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1
00:00:05,527 --> 00:00:06,876
Oh, Matt Bomer.
Hey, how are you doing?
2
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,051
Hey, what's up, man?
3
00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:09,139
Hey, Rob King,
your biggest fan.
4
00:00:09,270 --> 00:00:10,706
Oh, hey, Rob.
5
00:00:10,836 --> 00:00:11,837
I-- I just watched the
pilot for "The Last Tycoon"
6
00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:12,751
and it's--
7
00:00:12,882 --> 00:00:14,536
Oh, oh, cool.
8
00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:16,494
Old Hollywood, old Hollywood,
it's gl-- it's fan-- glamorous.
9
00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:17,843
Good.
Thanks, man.
10
00:00:17,974 --> 00:00:18,888
- Yeah.
- It's good to meet you.
11
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,063
Wait!
Actually, hey, wait.
12
00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:21,934
While you're here,
um, and you're--
13
00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:25,155
gosh, uh, can I ask
you some questions?
14
00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:26,156
Sure, yeah.
15
00:00:26,287 --> 00:00:27,766
I-- yeah.
- Yeah, cool.
16
00:00:27,897 --> 00:00:29,029
OK, cool.
17
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:30,639
Uh, your new show,
"The Last Tycoon,"
18
00:00:30,769 --> 00:00:33,076
is based on an unfinished
F. Scott Fitzgerald novel.
19
00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:35,339
To be a tycoon of something,
do you have to have
20
00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:37,298
a jawline that can cut glass?
21
00:00:37,428 --> 00:00:39,474
You tell me?
22
00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:40,866
I mean, you've got--
23
00:00:40,997 --> 00:00:42,433
got a pretty strong
jawline yourself, man.
24
00:00:42,564 --> 00:00:44,696
It's only accentuated by
that beautiful facial hair
25
00:00:44,827 --> 00:00:46,176
you got going on, so--
26
00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:47,351
I'm so nervous.
27
00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:49,092
Why?
Don't be nervous.
28
00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:50,615
No, I mean--
29
00:00:50,746 --> 00:00:52,574
Your skin is, like, man,
you have beautiful skin.
30
00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:54,054
Oh, god.
31
00:00:54,184 --> 00:00:55,968
Do you want to do like
a face-off situation?
32
00:00:57,666 --> 00:00:58,710
That's awkward, I should--
but if you do, it's--
33
00:00:58,841 --> 00:01:00,799
It's not awkward at all.
34
00:01:00,930 --> 00:01:02,149
We'll talk about it.
We'll talk about it.
35
00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:03,106
Oh, yeah.
36
00:01:03,237 --> 00:01:04,760
Let's-- let's keep going.
37
00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:06,022
You did the "Magic Mike" movies.
38
00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:06,936
Yeah.
39
00:01:08,459 --> 00:01:09,721
I use-- I used to be
a stripper like you.
40
00:01:09,852 --> 00:01:11,332
- Really?
- Yeah.
41
00:01:11,462 --> 00:01:12,333
I kind of-- I just--
42
00:01:12,463 --> 00:01:13,812
I lost my confidence.
43
00:01:13,943 --> 00:01:15,423
That's terrible.
44
00:01:15,553 --> 00:01:17,729
Is there something that
you say to yourself to, like,
45
00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:19,079
help you be confident?
Do you just--
46
00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:19,992
Like a mantra?
47
00:01:20,123 --> 00:01:20,863
Yeah, yeah.
48
00:01:20,993 --> 00:01:21,951
Do you have a-- yeah.
49
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:22,952
Yeah.
50
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:24,301
Am a beacon of light.
51
00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:25,650
Yes, you are.
52
00:01:25,781 --> 00:01:28,262
Here to bring nuggets
of joy, knowledge,
53
00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:31,482
and inspiration to every
human being I encounter.
54
00:01:31,613 --> 00:01:32,614
Mm.
- Mm.
55
00:01:32,744 --> 00:01:33,963
Let it sink in.
56
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:36,661
Um,
57
00:01:36,792 --> 00:01:40,404
how much of success is
being genetically perfect?
58
00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:41,449
I-- I wouldn't know.
59
00:01:41,579 --> 00:01:43,712
Do you not own yours?
60
00:01:43,842 --> 00:01:46,149
I see you as perfect.
61
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:48,717
Wow.
62
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:51,241
Here, let me get this for you.
63
00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:52,416
It's in the right order.
64
00:01:56,246 --> 00:01:58,814
Did we just have a meet-cute?
65
00:01:58,944 --> 00:01:59,945
I think we did.
66
00:02:00,076 --> 00:02:00,859
I should go.
67
00:02:00,990 --> 00:02:05,255
Yeah, I should too.
68
00:02:05,386 --> 00:02:08,128
We'll always have
the water cooler.
69
00:02:08,258 --> 00:02:09,129
And our mantra.
70
00:02:13,002 --> 00:02:14,177
I'm a beacon of light.
71
00:02:23,491 --> 00:02:25,841
It all starts
with our philosophy.
72
00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:30,106
We are 100% focused
on quality and flavor.
73
00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:32,326
And that means that we're never
going to make as much beer
74
00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:33,370
as the big guys.
75
00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:35,372
We believe smaller is better.
76
00:02:35,503 --> 00:02:37,287
And that's why I
started my nanobrewery.
77
00:02:44,555 --> 00:02:48,472
Microbrewers can focus on
making each bottle taste good,
78
00:02:48,603 --> 00:02:52,041
but we can focus on making
each sip taste great.
79
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:56,132
Because that's all you
need, is just one sip.
80
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:57,960
So, uh, come with me
right this way and I
81
00:02:58,090 --> 00:02:59,831
will give you a tour
of the facilities.
82
00:03:06,577 --> 00:03:08,231
So this is where it all happens.
83
00:03:08,362 --> 00:03:10,886
This is a thimble of
barley, this is half a hops.
84
00:03:11,016 --> 00:03:12,888
The big tanks just
came with the building.
85
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:14,672
We just use them for water.
86
00:03:14,803 --> 00:03:16,152
I drink it.
87
00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:18,241
We also have a truck
for distribution
88
00:03:18,372 --> 00:03:21,201
to over a dozen local bars.
89
00:03:21,331 --> 00:03:23,115
In our tap room,
most of our customers
90
00:03:23,246 --> 00:03:24,856
order a flight so
they can sample
91
00:03:24,987 --> 00:03:26,597
all of our unique flavors.
92
00:03:26,728 --> 00:03:29,644
This is a pine cone pilsner.
93
00:03:29,774 --> 00:03:32,516
This one is bourbon coffee
Belgian chocolate oatmeal
94
00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:33,822
stout.
95
00:03:33,952 --> 00:03:35,693
And this one is
Brewer's choice, which
96
00:03:35,824 --> 00:03:41,351
is just a beer that tastes
bad, but it's my favorite.
97
00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:43,005
It's possible to get
another one, is it?
98
00:03:43,135 --> 00:03:45,660
Yeah, uh, that's
going to be another $7.
99
00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:48,402
And we find that everything
is better when it's smaller,
100
00:03:48,532 --> 00:03:52,884
so we pair our beers with
handcrafted micro pizzas
101
00:03:53,015 --> 00:03:57,411
and little chicken wings
from the littlest chickens.
102
00:03:57,541 --> 00:03:59,630
We actually only use
one million yeast.
103
00:04:02,372 --> 00:04:04,069
That one's just
for the brew heads.
104
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:06,855
Will nanobreweries ever be
as big as microbreweries?
105
00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:08,639
No.
106
00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:10,946
And, uh, that's
exactly how I want it.
107
00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:28,964
So, yeah, you know, uh, cloth
diapers are making a comeback.
108
00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:30,531
No way!
109
00:04:30,661 --> 00:04:31,749
Yeah, I mean, I'm just
a step-dad, but, you know,
110
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:33,098
it's interesting--
111
00:04:33,229 --> 00:04:33,925
all the stuff they
have to think about.
112
00:04:34,056 --> 00:04:35,579
Greetings, my friend.
113
00:04:35,710 --> 00:04:37,668
Hey, welcome to the Sidecar,
where dreams go to die.
114
00:04:37,799 --> 00:04:38,713
What can I get for you?
115
00:04:38,843 --> 00:04:40,323
Aw, the glass of Chardonnay.
116
00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:41,803
Weird.
117
00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:43,152
What is your deal?
118
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,719
They call me Slapback.
119
00:04:44,849 --> 00:04:46,329
Did you make your
costume yourself?
120
00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:48,288
No, I had the same people
who worked on the "Matrix"
121
00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:49,898
make this.
- No way, really?
122
00:04:50,028 --> 00:04:51,726
Oh, dick!
123
00:04:51,856 --> 00:04:53,815
Aw, I'm getting my hair done.
124
00:04:53,945 --> 00:04:55,338
What's your power?
125
00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:57,906
Well, I can make you see
any moment in your life
126
00:04:58,036 --> 00:04:59,995
past, present, or future.
127
00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:01,431
That's amazing.
128
00:05:01,562 --> 00:05:03,041
By slapping you in the face.
129
00:05:03,172 --> 00:05:04,782
That's awesome.
130
00:05:04,913 --> 00:05:06,306
Slap me back to my
proudest moment.
131
00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:11,963
Will I ever be a hero?
132
00:05:12,094 --> 00:05:13,878
Yeah, you already are, son.
133
00:05:14,009 --> 00:05:16,098
You-- you want to go
practice flying or something?
134
00:05:16,228 --> 00:05:17,534
Oh, my god!
135
00:05:17,665 --> 00:05:18,579
Go play with your
dolls or something
136
00:05:18,709 --> 00:05:19,449
and leave me alone!
137
00:05:19,580 --> 00:05:20,450
I got shit to do!
138
00:05:20,581 --> 00:05:21,364
Boom!
139
00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:23,453
You just got slapbacked!
140
00:05:23,584 --> 00:05:25,150
You want to see your
proudest moment?
141
00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:35,987
Wow!
142
00:05:36,118 --> 00:05:37,554
You just got slapbacked.
143
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:40,165
He didn't
know who threw the peanut.
144
00:05:40,296 --> 00:05:42,080
You're a big, fat zero.
145
00:05:42,211 --> 00:05:46,128
Ooh, my turn, please?
146
00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:58,009
Looks like I can finally
start having protected sex.
147
00:05:58,140 --> 00:05:59,228
you.
148
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,925
You just got slapbacked.
149
00:06:01,056 --> 00:06:04,494
Did everybody get to see
that, or was that just for me?
150
00:06:04,625 --> 00:06:06,278
Sorry if it was weird.
151
00:06:06,409 --> 00:06:07,671
If you didn't see
it, it was weird.
152
00:06:12,328 --> 00:06:14,678
I got to take this.
153
00:06:14,809 --> 00:06:17,333
Hi, yeah, it's Blujay, yes.
154
00:06:17,464 --> 00:06:18,856
Yeah, I called about
the hero position, yes.
155
00:06:18,987 --> 00:06:20,118
Oh, help me.
156
00:06:20,249 --> 00:06:22,556
I need a hero so bad.
157
00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:25,689
It's Brick,
you idiot.
158
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:28,431
Oh.
159
00:06:28,562 --> 00:06:31,173
Well, I have only
myself to blame.
160
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:33,741
Hi, I'm Amanda.
161
00:06:33,871 --> 00:06:35,177
And I'm Lauren.
162
00:06:35,307 --> 00:06:36,787
And this is the commentary
track for meeting
163
00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:39,224
your friend's new boyfriend.
164
00:06:39,355 --> 00:06:40,748
Sweetie, this is Lauren.
165
00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:41,792
Hey, I'm Tyler.
166
00:06:41,923 --> 00:06:43,141
It's good to finally meet you.
167
00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:44,186
OK, first reaction,
168
00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:45,187
I want to bang your boyfriend.
169
00:06:45,317 --> 00:06:46,406
Thank you.
170
00:06:46,536 --> 00:06:47,450
When he came in,
171
00:06:47,581 --> 00:06:48,103
I was like, who's this model?
172
00:06:48,233 --> 00:06:49,017
Oh, my god!
173
00:06:49,147 --> 00:06:50,410
Why is he touching you?
174
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:52,020
So Amanda tells me
that you're a bartender?
175
00:06:52,150 --> 00:06:54,065
Libation mixologist.
176
00:06:54,196 --> 00:06:55,415
Which means bartender.
177
00:06:55,545 --> 00:06:56,981
Yep.
178
00:06:57,112 --> 00:06:58,069
I don't even pour cocktails
just like Miller Lites.
179
00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:58,983
So what do you do?
180
00:06:59,114 --> 00:07:00,332
Oh, I'm a doctor.
181
00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:02,378
Oh, tell her what kind.
182
00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,336
I'm a baby animal
veterinarian.
183
00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:06,469
That's so cool, right?
184
00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,776
OK, made-up job,
made-up boyfriend.
185
00:07:08,906 --> 00:07:10,386
Very funny.
- What?
186
00:07:10,517 --> 00:07:11,735
We're dating.
187
00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:12,954
What was your deal?
188
00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:13,998
Just that he's
189
00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:14,869
way too hot and cool for you.
190
00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:15,652
I should be dating him.
191
00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:16,958
It's not fair.
192
00:07:17,088 --> 00:07:18,002
Hang on, hang on.
193
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:20,657
First denial, then anger, watch.
194
00:07:20,788 --> 00:07:22,267
This party sucks.
195
00:07:22,398 --> 00:07:23,617
Dude, you are going
196
00:07:23,747 --> 00:07:25,445
through the five stages
of grief because I'm
197
00:07:25,575 --> 00:07:26,533
dating an awesome guy.
198
00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:27,751
Was not.
199
00:07:27,882 --> 00:07:29,405
Yes, you were.
200
00:07:29,536 --> 00:07:32,539
Have you ever thought about
dating two women at once?
201
00:07:32,669 --> 00:07:34,715
Because we have kissed,
so it wouldn't be weird.
202
00:07:34,845 --> 00:07:35,672
Lauren?
203
00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:36,978
Just joking.
204
00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:38,196
She's always like blah.
205
00:07:38,327 --> 00:07:39,415
Classic stage
206
00:07:39,546 --> 00:07:40,590
three bargaining right there.
207
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,287
I just wish we
208
00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:43,637
could have taken him to Paris.
What?
209
00:07:43,767 --> 00:07:44,768
You know, the two of us
210
00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:46,553
could show him the Eiffel Tower.
211
00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:48,206
Ew, dude?
No!
212
00:07:48,337 --> 00:07:49,599
That's for guys.
213
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:51,079
No,
that's for everyone.
214
00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:52,820
I don't know why we even
dated anyone anyway.
215
00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:53,864
What's the point, you know?
216
00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:55,692
You just get old.
217
00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:57,128
And then you die alone.
218
00:07:57,259 --> 00:08:01,045
It's just like
ashes, dirt, nothing.
219
00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:02,612
Ugh, gross, depression.
220
00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:03,961
Stage four.
Get it together.
221
00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:05,528
Depression is gross.
222
00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:08,313
Hey, I have a friend I
want you to meet, all right?
223
00:08:08,444 --> 00:08:09,445
I'll, uh, be right back.
224
00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:10,664
OK.
225
00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:11,534
And, finally,
226
00:08:11,665 --> 00:08:12,927
stage five, acceptance.
227
00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:14,885
So what do you think of him?
228
00:08:15,016 --> 00:08:16,147
Meh.
229
00:08:16,278 --> 00:08:17,932
All I've ever
230
00:08:18,062 --> 00:08:19,499
wanted is for someone to want
to have sex with my boyfriend.
231
00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:20,587
Yeah,
because I've never wanted
232
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:21,675
to anyone you've dated.
233
00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:23,067
Me neither.
234
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:28,333
Kiss me, I'm drunk.
235
00:08:28,464 --> 00:08:32,381
Kiss me, I'm--
kiss me, I'm drunk.
236
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:38,169
Malcolm Gladwell.
237
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:40,650
It's crazy how I keep
running into him.
238
00:08:40,781 --> 00:08:42,870
I imagine he'd be thrilled
to have a quick hang
239
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,306
with a fellow thinking man.
240
00:08:44,436 --> 00:08:45,873
Is this seat taken?
241
00:08:46,003 --> 00:08:48,745
Go ahead.
242
00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:50,573
Ha, Gotcha.
243
00:08:50,704 --> 00:08:51,792
MALCOLM GLADWELL
Oh, no,
244
00:08:51,922 --> 00:08:53,358
It's me, Dave.
245
00:08:53,489 --> 00:08:54,795
Dave Hill.
246
00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:57,885
But I said is this seat
taken in a creepy voice
247
00:08:58,015 --> 00:08:59,887
so you'd think I was
some sort of weirdo.
248
00:09:00,017 --> 00:09:00,975
Hi, Dave.
249
00:09:01,105 --> 00:09:02,629
MALCOLM GLADWELL
You
250
00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:04,239
don't need to do a creepy
voice for me to think that.
251
00:09:04,369 --> 00:09:06,023
What are
you working on?
252
00:09:06,154 --> 00:09:08,983
Oh, just some a little
thing for the "New Yorker."
253
00:09:09,113 --> 00:09:10,724
"New Yorker," that's cool.
254
00:09:10,854 --> 00:09:12,726
I've actually written a lot
of pieces for the "New Yorker"
255
00:09:12,856 --> 00:09:13,596
over the years.
256
00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:15,119
Oh, you have?
257
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:17,078
Yeah, I mean, they
haven't printed any of them.
258
00:09:17,208 --> 00:09:20,168
I think they're too ahead of
their time, controversial.
259
00:09:20,298 --> 00:09:21,038
You get it.
260
00:09:21,169 --> 00:09:22,431
Yeah.
261
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,650
I'm guessing really
ahead of your time.
262
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:24,955
MALCOLM GLADWELL
Dear God,
263
00:09:25,086 --> 00:09:26,391
please, let an ice
cream truck drive by
264
00:09:26,522 --> 00:09:28,089
or something so
he'll leave me alone?
265
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:30,265
Wh-- what's the piece
you're working on now?
266
00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:33,573
Oh, it's, um, uh,
something on Freudian theory
267
00:09:33,703 --> 00:09:35,575
and the farm-to-table movement.
268
00:09:35,705 --> 00:09:36,880
Just, uh, like a column.
269
00:09:37,011 --> 00:09:38,665
Wow, I have
270
00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:43,583
absolutely no idea what he just
said, but it sounded awesome.
271
00:09:43,713 --> 00:09:45,236
That is so weird.
272
00:09:45,367 --> 00:09:47,021
Weird, yeah, to a moron.
273
00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:48,413
Oh, why's that weird?
274
00:09:48,544 --> 00:09:51,373
Because I literally
just wrote a big piece
275
00:09:51,503 --> 00:09:53,941
on that exact same subject
that you just said.
276
00:09:54,071 --> 00:09:54,855
Yeah.
277
00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:56,465
What did you conclude?
278
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,640
This ought to be good.
279
00:09:57,771 --> 00:09:59,424
Just that basically
the parallels
280
00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:03,733
between the two things you
are saying are nuts basically.
281
00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:05,169
Nuts, how are they nuts?
282
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:09,521
Uh, eh, I don't want
to tell you my findings
283
00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:10,827
because I don't
want to influence
284
00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:12,612
what you're trying to do there.
285
00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:13,656
MALCOLM GLADWELL
Oh, right.
286
00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:14,831
Like that's ever
going to happen.
287
00:10:14,962 --> 00:10:16,050
I'm-- I'm all ears
over here, Dave.
288
00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:16,833
Goddamn it!
289
00:10:16,964 --> 00:10:18,139
Gladwell, let it go.
290
00:10:18,269 --> 00:10:20,707
OK.
291
00:10:20,837 --> 00:10:22,447
If you really want
me to elaborate.
292
00:10:22,578 --> 00:10:23,666
Uh--
293
00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:24,667
MALCOLM GLADWELL
I can't
294
00:10:24,798 --> 00:10:25,712
believe he's still talking.
295
00:10:25,842 --> 00:10:28,192
So what was the first thing?
296
00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:31,326
Ice cream!
297
00:10:31,456 --> 00:10:34,372
Thank you god of ice creams.
298
00:10:37,985 --> 00:10:38,768
Victoria!
299
00:10:38,899 --> 00:10:39,682
Come quick!
300
00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:40,640
What is wrong?
301
00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:42,076
It's Paige.
302
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:44,339
Her boyfriend, he
cheated, and her employer
303
00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:45,862
review is in half an hour.
304
00:10:45,993 --> 00:10:47,342
An office scandal?
305
00:10:47,472 --> 00:10:48,256
Does that mean--
306
00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:49,257
Yes!
307
00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:50,084
We need your Olivia Pope.
308
00:10:51,433 --> 00:10:52,826
It's time to put
on my white hat.
309
00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:56,960
Lilly let's do a
Shonda walk-and-talk.
310
00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:58,048
I need two compresses.
311
00:10:58,179 --> 00:10:59,833
One hot, one cold.
312
00:10:59,963 --> 00:11:02,183
A box of tissues, a bag of gummy
worms from Paige's desk drawer.
313
00:11:02,313 --> 00:11:04,098
Sparkling water, eye
drops, concealer.
314
00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:07,101
And Lilly, order a
pizza, I'm starving.
315
00:11:07,231 --> 00:11:09,843
He--
316
00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:14,891
he-- he cheated
on me by sexting.
317
00:11:16,632 --> 00:11:18,242
Where did you get this text?
318
00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:22,072
I took a screengrab of his
phone and texted it to myself.
319
00:11:22,203 --> 00:11:23,117
Delete this.
320
00:11:23,247 --> 00:11:24,118
But--
321
00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:25,902
Paige, Mark is a cheater.
322
00:11:26,033 --> 00:11:27,512
The sooner you accept that the
better off you're going to be.
323
00:11:27,643 --> 00:11:29,993
You are a hot,
smart, strong woman.
324
00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:32,604
And Mark is an infected skin
tag that we are going to remove
325
00:11:32,735 --> 00:11:33,954
from your beautiful body.
326
00:11:34,084 --> 00:11:35,695
I am a social dermatologist.
327
00:11:35,825 --> 00:11:37,392
I will fix this.
328
00:11:37,522 --> 00:11:40,482
Delete the text.
329
00:11:40,612 --> 00:11:41,657
Deleting it.
330
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:43,354
Lilly, how far away is JD?
331
00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:44,529
She'll be here any minute.
332
00:11:44,660 --> 00:11:45,922
You're going to
need to stall her.
333
00:11:46,053 --> 00:11:47,402
Call her, pretend you're
her daughter's school,
334
00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:48,838
say Serena needs to talk to her.
335
00:11:48,969 --> 00:11:50,448
Heather, alternate
those compresses.
336
00:11:50,579 --> 00:11:51,972
And feed Paige these gummies.
337
00:11:52,102 --> 00:11:53,408
Paige, hydrate.
338
00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:55,540
Dan, I need you to get
on Paige's social needs
339
00:11:55,671 --> 00:11:57,107
and delete all evidence of Mark.
340
00:11:57,238 --> 00:11:58,369
What social needs?
341
00:11:58,500 --> 00:11:59,457
Social media.
342
00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:00,981
OK, cool.
343
00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:02,678
Do you want me to start
with Twitter or Instagram?
344
00:12:02,809 --> 00:12:03,592
It's going to take a while.
345
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,899
Paige, are you on Ello?
346
00:12:06,029 --> 00:12:08,945
You're a crappy huck!
347
00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:10,251
What is huck?
348
00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:15,647
Hello?
349
00:12:15,778 --> 00:12:17,824
Hi, Mrs. LeGrand?
350
00:12:17,954 --> 00:12:19,434
This is, uh, Carol--
351
00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:22,611
Carol Counter, from
your daughter's school.
352
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,221
Carol Counter from
your daughter's school?
353
00:12:24,352 --> 00:12:25,832
- Is everything OK?
- No.
354
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:26,746
No, I'm afraid not.
355
00:12:26,876 --> 00:12:27,659
Not-- no.
356
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:28,748
Um, Serena is missing.
357
00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:30,097
What?
358
00:12:30,227 --> 00:12:32,752
I mean, she's missing you.
359
00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:34,144
She wants to sing you a song.
360
00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:35,406
Please hold.
- Hold?
361
00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:38,366
Oh, this is ridiculous.
362
00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:42,022
OK.
363
00:12:42,152 --> 00:12:43,197
Just look up, look up.
364
00:12:43,327 --> 00:12:45,765
Uh-oh, um, Mark
the ex is calling?
365
00:12:45,895 --> 00:12:47,505
Well, I
don't know what to do.
366
00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:49,681
I don't want to talk to him.
367
00:12:49,812 --> 00:12:52,162
Mark, you probably thought
you were talking to Paige.
368
00:12:52,293 --> 00:12:54,208
Well, guess what, you
don't get to talk to Paige.
369
00:12:54,338 --> 00:12:56,471
Because Paige is a
privilege that you earn.
370
00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:58,516
She is a diploma
from an Ivy League.
371
00:12:58,647 --> 00:13:00,823
She is the A-list level
in Kim Kardashian--
372
00:13:00,954 --> 00:13:01,693
Hollywood!
373
00:13:06,263 --> 00:13:08,439
Serena, baby, it's mommy!
374
00:13:08,570 --> 00:13:10,441
Listen, are you feeling OK?
375
00:13:10,572 --> 00:13:12,269
I'm going to be there after
3 o'clock to pick you up,
376
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:13,314
all right?
377
00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:17,231
Yes, mommy.
378
00:13:17,361 --> 00:13:18,232
Who is this?
379
00:13:18,362 --> 00:13:19,494
I know my daughter's voice.
380
00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:20,974
This isn't Serena!
381
00:13:21,975 --> 00:13:22,758
Oh, it's ridiculous!
382
00:13:25,195 --> 00:13:26,109
It's handled.
383
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:27,154
I couldn't stall any longer.
384
00:13:27,284 --> 00:13:28,068
She's coming up.
385
00:13:28,198 --> 00:13:29,460
OK, um--
386
00:13:39,775 --> 00:13:41,951
Well, aren't we
looking relaxed.
387
00:13:42,082 --> 00:13:43,823
Paige, are you ready
for your review?
388
00:13:43,953 --> 00:13:44,824
Yes, I am.
389
00:13:56,661 --> 00:13:58,011
The feelz.
390
00:13:58,141 --> 00:14:00,317
They're real, they're
intense, and this kitten
391
00:14:00,448 --> 00:14:01,188
will give you that.
392
00:14:03,146 --> 00:14:05,670
But did you know that the feelz
are part of a complex process
393
00:14:05,801 --> 00:14:07,411
in your brain?
394
00:14:07,542 --> 00:14:13,200
Today, on Big Thick Ideas, meet
the limbic system, a series
395
00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,724
of cortical structures near
the cerebral hemispheres
396
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:18,074
and a key reservoir of feelz.
397
00:14:18,205 --> 00:14:20,947
Seeing something nostalgic or
cute, like a baby otter video,
398
00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:22,426
sends neural
signals that trigger
399
00:14:22,557 --> 00:14:24,472
this system to release squee.
400
00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:26,735
Squee are units of feelz.
401
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,259
These squee travel
through neural pathways
402
00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:30,870
to feelz receptors.
403
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,350
The size of your receptors
determines whether you
404
00:14:33,481 --> 00:14:36,266
feel all the feelz,
or merely experience
405
00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:37,964
a quick hit right in the feelz.
406
00:14:38,094 --> 00:14:41,271
An especially powerful trigger
can create excess feelz.
407
00:14:41,402 --> 00:14:44,666
This surplus of feelz is a
condition called ermahgerd.
408
00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:47,277
Someone with this
condition can't even.
409
00:14:47,408 --> 00:14:49,236
Can feelz to be dangerous?
410
00:14:49,366 --> 00:14:50,890
Sometimes, dude.
411
00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:53,588
Usually, feelz activate the
anterior cingulate cortex
412
00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:55,851
to release proteins
called "smiling cat
413
00:14:55,982 --> 00:14:57,592
face with heart-shaped eyes."
414
00:14:57,722 --> 00:15:01,683
But sometimes these proteins
derp, which can make you vom.
415
00:15:01,813 --> 00:15:04,338
Or, in the worst cases,
remove all the
416
00:15:04,468 --> 00:15:06,079
you have to give.
417
00:15:06,209 --> 00:15:09,343
This activity all takes place
in the medulla-Ob-Lame-Gata,
418
00:15:09,473 --> 00:15:11,693
the region of the brain
that makes you reuse other
419
00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:14,130
people's jokes and
catchphrases months
420
00:15:14,261 --> 00:15:15,958
after they stop being cool.
421
00:15:16,089 --> 00:15:17,525
Now that the feelz
are understood,
422
00:15:17,655 --> 00:15:19,962
scientists use them in a
variety of applications.
423
00:15:20,093 --> 00:15:23,226
From an antidepressant
for people with too much--
424
00:15:23,357 --> 00:15:26,229
to an ED stimulant for
those with too little--
425
00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,101
And now you understand them too.
426
00:15:28,231 --> 00:15:31,017
So just remember, the next
time you're bae internets
427
00:15:31,147 --> 00:15:34,977
you use seriously glompable
GIF, you can't stop the feelz.
428
00:15:35,108 --> 00:15:38,546
And this is because science.
429
00:15:38,676 --> 00:15:41,157
Next time on Big Thick Ideas.
430
00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:43,899
Albums, songs, mp3s.
431
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:48,251
Nobody needs to pay
for them, but why?
432
00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:52,995
OK.
433
00:15:53,126 --> 00:15:54,518
It says to enter the cheat code
right after the credits screen,
434
00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:55,345
ready?
435
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:56,129
- Ready.
- Ready.
436
00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:57,695
Godspeed, boys.
437
00:15:57,826 --> 00:15:58,914
Welcome
to "Monster Peninsula."
438
00:15:59,045 --> 00:16:00,655
Go!
439
00:16:00,785 --> 00:16:04,572
A, B, A, B, X, Y. Up, down, up,
down, left, right, up, down.
440
00:16:04,702 --> 00:16:06,835
L, R, L, L. Left,
right, start, select.
441
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,619
Up, down.
442
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:11,405
A, B, B, A, Y. Left, right, L,
L, R, R. Now press and hold A.
443
00:16:11,535 --> 00:16:12,623
Hold it.
444
00:16:12,754 --> 00:16:13,842
Keep holding.
445
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:14,930
Hold it.
446
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:16,323
Hold!
447
00:16:16,453 --> 00:16:17,977
And rub it on the carpet.
448
00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:19,456
Swing it like a lasso.
449
00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:20,414
Charm it like a snake.
450
00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:23,417
Romance the controller.
451
00:16:23,547 --> 00:16:24,374
You're from Japan.
452
00:16:24,505 --> 00:16:25,245
How interesting.
453
00:16:25,375 --> 00:16:26,333
Love your buttons.
454
00:16:26,463 --> 00:16:27,682
More juice?
455
00:16:27,812 --> 00:16:29,684
Wash it, gentle
cycle, no bleach!
456
00:16:34,297 --> 00:16:35,777
Go, go, go, go, go.
457
00:16:35,907 --> 00:16:38,736
Start, select, X, Y,
up, down, left, right.
458
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:40,434
Bathe the controller in
the blood of a virgin.
459
00:16:40,564 --> 00:16:41,435
Prick your finger fast.
460
00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:42,349
I'm not a virgin.
461
00:16:42,479 --> 00:16:43,698
Yeah, me neither.
462
00:16:43,828 --> 00:16:44,960
I've had sex like 1,000 times.
- Shut up!
463
00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:45,961
We're all virgins.
464
00:16:46,092 --> 00:16:46,918
Whatever, I'll do it.
465
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:48,181
Jerks.
466
00:16:48,311 --> 00:16:49,399
OK, now shoot the controller.
Fast!
467
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:50,313
Kill it!
468
00:16:54,143 --> 00:16:54,926
And that's it.
469
00:16:59,409 --> 00:17:01,455
You've unlocked boner mode.
470
00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:37,099
Hi, I'm Charles.
471
00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:39,841
I'll be your hangover today.
472
00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:42,365
Keep it down.
473
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:45,412
It's good, huh?
474
00:17:45,542 --> 00:17:47,283
Hey, man, what are you
having, scotch or whiskey?
475
00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:49,807
Is that all you have?
476
00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:51,592
All I serve.
477
00:17:51,722 --> 00:17:52,854
Come on, dude.
478
00:17:52,984 --> 00:17:54,464
Dance like nobody's
watching, guys!
479
00:17:54,595 --> 00:17:55,378
Come on.
480
00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:56,423
Pew, pew.
481
00:17:56,553 --> 00:17:57,511
Remember when we were all kids?
482
00:17:58,599 --> 00:18:00,122
All single guys.
483
00:18:00,253 --> 00:18:01,645
All single guys.
484
00:18:01,776 --> 00:18:03,299
All single guys.
485
00:18:03,430 --> 00:18:06,520
There's nothing
more than I love drinking.
486
00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:12,221
You can't
fit me in a cell.
487
00:18:12,352 --> 00:18:13,701
Where are you going?
488
00:18:13,831 --> 00:18:15,529
I cut you.
489
00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:17,879
Now I'm going to take your horns
out and you like a cow!
490
00:18:23,624 --> 00:18:26,148
Hey, girl, you want your
babies to have eyes like these?
491
00:18:29,325 --> 00:18:32,720
You got to tell me because
I'm going to die tonight.
492
00:18:32,850 --> 00:18:34,156
Up and at 'em, Dane.
493
00:18:34,287 --> 00:18:35,853
We have a super, great
day planned for us.
494
00:18:35,984 --> 00:18:37,377
- Oh, no.
- Yeah!
495
00:18:38,943 --> 00:18:41,163
Hey, uh, buddy, how many
fingers am I holding up?
496
00:18:41,294 --> 00:18:42,686
I don't give a flying fig.
497
00:18:42,817 --> 00:18:43,731
Oh.
498
00:18:45,950 --> 00:18:47,343
Careful there, big fella.
499
00:18:47,474 --> 00:18:49,824
Find your feet.
500
00:18:49,954 --> 00:18:51,347
You got it.
501
00:18:51,478 --> 00:18:54,394
Yeah, I'm perfectly
capable of walking myself.
502
00:19:03,272 --> 00:19:04,534
You're doing great, bud.
503
00:19:04,665 --> 00:19:06,667
Doing great.
504
00:19:06,797 --> 00:19:07,711
I'll kill you.
505
00:19:13,021 --> 00:19:15,763
OK, Charlie, do your worst.
506
00:19:27,078 --> 00:19:30,169
Just a little bellyache, OK.
507
00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:31,431
I need booze.
508
00:19:38,481 --> 00:19:39,221
What are you doing, Dane?
509
00:19:39,352 --> 00:19:41,180
Hair of the dog, man.
510
00:19:41,310 --> 00:19:43,182
The best cure for a hangover.
511
00:19:43,312 --> 00:19:44,879
Are you sure you
want to do that?
512
00:19:45,009 --> 00:19:45,923
Yeah.
513
00:19:48,665 --> 00:19:50,450
All righty, then.
514
00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:54,062
You're definitely not going
to regret this one, Dane.
515
00:20:05,726 --> 00:20:06,509
No, no, no.
516
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:07,423
Don't do this.
517
00:20:07,554 --> 00:20:08,555
Don't do this, huh?
518
00:20:08,685 --> 00:20:09,643
I'm just a guy.
519
00:20:09,773 --> 00:20:10,557
I'm just a guy.
520
00:20:12,428 --> 00:20:13,473
No!
521
00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:14,387
Don't touch me!
522
00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:17,259
Don't touch me!
523
00:20:17,390 --> 00:20:19,914
No, we saw that movie on
the sci-fi channel, so we
524
00:20:20,044 --> 00:20:20,915
decided to go to Aruba instead.
525
00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:23,178
We were too scared
about getting sucked
526
00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:24,440
into the Bermuda Triangle.
527
00:20:24,571 --> 00:20:26,486
So smart.
528
00:20:26,616 --> 00:20:28,923
So many people and things
disappear from there.
529
00:20:29,053 --> 00:20:32,448
It's like the world's
freakiest unsolvable mystery.
530
00:20:32,579 --> 00:20:34,885
Yeah, like, what's going
on with that triangle?
531
00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:35,799
What is it?
532
00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:37,105
What happens there?
533
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,759
I have nightmares
about that place.
534
00:20:40,369 --> 00:20:42,850
According to science,
535
00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:46,332
it's probably weather,
like crazy rip
536
00:20:46,462 --> 00:20:48,986
tides or tropical cyclones.
537
00:20:49,117 --> 00:20:53,077
Or magnetic variations
that f-up your compass.
538
00:20:53,208 --> 00:20:54,905
Or methane hydrates.
539
00:20:55,036 --> 00:20:57,386
Those are ocean farts.
540
00:20:57,517 --> 00:21:01,085
Some people say that we'll
never know for certain,
541
00:21:01,216 --> 00:21:03,436
but we figured it out.
542
00:21:03,566 --> 00:21:05,089
We're positive.
543
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:10,051
Oh, Bermuda Triangle,
hey, mystery solved.
544
00:21:13,663 --> 00:21:17,711
It's a doorway that takes
you to another dimension.
545
00:21:17,841 --> 00:21:21,367
Or UFOs/aliens.
546
00:21:21,497 --> 00:21:25,719
Or else it's ghosts and vampires
and witches and warlocks.
547
00:21:25,849 --> 00:21:29,157
Or the Loch Monster
and Moby Dick.
548
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:33,596
Or it's a magical island
with Elvis and Tupac.
549
00:21:33,727 --> 00:21:35,729
And JFK is there.
550
00:21:35,859 --> 00:21:37,557
And everything's cool.
551
00:21:37,687 --> 00:21:41,822
Since no one will go there
to find out for sure,
552
00:21:41,952 --> 00:21:46,479
let's just assume we're right.
553
00:21:46,609 --> 00:21:48,655
No, it's none of that stuff.
554
00:21:48,785 --> 00:21:50,178
It's God's butthole.
555
00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:51,919
And it's sucking people
straight to heaven.
556
00:21:52,049 --> 00:21:52,789
No, wait.
557
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:54,008
Heaven's up.
558
00:21:54,138 --> 00:21:56,010
Oh, so it's Satan's butthole.
559
00:21:56,140 --> 00:21:58,926
And it's sucking all the bad
people straight down to hell.
560
00:21:59,056 --> 00:22:00,014
Yup.
561
00:22:00,144 --> 00:22:02,451
Let's just assume we're right.
562
00:22:06,847 --> 00:22:08,196
That's exactly what
I thought it was.
563
00:22:08,327 --> 00:22:10,329
Mm-hmm.
38103
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