong ] Clifford. 227 00:14:04,309 --> 00:14:07,801 We come together not simply to witness... 228 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:10,678 the union ofiGregory.and Dharma... 229 00:14:10,749 --> 00:14:14,708 but to strengthen it by our example. 230 00:14:14,787 --> 00:14:16,812 So I would like to invite at this time... 231 00:14:16,889 --> 00:14:20,620 all the couples among us to share quietly... 232 00:14:20,692 --> 00:14:24,594 a heartfelt expression of their love for each other. 233 00:14:24,663 --> 00:14:27,496 [ Mouthing Words ] 234 00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:30,160 You're eating God's creatures. 235 00:14:30,235 --> 00:14:33,636 Well, then, he shouldn't have made them so tasty. 236 00:14:34,773 --> 00:14:37,105 - [ Whispers, Indistinct ] - What? 237 00:14:37,176 --> 00:14:39,371 I said, "I want a divorce!" 238 00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:49,211 And she thought I was gonna screw this up. 239 00:14:52,858 --> 00:14:54,985 I can't believeyou did this at ourwedding. 240 00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:57,528 - Greg, you can't ask them to ignore theirfeelings. - Why not? 241 00:14:57,596 --> 00:15:00,588 They've been doing it for 30 years. You couldn't hold out one more day? 242 00:15:00,666 --> 00:15:03,191 Let's everybody squeeze up nice and close... 243 00:15:03,268 --> 00:15:05,395 and happy family! 244 00:15:05,471 --> 00:15:07,564 [ Camera Shutter Clicks ] 245 00:15:07,639 --> 00:15:10,267 Come on, Edward, maybe it would be helpful ifyou gave Kitty... 246 00:15:10,342 --> 00:15:13,277 one reason why the two ofyou should stay together. 247 00:15:13,345 --> 00:15:15,370 - Dharma, let's drop it. - Uh-uh! Come on, Edward... 248 00:15:15,447 --> 00:15:17,574 one reason the two ofyou should not get a divorce. 249 00:15:17,649 --> 00:15:22,484 - I'd lose my shirt. - Okay, let's drop it. 250 00:15:22,554 --> 00:15:25,045 - Ooh! Big smile! - [ Camera Shutter Clicks ] 251 00:15:25,123 --> 00:15:29,287 Hey, Abby, know what the secret ingredient in myvegetarian chili is? 252 00:15:29,361 --> 00:15:32,194 Moo! 253 00:15:32,264 --> 00:15:34,494 - [ Photographer] And so happy! - [ Camera Shutter Clicks ] 254 00:15:34,566 --> 00:15:38,229 All right, every.one. Let's welcome the newlyweds to the dance floor... 255 00:15:38,303 --> 00:15:42,467 for their first dance as man and wife, Donna and Craig. 256 00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:51,549 - Odds are he means us. - I never thought Hell would be catered. 257 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,676 Come on. 258 00:15:53,752 --> 00:15:56,312 [ Pop ] 259 00:15:56,388 --> 00:16:00,290 [ Singing ] 260 00:16:03,762 --> 00:16:05,992 - It's "Dharma." - It's actually "Don'tya." 261 00:16:06,064 --> 00:16:08,089 [ Continues Singing ] 262 00:16:08,166 --> 00:16:10,566 [SingingStops ] 263 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,797 Remind me again whywe had this party. 264 00:16:12,871 --> 00:16:14,862 To make all these people happy. 265 00:16:14,940 --> 00:16:19,639 Look, Abby, white sugar! 266 00:16:19,711 --> 00:16:23,511 Refined white sugar. Mmm! 267 00:16:23,582 --> 00:16:27,575 All I'm sayin' is I'm a person. You know, I have needs. 268 00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:30,645 You're not even gonna let me finish a sentence, areya? 269 00:16:33,358 --> 00:16:36,919 Thirtyyears, Edward, and you've never noticed one damn thing. 270 00:16:36,995 --> 00:16:39,190 Quick, what color are my eyes? 271 00:16:39,264 --> 00:16:41,596 - Hmm? - Lovely. 272 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,658 Oh. 273 00:16:43,735 --> 00:16:46,329 Well, they look happy to me. 274 00:16:46,405 --> 00:16:49,101 Then ourjob here is done. 275 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:52,701 [ Whistling ] 276 00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:05,316 [ Both Giggling ] 277 00:17:06,491 --> 00:17:08,891 Whoo! Ah! 278 00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:12,829 - Hoo! - [ Giggling ] 279 00:17:12,898 --> 00:17:15,958 [ Both Giggle, Groan ] 280 00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:18,298 Ah, freedom. 281 00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:21,669 - Ah, Clifford. - Will you cut that out? 282 00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:24,004 Okay, you know what? 283 00:17:24,076 --> 00:17:26,271 Don't take this the wrong way, okay? 284 00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:28,905 This is absolutely the last time I'm gonna marryyou. 285 00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:31,415 You know... 286 00:17:31,483 --> 00:17:33,474 some day our parents will be gone... 287 00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:35,918 and we'll look back on this day... 288 00:17:35,988 --> 00:17:39,014 and not miss them so much! [ Laughs ] 289 00:17:39,091 --> 00:17:42,925 That is a terrible thing to say. Say it again. 290 00:17:44,262 --> 00:17:47,163 It's scary. 291 00:17:47,232 --> 00:17:50,292 Thirtyyears ago my mother and father stood in front of a minister... 292 00:17:50,369 --> 00:17:53,497 and said the exact same words we just did, and look at them. 293 00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:56,837 That won't happen to us. 294 00:18:00,879 --> 00:18:05,009 I, Dharma Freedom Finkelstein... 295 00:18:05,083 --> 00:18:08,314 promise to never, ever become my mother. 296 00:18:08,387 --> 00:18:12,881 - Or my mother. - Like that's possible. 297 00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:15,256 I, Gregory Not-saying-the-middle-name Montgomery... 298 00:18:15,327 --> 00:18:19,423 promise that I will not bottle up my feelings for 30 years... 299 00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:22,797 and spew them like a volcano at our children's wedding. 300 00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:26,463 - Oh! That's a good one. - Thankyou. 301 00:18:26,538 --> 00:18:30,269 Okay. I promise... 302 00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:36,076 to always letyou beyou and me be me- 303 00:18:36,148 --> 00:18:41,484 - Thankyou. - As long as every now and then we get to get naked and switch. 304 00:18:42,721 --> 00:18:46,851 Uh, okay. 305 00:18:46,925 --> 00:18:49,985 And doyou promise... 306 00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:52,326 to always look at me with that light in your eyes? 307 00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:58,164 And doyou promise to always brush my hair off my face like that? 308 00:18:58,236 --> 00:19:00,227 Yes. 309 00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,705 And kiss me like that? 310 00:19:02,774 --> 00:19:05,937 You make me feel like the luckiest man in the world. 311 00:19:06,011 --> 00:19:09,105 - Yeah? - Yeah. 312 00:19:14,286 --> 00:19:16,254 The maid ofhonor cuts the cake 313 00:19:16,321 --> 00:19:18,755 The maid ofhonor cuts the cake 314 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:22,988 We don't know where the bride is, so that's who cuts the cake 315 00:19:27,332 --> 00:19:29,800 Yum. 316 00:19:29,868 --> 00:19:33,099 - Abby! - I'm not watching you eat... 317 00:19:33,171 --> 00:19:35,833 another meatball, Larry. 318 00:19:35,907 --> 00:19:39,399 - I don't feel good. - Oh, no. Come on. 319 00:19:39,478 --> 00:19:41,946 Let's go find the kitchen. I'll make you some peppermint tea. 320 00:19:42,013 --> 00:19:44,504 - With a little cake? - No cake. 321 00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:46,574 No cake. 322 00:19:49,087 --> 00:19:51,112 - Kitty. - Well, you were right, Edward. 323 00:19:51,189 --> 00:19:53,180 Nobody cares. 324 00:19:53,258 --> 00:19:55,658 The bride and groom have left the wedding. 325 00:19:55,727 --> 00:20:00,130 The ice swan looks like a fat cobra with a beak. 326 00:20:00,198 --> 00:20:03,167 Some pierced gentleman named "Turk"... 327 00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:06,568 is bobbing for bridesmaids in the reflecting pool. 328 00:20:06,638 --> 00:20:11,405 But this wedding cakeyou selected is wonderful. 329 00:20:11,476 --> 00:20:15,105 Oh, Edward, thankyou for noticing. 330 00:20:15,180 --> 00:20:19,139 However, this is a wedge of Brie. 331 00:20:19,217 --> 00:20:21,777 You're drunk, aren'tyou? 332 00:20:21,853 --> 00:20:25,345 That's what the gals in the ladies' room said. 333 00:20:26,424 --> 00:20:30,326 Oh, come on, Edward. Let's dance. 334 00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:33,831 - You got it, Green Eyes. - They're blue, Edward. 335 00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:35,890 They're blue. 26771

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