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1
00:00:08,793 --> 00:00:10,896
Third date bitches.
2
00:00:10,896 --> 00:00:13,689
Hence the more casual attire.
3
00:00:13,689 --> 00:00:15,068
Met Jason over here at CrossFit.
4
00:00:15,068 --> 00:00:17,103
I usually don't talk
to anybody at CrossFit
5
00:00:17,103 --> 00:00:19,689
because I find the toxic
masculinity rampant
6
00:00:19,689 --> 00:00:23,551
in here revolting, but if
anybody does get through my
7
00:00:23,551 --> 00:00:25,931
"Don't you fucking dare
talk to me" aura;
8
00:00:25,931 --> 00:00:27,551
I will at least be pleasant.
9
00:00:28,620 --> 00:00:31,482
I think you could lift
more weight than that.
10
00:00:31,482 --> 00:00:34,655
Yeah, but I don't have
anything to prove to my father.
11
00:00:34,655 --> 00:00:35,793
Oh boy.
12
00:00:35,793 --> 00:00:37,827
If it's an issue with
your forearms,
13
00:00:37,827 --> 00:00:39,137
you should try a hook grip.
14
00:00:39,137 --> 00:00:42,206
Oh, just what I love;
unsolicited mansplaining.
15
00:00:42,206 --> 00:00:47,000
'Cause clearly, it's no
issue with your legs or glutes.
16
00:00:47,862 --> 00:00:49,172
No, it's actually
my lower back.
17
00:00:49,172 --> 00:00:51,551
I get a little twinge
and so I'd rather not,
18
00:00:52,517 --> 00:00:54,551
did he just say I
have a nice ass?
19
00:00:55,965 --> 00:00:58,206
Why are you looking at
my glutes, bro?
20
00:01:02,482 --> 00:01:06,620
This way you can move
the bar
21
00:01:06,620 --> 00:01:10,137
with more security and
move some heavier weight.
22
00:01:11,827 --> 00:01:14,482
Oh, so like, grip it
like I'm masturbating.
23
00:01:14,482 --> 00:01:16,413
I mean, I think I know
where you're going with that,
24
00:01:16,413 --> 00:01:18,206
but personally I can't relate
25
00:01:18,206 --> 00:01:19,586
because I've never met anyone
26
00:01:19,586 --> 00:01:22,103
who can fit their whole
hands around mine.
27
00:01:23,310 --> 00:01:24,172
Bless.
28
00:01:25,448 --> 00:01:28,827
You undo all the work we
just did by drinking that.
29
00:01:28,827 --> 00:01:30,034
It's a protein shake.
30
00:01:30,034 --> 00:01:31,758
I'm getting games, bruh.
31
00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:34,620
It's practically a peanut
butter ice cream sundae.
32
00:01:34,620 --> 00:01:36,068
Yeah, and that's
practically a salad.
33
00:01:36,068 --> 00:01:39,931
- Yes, a healthy salad.
- Liquid salad's gross.
34
00:01:39,931 --> 00:01:41,344
I mean, if you have
any complaints
35
00:01:41,344 --> 00:01:44,655
on how this is impacting my
body, I'm happy to take them.
36
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:49,862
- No complaints here.
- Right, so shut up.
37
00:01:56,551 --> 00:01:59,000
Don't you see fat
people walking sometimes
38
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:01,310
and you just want to
punch them in the back
39
00:02:01,310 --> 00:02:03,517
of the head for moving so slow?
40
00:02:03,517 --> 00:02:04,413
No!
41
00:02:05,655 --> 00:02:09,655
Uh, well, imagine how people
must feel about your cock,
42
00:02:09,655 --> 00:02:11,620
from what I'm told.
43
00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:14,344
I mean, I'd invite
you to find out,
44
00:02:14,344 --> 00:02:17,275
but considering the repartee
we have going on here,
45
00:02:17,275 --> 00:02:19,517
maybe we should get
dinner a couple of times
46
00:02:19,517 --> 00:02:22,068
and see if we actually
like each other.
47
00:02:22,068 --> 00:02:23,413
Well, I am free this weekend
48
00:02:23,413 --> 00:02:26,310
and I already gave
you my number.
49
00:02:27,310 --> 00:02:30,724
Perfect.
50
00:02:32,896 --> 00:02:35,689
Hey, remember it's 2022.
51
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,862
People aren't jerks anymore; no,
no, no.
52
00:02:37,862 --> 00:02:40,413
We have to understand where
people are coming from.
53
00:02:40,413 --> 00:02:43,275
You know; be better,
do the work.
54
00:02:43,275 --> 00:02:45,000
I mean, he's obviously
got body image issues,
55
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,620
which he's projecting onto
people who have a body image
56
00:02:47,620 --> 00:02:49,827
that he's deathly
afraid of becoming.
57
00:02:49,827 --> 00:02:53,172
So, you know, I can't
just dismiss him summarily
58
00:02:53,172 --> 00:02:55,000
for one shitty comment.
59
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,206
You know, I've gotta,
60
00:02:56,206 --> 00:02:59,793
I gotta meet him where
he is, with empathy.
61
00:03:04,034 --> 00:03:05,413
I wanna see it!
62
00:03:07,758 --> 00:03:08,965
I wanna see it.
63
00:03:11,448 --> 00:03:12,689
- Sorry.
- If you were this late
64
00:03:12,689 --> 00:03:14,551
to CrossFit, they would
not let you in.
65
00:03:16,103 --> 00:03:20,000
Some kid jumped the turnstile
on the NW, so I got delayed.
66
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,137
He jumped the turnstile
67
00:03:21,137 --> 00:03:24,448
and then like, in front
of the train?
68
00:03:24,448 --> 00:03:26,482
No, I was just
having a hard time
69
00:03:26,482 --> 00:03:29,482
finding a station attendant
who actually cared.
70
00:03:29,482 --> 00:03:31,758
But then I found a cop who
just took it from there.
71
00:03:31,758 --> 00:03:36,344
You narc'd on someone
who jumped a turnstile?
72
00:03:36,344 --> 00:03:39,103
Have you seen how bad
the crime rate has gotten
73
00:03:39,103 --> 00:03:42,068
in New York City since
the pandemic?
74
00:03:42,068 --> 00:03:43,379
I mean, I have failed to learn
75
00:03:43,379 --> 00:03:45,379
about the great
turnstile epidemic.
76
00:03:45,379 --> 00:03:48,000
Giuliani may be
a shit show now,
77
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:52,206
but he was the best mayor
this town has ever had.
78
00:03:52,206 --> 00:03:54,137
I'm a lifelong New Yorker, okay?
79
00:03:54,137 --> 00:03:57,931
I know, and his whole
thing was law and order.
80
00:03:57,931 --> 00:03:59,448
You've got to have
law
81
00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:01,344
and you've got to have order.
82
00:04:01,344 --> 00:04:03,413
Preferably with
Mariska Hargitay.
83
00:04:03,413 --> 00:04:04,620
His whole theory was
84
00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:06,793
that if you let somebody
break a small rule,
85
00:04:06,793 --> 00:04:09,793
they're just gonna end
up breaking bigger rules.
86
00:04:09,793 --> 00:04:11,965
You have to crack down
hard at the beginning
87
00:04:11,965 --> 00:04:13,965
or the city just becomes chaos.
88
00:04:13,965 --> 00:04:16,862
Yeah, I mean, I guess
I have seen the research
89
00:04:16,862 --> 00:04:18,137
that links turnstile jumping
90
00:04:18,137 --> 00:04:20,551
as the gateway crime to
mass homicide.
91
00:04:21,482 --> 00:04:23,758
I know you're joking,
92
00:04:23,758 --> 00:04:27,000
but really, you should
do the research.
93
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:31,551
Seriously, you're better than
these leftist talking points.
94
00:04:31,551 --> 00:04:34,448
I have a Rogan episode that
walks through the whole thing.
95
00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:35,137
I'll send it to you.
96
00:04:35,137 --> 00:04:36,172
Can't wait.
97
00:04:36,172 --> 00:04:38,724
Are you familiar
with Ben Shapiro?
98
00:04:38,724 --> 00:04:40,551
Personally? No.
99
00:04:40,551 --> 00:04:43,862
His very public transphobic
bigotry?
100
00:04:43,862 --> 00:04:44,758
Mhm.
101
00:04:44,758 --> 00:04:47,241
That is an oversimplification
102
00:04:47,241 --> 00:04:49,172
of a legitimate point he has.
103
00:04:49,172 --> 00:04:52,793
I mean, you may
disagree with it.
104
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:56,482
It's like what they did
to JK Rowling.
105
00:04:56,482 --> 00:04:58,758
Did you actually read
what she wrote?
106
00:04:58,758 --> 00:05:01,000
Not just the press
coverage of it?
107
00:05:04,758 --> 00:05:06,482
You think Biden's
gonna run again?
108
00:05:06,482 --> 00:05:08,586
I mean, I hate Trump,
109
00:05:08,586 --> 00:05:11,724
but I don't think I could
ever vote for Kamala.
110
00:05:11,724 --> 00:05:13,275
You just can't help yourself,
can you?
111
00:05:13,275 --> 00:05:15,551
You can't help but
evade the subject
112
00:05:15,551 --> 00:05:17,275
whenever it comes up.
- It doesn't come up.
113
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:20,137
You bring it up and I'm
pretty sure you know
114
00:05:20,137 --> 00:05:21,655
that I disagree with you
on those things.
115
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:24,827
And the fact that you
avoid the subject
116
00:05:24,827 --> 00:05:28,068
tells me that your
arguments hold no water.
117
00:05:29,137 --> 00:05:32,068
You'll do better.
118
00:05:32,068 --> 00:05:34,068
You're not dumb, I have faith.
119
00:05:36,689 --> 00:05:37,724
You wanna watch something?
120
00:05:37,724 --> 00:05:39,655
Yes, I think
changing the subject
121
00:05:39,655 --> 00:05:42,206
will increase the chances of
me seeing your cock tonight.
122
00:05:42,206 --> 00:05:44,137
I'm surprised you
haven't seen it
123
00:05:44,137 --> 00:05:46,068
because it has become
more visible
124
00:05:46,068 --> 00:05:48,034
in the last couple of minutes.
125
00:05:55,620 --> 00:05:58,206
Oh, he would get
hard from this!
126
00:05:58,206 --> 00:05:59,413
These Federal Society faggots,
127
00:05:59,413 --> 00:06:02,862
they always find me.
128
00:06:07,586 --> 00:06:10,689
I don't think I can fuck
this guy anymore!
129
00:06:10,689 --> 00:06:13,482
Seriously,
you'd vote for Kamala?
130
00:06:13,482 --> 00:06:14,724
Please stop talking.
131
00:06:14,724 --> 00:06:17,103
I would vote for a
democratic cheese sandwich
132
00:06:17,103 --> 00:06:19,344
over the alternative.
133
00:06:19,344 --> 00:06:21,448
I mean,
134
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:25,103
if that's the two party
system, that's pretty sad.
135
00:06:26,758 --> 00:06:29,310
I cannot overstate how
nice his dick is.
136
00:06:29,310 --> 00:06:33,137
Just promise me that you'll
vote for Buttigieg if he runs.
137
00:06:33,137 --> 00:06:34,586
I'm sure if he's
the candidate,
138
00:06:34,586 --> 00:06:36,655
but I don't
particularly like him.
139
00:06:36,655 --> 00:06:38,172
What?
140
00:06:38,172 --> 00:06:39,413
You won't support a
gay candidate?
141
00:06:39,413 --> 00:06:40,551
I don't care that he's gay.
142
00:06:40,551 --> 00:06:42,551
I care that his core
political philosophy
143
00:06:42,551 --> 00:06:45,379
seems to be, "Become president."
144
00:06:45,379 --> 00:06:47,310
Oh, so you like authenticity.
145
00:06:47,310 --> 00:06:49,413
Yeah! Yes, yes, yes!
146
00:06:49,413 --> 00:06:52,172
I really gotta get you
into Ben Shapiro.
147
00:06:52,172 --> 00:06:54,344
He's a bigot!
148
00:06:54,344 --> 00:06:56,034
Yeah, right there.
149
00:06:56,034 --> 00:06:58,103
Oh yeah. Oh, I'm so close.
150
00:06:58,103 --> 00:07:00,655
So close. Oh, I'm close!
151
00:07:11,034 --> 00:07:14,206
Alright, well now
that I've gotten what I want
152
00:07:14,206 --> 00:07:15,862
and he's released
his floodgates;
153
00:07:15,862 --> 00:07:16,896
I will now release
the floodgates
154
00:07:16,896 --> 00:07:18,413
that have been keeping
the full brunt
155
00:07:18,413 --> 00:07:21,413
of my personality at bay
for the last several weeks,
156
00:07:21,413 --> 00:07:23,758
and give him the
piece of my mind
157
00:07:23,758 --> 00:07:27,724
that he deserves.
158
00:07:27,724 --> 00:07:29,517
I think I'm gonna head out.
159
00:07:30,586 --> 00:07:32,620
I'm
not in a rush.
160
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:35,620
I-
- This was fun, really.
161
00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:38,034
But I don't think we're
a good match.
162
00:07:38,034 --> 00:07:41,344
- Oh, well, yeah, but-
- I'll see you around.
163
00:07:46,172 --> 00:07:49,551
Also not voting for Buttigieg,
164
00:07:49,551 --> 00:07:52,275
doesn't that kind of make
you the bigot?
165
00:07:56,896 --> 00:07:59,482
Ah!
166
00:08:13,862 --> 00:08:14,758
Oh!
167
00:08:16,827 --> 00:08:18,827
It was still worth it.
12381
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