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1
00:00:04,047 --> 00:00:05,440
Guys, I'm sorry to interrupt.
2
00:00:05,570 --> 00:00:07,137
You're both very handsome
and I like the misfits.
3
00:00:07,268 --> 00:00:08,791
I got to ask you,
are you guys single?
4
00:00:08,921 --> 00:00:10,053
Hey, beautiful
people, would you
5
00:00:10,184 --> 00:00:12,012
like to be a part of our
dating game show happening
6
00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:13,056
upstairs in the YouTube space?
7
00:00:13,187 --> 00:00:14,623
You'll find love.
- We're dating.
8
00:00:14,753 --> 00:00:15,363
Yeah.
- I'm his girlfriend, so no.
9
00:00:15,493 --> 00:00:16,451
- Six years.
- Six year?
10
00:00:16,581 --> 00:00:17,060
- Six years.
- Yeah.
11
00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:18,235
Proposal already.
12
00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:19,193
What am I doing here?
13
00:00:19,323 --> 00:00:20,281
What am I doing with my life?
14
00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:21,717
Hello, how are you?
15
00:00:21,847 --> 00:00:22,935
Can I ask you a question?
16
00:00:23,066 --> 00:00:24,111
Can I interview your fetus?
17
00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:24,981
You can.
18
00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:26,069
So what's it like?
19
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:28,332
What are you eating?
20
00:00:28,463 --> 00:00:29,855
- Whatever mom's eating.
- Why are you talking?
21
00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:30,987
Wait, let me just talk to--
Bye.
22
00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:31,944
Mwah.
You're in?
23
00:00:32,075 --> 00:00:32,815
Yeah, I'm in.
24
00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:34,338
Hug me, Katrina.
25
00:00:34,469 --> 00:00:35,818
All right.
26
00:00:35,948 --> 00:00:37,515
We've just brought up all of
the contestants from the street.
27
00:00:37,646 --> 00:00:39,691
The bachelor has not yet
seen any of the ladies
28
00:00:39,822 --> 00:00:41,128
competing for his heart.
29
00:00:41,258 --> 00:00:42,564
He's going to
ask them some questions
30
00:00:42,694 --> 00:00:45,436
and select the winner
based on their responses.
31
00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:47,264
This
is the show where you
32
00:00:47,395 --> 00:00:49,353
might find true love or sex.
33
00:00:49,484 --> 00:00:50,224
All right.
34
00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:51,529
Let's get started, ladies.
35
00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:52,530
All right.
36
00:00:52,661 --> 00:00:53,792
We have our lovely
contestants here.
37
00:00:53,923 --> 00:00:55,272
Let's first meet
the bachelor today.
38
00:00:55,403 --> 00:00:56,317
Bachelor, what is your name?
39
00:00:56,447 --> 00:00:57,274
My name's Brad.
40
00:00:57,405 --> 00:00:59,276
You look like a
Brad, handsome hunk.
41
00:00:59,407 --> 00:01:00,582
Dave, do you want
to introduce to us,
42
00:01:00,712 --> 00:01:01,800
please, the lady
contestants over there?
43
00:01:01,931 --> 00:01:03,237
I'd love to.
44
00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:04,673
Bachelorette number
one, where are you from?
45
00:01:04,803 --> 00:01:06,457
I'm from Melbourne, Australia.
46
00:01:06,588 --> 00:01:07,328
So you came a long way.
47
00:01:07,458 --> 00:01:08,459
I did.
48
00:01:08,590 --> 00:01:09,634
Bachelorette number
two, where are you from?
49
00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:10,766
I'm from Queens.
50
00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:13,029
Oh, you came a long way.
51
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,640
Bachelorette number
three, where are you from?
52
00:01:15,771 --> 00:01:16,424
Melbourne, Australia.
53
00:01:16,554 --> 00:01:17,773
Oh, OK.
54
00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:18,339
Good interviewing.
55
00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:19,557
Thanks.
56
00:01:19,688 --> 00:01:21,864
I felt like I
was on 60 Minutes.
57
00:01:21,994 --> 00:01:24,127
You see me in a supermarket
and think I'm cute,
58
00:01:24,258 --> 00:01:25,563
how do you start a conversation?
59
00:01:25,694 --> 00:01:27,609
We're going to start with
you, bachelorette number one.
60
00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:31,308
I would get a bag of limes and
then throw them on the floor.
61
00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:33,484
And then get him to help
me pick up the lines,
62
00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:35,747
and say, oh, I'm so
bad at pick up limes.
63
00:01:35,878 --> 00:01:37,358
And then high-five myself.
64
00:01:38,576 --> 00:01:40,317
- Limes.
- That is great.
65
00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:41,536
She reminds me a lot
of my grandmother.
66
00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:43,059
Bachelorette
number three, what
67
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:44,930
would be your opening line?
68
00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:46,845
Bump into him
and then apologize.
69
00:01:46,976 --> 00:01:47,672
And then start it from there.
70
00:01:47,803 --> 00:01:49,457
Hmm, kinky.
71
00:01:49,587 --> 00:01:50,545
- I don't know if it's kinky.
- That's OK.
72
00:01:50,675 --> 00:01:51,415
I didn't know if--
73
00:01:51,546 --> 00:01:52,851
I got confused.
74
00:01:52,982 --> 00:01:55,506
If you could be any breakfast
cereal, which would you be
75
00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:56,507
and why?
Good question.
76
00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:57,552
Interesting.
77
00:01:57,682 --> 00:01:58,553
Bachelorette number
three, we're going
78
00:01:58,683 --> 00:01:59,684
to start with you this time.
79
00:01:59,815 --> 00:02:01,773
Probably Sultana Bran.
80
00:02:01,904 --> 00:02:03,123
I don't know if you
guys have it here.
81
00:02:03,253 --> 00:02:04,994
What about-- what about
if you were a real cereal?
82
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:05,777
I don't really know American.
83
00:02:05,908 --> 00:02:06,952
That's OK.
84
00:02:07,083 --> 00:02:08,171
Why would you be the fake one?
85
00:02:08,302 --> 00:02:10,130
Because it's
healthy and sweet.
86
00:02:10,260 --> 00:02:14,873
Oh, we're
having a good time.
87
00:02:15,004 --> 00:02:16,223
Bachelorette number two.
88
00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:17,528
I guess, Cheerios.
89
00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:19,661
Oh, OK.
90
00:02:19,791 --> 00:02:22,142
Because you're
good for the heart.
91
00:02:22,272 --> 00:02:23,055
Because I'm good
for the heart.
92
00:02:23,186 --> 00:02:24,492
Oh, my god.
93
00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:25,406
Did you think about
that all on your own?
94
00:02:25,536 --> 00:02:26,276
Look at you.
95
00:02:26,407 --> 00:02:27,408
You're a superstar.
96
00:02:27,538 --> 00:02:29,061
Bachelorette number
one, what type of cereal
97
00:02:29,192 --> 00:02:30,498
would you be and why?
98
00:02:30,628 --> 00:02:32,369
I'd say oatmeal just
because I like it.
99
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:33,457
So you like yourself then?
100
00:02:33,588 --> 00:02:34,545
You can have it
sweet or savory.
101
00:02:34,676 --> 00:02:35,720
Oh, yeah.
102
00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:37,331
So I can be nice or mean.
103
00:02:37,461 --> 00:02:39,420
So bachelorette
number one is bipolar.
104
00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:41,900
If you could be any
nationality but your own,
105
00:02:42,031 --> 00:02:43,206
which would you be and why?
106
00:02:43,337 --> 00:02:45,643
Bachelorette number two.
107
00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:48,733
I would have to say Brazilian.
108
00:02:48,864 --> 00:02:52,868
The warm weather that they have
out there and their culture
109
00:02:52,998 --> 00:02:53,912
and their music.
110
00:02:54,043 --> 00:02:55,262
And they do do a great wax.
111
00:02:55,392 --> 00:02:56,306
They do.
112
00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:57,177
They do.
113
00:02:57,307 --> 00:02:58,569
Wait, how do you
know about that?
114
00:02:58,700 --> 00:02:59,614
Yeah.
115
00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:00,876
It's time for you
to make a decision.
116
00:03:01,006 --> 00:03:03,487
So I ask you Brad, of
these three ladies,
117
00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:05,185
who is it that you would like
to spend the rest of your life
118
00:03:05,315 --> 00:03:06,055
with?
119
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,491
I'm going to go number three.
120
00:03:07,622 --> 00:03:08,884
Number three.
121
00:03:09,014 --> 00:03:11,669
Bachelorette number
three, what is your name?
122
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:12,540
Laura.
123
00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,106
Laura, go meet Brad.
124
00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:15,369
Please meet
in the center.
125
00:03:15,499 --> 00:03:17,022
Oh, that's what we like to see.
126
00:03:17,153 --> 00:03:17,893
Oh.
127
00:03:18,023 --> 00:03:19,503
All right, guys.
128
00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:20,765
I think we do have a
tradition every time we bring
129
00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:22,158
a couple like this
together, we'd like to have
130
00:03:22,289 --> 00:03:23,594
you share the first dance.
131
00:03:23,725 --> 00:03:25,683
So would you guys just
get into position?
132
00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:27,163
Maybe you could put
your hands back there.
133
00:03:27,294 --> 00:03:28,599
You guys enjoying this?
- Yeah.
134
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:30,166
- Yeah, it's all right.
- OK.
135
00:03:30,297 --> 00:03:31,472
We're going to sway with you.
136
00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:33,778
So you can't hear the
music, but it's there.
137
00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:41,090
All right.
138
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,657
Let's bring our
other contestants in.
139
00:03:42,787 --> 00:03:45,573
We want to thank our
wonderful contestants today.
140
00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:47,270
And we hope that maybe
next time we can make yet
141
00:03:47,401 --> 00:03:51,231
another love connection here.
142
00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:56,061
Monkey love.
143
00:03:56,192 --> 00:03:57,062
Yeah.
144
00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:01,502
Yeah.
145
00:04:01,632 --> 00:04:02,938
Monkey love.
146
00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,247
Thank you for meeting
me all the way out here,
147
00:04:07,377 --> 00:04:08,770
Ms. Pickles.
148
00:04:08,900 --> 00:04:11,860
I know it's not ideal, but we
need to keep things discreet.
149
00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:14,732
A respected senator
like myself can't
150
00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:16,430
be caught sneaking off in
the middle of the night
151
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:19,868
with a hot babe like you.
152
00:04:19,998 --> 00:04:22,000
Oh my, god, look at you.
153
00:04:22,131 --> 00:04:25,961
I just want to touch you
and stroke your hair.
154
00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:29,051
Nobody can find out about
this, especially not my wife,
155
00:04:29,181 --> 00:04:31,575
my plain and lovely wife.
156
00:04:31,706 --> 00:04:33,098
Yuck.
157
00:04:33,229 --> 00:04:34,970
The other day, she brought
me breakfast in bed.
158
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:36,145
Who does that?
159
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,539
Ugh, crumbs all over the place.
160
00:04:38,669 --> 00:04:39,627
It was gross.
161
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:41,585
I just get so bored of it all.
162
00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:45,937
Always voting on bills
and shaking hands
163
00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:48,679
with chubby people I
don't even care about.
164
00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:52,770
Sometimes, I just
get so, mmm, horny.
165
00:04:52,901 --> 00:04:54,729
But I need to keep up
appearances for the public, Ms.
166
00:04:54,859 --> 00:04:56,905
Pickles, because I'm
representing the people
167
00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:58,515
of my state and all that shit.
168
00:04:58,646 --> 00:05:01,475
I can't be seen, mmm,
touching your nipples
169
00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:02,911
and your butt cheeks.
170
00:05:03,041 --> 00:05:04,391
Oh, my god.
171
00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:05,827
I wish we didn't have
to play this game,
172
00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:06,958
but if people found out--
- Oh, hey, oh.
173
00:05:07,089 --> 00:05:08,525
Son of a bitch.
174
00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:10,092
You're that senator from
the government, right?
175
00:05:10,222 --> 00:05:11,528
Yes.
176
00:05:11,659 --> 00:05:13,878
Hello there, working
class voting man.
177
00:05:14,009 --> 00:05:14,923
Oh, man.
178
00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:16,751
Who is this smoking
babe you're with?
179
00:05:18,927 --> 00:05:19,928
Hey, watch yourself.
180
00:05:20,058 --> 00:05:22,844
This is one of my top
political advisors.
181
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:23,714
Oh, yeah.
182
00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:24,585
OK.
183
00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:25,586
All right, then bye.
184
00:05:25,716 --> 00:05:27,283
That was close.
185
00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:28,458
Oh, my god.
186
00:05:28,589 --> 00:05:30,330
What are you doing?
187
00:05:30,460 --> 00:05:33,768
Why are you sucking on those
mashed potatoes like that?
188
00:05:33,898 --> 00:05:36,205
Are you trying to get me
all hot and bothered here?
189
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,162
Oh, yeah.
190
00:05:37,293 --> 00:05:38,860
Oh, my goodness.
191
00:05:38,990 --> 00:05:39,730
No.
192
00:05:40,731 --> 00:05:42,559
Mmm.
193
00:05:42,690 --> 00:05:45,736
Oh, sweet mother.
194
00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,956
That's it, I need you right now.
195
00:05:48,086 --> 00:05:49,871
I don't care who sees.
196
00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:53,831
I want the world to know I'm
hot for you, Ms. Pickles.
197
00:05:57,748 --> 00:05:59,141
Oh, got it.
198
00:05:59,271 --> 00:06:02,187
Oh, I'm going to sell this to
the news for a million dollars.
199
00:06:02,318 --> 00:06:05,843
so scared to lose.
200
00:06:05,974 --> 00:06:06,540
OK.
201
00:06:10,065 --> 00:06:11,893
Spider-Man.
202
00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:13,721
Oh,
Spider-Man, thank you
203
00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:16,245
so much for saving me
from the Green Goblin
204
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,855
and bringing me home.
205
00:06:17,986 --> 00:06:19,422
Hey, it's all in a day's
work for your friendly
206
00:06:19,553 --> 00:06:20,902
neighborhood
Spider-Man, even if that
207
00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:23,731
neighborhood is in New Jersey.
208
00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:26,908
You know, I just want to say,
you have a really lovely home.
209
00:06:27,038 --> 00:06:29,301
I think my entire New
York City apartment would
210
00:06:29,432 --> 00:06:30,912
fit inside your living room.
211
00:06:31,042 --> 00:06:33,871
Oh, you mean you don't have
a spider castle or something?
212
00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:34,742
Who am I?
213
00:06:34,872 --> 00:06:35,873
Dr. Doom?
214
00:06:36,004 --> 00:06:38,136
Green Goblin might
have been after my boss
215
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:39,355
because this morning, I--
216
00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:40,574
Hey, just curious, sorry.
217
00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:42,663
How many bedrooms
does your place have?
218
00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:43,664
Oh, we have three bedrooms.
219
00:06:43,794 --> 00:06:44,839
Wow.
220
00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:46,710
So enough for you and--
221
00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:47,842
My husband and son.
222
00:06:47,972 --> 00:06:49,626
Right, right.
223
00:06:49,757 --> 00:06:51,933
And if you had an elderly aunt
you needed to take care of?
224
00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:53,500
We'd have the
room, but then we
225
00:06:53,630 --> 00:06:55,066
wouldn't have a guest bedroom.
226
00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:56,372
A guest bedroom?
227
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:57,721
I have to sleep
in a hammock made
228
00:06:57,852 --> 00:06:59,854
out of webbing in
a closet, which
229
00:06:59,984 --> 00:07:01,421
dissolves hourly by the way.
230
00:07:01,551 --> 00:07:02,813
I don't get a lot of
consecutive hours of--
231
00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:04,772
My boss goes on
long trips upstate.
232
00:07:04,902 --> 00:07:05,642
Oh, OK.
233
00:07:05,773 --> 00:07:06,600
Right, right.
234
00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:08,123
So have you seen
anything suspicious?
235
00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:09,777
No.
236
00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:11,996
I don't see much because I
started working from home
237
00:07:12,127 --> 00:07:13,084
a couple of days a week.
238
00:07:13,215 --> 00:07:13,955
Shut your mouth.
239
00:07:14,085 --> 00:07:15,478
Are you serious?
240
00:07:15,609 --> 00:07:17,175
Yeah, I have a home office.
241
00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:18,176
No, you don't.
242
00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:19,830
Are we arguing?
243
00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:21,528
I don't think so,
because we both think
244
00:07:21,658 --> 00:07:23,312
your house is amazing.
245
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,356
A home office?
246
00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:26,228
You get to set your own hours?
247
00:07:26,358 --> 00:07:28,273
Oh, Spider-Man, I think
I know why the Green
248
00:07:28,404 --> 00:07:29,971
Goblin was chasing me.
249
00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:31,189
You see, this morning--
250
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:32,843
Was it because he
wanted to go for a swim
251
00:07:32,974 --> 00:07:34,323
in your in-ground pool?
252
00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:35,411
Because damn,
woman, that is nice.
253
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:36,804
No.
254
00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:39,110
No, I grabbed this
flash drive from my boss
255
00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:40,895
by mistake this morning.
256
00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:42,287
Oh, OK.
257
00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:44,028
Well, then we need to see
what's on that flash drive.
258
00:07:44,159 --> 00:07:45,160
Where's your computer?
259
00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:46,509
In the computer room.
260
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:47,641
You mean the home office?
261
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:48,729
Oh, no.
262
00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:51,253
I have a home office
and a computer room.
263
00:07:51,383 --> 00:07:52,950
I hate you so much.
264
00:07:53,081 --> 00:07:53,908
Aah.
265
00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:55,910
Watch out, that's
a pumpkin bomb.
266
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:59,870
Come out, come out, come out
to your expansive back patio
267
00:08:00,001 --> 00:08:01,872
with fire pit.
268
00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:04,353
Oh, who'd you have to
kill to get this deal?
269
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,224
Seriously, who'd you kill?
270
00:08:06,355 --> 00:08:07,661
I'm hiding in the basement.
271
00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:08,575
Basement?
272
00:08:08,705 --> 00:08:12,448
Hey, Goblin, you
dropped something.
273
00:08:12,579 --> 00:08:13,841
Nicole, Nicole,
you have a basement?
274
00:08:13,971 --> 00:08:14,755
Yeah.
275
00:08:14,885 --> 00:08:16,670
I live in a
basement right now,
276
00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:18,410
underneath a Chinese restaurant.
277
00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:20,804
Everything I own
smells like egg rolls.
278
00:08:20,935 --> 00:08:24,460
Oh, god, what am I
doing with my life?
279
00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:27,028
You know, with so many villains
crowding around New York City
280
00:08:27,158 --> 00:08:28,551
right now, it's only
a matter of time
281
00:08:28,682 --> 00:08:30,466
before they move to
the outer areas, OK?
282
00:08:30,597 --> 00:08:32,860
You and your family may
need protection from--
283
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:34,296
You can't move in with me.
284
00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:35,863
Son of a bitch.
285
00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:41,999
That's
No, no, no, no, no.
286
00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:43,174
Hi, I'm Glenn.
287
00:08:43,305 --> 00:08:44,741
I just started working
here at Above Average,
288
00:08:44,872 --> 00:08:47,439
and I had some questions
for Patty, our head of HR,
289
00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:49,877
as to what I can and
can't do in the office.
290
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:54,534
Can I smoke pot in the office?
291
00:08:54,664 --> 00:08:55,447
Nope.
292
00:08:55,578 --> 00:08:56,884
What if it's
just a little bit?
293
00:08:57,014 --> 00:08:58,233
It's not legal.
294
00:08:58,363 --> 00:08:59,582
What if I really want to?
295
00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:01,062
Still not legal.
296
00:09:01,192 --> 00:09:02,977
So don't smoke pot
in the office anymore.
297
00:09:03,107 --> 00:09:05,936
OK, what if I hate closing
the stall door when I pee?
298
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:07,677
Is that OK?
299
00:09:07,808 --> 00:09:09,331
No, you're going to
have to close the door.
300
00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:10,375
OK.
Hear me out.
301
00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:11,594
OK.
302
00:09:11,725 --> 00:09:13,378
If I'm sexually
harassing someone
303
00:09:13,509 --> 00:09:16,033
but I say it's sexual
harassment, is that OK?
304
00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:18,079
Sexual harassment is never OK.
305
00:09:18,209 --> 00:09:19,776
Kind of saw that one coming.
306
00:09:19,907 --> 00:09:21,996
So if I want to ask people
who in the office would
307
00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:24,868
you most want to have
sex with, is that OK?
308
00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:27,218
It's a fun question.
309
00:09:27,349 --> 00:09:28,219
It's like work talk.
310
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:29,743
No.
311
00:09:29,873 --> 00:09:31,440
If I fart on
Andrew, is that OK?
312
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,963
Not OK.
313
00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:34,835
If it's on accident
though, I can't get fired?
314
00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:36,140
- Correct.
- OK.
315
00:09:36,271 --> 00:09:37,446
But he's not going
to accidentally
316
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,274
like be under your butt.
317
00:09:39,404 --> 00:09:40,231
No, that would be crazy.
318
00:09:40,362 --> 00:09:41,972
Yeah.
319
00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:43,495
But again, you're not going
to be doing this on purpose.
320
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:44,366
No, no.
321
00:09:44,496 --> 00:09:45,541
This is accident.
322
00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:48,457
Yeah, it'll be on accident.
323
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:49,632
Can I wear pants to work?
324
00:09:49,763 --> 00:09:50,590
Is that OK?
325
00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:51,503
Absolutely.
326
00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:53,462
Just pants though.
327
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:54,811
No.
328
00:09:54,942 --> 00:09:56,813
Too bad, I got a
great pair of pants.
329
00:09:56,944 --> 00:09:58,989
Sometimes my hands get tired
and so I rest them like this,
330
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:00,208
is that OK?
331
00:10:00,338 --> 00:10:02,558
If it makes anyone
around you uncomfortable--
332
00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:03,690
It does.
333
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:04,560
Then you can't.
334
00:10:04,691 --> 00:10:07,389
Oh, OK.
335
00:10:07,519 --> 00:10:11,393
So what if I needed to make up
a list of just different words
336
00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:13,525
for jizz, is that OK?
337
00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:15,266
Why would you need it?
338
00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:17,529
To easy-- for easy reference.
339
00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:18,792
So I can just look
and be like, yes.
340
00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:19,923
Yeah.
341
00:10:20,054 --> 00:10:23,187
Like I've just been
calling it my jizz list.
342
00:10:23,318 --> 00:10:24,754
I'm sorry.
343
00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:25,973
We can move on if you're
getting uncomfortable.
344
00:10:26,103 --> 00:10:27,278
Yeah, let's move on.
345
00:10:27,409 --> 00:10:29,280
I'm just going to mark
that down as a maybe.
346
00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:31,892
I stuck something on Andrew's
chair so he would sit on it,
347
00:10:32,022 --> 00:10:33,284
is that OK?
348
00:10:33,415 --> 00:10:34,285
Is it a cushion?
349
00:10:34,416 --> 00:10:35,678
No, it's my thumb.
350
00:10:35,809 --> 00:10:38,942
So right before he
goes to sit down.
351
00:10:39,073 --> 00:10:40,074
Just that.
352
00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:41,728
No, no.
353
00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:43,991
So what if I prefer to
call it "the shitter" instead
354
00:10:44,121 --> 00:10:45,557
of the bathroom, is that OK?
355
00:10:45,688 --> 00:10:47,298
Like if your parents
came to the office,
356
00:10:47,429 --> 00:10:49,518
I'd be like, heading to the
shitter, got to drop the kids
357
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:51,781
off at the pool in the shitter.
358
00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:53,914
Hey, let's start a trash
fire in the shitter.
359
00:10:54,044 --> 00:10:54,958
Do you wash your
hands in the shitter?
360
00:10:55,089 --> 00:10:56,394
I don't.
361
00:10:56,525 --> 00:10:58,179
One, da, da, da, shitter two
da, da, da, what a shitter,
362
00:10:58,309 --> 00:10:59,223
da, da, da.
363
00:10:59,354 --> 00:11:02,400
It's yours for the
price of number two.
364
00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:03,271
Nope, nope.
365
00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:04,141
All right.
366
00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:05,012
Well, I tried.
367
00:11:05,142 --> 00:11:06,404
All right.
368
00:11:06,535 --> 00:11:07,884
That's all the questions
I have for today.
369
00:11:08,015 --> 00:11:09,233
Thank you so much
for meeting with me,
370
00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:13,411
and I will definitely
not do these things.
371
00:11:13,542 --> 00:11:14,674
Please, don't.
372
00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:17,415
Wow.
373
00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:19,896
Come on.
374
00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:20,897
Hey.
375
00:11:34,955 --> 00:11:36,783
What you want, what you need.
376
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:44,051
Back and forth in the weeds.
377
00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:47,619
No matter where you
go or what you see,
378
00:11:47,750 --> 00:11:49,012
hey, you gotta get funky.
379
00:11:53,016 --> 00:11:55,540
In space and time,
be out of line.
380
00:11:58,413 --> 00:12:02,852
Getting up and feeling fine.
381
00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:06,769
You've got yours
and I've got mine.
382
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:07,727
You gotta get funky.
383
00:12:15,647 --> 00:12:16,518
You know.
384
00:12:41,499 --> 00:12:43,023
Wow.
385
00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:45,503
Come on.
386
00:12:45,634 --> 00:12:46,504
Hey.
387
00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:54,382
Welcome to Never Seen It where
we talk about a popular movie
388
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:56,863
that we've never seen and we try
to figure out what it's about.
389
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,865
This week, we're talking
about "Star Wars: A New Hope".
390
00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:04,218
And we are talking with
Melody, Glenn, and Matt
391
00:13:04,348 --> 00:13:05,567
who have never seen it.
392
00:13:05,697 --> 00:13:08,613
The show's called Never Seen It.
393
00:13:08,744 --> 00:13:10,006
So let's start from
the beginning--
394
00:13:10,137 --> 00:13:11,529
what is Star Wars about?
395
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:13,662
I think the evil--
396
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,577
Darth Vader wants to take
over all the planets.
397
00:13:15,707 --> 00:13:19,276
Yeah, evil empire, the Death
Star, I know that's the thing.
398
00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:20,408
Do they call it
the Death Star?
399
00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:21,931
That's the official name?
400
00:13:22,062 --> 00:13:24,716
The people on the Death
Star call it the Death Star?
401
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:26,196
I'm never going to
answer your question.
402
00:13:27,589 --> 00:13:28,546
I think
probably
403
00:13:28,677 --> 00:13:31,027
a planet or something
called Tattooine?
404
00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:35,031
I think it's where
Luke Skywalker lives.
405
00:13:35,162 --> 00:13:36,598
Yeah.
406
00:13:36,728 --> 00:13:38,382
So where's Earth?
407
00:13:38,513 --> 00:13:40,776
There's-- in the beginning
there's that scrolling text,
408
00:13:40,907 --> 00:13:42,125
right?
That's a thing
409
00:13:42,256 --> 00:13:43,997
Oh, that probably would
answer all of these questions.
410
00:13:45,302 --> 00:13:47,043
I think there's a lot
of information in that.
411
00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:49,567
But isn't in the beginning
something like in the galaxy--
412
00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:50,742
Far, far away.
Oh, far away.
413
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:52,048
Far, far away.
Yeah.
414
00:13:52,179 --> 00:13:53,963
Is Jar Jar Binks in Star Wars?
415
00:13:54,094 --> 00:13:54,921
Yes.
416
00:13:55,051 --> 00:13:56,661
Yeah, he is in
that universe, but I
417
00:13:56,792 --> 00:13:58,098
don't think he's in this movie.
418
00:13:58,228 --> 00:13:59,360
He's embarrassing.
419
00:13:59,490 --> 00:14:00,448
- So I have a question.
- Sure.
420
00:14:00,578 --> 00:14:01,928
We haven't talked
about the force yet.
421
00:14:02,058 --> 00:14:03,190
Yeah.
422
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,366
Actually, my next question
is what is the force?
423
00:14:05,496 --> 00:14:06,846
I don't know at all.
424
00:14:06,976 --> 00:14:08,369
Me neither.
425
00:14:08,499 --> 00:14:10,980
It's got to be with you,
because I know that scene
426
00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:13,156
where he grabs the guy's
neck from across the room
427
00:14:13,287 --> 00:14:14,201
or something.
- Yes.
428
00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:15,376
Wait, what?
Darth Vader does that?
429
00:14:15,506 --> 00:14:16,812
Yeah.
430
00:14:16,943 --> 00:14:17,552
There's some kind of
thing where he does that
431
00:14:17,682 --> 00:14:18,945
and somebody gets choked out.
432
00:14:19,075 --> 00:14:22,383
I find your lack
of faith disturbing.
433
00:14:22,513 --> 00:14:24,776
I thought it was just
being good at lightsabers.
434
00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:26,996
But I don't understand like
if it's the ability to choke out
435
00:14:27,127 --> 00:14:29,390
somebody from across the room.
436
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:32,175
They all have giant
spaceships that shoot lasers,
437
00:14:32,306 --> 00:14:34,308
it seems like that's not a
useful ability in that world.
438
00:14:38,051 --> 00:14:39,487
Chewie, what's his deal?
439
00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:40,357
What's he sound like?
440
00:14:40,488 --> 00:14:42,142
I'd love an impression of him.
441
00:14:45,710 --> 00:14:46,886
Something like that.
442
00:14:49,323 --> 00:14:50,585
You think Yoda was a
big part of this movie?
443
00:14:50,715 --> 00:14:54,023
I think Yoda's too old
to actually train Luke,
444
00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:56,678
and so Yoda says,
hey, Obi-Wan Kenobi,
445
00:14:56,808 --> 00:14:58,201
will you train Luke for me?
446
00:14:58,332 --> 00:14:59,637
Because I'm too tired.
447
00:14:59,768 --> 00:15:01,422
Yeah, there's a lot of him
just taking naps and stuff.
448
00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:04,904
Han Solo has a ship, I
think that's what it is--
449
00:15:05,034 --> 00:15:06,253
Han Solo owns a ship.
450
00:15:06,383 --> 00:15:08,124
What's the name of that ship?
451
00:15:08,255 --> 00:15:09,473
I'm just going
to say The Empire.
452
00:15:09,604 --> 00:15:11,388
I'd say it's
a pretty famous ship name.
453
00:15:11,519 --> 00:15:12,781
It's not the Death Star?
454
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,217
The Quantum-- it's
not the Quantum.
455
00:15:14,348 --> 00:15:15,523
Something Enterprise?
Enterprise something.
456
00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:16,480
Oh, the Enterprise?
457
00:15:16,611 --> 00:15:18,047
It's the Enterprise.
458
00:15:18,178 --> 00:15:20,571
Yup, we got it, let's move on.
459
00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:22,399
You've never heard of
the Millennium Falcon?
460
00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:25,576
So this movie ends how then?
461
00:15:25,707 --> 00:15:26,534
Lightsaber battle.
462
00:15:26,664 --> 00:15:28,928
I feel like it's the climax.
463
00:15:29,058 --> 00:15:30,538
And I think he
falls down the shaft,
464
00:15:30,668 --> 00:15:32,018
the Luke Skywalker
falls down the shaft.
465
00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:33,367
He says, Luke, I am your father.
466
00:15:33,497 --> 00:15:35,282
He's like, no, I was fighting
my dad this whole time.
467
00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:36,761
And then he falls.
468
00:15:36,892 --> 00:15:39,460
Darth Vader tells Luke that
he's his father in this movie?
469
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:40,635
Yeah.
470
00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:41,636
OK.
471
00:15:41,766 --> 00:15:43,116
- Oh, no.
- Oh, no.
472
00:15:43,246 --> 00:15:43,986
Father.
473
00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:45,248
Does he not?
474
00:15:45,379 --> 00:15:47,207
No.
475
00:15:47,337 --> 00:15:49,252
I'm so sorry to tell
you that you got it wrong.
476
00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:55,128
You got a bunch
of things right,
477
00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:57,913
but I would say got some
bigger things wrong.
478
00:15:58,044 --> 00:16:00,350
How have you never
seen this movie?
479
00:16:00,481 --> 00:16:05,312
I was cool in high
school, so I didn't see it.
480
00:16:05,442 --> 00:16:08,445
I was fulfilling my dream of
living by myself in New York
481
00:16:08,576 --> 00:16:11,753
City, then my sister moved in.
482
00:16:11,883 --> 00:16:14,495
I left my stupid job
and my short husband
483
00:16:14,625 --> 00:16:19,500
to come move to New York City,
teach my sister the ropes.
484
00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:20,327
I'm Belle.
485
00:16:20,457 --> 00:16:21,241
And I'm Bernice.
486
00:16:21,371 --> 00:16:22,111
And we're--
487
00:16:22,242 --> 00:16:23,199
Livin' in the city.
488
00:16:26,115 --> 00:16:26,855
Shut up.
489
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,900
Shut up.
490
00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:29,858
I'm just trying to think.
491
00:16:36,734 --> 00:16:38,388
You know how at
the end of a long day
492
00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:40,521
you just want to
come home and relax?
493
00:16:40,651 --> 00:16:43,350
I don't want to come home.
494
00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:46,744
Oh, you scared me.
495
00:16:46,875 --> 00:16:48,659
Is everything OK?
496
00:16:48,790 --> 00:16:51,619
Where were you
today for three hours?
497
00:16:51,749 --> 00:16:53,360
I was having lunch
with my friend Jesse.
498
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:55,057
You remember Jesse from home?
499
00:16:55,188 --> 00:16:56,667
The only person
I remember from
500
00:16:56,798 --> 00:17:00,149
home is a little snot-nosed
brat I used to get my business.
501
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:03,196
Oh, wait, that was you.
502
00:17:03,326 --> 00:17:04,458
You know, if
you're in a bad mood,
503
00:17:04,588 --> 00:17:06,068
we don't need to
hang out tonight.
504
00:17:06,199 --> 00:17:07,243
I was going to go to bed anyway.
505
00:17:07,374 --> 00:17:09,028
I have a question.
506
00:17:09,158 --> 00:17:10,333
More of a theory.
507
00:17:10,464 --> 00:17:11,987
A theory to posit.
508
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:14,816
A theory to posit
for peer review.
509
00:17:14,946 --> 00:17:15,686
Go for it.
510
00:17:15,817 --> 00:17:19,342
I'm really scared.
511
00:17:19,473 --> 00:17:22,258
Why would you have one
apartment that you pretended
512
00:17:22,389 --> 00:17:24,739
was your only apartment,
but then secretly have
513
00:17:24,869 --> 00:17:26,958
a second apartment that
you told other people was
514
00:17:27,089 --> 00:17:28,438
in fact your only apartment?
515
00:17:28,569 --> 00:17:29,918
I don't know.
It sounds expensive.
516
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,311
Uh-huh.
Is it?
517
00:17:31,441 --> 00:17:32,181
I don't know.
518
00:17:32,312 --> 00:17:33,269
I don't do it.
519
00:17:36,403 --> 00:17:37,578
Really?
520
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:43,323
Then tell me, why do you
have two sets of keys?
521
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:45,629
One is my set of
keys and the other one
522
00:17:45,760 --> 00:17:49,459
is the spare set of keys
in case mom wants to visit.
523
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:52,636
Dual lives.
524
00:17:52,767 --> 00:17:54,899
A double identity.
525
00:17:55,030 --> 00:17:56,205
A secret life.
526
00:18:00,035 --> 00:18:03,343
I know who would do that.
527
00:18:03,473 --> 00:18:07,738
The girl who pretends
to be my best friend.
528
00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:11,655
My best friend sister.
529
00:18:11,786 --> 00:18:17,400
She's doing it right now,
standing here lying to me
530
00:18:17,531 --> 00:18:19,620
while she knows she
keeps a second apartment
531
00:18:19,750 --> 00:18:21,187
somewhere else.
532
00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:24,103
If I had another
apartment, I would
533
00:18:24,233 --> 00:18:27,062
definitely be there right now.
534
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:30,413
Is this about why you
left your husband?
535
00:18:30,544 --> 00:18:33,590
I left Alan.
536
00:18:33,721 --> 00:18:35,679
He didn't leave me, by the way.
537
00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:37,072
I didn't think he did.
538
00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:39,553
He was always very,
very friendly,
539
00:18:39,683 --> 00:18:42,817
like overly friendly
and touchy-feely
540
00:18:42,947 --> 00:18:44,775
with pretty much everybody.
541
00:18:44,906 --> 00:18:46,647
So I didn't know
what could be wrong.
542
00:18:46,777 --> 00:18:48,475
He was boring.
543
00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:50,694
OK.
544
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:04,273
We're going to be alone
forever, you and me together.
545
00:19:04,404 --> 00:19:06,754
We're
going to be alone.
546
00:19:06,884 --> 00:19:08,756
We're going to be alone.
547
00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:10,845
We're going to be alone.
548
00:19:10,975 --> 00:19:11,889
We're going to be alone.
549
00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:36,000
Do you want
to get in your own bed?
550
00:19:36,131 --> 00:19:37,611
Do you want to go
get in your own bed?
551
00:19:42,268 --> 00:19:44,487
I wish I could be happier.
552
00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:53,366
Hello, and welcome
to Cocktales.
553
00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:55,629
My guest today, you've
seen her on "Girl Code",
554
00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:58,240
and she has an upcoming
show called "Loosely Exactly
555
00:19:58,371 --> 00:20:00,111
Nicole", based on her life.
556
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:01,156
Please welcome Nicole Byer.
557
00:20:01,287 --> 00:20:02,026
Hello.
558
00:20:02,157 --> 00:20:05,029
Hello.
559
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,597
So Nicole, if
anything I say or ask
560
00:20:07,728 --> 00:20:09,773
you makes you feel
uncomfortable, just use today's
561
00:20:09,904 --> 00:20:12,036
safe word, which is "Idaho".
562
00:20:12,167 --> 00:20:13,821
Idaho.
563
00:20:13,951 --> 00:20:16,780
What sex and love advice would
you give your teenage self?
564
00:20:16,911 --> 00:20:21,263
I would tell my teenage
self to stop being so giving.
565
00:20:21,394 --> 00:20:22,438
Make those men
give you something.
566
00:20:22,569 --> 00:20:23,700
Yeah.
567
00:20:23,831 --> 00:20:24,919
If you're going to blow
a guy, he's gotta at least
568
00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:25,876
go down on you.
569
00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:27,138
Absolutely.
570
00:20:27,269 --> 00:20:28,139
There's been times
I've blown a guy
571
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:29,576
and he's just like, OK, goodbye.
572
00:20:30,577 --> 00:20:32,361
And it's just like, hey.
573
00:20:32,492 --> 00:20:35,059
What were some of your
embarrassing adolescent
574
00:20:35,190 --> 00:20:37,279
misconceptions about sex?
575
00:20:37,410 --> 00:20:40,456
I found a book in the library
called "Our Bodies Ourselves".
576
00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:42,284
And then I was reading it
and I was like, oh, my god.
577
00:20:42,415 --> 00:20:43,981
I was like, mom, did
daddy do this to you?
578
00:20:44,112 --> 00:20:44,852
And she was like, yes.
579
00:20:44,982 --> 00:20:47,333
And I was like, oh, why?
580
00:20:47,463 --> 00:20:48,551
And I got older and I
was like, ooh, yeah,
581
00:20:48,682 --> 00:20:50,161
I want a daddy to do that to me.
582
00:20:50,292 --> 00:20:53,469
What's your
favorite role playing scenario?
583
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:56,255
My favorite role
playing scenario?
584
00:20:56,385 --> 00:20:57,647
Like I want to be
somebody smart.
585
00:20:57,778 --> 00:21:00,215
Like wear a lab
coat and be like,
586
00:21:00,346 --> 00:21:01,999
the specimen samples are bad.
587
00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:05,220
Then .
588
00:21:05,351 --> 00:21:07,875
I just want to be a
very smart person.
589
00:21:08,005 --> 00:21:10,530
So I'm going to list some
qualities in a man or a woman
590
00:21:10,660 --> 00:21:12,140
and I want you to tell me
if you feel that they're
591
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:13,489
a turn on or a turn off.
592
00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:14,403
OK.
593
00:21:14,534 --> 00:21:16,318
Erotic literature
that he wrote.
594
00:21:16,449 --> 00:21:17,450
Oh, boy.
595
00:21:17,580 --> 00:21:19,930
If he wrote me a
little nasty poem, OK.
596
00:21:20,061 --> 00:21:21,671
Yay.
597
00:21:21,802 --> 00:21:23,238
You can read it to me and
then go down on me, that's nice.
598
00:21:23,369 --> 00:21:24,108
Yeah, I'll feel special.
599
00:21:24,239 --> 00:21:24,979
Mm-hmm.
600
00:21:25,109 --> 00:21:26,154
He's left-handed.
601
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,156
Maybe a turn off.
602
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:29,940
Although if he's left-handed
and you're right-handed,
603
00:21:30,071 --> 00:21:32,291
then when you breed,
your kids will be strong.
604
00:21:32,421 --> 00:21:33,161
Maybe.
605
00:21:33,292 --> 00:21:37,208
Maybe they'll be ambidextrous.
606
00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:40,342
Has an art history minor.
607
00:21:41,517 --> 00:21:42,866
Going all night long.
608
00:21:42,997 --> 00:21:43,737
Well, it depends.
609
00:21:43,867 --> 00:21:45,042
Are we driving?
610
00:21:45,173 --> 00:21:46,870
Are we going somewhere
all night long?
611
00:21:47,001 --> 00:21:49,308
Or are we
all night long?
612
00:21:49,438 --> 00:21:50,352
Because both are not great.
613
00:21:51,353 --> 00:21:52,223
I get tired very easily.
614
00:21:52,354 --> 00:21:53,094
Me too.
615
00:21:53,224 --> 00:21:54,400
We don't need to draw this out.
616
00:21:54,530 --> 00:21:55,488
No.
617
00:21:55,618 --> 00:21:57,577
Yeah, it's not like
a Judd Apatow movie.
618
00:21:57,707 --> 00:21:58,447
Let's just--
619
00:21:59,883 --> 00:22:01,494
Let's have our sex life
be the equivalent of a Vine
620
00:22:01,624 --> 00:22:02,364
or an Instagram video.
621
00:22:02,495 --> 00:22:03,409
Yes.
622
00:22:03,539 --> 00:22:04,584
Oh, that was good.
623
00:22:04,714 --> 00:22:05,889
We sound so not fun.
624
00:22:08,065 --> 00:22:09,937
I want six seconds
of sex, that's it.
625
00:22:10,067 --> 00:22:11,678
Get to the point, get out.
626
00:22:11,808 --> 00:22:13,332
So I'm going to give
you the names of a couple
627
00:22:13,462 --> 00:22:14,811
of different porn parodies.
628
00:22:14,942 --> 00:22:15,682
OK.
629
00:22:15,812 --> 00:22:16,639
And I want you to pick one.
630
00:22:16,770 --> 00:22:18,206
And then we'll improvise
the first scene.
631
00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:19,076
Great.
632
00:22:19,207 --> 00:22:20,034
Reservoir Dogs.
633
00:22:21,905 --> 00:22:25,344
Field of Wet Dreams, Willy
Wonka and the Sperm Factory,
634
00:22:25,474 --> 00:22:27,520
and Full Metal Jack Off.
635
00:22:27,650 --> 00:22:29,826
I think I like
Field of Wet Dreams.
636
00:22:29,957 --> 00:22:30,958
OK.
637
00:22:31,088 --> 00:22:32,525
I think that's very silly.
638
00:22:32,655 --> 00:22:35,049
I could use a ball.
639
00:22:35,179 --> 00:22:39,445
Ooh, I could also use
a ball and more bats.
640
00:22:39,575 --> 00:22:40,620
You know what
would be so nice?
641
00:22:40,750 --> 00:22:41,795
What?
642
00:22:41,925 --> 00:22:44,667
Is if this field were wet.
643
00:22:44,798 --> 00:22:46,539
I'll tell you
something, I'm wet.
644
00:22:48,105 --> 00:22:48,845
Cut.
645
00:22:50,673 --> 00:22:52,501
Nicole, thank you so much
for being a wonderful guest
646
00:22:52,632 --> 00:22:53,589
on today's show.
647
00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,722
Esther, thank
you for having me.
648
00:22:55,852 --> 00:22:58,594
As a parting gift, I made
you something pretty special.
649
00:22:58,725 --> 00:23:00,117
I'm very excited.
650
00:23:00,248 --> 00:23:02,859
These are homemade
flavored condoms.
651
00:23:02,990 --> 00:23:04,252
Ooh.
652
00:23:04,383 --> 00:23:05,819
So this one is lemon lime.
653
00:23:05,949 --> 00:23:07,081
Very nice.
654
00:23:07,211 --> 00:23:08,517
Yeah.
655
00:23:08,648 --> 00:23:09,431
It smells good.
656
00:23:09,562 --> 00:23:10,301
Yeah.
657
00:23:10,432 --> 00:23:11,259
It smells citrusy.
658
00:23:11,390 --> 00:23:12,739
Those are lemons and limes.
659
00:23:12,869 --> 00:23:14,393
Those are fresh from my garden.
660
00:23:14,523 --> 00:23:15,568
And then this flavor is tapioca.
661
00:23:18,919 --> 00:23:23,706
So see, so that will have a
good tapioca scent and taste.
662
00:23:23,837 --> 00:23:24,925
Hmm.
663
00:23:25,055 --> 00:23:25,795
Mmm.
664
00:23:25,926 --> 00:23:27,231
So enjoy.
665
00:23:27,362 --> 00:23:28,755
Do you think that
would burn my pussy?
666
00:23:28,885 --> 00:23:31,627
I-- yeah, I do, I do.
667
00:23:31,758 --> 00:23:32,802
I still like these gifts.
668
00:23:32,933 --> 00:23:33,673
Thank you.
669
00:23:33,803 --> 00:23:34,543
You're welcome.
45929
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