Original subtitles

MARY ALICE: Previously on Desperate Housewives.

Susan made a decision.

I'm going to sell this house,

and move back up there with you and help raise the baby.

Karen's health took a turn for the worse.

Looks like the cancer's spreading faster than anyone thought.

Ben was summoned before the court.

You're on the witness list for Bree's trial?

Bree's friends cautioned her.

You have a crush on your lawyer.

You're on trial for murder, Bree. You gotta keep a clear head.

And so does he.

Lynette ended her relationship with Tom's boss.

She dumped me. Apparently she's hung up on some other guy.

And this led...

You really suck at this gay friend thing.

I can't take you seriously in that dress.

To an unfortunate misunderstanding.

Karen McCluskey had never been sure what her neighbors thought of her.

Did they see her as merely a babysitter,

an entertaining source for gossip,

or just the mean old lady who lived down the street?

But for the first time in her life,

she found herself thinking about such things.

Because she knew that her life

was coming to an end.

Roy, it's time to go.

What's going on, Karen?

(VOICE BREAKS) I'm, uh, starting hospice care.

I thought you told the doctors that you wanted to...

Croak at home? Yeah, I did.

But the oncologist is convinced this is for the best.

What does he know?

Young quack thinks I can't take care of my wife.

KAREN: He's worried about you, Roy.

You've got high blood pressure, angina.

I'm racing you to the grave as it is. I don't want to push you in.

This was supposed to have been my time with you.

And those bastards are robbing me of it.

I know.

Hang on. Karen, would you prefer to die at home?

Well, sure, but...

Then we'll take care of you.

Yeah. We can do it.

We'll take shifts. It won't be hard.

Whoa, Nellie.

This is sweet, but you gals have troubles of your own.

Bree's got her trial, Lynette's marriage is falling apart,

Gabby, those kids of yours are turning into serial killers before our very eyes.

Okay. I'm not gonna argue with you because you're sick, and totally correct,

but I'm with the girls on this. Let us take care of you.

I'm gonna require a lot of care, you know?

We know. And we're gonna be there for you.

Hey! Boy nurses!

Bring the stuff back in the house. She's staying!

Come on. Let's go help.

Okay.

I'm actually speechless. I don't know why you're all doing this.

Don't you?

MARY ALICE: Yes, Mrs. McCluskey

had wondered what her neighbors thought of her.

She was pleased to discover, after all these years,

they thought of her as a friend.

The town of Fairview had been rocked by scandal.

(ALL CLAMORING)

A housewife had been accused of murder.

And her trial was growing more sensational each day.

It truly was all anyone was talking about.

Which is exactly what another housewife was worried about.

CARLOS: Gabby!

Ah, there you are.

Yep. Just sitting here on the porch reading the old sports section.

You hate sports. And reading.

But I love you. And you love sports.

So I've started to really get into it.

Really? What's your favorite basketball team?

The Turtles.

What the hell is this?

It's nothing.

You said the trial was going well.

It was. It is. This is just a setback.

Damn it! Gabby, how many setbacks is it going to take

before Bree goes to prison for something I did?

Hey, Lee! Sports talk. It's getting a little heated over here!

(CHUCKLES)

I can't do this anymore, Gabby. I have got to step up.

Are you crazy? No.

How do you not feel guilty about this?

I do! Every second of every day!

We just have to hold on a little longer.

Bree says Trip knows what he's doing, so we've just got to give him a chance.

Yeah, I don't know. I think...

Turning yourself in now would just be foolish.

You'd be throwing your whole life away, abandoning our family, and for what?

To prove a point about what an honorable guy you are?

Please. Let's just see how this plays out.

Okay.

But if things get any worse, I'll have no choice.

(SIGHS)

Lee, no!

What? Stop!

Don't tell me you've changed your mind.

No, I still want to sell.

Okay, thank God. 'Cause I've already spent my commission.

On what?

Isn't it obvious? I had some personal renovations done.

My ass! I had my ass lifted!

Oh! Um...

Of course. How did I not notice?

That is one perky fanny.

(LAUGHS)

I'm sorry. I've never been good with ass compliments.

So why don't you want the sign up?

Well, (SIGHS)

I haven't told the girls I'm moving yet.

Why not?

I don't know. (SIGHS)

Maybe because I can't even believe I'm doing it myself.

It's always hard to move.

Yeah.

Putting my house on the market in the middle of Bree's trial,

I mean, I just feel like a bad person.

Okay, the fact that you're worried about your friends

shows that you're not a bad person.

By the way, if Bree gets convicted,

do you think she'll put her place on the market?

Lee!

And if Lynette gets divorced,

that house is going to be way too big for her.

Wow!

It kind of smacked me back.

(CELL PHONE RINGING)

Hello.

She's gone!

Hey, Penny. What's going on? Where are you?

Dad's. Did you hear me? Jane's gone.

Whoa. Whoa. She's gone meaning she's not there right now,

or she's "gone" gone?

Her stuff is moved out.

Even her toothbrush, Mom. They broke up.

Oh, my... Hang on.

(GASPS) Your dad's on the other line!

Call me back!

Okay! Stay calm!

I am.

I was talking to me! Hey, Tom. What's up?

Hey. Are you going to be around tonight?

Uh... I don't know. Maybe. Probably. Yeah. Why?

I need to talk to you about something, and I'd like to do it face-to-face.

Okay. What time?

How about 8:00?

8:00? 8:00 is my favorite time.

What? Why?

I don't know. It just always has been. You know, 8:00 is great.

You okay?

Me? Yeah, I'm just cleaning the oven

and the fumes are getting to me and I'm drunk. A little.

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

So I'll see you tonight?

Okay, bye.

Okay. Bye. Yeah!

(GIGGLES)

Thank you.

Yeah, well, don't thank me just yet.

Bree, I don't know exactly what Ben is going to testify about,

but if it's as damning as the prosecution seems to think it is...

You don't have to worry about Ben.

If his testimony is damaging in any way,

I'm gonna have to put Gabby back on the stand.

No!

The dead guy was her stepfather. She has some connection to this.

Absolutely not.

I'm the client. You're the lawyer. You have to do what I say.

It's your call.

But I've got to tell you, you're forcing me to try this thing

with one hand tied behind my back.

Well, luckily, you have more talent in that one hand

than most lawyers have in their whole body.

You can do this. I know you can.

Mr. Faulkner, I am ordering you to answer.

Ms. Stone, repeat your question.

During your phone conversation with the defendant,

she thanked you for protecting her.

What was she referring to?

I'm sorry, I really don't remember the conversation.

Maybe this will refresh your memory.

Your Honor? Go ahead.

BREE: I know. But even when suspicion moved onto you,

you still protected me and that's very honorable.

BEN: Really, it was no big deal.

BREE: Maybe not to you.

You're not the one who put a body in the ground.

You have to understand, a day doesn't go by

when that does not weigh heavily on my conscience.

So, what were you protecting her from?

Again, sir, I'm ordering you to answer the prosecutor's questions.

All right. I've had enough. You're in contempt.

Bailiff, take Mr. Faulkner into custody.

Perhaps a night in jail will help him to see things differently.

Can I at least make a call?

One call. We're in recess.

So they're arresting him? What happens now?

They'll bring him back tomorrow,

the D.A. will ask the same question again.

And what if he still doesn't answer?

Frankly, Bree, I'm more worried if he does.

(GASPS)

Oh, my goodness, Renee. You startled me. Is everything all right?

No, it's not. I just got a phone call from Ben. He's in jail.

I know. I am deeply sorry for this whole mess.

Do you want to come inside?

I'm really not in the mood for tea and biscuits.

Ben and I are getting married next week,

and "correctional facility" isn't exactly my dream venue.

I wish there were something I could do.

There is. Ben is sitting in that jail cell right now

and I don't even know why, and he won't tell me.

So you have to fix this.

Just release him from whatever promise he made you.

Believe me, I wish I could do that, but I can't.

Why not?

I just can't.

Bree, did you kill that man?

Of course not. How could you even think that?

(SIGHS)

I'll apologize once someone starts telling me the truth.

(SIGHS)

Okay, let's get those lips a little more glossy.

All right, enough, enough!

I'm meeting with Tom, not prepping for a shift at a bordello.

Yeah, but you're finally getting back together.

You gotta look perfect.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh! And we still have time for that Brazilian bikini wax.

If you mention that again, I will strike you.

(CAR DOOR SLAMS)

What the hell?

(GASPS)

(WHISPERS) It's Tom!

You said 8:00!

He said 8:00! I need to be alone with him. You have to hide.

Hide? Yes!

What if you guys start doing it right here?

I can't listen to that. Well, maybe I could.

Hide, hide! Put your fingers in your ears! Go on.

Hey, (GIGGLES) you're early.

Yeah, sorry. You going somewhere?

No. No, I was just... No.

It's fine, Lynette, I understand. You got a life. (CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES) No. No, I really don't.

Come on in. You want a drink or something?

No, thanks. I'll just be a minute.

Come in!

Tom?

I'm filing the divorce papers tomorrow.

You're what?

We just got to get out of this gray area that we've been stuck in.

It's time for both of us to move to the next phase.

I just wanted to tell you in person.

That's all I really have to say.

Aren't you going after him?

Why not?

Because now I know.

Jane wasn't the problem. It's me.

He doesn't want to be married to me.

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

I guess we can both agree,

orange is not my color.

Look, I'm sorry I missed the cake tasting, sweetheart.

I mean, did you maybe bring one of them with you?

Preferably with a file in it?

Really? You're making jokes?

Hang in there, darling. The trial can't last forever.

They got to let me out of here sometime.

Or you could answer their questions and get out now.

Nah. It's not how I'm built.

Ben, you have no idea how long this could go on.

Am I gonna need to cancel our wedding?

No! They got no motive, no weapon.

And Bree's alibi is solid.

She was with all of you at that progressive dinner party.

Wait, that was the night of the murder?

Yeah. Why?

Oh, my God!

Renee, what is it?

(SIGHS)

Um...

I remember something about that night.

I was looking out my window and it was late.

And I saw Bree getting out of her car.

Enjoy your visit, Ms. Perry?

I'm sorry, do I know you?

Emily Stone. I'm the prosecutor in Bree Van De Kamp's case.

I don't have anything to say to you.

I think you do.

You have something to say about the night of the murder.

Back there, when you were talking to your fiance, we heard every word.

You can't do that.

There's no expectation of privacy in jail. So let's talk.

I'm not gonna help you try to convict my friend.

That's a shame. Because if you don't,

I call Immigration and Mr. Faulkner's on a one-way flight back to Sydney.

Ready to talk now?

Mr. Faulkner, how are you today?

All good, yeah. Refreshed.

I asked you yesterday if you were willing to discuss

your telephone conversation with the defendant.

I remember. Still won't answer.

Look, can we just save everyone some time and send me back to jail?

Bailiff, remove Mr. Faulkner. We'll see you back here tomorrow.

Your Honor, the prosecution calls Renee Perry to the stand.

Renee?

Renee, what are you doing?

Renee!

I was lying in bed when a noise from the street woke me up.

It was about (SIGHS) 3:00 a.m.,

so I got up and I went to the window.

And what did you see?

I saw Bree.

Her clothes were kind of muddy, leaves in her hair.

(SIGHS) She was walking up her driveway.

Was she carrying anything?

(SIGHS) Yes.

What was she carrying?

A shovel.

No further questions.

Renee, what did you just do?

I did what I had to do. I told the truth.

What you said in there could really hurt Bree.

Do you not understand what's at stake here?

Friends aren't supposed to turn on each other.

Oh! So I'm one of the friends now?

What is that supposed to mean?

All year long, you've been keeping a secret from me.

Hey, just so we're clear, I didn't want to testify against Bree.

The D.A. was going to have Ben deported.

Well, so, yeah, I picked the man I love over you.

And judging by the way you guys have treated me,

I made the right choice.

Trip. Trip! That was bad.

Not out here.

(DOOR OPENS)

I need the room.

But the judge asked me to...

Get out! Okay.

Did you see their faces?

Whose faces?

The jurors.

I've been watching them.

After Renee's little story,

no one on that jury is buying what you're selling.

What about you?

I don't know, Bree.

You haven't told me the truth yet.

Twice I've been blindsided because I don't know what the hell is going on.

You need to tell me what happened that night.

I made a promise to my friends.

You're gonna lose. Do you understand that?

You are going to go to prison.

You're scaring me.

Good! You should be scared.

You're throwing your life away, and it pisses me off.

'Cause this affects more than just you.

I don't understand.

Look, I'm saying that you were wrong before.

You're not just my client, and I'm not just your lawyer.

I'm also somebody who really...

The hell with it.

It was Carlos.

(MOANS)

You have to promise me not to use this against him or anyone else.

Tell me everything.

It was self-defense.

Alejandro broke into her house,

and then Gabby came home and he started to attack her.

This gem just came on the market,

and as you can see, it's a warm, cozy, homey place.

And don't worry, they're taking the furniture.

I just love your kitchen.

Thank you.

Can't tell you how many mornings I've sat here,

looking out on the lane, having a cup of... Gabby!

Gabby?

Gabby. Who I haven't told I'm moving yet.

(INHALES SHARPLY)

Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Newman, let me show you the upstairs.

No, we're not done looking down here!

But the upstairs is way better.

It's that much closer to heaven. Come on. Go, go.

Hey!

Hi! How's it going?

Great. It was my turn to take care of Mrs. McCluskey,

so, obviously, I've been drinking.

Can you take me to the courthouse? Sure.

(THUD OVERHEAD) Someone upstairs?

Nope.

MRS. NEWMAN: Look at this closet space!

Just some old friends from high school.

MR. NEWMAN: Are these low-flow toilets?

Who are very eco-friendly.

So I should get back to them. I'll pick you up at noon.

Hey. Great place you have here.

Um... Gabby, these are my good friends, Fred and Jean.

Hello. What year did you graduate?

(CHUCKLES)

Mr. Weston, if the defense rests, we can move on to closing arguments.

Actually, I have another witness.

A new witness at this point?

WESTON: She's not new.

The defense recalls Gabrielle Solis.

(GALLERY MURMURING)

(WHISPERS) You promised.

I also promised to keep you out of jail.

What is he doing?

I... I don't know.

You understand that you are still under oath?

Ms. Solis, I would like to show you a picture of the victim.

Do you recognize this man as Ramon Sanchez?

No.

Your Honor, I want a recess.

Only your lawyer can ask for a recess, Ms. Van De Kamp. Please sit down.

Do you know this man by another name?

His name is Alejandro Perez.

And how do you know Mr. Perez?

He was...

He was my stepfather.

(GALLERY MURMURING)

Your Honor, I insist on another recess, please.

I'm feeling a little...

(GALLERY GASPS)

Bree!

(GAVEL BANGING) JUDGE CONTI: Order! Order!

We're in recess until tomorrow,

at which time we will see if Ms. Van De Kamp is able to continue.

Bree?

(WHISPERS) Don't touch me.

(GASPS) You scared the crap out of me!

They know it's Alejandro and you don't tell me?

Shh!

(WHISPERS) Hon, she just fell asleep.

Okay, this has gone far enough.

First thing tomorrow, I am telling the D.A. the truth.

No, you're not. You're not doing anything.

You got a better idea?

Yes! I'm gonna tell them it was me.

Are you out of your mind?

No. Look, listen to me. I am a victim of abuse.

The jury's going to side with me.

Who they're not going to side with is you, a two-time felon.

Gabby, you're crazy.

No, I'm not.

Since the first moment we met, you've protected me.

And I've been happy to let you do it,

because I've been this selfish, spoiled brat.

Well, I don't want to be that person anymore.

I'm tired of taking from you.

So, please, this time, just let me protect you.

You really think that a jury is going to believe

that you dragged a dead body through the woods yourself?

Adrenaline, fear, you'd be surprised what people can do.

I don't think that story's going to be enough, Gabby.

Well, I'll tell them exactly what happened that night.

He came over, he started attacking me,

and instead of saying you killed him with a candlestick, I'll say it was me.

Honey, it's 2:00 in the morning. Are you okay?

I was just thinking how proud I am of you.

Really?

You were just saying how much you want to change,

but you already have.

Five years ago, you never would have offered to sacrifice yourself for me.

Thank you.

(SIGHS)

But there is no way I'm letting you take the fall for this.

What? But you just said you were proud of how much I've changed.

Exactly. You've become this amazing role model for our daughters.

They need you now more than ever.

Wait, but they need you, too.

No, they need a father who accepts responsibility for his actions.

It has taken me a year, but I'm finally going to be that guy.

Now, I am going down to the court first thing in the morning

and confess everything.

Carlos, wait a minute!

I love you very much, Gabrielle,

but there is nothing that you can do to stop me.

(SCOFFS)

Why would I put you on the stand?

I was at that progressive dinner party.

I can testify that Renee was so stinking drunk,

she couldn't tell her ass from her elbow.

Okay. That could be helpful.

I think I can, uh, fit you in next Monday.

(CHUCKLES) Look at me.

I'm wearing a wig and toting an oxygen tank.

Do I look like I'm gonna make it till Monday?

Put me on the stand. You'll be glad you did.

Gabby's running late. What the hell? Why don't you take a seat?

Listen, if they take me into custody right away,

I won't get a chance to talk to the girls.

Let's not talk about that right now.

I don't want them seeing this on the news.

I need you to tell them that I love them and that you're in charge now.

Honey, I've always been in charge.

I don't know why you made me wear this thing.

No, it's freezing in the courtroom.

You'll thank me later.

(SIGHS)

So handsome. I'm going to miss this face.

I love you.

Ladies first.

Gabby! A little rude?

You snooze, you lose.

Gabby, wait!

(BEEPS)

Hold on.

(WHIRRING)

That's weird.

Remove your coat, please.

Okay.

Sir! Sir, you wanna explain this?

I swear, I have no idea how that...

Bye, Carlos.

Gabby, get back here!

We need backup!

Gabby!

Love you!

And Mrs. McCluskey,

you are a resident of Wisteria Lane, is that correct?

I've lived in that neighborhood for 35 years.

That's a long time. Now, Renee Perry has...

Let me tell you something about neighborhood.

Okay.

It's not just a bunch of houses in the same place.

It's a community.

It's lives that are connected,

people who care about each other.

That's beautiful. Now, back to Ms. Perry...

I know it sounds sappy, but, damn it, it's true.

And these wonderful people I've lived beside,

well, they're my family.

Your Honor, I'm not sure what we're getting from this.

You will in a minute, honey.

When you're in a family, like me and the girls,

you protect each other.

That's just the way it has to be.

So when Gabby's stepfather came back,

after everything that he'd done to her...

What do you mean?

(SCOFFS)

It's no secret he abused her when she was a kid.

Objection! Overruled.

So that night, when I saw him creeping around the house,

I followed him in, I picked up the candlestick,

and I killed that son of a bitch!

(GALLERY MURMURING LOUDLY)

(GAVEL POUNDING)

JUDGE CONTI: Order!

(MURMURING CONTINUES)

Order!

Order in this courtroom!

Quiet down or I will clear the courtroom.

Stop the trial! I have something to say.

McCluskey just confessed.

Mine can wait.

(SCOFFS) Your Honor, this is preposterous.

There's no way that frail woman could have committed this crime.

Adrenaline, fear,

you'd be surprised what people can do.

Counselors, my chamber. Now!

What the hell was that?

Your Honor, I had no idea.

(SCOFFS) She begged me to put her on the stand.

I thought she was going to discredit Renee Perry.

Obviously she needed to get this off her conscience.

Oh! You are such a liar!

This is a stunt, a last-ditch effort to save his client,

and I want him sanctioned. (SCOFFS)

Enough. Mr. Weston, where do you plan on going with this?

Well, now that the issue of sexual abuse has been introduced,

I'll need to bring Ms. Solis back on the stand.

Of course, she will talk about what a monster her stepfather was,

and as I recall, most of our jurors are parents.

After I've taken them through the sordid details of what your victim did...

You can't possibly allow this.

Given the testimony of the last witness, I have to.

Okay, Ms. Stone, what do you wanna do?

Ms. Stone?

STONE: Your Honor, at this time,

we move to dismiss all charges against Bree Van De Kamp.

(GALLERY MURMURING) (APPLAUSE)

MAN 1: I knew it.

MAN 2: Absolutely. (GAVEL POUNDING)

Ms. Stone, is there anyone else

that you would like to file charges against at this time?

Given her advanced age and declining health,

the People have decided not to press charges against Karen McCluskey.

(MURMURING)

All right. In that case, Ms. Van De Kamp, Mrs. McCluskey,

you are both free to go. Case dismissed.

(CHEERING) (APPLAUSE)

Congratulations.

Thank you.

LYNETTE: Bree!

Oh, God. Thank God.

Thank God.

Roy?

Why aren't you at Bree's big victory party?

Thought I'd sit this one out. (CHUCKLES)

Filed divorce papers today.

So I'm not really up to bumping into Lynette.

Anyway, I, uh... I wanted to come over and see how Karen's doing.

Incredible thing she did today.

Yeah, I'm proud as hell, but it took a lot out of her.

I brought her home, put her right in bed.

Still, she is one tough broad. (CHUCKLES)

What you got there?

Karen's pot roast recipe.

(LAUGHS)

Best one I ever tasted. She swore I'd never get it out of her.

So how did you convince her?

(SIGHS) I told her we have this gift.

We know these are our last days together.

So what's the point of holding back?

I didn't want anything to be left unsaid.

So we finally had that talk.

Yes, sir.

She told me she was the one

that lost our passports on the way to Mexico that time.

(CHUCKLES)

I told her the truth about my time in the service.

How I wasn't some tough guy, but scared to death.

She thanked me for always being able to make her laugh.

(VOICE BREAKS) And I told her

that she was the love of my life.

Tom, it's so important

to say these things when you can.

Because when it's over, it's over.

I hear you.

Do you?

(POPS) (ALL LAUGH)

Yay.

(SIGHS)

Somebody make a toast.

To Bree, who put her life on the line to protect us

and we will never forget what you did.

GABRIELLE: Aw. Hear, hear.

And to Karen McCluskey, the bravest woman I have ever known.

Aw. (CHUCKLES)

And to you ladies,

who could have abandoned me during my hour of need...

Okay, okay. Less thanking, more drinking.

(ALL CHUCKLING)

LYNETTE: Cheers.

Hey!

Hi!

Congratulations, Bree.

I cannot tell you how relieved I am that you weren't convicted.

Oh. That is so sweet.

Seriously, do you have any idea

how living across from a murderer can affect housing prices?

(LAUGHS)

Do you have a sec?

What's up?

Have you told the girls you're moving?

Um...

Not yet.

I thought it would be easier after the trial,

but now everybody's so happy.

I just haven't found the right time.

Well, you're gonna have to find one.

I got an offer on your house.

Hey. You're out of ice.

Do you have any at your house?

I think I've got a bag. I'll be right back.

What are you doing here?

You left so quickly, I didn't get a chance to...

I'm sorry, this is a private party for my neighbors and friends.

You're mad. I get that. But, please, let me explain.

There's nothing to explain.

You swore to me you wouldn't put Gabby on the stand and then you did.

You lied to me.

To win this case. For you.

(SIGHS)

And also for me.

(CHUCKLES) Bree, there's no way I was gonna let you go to jail.

Plus there's this thing between us and...

Please.

You're just pretending there's something between us

so you could get information from me.

I wasn't trying to get...

(SIGHS)

Bree, I probably shouldn't even be here.

I have to tell you, I'm so sorry.

(SIGHS)

Renee, you I can forgive.

And, Ben, you're my hero.

Come on in.

And you are not welcome in my home.

Can I talk to you?

They're kind of waiting for me at Bree's.

I'm in charge of the ice, so...

Lynette.

Lynette, please.

Look, at the end, before I left, our problems looked

this big.

So I went away.

But now, I realize they only seemed that way

because we were so close up against them.

And they were blocking me

from seeing how much I love you.

Which is...

I see that now.

And I need to tell you that,

because you have to say these things while you still can.

Tom,

my ice is melting, and I'm not exactly sure what you're saying.

I am saying that I know you've moved on,

and I hope that you'll be happy.

Because you, Lynette,

you will

always be the love of my life.

That's all.

What do you mean, I've moved on?

Gregg told me that you broke up with him

because you're in love with someone else, so...

Yeah, I am.

You.

Me?

You.

You.

You.

You.

(SIGHS)