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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,481 --> 00:00:06,180 Acting is art. 2 00:00:06,310 --> 00:00:08,921 It is a metamorphosis. 3 00:00:09,052 --> 00:00:10,836 When you act you, must completely 4 00:00:10,967 --> 00:00:18,366 embody a different person, and it must be honest. 5 00:00:18,496 --> 00:00:19,758 Who am I? 6 00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:21,630 I'm the guy who plays Daniel Day-Lewis. 7 00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:28,419 I was never that good of an actor. 8 00:00:28,550 --> 00:00:32,032 I did some ads for some local chimney companies. 9 00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:34,295 Hello, do you have a clogged chimney? 10 00:00:34,425 --> 00:00:38,560 Well, I'll take care of it, no problemo. 11 00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:41,911 And I did a couple small little pornos here and there. 12 00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:46,307 Hello, do you have a clogged chimney? 13 00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:50,137 I'll take care of it no problem-- uh, uh, oh. 14 00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:52,574 It wasn't until I created this character, 15 00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:55,316 Daniel Day-Lewis, that I started to get the big roles. 16 00:00:55,446 --> 00:00:58,884 Coming up with the name was easy. 17 00:00:59,015 --> 00:01:02,845 Daniel is my middle name, Day, my favorite part of calendars, 18 00:01:02,975 --> 00:01:07,067 and Lewis because of Huey Lewis. 19 00:01:07,197 --> 00:01:12,072 I was drawn to the script, script, wow, script, brilliant. 20 00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:17,947 Oh, I think I, think 21 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:21,559 I went with the British accent because after doing 22 00:01:21,690 --> 00:01:23,474 all those chimney commercials just came in second nature, 23 00:01:23,605 --> 00:01:24,345 you know. 24 00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:31,395 So I sit in makeup for 3 hours every morning 25 00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:35,399 and like magic, I am transformed. 26 00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:39,447 So if you look to Daniel Day-Lewis as a great actor, 27 00:01:39,577 --> 00:01:44,278 you are actually looking to me, Anthony Stinky, 28 00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:50,675 because I am Daniel Day-Lewis, and I am a great actor. 29 00:01:54,288 --> 00:01:58,118 Oh, and also, I still do pornos sometimes. 30 00:02:00,598 --> 00:02:02,644 Our customers love the flexibility of Airbnb, 31 00:02:02,774 --> 00:02:05,429 but some people are looking for even more rental options. 32 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,954 That's why we're introducing Airbnb Express, which gives you 33 00:02:09,085 --> 00:02:13,002 only the best part of Airbnb, going in a stranger's apartment 34 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,221 and looking through their stuff. 35 00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:15,178 Crocs? 36 00:02:15,309 --> 00:02:16,048 Really? 37 00:02:16,179 --> 00:02:17,876 He left his mail just out. 38 00:02:18,007 --> 00:02:19,139 I'm going to go through it, right? 39 00:02:19,269 --> 00:02:20,879 We know you like to look around. 40 00:02:21,010 --> 00:02:22,359 We're just making it easier. 41 00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:25,319 With Airbnb Express, you can book for just an hour or two, 42 00:02:25,449 --> 00:02:27,799 plenty of time to pop in and judge all their stuff. 43 00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:28,670 Check it out. 44 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:32,239 He owns Chvrches on vinyl. 45 00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:34,328 He keeps them both in the same bag? 46 00:02:34,458 --> 00:02:36,852 This guy's family is super ugly. 47 00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:39,811 Babe, this is my impression of this guy waking up. 48 00:02:39,942 --> 00:02:43,946 Uh, I'm alone again. 49 00:02:44,076 --> 00:02:45,861 Airbnb Express even gets you access 50 00:02:45,991 --> 00:02:48,733 to that special locked closet that you're 51 00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:50,126 not supposed to go in. 52 00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:51,127 - Oh, this is going to be weird. - Open it. 53 00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:52,781 Do it. - Ah. 54 00:02:52,911 --> 00:02:54,174 - What's in it? - Nothing. 55 00:02:54,304 --> 00:02:55,218 There's nothing in it. Don't look in that. 56 00:02:55,349 --> 00:02:56,567 No, no, no, I wanna see. 57 00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:59,962 Call it creepy, call it curious, we really don't care. 58 00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:03,270 Airbnb Express, start snooping. 59 00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:15,717 There are millions of stories in the world. 60 00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:17,936 Some are told through desperate Morse code 61 00:03:18,067 --> 00:03:19,460 of a terrified soldier. 62 00:03:19,590 --> 00:03:22,071 Some are the Bible, the greatest story 63 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,247 ever told, and others can only be 64 00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:26,075 told from the trunk of a car. 65 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:28,033 This is one of those stories. 66 00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:40,002 All right, Orenthal, '92 Bronco, fully loaded, 67 00:03:40,132 --> 00:03:42,613 leather interior, white finish. 68 00:03:42,744 --> 00:03:45,094 Uh, not sure how I feel about the color though. 69 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:45,834 Let me tell you about white. 70 00:03:45,964 --> 00:03:48,097 White is nondescript. 71 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,446 No one's going to be able to see you. 72 00:03:49,577 --> 00:03:51,927 Person like you, low profile, in 5 years, 73 00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:53,755 I absolutely, 100% guarantee everyone's 74 00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:56,018 going to be driving one of these babies. 75 00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:57,802 Know what? 76 00:03:57,933 --> 00:03:58,673 I'll take it. 77 00:03:58,803 --> 00:03:59,978 That's right. 78 00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:00,936 Hey, can you sign a card for my kid? 79 00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:01,806 What? 80 00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:02,720 I don't know, Kato. 81 00:04:02,851 --> 00:04:04,766 "Naked Gun 4"? 82 00:04:04,896 --> 00:04:07,116 I don't want to be known for just doing one thing. 83 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,945 Nah, as an actor, you got to take any chance you can 84 00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:12,469 get, movies, TV, just get your face out there any way you can, 85 00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:13,557 OJ. 86 00:04:13,688 --> 00:04:15,298 You really get this, Kato. 87 00:04:15,429 --> 00:04:16,343 Testify, brother. 88 00:04:16,473 --> 00:04:17,692 - Ah, can I get a witness? - Oh. 89 00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:19,781 Oh, wait a minute. 90 00:04:19,911 --> 00:04:21,043 Let me try on these gloves. 91 00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:23,872 I think I might have got the wrong size of gloves. 92 00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:25,569 Uh, you know what? 93 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:26,483 I should take these back. 94 00:04:26,614 --> 00:04:27,528 Nah. 95 00:04:27,658 --> 00:04:28,311 Hey, man, you never know you're going 96 00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:29,138 to need another pair of gloves. 97 00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,618 You're right. 98 00:04:30,748 --> 00:04:32,750 You're right twice in a day, Kato Kaelin. 99 00:04:34,622 --> 00:04:35,753 Let me see if I can just break these in. 100 00:04:35,884 --> 00:04:36,711 Oh. 101 00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:39,061 All right. 102 00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:39,888 We friends though. 103 00:04:40,018 --> 00:04:40,758 We friends. 104 00:04:40,889 --> 00:04:42,369 Oh, stop. 105 00:04:42,499 --> 00:04:43,457 Oh, right. 106 00:04:43,587 --> 00:04:44,719 Where are you flying to, sir? 107 00:04:44,849 --> 00:04:45,589 Chicago. 108 00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:46,938 Windy City. 109 00:04:47,069 --> 00:04:47,852 Sorry I'm late. 110 00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:48,984 Traffic, huh? 111 00:04:49,114 --> 00:04:50,768 It's all right. 112 00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:53,162 I had a little time to kill. 113 00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,164 OK, grab that bag for you. 114 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:57,166 Nah, don't think so. 115 00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,777 Uh, you-- 116 00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:02,824 Hey, Robert. 117 00:05:02,954 --> 00:05:04,391 Thanks for sticking with me this whole time. 118 00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:06,480 Hey, anything for a friend like you. 119 00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:09,091 Man, with the press, and the tabloids, 120 00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:10,962 and all that stuff going, I really 121 00:05:11,093 --> 00:05:14,226 wouldn't blame you if you decided to just 122 00:05:14,357 --> 00:05:16,316 distance yourself from old OJ. 123 00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:18,579 Hey, publicly form a legal partnership 124 00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:20,450 with a professional athlete and then suddenly call it off? 125 00:05:20,581 --> 00:05:22,800 That's not the Kardashian way. 126 00:05:22,931 --> 00:05:23,975 Thanks, man. 127 00:05:24,106 --> 00:05:24,976 How the kids doing? 128 00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:26,238 Tough keeping up with them. 129 00:05:26,369 --> 00:05:27,152 Ha. 130 00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:31,287 Oh, right, day one. 131 00:05:31,418 --> 00:05:33,594 Excuse me, cutie, cutie. 132 00:05:33,724 --> 00:05:37,511 Hey, cutie, have you seen the real killers? 133 00:05:37,641 --> 00:05:39,600 That's a no. 134 00:05:39,730 --> 00:05:42,472 OK, that's enough for today. 135 00:05:42,603 --> 00:05:44,735 Man, OJ, you sure got this book out fast. 136 00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:45,910 Yeah, you know what they say? 137 00:05:46,041 --> 00:05:46,868 Write what you know. 138 00:05:49,044 --> 00:05:50,654 I mean, you know? 139 00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:54,876 Write what you would imagine you know if hypothetically, 140 00:05:55,006 --> 00:05:56,094 you knew what you was knowing. 141 00:05:56,225 --> 00:05:57,487 Yeah, yeah. 142 00:05:57,618 --> 00:05:58,619 You know what? 143 00:05:58,749 --> 00:05:59,881 I need some money. 144 00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:00,838 Let's go sell these books. You know what I mean? 145 00:06:03,275 --> 00:06:04,102 We still friends. 146 00:06:04,233 --> 00:06:06,409 Yeah, I appreciate that. 147 00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:08,846 We simply going in there, and we're 148 00:06:08,977 --> 00:06:12,023 going to take back what was mine to begin with, all right. 149 00:06:12,154 --> 00:06:15,200 See, it's like, if you built a table, right, and someone 150 00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:17,768 bought that table, and then you decided 151 00:06:17,899 --> 00:06:21,468 you're going to take that table back because your touchdowns 152 00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:23,121 made that wood. 153 00:06:23,252 --> 00:06:24,601 So we're going to rob him? 154 00:06:24,732 --> 00:06:28,475 Nah, we're going to go back in there 155 00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:32,348 and get our damn touchdowns back. 156 00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:33,958 Football for life. Here. 157 00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:35,264 Oh, shit. Ah. 158 00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:40,530 This is a classic, low mileage, one previous owner. 159 00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:42,010 OK, is there anything else I should know? 160 00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:43,403 Look, I'll be honest with you. 161 00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,535 This is an older car, but my prices, 162 00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,058 it's like you're getting away with murder. 163 00:06:47,189 --> 00:06:47,929 Hey, all right. 164 00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:13,911 What the? 165 00:07:14,042 --> 00:07:15,435 You got to get up. 166 00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:16,784 You got to get up. 167 00:07:16,914 --> 00:07:20,135 You got to get up in the morning. 168 00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:21,745 Abby, what are you doing here? 169 00:07:21,876 --> 00:07:23,704 Oh, you said you were on death's door. 170 00:07:23,834 --> 00:07:26,446 No, I said I was sick and needed the day off. 171 00:07:26,576 --> 00:07:28,622 OK, but hear me out. 172 00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:29,666 I burnt down the office. 173 00:07:29,797 --> 00:07:30,537 You what? 174 00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:33,191 I am joking. 175 00:07:33,322 --> 00:07:36,020 I'm here to take care of you plus the office 176 00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:38,109 started smelling kind of smoky from the fire that I started. 177 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:39,850 I don't need you to take care of me. 178 00:07:39,981 --> 00:07:41,112 Shut up. 179 00:07:41,243 --> 00:07:43,288 Everyone needs someone to take care of them. 180 00:07:43,419 --> 00:07:45,595 Yeah, that's why my sister's here. 181 00:07:45,726 --> 00:07:49,425 Hi, Miranda, but everyone calls me Abby. 182 00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:50,905 Why? 183 00:07:51,035 --> 00:07:53,995 I don't know. 184 00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:54,996 See? 185 00:07:55,126 --> 00:07:55,910 I'm fine. 186 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,215 You don't have to worry about me. 187 00:07:57,346 --> 00:07:58,565 Well, what about me? 188 00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:00,218 I can't do anything without you. 189 00:08:00,349 --> 00:08:01,089 Look. 190 00:08:01,219 --> 00:08:03,091 Are you kidding me? 191 00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:03,961 Is that your poop? 192 00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:05,397 What? 193 00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:09,489 Oh this, no, eww. 194 00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:12,622 This is the poop of a chimpanzee I bought and immediately lost. 195 00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:14,798 So it's still poop? 196 00:08:14,929 --> 00:08:18,019 Well, duh, chimpanzees are humans, too, "Abe-i." 197 00:08:18,149 --> 00:08:19,760 I mean-- 198 00:08:19,890 --> 00:08:21,457 I don't know. 199 00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:23,546 Listen, Abby, you need to leave. 200 00:08:23,677 --> 00:08:26,201 But I came all the way to Brooklyn. 201 00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:28,116 I took something called the subway. 202 00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:29,596 How frugal of you. 203 00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:32,599 The subway, of course, being a giant man who for 20 grand 204 00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:34,122 will carry you anywhere in the city. 205 00:08:34,252 --> 00:08:35,558 I met a giant once. 206 00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:40,171 That's the whole story. 207 00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:44,219 Great, I loved it. 208 00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:46,003 So anyway, "Abe-i"-- 209 00:08:46,134 --> 00:08:47,048 Who is "Abe-i"? 210 00:08:47,178 --> 00:08:49,790 I brought you some soup that I made. 211 00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:55,186 This is just hot wine. 212 00:08:55,317 --> 00:08:58,059 A movie for your viewing pleasure. 213 00:08:58,189 --> 00:09:00,235 "Problem Child 2" on VHS? 214 00:09:00,365 --> 00:09:05,283 And least but not last, my drug dealer, Ludwig. 215 00:09:05,414 --> 00:09:06,154 Hey, what's up? 216 00:09:06,284 --> 00:09:08,765 How are you? 217 00:09:08,896 --> 00:09:11,333 Abby, why is this person in my home? 218 00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:13,640 Because of medicine. 219 00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:14,510 He has it. 220 00:09:14,641 --> 00:09:16,338 Are you on something? 221 00:09:16,468 --> 00:09:20,560 Right now, I'm on Meth, acid, OxyContin, Vicodin ,, 222 00:09:20,690 --> 00:09:22,823 and four kinds of mushrooms. 223 00:09:22,953 --> 00:09:25,695 Well, thanks for coming, Ludwig, but I'm going 224 00:09:25,826 --> 00:09:27,436 to stick to Robitussin for now. 225 00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,830 Oh, I'm on that, too. Robi-- 226 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,266 tripping. 227 00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:33,747 You're funny. 228 00:09:33,877 --> 00:09:36,271 Oh, no one's ever told me that before. 229 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:44,148 Listen, maybe this is crazy, but would you 230 00:09:44,279 --> 00:09:47,761 like to be my new assistant? 231 00:09:47,891 --> 00:09:51,286 My assistant right now, well, she's very sick, 232 00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:53,331 and it's not looking good. 233 00:09:53,462 --> 00:09:55,682 OK, I'm not sick. 234 00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,379 I'm just hung over from last night. 235 00:09:57,509 --> 00:09:59,033 Aha, I knew it. 236 00:09:59,163 --> 00:10:00,295 No, you didn't. 237 00:10:00,425 --> 00:10:02,819 Yeah, but now, I do. 238 00:10:02,950 --> 00:10:07,041 You little-- God, you're good. 239 00:10:07,171 --> 00:10:08,999 Now, I'm going to need you to call the fire department 240 00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:10,218 because from before-- 241 00:10:10,348 --> 00:10:11,698 You set the office on fire. 242 00:10:11,828 --> 00:10:14,091 Yeah. 243 00:10:18,226 --> 00:10:19,662 - Alec. - Pietro. 244 00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:20,620 - How are you? - How are you? 245 00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:21,751 Good. 246 00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:23,187 Now, are you from-- you live in New York? 247 00:10:25,973 --> 00:10:27,496 What did she just say to you in Italian? 248 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:28,497 What was the secret message? 249 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:30,064 Do you know who I am? - No. 250 00:10:30,194 --> 00:10:31,239 That's perfect. 251 00:10:37,027 --> 00:10:38,420 I'm one of the most famous relationship 252 00:10:38,550 --> 00:10:39,247 experts in the world. 253 00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:40,422 You don't know that? 254 00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:41,336 I'm sorry, but I don't. 255 00:10:41,466 --> 00:10:42,206 That's fantastic. 256 00:10:42,337 --> 00:10:43,860 Do you watch TV? 257 00:10:43,991 --> 00:10:46,471 I watch mostly Italy politics and American politics. 258 00:10:46,602 --> 00:10:48,169 I'm a lot into politics when it comes to-- 259 00:10:48,299 --> 00:10:49,213 - You align to politics? - So you like comedy? 260 00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:55,002 And I like comedy when it comes to any shows. 261 00:10:55,132 --> 00:10:56,481 What's a comedy that you follow? 262 00:10:56,612 --> 00:10:57,439 Oh, you talk about comedy-- 263 00:10:57,569 --> 00:10:58,614 Comedy series? 264 00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:00,050 Like a "30 Rock" type show. 265 00:11:00,181 --> 00:11:01,182 You ever watch a show like-- 266 00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:02,487 - "Seinfeld." - "30 Rock." 267 00:11:02,618 --> 00:11:03,663 No. 268 00:11:03,793 --> 00:11:05,099 What about "Modern Families"? 269 00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:07,275 "Modern Family" you like? 270 00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:08,319 This is fantastic. 271 00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:09,190 It's fantastic. 272 00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:13,368 What do you remember most about him when you met him? 273 00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:14,717 What you remember about me when you met me? 274 00:11:14,848 --> 00:11:15,892 What do you remember? 275 00:11:16,023 --> 00:11:17,851 He's intrigued by his own story. 276 00:11:17,981 --> 00:11:20,592 The very first time I saw him actually, we didn't talk, 277 00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:22,812 and I actually didn't like him. 278 00:11:22,943 --> 00:11:24,553 He didn't like me. - You didn't like him? 279 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:25,902 He didn't like you? Why? 280 00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:26,816 At the beginning because she was a little snobby. 281 00:11:26,947 --> 00:11:27,904 No, I wasn't snobby. 282 00:11:28,035 --> 00:11:29,253 You were a little snobby. 283 00:11:29,384 --> 00:11:30,254 So you met him, and you weren't that turned on to him 284 00:11:30,385 --> 00:11:31,429 right away? 285 00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:32,169 No, we actually just saw-- 286 00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:33,910 What changed? 287 00:11:34,041 --> 00:11:35,956 each other once, maybe twice, and then we didn't see 288 00:11:36,086 --> 00:11:37,348 each other for like a year. And then-- 289 00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:38,219 You dated other men? 290 00:11:38,349 --> 00:11:39,611 No, no, no. 291 00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:41,091 You had a lot of people coming after you? 292 00:11:41,222 --> 00:11:43,703 You're a beautiful woman, but you were training to be 293 00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:45,008 a nun, correct, in Napoli? 294 00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:45,879 No. 295 00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:47,010 Yes, how did you know that? 296 00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:48,229 You wanted to be a nun? 297 00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:49,534 You were going to the convent. 298 00:11:49,665 --> 00:11:51,188 No, it's where she studied there, and I told her, 299 00:11:51,319 --> 00:11:52,712 maybe she should have been an-- 300 00:11:52,842 --> 00:11:54,322 If I was your father, I would have locked you in a convent, 301 00:11:54,452 --> 00:11:55,323 too, but anyway, oh-- 302 00:11:55,453 --> 00:11:57,629 What a waste would have been. 303 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,240 When did you fall in love with her? 304 00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:01,633 The first time I see her in the face, 305 00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:02,983 and then she turn around, I look at her butt. 306 00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:04,811 Oh god. 307 00:12:04,941 --> 00:12:06,247 Oh my god, can you believe that? 308 00:12:06,377 --> 00:12:07,509 Sorry about the-- 309 00:12:07,639 --> 00:12:09,859 Italian men, it's true what they say about them. 310 00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:11,731 They fall in love with your butt. 311 00:12:12,775 --> 00:12:15,212 Oh [speaking italian]. 312 00:12:15,343 --> 00:12:16,300 He never told you that before did he? 313 00:12:16,431 --> 00:12:17,171 No, he did. 314 00:12:17,301 --> 00:12:18,346 He told you? 315 00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:19,260 And you married him. 316 00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:20,522 Many times. 317 00:12:20,652 --> 00:12:22,916 I always tell him because I'm a really good cook, 318 00:12:23,046 --> 00:12:25,222 you marry me because I know how to cook-- 319 00:12:25,353 --> 00:12:26,441 Why would I marry a woman that who knows 320 00:12:26,571 --> 00:12:27,834 how to cook if I'm a chef? 321 00:12:27,964 --> 00:12:29,618 I hate to say this to you, but a woman 322 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:34,318 with a great butt who can cook, I mean, really you're done. 323 00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:36,146 When you fell in love with him, what'd you fall in love? 324 00:12:36,277 --> 00:12:40,237 He's always been a gentleman, and that was the-- 325 00:12:41,238 --> 00:12:42,196 He's very charming. 326 00:12:42,326 --> 00:12:43,588 He always treat me really, really nice. 327 00:12:43,719 --> 00:12:45,112 He did? You know he loves you. 328 00:12:45,242 --> 00:12:46,287 - That's what he really-- - He respects you? 329 00:12:46,417 --> 00:12:47,679 Yes. 330 00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:49,769 Say something romantic to him in Italian. 331 00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:52,554 I mean from your soul, say something very romantic. 332 00:12:56,645 --> 00:12:58,560 What'd he say? 333 00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:02,651 He said then, I always more beautiful, and I never get old. 334 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:03,739 That's a lie. 335 00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:04,609 Oh my god. 336 00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:05,828 That's so sweet. 337 00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:07,569 No, it's a big lie, but it's OK. 338 00:13:07,699 --> 00:13:08,831 Why do you think it's a lie? 339 00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:09,745 Because-- 340 00:13:09,876 --> 00:13:13,270 I'm still hanging out around you. 341 00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:15,969 Now, describe your two children. 342 00:13:16,099 --> 00:13:17,709 Your daughter who just won Miss New Jersey-- 343 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:18,972 She's very independent. 344 00:13:19,102 --> 00:13:19,973 Gorgeous girl. 345 00:13:20,103 --> 00:13:20,843 Did she go to school? 346 00:13:20,974 --> 00:13:21,975 She's in school. 347 00:13:22,105 --> 00:13:23,150 She's gonna graduate at Temple. 348 00:13:23,280 --> 00:13:24,455 - In Temple University. - She went to Temple. 349 00:13:24,586 --> 00:13:25,848 And your other child is what? - She's an actor. 350 00:13:25,979 --> 00:13:26,327 - Jean Pietro. - Jean Pietro. 351 00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:27,632 No. 352 00:13:27,763 --> 00:13:28,808 How old is he? 353 00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:30,766 Jean Pietro is 13 years old. 354 00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:32,246 This is the luckiest day of your life 355 00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:33,551 that you're in the car with me. 356 00:13:33,682 --> 00:13:35,031 You don't want your kids to be in the show business. 357 00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:35,989 That's ridiculous. - You know what? 358 00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:37,381 It's just-- - No, they gonna be-- 359 00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:38,948 Why not? They're good kids. 360 00:13:39,079 --> 00:13:40,776 This is for morons that can't do anything else. 361 00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:41,690 Everybody knows that. - I don't know about that. 362 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:42,865 Look on you mirror. - Look at Greg. 363 00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:44,084 Look in the mirror and say that to yourself. 364 00:13:46,477 --> 00:13:48,610 I've been killing myself in show business for 35 years. 365 00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:51,047 You don't even know who I am. 366 00:13:51,178 --> 00:13:52,309 What do you recommend to people? 367 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:54,921 What's the key to staying married and being happy? 368 00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:56,052 What's the key? 369 00:13:56,183 --> 00:13:57,227 Communication. 370 00:13:57,358 --> 00:13:59,055 Communication. 371 00:13:59,186 --> 00:14:00,448 So give me an example. 372 00:14:00,578 --> 00:14:01,841 That's something like we didn't know the first year, 373 00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:04,017 and we will fight or have like-- 374 00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:04,887 He would drive you crazy. 375 00:14:05,018 --> 00:14:05,845 You were jealous. 376 00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,194 No, no, we're not really jealous. 377 00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:08,325 Oh, yes. 378 00:14:08,456 --> 00:14:10,327 He doesn't see all the phone numbers that I 379 00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:12,939 get because I throw them out. 380 00:14:13,069 --> 00:14:14,418 What do you say is your advice? 381 00:14:14,549 --> 00:14:17,813 Marriage is really, when it comes to us, is up and downs. 382 00:14:17,944 --> 00:14:21,382 But if you just calm down and just look at the situation, 383 00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:23,775 if you love your woman, you'll go right to no matter 384 00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:25,168 where it is. 385 00:14:25,299 --> 00:14:26,387 Oh my god, I'm going to cry right now. 386 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,303 We're the Miss New Jersey-- 387 00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:30,652 having my son come one sec. 388 00:14:30,782 --> 00:14:31,522 I want to come see you-- 389 00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:32,828 get him over here. 390 00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:34,003 Roll down the window. Push down the button there. 391 00:14:34,134 --> 00:14:35,222 - You're going to see my son. - Where is he? 392 00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:36,745 Jean Pietro. - Jean Pietro. 393 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,007 - Come here. - Jean Pietro. 394 00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:40,444 Do you know who this man is? 395 00:14:40,575 --> 00:14:41,489 Alec Bald-- 396 00:14:47,060 --> 00:14:48,844 If you see something on my computer 397 00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:51,542 that's not safe for work, just know it's research. 398 00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:54,241 The point of this office is that there are no walls, 399 00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:56,460 but I feel like you're putting up a lot of emotional walls. 400 00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:58,810 Do you ever see a fat kid dancing 401 00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:01,639 and you think to yourself, yes? 402 00:15:01,770 --> 00:15:04,294 Do you guys know if Duolingo has Arabic on it? 403 00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:05,730 Did someone order a giant tub of Metamucil? 404 00:15:05,861 --> 00:15:10,257 Tuesday's "Dilbert" was on point. 405 00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:12,128 If no one answers, I'm going to keep it for myself. 406 00:15:12,259 --> 00:15:14,957 Oh, my stomach is sweating. 407 00:15:15,088 --> 00:15:19,005 Yeah, hi, I'd like to order 10 child-sized ankle bracelets. 408 00:15:19,135 --> 00:15:23,400 My password, "All About That Bass" 19. 409 00:15:23,531 --> 00:15:24,836 I've listened to that song 19 times. 410 00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:27,709 My sex tape just leaked. 411 00:15:27,839 --> 00:15:30,451 Do not go to PatGetsSpanked.com. 412 00:15:30,581 --> 00:15:33,541 Don't, dude, don't do it. 413 00:15:33,671 --> 00:15:36,065 Man, soup is for losers, right? 414 00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:37,806 OK, bye. 415 00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:41,766 I have scabies. 416 00:15:44,291 --> 00:15:46,902 I was late this morning because I 417 00:15:47,033 --> 00:15:54,779 was having a casual sexual encounter with a stranger. 418 00:15:54,910 --> 00:15:59,610 Steve, would you rather have a penis tongue that gets hard 419 00:15:59,741 --> 00:16:02,831 when you're hungry or vagina ears 420 00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:04,267 that leak when you hear music? 421 00:16:04,398 --> 00:16:07,140 He loved smelling my hair, and I was like ugh, 422 00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:09,098 you're a really hot stranger, but just stop smelling my hair, 423 00:16:09,229 --> 00:16:09,969 yuck. 424 00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:10,926 Ugh. 425 00:16:11,057 --> 00:16:12,972 Can you pick me up from the airport? 426 00:16:13,102 --> 00:16:16,888 Great, and then just drive me to the Syrian border? 427 00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:19,282 Good, I can handle it from there. 428 00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:20,327 I love you. 429 00:16:24,592 --> 00:16:28,161 Oh, sorry, didn't have my headphones plugged in. 430 00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:34,950 Oh man, did you hear that? 431 00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:38,214 Uh, another sex tape just got leaked. 432 00:16:38,345 --> 00:16:41,696 Nobody go to PatGetsJerked.com. 433 00:16:41,826 --> 00:16:44,177 I don't want to see anyone on that website. 434 00:16:44,307 --> 00:16:47,441 Guess I better start work for the day. 435 00:16:48,964 --> 00:16:51,967 ET, letters of the alphabet and the title of a movie. 436 00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:53,708 We love this. 437 00:16:53,838 --> 00:16:55,536 We want to get started on making ET right away, Steven. 438 00:16:55,666 --> 00:16:56,885 Great. 439 00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,843 So the only note we have is on the very last page. 440 00:16:58,974 --> 00:17:00,149 It's so teeny tiny. 441 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,847 It's barely even a change, but we'd to see 442 00:17:02,978 --> 00:17:04,458 ET get killed at the end. 443 00:17:04,588 --> 00:17:05,328 That's all. 444 00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:06,503 Um, what? 445 00:17:06,634 --> 00:17:10,333 Oh, well, as you have it here, ET gets away, 446 00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:12,770 and we think movie audiences would really 447 00:17:12,901 --> 00:17:16,252 like it if the alien dies so that the good guys, us humans, 448 00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:17,993 win. 449 00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:19,473 I don't know if I really considered ET to be a bad guy. 450 00:17:19,603 --> 00:17:20,517 Really? 451 00:17:20,648 --> 00:17:22,128 But he's a terrible little brown turd. 452 00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:23,955 As soon as that turd arrives, horrible things 453 00:17:24,086 --> 00:17:24,956 start happening, you know. 454 00:17:25,087 --> 00:17:26,132 He's eating all the candy. 455 00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:27,002 He's getting drunk. 456 00:17:27,133 --> 00:17:28,003 He scares people. 457 00:17:28,134 --> 00:17:29,526 He almost kills Elliot. 458 00:17:29,657 --> 00:17:30,788 He's a bad turd. 459 00:17:30,919 --> 00:17:31,920 Yeah, I think people might like 460 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:32,877 ET because he's so innocent. 461 00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:34,662 Innocent? 462 00:17:34,792 --> 00:17:37,621 That little brown turd puts children's lives in danger, OK? 463 00:17:37,752 --> 00:17:40,146 He's a horrible monster, probably a molester because 464 00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:41,538 of that long nasty finger. 465 00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:42,757 The dumb little turd doesn't even 466 00:17:42,887 --> 00:17:44,150 know words or what things are. 467 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,064 I thought you made him that way so that we would know 468 00:17:45,194 --> 00:17:46,413 that we shouldn't like him. 469 00:17:46,543 --> 00:17:48,197 Yeah, he doesn't know things because he's an alien. 470 00:17:48,328 --> 00:17:49,068 Right, he's a bad guy. 471 00:17:49,198 --> 00:17:50,199 No. 472 00:17:50,330 --> 00:17:51,809 Steven, we're saying the same thing here. 473 00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:53,594 He's an alien that makes him a bad turd. 474 00:17:53,724 --> 00:17:55,248 "ET" is a classic alien movie, right? 475 00:17:55,378 --> 00:17:56,423 Aliens come to Earth. 476 00:17:56,553 --> 00:17:58,860 They mess things up, and then ultimately, humans 477 00:17:58,990 --> 00:18:00,688 prevail over their evil Martian enemies. 478 00:18:00,818 --> 00:18:01,558 It's a done deal. 479 00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:02,690 We love it, and we want to make 480 00:18:02,820 --> 00:18:03,821 your movie as soon as possible. 481 00:18:03,952 --> 00:18:05,258 You should be happy. 482 00:18:05,388 --> 00:18:07,434 We just want to see the little brown turd die at the end, 483 00:18:07,564 --> 00:18:08,652 so we have something to cheer for. 484 00:18:08,783 --> 00:18:10,393 That's all. 485 00:18:10,524 --> 00:18:12,308 Break him up with a stick and flush him down the toilet. 486 00:18:12,439 --> 00:18:14,180 And then we could have a parade at the end 487 00:18:14,310 --> 00:18:15,529 and all the little kids in town are 488 00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:16,660 holding up a piece of the turd. 489 00:18:16,791 --> 00:18:18,532 You know I was thinking for this film, 490 00:18:18,662 --> 00:18:21,361 the twist is that the humans are the bad guys if anyone. 491 00:18:21,491 --> 00:18:22,536 That's weird. 492 00:18:22,666 --> 00:18:25,278 OK, so if you want to make ET a good guy, then 493 00:18:25,408 --> 00:18:27,280 you should just have him be human the whole time. 494 00:18:27,410 --> 00:18:30,239 Oh, hey, no, I get what you're saying. 495 00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:32,850 Yeah, just make him like some kind of dude 496 00:18:32,981 --> 00:18:34,765 that drinks beer and eats candy all the time. 497 00:18:34,896 --> 00:18:36,680 Yes, that's right, a really cool dude. 498 00:18:36,811 --> 00:18:38,073 Yeah, maybe we could change his name 499 00:18:38,204 --> 00:18:39,640 to something easier like Ed. 500 00:18:39,770 --> 00:18:41,294 Or Eddie so we know he's fun? 501 00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:42,208 Yeah, he'll have a backwards hat. 502 00:18:42,338 --> 00:18:43,426 Can the hat be red? 503 00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:45,776 Oh my god, there's your movie, right, Eddie. 504 00:18:45,907 --> 00:18:47,082 Yeah, see, look, I think Elliot 505 00:18:47,213 --> 00:18:48,214 and ET have a connection. 506 00:18:51,521 --> 00:18:53,044 Well, it's why they both get sick together. 507 00:18:53,175 --> 00:18:54,524 Darren. 508 00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:56,874 You know, see that's what I'm talking about 509 00:18:57,005 --> 00:19:01,009 is there's no reason for ET to be alive at that point. 510 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,402 That'd be a good time to kill the turd. 511 00:19:02,532 --> 00:19:04,752 Please stop referring to ET as a turd. 512 00:19:04,882 --> 00:19:06,057 I'm so sorry, Steven, I didn't mean 513 00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:07,102 to put any turds in your mouth. 514 00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:08,538 I thought you wanted him to be a turd. 515 00:19:08,669 --> 00:19:10,801 I imagine he'd be like a two-foot turd with legs, 516 00:19:10,932 --> 00:19:12,281 right, maybe arms. 517 00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:13,587 Yeah, he's like the last that comes out of someone's body 518 00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:14,805 when they die. - Turds from space. 519 00:19:14,936 --> 00:19:16,024 - There's a turd in the house. - Turd two. 520 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:17,286 We'll make the first turd later. 521 00:19:17,417 --> 00:19:19,288 OK, look, I'm sorry. 522 00:19:19,419 --> 00:19:21,464 This just isn't the direction I want to go with my film. 523 00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:22,900 I'm afraid this isn't going to work. 524 00:19:23,031 --> 00:19:25,903 Steven, Steven, don't be difficult. Steven, what child 525 00:19:26,034 --> 00:19:28,123 leaves home and then throws a turd in their basket? 526 00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:29,690 Steven, just as long as you know you're 527 00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:30,865 wrong about the turds. 528 00:19:30,995 --> 00:19:32,693 You know, all this turd talk's got me hungry. 529 00:19:32,823 --> 00:19:34,825 Alison, can you bring in steak sandwiches again? 530 00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:36,784 Steven, you're a turd in the basket. 531 00:20:42,676 --> 00:20:44,068 In a city of millions, 532 00:20:44,199 --> 00:20:46,462 is it possible to find true love if you 533 00:20:46,593 --> 00:20:48,203 aren't being true to yourself? 534 00:20:48,334 --> 00:20:50,684 Everybody, welcome to Manhattan 535 00:20:50,814 --> 00:20:52,729 Afternoon Speed Dating. 536 00:20:52,860 --> 00:20:56,080 So when you guys are ready to switch partners, 537 00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:58,039 hit that bell then happy hunting. 538 00:20:58,169 --> 00:20:59,432 Ha ha. 539 00:20:59,562 --> 00:21:00,346 EUGENE HITLER I used to run 540 00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:02,130 from who I am but no more. 541 00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,001 Now, I'm going to be the real me no matter what 542 00:21:04,132 --> 00:21:05,829 other people think. 543 00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:07,396 Hi, I'm Sarah Lloyd. 544 00:21:07,527 --> 00:21:08,441 I'm Eugene Hitler. 545 00:21:10,617 --> 00:21:11,835 I'm Eugene Hitler. 546 00:21:11,966 --> 00:21:13,402 Adolf Hitler was my grandfather. 547 00:21:13,533 --> 00:21:15,535 When you come from a family like mine, 548 00:21:15,665 --> 00:21:18,973 some people can be really quick to judge. 549 00:21:19,103 --> 00:21:19,887 Julie Bennett. 550 00:21:20,017 --> 00:21:21,280 Eugene Hitler. 551 00:21:22,368 --> 00:21:23,804 I'm Eugene Hitler. 552 00:21:23,934 --> 00:21:25,109 Eugene Hitler. 553 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,285 Eugene Hitler. 554 00:21:30,071 --> 00:21:33,161 Well, Eugene is a nice name. 555 00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:34,423 It's short for eugenics. 556 00:21:35,990 --> 00:21:37,644 Surviving today's dating scene 557 00:21:37,774 --> 00:21:40,124 takes a certain strength of will. 558 00:21:40,255 --> 00:21:45,129 Look, I'm Eugene Hitler, grandson of Adolf Hitler. 559 00:21:45,260 --> 00:21:47,001 Well, you can't choose your family, right? 560 00:21:47,131 --> 00:21:47,871 No you can't. 561 00:21:48,002 --> 00:21:49,264 So what do you do? 562 00:21:49,395 --> 00:21:50,613 I work for Chap's Sporting Goods. 563 00:21:52,572 --> 00:21:54,704 Grandson of Adolf Hitler, and I work at Chap's Sporting Goods. 564 00:21:54,835 --> 00:21:55,705 Manager? 565 00:21:55,836 --> 00:21:56,576 Assistant Manager. 566 00:21:58,404 --> 00:21:59,622 People ask me, why don't you 567 00:21:59,753 --> 00:22:01,102 just change your name? 568 00:22:01,232 --> 00:22:04,453 But would a Eugene Hitler by any other name still 569 00:22:04,584 --> 00:22:05,846 smell as sweet? 570 00:22:05,976 --> 00:22:09,589 Is a shoe that would be really good for you. 571 00:22:09,719 --> 00:22:13,114 So it's got the breathable mesh upper here. 572 00:22:13,244 --> 00:22:14,376 If I judge myself 573 00:22:14,507 --> 00:22:16,552 purely on my heritage, would I be 574 00:22:16,683 --> 00:22:18,206 any better than my grandfather? 575 00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:19,294 Ruth Feinstein. 576 00:22:19,425 --> 00:22:21,949 Eugene Hitler. 577 00:22:22,079 --> 00:22:22,819 What was that? 578 00:22:22,950 --> 00:22:24,255 Hitler. 579 00:22:24,386 --> 00:22:25,431 It's so low that I can't hear you. 580 00:22:25,561 --> 00:22:26,345 Hitler. 581 00:22:26,475 --> 00:22:26,997 I still can't really understand. 582 00:22:27,128 --> 00:22:28,172 Hitler. 583 00:22:28,303 --> 00:22:29,565 You guys. 584 00:22:29,696 --> 00:22:31,045 EUGENE HITLER I guess 585 00:22:31,175 --> 00:22:33,482 if there's one thing I have in common with my grandfather, 586 00:22:33,613 --> 00:22:35,484 it's stick-tuitiveness. 587 00:22:35,615 --> 00:22:36,746 So got a big race coming up, right? 588 00:22:36,877 --> 00:22:38,052 Yeah. 589 00:22:38,182 --> 00:22:39,793 Maybe you need a training partner? 590 00:22:39,923 --> 00:22:40,663 I kind-- 591 00:22:40,794 --> 00:22:41,751 Oh, excuse me. 592 00:22:41,882 --> 00:22:42,970 I'm-- 593 00:22:43,100 --> 00:22:44,972 Oh yeah, oh you mean-- 594 00:22:46,495 --> 00:22:49,280 What's in a name? 595 00:22:49,411 --> 00:22:50,151 What's in a name? 596 00:22:50,281 --> 00:22:52,109 I'm Eugene Hitler. 597 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:54,982 Adolf Hitler was my grandfather. 598 00:22:55,112 --> 00:22:57,680 Wow, really? 599 00:22:57,811 --> 00:22:59,203 I am such a big fan. 600 00:22:59,334 --> 00:23:00,814 He was a visionary. 601 00:23:00,944 --> 00:23:03,251 He was-- and you, and you look like him. 602 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:06,036 Oh my god, what an honor to be in the presence. 603 00:23:06,167 --> 00:23:07,037 You have no idea-- 604 00:23:07,168 --> 00:23:08,169 You rang the bell by accident. 605 00:23:08,299 --> 00:23:09,344 By the way-- 606 00:23:09,475 --> 00:23:12,521 He killed 6 million people. 607 00:23:12,652 --> 00:23:14,044 I know. 608 00:23:14,175 --> 00:23:15,698 That was way too many. 609 00:23:15,829 --> 00:23:17,744 Women don't always get me. 610 00:23:17,874 --> 00:23:19,963 I guess the best way to put it is Eugene 611 00:23:20,094 --> 00:23:22,270 Hitler's just misunderstood. 612 00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:25,491 Eugene Hitler, grandson of Adolf Hitler, assistant manager 613 00:23:25,621 --> 00:23:26,361 at Chap's Sports. 614 00:23:26,492 --> 00:23:27,536 The one in Soho? 615 00:23:27,667 --> 00:23:28,537 Times Square. 616 00:23:30,147 --> 00:23:31,801 I guess that's just my struggle. 617 00:23:31,932 --> 00:23:34,325 My name is Eugene Hitler, and I don't care 618 00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:36,284 if everybody knows about it. 619 00:23:36,415 --> 00:23:39,679 I'm Eugene Hitler, and you're going to have to live with it. 620 00:23:39,809 --> 00:23:42,508 I'm Eugene Hitler, and I'm not going to change it. 621 00:23:42,638 --> 00:23:43,770 I know deep down 622 00:23:43,900 --> 00:23:45,946 that I'm a special person, and someday, 623 00:23:46,076 --> 00:23:47,687 I'll find the perfect girl. 624 00:23:47,817 --> 00:23:52,692 But for now, I have found the perfect egg salad sandwich. 625 00:23:52,822 --> 00:23:55,216 Hats off to you, Cafe Olo. 626 00:23:55,346 --> 00:23:59,263 I give you my highest rating, five Hitlers. 627 00:23:59,394 --> 00:24:03,877 Nom, nom, nom. 44384

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