Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,172 --> 00:00:06,620
Oh, welcome. No, no,
come in, come in, come in.
2
00:00:06,620 --> 00:00:08,413
So today's actually a
really special day
3
00:00:08,413 --> 00:00:10,896
and I'm glad you're
here to join me for it.
4
00:00:10,896 --> 00:00:13,206
You see, every few months,
5
00:00:13,206 --> 00:00:16,655
typically on the the
harvest moon,
6
00:00:16,655 --> 00:00:19,896
I enter a phase of my life
that's, well, as
7
00:00:19,896 --> 00:00:21,103
unexpected to me
8
00:00:21,103 --> 00:00:23,413
as it's gonna be to all of you.
9
00:00:23,413 --> 00:00:28,068
Friends, I am excited
today to welcome you
10
00:00:28,068 --> 00:00:31,758
to the beginning of my top era.
11
00:00:33,137 --> 00:00:35,482
Now, you know as well as
I do, I love nothing more
12
00:00:35,482 --> 00:00:38,172
than to be spit roasted by a
pair of Brazilian tourists.
13
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:42,620
But every now and then I
get this incessant need
14
00:00:42,620 --> 00:00:47,793
to take out the internalized
homophobia inside every gay man
15
00:00:47,793 --> 00:00:50,137
by rearranging the insides
16
00:00:50,137 --> 00:00:52,586
of a peppy musical
theater bottom.
17
00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:55,172
Now, this is all of
course just in good fun,
18
00:00:55,172 --> 00:00:59,275
but unfortunately,
sometimes I convince myself
19
00:00:59,275 --> 00:01:02,103
that I would have an easier
time finding a partner
20
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,931
if I start dating bottoms,
foolishly believing
21
00:01:04,931 --> 00:01:08,448
that I would ever be happy
being the top in a relationship,
22
00:01:08,448 --> 00:01:12,275
only to have that delusion
inevitably come crashing down.
23
00:01:13,379 --> 00:01:15,137
It's kind of like when
you have a hookup
24
00:01:15,137 --> 00:01:16,655
and then immediately
after you realize,
25
00:01:16,655 --> 00:01:19,379
"Ugh, that I shoulda just
jerked off and read a book."
26
00:01:20,551 --> 00:01:23,172
And the thing is, I'm
actually pretty good at it,
27
00:01:23,172 --> 00:01:25,413
because as a bottom myself,
28
00:01:25,413 --> 00:01:27,241
I know what one
wants from a top.
29
00:01:27,241 --> 00:01:31,448
Fuck, daddy, you are so
aggressive yet attentive.
30
00:01:31,448 --> 00:01:35,482
It was really sweet that
you wanted me to come too.
31
00:01:35,482 --> 00:01:38,137
I'm not even bleeding and
I didn't even pass out once.
32
00:01:38,137 --> 00:01:41,000
And more than that, as
I've grown older,
33
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,896
I've actually become
quite the draw
34
00:01:42,896 --> 00:01:45,068
as a potential top husband.
35
00:01:45,068 --> 00:01:46,793
You know, I'm
sufficiently muscly,
36
00:01:46,793 --> 00:01:50,137
I've got this beard going
on, so like, daddy vibes.
37
00:01:50,137 --> 00:01:52,275
I have this six figure salary
38
00:01:52,275 --> 00:01:57,137
and I can fit the problematic
preference for masculinity.
39
00:01:57,137 --> 00:01:59,413
So long as a Janet Jackson
song isn't been playing.
40
00:01:59,413 --> 00:02:02,034
So, you know, it's
quite unfortunate
41
00:02:02,034 --> 00:02:03,689
I can't really stick
the landing.
42
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,241
Yeah, this one's been
sniffing around
43
00:02:07,241 --> 00:02:09,344
ever since he started
working here.
44
00:02:09,344 --> 00:02:11,896
He's done some very classic
bottom mating calls.
45
00:02:12,827 --> 00:02:14,482
Just looking for a paperclip.
46
00:02:14,482 --> 00:02:16,482
Don't you just love
my new shoes?
47
00:02:16,482 --> 00:02:19,448
Have I ever told you how I
don't have a relationship
48
00:02:19,448 --> 00:02:20,413
with my dad?
49
00:02:21,206 --> 00:02:22,724
But in each of
those instances,
50
00:02:22,724 --> 00:02:24,827
I was not yet in my top era.
51
00:02:24,827 --> 00:02:28,172
And so it was as attractive
to me as a biological woman,
52
00:02:28,172 --> 00:02:30,655
or whatever Marjorie
Taylor Green is.
53
00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:35,310
But now that the top
era is upon us,
54
00:02:36,413 --> 00:02:38,620
I wanna put a baby in there.
55
00:02:38,620 --> 00:02:39,965
Fuck!
- What?
56
00:02:39,965 --> 00:02:41,068
Oh, nothing.
57
00:02:41,068 --> 00:02:42,655
Did I staple them wrong again?
58
00:02:42,655 --> 00:02:44,068
Please don't throw the
stapler at me,
59
00:02:44,068 --> 00:02:45,724
I'm not even halfway
through my deductible.
60
00:02:45,724 --> 00:02:47,068
No, no, that's not-
61
00:02:47,068 --> 00:02:48,137
What?
62
00:02:51,103 --> 00:02:52,241
I wanna fuck you.
63
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,793
Cool.
Meet me out front at like six.
64
00:02:57,793 --> 00:02:58,655
Yeah. That works.
65
00:02:58,655 --> 00:02:59,689
Cool.
66
00:02:59,689 --> 00:03:00,724
I love being gay.
67
00:03:03,379 --> 00:03:06,379
Honestly, I didn't
even think you liked me.
68
00:03:06,379 --> 00:03:07,586
Why do you say that?
69
00:03:07,586 --> 00:03:11,931
Hmm, the yelling,
the public humiliation.
70
00:03:11,931 --> 00:03:14,862
That time I had a typo in one
of my emails and you asked me
71
00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:17,310
if I "Was the result
of a flubbed abortion."
72
00:03:17,310 --> 00:03:21,172
I was just teasing.
It's just flirty banter.
73
00:03:21,172 --> 00:03:22,620
No, I've always had
my eye on you.
74
00:03:23,896 --> 00:03:27,206
So, I imagine we're
going back to my place,
75
00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:29,241
since as a paralegal, you
probably have like
76
00:03:29,241 --> 00:03:30,551
four roommates.
77
00:03:30,551 --> 00:03:35,448
Well, yeah, but I'm kind
of over hookup culture.
78
00:03:36,241 --> 00:03:37,068
Oh no.
79
00:03:37,068 --> 00:03:38,620
I mean, I'm no prude, but.
80
00:03:38,620 --> 00:03:40,241
Oh no, he's not one of these.
81
00:03:40,241 --> 00:03:42,551
I think I would feel more
comfortable if first we-
82
00:03:42,551 --> 00:03:44,758
Ah, Jesus fucking Christ.
83
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:46,724
Had a date first.
84
00:03:49,655 --> 00:03:52,965
I shoulda known.
Bottom entrapment.
85
00:03:52,965 --> 00:03:54,344
I mean, you are single, right?
86
00:03:54,344 --> 00:03:55,827
- Yep.
- Alrighty then.
87
00:03:56,965 --> 00:03:59,586
So let's have an adventure
88
00:04:02,620 --> 00:04:05,137
Blinded by my desire
to paint his insides,
89
00:04:05,137 --> 00:04:08,758
I failed to recognize the
signs of bottom entrapment.
90
00:04:09,793 --> 00:04:12,551
You see, dating's rough
on all gay people
91
00:04:12,551 --> 00:04:14,206
regardless of your
preferred position.
92
00:04:14,206 --> 00:04:15,758
But we've each developed
different ways
93
00:04:15,758 --> 00:04:17,896
to try to secure a
potential partner.
94
00:04:17,896 --> 00:04:20,241
Bottoms, for instance,
will hit you with a barrage
95
00:04:20,241 --> 00:04:22,517
of hole picks and
vulgar sexting.
96
00:04:22,517 --> 00:04:24,931
And then at that moment
of consummation,
97
00:04:24,931 --> 00:04:28,896
quickly change it around
and suddenly ask for a date,
98
00:04:28,896 --> 00:04:32,827
thereby forcing a courtship
based on sexual duress.
99
00:04:33,896 --> 00:04:37,482
And so I am going to do
the only honorable thing
100
00:04:37,482 --> 00:04:40,724
anyone can do when faced
with bottom entrapment.
101
00:04:42,862 --> 00:04:44,931
I'll play along until I
can breed him.
102
00:04:46,172 --> 00:04:47,758
You know I'm not a good person.
103
00:04:49,172 --> 00:04:51,793
Now, isn't this romantic?
104
00:04:51,793 --> 00:04:55,655
Barefoot in the sand,
waiting for the sunset.
105
00:04:55,655 --> 00:04:58,655
And it all started with
"I want to fuck you."
106
00:04:58,655 --> 00:05:00,137
Can't wait to tell
the grandkids.
107
00:05:00,137 --> 00:05:04,827
Ah, and you want kids?
You are perfect.
108
00:05:04,827 --> 00:05:09,758
I've always thought of three
girls, Katie, Miley and Demi.
109
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:11,793
They're pop stars.
110
00:05:11,793 --> 00:05:15,275
That's very sweet.
I want zero children.
111
00:05:15,275 --> 00:05:17,310
Better yet, negative children.
112
00:05:17,310 --> 00:05:18,758
Like every time that I come,
113
00:05:18,758 --> 00:05:21,379
I would like a child to
disappear off the face
114
00:05:21,379 --> 00:05:22,482
of the Earth.
115
00:05:22,482 --> 00:05:24,310
And if we can move this
charade along,
116
00:05:24,310 --> 00:05:26,310
pretty sure I can
vanish at least two.
117
00:05:26,310 --> 00:05:29,275
So what's our next adventure?
118
00:05:29,275 --> 00:05:30,620
Could it be butt fucking?
119
00:05:30,620 --> 00:05:33,862
I really want to, but I
think I like you
120
00:05:35,379 --> 00:05:38,655
and I wanna see where this
is going first.
121
00:05:38,655 --> 00:05:41,724
But if we build more of
a foundation,
122
00:05:41,724 --> 00:05:44,034
maybe it'll make our
first time even better.
123
00:05:45,310 --> 00:05:47,758
Mixed signals.
124
00:05:47,758 --> 00:05:50,793
Right, so how about we
head back to my place,
125
00:05:50,793 --> 00:05:53,758
but just to the rooftop
to have drinks.
126
00:05:53,758 --> 00:05:56,620
That way I can be that much
closer to splitting him in half.
127
00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:59,103
See? I knew you were romantic.
128
00:06:05,344 --> 00:06:07,137
Guess whose idea the
candles were?
129
00:06:08,655 --> 00:06:12,068
"I want to fuck you."
That's what I said, right?
130
00:06:12,068 --> 00:06:13,172
Like, am I crazy?
131
00:06:14,724 --> 00:06:16,724
Oh, but I'm so happy that
instead of that,
132
00:06:16,724 --> 00:06:19,931
I've spent the last hour
hearing every horrible thing
133
00:06:19,931 --> 00:06:20,827
about his ex-boyfriend,
134
00:06:20,827 --> 00:06:22,931
who I can only assume
killed himself.
135
00:06:22,931 --> 00:06:27,448
So is it kinda getting
a little late?
136
00:06:38,482 --> 00:06:39,965
When's date two?
137
00:06:39,965 --> 00:06:42,793
Don't you think we should
get through this one first?
138
00:06:43,689 --> 00:06:45,448
I mean, it's
getting pretty late.
139
00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:47,034
Maybe I should be getting home
140
00:06:47,034 --> 00:06:50,068
Without getting to the
initial, and in my view,
141
00:06:50,068 --> 00:06:52,586
solitary reason for the evening?
142
00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:55,344
I mean, this way it pretty
much guarantees a second date,
143
00:06:55,344 --> 00:06:56,379
doesn't it?
144
00:06:57,448 --> 00:07:00,482
Which could be Saturday?
145
00:07:01,620 --> 00:07:04,448
Ah, we could spend the
whole day together.
146
00:07:04,448 --> 00:07:05,689
I would have to
check my schedule,
147
00:07:05,689 --> 00:07:08,448
but I will definitely
let you know.
148
00:07:08,448 --> 00:07:12,103
I mean, okay. Sure, I guess.
149
00:07:15,586 --> 00:07:17,172
Are there any cameras up here?
150
00:07:18,551 --> 00:07:19,896
Not as far as I know.
151
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:25,724
Oh, ooh.
152
00:07:35,068 --> 00:07:37,310
So, Saturday?
153
00:07:37,310 --> 00:07:39,413
I will definitely
let you know.
154
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:48,482
Brad always loved how I
gave him head.
155
00:07:48,482 --> 00:07:50,862
I could like literally
do it for hours.
156
00:07:50,862 --> 00:07:53,275
One time Brad and I went hiking
157
00:07:53,275 --> 00:07:55,517
and we found this little
secluded area.
158
00:07:55,517 --> 00:07:57,620
Saturday would be great.
159
00:08:03,586 --> 00:08:05,000
Entrapment.
160
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,655
You're gonna save that
for me for Saturday?
161
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:11,448
Oh yeah, I'm definitely
not going to jerk off
162
00:08:11,448 --> 00:08:12,758
the second that you leave.
163
00:08:14,482 --> 00:08:16,931
Personally, I love it when
a guy gets me to orgasm
164
00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:19,689
and then suddenly says
he has to go.
165
00:08:19,689 --> 00:08:21,758
It's actually my favorite.
166
00:08:21,758 --> 00:08:24,379
Hmm, I was tempted to
finish things,
167
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:25,862
but it's pretty late.
168
00:08:25,862 --> 00:08:27,689
Yeah, I really
regret saying that.
169
00:08:27,689 --> 00:08:31,000
So, what if I spend the night?
170
00:08:33,275 --> 00:08:37,586
Danger. Oh, this is the Hail
Mary of bottom entrapment.
171
00:08:37,586 --> 00:08:39,172
You finally agree to go
to pound town,
172
00:08:39,172 --> 00:08:43,689
but only in exchange for the
intimacy of spending the night.
173
00:08:44,965 --> 00:08:47,793
I will never understand how
anyone could want to cuddle
174
00:08:47,793 --> 00:08:49,586
with someone they just met.
175
00:08:49,586 --> 00:08:53,862
Like, ew, gross. I don't
know you, you're a stranger.
176
00:08:53,862 --> 00:08:56,793
Why would I want that kind
of intimacy with a stranger?
177
00:08:56,793 --> 00:08:59,586
Just take out your dick
and fuck me. Grow up.
178
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:07,965
Just think, all night with this.
179
00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:17,655
Goddamn top era.
180
00:09:20,172 --> 00:09:22,344
Oh, oh yeah, you want that,
don't you?
181
00:09:22,344 --> 00:09:24,034
Yes, Daddy.
182
00:09:24,034 --> 00:09:27,206
Daddy? Oh, you gonna
be a good boy for Daddy?
183
00:09:27,206 --> 00:09:28,758
A very good boy, Daddy.
184
00:09:28,758 --> 00:09:30,551
Yeah, then you gotta
let daddy inside.
185
00:09:30,551 --> 00:09:31,724
You gonna let Daddy inside?
186
00:09:31,724 --> 00:09:33,793
You can have whatever
you want, Daddy.
187
00:09:35,068 --> 00:09:36,379
On Saturday.
188
00:09:48,793 --> 00:09:51,724
So, you should know
that I told HR
189
00:09:51,724 --> 00:09:54,172
that you've made a
hostile work environment,
190
00:09:54,172 --> 00:09:57,793
by making unwanted
sexual advancements.
191
00:09:57,793 --> 00:10:00,620
I've also told all the
paralegals that you
192
00:10:00,620 --> 00:10:01,655
are a predator
193
00:10:01,655 --> 00:10:03,689
and no one should work with you.
194
00:10:04,724 --> 00:10:06,034
I also tagged you in
a Twitter feed
195
00:10:06,034 --> 00:10:10,137
detailing your harassment
and a reel on Instagram
196
00:10:10,137 --> 00:10:12,000
where I was very brave
197
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,344
and recalled what a nightmare
this has been for me,
198
00:10:14,344 --> 00:10:18,724
and how you have emotionally
scarred me for life.
199
00:10:18,724 --> 00:10:21,586
So I really hope
you're happy with.
200
00:10:25,965 --> 00:10:28,275
Top era over.
15191
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof