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1
00:00:19,103 --> 00:00:21,103
Shameless self-promotion.
2
00:00:21,103 --> 00:00:23,000
Some people made sourdough
during the pandemic,
3
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,206
I decided that 39 was
the perfect time
4
00:00:25,206 --> 00:00:27,379
to break into the
music industry.
5
00:00:27,379 --> 00:00:30,482
Buoyed by unemployment
and a devastating breakup,
6
00:00:30,482 --> 00:00:33,448
I had a lot of time and a
lot of feelings.
7
00:00:33,448 --> 00:00:35,172
So... flash forward
8
00:00:35,172 --> 00:00:38,000
and here I am ready to
underwhelm tens of people
9
00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,758
with my original music.
10
00:00:39,758 --> 00:00:40,965
Yes, yes.
11
00:00:40,965 --> 00:00:42,206
Your eyes do not deceive you,
12
00:00:42,206 --> 00:00:45,310
you are watching a midlife
crisis in progress.
13
00:00:45,310 --> 00:00:48,103
Hi sweetie. So if you wanna
perform for more than just me
14
00:00:48,103 --> 00:00:49,862
and the bartender, you
need to go outside
15
00:00:49,862 --> 00:00:50,896
and get some people in here, okay?
16
00:00:50,896 --> 00:00:52,172
That's how it works.
17
00:00:52,172 --> 00:00:55,103
Sure. Sorry, I just
haven't done this before.
18
00:00:56,344 --> 00:00:58,724
Expectations
successfully managed.
19
00:00:58,724 --> 00:00:59,758
Go... go go.
20
00:01:02,896 --> 00:01:05,000
I'll put that behind
the DJ booth.
21
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,137
Put what?
22
00:01:06,137 --> 00:01:07,655
Your shirt.
23
00:01:07,655 --> 00:01:08,965
My shirt?
24
00:01:08,965 --> 00:01:10,275
Take off your shirt and
give it to me.
25
00:01:10,275 --> 00:01:11,862
Why would I do that?
26
00:01:11,862 --> 00:01:14,482
Sweetie, I'm sure you're very
talented, but I promise you
27
00:01:14,482 --> 00:01:16,241
absolutely nobody
cares about that.
28
00:01:16,241 --> 00:01:18,620
Trust me, I'm a drag queen
who has not been on TV yet.
29
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,172
I know.
30
00:01:20,172 --> 00:01:22,655
The only way any gay person
is gonna come in here
31
00:01:22,655 --> 00:01:25,241
and subject themselves to any
music that's not Dula Peep,
32
00:01:25,241 --> 00:01:27,620
let alone live music
from another homosexual,
33
00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:30,551
is if you lure them in with
your body and insinuate
34
00:01:30,551 --> 00:01:32,931
you might get very drunk
and let them suck you off
35
00:01:32,931 --> 00:01:34,586
in the bathroom in between sets.
36
00:01:34,586 --> 00:01:35,448
Got it?
37
00:01:46,068 --> 00:01:47,344
What a time to be alive.
38
00:01:47,344 --> 00:01:49,172
Welcome to Night Life, daddy.
39
00:01:51,655 --> 00:01:52,517
Hey.
40
00:01:54,310 --> 00:01:55,172
Hey.
41
00:01:56,379 --> 00:01:57,655
And that is why you're here.
42
00:01:57,655 --> 00:01:59,586
I think that was the first
time in like seven years
43
00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:02,206
that anyone has hit on
me in person.
44
00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:03,724
And it's not just the pandemic
45
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:06,758
or like the whole five year
relationship beforehand
46
00:02:06,758 --> 00:02:08,000
with the sociopath,
47
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,655
I just generally have
this vibe of like,
48
00:02:10,655 --> 00:02:12,896
the fuck you want?
49
00:02:12,896 --> 00:02:16,379
So, I thrive on the apps.
50
00:02:16,379 --> 00:02:18,551
I think I have to carefully
curate this experience.
51
00:02:18,551 --> 00:02:21,896
Maybe I just need to take
my shirt off more often.
52
00:02:21,896 --> 00:02:23,275
Thanks, CrossFit!
53
00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:31,275
So, bi nights are Tuesdays and
it is sexuals and not cycles.
54
00:02:31,275 --> 00:02:35,068
Dammit!
I always mix up my bi nights.
55
00:02:35,068 --> 00:02:36,896
You look cold.
56
00:02:36,896 --> 00:02:37,931
Did you say cold or old?
57
00:02:37,931 --> 00:02:39,655
No, both are correct.
58
00:02:39,655 --> 00:02:43,551
Only one is correct.
Are you a new bartender?
59
00:02:43,551 --> 00:02:44,482
Performing.
60
00:02:44,482 --> 00:02:46,551
I'm still not over the bike.
61
00:02:46,551 --> 00:02:48,413
Yeah, I was gonna meet
my friends for drinks
62
00:02:48,413 --> 00:02:50,586
but I can't find a
place to put this
63
00:02:50,586 --> 00:02:52,137
so I think I'm just
gonna move along.
64
00:02:52,137 --> 00:02:53,344
Have you noticed that
there never seemed
65
00:02:53,344 --> 00:02:55,620
to be any open docks
in all of Williamsburg?
66
00:02:55,620 --> 00:02:58,137
Well that's because everyone
rides their own unicycles.
67
00:02:58,137 --> 00:02:59,620
I'm off trend.
68
00:02:59,620 --> 00:03:02,931
I think we've successfully
overcompensated with the outfit
69
00:03:02,931 --> 00:03:04,965
and the, the mustache.
70
00:03:04,965 --> 00:03:06,517
You don't think it's cute?
71
00:03:07,793 --> 00:03:08,896
I didn't say that.
72
00:03:10,206 --> 00:03:11,275
Good.
73
00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:13,793
Well as I was saying,
74
00:03:13,793 --> 00:03:15,413
I was just gonna keep
moving along,
75
00:03:15,413 --> 00:03:19,000
but if you're performing I might
just need to figure it out.
76
00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:22,965
Oh, a fan?
77
00:03:22,965 --> 00:03:25,172
Oh, I'm definitely a fan.
78
00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:27,034
Do you think I have time
to go find somewhere
79
00:03:27,034 --> 00:03:28,689
to put this before you go on?
80
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:31,586
Absolutely.
81
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:33,827
Alright, we'll see you
in a bit, stud.
82
00:03:40,448 --> 00:03:42,275
Is the outfit a red flag?
83
00:03:42,275 --> 00:03:43,862
Yes. Is the mustache stupid?
84
00:03:43,862 --> 00:03:45,275
Absolutely.
85
00:03:45,275 --> 00:03:48,310
But as of the former, anyone
with that kind of confidence
86
00:03:48,310 --> 00:03:50,482
to wear that in public
has gotta be packing heat
87
00:03:50,482 --> 00:03:54,482
and you know mustaches feel
good on the taint, so...
88
00:03:55,620 --> 00:03:56,896
yeah, why not?
89
00:04:00,344 --> 00:04:02,034
You're like 27, 28?
90
00:04:02,034 --> 00:04:03,965
39. And you're what, 30?
91
00:04:03,965 --> 00:04:07,758
Yeah, I thought you were
my age. You don't look-
92
00:04:07,758 --> 00:04:10,068
Like I'm a year away
from daddy status?
93
00:04:10,068 --> 00:04:11,379
Yeah, apparently in your forties
94
00:04:11,379 --> 00:04:13,482
you just have to become a top,
so...
95
00:04:13,482 --> 00:04:14,965
It's gonna be a busy year.
96
00:04:14,965 --> 00:04:16,689
I volunteer as tribute.
97
00:04:20,655 --> 00:04:21,758
Are you single?
98
00:04:21,758 --> 00:04:22,448
Yes sir.
99
00:04:22,448 --> 00:04:24,103
Okay, but like how single?
100
00:04:24,103 --> 00:04:25,310
What do you mean?
101
00:04:25,310 --> 00:04:27,310
Like actually single or like
102
00:04:27,310 --> 00:04:29,896
I'm a gay 30-year-old New
Yorker in 2022,
103
00:04:29,896 --> 00:04:32,965
which means I'm in two
open-poly relationships looking
104
00:04:32,965 --> 00:04:35,413
for a tertiary to fill
every third Saturday?
105
00:04:35,413 --> 00:04:36,793
Too complicated for me.
106
00:04:36,793 --> 00:04:39,551
Or like you're single,
but like you
107
00:04:39,551 --> 00:04:41,310
and your friends
don't like labels
108
00:04:41,310 --> 00:04:43,689
so you travel in like a
pack fuck squad.
109
00:04:43,689 --> 00:04:45,448
Pass each other around
depending on the position
110
00:04:45,448 --> 00:04:46,689
of Jupiter's fifth moon?
111
00:04:46,689 --> 00:04:50,448
Again, too complicated.
Just single-single.
112
00:04:50,448 --> 00:04:52,448
Call me old fashioned
but I like to get
113
00:04:52,448 --> 00:04:53,655
to know one person at a time
114
00:04:53,655 --> 00:04:57,655
and if we get serious,
I'm sorry to say,
115
00:04:57,655 --> 00:05:00,137
but it's boring old
monogamy for me.
116
00:05:00,137 --> 00:05:01,586
Ah, but with your eye out
117
00:05:01,586 --> 00:05:02,689
for the next best thing,
I'm sure.
118
00:05:02,689 --> 00:05:04,103
Not me.
119
00:05:04,103 --> 00:05:08,000
When I see potential I like
to focus. See where it goes.
120
00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:13,620
I mean it's not every day a
handsome shirtless artist is
121
00:05:13,620 --> 00:05:16,827
just waiting for me out
on the street. So...
122
00:05:16,827 --> 00:05:19,000
Aren't you a
pleasant surprise.
123
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:22,965
Here I am thinking you
are my pleasant surprise.
124
00:05:24,137 --> 00:05:26,344
Do you need another drink?
125
00:05:26,344 --> 00:05:28,413
Before I perform? No.
126
00:05:28,413 --> 00:05:30,482
After... absolutely.
127
00:05:30,482 --> 00:05:31,724
Cool. When do you go on?
128
00:05:31,724 --> 00:05:32,655
Imminently.
129
00:05:32,655 --> 00:05:34,344
I should actually check
in with Giselle.
130
00:05:34,344 --> 00:05:36,448
Got it.
I'm gonna go grab round two
131
00:05:36,448 --> 00:05:39,344
and I'll have yours waiting
for you when you celebrate
132
00:05:39,344 --> 00:05:40,793
your killer performance.
133
00:05:44,379 --> 00:05:45,517
Break a leg.
134
00:05:48,896 --> 00:05:51,413
Fuck the apps.
Fuck the fucking apps.
135
00:05:51,413 --> 00:05:52,517
This is what you do.
136
00:05:52,517 --> 00:05:53,862
You just have to go out
into the world
137
00:05:53,862 --> 00:05:55,586
and open your arms to
the universe
138
00:05:55,586 --> 00:05:57,551
and you hold out your hands
and you know what it gives you?
139
00:05:57,551 --> 00:06:00,241
A stack of tickets for
the fucking mustache ride!
140
00:06:00,241 --> 00:06:03,206
You go on the apps because you
say to yourself, "I'm tired
141
00:06:03,206 --> 00:06:05,793
of all of these non-committal
pricks who are allergic
142
00:06:05,793 --> 00:06:08,517
to the word "date," who just
wanna chill and watch a movie
143
00:06:08,517 --> 00:06:11,689
and they just end up
fucking and ghosting you?"
144
00:06:11,689 --> 00:06:13,482
So you suck up your pride
145
00:06:13,482 --> 00:06:15,620
and you pay some money to
go to a platform
146
00:06:15,620 --> 00:06:17,206
where you think everyone
else is there to date.
147
00:06:17,206 --> 00:06:20,689
But lo and behold, it's the
same closet cases, married men,
148
00:06:20,689 --> 00:06:22,241
and mouth breathers you're
trying to avoid
149
00:06:22,241 --> 00:06:23,689
in the fucking first place!
150
00:06:24,896 --> 00:06:28,310
I guess you have
to just go into the world
151
00:06:28,310 --> 00:06:30,137
and let it happen
152
00:06:30,137 --> 00:06:32,482
and maybe take off your shirt.
153
00:06:32,482 --> 00:06:33,965
Ready, baby?
154
00:06:33,965 --> 00:06:35,344
Fuck yeah.
155
00:06:35,344 --> 00:06:36,827
I am ready for the universe.
156
00:06:36,827 --> 00:06:39,344
Apparently the universe
is ready for me.
157
00:06:39,344 --> 00:06:41,103
Half these people are
gonna walk out
158
00:06:41,103 --> 00:06:42,517
the second you open your mouth.
159
00:06:42,517 --> 00:06:44,758
Okay babe?
Let's have some perspective.
160
00:06:51,241 --> 00:06:53,344
Now in the past that
would make me feel insecure,
161
00:06:53,344 --> 00:06:57,068
but I'm far too old and my brain
is far too broken for that.
162
00:06:58,448 --> 00:07:01,275
Plus he said he likes to
focus on one person at a time
163
00:07:01,275 --> 00:07:04,448
and you know who has
focus tonight?
164
00:07:04,448 --> 00:07:06,379
This faggot.
165
00:07:06,379 --> 00:07:08,586
Ladies and gentlemen,
please welcome
166
00:07:08,586 --> 00:07:12,517
to the stage... Danny.
167
00:07:14,551 --> 00:07:17,172
Whoo!
168
00:07:17,172 --> 00:07:18,482
Jesus.
169
00:07:18,482 --> 00:07:20,517
Thank, thank, thank you,
170
00:07:20,517 --> 00:07:22,620
thank you all for having me.
171
00:07:22,620 --> 00:07:24,586
Alright, so I wrote this
song during quarantine.
172
00:07:24,586 --> 00:07:28,275
It's, it's about a breakup
that I went through,
173
00:07:28,275 --> 00:07:30,103
it was pretty devastating.
174
00:07:30,103 --> 00:07:33,482
So it's a little raw, it's
a little, little personal.
175
00:07:33,482 --> 00:07:35,241
Get
to the song!
176
00:07:36,793 --> 00:07:39,034
So it's about how I've
been feeling about men
177
00:07:39,034 --> 00:07:41,241
and relationships lately,
you know, love and all that,
178
00:07:41,241 --> 00:07:45,275
but I don't know, might
be a sea change with that.
179
00:07:45,275 --> 00:07:48,965
I think I might have a reason
to be a little more hopeful.
180
00:07:50,482 --> 00:07:52,034
Alright, so this is my new song.
181
00:07:52,034 --> 00:07:54,206
You can get it if you like
it on all the streaming
182
00:07:54,206 --> 00:07:57,586
platforms and it is called,
oh fuck you, your bike,
183
00:07:57,586 --> 00:07:59,793
your stupid fucking mustache!
184
00:08:04,655 --> 00:08:06,517
Men are full of shit!
185
00:08:06,517 --> 00:08:08,241
All of them. All of them.
186
00:08:08,241 --> 00:08:11,482
Heterosexuals, homosexuals,
pansexuals, bisexuals, asexuals,
187
00:08:11,482 --> 00:08:13,931
demi-sexuals, shit-sexuals.
188
00:08:13,931 --> 00:08:15,896
They're awful full of shit.
All of them.
189
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:17,965
And that's why I'm staying
on the apps, right?
190
00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:21,241
'Cause yeah, everyone treats
each other terribly on them,
191
00:08:21,241 --> 00:08:24,344
but at least you don't feel the
pressure to like be romantic
192
00:08:24,344 --> 00:08:26,620
or spin some fucking tale.
193
00:08:27,344 --> 00:08:28,689
It's blunt, it's cold,
194
00:08:28,689 --> 00:08:31,068
it's transactional, but
you know what?
195
00:08:31,068 --> 00:08:33,931
At least it's the fucking
truth. You have a dick.
196
00:08:33,931 --> 00:08:37,586
I have some holes.
Let's make it happen.
197
00:08:37,586 --> 00:08:40,034
I think I hate gay people.
198
00:08:40,034 --> 00:08:41,275
Girl...
14612
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