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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,073 --> 00:00:13,946 ♪♪ 2 00:00:13,948 --> 00:00:16,080 What the [bleep] oh! Oh! 3 00:00:17,484 --> 00:00:21,754 ♪♪ 4 00:00:21,756 --> 00:00:23,421 Yes. 5 00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:28,761 ♪♪ 6 00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:34,699 ♪♪ 7 00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:44,309 ♪♪ 8 00:00:44,311 --> 00:00:45,778 The [bleep]? 9 00:00:47,782 --> 00:00:50,849 ♪♪ 10 00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:07,065 ♪♪ 11 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,533 Like the undertaker in this bitch. 12 00:01:08,535 --> 00:01:10,869 What's up, man? What's good, boss? 13 00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:15,874 Wow! Whoa! Okay, settle down. 14 00:01:15,876 --> 00:01:20,012 Want to talk about something kind of important today. 15 00:01:20,014 --> 00:01:22,614 Weed is becoming legal everywhere. 16 00:01:22,616 --> 00:01:23,816 [bleep] up. Insane. 17 00:01:23,818 --> 00:01:24,949 It's [bleep] up. 18 00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:27,151 Unbelievable. 19 00:01:27,153 --> 00:01:29,354 I had a friend who did weed once. 20 00:01:29,356 --> 00:01:31,023 Not proud of it. 21 00:01:31,025 --> 00:01:34,693 Now he's 12 feet under. 22 00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:36,161 When they saw what weed did to his body, 23 00:01:36,163 --> 00:01:38,963 They had to bury him twice as deep. 24 00:01:38,965 --> 00:01:41,900 Yeah. Then his corpse infected the groundwater 25 00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:44,569 And killed the whole township. 26 00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:47,772 Keep weed illegal, y'all, use your head. 27 00:01:47,774 --> 00:01:50,009 Weed -- brought to you by oxycodone! 28 00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:52,511 It's time to do my taxes. 29 00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:55,647 ♪♪ 30 00:01:55,649 --> 00:01:57,916 Yeah! You need to see 31 00:01:57,918 --> 00:01:59,317 Someone in this office? 32 00:01:59,319 --> 00:02:01,653 What's goin' on with you, piss farley? 33 00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:03,188 I got my w-2s, 34 00:02:03,190 --> 00:02:04,656 My w-9s, 35 00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:06,658 My w-69s. 36 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:10,462 Oh, no! I forgot my keef sheets! 37 00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,664 I got some blood diamonds to unload. 38 00:02:14,669 --> 00:02:16,801 Did you know that south america and africa 39 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:20,338 69'd back in pangaea? 40 00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:22,207 Okay. [ gibberish ] 41 00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,347 Announcer: The jelly wrestlers are here! 42 00:02:32,887 --> 00:02:35,620 Yeah! 43 00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:38,090 Ladies and gentlemen, you know her from everything. 44 00:02:38,092 --> 00:02:39,758 Raven-symoné! 45 00:02:41,095 --> 00:02:43,362 Whoa, raven! You look great! 46 00:02:43,364 --> 00:02:50,168 ♪♪ 47 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,904 Raven! Hello! 48 00:02:51,906 --> 00:02:53,371 I'm cravin' some raven. 49 00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:55,974 Oh, you got the hashtags ready! 50 00:02:55,976 --> 00:02:57,709 You look great! Thank you. 51 00:02:57,711 --> 00:03:00,178 Now, you replaced rudy on "the cosby show," 52 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,714 And then you replaced booty on "hanging with mr. Cooper." 53 00:03:01,716 --> 00:03:03,115 First of all, this is not a true statement. 54 00:03:03,117 --> 00:03:05,049 Did you cut her out of the script? 55 00:03:05,051 --> 00:03:06,719 [ vacuuming ] no, I didn't do anything 56 00:03:06,721 --> 00:03:10,255 That would -- [ inaudible over vacuum ] 57 00:03:10,257 --> 00:03:13,125 Toxic behind the scenes, were you marginalizing women? 58 00:03:13,127 --> 00:03:15,794 Does a three-year-old know what toxic really is? 59 00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:17,395 [ vacuuming ] thank you very much. 60 00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:18,730 Thank you. I appreciate it. 61 00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:20,064 Thank you. You're kind. 62 00:03:20,066 --> 00:03:23,068 You worked with michael jackson and bill cosby. 63 00:03:23,070 --> 00:03:24,136 Tell me what it was like to work with -- 64 00:03:24,138 --> 00:03:25,738 We're not gonna finish that question. 65 00:03:25,740 --> 00:03:27,405 ...Two completely unproblematic men. 66 00:03:27,407 --> 00:03:29,541 Not a part of this. And you wrote a song in '97 67 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,543 Called "I can get away with anything." 68 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:35,480 I'm assuming those lyrics were written by bill cosby as well. 69 00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:36,949 You know, I think bill cosby's innocent 70 00:03:36,951 --> 00:03:39,618 And I think the real murderer is still out there. 71 00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:45,624 Announcer: Are you sick of having a dirty car? 72 00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:48,226 We'll cover it in fish chum. Oh [bleep] 73 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,528 And... 74 00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:54,166 Kumail nanjiani might show up. Hey, I'm kumail! 75 00:03:54,168 --> 00:03:56,701 This is my place. Really sorry about the mess. 76 00:03:56,703 --> 00:03:58,903 I had a car and then someone crashed it 77 00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,572 And I had to walk everywhere, and I got a fitbit. 78 00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,641 And now I'm jacked, and now I'm in marvel movies. 79 00:04:02,643 --> 00:04:04,576 I've got a hot wife. It was her fault. It wasn't my fault. 80 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,711 I didn't -- I just came to pick it up. 81 00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:07,846 This is a fitbit. I'm really sorry. 82 00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:09,648 I don't want a fitbit. Fitbit presents 83 00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:11,183 Kumail's kar kwash. 84 00:04:11,185 --> 00:04:12,917 I'll hose it off. Hose it off, then, okay? 85 00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,753 Sir? Clean it if you want, I don't care. 86 00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:21,193 Kumail's kar kwash, only in burbank. 87 00:04:21,195 --> 00:04:23,195 ♪♪ 88 00:04:23,197 --> 00:04:25,263 And we are back 89 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,732 With raven-symoné. Aloha, daven. 90 00:04:29,536 --> 00:04:31,804 Oh, nice. 91 00:04:31,806 --> 00:04:33,172 You want a smoothie? 92 00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,944 That is so...Disturbing. Impressive, huh? 93 00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:41,213 You weren't expecting that. No. 94 00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:43,482 No, I wasn't. And it's disturbing. 95 00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:44,949 You got to expect the unexpected. 96 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:46,685 I don't want to talk about it. That's disturbing. 97 00:04:46,687 --> 00:04:48,620 Daniel boon-boon! Like, lisa b-- 98 00:04:48,622 --> 00:04:51,423 You know, binaca has a new pepper spray. 99 00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:53,325 Aah! 100 00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:57,962 Oh, hey, thank god someone's here. 101 00:04:57,964 --> 00:05:01,233 Look. Look what I found here before. 102 00:05:01,235 --> 00:05:02,901 You're [bleep] kidding me. No, man, 103 00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,503 Some -- some kids, like, beat him the [bleep] up. 104 00:05:04,505 --> 00:05:06,438 You're [bleep] kidding me. No, I think he was handing out 105 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:09,574 Parking tickets like crazy, somebody got pissed. 106 00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:12,177 Pretty funny. I think he's out of his precinct or something. 107 00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:13,578 I've been trying to keep him alive. 108 00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:15,848 How the [bleep]? Been feeding him donuts. 109 00:05:15,850 --> 00:05:17,716 This is their, like, natural diet. 110 00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:19,584 He's lovin' it. Don't have do feed him, 111 00:05:19,586 --> 00:05:20,652 You call 9-1-1. 112 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:22,120 No, no, no. Don't call the cops. 113 00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:23,321 I don't want to embarrass the guy 114 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,322 In front of his coworkers. 115 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,858 Got an officer down. 116 00:05:25,860 --> 00:05:28,326 I removed some of his blood already to lighten his load. 117 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:30,863 Do you know the street value of this blood? 118 00:05:30,865 --> 00:05:33,665 [ grunts ] I ripped one of his gold molars out. 119 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,800 I need to be compensated for my time. 120 00:05:35,802 --> 00:05:38,270 You want to do whippets while we wait for the cops to come? 121 00:05:38,272 --> 00:05:40,739 No! Why not? It's not like he's going to arrest us. Right? 122 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:42,741 Do whatever you want, I'm not worried about that. 123 00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:44,943 We got to get this guy palliative care. Here. Here. 124 00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:48,280 Help me milk him. I gotta milk him before he dies. 125 00:05:48,282 --> 00:05:50,282 Yo, you've got an officer down on the floor. 126 00:05:50,284 --> 00:05:51,416 Officer down. 127 00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:55,420 He's done. 128 00:05:55,422 --> 00:05:57,222 ♪ hallelujah ♪ 129 00:05:57,224 --> 00:05:59,624 Ladies and gentlemen, benny blanco. 130 00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:05,363 ♪♪ 131 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,232 Get on up here, my -- 132 00:06:07,234 --> 00:06:08,366 Oh, shit! 133 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,968 Oh. Just come sit with me. 134 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:11,970 Aw. 135 00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:14,239 Wow, this is great. 136 00:06:14,241 --> 00:06:15,774 Oh, wow, your [bleep] out! 137 00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:17,109 Great. Oh, beautiful. 138 00:06:17,111 --> 00:06:18,711 I'm going to kick my feet up. 139 00:06:18,713 --> 00:06:22,046 Yeah, get comfortable, my man. 140 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,448 We got you a cake. 141 00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:26,251 That chair is a cake chair. 142 00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:28,253 It's edible. Yeah, baby! 143 00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:30,655 Yeah! Let's go, benny! Not bad. 144 00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:32,124 I like the hair. 145 00:06:32,126 --> 00:06:35,527 Benny, I have good news. We have a humidifier 146 00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:38,931 Fighting a dehumidifier! 147 00:06:38,933 --> 00:06:42,735 Let's see who's going to win the humidity war. 148 00:06:42,737 --> 00:06:46,671 ♪♪ 149 00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:56,214 ♪♪ 150 00:06:56,216 --> 00:06:58,083 Well, hard to say who won. 151 00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,818 Yeah. Good job, guys. 152 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:04,489 Hey, benny blanco, why don't you play us some benny bongo? 153 00:07:09,363 --> 00:07:11,563 What? What? What is -- glue. 154 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,766 This is glue? Yeah. Don't eat that. 155 00:07:13,768 --> 00:07:15,634 This is glue?! Yeah. 156 00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,770 Great. Oh! 157 00:07:17,772 --> 00:07:19,638 What the -- that thing's on its moon cycle. 158 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,240 Whoa! Their cycles linked up! 159 00:07:22,242 --> 00:07:23,842 Can I ask you something? Yeah. 160 00:07:23,844 --> 00:07:25,644 If you were in the middle of nowhere, 161 00:07:25,646 --> 00:07:27,646 Indiana, you're driving, it's 3:30 in the morning. 162 00:07:27,648 --> 00:07:30,115 Okay. A little kid comes out of a field of corn. 163 00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:31,450 Boof! You hit him. 164 00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:32,785 Do you pull over and check in on him, 165 00:07:32,787 --> 00:07:35,120 Or do you just keep driving? 166 00:07:35,122 --> 00:07:37,322 You pull over. Shit. 167 00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:40,124 Me, what I would do, I would pull over 168 00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,661 And I would ask that little boy his pronouns. 169 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:47,532 Oh! 170 00:07:51,472 --> 00:07:54,138 Sorry. This used to be a nickelodeon studio. 171 00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:56,809 Nickelodeon's infamous for not cleaning out the studios 172 00:07:56,811 --> 00:07:59,278 That they once vacated. Okay. 173 00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:06,018 Ice bucket challenge! Oh! 174 00:08:06,020 --> 00:08:08,020 -Yes. How are you? -Hi! Great! 175 00:08:08,022 --> 00:08:10,022 I'm gonna make some calls, so... 176 00:08:10,024 --> 00:08:12,891 Okay. 177 00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:14,626 Hey, I'm eric. Nice to meet you. 178 00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:17,295 April? Yeah, my uncle actually owns the company 179 00:08:17,297 --> 00:08:18,763 And he got me this job. 180 00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:21,633 I got in trouble at my last job, so he came to the rescue. 181 00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:24,169 At least you had backup. That's right. 182 00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,104 You want a piña colada? Of course not. 183 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,040 Working, I'm at work. These are good. 184 00:08:28,042 --> 00:08:30,375 You're not a rum person? You want like a mezcal floater? 185 00:08:30,377 --> 00:08:32,911 I'm trying to work, for real. Don't bother me no more. 186 00:08:32,913 --> 00:08:34,446 It's 5:00 somewhere. 187 00:08:34,448 --> 00:08:36,448 I can't, I can't. It's drinking time. 188 00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:38,783 I'm doing data entry, too. But the only thing I want 189 00:08:38,785 --> 00:08:40,953 To enter is my uncle's hot new wife. 190 00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,057 What's in there? You want to do black coke? 191 00:08:45,059 --> 00:08:47,192 Didn't you say you was gonna leave me alone? 192 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:48,594 Printer ink is like an aphrodisiac. 193 00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:52,264 Look, you can snort it. I'm trying to work here. 194 00:08:52,266 --> 00:08:55,067 Oh! Yo! 195 00:08:55,069 --> 00:08:56,535 Trying to work is what I want to do. 196 00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:59,538 Whoo! That was good, girl, but... 197 00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:01,273 That shit did get me high. 198 00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:05,744 I heard you can catch a buzz off a fire extinguisher. 199 00:09:05,746 --> 00:09:07,880 Oh, my god! No, you're not doing this right now. 200 00:09:07,882 --> 00:09:12,751 Oh! [bleep] my uncle. [bleep] 201 00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:14,219 Oh, my god. 202 00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:17,622 What the hell is going on out here? 203 00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:20,024 I'm on a call in here. Please, keep it down! 204 00:09:20,026 --> 00:09:21,093 That's him, not me. 205 00:09:21,095 --> 00:09:23,562 Clean this shit up. 206 00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:26,231 Oh, my god. 207 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:27,432 April. 208 00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:28,833 Thanks for covering for me, big dog. 209 00:09:28,835 --> 00:09:30,769 I'm not your big dog. You need to leave me alone. 210 00:09:30,771 --> 00:09:32,838 Oh [bleep] the janitor's here. 211 00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:36,575 Oh, my god. Shh! 212 00:09:36,577 --> 00:09:38,042 Oh, my god. I got to get out of here. 213 00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:40,312 Hey, sir, you okay? He's okay. 214 00:09:40,314 --> 00:09:42,247 We just like to have fun in this office. 215 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,516 I got to shit, too. 216 00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:47,586 [ flatulence ] isn't life beautiful? 217 00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:50,188 This is how I connect to the natural world. 218 00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:55,660 Hey, April. 219 00:09:55,662 --> 00:10:00,132 My uncle died over 20 years ago. 220 00:10:00,134 --> 00:10:01,466 On this very day. 221 00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:03,135 You're absolutely disgusting. 222 00:10:03,137 --> 00:10:10,408 ♪♪ 223 00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,210 What's going on out here? 224 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:14,346 Guy that was here with the glasses... 225 00:10:14,348 --> 00:10:15,680 And the ponytail. 226 00:10:15,682 --> 00:10:19,351 The guy that was sitting here? 227 00:10:19,353 --> 00:10:21,886 He died 20 years ago. 228 00:10:21,888 --> 00:10:24,489 On this very day. 229 00:10:24,491 --> 00:10:29,494 ♪♪ 230 00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:33,431 Ladies and gentlemen, ho99o9 the explorer! 231 00:10:33,433 --> 00:10:35,500 Step on those legos! 232 00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:38,303 Ah! Shit. This shit hurts. 233 00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:39,838 Damn, this shit hurt. What the... 234 00:10:39,840 --> 00:10:41,173 -Oh, my god. -Oh, shit. 235 00:10:41,175 --> 00:10:43,375 And I'm perked up all day. 236 00:10:43,377 --> 00:10:44,509 [bleep] that [bleep] 237 00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:45,644 -You know what's going. -[bleep] 238 00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:47,312 I'm ripping everything. 239 00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:49,447 Aah! Shit. 240 00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:51,750 Eric: Feed the guys, they're starving! 241 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,320 Ah! What the [bleep] 242 00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:58,791 They're doing it all wrong! They're doing it all wrong! 243 00:10:58,793 --> 00:11:00,659 It's just not right! 244 00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:03,462 They didn't look at my notes at all when they were consulting 245 00:11:03,464 --> 00:11:04,863 With the bit! 246 00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:05,731 Yeah. 16355

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