Original subtitles

The past, the present, the future with Emily Heller.

Hi, I'm Emily Heller, and I'm sitting here with actor

and comedian, Kenan Thompson.

Kenan, are you high right now?

Oh, no doubt.

Nice.

So we're going to find out if you are going

to survive the apocalypse.

Yeah.

I have a feeling this is gonna be a spooky one.

I hope not.

First card, Page of Swords.

The Page of Swords is a very talkative young man.

He just talks and talks.

He's just a real chatter box.

He just won't shut up ever.

I don't think I really--

Shsh!

Next card, The World.

- The world? - The world.

Yeah.

I'm up against the world.

It's gonna come down to you, maybe this lady.

It's a lot of pressure.

Have you been doing some survival training?

I'm not really, you know, able to go into that, legally.

But let's just say I'm prepared.

This next card represents your hopes and fears.

Juggling.

I'm afraid of juggling in public.

In private you're fine juggling?

I'm awesome.

Chainsaws, bowling balls.

What happens if you try and do it in public?

Everybody dies.

Oof.

I'm surprised that's not the main thing

people know about you.

Next card, Five of Cups.

When's the last time you went to Reggae on the River?

I've actually never been.

What?

Maybe this is you full of regret.

The head is down cloaked in shame, looks like.

About never going to Reggae on the River.

That was a sweet time from what I heard, man.

Winning bagels?

Doobies?

You said it.

Next card, The High Priestess.

Do you know any powerful, strong women?

Yeah.

Yeah, I think I know a few.

What about bitches?

Do you any, like, total bitches?

Well, I'm sorry, can we cut?

Cut for a second.

Yeah, we can cut.

That's crazy.

It's desperate.

This is your final outcome.

Wow, final outcome.

This will answer the question, what's gonna happen

to Kenan during the apocalypse?

Last card, the King of Pentacles.

Riches, joy.

Joy, and riches, and blankets.

Blankets, and herbs, and spices all for me

brought from individual travelers passing through.

We did it.

So it would be 10 jars of oil for your passage,

5 different boxes of spice.

We need canned goods, water.

If you wanna come onto my land and live

in harmony for the rest of eternity,

that's what it's gonna cost you.

Do you accept tarot card bartering?

No.

Great news, honey.

My 1 o'clock meeting I've cancelled.

I think I have time for a nooner.

Whoo-hoo! Sex time.

Sex! Sex!

Let's do this.

All right, welcome to another exciting edition

of "Wheel of Sex."

Who wants to spin first? - Me!

Oh, I do.

Oh, looks like someone's excited.

All right, Larry, whatever sex act you land on,

you have to perform.

Anal! Anal!

Anal! Oh, come on!

Ooh, looks like someone's gonna do some chores.

Stupid tree with stupid leaves.

I don't even know why they put that on the wheel.

God!

All right, wheel, make mama happy.

Oral! Oral!

Oral!

Beauty!

God!

Larry, this is terrible!

Well, I'm not having a good time either.

Anal! Anal!

It's threesome!

Yes, now we're talking!

With the lovely Hogan.

Oh, honey, it's Hogan.

No, we had a man last time.

Fair enough.

With the lovely Crystal.

No, I am using my veto power.

Get back in there!

It's hot in there.

Stop complaining.

We need this job.

All right, Shirley, you're up.

Ooh, S & M, where they start to eat your heart out.

We got chains, whips, gags, and handcuffs.

Well, whatever it is, Larry, it can't get any worse than that.

It's doggystyle.

Now, Larry, you can keep that or you can

take what's underneath the box. - I'll take the box!

It's chores! - Motherfuck--

Stupid title with a stupid grout.

It's Peeping Tom.

Now you two are gonna have sex while Doug here sits on the bed

and watches.

I'm not even here.

Get out!

Already gone.

Okey-dokey, I'm just gonna cycle

through the wheel and see if we can find

something that we're in to.

Glory hole. - No.

Backwards Twister. - Bad back!

Golden Shower.

Are you kidding me?

Hand Job in the Airport Bathroom!

Get out of the way, all right?

Hey, look at that.

Landed on Missionary.

It works for me.

All right, I guess I'll just head back inside.

Oh, actually, is there any chance

that maybe you could fix the air conditioning here

because it gets really hot.

Just shut the door!

You're the boss.

Ooh, daddy likee.

Where the is my meditation candle?

Friends for 30 years,

we've been writing comedy.

Now we run a Bed and Brunch in the Hudson Valley.

Hudson Valley Ballers.

What?

Uh.

Mhm.

I'm so glad we moved to the Hudson Valley, James.

Uh, me too.

It's so nice to be out of the city and just breathe.

Ah, no kidding.

I really do love it here.

Yeah, I noticed.

Who's that girl that keeps hanging around?

You mean Just Jamie?

Hey, Kendra.

Yeah, I gotta pregnant feral up on Carney Road,

and she is spooked.

Clawed my face off.

Still love her, though.

I think I'm gonna name her Bipsy.

Hey.

She's Just Jamie.

She just helps me with general things and various stuff

and so on and the like.

Look, it's none of my les-ness.

I mean, I'm always checking out the local drifter.

Oh, man, he is ripe.

Yo go queer for drifters.

This cup is so precious.

It's like a little kitten in a baptismal dress.

James, cats never like to be in any kind of costume, James!

It's never their idea.

Don't give me that animal shit right now.

Yeah, well, tell that to a cat on a surfboard.

I love our friendship.

Me too.

It's the best.

What do you need, little girl?

What's the matter?

I think she wants to show us something.

Is that two people face down in the yard?

Hand me my opera glasses.

OMFG.

Huh?

That deer looks like Mia Farrow.

James, focus.

They're not moving.

I wonder if they're OK.

Mhm, the grass looks a little wet.

Well, I'm not running these crocs, I'll tell you that much.

Oh, boy, if these two people are dead,

I am gonna be really, really sad.

Me too.

I just wish the grass wasn't wet.

I'd be out there. - Let's throw something.

- I'll do that. - Maybe we can rouse them.

Good one, Paula.

Very close.

Almost got it.

OK, here we go.

1, 2, 3.

They're moving.

Hope you're OK because we're not coming out there.

We are not coming out there in the wet grass.

Hi, y'all.

I'm Goiterjean.

Hey.

We walked here all the way from Nashville.

We're singers, songwriters, dream-catchers.

Ahh.

You can say here, pay what you need.

Yeah, come stay with us.

I ain't got no money.

They don't have no dots ploted on it.

But you got something better.

You got an adorable daughter.

I didn't have kids so it really cuts deep.

Honey, we don't have a daughter.

Not a one.

Have drunk gin in Virginia,

rye in the Rockies, and wine for the loves that I've lost.

I've get snapped with the sheriff,

play quarters with the convict, and jumped off some bridges

I have crossed.

We now take you live to Capitol Hill

where a Congressional Hearing on vaguebooking is underway.

Miss Anderson, I guess I just wanna know why.

Why do you post vague status updates on Facebook,

also known as vaguebooking?

OK, well, we have your page pulled up.

So here are two recent status updates of yours.

"I guess this is it."

And "Ah, some days I just wanna start ripping my hair out

when you call."

Miss Anderson, what's the point?

It seems like you're just begging for a response.

Are the posts for one person?

Are they for all of us?

You just posted, "I don't wanna talk about it."

Like that.

Is that about me asking questions?

"Don't look back."

Is there someone behind me?

Congressman, please.

Well, is there?

I don't know.

Please, just give us a straight answer.

Are you OK?

She's writing again.

"Quitting."

"Hopeless."

This is?

Or life is?

Or your relationship with Rick Clerd?

Is that hopeless?

Are any of them about me?

"Haven't felt this way in a while."

Is that good or bad? - Could either.

Maybe good.

Maybe she's falling in love with me.

"Don't know how to make it better."

This situation?

Or like, when you posted, "Never getting better," a week ago?

"Giving up."

Don't give up.

We'll get through this.

What's the matter?

- Are you still-- - Yeah, that's what she wrote.

still reading. I'm sorry, I thought you were--

No.

Are you giving up on me?

Or are you giving up on the hearing?

Did you give up on the hearing?

Just talk to us.

No, do not type anymore.

I don't wanna hear that noise.

Do not-- do not hit Send.

Do not--

Oh, come on.

Can somebody grab it from her.

I don't care.

I've had enough of this.

Does anyone have a charger?

Is it a 4? I got a 4.

No, yeah.

No.

We'll be back in a few minutes

with this continuing investigation,

and join us tomorrow for the Congressional Hearing on people

who use selfie sticks.

So I was at my 29th birthday party

and people were hounding me.

They were, like, "Hey, whatcha gonna choose?"

Or, "Hey, what are you gonna do?"

You know?

And it was then I realized I had to get serious.

When a guy like me gets older, he

has to decide whether to go to grad school

or open a craft brewery.

Everyone likes beer, but I like beer extra, you know.

Most people drink one beer, but then I'll drink,

like, two beers or three beers.

I wanna do something unique, you know?

Something only one million other guys wanna do.

Hey, honey.

Hey, mom.

Aw, come here.

My mom's kind of a bitch, but I love her.

The choice you make will affect the rest of your life.

I mean, not financially.

We'll pay for it, but It will be the personality you adopt.

Well, it's hard because in grad school, you can party.

That'd be awesome.

If I open my own craft brewery,

I can drink as much beer as I want,

and my friends can drink there too.

Mhm.

Well, it has to be one of those two.

I'd better get going.

Some gas money.

Thank you.

Now you drive safe, sweetie.

My dad's kind of a dick, but I love him.

People think that there's other options out there--

law school, literally any other job.

But when you're creative, and you're chill,

and you're upper-middle class, you

don't have any other options.

Come on!

Figured it out.

So this is gonna be the brewery, or the office, or whatever.

That's where the brew tanks are gonna be or my desk.

I wish I could, like, see into the future

and know which one would be less work.

This is so much pressure.

It's kind of big news to tell you guys.

I'm going to go to grad school to learn how to brew beer.

Business school?

No, we just make beer and drink it.

It's a special program at NYU.

Probably gonna get pretty drunk.

Your grandpa would be so proud.

Thanks, dad.

I love you guys.

Oh, it's gonna be wonderful.

I know it's not the end of my journey, though.

Yes.

After my brewery goes out of business,

it's just gonna get harder and harder.

I'm gonna have to decide whether to work for my dad's company

or just let him pay my bills.

One step at a time, though.

One step at a time.

We most Americans

think of Germany, we think of things that aren't very funny.

Germans are known for their efficiency,

productivity, discipline, and seriousness,

not for their sense of humor.

Even a sweet silly word like "giggles"

sounds serious when you say it in German.

A recent international poll actually

ranked Germany as the least funny nation in the world,

but are Germans really too serious to be funny?

Or is their humor simply lost in translation?

I'm Brooks Wheelan, and I'm about to find out.

Germans are aware of their unfunny reputation

and have made a national effort to combat their humor problem

by establishing the German Humor Institute, which

is where I'm headed today.

It's crazy how proud Germany is of its trains

because they have, like, literally

the worst history with trains.

When we think of trains, we think of, like,

the Holocaust, which is awful.

And then you come over here it's like,

"Have you seen our trains?"

Stuff like, "I've heard of your trains, you know?

These are nice train."

A dude came by.

He was like, "Would you like a coffee?"

And I was like, "No."

And he's like, "But you called if you wanted.

Do whatever you want on this train.

Forget about other train.

You know, these are nice train."

Was very proud of our trains now.

We have a mobile hotspot.

Mhh, you like that?

You put your phone.

You do not look up history.

You don't look up history.

We would never kill anyone.

Have you seen what we've done post-1989?

Everything before.

Afterwards, ha-ha-ha.

We're into comedy.

Don't let us do another war.

We'll be so embarrassed.

If I was gonna understand German humor, I had to get serious.

And nowhere on Earth is humor taken

more seriously than the German Humor institute.

The institute offers personal humor coaching, joke seminars,

and classes on subjects like humorous spontaneity

and sarcasm.

Brooks, let me tell you something

about the German humor.

OK, this is great.

Germans love structure.

You know, structure?

I can tell, yeah.

They totally like exaggeration like press yourself

while telling a funny story.

They have a bit of a difficult history, so--

What?

Germans may not be very good at sarcasm,

but they sure are good at charts.

Let's come to humor styles.

Eva was teaching me to be funny the same way

scientists teach evil robots how to imitate humans.

Getting your eyes bigger, and using your muscles here,

and just using your smile.

Yeah, that's pretty good.

OK, yeah.

Open your mouth.

Yeah.

Think about something sad.

Try to take your eyes a little bit down.

You're coming there.

Yeah.

And what, of course, is very easy that's why we go from--

We can't just move on now.

We're just gonna move on after that?

So what I would like to do is to exercise

and you ask me, "What are you doing?"

And I'm allowed to answer everything, just

not this thing what I'm doing.

What are you doing, Eva?

I'm cleaning the toilet.

OK.

I wasn't sure what she was doing or what I was doing

or why either of us were doing it.

All I knew was that there had to be more to German comedy

than this. Thank you so much.

I really appreciate it.

Great having you.

I hit the streets of Berlin, Germany's capital city,

to talk to some locals.

Would you say Germans have a good sense of humor?

Oh, yes.

Yeah, kind of.

No, they don't have.

I think they have a really strange sense of humor.

Would you say that you are funny?

I think I have a kind of humor in me.

I like it.

Yeah, I think you do too.

I think in the South, people are more maybe outgoing.

In the North, the humor is more about the deeper

sense of what you say.

What's your favorite comedy movie?

This is the question I can't answer.

No one could give me any definitive answers.

I decided the only way to find out what's funny in Germany

is by asking a funny German.

So I met up with one of Germany's

most popular stand-up comedians, Manuel Wolff.

You do stand up comedy, right?

I do stand-up comedy here in Germany, yeah.

Is there any way that you could,

like, generalize what Germans--

what the sense of humor is?

We don't have a sense of humor.

That's it?

No.

Are we that serious?

Do we come across as--

Yes, that's what the world thinks.

That's what the world thinks?

They have to be wrong.

Everybody has a sense of humor.

I'd say there is some reservation

about certain topics or about risky subjects,

not just World War II, just like anything.

Do you guys make fun of Americans?

No.

In Germany, do you have like-- No.

No, never.

There's nothing to make fun of the Americans.

OK.

I mean, they're the best and greatest people in the world.

That's what I thought.

Let's just move on to the next question.

Next question.

Is it difficult to, like, translate the German language

into, like, a joke structure?

Yes, I could give you an example.

The English language quite naturally

puts the punchline or the joke at the end of the sentence.

Yeah.

And with German sentence structure, it's more difficult.

For example, punchline of a joke would be, "And that's

why I took the dog to the manicure."

Yeah.

And in German, it would be--

So manicure is the punchline,

but it wouldn't be the end of the sentence.

You have to say [SPEAKS A GERMAN PHRASE] to tell the audience

that you took the dog there, right?

Yeah, yeah.

How do you feel German audience is, like, different from, like,

English-speaking audiences?

Yeah.

English audiences are more forgiving.

If you have, like, 10 good jokes and 1

bad joke, English audience would go, "Hey, telling great jokes.

Thank you, thank you, thank you."

German audience would say, "Well, that one joke,

that wasn't OK."

That is my impression.

That sounds terrible.

For me, I'll be like, "What about the 10?"

You know what?

I play tonight, doing stand-up tonight in English.

Well, you should come. You can perform.

It's an open stage. - Really?

Yeah, of course.

I'm very excited, but I'm terrified.

Let's go.

OK, all right.

This is like the most German thing I've ever seen.

As you can hear from my accent, I'm not English.

I'm Australian.

Sorry, no offense to other Germans,

but I started to do stand-up comedy in English

to get away from other Germans.

You could be climbing some remote mountains

somewhere in the Himalayas.

The one other German person in the 600-mile radius

will finally climb up to you and go, "Hello."

A huge round of applause.

Mr. Brooks Wheelan.

This is a crowded, man, like there's

no German word for fire code?

Relax, guys, you can sell out, you know that.

You can just be, like, we're full.

OK, I have, like, one German word down, which is "hello."

like, I can knock that out of the park.

Like when I go into, like, a restaurant, I'm like, "Hello."

And they're like,

And I have to be, like, "Oh, I lied.

I don't know what you just said to me."

I used to live in New York City.

I left.

It's just not for me, man.

It's too rough.

New York is insane.

They love how they are.

They're like, "Welcome to New York City,

the city that never sleeps."

No, man.

Well, that sounds like a nightmare.

I sleep all the time.

It really helps my mood.

You should try sleep.

I had no idea this scene was here.

It's awesome.

Like, this is very cool, and you guys should be superproud.

I was really pleasantly, amazingly surprised.

And thank you so much.

Guys, Brooks Wheelan.

Thanks.

Thanks, man.

I'll see you, dude.

Reminders of Germany's dark turbulent history

are everywhere in Berlin, and some of that history

is very recent, which makes last night's comedy

show seem even more remarkable.

Germans seem to be moving out from the shadows

of its dark past and into a much brighter, funnier future.

A bit insane.