All language subtitles for Danny.Will.Die.Alone.S02E06.LGBTQP.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-Kitsune_track3_[eng]

This, folks, is dating.

This is what it is to date as
a gay man in New York City.

You head outta your house,
you get to the curb,

you pick up a steaming
pile of shit,

you walk around with it
for about 20 minutes,

and then you toss it back in
the trash where it belongs.

Though, over the last few weeks,

there has been a nice
little slow burn.

Charlie.

This was actually his
first date idea.

Walk the pup, get some
coffee, it was cute,

and that led to a second date,
movie date,

which seemed to be in a theater

as far away from our
apartments as possible.

And that destroyed
the opportunity

for my typical second
date dick inspection.

So, were we closer to
my apartment-

Then I'd be trying to
get you naked right now.

- Exactly.
- Exactly.

So, that's a bad
thing because-

'Cause I want a real
shot at longevity.

Don't you?

You know, that was sweet
and honestly correct.

Ironically, though, I had my
hole practically twitching

'cause, goddamn, that's hot.

Cut to a third date

where we started to get
into some real shit.

Like relationship history.

Last major one was for five
years, ended a few years ago,

and I've been spending
time really concentrating

on what I want out of
a relationship

and dating intentionally.

Hypothetical "Drag Race"
library challenge reads.

Danny, I see you've had
some work done.

If I were you, I'd
Tijuana my money back.

All right, Charlie,
you are such a fat slut,

that when you say
you need bread,

I don't know if you're
hungry or horny.

Family history.

Mom passed away two years ago

and my dad and I really
don't get along.

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

Any siblings?
- Nope, just me.

Thank fucking God.

So far so good, right?

Well, that's not to say
we didn't have

our fair share of disagreements.

Listen, there's the right
way, the wrong way, and-

The Janeway.

Let's get one thing straight.

The only correct order of
captains is Picard, Sisko, Kirk,

then Janeway, New Pike, Shaw,

and then all the ones
from the bad shows.

Well, it's fun while it lasted.

So, you hate women?

Wow!

- Yeah.
- Is this is our first fight?

Well, if so, I can think
of a good way to make up.

Hmm.

Unfortunately, all I got
was a super hot make-out

and some light ass grabbing.

The latter of which allowed me

to do an
investigation of my own,

and, well,

promising.

Very promising.

So, are you gonna be sad
when I'm off the market?

Too remote of a
possibility to even consider.

Oh, you're about to
eat those words.

Why?

Things going well with someone?

Yeah, very well.

I actually think the next
date might seal the deal.

Ew!

Don't be mad at me.

You choose poorly.

At least you don't settle.

Oh!

Oh, you just want me
for yourself.

I would be flattered if you
weren't an asshole about it.

Okay, whatever you
need to tell yourself.

I don't know how you
stay hopeful.

You always set yourself
up for disappointment.

Well, if anyone knows anything

about being a disappointment...

I mean, what's my other choice?

Become an emotionally
unavailable fuck machine?

Okay, I'm leaving town
Monday for work.

If you want another ride
on this fuck machine,

it's gotta be Saturday
or Sunday night.

Or?

Why not and?

Oh, now who wants who?

Fine, none.

And.

And, because I'm a
complete fucking moron,

that meant that my
Saturday date with Charlie,

which I forgot about, had
to be during the daytime,

which meant that the chances

of us finally fucking
were unlikely.

Not impossible.

I have the high libido that
lets me take two in a day,

but, I don't know,

I kind of wanna make that first
time with Charlie special.

Kinda have a full evening.

Look at me being all romantic.

So, since you nixed
the idea of Museum Day-

I am too old to
continue pretending

that I wanna go to a
fucking museum.

Girl, I know what a
painting looks like.

We might have ourselves a
wander-around-the-city day

probably for some light groping.

That sounds perfect.

Miss me?

Well, we have spent
eight hours together today

and I'm not sick of you,

so that's something.

I'd say so.

Maybe we should have
a little talk

about spending even more
time together.

Sounds like you have a
proposal for me.

I do.

But before that, maybe we
should have a little talk about

the type of relationship
that I'm looking for.

Okay.

So, my last relationship
was a five-year relationship

and it was a run-of-the-mill,
monogamous relationship.

Which is the kind of
relationship I'm looking for.

Right.

So, in the last year,

I spent a lot of time
soul-searching about my
queerness

and my identity.

Okay, I can use
they/them pronouns.

It's just gonna take
some more minding,

because, despite all
evidence to the contrary,

I'm not an asshole.

Yeah, well, I came to realize

that I'm not only identify
as gay, but also poly.

You identify as poly?

My ex couldn't handle it.

And, honestly, it was
extremely hurtful.

It's who I am,

and he wouldn't even allow
me to explore my identity.

We were together five years.

Honestly, I was shocked
and really hurt,

and that's ultimately
what led to our breakup,

and since then I've been healing

and then decide that anybody

that doesn't allow me to
be my whole self,

well, then they just can
keep on walking.

You consider poly to
be an identity?

Yeah.

LGBTQP?

Sure.

So, straight people who are
also in poly relationships,

they're now in the
queer community?

I guess.

So, an identity, not
like a relationship style?

Right.

Yeah, so that seems to
be the new tactic

that poly people use

to coerce otherwise
monogamously-minded people.

Oh, it's an identity, right?

So, if you're not into it,

you're discriminating
against them.

It's who they are, which
makes you an asshole.

No, not a difference
in relationship styles.

And that, combined with the fact

that he decided not to
bring this up

until the fourth fucking date

is extremely manipulative.

I would laugh,

if I wasn't so deeply
disappointed.

All right, so we need to
get one thing straight.

I don't-
- Danny, I really like you.

We have a great connection.

You can't deny that.

But it's possible for you
to have that connection

with other people, too.

Surely you do.

I'm sure there are people
in your life right now

that you wouldn't wanna
say goodbye to

if you got into a relationship.

And I am more than capable

of having those
relationships simultaneously.

And I bet you are, too.

Most people are.

They just deny themselves

because that's what
society taught us.

I have a lot of love to give

and I wanna experience
as much love as possible.

Who would deny themselves
that opportunity

to experience as much
love as possible?

I would never deny you that.

The best relationships are
when two people

are entirely
fulfilled and happy.

I think you know that.

And love, it can't be diluted.

It's not like I'm going to love
any partner of mine any less

just because they
increase in number.

Plus, you know how it goes.

You get with someone, you
have the honeymoon phase,

which naturally fades into
something comfortable,

so that goes away.

And the honeymoon
phase is awesome.

So, if you love someone,

why would you deny them to have
that feeling again forever?

Imagine being able to
have the intimacy

that comes with longevity,

and the excitement that
comes from new connections.

It's like having your
cake and eating it, too,

which we're taught is bad,
but why?

Why?

And I'm not going to lie

and say this is something
that's gonna be easy.

It just takes real
communication and security,

which I'm 100% down to do.

So, all that said, is this
a deal-breaker for you?

And I want you to be honest,

because it is a
deal-breaker for me.

Yeah, so you know
how this goes.

I excuse myself to the bathroom

and immediately head
for the hills,

leaving him with the check
as small compensation

for the complete waste of
my fucking time.

End of episode.

We all have a good laugh.

Like Matty said, I
get my hopes up,

and then the other shoe drops.

And that has been my
life for years,

ever since the man
that I thought

was the greatest love of my
life nearly destroyed me.

You've seen that life.

Well, you've seen a
sliver of it.

I have shown you the wildest

and most entertaining gems
of this unmitigated disaster.

The moments that you thought
could not have been real.

Trust me, they are all too real.

What I haven't shown you
are all of the ghosts.

All of the times it
didn't go terribly,

it just didn't go anywhere.

All of the guys who asked
me on a second date,

only to cancel right before

for reasons that I
will never know.

All of the guys who fucked
me and then disappeared.

And all of the guys
who revealed themselves

to be something other than
what they appeared to be.

I have not shown you the hurt.

I haven't shown you the tears.

I haven't shown you journaling
my existential dread

that I will one day
end up alone.

That I will die and no
one there to care for me.

I haven't shown you the
retirement planning I have to do

for the day that I need
help and no one's there.

Or laying awake at night,

imagining a state home
in my final days

with no one there
but the nurses,

calling out to people
who are long, long gone,

visited by no one.

All right.

Let's try.

- See you later.
- Bye.

I have a boyfriend.

Maxi!

Hello, bubba.

Daddy has a boyfriend.

Yeah!

Well, in any other
relationship I've been in,

I would have to text this man

who has given me some of the
best orgasms in my entire life,

"I hate to disappoint,

but I'm now off the market,

and must respectfully decline."

In that pompous way
that only someone

who just got into a relationship
can deliver.

I would convey my hopes

that one day our paths
would cross again.

But, today, I get too type,
"Yes, sir."

Because I am in the kind
of relationship

where I can have my cake
and eat it, too.

And, by that, I mean put my cake

back into Matty's
watering, welcoming mouth.

Oprah was right.

You can have it all.

He is the single most
aggravating person

I've ever met in my
fucking life.

Hey!

Oh, I see him.

I see him.

Oh, maybe this is a role
play scenario.

Now, usually, I like to plan
my little adventure beforehand,

but, I don't know, we've
done this so many times,

we can probably just improv.

So, what do we think?

Oh, maybe childhood bully who
reaches out to clear the air

but has a secret or...

Oh, maybe I'm being blackmailed.

Maybe I'm running for
city council

and he's going to leak my
recently unearthed sex tape

unless I make more with him.

- Hey!
- Hey.

Doing all right?

Why?

Because that's a question

normal human beings
ask each other.

Yeah, so why are
you asking it?

Will you just tell me
how your day was?

Fine.

Are you gonna ask me?

Do you want me to?

Were you dropped on your
head as a baby?

Why am I here?

Oh, if you tested
positive for something,

you can just text me.

It's really not a big deal.

How was your day?

STI-free.

Thank you for caring to ask.

Things going well with that guy?

Oh, funny you should ask.

I am delighted to inform
you that I have a boyfriend.

- What?
- I have a boyfriend.

- When?
- Yesterday.

Charlie and I spent the
day together-

- Why are you here?
- Because you told me to.

Why are you meeting me
if you have a boyfriend?

Oh, oh, yeah.

We are polyamorous.

I have entered my very first
polyamorous relationship.

You don't want that.

Well, I thought that at first.

- Why would you do that?
- Why wouldn't I?

- You don't want that.
- It's a compromise.

That's what adults do when
they wanna be together.

They communicate their
needs, they compromise,

and they find a happy middle.

Is this the kind of
relationship I wanted?

No.

Was I extremely skeptical
when he brought it up?

Yes.

But, we talked it out, made a
lot of good points about cake-

Why would you
compromise for that?

Because I wanna be in love,
Matty,

and that was the offer
on the table.

I evaluated it.

I decided I'd give it a go.

Look, I definitely had

the same opinions on
this that you do,

but, if you really
think about it,

there's no limit on the
amount of love-

Yes, there is!

Yeah, there
absolutely fucking is.

What did he say to you?

That just 'cause he loves
and fucks other people,

that means you don't get
anything less?

What?

That a relationship where
two people are totally happy

and getting
everything they want,

that's a healthy one and
you should want that?

Yes, actually.

Well, something like that.

That's a crock of shit, Danny.

You know it.

No!

No, no, the point of
a relationship

is that you give something
up for each other.

Sure, you still wanna
fuck other people

and you miss that new
relationship energy,

but you tell each other

you're gonna give
something up to be together

because there is a reward
to that kind of devotion,

and you can't get that if
you don't make the sacrifice.

That's what it's all about,
Danny.

There's a level of
intimacy that you can't get

if you're giving
pieces of yourself

and your love all away
to other people.

No, you want someone to
be entirely devoted to you

and you wanna entirely devote
yourself to someone else.

All of it.

That's what we all really want.

No, that's what you want.

Well, that's not on
offer right now.

How is this any of his
fucking business?

Yes, it is.

See, this is the problem
with long-term fuck buddies.

Just because he comes
over two to three times-

Hey, attention here!

Not there, me.

They can wait.

You're so fucking stupid.
- Fuck you!

No, we've been dating
for months, Danny.

For months.

Oh, sweetheart, that is
not dating, that's fucking.

Dating is-
- No.

Shut up.

Shut the fuck up and
listen to me

for once in your
miserable fucking life.

We've been seeing
each other what,

two, three times a week now?

And, sure, we fuck,

but it's been more than that.

It's become more than that.

Matty, we weren't dating.

And dating is agreeing to
meet, grabbing a coffee,

checking your vibes,

then you maybe agree to a
longer dinner,

spend more time to
get each other,

maybe then you start fucking-

No, that's your
fucking problem.

You're so tied to how you
think things really should be,

that you are
completely oblivious

to anything outside of that.

I've been here the whole
fucking time, Danny.

I fell in love with
you, you dumb cum slut.

Why?

It's a good fucking question!

How dare he speak
to me that way?

Why isn't he fucking
me right now?

Matty!

Matty, Matty, Matty!

Matty!

This is your fucking fault.
- And how do you figure that?

You coulda asked me
at any point.

At any point you could
have asked me out.

What do you think this is?

"Hey, slut, come meet
me at this restaurant,

'cause I'm gonna be hungry."

That's your way of asking
me to be in a relationship?

Yeah, yeah, what would
you have said?

What would you have said
if I was straight up?

You would've turned me down

'cause you liked the
regular dick

and you wouldn't wanna
fuck that up.

Fuck!

Now, you've gotten
yourself into the shadow

of the kind of relationship
you wanna be in,

so you wouldn't even have
to give it up.

You wouldn't have risked it

because you didn't think
it was worth it.

I do.

I did.

- Matty.
- No.

I am in a polyamorous
relationship.

If you wanna still try, I can.

I don't want that shit.

I want someone who is
entirely devoted to me.

Just me.

'Cause I deserve that
and so do you.

- Matt-
- No, no, no, fuck this.

Fuck you!

Fuck you, you only ever
saw me as one thing.

You know what?

I have listened to you
complain for months

about being single.

I've listened to you complain
about all these fucking losers

that you've gone out with,
as if they're the problem.

But no, Danny, you're
the problem.

You're the reason
you're still single.

The only person to blame is you.

You fucked it all up, Danny.

Well, fuck him!

Fuck him!

Where does he...

As if he...

Fuck!

I'm the problem.

He's the problem.

As if I could, whatever.

As if I couldn't replace
him in a minute.

I'll get on the apps.

I'll find a new fuck friend
by the end of the day.

As if he's so fucking special.

♪ Back when you were mine

♪ We shared a dirty mind

♪ It didn't stop us from
arguing all the time ♪

♪ When you cross the line ♪

♪ We just take off our clothes

♪ Take some time to get close

♪ Life entertained

♪ That's just the
way love goes ♪

♪ We used to get close ♪

♪ Sometimes the story goes

♪ We used to get close ♪

♪ Life is seldom fair ♪

♪ Gives you love
beyond compare ♪

♪ Of memories of fingers
through your hair ♪