Original subtitles

What the hell are you doing here?

What's happening here?

Wait, don't shoot. Don't shoot.

She said la la la la la

La la la la la la

La la la la la la

Wait. Your family.

-Coming today? -Yeah.

This is our last time together.

-It's very, very sad. -Very sad.

Now keep going.

Yes.

Yes.

You look so pretty.

This is such a good look for you.

You must be so excited.

So excited. Yay.

It's the moment you've been waiting for. Do you feel ready?

So ready.

-Hi. -Hi.

-How are you doing? -Good.

-How are you? -Well, I'm great.

-Wait, let me just take my things. -Okay.

Merci.

Shit!

Come here you.

I have missed you so, so much.

Been away for far too long.

Hurry up, I'm busy.

Wait, wait, I'm coming.

Darling, I'll just pay the taxi, all right?

Okay, I'm gonna wait here by the door.

Okay.

How much is it?

35.

Hey!

I got your address from the bartender.

This is my hospital bill.

You've got 30 days to pay it.

I've got five stitches in my dick because of you!

What's going on here?

I have no idea.

Maybe this will remind you then.

What are you doing?!

Beat it, asshole!

You will hear from my lawyers!

What's with that jerk?

I've no idea.

What's wrong? The neighborhood is full of weirdos.

So, how was your trip?

Well, it was actually a nightmare.

You know, first the train was delayed,

and then I tried to go to the restroom, but someone was smoking inside.

-Oh, that's awful. -Yes, terrible.

You must be really thirsty, do you want a cold drink?

Yes, please.

Oh, cheers.

So, how have you been?

Great. Busy.

Well we haven't spoken in a few days, we have a...

-a lot of catching up to do. -Yeah.

We do.

Well, you go first. I'm all ears.

Right.

Well, what I wanted to talk to you is--

Hello!

How are you doing?

-Hi. -Hey.

Bon on se fait juste un ptit café- We'll just make a small coffee,

and then we're leaving, so, you have the whole place for yourselves.

Oh. No rush. We haven't even talked yet.

Well, would you excuse me, I'm in the bathroom for a minute.

Okay.

So? How's it going?

It's a bit strange actually.

It's like we don't know what to say.

You're both really nervous.

I still feel very bad about all the lies.

It's not like he's ever gonna find out.

Wait you show him what you've learned.

You won't feel so bad about all the lies.

And by the way,

I assume that you're changing into something sexier than this?

Of course she is.

I put some lingerie options on your bed. I'm so excited.

Good luck.

Come on.

Tell us how it goes.

What hell are you doing here?

This morning I lost my phone. So, I came in from the back door.

You have to leave, right now.

My brother is on his way. He's a policeman too.

-He have gun? -Yes, big gun.

What's happening here?

Wait! Don't shoot! Don't shoot!

She's naked.

So, then the TV broke and since I had no phone I couldn't call

service so I went down to the street to get help and luckily

Oleg agreed to come up.

-What to fix the TV? -Yes.

And he must have forgotten his phone which is why he came back today.

Wait, wait.

Why were you looking for your phone in Ellie's bedroom?

Because this morning we make sex.

Well, I don´t blame her, just look at that body.

What?

What the hell is this guy talking about?

Thanks Oleg. No really, thank you.

My babushka always say, my babushka don't say lie.

What, you mean it's really true?

Yes, it's true.

We had sex a few times.

I can't believe it, you know what? I never would have imagined--

I'm sorry.

Really.

I'm so sorry.

Why sorry? We make very good sex.

Oleg!

Why you care what your brother think?

Which brother? I thought you only have sisters.

What the hell Ellie? You were lying to us this whole time?

You promised us that you'd stop!

Stop what?

Oleg? Could you give us a minute?

Russia.

This is unbelievable, utterly unbelievable.

I know, but please, don't be mad at Ellie.

Like Veronique said, we are the ones who put her up to this.

She was afraid you would laugh at her because she didn't have

enough experience.

Zero experience.

And remember that girl from the party?

Miss Romania.

-Anya. -Well, actually--

Wait. We haven't finished yet.

Please don´t break up with Ellie.

She such a great... but, you guys are such a super duper couple.

You're so compatible.

'Cause she's like, a Gemini, and you're a Pisces.

And all these men she slept with--

Right, that is it! Shut up the lot of you,

because apparently, none of you have noticed that I am right here.

I've been right here for the whole time

and I am perfectly capable of speaking for myself.

So, let me just clear up a few facts, okay? In case there any doubts.

A, I did not do this because the two of you put me up to it,

I did it because I wanted to.

And B, I didn't just do it for him, I also did it for me.

So, yes. Yes, it's true.

I was a virgin.

And I started out very, very naive,

and I thought the most important thing

was to learn how to please my man.

Yeah, it's quite laughable, isn't it?

But, you know what? I'm not that girl anymore.

I'm sorry Olivier for lying to you,

but these past few weeks have been the best time of my life.

I've never felt so free and alive.

And I found out that there's still so much to learn

and I'm just not ready to be with one guy.

But, I really am sorry.

Truly sorry

for hurting you.

I just hope you can forgive me.

Of course I can forgive you.

This is such a relief.`

-What? -What?

One second.

I've been downstairs for half an hour.

Good luck, Olivier.

Anya? What hell are you doing here?

-You didn't tell her? -Tell me what?

I was just going to. All right?

Ellie.

Anya and I are back together.

-What? -Oh, come on.

I ran into her in a little café in Avignon and--

"You ran into her", Bah Oui parce que hein.

The world renowned place for Romanian tourism, sure.

And when she heard that you and I were together

for almost two months and hadn't had sex yet.

She...

she just clearly opened my eyes.

She made me realize I love you more like a sister.

I have like a cousin who sleeps with his sister--

Kira, sweetheart, not now.

Goodbye, Ellie.

I wish you the very best.

Are you okay, sweetie?

Let's go for drinks and forget about this giant douche!

Or we can go to movie.

Yeah, how about a comedy?

-No, a porn Veronique. -Yes, a comedy.

For goodness sake, stop babying me.

I don't need movies, I don't need drinks, I'm fine!

Actually I've never felt better.

It's over, I'm free.

I don't want to talk about it anymore.

Oleg? What are you doing?

Sorry. I still did not find my phone.

It's right there, underneath the dresser.

Sorry,

I'm really sorry for today.

Your brother

might be very mad at you.

He's not my brother, he's my boyfriend.

Was my boyfriend.

Although, apparently now I'm his sister.

So, I...

I make big problem for you?

Must be mad.

You know what?

I am very mad.

And I know just how you can make it up to me.