Original subtitles

God, what does a girl have to do to have sex in this city?

Pardon?

Sorry. Nothing, it´s just...

Could you just do a U-turn?

She said, la, la, la, la

La, la, la, la

I live just around the corner.

-Do you? -Wanna leave?

Yeah?

Excuse me, I'll pay both glasses.

What is that?

Where... where are you going?

What the hell just happened here?

Fuck.

No.

Whoa, you're gonna swipe right to that?

Of course. Bruno totally looks like a Libra

and I'm an Aquarius.

My psychic says it's a very sensual match.

And did your psychic also notice that beautiful shadow

that Bruno has around his collar?

Oh, my God. Is that back hair?

Major.

I know it´s kinda mean to say, but

back hair causes me blockage.

My endorphins refuse to release.

No.

Oh, hi, Ellie.

-Hey. -What happened to "serious cutie"?

-Ran off. -Why?

The bartender at Titty Twister told him what happened last week.

-Ooh, the bite job? -Yeah.

Apparently, there's a dick pic with my teeth marks

circulating around Paris.

I am now considered a danger to penises everywhere.

No wonder. Just put it away.

Bon, what we going to do with her? She hasn't made any progress

and Olivier is due back in two weeks.

Because she isn't centered.

She's wasting her time in bars instead of

focusing her sexual energy on Seener.

Excuse me. "She" is right here

and there is no way I'm going on Seener.

Oh, come on, it´s easy. It´s fun.

It´s like online shopping, but for men.

Look, I got ten matches in one hour.

What am I gonna do with ten matches? Am I a rabbit?

We're all animals, Ellie.

We all love sex.

We all need sex.

Every orgasm is a spiritual awakening,

and the key to unlocking your vagina

is right in the palm of your hand.

You wanna use that on Seener?

That's my profile picture.

Yeah, have you seen your coat? What are you? 80?

It's my favorite coat.

Oh, no, no, even better,

let's use this super corny picture.

That's not corny. It was taken at my cousin's farm.

Ah, finally, a beach picture.

But she's hiding her beautiful body.

people will think she's opposite of skinny.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Once again, she can hear you

and I already see where this is going,

so if two of you think you are going to get me in some cheep lingerie,

splayed on a bed with my boobs hanging out...

Lift up your leg, further back, keep going... a little bit more.

You look constipated.

Take a deep breath.

And release.

There you go.

Nice.

Girls, what do you think?

Four words, thank god for Photoshop.

Don't be nasty.

I think it´s a little late for that.

Seriously, Ellie? Photoshop is only a tool to help bring out

your very best self.

Now, what do we write in your description?

"The only hair that should be between my legs,

-is your beard." -Don't you dare post that.

Oops.

Do you reckon he bring his babies on the date,

or just the wife? Pervert.

The Fedora, the bald man's best friend.

Definite left.

He's hot.

I agree, wait.

He is in my anthropology class and that would be a definite no,

unless you want me to wear a ski mask to school.

He's a definite right swipe.

I swiped.

Shit. He just sent me a message.

"Do you wanna have some fun?"

What do we do now?

Your taxi should be here in two minutes.

Maybe I should go up and change into normal underwear.

Ellie? Do you want to lose your virginity?

-Yes. -Then please,

no more granny underwear.

Fine.

I have to say she looks good.

But she needs a lucky charm.

Kira, why?!

I bought it at Coachella.

Of course, you did.

God, Vero. Why are you always so negative?

Because you're always so positive.

This is Paris. You're supposed to be annoyed and fed up.

My cab is here.

This is who I am.

If you don´t like it, I can always move out.

-Wish me luck? -No, I don't want you to move out.

Seriously, could you just please just try be a little bit less happy?

Don´t touch the bracelet!

Oh, my God!

Alright back there?

Sure. Who wants to ride in a taxi

when you can ride in a shopping cart.

Sorry. I...

I go shopping because...

tonight I go on holiday.

You are my last ride.

Great.

Didn't think it´s gonna be so much traffic tonight?

Oui, It is...

Fuck man! Move!

Fuck!

Second time today.

God. What does a girl have to do to have sex in this city.

Pardon?

Sorry, nothing, it's just...

Could you just do a U-turn?

As you wish.

Oh, God!

How do I get back up?

Ben euh, pull the handle.

Where is it? I can't see anything with all these bloody bags.

Wait, wait, I do it, I do it.

Thank you.

Sorry, just give me one second.

Much better.

That's beautiful.

Thanks.

-You don´t like? -Wow, I've...

just never really thought about it before honestly.

Wow, I don't think I'm ready for this.

Really?

So why you take off ton string? Hein?

Why you tell me you want sex tonight?

Why you wear symbol of gay pride?

Are you joking?

-You play games. -No, no, no, it's not that.

I just wanna go home.

Would you please put my seat back up?