All language subtitles for Above.Average.Presents.S04E04.Hes.the.Actor.of.Our.Generation.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-FLUX_track3_[eng]

Were there any plot issues?

Likability?

Yes, lots of them.

Don't be mad at us.

I don't think that bringing
someone else in at this point

would be good for the idea.

No no, no, no.

We can do it.

We have a million ideas.

You got one week.

I don't understand why
we have to eat salad.

Because, John, if one of us
dies from eating unhealthy,

there's no script.

If there's no script,
there's no money.

Your rent has
been due for two weeks.

Well, we have jobs now.

So we'll pay you tomorrow, OK?

Where's your money?

We'll pay you tomorrow.

Here.

I'm coming
back tomorrow.

OK.

Let's get to work on some
of these studio notes.

OK.

Number one, make entire film
an allegory for the Iraq war.

- Oh, that's possible.
- Really?

- Yeah, totally cool.
- OK.

You got that one?
- Yeah.

Great.
Next on the list?

Make Bieber the lifeguard?

Uh-huh.

OK, well, goodbye
dreamy Andrew Garfield.

What's your Andrew
Garfield thing?

He's the actor
of our generation.

All right, OK.

And then give him
a love interest.

Have the Miley Cyrus
character falls in love

with the Bieber character.
- Right.

They kiss on the beach.
Kids love the--

- Kids love making out.
- beach kissing stuff.

That's great.

Love to kiss each
other on the lips.

That's great, actually.

What is next here?

Create an Usher shark and have
him give a concert on the beach

to promote his new single.

Oh, that's fun.
- Yeah.

Oh, hey.
- Yeah.

- Maybe we'll meet Usher.
- I don't think so.

They'll probably
have him in post.

Oh, this is ridiculous.

What?

It says change entire
film and trim 30 pages.

I won't do that.
You shouldn't do that.

Well, dude, I mean,
you have to do that.

What are you talking about?

That's like
getting-- that's like,

having long hair
and then somebody

stepping in and being
like, excuse me,

sir, you should have buzz cut.

Hey, hey, buddy.
Buddy.

Don't hit me.

You're getting hysterical, OK?

Lemme ask you something.

You want salad
dressing on that salad?

Yeah.

Well, we need money
to get salad dressing.

You might even get a shirt
that fits you like a grown up.

The only way to get money
is by fixing these notes.

I will pay you tomorrow, OK?

We are going to
smash your toilet

and then leave in the
middle of the night, OK?

I'm Jeff, Eric's son.

He sent me to help
finish your script.

Cool.

Great, yeah.

Wonderful.

Come-- come on in.

So you guys are going
to smash a toilet?

Oh, no.

That's actually sort
of, our process.

We kind of, yell
out the dialogue.

Oh, that's cool, that's cool.

Part of my process is playing
Origami fortune teller.

Familiar?
- Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

I find it freeing.

Go ahead.

Red.

Red.

Most people pick red.

Hey, you're going to marry
your fifth grade teacher.

Oh, that's gross.

My fifth grade teacher died.

She had a heart attack
while she was teaching

us about Grover Cleveland.

All right.

Well, the thing you're
missing is the explosions.

Sharks got to explode.

People have got to explode.

Boats have to explode.

Houses, hot girls, everything.

Also, you bring the shark in
too early in the beach scene.

That's mine, that's mine.

I don't know, man.

I think people like
to see teenagers

in bathing suits having fun.

And you got to have at
least one female scientist.

I mean, it's the
year after 2012.

How old are you?

I'm not sure.

I was there, but I wasn't,
like, there, you know?

How was Willie Nelson?

Oh, your son
didn't smoke drugs.

Oh.

He's good, right?

He does drugs, but he's good.

Is this the draft you
turned into the studio?

Yeah, that is it.

Yeah.

And keep in mind, you know, if
you want to change anything,

you feel free.

If anything.

You don't like the
paper it was printed on.

They loved it.

Lots of explosions.

Marcia's got a check for you.

Wow.

Oh, you've been
there the whole time.

That's crazy.

Yeah.

I wasn't aware of
your presence at all.

You're very good man.

This is pure gold.

You are a good man, sir.

We'll see you next week.

And your son only smoked weed.

Let's come on.

Just a little bit of weed.

Let's--

- You have to turn it.
- Turn it.

Yeah.

I didn't realize
it was two locks.

I got you-- ma'am.

Just the smallest bit of weed.

Privacy, that's what you want.

Yeah.

Hey, I had a dream
about you last night.

Oh really?

Well, it was you, but you
didn't quite look like you,

you know what I mean?

Like, those dreams.

Like, what were
the differences?

Well, you were--

you were, like, taller, I think,
and, like, had more muscles.

Really attractive
and have like--

you were, like, a man.

Like, you knew what
to do with yourself,

how to carry yourself, kind of,
like, how to talk in meetings.

You, kind of, like,
it didn't look

like you live with your mom.

You looked confident and
just smelled fresher.

Come to think of it, I don't
think it was you at all.

Daisy is one of
our oldest clients.

She's super tiny and
she loves wet kisses.

The only problem is she doesn't
poop when you want her to.

Her dog's name is Pickles.

You ring the doorbell.

You wait 5 seconds before
entering because, A, they might

be home from work, B, might
have a relative visiting,

or did I already say
having an affair?

Or C, having an affair.

You didn't.

Oh, it's A, they're
home from work.

Who the hell are you?

I'm John.

This is Steve.

Which one of you is Daisy?

No, none of them
are Daisy, John.

They're robbing the place.

Notice how they're
wearing all black

and taking the TV out the door.

Shut the hell up.

Boss, what do we do?

Take the TV outside.

Why are you taking a TV?

Yeah, I don't have a TV.

I just watch everything
on the internet.

Why are we taking a TV?

You should take the TV.

She doesn't watch it.

Psst, I'm here.

Take the TV outside.

Wait, why are
we taking the TV?

I just watch
everything on my phone.

I have a Roku.

OK, Grace, what's
with you and this TV?

Maybe Grace wants
the TV for herself.

Then you take the TV.

I'm looking for jewelry.

Wait, are you
guys cat burglars?

Yeah.

We're dog walkers.

I mean, it's--

Where is the dog?

We just need to walk it.

You guys can rob the place.

Take as many TVs as you want.

We should be taking zero TVs.

There he is.

Hey, buddy.
- Good boy.

All right, you
can take the dog.

I don't care.

Get, get.

All right, let's see how
many TVs are actually here.

Robbing's so outdated.

They should have just
stole her identity.

One time I got my credit
card information stolen.

This man went to a casino.

He won $80,000 and
he got to keep it.

He only had to give
me the $200 he stole.

Isn't that Ludacris?

Oh, yeah, I think it is.

OK, boys and girls.

Can everybody say online dating?

Online dating.

Online dating.

It's like a big swingset
where everyone wants

a push and no one is swinging.

And if someone does
give you a push,

it's never who you
want it to be, right?

It's always dead in the
eye Sam instead of what has

to be an advertisement John.

I've fallen for it.

It's just a generic photo.

They put it up, and it doesn't--

I'm not going to--

Anyhoo, what's
the hot goss, huh?

Who's dating who?

Mackenzie, Al, what's
happening here?

What's going on?
No?

No.

I notice you two are
sitting next to each other.

I don't even know
his middle name.

All right, I'm
not going to push.

But lucky for you, Miss
Jessie thought of some new

dating app jingles.

- Are you ready?
- Yes

Yes.

Here we go.

This is an app
where you go fast.

Chatting and profiles,
not time for that.

Looks, look, looks.

Wanting love can hinder.

This is a shallow
app called Tinder.

Tinder.

Good job.

Maxine, I saw your
dad on Tinder.

Very cute, but inappropriate.

So I swiped left.

My daddy is sad.

That is literally my type.

This is an app for
missed connections.

Spontaneous meet cute?

You'll need protection.

I know we crossed paths nine
times because this app Happn is

actually a tracking device, OK?

It's living inside your phone.

This is the NSA, CIA, FBI, OK?

This is stranger danger.

I would delete it,
but you never know.

Mama's got to eat, you know?

Mama's hungry.
Mommy hungry.

Huh?

Guys, which one
should be my main pic?

Neither.

You don't like either of them?

Um, I think that
the smile is the best.

Thank you.

I think so too.

I love it.

OK, who wants this one?

Let's see a show of hands.

Right, and who wants this one?

OK.

Well, majority rules.

This will be the one.

And if I do not find my
husband, I know who to blame.

I think--

Mackenzie.

that you should not
put it on your profile.

Wow, that's OK.

Forget it.

Forget I ever said anything, OK?

To life, to love, a dreidel?

Is .

Mazel.

Yes.

As you guys know,
Miss Jessie is Jewish.

And what did we
learn about Jews?

Marry whoever, but the kids--

Must be Jewish.

Well, the
classroom next door

knows what we're doing.

This one's filled with cocky
dudes you won't find humble.

Miss Jessie's afraid of
an app called Bumble.

Bumble.

Yes.

Like a bee.

And it stings like one too.

I'm waiting for them
to message me, OK?

I'm a prize to be won.

But--

Time flies when you're
talking about dating.

Am I wrong?

Many a night lost, OK?

And lucky for you, this
answers your favorite question.

Miss Jessie, why do
you look so tired?

Dating is exhausting.

Also, Maxine, I
really like your dad.

Six months ago, a virus
spread across the Earth turning

20% of humans into puppets.

My name's Matt, and
I'm one of them.

Every puppet faces
their own challenge.

Mine is high school.

Vocab.

El mucho means the tree.

La casa.

La casa.

That means cat.

OK, bueno, bueno.

For "manana," Chapter
4, memorize the words

for five musical instruments.

Uno dos, tres, cinco.

Five musical instruments.

All right, guys?

Hasta "nu-e-do".

Hey, Matt.

Can I borrow $5 for lunch?

Uh, don't you have
your own lunch money?

Yeah, but I want
the $10 burger.

Hola .

That means in Spanish.

Oh, hola, muchacha.

Can I put my burrito
in your taco?

Suck a D, Rip.

Your balls.

I'm fine.

He's fine.

I'm fine.

get out of here.

Get out.

Except you, freshman.

I'm going home.

Bye.

Oh, hi, Rip.

You going to the--

Out, Peters.

OK.

What does that say?

"Hang in there, baby."

OK, that's enough.

We've established
that you can read

because that sentence
seems congruent

with the image of the kitten.

Yeah, so?

Well, guess what?

I can't read.

So you are going to teach me.

Why me?

Because you are a
perfect combination

of someone smart, weak,
and easily exploitable.

Exploitable.

Wait, you're in 11th grade.

Why can't you read?

When I was little,
before the virus,

my dad, the best man
on Earth, abandoned me.

They've
always been big, right?

No.

Yeah,
she has tiny boobs.

She had big boobs yesterday
and now they're gone.

They didn't disappear yesterday.

They were always gone.

Boobs
can't disappear.

Later, kid.

The truth
is she has no boobs.

Why
would you say that?

So I had to raise
myself, freshman.

Try-- try to teach
yourself to read

when you don't read yourself.

That doesn't make any sense.

Teach me to read or I
will initiate a new program

called beat the shit
out of you every day.

It's a terrific
program where I beat

the shit out of you every day.

Toby, can you read?

I only read in pictures.

It's your call, freshman.

Beatings or readings.

Um, I guess I'll do it,
but I don't think that--

Oh, captain, my captain,
let's hit that shit.

B.

Q.

Together.

We're working together
to achieve a goal.

Working together.

Hotdog.

You can do it
if you put your mind to it.

Cooperation.

Time machine.

Cat board.

Working
and cooperating.

Working together is the key.

Buttered popcorn?

Cooperation Is
the key to sky's the limit.

For your goals.

So reach for the sky.

This is hard.

My cat is in the box.

I did it.

I can read.

Huh?

I achieved a goal.

You should feel good, Rip.

Just think of all
the great adventures

awaiting you in books.

Shut up.

I just wanted to learn
so I could read this.

It's a letter from my dad.

Finally, an explanation
and apology.

The answers I've been
waiting for my whole life.

"Dear son, you suck.

Love, dad."

I should probably
get home for dinner.

Why'd you teach me
how to read, freshman?

Hey, guys.

What's up?

I'm Matteo Lane.

We are here with pop up stand
up Please, no more applause.

I can't barely date me.

We are at bar
Mile 17 having a great time,

staring at everybody running
for the New York City Marathon.

Please give it up for
Giulia Rozzi, everybody.

What a dream come true.

There's nothing like doing
comedy at 11:00 AM for people

who weren't expecting comedy.

Thank you all so much for
stopping here on your way

to watch people exercise.

I've been actually
jogging a lot lately

to my drug dealer's house.

I jog there and then
I do a bunch of drugs

and then I run home
even faster because I

think I'm being chased.

So that has been
working very well.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, my God.

More encouragement than I've
ever gotten from my parents.

Thank you so much.

Sometimes late at night when I'm
stoned, I will go to the deli

to get some ice cream.

And whenever I do, I always
make sure to also buy condoms

so that nobody thinks
that I'm lonely

and so I can have sex
with my ice cream.

So that is--

I just like to feel
something cold in my body.

You guys are young.

I also want to be safe because
I am lactose intolerant.

So the condoms--

All right, thank
you guys so much.

Bye.

OK.

This better be funny.

Hey, welcome to Groundr.

What can I get you?

Just a medium
americano black, please.

Sure thing.

Coming right up.

Might you also be interested
in a scone or natural soda?

No, no.
That's OK.

Cool.

Hey, do you have a
Groundr loyalty card?

10 stamps and you get a free
drink under $4 before 12:00 PM.

Uh, no.

No, thanks.

Or bakery item.

Uh, no, I don't have the card.

Oh, OK.

Well, sweet.

Would you be interested
in our email newsletter

full of discounts and
deals as well as fun

news items about our baristas?

Uh, you know
what, that's fine.

I'm not actually
from around here.

Two of them are Suicide Girls.

That doesn't change--

OK.

Yeah.

Well do you visit often?

You might be interested
in our premium membership.

You get points on every
purchase and free shipping

on bags of our House blend.

Uh, I'm actually good.

Has anyone started making
the coffee, or is it--

Well, if you were
a premium member,

you would get top order
priority as well as a free

Groundr t-shirt on signing.

I really just
want my americano.

It's a really fun shirt.

How is this shirt fun?

Well, it's just got,
like, a cool drawing on it

from a local artist.

OK.

But a premium membership
is only $20 a month.

Are you a medium for the shirt?

Listen, I don't--

I have not even had
your coffee yet.

How do I know I want to
pay more to get it quicker

and wear a shirt
that advertises you?

- It's plus free shipping--
- No.

so that's not
the only thing.

I do not want that.
Thank you.

OK.
Well, almost done.

Before we proceed to checkout,
do you have any coupons?

What do you think my answer
is going to be right now?

I don't know.

That's why I asked if you
do you have any coupons.

No, I don't.

OK, and do you want your
americano gift wrapped?

And also, would you be
interested in a free single

from Lenny Kravitz?
It's new.

It's free on iTunes.

I don't want the
single, and why would I

want a coffee gift wrapped?

Maybe you're buying it
for a friend or a loved one

and who might also
like Lenny Kravitz.

Can I just get my coffee?

No Lenny Kravitz.

Of course, sir.

Do you want that now, or in
three to five business days?

Now.
Obviously, now.

Are you talking about the
coffee or the Lenny Kravitz?

Just the coffee.

Forget about the
Lenny Kravitz, please.

All righty.

That'll be $40, please.

$40?

Mm-hmm.

$2.50 for the coffee,
$5 for the packaging,

$20 to be enrolled
in Groundr premium

to get instant
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purchases and $6.50 in tax.

No.

I don't want the
premium service.

Cut that.
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Not a problem.

That'll be $7.50, plus
$93.75 in handling

and administration
fees and also $0.99

for the Lenny Kravitz single.

I don't want Lenny--

Listen, no thanks.

Just cancel the whole thing.

I don't want any of it.
- All right.

Well, it's already
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Here's what we can do.

Once you receive your
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There will also be a slight
restocking fee of $75.

And is that debit or credit?
- Neither.

Goodbye.

But you can actually keep
the Lenny Kravitz, though.

I don't want
the Lenny Kravitz.

Goodbye.

Wait, wait, wait.

Do you want to download
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No.

No tip?

Timber!

ton.

Can I have cookie?

It's curtains for us.

Curtains for us.

We the illest.

What?
We the illest.

What?

Everybody grab your drinks.

She's here.

Who?

My ex.

Oh, no.

Go on, man.
You got this.

Be strong.

Whatever you do, don't
let her make you feel small.

I think I'll be OK.

As long as you guys are here--

Come on.
- Hi.

- Hey.
- How are you?

I'm good.

I haven't seen you since--

We broke up after graduation.

Actually, you broke up with me.

Oh, my God.

Did I?

I totally forgot about that.

What have you been up to?

I live in New York.

New York.

Oh, I am there every
two weeks for work.

I have a work
pied-a-terre in Soho.

Where do you live in the city?

Brooklyn.

Oh, you must save
a lot of money.

Not really.

OK.

Have you met my husband?

Hey, bud.

Oh.

He's like an Aryan Superman.

I know, right?

Oh, it does not look
like it's going well.

He'll be OK as
long as he avoids

talking about his podcast.

You'll never truly understand
the Titanic until your face

to face with it in a
billion-dollar submersible that

you co-own with Mr. Cameron.

Wow, you're so cool.

He barely gets
to see our baby.

He's actually a
baby supermodel.

Mm-hmm.

He's doing a Calvin
Klein campaign in Milan.

Yeah, he just
hopped a PJ to Milan.

So what do you do, Nanza?

I have a podcast.

How fun.

I'm thinking about
starting a podcast.

Right now, it's more of an idea.

I'm really a Jack of
all trades, you know?

I clean the espresso machine,
I work on the cash register.

Really whatever the coffee
shop really needs me to do,

I'm there.

Where did he go?

Do you want to go
have sex in the Tesla?

OK.

Hey, there, there, buddy.

We're going home.

I think that went well.

I'm so glad we
never have to see

these people again, except
for every day on Facebook.

Off the hook,
but the phone never rang.

Beast On the beats.

No claws, no fangs.

Imma do my thing.