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1
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:06,074
- Hi.
- Hey.
2
00:00:06,174 --> 00:00:07,108
- Alec.
- Alec.
3
00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,109
Emanuel.
How are you?
4
00:00:08,209 --> 00:00:09,477
How you doing.
Jay Pharoah.
5
00:00:09,577 --> 00:00:10,944
Nice to meet you.
6
00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:11,845
How are you?
7
00:00:11,945 --> 00:00:12,846
Hey, Jay Pharoah.
8
00:00:12,946 --> 00:00:13,747
Nice to meet you.
9
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,083
What's going on?
10
00:00:15,183 --> 00:00:16,217
Do people tell you you look
like you could be brothers?
11
00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:17,185
- All the time.
- Yes.
12
00:00:17,285 --> 00:00:18,219
- All the time.
- All the time.
13
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,257
Where did you meet?
14
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:24,558
Feels like that.
15
00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:28,162
We originally met on a
dating app, and then we both--
16
00:00:28,262 --> 00:00:29,563
What dating app?
17
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:30,531
- Grindr.
- It was Grindr.
18
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:31,432
Yeah.
19
00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:34,435
- It's really romantic!
- A little bit of a pause.
20
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:35,136
You
ground each other.
21
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:36,070
It's really romantic!
22
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,538
How long have
you been together?
23
00:00:37,638 --> 00:00:38,606
Like, five months.
24
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,108
What made you all
go from hookup buddies
25
00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:41,075
to actually boyfriends?
26
00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:42,310
We actually
never hooked up.
27
00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:44,745
We actually became official
before we even had sex.
28
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:46,347
Yeah, because I refused
to let him enter me.
29
00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:49,350
We did other stuff, but,
like-- but we didn't have sex.
30
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:50,618
Traditional
relationship.
31
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:51,585
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
32
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:52,520
Old fashioned.
33
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:54,021
You're an old fashioned girl!
34
00:00:57,758 --> 00:00:59,927
Emmanuel says that
Anthony doesn't know
35
00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:02,896
any gay pop culture references.
36
00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:03,797
He does not.
37
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,366
He's so bad at it.
38
00:01:05,466 --> 00:01:07,034
But does
he know more than Alec?
39
00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:08,902
Who knows more gay pop
culture references?
40
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:09,803
Who's gayer?
41
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:10,704
We don't know.
42
00:01:10,804 --> 00:01:11,939
You or me?
43
00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:13,073
Emmanuel, you are the host.
44
00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:14,175
Oh, .
OK.
45
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:15,075
Ask the questions.
46
00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:16,310
OK, are you guys ready?
47
00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,245
First question.
48
00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:20,013
Name three Barbra
Streisand songs.
49
00:01:20,114 --> 00:01:21,115
And reveal!
What do you have?
50
00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:22,350
I don't know.
51
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:24,118
- He doesn't know a single song.
- What do you have.
52
00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:28,622
And I have "Evergreen," "Rain
on My Parade," and "People
53
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:29,690
Who Need People."
Yeah!
54
00:01:29,790 --> 00:01:30,591
People!
55
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:31,759
I'm so proud of you, honey!
56
00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:32,626
I
thought that was her--
57
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:35,129
My wife's proud of
me that I am most gay.
58
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:36,297
OK.
Next question.
59
00:01:36,397 --> 00:01:37,198
Second one.
60
00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:38,532
You better get this right, ass.
61
00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:40,601
Name three recent
Britney Spears songs.
62
00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:41,635
Oh.
Recent?
63
00:01:41,735 --> 00:01:42,536
Oh, I got this.
64
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:43,404
I got this.
65
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:44,505
Yeah, recent.
66
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,340
"Pretty Girl,"
"Circus," and "3."
67
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:47,308
OK.
68
00:01:47,408 --> 00:01:48,442
Oh,
that's pretty good.
69
00:01:48,542 --> 00:01:49,677
It's pretty good.
I'm too old.
70
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:51,345
That's old.
But I'll still give it to you.
71
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:52,713
Those are still songs.
72
00:01:52,813 --> 00:01:54,515
I had me, me
again, and don't me.
73
00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:56,884
Oh, baby, baby!
74
00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:57,651
All right.
Are you ready?
75
00:01:57,751 --> 00:01:58,752
So third question.
76
00:01:58,852 --> 00:02:00,053
Who's Rachel Zoe?
77
00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:01,622
I wrote she's the
governor of Colorado.
78
00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:03,056
Oh, she could be.
We don't know.
79
00:02:03,157 --> 00:02:04,091
I didn't know.
80
00:02:04,192 --> 00:02:04,992
We don't
know her past life.
81
00:02:05,092 --> 00:02:06,126
I love you, man.
I love you.
82
00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:07,728
- I don't know.
- What have you got, Gregg?
83
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:08,762
Fashion stylist.
84
00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:09,463
Is she
a fashion stylist?
85
00:02:10,698 --> 00:02:12,065
Gregg's the gayest one
in the car right now!
86
00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:13,234
I knew her.
87
00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:18,005
Let's pull over and get
the expert in the car.
88
00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:18,906
Let's pull over.
89
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,176
How exciting!
90
00:02:22,276 --> 00:02:23,277
Are you sitting on his lap?
91
00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:24,378
Where are you going?
92
00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,746
Yeah, because I don't
have a lot of space.
93
00:02:25,846 --> 00:02:26,914
You think you guys
are going to make it?
94
00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:28,081
You want to stay a couple?
- We absolutely do.
95
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:30,584
Do you want to have
a serious relationship?
96
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:31,485
We do.
97
00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:32,620
A monogamous relationship?
98
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:33,887
Yeah, a monogamous--
He's a ho!
99
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:34,888
serious relationship.
100
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,190
Well not any more!
No?
101
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:37,891
- I used to be.
- He used to be.
102
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:38,726
But
you're reformed now.
103
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:39,760
Well, cause here's the thing.
104
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:40,361
I didn't come out
until I was like 23.
105
00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:41,862
So I did my thing.
106
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:43,096
And now I'm good.
107
00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:45,533
How do you get along
with each other's families?
108
00:02:45,633 --> 00:02:49,437
He gets along with
my family very well.
109
00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:50,404
Your family?
110
00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:51,872
I don't really see
them that often.
111
00:02:51,972 --> 00:02:53,307
Are they cool
with you being out?
112
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:54,642
For the most part.
Yeah.
113
00:02:54,742 --> 00:02:56,210
Grandmother does
not know I'm gay.
114
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:57,110
She doesn't need to know.
115
00:02:57,211 --> 00:02:58,111
It's fine.
116
00:02:58,212 --> 00:02:59,280
Where do you see
this relationship?
117
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:00,414
A year from now
I could actually
118
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:01,582
see us living together.
119
00:03:01,682 --> 00:03:02,483
- Absolutely.
- Yeah.
120
00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:03,517
And we both want kids.
121
00:03:03,617 --> 00:03:04,818
Yeah, we
want like four kids.
122
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,053
Uh-- What?
Wait.
123
00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:07,120
OK.
124
00:03:07,221 --> 00:03:08,656
Do you want
to be our surrogate?
125
00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:10,123
Well I'm already taken.
126
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:11,292
Oh !
127
00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:12,860
And it's my third
in three years.
128
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:13,761
Hello!
129
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:14,928
So I can't imagine four--
130
00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:18,131
You know what?
131
00:03:18,232 --> 00:03:19,700
If it weren't for this, totally.
132
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:20,601
You guys are cute.
133
00:03:24,338 --> 00:03:25,273
It's anal clue.
134
00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:27,808
I'm not making too
many jokes about this.
135
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:30,043
I know my career can end
way faster than yours can.
136
00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:32,446
No, no.
137
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,214
We can cut all this out.
138
00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:39,052
Uh-oh.
139
00:03:39,152 --> 00:03:42,323
Looks like the widdle
baby fell asleep.
140
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:43,824
Doesn't he know the rules?
141
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:47,395
First one to fall asleep gets
a penis drawn on their face.
142
00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:48,396
Oh Yeah.
143
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:08,449
Oh my God.
144
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:10,083
That's beautiful.
145
00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:11,485
How did you--
146
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:12,520
I don't know.
147
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,422
I just drew it.
148
00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:15,323
All right, boys.
149
00:04:15,423 --> 00:04:16,324
It's 1 AM.
150
00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:18,459
I think it's time to turn out--
151
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:19,727
What in God's name?
152
00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:21,929
Mr. Patterson,
I made him do it.
153
00:04:22,029 --> 00:04:23,431
Shh.
154
00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:27,535
It's the most incredible
penis on face I've ever seen.
155
00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:30,037
Did you draw that, Charlie?
156
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:30,971
Yeah.
157
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:33,173
Carol!
158
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,775
What is it sweetie?
159
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:35,843
Is everything OK?
160
00:04:38,312 --> 00:04:40,781
It's like looking
into the face of God.
161
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:44,685
Our Charlie?
162
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:50,924
Charlie I'm a reporter
from the "New York Times."
163
00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,427
We'd like to know a little
bit about your process.
164
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:57,331
Well, I draw the
balls like on the cheek,
165
00:04:57,431 --> 00:05:00,501
and I make it look like the
penis is going into the mouth.
166
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:01,869
Fascinating.
167
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:03,070
He's never had lessons.
168
00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:05,172
Sometimes I draw
squiggly lines
169
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:06,940
to make it look like ball hair.
170
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:07,841
Did you get that?
171
00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:08,809
Yes, ball hair.
172
00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:11,345
What's on the front page?
173
00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:12,413
Kosovo!
174
00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:13,681
Kill it,
175
00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:16,116
The piece is permanent
marker on 12-year-old boy face.
176
00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:18,552
We're going to start
the bidding at $500,000.
177
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,621
Do I hear $500,000?
178
00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,990
Yes, $500,000 to
the man in blue.
179
00:05:23,090 --> 00:05:25,493
Do I hear $750,000?
180
00:05:25,593 --> 00:05:29,597
Yes, $750,000 to
the woman in black.
181
00:05:29,697 --> 00:05:31,665
Might I remind you, this
is an original Charlie
182
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,434
"Penis on Face."
183
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,469
$1 million.
184
00:05:35,569 --> 00:05:37,070
$1 million.
185
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,539
Going once.
186
00:05:38,639 --> 00:05:40,641
Going twice.
187
00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:44,077
Sold, to the mysterious
man in the back.
188
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:47,047
The moment I saw it,
I knew I had to have it.
189
00:05:47,147 --> 00:05:48,081
It's exquisite.
190
00:05:53,621 --> 00:05:54,422
Oh.
191
00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:57,257
Those turds.
192
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,660
Screw you, butt munchers.
193
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,762
That's what you get
for falling asleep first.
194
00:06:04,532 --> 00:06:05,332
Idiot.
195
00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,106
Let's get excited right
now for Marc Normand!
196
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:19,212
Hey, Hey.
197
00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:20,448
Comedy, huh?
198
00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:21,381
Whew.
199
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:23,316
Still not really
sure what this is.
200
00:06:23,417 --> 00:06:24,652
But glad to be here.
201
00:06:25,886 --> 00:06:27,154
Yeah.
202
00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:29,857
It feels like a comedy show,
but it looks like a porn shoot.
203
00:06:29,957 --> 00:06:32,025
I'm just confused.
204
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:33,393
Hey, hey.
All right.
205
00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:34,995
Everybody's drinking.
That's fun.
206
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,063
I like to drink.
207
00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:37,364
I got to cut back.
208
00:06:37,465 --> 00:06:38,566
I blacked out last week.
209
00:06:38,666 --> 00:06:39,767
That's embarrassing.
210
00:06:39,867 --> 00:06:41,435
I told my roommate, he's
like, oh, you blacked out.
211
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:42,670
Ugh.
212
00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:43,804
That means you forgot to
brush your teeth last night.
213
00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:45,906
I was like, wow, that is
the least of my worries.
214
00:06:46,006 --> 00:06:47,040
Yeah.
215
00:06:47,140 --> 00:06:48,542
I'm more concerned with
the lipstick I'm wearing
216
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:49,777
and why I sent my
mom a dick pic.
217
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:53,146
Yeah, yeah.
218
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,515
Yeah, people always
talk about how honest
219
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:55,716
you are when you're drunk.
You hear that a lot.
220
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:56,884
Get that guy drunk,
he'll tell you anything.
221
00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:58,652
I feel like I'm way more
honest when I'm hung over.
222
00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:00,153
When I'm drunk, I
can lie all day.
223
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,088
You know?
224
00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:01,722
Cop's like, you've
been drinking?
225
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:02,456
I'm like, no way!
226
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:04,357
Ah!
227
00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:05,793
When I'm hungover,
that's when I'm honest.
228
00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:07,628
My life's in shambles, I
have nothing to live for.
229
00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,162
Your friends like, you
want to get brunch?
230
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,364
You're like, Ugh,
I've never liked you.
231
00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,988
What you
want, what you need.
232
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:41,995
Back and forth in the weeds.
233
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:47,434
No matter where you go or what
you see, you got to get funky.
234
00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:53,774
space and
time to be out of line.
235
00:07:56,510 --> 00:08:00,848
Getting up and feeling fine.
236
00:08:00,948 --> 00:08:04,952
You get yours and I'll get mine.
237
00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:06,253
Yeah got to get funky.
238
00:08:16,429 --> 00:08:19,733
You know what I think?
239
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:20,934
Well, I think you can.
240
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:23,303
I know you could.
241
00:08:23,403 --> 00:08:24,471
Yeah!
242
00:08:24,572 --> 00:08:27,775
But I think you might,
I know you should.
243
00:08:27,875 --> 00:08:29,042
Come on!
244
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:33,380
With the backstreet
cats down in the hood.
245
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:34,447
You got to get funky.
246
00:08:38,652 --> 00:08:42,623
So you might be large,
you might be tall.
247
00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:43,924
Yeah got to get funky.
248
00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:51,599
You know?
249
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,262
Hmm?
250
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:32,305
There's no one here.
251
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,307
Wow!
252
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:35,308
Come on!
253
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:42,783
We now take you
live to Capitol Hill
254
00:09:42,883 --> 00:09:45,152
where a congressional hearing
on people who post spoilers
255
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,053
is underway.
256
00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:47,454
Good afternoon.
257
00:09:47,554 --> 00:09:48,622
This thing on?
258
00:09:48,722 --> 00:09:50,557
Recently you posted online.
259
00:09:50,658 --> 00:09:51,524
All right.
260
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:53,961
"Can't believe
Andy Dufresne made
261
00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:56,363
it out of Shawshank prison.
262
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,031
Ugh."
263
00:09:58,131 --> 00:09:58,932
Yeah.
264
00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:00,500
I just watched that movie.
265
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,336
Sir, why did you have
to spoil the ending?
266
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,038
Didn't care for
the movie, Bilty.
267
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:06,339
It's Congressman Biltman.
268
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,876
You didn't like "The
Shawshank Redemption?"
269
00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:10,010
It was non "Seven."
270
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,111
The Brad Pitt movie?
271
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:13,647
"What's in the box?"
272
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:15,148
His wife's head.
273
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:16,216
Tough box.
274
00:10:16,316 --> 00:10:18,118
Sir, you're
doing it right now.
275
00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:19,953
I like Brad Pitt though.
276
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,388
Handsome.
277
00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:22,990
Wish he existed in "Fight Club."
278
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:24,692
This is exactly what
we're talking about.
279
00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:25,926
Right?
He wasn't real!
280
00:10:26,026 --> 00:10:27,861
Like Bruce Willis!
281
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:29,162
"Sixth Sense?"
282
00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:30,063
You guys see "Sixth Sense?"
283
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,732
Well, he was real.
284
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:33,433
I mean-- but he was a ghost.
285
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:34,334
Come on!
286
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:35,302
Really?
287
00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:37,270
You haven't seen these movies?
288
00:10:37,370 --> 00:10:39,639
You get like a five year
grace period with spoilers,
289
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,174
and then it's on
you Congressman.
290
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:42,109
OK, no.
291
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:44,244
All right!
292
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:46,179
Enough!
293
00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:48,515
It seems like you
are intentionally
294
00:10:48,615 --> 00:10:50,183
ruining films for people.
295
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:53,253
Can't you not mention spoilers?
296
00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:54,587
Maybe I should just lie, huh?
297
00:10:54,688 --> 00:10:56,056
Like Verbal Kint, a.k.a.
298
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,624
Keyser Soze?
299
00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:59,292
Just look at the wall
behind you and then
300
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:01,261
make up a bunch of nonsense?
301
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:02,162
I think we're safe.
302
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:03,096
There's nothing behind us.
303
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:04,131
"The Usual Suspects?"
304
00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:05,899
Can't you help yourself?
305
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:09,502
Oh, excuse me,
I'm sorry, Mr White!
306
00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:11,104
Yo, Mr White!
307
00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:13,907
Don't die in the lab, bitch!
308
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:15,108
That'd be a bad break.
309
00:11:15,208 --> 00:11:16,744
Why are you like this?
310
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:17,644
Oh.
311
00:11:17,745 --> 00:11:19,813
Maybe I should just move away.
312
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,681
Leave everybody alone.
313
00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:24,151
Become a weird
lumberjack with Dexter?
314
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:25,652
I never finished
"Dexter," so that one
315
00:11:25,753 --> 00:11:27,020
particularly upsets me.
316
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,288
Don't lose your
head, Ned Stark.
317
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:29,790
I just started
"Game of Thrones!"
318
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:32,025
Please, do not ruin
that one for me!
319
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:32,926
Come on, Congressman.
320
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:34,161
It was season one.
321
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:35,963
It's not like you mentioned
King Joffrey's death.
322
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,397
Joffrey becomes King?
323
00:11:37,497 --> 00:11:38,365
Shut up!
324
00:11:38,465 --> 00:11:39,599
I thought you
were on season four?
325
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:40,500
Well I'm not.
326
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:41,735
I'm reading the books!
327
00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:42,736
Shut up!
328
00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:44,838
It's like the Red
Wedding up there?
329
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:46,239
What does that mean?
330
00:11:46,339 --> 00:11:47,374
Red like blood?
331
00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:48,508
Like bloody?
Someone dies?
332
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:49,409
- It means--
- No!
333
00:11:49,509 --> 00:11:50,310
No!
334
00:11:50,410 --> 00:11:51,311
No!
335
00:11:51,411 --> 00:11:52,345
- Let me say this one thing.
- No.
336
00:11:52,445 --> 00:11:53,046
- No.
- Sir!
337
00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:54,547
No
338
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:55,715
It won't ruin is
339
00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:56,750
No!
340
00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:04,291
All the Starks
die at the wedding.
341
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,492
Oh!
342
00:12:05,592 --> 00:12:06,393
You did it!
343
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,229
You mother .
344
00:12:09,329 --> 00:12:11,131
You son of a !
345
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,699
What a stupid .
346
00:12:12,800 --> 00:12:13,600
Hey.
347
00:12:13,700 --> 00:12:14,968
Do you guys validate parking?
348
00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:16,636
Yak, yak, yak, yak,
yak, yak, yak, yak!
349
00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:19,873
Shut the up!
350
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:21,741
We'll be back in a few
minutes with this continuing
351
00:12:21,842 --> 00:12:22,943
investigation.
352
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:24,677
And join us tomorrow for
the congressional hearing
353
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:27,614
on girls who cry at parties.
354
00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:30,784
I caught my parents having
sex when I was 8, 21, and today.
355
00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:34,154
And the idea of your parents
having sex is so horrifying,
356
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:35,522
isn't it?
357
00:12:35,622 --> 00:12:39,326
That's why I'm surprised parents
don't use that as a threat.
358
00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:40,460
Wouldn't that be so effective?
359
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:41,761
Like, hey, Timmy, you
better clean that room,
360
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:43,263
or me and your mom
are going to go at it.
361
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,500
How did you do on
that math test, Billy?
362
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:48,869
I got a D. I'll show you some D!
363
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:49,769
All right, I'll study!
364
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:53,640
Yeah.
365
00:12:53,740 --> 00:12:55,608
But you girls are so
sexy, you drive me crazy.
366
00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:57,110
I just want to put stuff in you.
367
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:58,745
Oh, you're so hot
with your wacky labia!
368
00:12:58,846 --> 00:12:59,746
I love it.
369
00:13:02,682 --> 00:13:03,984
This is how sexy girls are.
370
00:13:04,084 --> 00:13:05,919
I was out to dinner once, this
girl leans over during the meal
371
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:08,221
and goes, hey, I'm
not wearing underwear.
372
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:09,122
I was like, oh my God.
373
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:10,023
That's hot.
374
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:11,524
Then realized, why is that sexy?
375
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,261
Has underwear ever been a
huge obstacle for a guy?
376
00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:16,463
Has any guy ever taken a
girls jeans off scene panties
377
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:19,732
and been like, ooh, it's
going to be a long night.
378
00:13:19,833 --> 00:13:20,901
Put a pot of coffee on.
379
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:21,969
I can't crack that code.
380
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:25,005
That's how hot you are, gals.
381
00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:26,639
You can tell by an article of
clothing you're not wearing,
382
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:28,541
I can't even see it's missing,
I'm already turned on.
383
00:13:28,641 --> 00:13:29,676
That doesn't work
for me as a guy.
384
00:13:29,776 --> 00:13:30,577
I can't pull that off.
385
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:31,644
I lean over during dinner.
386
00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:33,346
Hey, I'm not wearing underwear.
387
00:13:33,446 --> 00:13:34,747
She's going to go, uh-oh.
388
00:13:34,848 --> 00:13:37,284
What happened?
389
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:38,818
Laundry day?
Diarrhea?
390
00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:39,719
Need a wet wipe?
391
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:40,620
Talk to me.
392
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:45,959
Yeah, this girl on the date,
she told me-- she was like,
393
00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:47,494
yeah, I like a
strong silent type.
394
00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:48,395
That's what she said to me.
395
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:49,930
I find that offensive.
396
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,331
Strong silent type?
397
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:52,499
Can you imagine if
a guy said that?
398
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:54,034
What do you look for in a woman?
399
00:13:54,134 --> 00:13:55,768
Silence.
400
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:58,805
I like a woman who is tough
and shuts the up.
401
00:13:58,906 --> 00:14:00,707
You'd be kicked out of society.
402
00:14:00,807 --> 00:14:01,674
Yeah.
I don't know.
403
00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:02,675
It's weird being in this room.
404
00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:03,977
I just have the
urge to masturbate.
405
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,381
Yeah.
406
00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:09,749
The gays have it figured out.
407
00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,718
Yeah, the gay guys
are doing great.
408
00:14:11,818 --> 00:14:13,353
My roommate's gay.
That's fun.
409
00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:14,321
I like having a gay roommate.
410
00:14:14,421 --> 00:14:15,688
He's gay, I'm broke.
411
00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:17,724
I feel like poor people and gay
people have a lot in common.
412
00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:20,360
We're both born that way.
413
00:14:20,460 --> 00:14:21,828
Women just want
to be our friends.
414
00:14:21,929 --> 00:14:24,231
And when you finally tell your
parents, they're like, yeah,
415
00:14:24,331 --> 00:14:25,132
we knew.
416
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:29,836
I went to the gay pride
parade a couple of months ago.
417
00:14:29,937 --> 00:14:30,737
Still sore.
418
00:14:30,837 --> 00:14:31,638
I had a good time.
419
00:14:31,738 --> 00:14:33,006
Yeah.
420
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:35,108
They had the homophobic guys
out there with the big signs,
421
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,343
you know?
422
00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:37,410
How much do you have to
hate a group to make a sign?
423
00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:38,278
I've never made a
sign in my whole life.
424
00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:43,416
These people are more
prejudiced than I am productive.
425
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:44,484
Yeah.
426
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:45,718
It's weird, the markers,
the poster board.
427
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:46,853
I don't get it.
428
00:14:46,954 --> 00:14:48,321
Your tactic for fighting
gays is arts and crafts?
429
00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:49,489
You might want to
rethink that one.
430
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:50,657
You know?
431
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:51,992
Ironically the group
you hate the most
432
00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:53,226
could really pizzazz
up that poster.
433
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:56,763
I don't know who's gay.
434
00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:58,031
I have the worst
gaydar in the world.
435
00:14:58,131 --> 00:14:59,866
I didn't know my roommate
was gay until we ...
436
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:01,935
Yeah.
437
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:03,436
Yeah.
438
00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:04,337
But you guys are nice.
439
00:15:04,437 --> 00:15:05,605
Some crowds are so mean.
440
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,174
You know, I got called a
douche bag at a show recently.
441
00:15:07,274 --> 00:15:08,075
That's a fun word.
442
00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:09,009
Douche bag.
443
00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:10,210
Because the insult
is more popular
444
00:15:10,310 --> 00:15:13,013
than the actual product.
445
00:15:13,113 --> 00:15:14,514
I don't know anyone
who's ever used a douche.
446
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:15,382
Never seen one.
What is it?
447
00:15:15,482 --> 00:15:16,649
Like a Ziploc?
I have no idea.
448
00:15:17,884 --> 00:15:19,219
I feel bad for the guy
who invented the thing.
449
00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:20,553
Some guy in the
1800s, I invented
450
00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:21,621
this thing for women's hygiene!
451
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:22,889
We're all like,
nice job, man, we're
452
00:15:22,990 --> 00:15:24,791
just going to use that to
describe dudes in fedoras.
453
00:15:24,891 --> 00:15:25,692
Thank you.
454
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:26,926
Yeah.
455
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:27,927
I did some research on it.
456
00:15:28,028 --> 00:15:29,196
A douche bag is
actually bad for women.
457
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:30,530
It's not good for you.
458
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:31,864
So apparently the guy who
invented it, kind of a douche.
459
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:39,772
Welcome to Cocktails.
460
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:43,476
I'm Willa Esther, and my
guest today is Tanisha Long.
461
00:15:43,576 --> 00:15:44,644
She's of age.
462
00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:47,114
OK, so I just want to
tell you that if I ask you
463
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:48,848
any question that makes
you feel uncomfortable,
464
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:49,983
you can use your safe word.
465
00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:52,752
And today's safe word
is online shopping.
466
00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:53,653
Online shopping.
467
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:54,954
OK.
468
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:58,291
Like, if I asked you, can
I wear your skin as my own.
469
00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:01,028
It's not making me
feel online shopping?
470
00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:03,096
Your online shopping
threshold is--
471
00:16:03,196 --> 00:16:04,631
Is a little
higher than normal.
472
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:05,832
I feel like people
are always saying
473
00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:06,933
online shopping about me.
474
00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:07,834
So--
475
00:16:07,934 --> 00:16:09,136
Ooh.
476
00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:10,603
You might say online shopping.
477
00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:11,971
That's interesting.
478
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:14,241
If you wanted to let a guy from
across the bar know that you
479
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:16,509
were interested in him,
how would you let him know
480
00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:18,545
using just your body language?
481
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:22,482
Well what I normally do is I
creepily stare in their eyes.
482
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,051
Won't they think you're
going to murder them?
483
00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:24,951
No!
484
00:16:25,052 --> 00:16:25,952
With your vagina!
485
00:16:26,053 --> 00:16:27,554
I look like a girl
who wants to, like,
486
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:29,656
catch a D. So I don't think--
487
00:16:29,756 --> 00:16:31,491
I've never thought of
my vagina as a weapon.
488
00:16:31,591 --> 00:16:32,392
You should.
489
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:33,360
It's full of muscles.
490
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:34,261
Is that why guys like it?
491
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:35,395
Yeah.
492
00:16:35,495 --> 00:16:36,996
It's the only part of
my body that's a muscle.
493
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:43,736
What kind of tips would you give
guys to make dick pics sexier?
494
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:46,839
Go online and find a really
good dick, and photo shop it
495
00:16:46,939 --> 00:16:47,740
on to you.
496
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:48,641
Duh.
497
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:49,776
Do what girls do.
498
00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:51,844
Is that what you do
with like boobs and butt?
499
00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:52,645
I feel like--
- No.
500
00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:53,846
My shit's great.
501
00:16:53,946 --> 00:16:55,315
I don't do that.
502
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:56,416
Is there anything they can do?
503
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,718
Like, could they help
with, like, lighting?
504
00:16:58,818 --> 00:17:00,887
Should they take, like, a
course in lighting design?
505
00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:03,256
You know how the
Kardashians, like, have come up
506
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:04,824
with this whole
contouring your face thing
507
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:06,025
to make it look different?
508
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:07,360
Maybe dude's should start
contouring their dicks
509
00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:08,361
to make them look different.
510
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:09,462
Yeah, I feel
like all the stuff
511
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:10,997
we have to do to
our face, like, guys
512
00:17:11,098 --> 00:17:12,199
should do it to their dicks.
- Yeah.
513
00:17:12,299 --> 00:17:13,100
Concealer.
514
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,501
Foundation.
Mascara.
515
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:15,835
Lip gloss.
516
00:17:15,935 --> 00:17:17,270
Pressed powder could take
the shine off of the head of it
517
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:18,571
when it takes the picture.
- Yeah.
518
00:17:18,671 --> 00:17:19,472
Yeah.
519
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:20,507
Also have something for scale.
520
00:17:20,607 --> 00:17:21,441
Yes.
521
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,476
Like put me me,
like, a TV remote.
522
00:17:23,576 --> 00:17:24,577
Or like a pencil.
523
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:25,645
Well, the TV remote though.
524
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:26,846
Yeah.
525
00:17:26,946 --> 00:17:28,315
Not a lot of guys are
competing with TV remotes.
526
00:17:28,415 --> 00:17:29,382
I'll tell you right now.
527
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:32,685
What pick up line
would work on only you?
528
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:34,521
Do you want to go watch
season four of "The X-Files"
529
00:17:34,621 --> 00:17:35,422
and chill?
530
00:17:37,490 --> 00:17:40,127
What do you think
Oprah's orgasm sounds like?
531
00:17:40,227 --> 00:17:42,395
I think because she's
so loud in real life
532
00:17:42,495 --> 00:17:45,465
that maybe they're just
like not even noticeable.
533
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:48,868
Like, she's probably
just like, yes.
534
00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:49,769
Goodnight.
535
00:17:51,471 --> 00:17:54,874
Have you ever had sex in the
shower or, like, the bathtub?
536
00:17:54,974 --> 00:17:56,176
Yeah, we've had sex in a tub.
537
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:57,910
It's sexy for like five seconds.
538
00:17:58,010 --> 00:18:00,447
And then it's always like,
ow, you're sitting on my leg.
539
00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:01,648
Wait, you got my hair wet.
540
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,950
As soon as my hair gets
wet, everything is ruined.
541
00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:06,786
Is it OK if my Grammy Rose
comes and gives us some advice?
542
00:18:06,886 --> 00:18:08,855
Oh, my God, I would love
advice from your Grammy Rose.
543
00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:09,789
Grammy Rose!
544
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:11,558
Oh, hello!
545
00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:13,126
Welcome, Grammy Rose.
546
00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:15,762
Here's your
grandma Rose's recipe
547
00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:19,432
for the perfectly faked orgasm.
548
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:23,236
Your arch your back, curl
your toes, clutch a buttocks,
549
00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:27,907
and then you shout out all
the vowels straight in a row.
550
00:18:28,007 --> 00:18:28,941
Awoo!
551
00:18:32,945 --> 00:18:34,314
Thanks, Grammy Rose.
552
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:36,283
It always works.
553
00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:37,484
You give the best advice.
554
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:43,556
Your grandma is crazy as shit.
555
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:45,258
Thank you for
coming on our show.
556
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:46,326
Thank you for having me.
557
00:18:46,426 --> 00:18:47,627
As a parting gift,
I would like to give
558
00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:48,761
you this condom balloon.
559
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:49,896
It's strawberry flavored.
560
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:50,797
Wow.
561
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:51,731
I'm not going to lick it.
562
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:52,865
I want to.
563
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:56,903
I wonder if flavored
condoms have calories.
564
00:18:57,003 --> 00:18:57,804
Hi, I'm Glen.
565
00:18:57,904 --> 00:18:59,071
I work at Above Average.
566
00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:01,274
And I have some questions
for Patty, our head of HR,
567
00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:03,310
as to what I can and
can't do in the office.
568
00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:08,281
Patty, I have a friend
who just had a baby.
569
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:09,616
So first of all, gross.
570
00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:12,819
Second of all, she told me
that all companies are legally
571
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:16,789
required to have what's called a
pump room to go and, like, feed
572
00:19:16,889 --> 00:19:18,358
their babies from their boobs.
573
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,159
So we turned your
office into a pump room.
574
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:25,365
As you know, none of our female
employees have just had babies.
575
00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:26,433
That we know of.
576
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:27,967
So we don't actually
need to have one.
577
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:29,269
Well, we have one now.
578
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:30,670
And we used your office.
579
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:33,606
Do you want to go look at it?
580
00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:34,907
Sure.
581
00:19:35,007 --> 00:19:36,175
You know where
your office is right?
582
00:19:36,276 --> 00:19:37,444
- Yep.
- That's a pump room now.
583
00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:38,345
All right.
584
00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:39,246
Oh, my God.
585
00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:42,249
So this is the pump room.
586
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,584
If it's open, it says come
in, we're open for pumping.
587
00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:46,886
And then if someone's
in there, it's sorry,
588
00:19:46,986 --> 00:19:48,255
we're busy pumping our milk.
589
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:50,223
So that you don't accidentally
walk in and see some boobs.
590
00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:51,123
That's good thinking.
591
00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:53,960
So welcome to the pump room.
592
00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:57,730
This is amazing.
593
00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,666
This is where the
mommies sit when they
594
00:19:59,766 --> 00:20:01,534
have a baby on their boobs.
595
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:02,802
Who are these people?
596
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:04,804
This is a little goal chart.
597
00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:06,673
You get a sticker when
you get milk out of you.
598
00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:08,741
This is an inspiration
board for the moms
599
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:10,109
to help get milk out of them.
600
00:20:10,209 --> 00:20:11,844
That'll scare it right out.
601
00:20:11,944 --> 00:20:13,780
So this is a cooler
to put your milk into.
602
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:14,714
Yeah.
603
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:16,283
This is whole,
1%, and fat free,
604
00:20:16,383 --> 00:20:17,550
depending on what you pump.
605
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:19,586
Well, you, like, really
thought this through, huh?
606
00:20:19,686 --> 00:20:20,687
Yeah.
607
00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:22,889
And then because we're,
like, a fair office,
608
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:25,525
this is a side area for
if men want to pump.
609
00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:27,226
But men don't have to
pump because they're men.
610
00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:28,261
Well, they do.
611
00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:29,729
Like, if you need
to pump your penis.
612
00:20:29,829 --> 00:20:32,031
No office in their
right mind would have
613
00:20:32,131 --> 00:20:33,199
a corner dedicated to this.
614
00:20:33,300 --> 00:20:34,934
It's sexist if we don't.
615
00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:37,103
It's not, though, because
women are not masturbating
616
00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:38,104
anywhere in the office.
617
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:39,005
Not that you know of.
618
00:20:39,105 --> 00:20:40,340
Glen, they shouldn't be.
619
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,442
I'm just saying, eating lunch
doesn't take a whole hour.
620
00:20:42,542 --> 00:20:44,377
The guy corner makes no sense.
621
00:20:44,477 --> 00:20:45,745
I don't think any
female is going
622
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:47,380
to want to pump either,
while there's a guy
623
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:48,281
jacking off in the corner.
624
00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:49,181
Also I don't think--
625
00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:50,283
Women can use this chair too!
626
00:20:50,383 --> 00:20:51,484
For pumping breast milk.
627
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:53,286
Women can use this chair
for pumping and jerking
628
00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:54,654
at the same time if they want.
629
00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,523
If that helps them pump.
630
00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:57,424
No.
631
00:20:57,524 --> 00:20:58,758
They got two hands.
632
00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:01,227
Can I tell you the names I
came up with for this corner?
633
00:21:01,328 --> 00:21:03,095
Just because I'm sure you
work really hard on them.
634
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:04,030
I did.
635
00:21:04,130 --> 00:21:05,865
The jerk space,
like a workspace.
636
00:21:05,965 --> 00:21:07,534
The squirt locker.
Boner town.
637
00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:08,601
Cum corner.
638
00:21:08,701 --> 00:21:09,802
We're not having an
ejaculation corner.
639
00:21:09,902 --> 00:21:10,903
Are you worried
about the mess?
640
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:11,804
Because we have a tarp.
641
00:21:11,904 --> 00:21:13,139
Yeah, there is a lot of tarp.
642
00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:15,908
This is where I sit.
643
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:19,546
I would not sit in
that chair if I were you.
644
00:21:19,646 --> 00:21:23,850
What is the rule on moms selling
their breast milk on eBay?
645
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:26,586
You just need to be
working during office hours.
646
00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:27,920
Oh, they're working.
647
00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:30,056
Have you thought about when
people come in here to pump,
648
00:21:30,156 --> 00:21:31,924
where you're going to go work?
649
00:21:32,024 --> 00:21:33,125
No.
650
00:21:33,225 --> 00:21:35,428
Just because we're not
making this the pump room.
651
00:21:35,528 --> 00:21:37,897
If and when you have a baby,
we'll set this right up.
652
00:21:37,997 --> 00:21:38,798
And I will--
653
00:21:38,898 --> 00:21:39,799
I can't have babies.
654
00:21:39,899 --> 00:21:40,800
Oh, my God.
655
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:41,968
Because I just
really don't want to.
656
00:21:42,068 --> 00:21:43,035
I can definitely get pregnant.
657
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:43,936
Oh, OK.
658
00:21:44,036 --> 00:21:45,372
I just-- like, I can't.
659
00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:46,473
OK.
660
00:21:46,573 --> 00:21:47,374
But yeah, thanks so much.
661
00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:48,641
Like, this is really nice.
662
00:21:48,741 --> 00:21:49,809
You're welcome!
663
00:21:49,909 --> 00:21:51,644
Everything but the
masturbating corner.
664
00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:53,312
Oh, that's a good name.
665
00:21:53,413 --> 00:21:54,847
OK, thank you Patty.
Very much.
666
00:21:54,947 --> 00:21:55,782
Yeah, no problem.
667
00:21:55,882 --> 00:21:56,849
And if you could just leave.
668
00:21:56,949 --> 00:21:58,084
I need some privacy
while I pump.
669
00:21:58,184 --> 00:21:58,918
- What?
- Yeah.
670
00:21:59,018 --> 00:22:00,119
This is all for you?
671
00:22:00,219 --> 00:22:01,621
No.
672
00:22:01,721 --> 00:22:03,956
This one.
673
00:22:04,056 --> 00:22:05,892
Oh, God.
45598
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