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1
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:51,165
Do the new neighbors have
any kids my age?
Ripped By mstoll
2
00:00:51,201 --> 00:00:52,964
Joseph's getting
too active.
3
00:00:53,002 --> 00:00:55,766
I need someone to sit
around and watch TVwith.
4
00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:56,772
Stop it!
5
00:00:56,806 --> 00:00:59,434
No more families on the block!
6
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:01,034
Look at those free weights.
7
00:01:01,077 --> 00:01:03,705
That's the sign of a fit,
single woman.
8
00:01:03,747 --> 00:01:07,148
She's tired of the bar scene
and is looking for a man
9
00:01:07,183 --> 00:01:09,481
to share her foosball table
10
00:01:09,519 --> 00:01:12,010
and beer can
collection with.
11
00:01:12,055 --> 00:01:14,717
Now, Bobby, if a teenager moves
into that house,
12
00:01:14,758 --> 00:01:17,921
I'm counting on you to teach him
our community values.
13
00:01:17,961 --> 00:01:20,725
I know there's a lot of pressure
being the Block Captain's kid,
14
00:01:20,764 --> 00:01:22,732
but that was the life
you were born into.
15
00:01:22,766 --> 00:01:25,200
KAHN: Hey, Country
Bear Jamboree!
16
00:01:25,235 --> 00:01:27,203
My grandma send
me birthday check,
17
00:01:27,237 --> 00:01:28,898
but it not in
my mailbox.
18
00:01:28,938 --> 00:01:30,303
Which one of you take it?
19
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:32,069
Why would we steal
your check?
20
00:01:32,108 --> 00:01:33,336
How do I know?!
21
00:01:33,376 --> 00:01:36,573
Maybe your wife needs
new pitchfork.
22
00:01:36,613 --> 00:01:39,207
I hope the new neighbor
isn't another Kahn.
23
00:01:39,249 --> 00:01:41,217
His cracks about
Peggy are funny,
24
00:01:41,251 --> 00:01:43,981
but other than that,
he's completely useless.
25
00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:47,512
Here comes the
new neighbor.
26
00:01:47,557 --> 00:01:50,617
It is a lady!
27
00:01:50,660 --> 00:01:52,992
A big lady.
28
00:01:53,029 --> 00:01:53,996
It's a man.
29
00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:56,897
Oh, I didn't know
this was the type of neighborhood
30
00:01:56,933 --> 00:01:58,901
where guys stood
outside drinking beer.
31
00:01:58,935 --> 00:02:02,302
And I'm totally psyched, man!
32
00:02:02,338 --> 00:02:04,306
I'm totally psyched!
33
00:02:04,340 --> 00:02:06,001
Well, you should
be psyched.
34
00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:08,602
You can drink in the alley
until 8:15 p.m.
35
00:02:08,645 --> 00:02:12,012
It's all in the block charter
which I left in your mailbox.
36
00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:14,414
Hank Hill, Block Captain.
37
00:02:14,450 --> 00:02:16,611
Nice to meet you.
I'm Willie Lane.
38
00:02:16,653 --> 00:02:19,918
Huh. Anybody ever tell you
that you've got the same name
39
00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:22,117
as a Dallas Cowboy
backup lineman
40
00:02:22,158 --> 00:02:25,025
from the 1976
to '79 seasons?
41
00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:26,028
No.
42
00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:27,427
Yep. "Big" Willie Lane.
43
00:02:27,463 --> 00:02:29,988
Blocked a kick
to beat the 49ers.
44
00:02:30,033 --> 00:02:33,298
Then was cut one year later
and moved down to Mexico
45
00:02:33,336 --> 00:02:36,635
where he now wrestles animals
for tourists' pennies.
46
00:02:36,673 --> 00:02:38,197
You sure about that, chief?
47
00:02:38,241 --> 00:02:39,208
Whoa, that's...
48
00:02:39,242 --> 00:02:41,608
that's a Super Bowl ring.
49
00:02:41,644 --> 00:02:43,612
Sweet Lord,
you're Big Willie Lane!
50
00:02:43,646 --> 00:02:44,670
Got dang, man.
51
00:02:44,714 --> 00:02:48,582
You're even better
than a single lady.
52
00:02:48,618 --> 00:02:49,585
Yay!
53
00:02:49,619 --> 00:02:52,520
I like this little
chicken chest.
54
00:02:52,555 --> 00:02:54,182
He's got spirit.
55
00:02:54,224 --> 00:02:55,191
Yay!
56
00:02:55,225 --> 00:02:56,590
Ow, my-my head.
57
00:02:56,626 --> 00:02:58,253
Look at him over
there, Peggy.
58
00:02:58,294 --> 00:03:00,285
They never lose
that nobility.
59
00:03:00,330 --> 00:03:02,924
Oh, God, he's
coming this way.
60
00:03:02,966 --> 00:03:04,058
Just... just look casual.
61
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:07,627
WILLIE:
Hey, Hank!
62
00:03:07,670 --> 00:03:09,638
I thought you'd want
to see this.
63
00:03:09,672 --> 00:03:11,799
It's the football from
the kick I blocked.
64
00:03:11,841 --> 00:03:13,775
Looks just like it did on TV.
65
00:03:13,810 --> 00:03:15,072
(clears throat)
66
00:03:15,111 --> 00:03:17,079
Oh, uh, Willie,
this is my wife, Peggy.
67
00:03:17,113 --> 00:03:18,080
(chuckling):
Hey...
68
00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:20,139
Didn't you used to be
one of our cheerleaders?
69
00:03:20,183 --> 00:03:21,810
(laughing):
Me? Oh, no.
70
00:03:21,851 --> 00:03:25,252
But I did go to a Cowboy's game
in 1978.
71
00:03:25,288 --> 00:03:28,155
Maybe you recognize me
from the stands.
72
00:03:28,191 --> 00:03:30,523
Dad, I changed
my mind again.
73
00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:31,857
Medium rare.
74
00:03:31,895 --> 00:03:34,489
Think fast, big guy.
75
00:03:34,530 --> 00:03:35,588
(grunts)
76
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:36,599
Listen here, buddy.
77
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:37,600
You have to catch it
78
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:38,794
out in front
with your hands,
79
00:03:38,835 --> 00:03:40,803
not try to cradle
it into your body.
80
00:03:40,837 --> 00:03:43,965
It's a little something
Billy Joe DuPree showed me.
81
00:03:44,007 --> 00:03:46,441
"Billy Joe Dupree."
82
00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:48,603
HANK:
Way to go, Bobby.
83
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:50,613
Now, you listen to
all the pointers
84
00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:51,671
this man gives you.
85
00:03:51,714 --> 00:03:53,875
He was taught about
football... and life...
86
00:03:53,917 --> 00:03:55,714
from the great
Coach Landry.
87
00:03:55,752 --> 00:03:58,516
Hey, Hank,
there's a Cowboy's game on later
88
00:03:58,554 --> 00:03:59,521
if you want to come over.
89
00:03:59,555 --> 00:04:01,785
Okay, yeah, that sounds great.
90
00:04:01,824 --> 00:04:02,916
And you can bring the guys.
91
00:04:02,959 --> 00:04:05,120
They seem pretty cool.
92
00:04:05,161 --> 00:04:07,288
See, Peggy, I told you
the guys were cool.
93
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:13,598
Run, damn it, run!
94
00:04:13,636 --> 00:04:15,729
No, don't go out of bounds!
95
00:04:15,772 --> 00:04:17,171
(sputters):
Wuss!
96
00:04:17,206 --> 00:04:19,538
Passion.
(horn blowing)
97
00:04:19,575 --> 00:04:20,542
Halftime.
98
00:04:20,576 --> 00:04:21,543
I'll grab a few brews.
99
00:04:21,577 --> 00:04:23,169
And, hey,
if we do this again,
100
00:04:23,212 --> 00:04:25,703
would you guys mind bringing
Sam Adams instead of Alamo?
101
00:04:25,748 --> 00:04:29,149
No problem. I'll just dip into
my son's college fund.
102
00:04:29,185 --> 00:04:31,585
Guys, my uniform
is too tight.
103
00:04:31,621 --> 00:04:33,589
You think Willie
would be offended
104
00:04:33,623 --> 00:04:34,590
if I took my pants off?
105
00:04:34,624 --> 00:04:36,990
Got dang it, Bill,
don't screw this up.
106
00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:41,588
Hey, you guys want to see
some stuff from my career?
107
00:04:41,631 --> 00:04:42,689
Hank, you've seen this.
108
00:04:42,732 --> 00:04:45,428
It's the football
from that kick I blocked.
109
00:04:45,468 --> 00:04:49,871
Oh... and here's a picture
from that kick I blocked.
110
00:04:49,906 --> 00:04:50,873
Hey, Willie,
111
00:04:50,907 --> 00:04:54,741
I have something I think
you'd be interested in.
112
00:04:54,777 --> 00:04:56,938
Well, who's that handsome stud?
113
00:04:56,980 --> 00:04:59,608
That's you before
the weight gain.
114
00:04:59,649 --> 00:05:00,638
Hey, Willie,
115
00:05:00,683 --> 00:05:03,345
how'd you feel about letting me
borrow your Super Bowl ring
116
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:06,412
to wear to Ladies Night
at Shananigans tomorrow?
117
00:05:06,456 --> 00:05:08,321
Bill, game room.
Now.
118
00:05:08,358 --> 00:05:11,725
Can I have some more chips,
119
00:05:11,761 --> 00:05:14,093
or would that be stepping
over the line, too?
120
00:05:14,130 --> 00:05:15,097
Five! Four!
Three! Two! One!
121
00:05:15,131 --> 00:05:17,031
We did it!
Cowboys win!
122
00:05:17,066 --> 00:05:21,298
(cheering)
(phone rings)
123
00:05:21,337 --> 00:05:23,464
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
124
00:05:23,506 --> 00:05:24,996
Cowboys win!
125
00:05:25,041 --> 00:05:26,406
Hey, Bob,
what's up, brother?
126
00:05:30,446 --> 00:05:33,347
Huh. Willie specifically said,
"Come over for the game."
127
00:05:34,784 --> 00:05:36,752
Boomhauer, are we
overstaying our welcome
128
00:05:36,786 --> 00:05:38,378
if we watch
the post game show?
129
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:41,618
Mmm. Well... toss-up, man.
130
00:05:41,657 --> 00:05:43,750
Oh, God. The post
game show's starting.
131
00:05:43,793 --> 00:05:44,760
What do we do?
132
00:05:44,794 --> 00:05:46,955
Well, it's our first time
at Willie's.
133
00:05:46,996 --> 00:05:48,964
We don't want to come on
too strong.
134
00:05:48,998 --> 00:05:49,965
Got dang,
135
00:05:49,999 --> 00:05:52,524
I think that's
Jethro Pugh.
136
00:05:52,568 --> 00:05:54,195
As God is my witness,
137
00:05:54,237 --> 00:05:56,762
if I ever get back
inside that house,
138
00:05:56,806 --> 00:05:59,468
I'm never going to leave.
139
00:05:59,509 --> 00:06:03,809
(loud music playing)
140
00:06:03,846 --> 00:06:05,905
One good thing
about other hillbillies...
141
00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:08,382
at least they all pass out
by 9:00.
142
00:06:08,418 --> 00:06:11,182
This guy need to shut up
or get stronger moonshine.
143
00:06:11,220 --> 00:06:14,712
Then call him to lower
music, but be nice.
144
00:06:14,757 --> 00:06:16,019
Maybe when we
go on vacation,
145
00:06:16,059 --> 00:06:18,254
we finally have someone
to feed your stupid fish.
146
00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:24,062
♪♪ Feel like making love
to you. ♪♪
(phone ringing)
147
00:06:24,100 --> 00:06:25,089
Rock on.
148
00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:27,261
Yes, hello, rock on.
149
00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:29,567
This Kahn Souphanousinphone,
your neighbor,
150
00:06:29,605 --> 00:06:30,970
and it's getting late.
151
00:06:31,007 --> 00:06:32,975
Would you please lower
Bad Company?
152
00:06:33,009 --> 00:06:34,772
Candy, climb on down.
153
00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:37,644
I'm going to take care
of this situation.
154
00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:39,648
Oh, Minh,
I think I'm getting somewhere.
155
00:06:39,682 --> 00:06:41,775
Now, which one are you, pardner?
156
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,048
You right across the alley?
157
00:06:44,087 --> 00:06:45,054
Yeah, that me.
158
00:06:45,088 --> 00:06:46,919
He's coming to apologize.
159
00:06:46,956 --> 00:06:47,980
That's a start.
160
00:06:48,024 --> 00:06:51,460
Right on. So, your house
has the phone cord
161
00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:53,758
running right by the side
of the house?
162
00:06:53,796 --> 00:06:56,492
Yeah, I'm not sure why
that matter, but...
163
00:06:56,532 --> 00:06:57,931
(loud static)
164
00:06:57,967 --> 00:07:00,128
♪♪ Feel like making love ♪♪
165
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:03,764
(screams):
The phone is dead.
Where my stun gun?
166
00:07:03,806 --> 00:07:07,139
WILLIE:
♪♪ Feel like making love
to you ♪♪
167
00:07:07,176 --> 00:07:09,269
Oh, my gosh, it's
almost midnight.
168
00:07:09,312 --> 00:07:12,008
♪♪ To you, and you, and you,
and you and all of you. ♪♪
169
00:07:12,048 --> 00:07:14,107
Did you move back
the curfew in your
block charter?
170
00:07:14,150 --> 00:07:16,118
Because that would
be very sexy.
171
00:07:16,152 --> 00:07:17,119
Well, sorry to be a tease,
172
00:07:17,153 --> 00:07:19,246
but I just made
a one-time exemption.
173
00:07:19,288 --> 00:07:22,280
Really? Then I want the fine
rescinded from my game night.
174
00:07:22,325 --> 00:07:24,293
Well, Peggy,
the appeals process...
175
00:07:24,327 --> 00:07:25,294
Oh, my God.
176
00:07:25,328 --> 00:07:28,354
Kahn's hassling Willie.
177
00:07:33,002 --> 00:07:35,163
Uh-oh, you in for it now,
big boy.
178
00:07:35,204 --> 00:07:37,672
The Block Captain
never stand for nonsense.
179
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,870
Hank, he cut
my phone cable.
180
00:07:40,910 --> 00:07:41,934
Yeah, right.
181
00:07:41,978 --> 00:07:43,070
You're... dumb.
182
00:07:43,112 --> 00:07:45,706
Kahn, please tell me you're
not going to run over here
183
00:07:45,748 --> 00:07:49,047
and blame Willie every time
a phone call gets disconnected.
184
00:07:49,085 --> 00:07:50,609
WILLIE:
Right on, Double-H.
185
00:07:50,653 --> 00:07:51,620
Right on.
186
00:07:51,654 --> 00:07:52,882
I am not lying!
187
00:07:52,922 --> 00:07:54,890
Now listen,
you make my family follow
188
00:07:54,924 --> 00:07:56,357
your stupid rules all the time.
189
00:07:56,392 --> 00:07:58,917
So shut down
this jock ball.
190
00:07:58,961 --> 00:08:00,519
It's a school night.
191
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:03,657
Hey, Double-H, I'll bet
a Cowboy fan like you
192
00:08:03,699 --> 00:08:07,760
would love to meet
Roger Staubach's pool cleaner.
193
00:08:07,803 --> 00:08:09,100
He's in there? Now?
194
00:08:09,138 --> 00:08:11,698
Well, yeah,
he's a buddy of mine.
195
00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:12,833
Come on in and meet him.
196
00:08:12,875 --> 00:08:15,605
Uh... I wouldn't know
what to say.
197
00:08:15,645 --> 00:08:17,408
He's very easy
to talk to.
198
00:08:17,446 --> 00:08:19,937
Now, get on in there.
199
00:08:19,982 --> 00:08:21,643
Hank, I need you!
200
00:08:21,684 --> 00:08:23,174
Hank...
201
00:08:23,219 --> 00:08:25,517
(whimpering):
Block Captain.
202
00:08:35,498 --> 00:08:36,760
I cannot
believe
203
00:08:36,799 --> 00:08:39,290
you met Roger
Staubach's
pool cleaner.
204
00:08:39,335 --> 00:08:41,428
Yup. We played foosball.
205
00:08:41,470 --> 00:08:42,437
He's a great guy.
206
00:08:42,471 --> 00:08:44,439
Just a regular guy,
I tell you what.
207
00:08:44,473 --> 00:08:45,701
KAHN:
Hey, Hank Hill,
208
00:08:45,741 --> 00:08:46,730
I gave your
block charter
209
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:47,970
to Connie to
take to school
210
00:08:48,010 --> 00:08:49,910
for report on hypocrisy.
211
00:08:49,946 --> 00:08:55,714
She get an "A,"
and teacher call you a monster.
212
00:08:55,751 --> 00:08:56,775
So what kind
of haircut
213
00:08:56,819 --> 00:08:58,514
did the pool
cleaner have, huh?
214
00:08:58,554 --> 00:09:01,387
Was he a redhead?
I'm picturing
a redhead.
215
00:09:01,424 --> 00:09:03,790
Willie's giving me
some blocking lessons later.
216
00:09:03,826 --> 00:09:06,124
He says I'd make
a great lineman,
217
00:09:06,162 --> 00:09:07,493
like he was.
218
00:09:07,530 --> 00:09:10,522
My son is getting a clinic
from a Dallas Cowboy.
219
00:09:10,566 --> 00:09:13,364
I've always said you had
a lot of untapped bulk.
220
00:09:13,402 --> 00:09:16,098
I'm going to do a push-up!
221
00:09:16,138 --> 00:09:19,232
WILLIE:
Which one of you
sports fans wants
222
00:09:19,275 --> 00:09:22,972
to give old Willie
a ride to work?
223
00:09:23,012 --> 00:09:24,309
How about you, Double H?
224
00:09:24,347 --> 00:09:25,405
Excuse me, guys.
225
00:09:25,448 --> 00:09:28,679
Official Cowboy business.
226
00:09:41,731 --> 00:09:43,096
And that's how
I blocked that kick.
227
00:09:43,132 --> 00:09:45,692
That story gets better
every time you tell it.
228
00:09:45,735 --> 00:09:47,703
Hey, thanks for the lift
to work.
229
00:09:47,737 --> 00:09:50,069
I'm probably still legally drunk
from my party.
230
00:09:50,106 --> 00:09:51,073
(sighs)
231
00:09:51,107 --> 00:09:52,267
Yeah, uh, you know, Willie,
232
00:09:52,308 --> 00:09:55,402
I've been meaning to talk to you
about that party.
233
00:09:55,444 --> 00:09:57,412
Uh, I know
you haven't had a chance
234
00:09:57,446 --> 00:09:58,811
to read the block charter yet,
235
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:01,442
but, uh, it did go on
a little late.
236
00:10:01,484 --> 00:10:03,782
I hear you, chief.
237
00:10:03,819 --> 00:10:06,049
But it's hard for me
to go to bars.
238
00:10:06,088 --> 00:10:07,055
There's always one guy
239
00:10:07,089 --> 00:10:09,057
who wants to prove
how tough he is
240
00:10:09,091 --> 00:10:11,389
by taking on
an ex-football player.
241
00:10:11,427 --> 00:10:13,019
That's why I party at home.
242
00:10:13,062 --> 00:10:16,054
If I get in a fight,
at least it's with a friend.
243
00:10:16,098 --> 00:10:17,087
Very responsible.
244
00:10:17,133 --> 00:10:19,966
Hey, Hank,
you're a big Cowboy fan.
245
00:10:20,002 --> 00:10:23,062
How would you like to buy
Deion Sander's truck?
246
00:10:23,105 --> 00:10:26,131
I'll give you
the "friend's price."
247
00:10:26,175 --> 00:10:27,142
Oh, wow.
248
00:10:27,176 --> 00:10:29,076
Well, l-I mean, it's
a great opportunity,
249
00:10:29,111 --> 00:10:31,136
but I don't really
need another truck.
250
00:10:31,180 --> 00:10:33,444
Hank, thanks for the lift.
251
00:10:33,482 --> 00:10:34,574
Rock on.
252
00:10:34,617 --> 00:10:36,448
Rock on.
253
00:10:36,485 --> 00:10:38,009
(chuckles)
254
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:40,386
WILLIE:
Hurry, Switzer.
255
00:10:40,423 --> 00:10:43,085
You can do it.
256
00:10:43,125 --> 00:10:44,319
There you go.
257
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:45,327
Uh...
258
00:10:45,361 --> 00:10:46,350
Willie, I know
259
00:10:46,395 --> 00:10:48,124
Kahn's a pain in the neck,
260
00:10:48,164 --> 00:10:51,930
but this isn't really how
we do things around here,
261
00:10:51,967 --> 00:10:54,367
and even Kahn
never walks his dog
262
00:10:54,403 --> 00:10:56,098
on anybody else's lawn.
263
00:10:56,138 --> 00:10:57,332
I hear you, brother.
264
00:10:57,373 --> 00:10:59,364
I just lost my
head for a second.
265
00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:00,875
Oh, dang.
266
00:11:00,910 --> 00:11:02,468
I forgot my baggie.
267
00:11:02,511 --> 00:11:05,309
I'll run home
and grab one.
268
00:11:05,348 --> 00:11:06,315
Come on, Switzer.
269
00:11:06,349 --> 00:11:07,316
Come on, girl.
270
00:11:07,350 --> 00:11:13,448
PEGGY:
Hank, how much
271
00:11:13,489 --> 00:11:14,581
longer are you going to stare
272
00:11:14,623 --> 00:11:17,091
at that big pile
of dog droppings?
273
00:11:17,126 --> 00:11:18,525
Not much longer.
274
00:11:18,561 --> 00:11:20,756
It's only been
a couple of hours.
275
00:11:20,796 --> 00:11:22,821
I'm sure he
just forgot.
276
00:11:22,865 --> 00:11:24,492
(sighs)
277
00:11:24,533 --> 00:11:28,469
I guess I'll just
go pick it up myself.
278
00:11:28,504 --> 00:11:33,532
(Dale humming)
279
00:11:33,576 --> 00:11:35,635
Hey, Hank, Willie called me
280
00:11:35,678 --> 00:11:38,613
and asked me
to give him a ride home
281
00:11:38,647 --> 00:11:42,208
and to thank me,
he gave me
282
00:11:42,251 --> 00:11:43,377
the "friend's price"
283
00:11:43,419 --> 00:11:48,186
on Cowboy legend Deion
"Prime Time" Sanders' Hyundai.
284
00:11:48,224 --> 00:11:50,192
Now, help me push it
into my garage.
285
00:11:50,226 --> 00:11:54,959
Dad, check out
what Willie taught me.
286
00:11:54,997 --> 00:11:56,225
(groans)
287
00:11:56,265 --> 00:11:59,428
Now who's your daddy, huh?
288
00:11:59,468 --> 00:12:01,333
Big Willie Lane!
289
00:12:01,370 --> 00:12:04,533
Bobby, what
are you doing?
290
00:12:04,573 --> 00:12:05,801
That's cheating.
291
00:12:05,841 --> 00:12:09,004
Willie says
it ain't cheating
292
00:12:09,044 --> 00:12:12,172
if you don't get caught.
293
00:12:12,214 --> 00:12:14,114
That's not true.
294
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:17,950
Well, what the heck
happened here?
295
00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:22,151
Your new pig-headed,
jock friend dug holes in my lawn.
296
00:12:22,191 --> 00:12:23,158
(sighs)
297
00:12:23,192 --> 00:12:25,319
Lawn-scape assault is
in clear violation
298
00:12:25,361 --> 00:12:27,261
of article nine
of the charter.
299
00:12:27,296 --> 00:12:28,194
(sighs)
300
00:12:28,230 --> 00:12:29,197
This ends today.
301
00:12:29,231 --> 00:12:34,760
Mister, you
are out of control,
302
00:12:34,804 --> 00:12:36,567
and it's time
you get in line.
303
00:12:36,605 --> 00:12:38,573
You know, I used to think
you were a cool guy.
304
00:12:38,607 --> 00:12:43,510
I can be very cool when someone
follows our neighborhood guidelines.
305
00:12:43,546 --> 00:12:44,513
Now get over there
306
00:12:44,547 --> 00:12:46,640
and start helping
Kahn fill those holes.
307
00:12:57,593 --> 00:13:00,221
You know, Hank, you seem
to have a lot of spirit.
308
00:13:00,262 --> 00:13:02,127
How would you like a pep rally?
309
00:13:02,164 --> 00:13:04,496
Hey, we could make a bonfire!
310
00:13:04,533 --> 00:13:08,629
No, don't...
Stop that!
311
00:13:08,671 --> 00:13:15,304
(sighs):
All right, that does it!
312
00:13:15,344 --> 00:13:17,073
(laughing)
313
00:13:17,112 --> 00:13:19,672
So these guys started a fire
in the alley
314
00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:23,617
and tore some planks
off my fence.
315
00:13:23,652 --> 00:13:25,916
You do realize that
this is a felony.
316
00:13:30,693 --> 00:13:31,682
Sweet Betty,
317
00:13:31,727 --> 00:13:33,922
that's a Super Bowl ring!
318
00:13:33,963 --> 00:13:36,056
McMurtry, get your keister
over here.
319
00:13:36,098 --> 00:13:37,497
I'm Willie Lane.
320
00:13:37,533 --> 00:13:39,501
It's nice to
meet you officers.
321
00:13:39,535 --> 00:13:42,095
This is the guy who
blocked that kick.
322
00:13:42,137 --> 00:13:44,503
Uh, Officers Brown
and McMurtry,
323
00:13:44,540 --> 00:13:46,565
there's the matter
of the fire here...
324
00:13:46,609 --> 00:13:48,941
Hey, let me try
that Super Bowl
ring on, will you?
325
00:13:48,978 --> 00:13:54,075
Last time that thing was off
was 500 beers ago.
326
00:13:54,116 --> 00:13:55,083
(laughs)
327
00:13:55,117 --> 00:13:56,084
Officers, uh, about the fire.
328
00:13:56,118 --> 00:13:58,086
Willie, you didn't start
this fire, did you?
329
00:13:58,120 --> 00:13:59,087
He probably did it,
330
00:13:59,121 --> 00:14:03,922
and now he's trying
to pin it on me.
331
00:14:03,959 --> 00:14:06,894
You guys can't possibly
believe him. The man...
332
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:07,896
Enough out
of you.
333
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:08,897
Now get back inside
334
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:10,660
and stop hassling
Big Willie.
335
00:14:10,699 --> 00:14:15,932
Hey, if we kicked
a few footballs,
336
00:14:15,971 --> 00:14:18,940
could you block 'em?
337
00:14:18,974 --> 00:14:24,207
All right,
you snap and kick.
338
00:14:24,246 --> 00:14:26,271
(cheering)
339
00:14:30,619 --> 00:14:32,644
Dad, can I have a
ride to the store?
340
00:14:32,688 --> 00:14:33,950
Willie borrowed my bike
341
00:14:33,989 --> 00:14:36,321
and seems
to have lost track of it.
342
00:14:36,358 --> 00:14:37,325
Chug! Chug! Chug!
343
00:14:37,359 --> 00:14:42,058
You know, for a guy
who was a pro athlete,
Willie's drunk a lot.
344
00:14:42,097 --> 00:14:43,792
(sighs):
Yeah, I know, Bobby.
345
00:14:43,832 --> 00:14:46,528
Have you thought about where
we're going to move to?
346
00:14:46,569 --> 00:14:49,060
I heard Tampa's nice.
347
00:14:49,104 --> 00:14:50,662
We're not moving anywhere.
348
00:14:50,706 --> 00:14:54,472
(men shouting)
349
00:14:54,510 --> 00:15:02,383
I got you in my sights.
350
00:15:02,418 --> 00:15:08,379
I'm going to pack,
just in case.
351
00:15:11,627 --> 00:15:12,924
Hank?
352
00:15:12,962 --> 00:15:14,452
Kahn,
353
00:15:14,496 --> 00:15:16,327
I'm sorry
I didn't believe you.
354
00:15:16,365 --> 00:15:19,823
No man should have to live
to see this done to his lawn.
355
00:15:19,868 --> 00:15:21,961
So I was thinking
we could work together
356
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:23,198
to get rid of Willie.
357
00:15:23,238 --> 00:15:25,229
I talked to my
father-in-law last night.
358
00:15:25,274 --> 00:15:27,708
He knows a guy who
will do it for 5,000.
359
00:15:27,743 --> 00:15:30,337
Kahn, I'll only operate
within the confines
360
00:15:30,379 --> 00:15:32,506
of state law
and the block charter.
361
00:15:32,548 --> 00:15:34,516
DALE:
Incoming!
362
00:15:36,318 --> 00:15:37,342
You sure about this?
363
00:15:37,386 --> 00:15:39,684
Because maybe we
can get hitman to throw in Gribble
364
00:15:39,722 --> 00:15:41,713
as freebie.
365
00:15:49,398 --> 00:15:52,925
We mow in two minutes, Kahn.
366
00:15:53,936 --> 00:15:55,801
What do you think
you're doing?
367
00:15:55,838 --> 00:15:57,863
Willie's sleeping
off a hangover.
368
00:15:57,906 --> 00:15:59,897
That's exactly
what I figured.
369
00:15:59,942 --> 00:16:01,876
Kahn and I are going
to fire up our mowers
370
00:16:01,910 --> 00:16:04,242
every day at 7:00 a.m.,
371
00:16:04,279 --> 00:16:07,544
the earliest time for mowing
permitted in the block charter.
372
00:16:07,583 --> 00:16:09,813
Eventually it'll drive
that hungover bastard
373
00:16:09,852 --> 00:16:11,342
off the block.
374
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:14,618
Over Bill's bruised
and lacerated body, you will.
375
00:16:14,657 --> 00:16:16,625
Lay down in front
of the mower, Bill.
376
00:16:16,659 --> 00:16:18,024
Okay.
377
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,493
What happened to you guys?
378
00:16:19,528 --> 00:16:20,825
Bill, don't you remember
379
00:16:20,863 --> 00:16:22,831
when this was
the kind of neighborhood
380
00:16:22,865 --> 00:16:24,833
where you could leave
your door unlocked at night,
381
00:16:24,867 --> 00:16:26,892
and no one would steal
your refrigerator?
382
00:16:26,935 --> 00:16:28,835
I've been keeping my food
in the tub.
383
00:16:28,871 --> 00:16:31,965
And Dale, you believed
in the block charter so strongly
384
00:16:32,007 --> 00:16:34,168
you signed it
with your real name.
385
00:16:34,209 --> 00:16:37,144
It's the only time
I've ever done that.
386
00:16:37,179 --> 00:16:42,708
Gentlemen, it is a new morning
on Rainey Street.
387
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:56,598
(engines roaring)
388
00:16:56,632 --> 00:17:03,470
(snarls, barks)
389
00:17:05,574 --> 00:17:06,563
It's not working.
390
00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:08,166
Time for Plan B.
391
00:17:08,210 --> 00:17:09,472
There's a plan B?
392
00:17:09,511 --> 00:17:15,006
We didn't tell you
for your own protection.
393
00:17:16,719 --> 00:17:19,517
They wouldn't dare have
their basket-bottle tournament
394
00:17:19,555 --> 00:17:22,115
with Deion Sanders' car
in the way.
395
00:17:22,157 --> 00:17:24,955
They were going to make me dance
during halftime.
396
00:17:24,993 --> 00:17:26,358
WILLIE:
We can't play
bottle donkey
397
00:17:26,395 --> 00:17:29,558
with that car in our court.
398
00:17:29,598 --> 00:17:30,860
WILLIE:
Hey, Fitzy,
399
00:17:30,899 --> 00:17:35,962
Tom, Tommy, Jack, Joe, Bear!
400
00:17:36,605 --> 00:17:38,698
HANK:
Oh, what the?
401
00:17:38,741 --> 00:17:43,542
DALE:
Deion's car!
402
00:17:45,414 --> 00:17:47,041
BILL (gasping):
Hank, your lawn!
403
00:17:47,082 --> 00:17:49,414
I know, Bill, I know,
404
00:17:49,451 --> 00:17:52,181
but I think Willie just tossed
his last car
405
00:17:52,221 --> 00:17:56,555
on his last neighbor's lawn.
406
00:17:56,592 --> 00:17:59,720
Why would I tip a car
over on my own lawn?
407
00:17:59,762 --> 00:18:01,093
I don't know.
408
00:18:01,130 --> 00:18:02,358
It puzzles me.
409
00:18:02,397 --> 00:18:04,092
But Willie says
he didn't do it,
410
00:18:04,133 --> 00:18:06,601
and we have no evidence that
proves otherwise.
411
00:18:06,635 --> 00:18:08,193
OFFICER:
Uh, Willie, this here's
412
00:18:08,237 --> 00:18:10,762
Officers Collins
and Winchell.
413
00:18:10,806 --> 00:18:11,670
(chuckling)
414
00:18:11,707 --> 00:18:12,901
They're off duty
415
00:18:12,941 --> 00:18:14,772
but came by because
they wanted to meet you.
416
00:18:14,810 --> 00:18:16,437
Could we check out
that Super Bowl ring?
417
00:18:16,478 --> 00:18:18,036
WILLIE (chuckling):
This little old thing?
418
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:19,138
Sure.
419
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:20,546
Hey! Let's take
a group picture.
420
00:18:20,582 --> 00:18:26,384
McMurtry, grab
the Polaroid.
421
00:18:26,421 --> 00:18:30,414
Hey, I used to have
a camera like that.
422
00:18:30,459 --> 00:18:32,290
It must have gotten lost
in the move.
423
00:18:32,327 --> 00:18:35,160
Well, here,
take this one.
424
00:18:35,197 --> 00:18:36,129
POLICE DISPATCH:
All units,
425
00:18:36,165 --> 00:18:40,033
310 in progress
at 250 Arroyo Grande.
426
00:18:40,068 --> 00:18:43,196
Please respond.
427
00:18:43,939 --> 00:18:47,602
Heh! Little help.
428
00:18:47,643 --> 00:18:49,543
(frustrated growl)
429
00:18:49,578 --> 00:18:52,479
Help?! I help you get
the hell out of my neighborhood,
430
00:18:52,514 --> 00:18:56,041
you big fat, muscle-headed load
of rat-jackal-pig-dog-waste!
431
00:18:58,921 --> 00:19:00,513
You just called me a pig?
432
00:19:00,556 --> 00:19:02,683
Oh, you don't like that?
433
00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:05,158
Well, I don't care anymore!
434
00:19:05,194 --> 00:19:06,161
I don't sleep.
435
00:19:06,195 --> 00:19:08,163
My career is going
in the toilet.
436
00:19:08,197 --> 00:19:09,164
My little girl
can't study.
437
00:19:09,198 --> 00:19:11,325
And all because
some fat, jock slob
438
00:19:11,366 --> 00:19:14,199
play a little football
and block a kick!
439
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:15,203
I don't even know
what it means
440
00:19:15,237 --> 00:19:16,295
to block a kick,
441
00:19:16,338 --> 00:19:19,432
but if you can do it,
then any idiot can do it!
442
00:19:19,474 --> 00:19:21,135
HANK:
Back off.
443
00:19:21,176 --> 00:19:24,304
We don't fight on this block.
444
00:19:24,346 --> 00:19:27,873
(groans)
445
00:19:27,916 --> 00:19:30,817
Kill him, Hank!
Bill's got your back!
446
00:19:30,853 --> 00:19:31,820
No, Dale.
447
00:19:31,854 --> 00:19:33,822
If I hit him back,
it's a fight.
448
00:19:33,856 --> 00:19:35,414
Right now,
it's assault.
449
00:19:35,457 --> 00:19:37,687
Ain't nobody going
to believe you, chief.
450
00:19:37,726 --> 00:19:39,523
Bear, you see me hit this guy?
451
00:19:39,561 --> 00:19:42,496
Yeah. L-I mean, no.
He-he tried to rob you.
452
00:19:42,531 --> 00:19:44,328
Oh, you did so hit Hank.
453
00:19:44,366 --> 00:19:45,924
Just look at his poor face.
454
00:19:45,968 --> 00:19:46,935
A big bruise
455
00:19:46,969 --> 00:19:49,437
and the words
"sallad syobwoc." Huh?
456
00:19:49,471 --> 00:19:55,967
That's weird.
457
00:19:57,512 --> 00:19:59,412
Looks like Willie
just hung himself.
458
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:02,884
Kahn, take a picture.
459
00:20:02,918 --> 00:20:04,647
Good thinking, Hank.
460
00:20:04,686 --> 00:20:14,857
Now we got evidence.
461
00:20:14,897 --> 00:20:16,592
Dale, put it in
your wall safe!
462
00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:22,593
DALE:
Squirrel tactic!
463
00:20:32,547 --> 00:20:33,946
Now, listen here.
464
00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:36,849
No one else in this town
has a Super Bowl ring,
465
00:20:36,885 --> 00:20:39,319
so that picture
is proof of assault.
466
00:20:39,354 --> 00:20:40,480
Assault? It...
467
00:20:40,522 --> 00:20:44,754
Willie can't afford
another assault charge, pardner.
468
00:20:44,793 --> 00:20:46,624
That'd be totally uncool.
469
00:20:46,662 --> 00:20:49,153
Then you've got two weeks
to get out of that house
470
00:20:49,197 --> 00:20:50,687
and off our block.
471
00:20:50,732 --> 00:20:52,791
I'm gonna need more time
than that.
472
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:56,099
The charter clearly states
that when a neighbor is deposed,
473
00:20:56,138 --> 00:20:58,333
they get two weeks
to get off the block.
474
00:20:58,373 --> 00:21:02,469
And that's all
you're getting.
475
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:16,984
Thank you, Hank Hill.
476
00:21:17,025 --> 00:21:18,322
Here.
477
00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:18,655
Yep.
478
00:21:18,694 --> 00:21:19,661
Yep.
479
00:21:19,695 --> 00:21:20,662
Yep.
480
00:21:20,696 --> 00:21:23,995
Mm-hmm.
481
00:21:24,032 --> 00:21:27,433
In my experience,
a lot of people say
they gonna hit you,
482
00:21:27,469 --> 00:21:28,697
but not many actually do it.
483
00:22:06,775 --> 00:22:07,901
HANK:
Rock on.
484
00:22:07,943 --> 00:22:11,638
KAHN: Yes, hello, rock on.
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