Original subtitles

MARY ALICE: Previously on Desperate Housewives.

At Mike's funeral, Susan and MJ said goodbye.

Gabby gave her blessing.

You should quit your job.

If being a counselor is gonna make you happy

then that's what you should do.

Lynette spoke her mind about Tom's girlfriend.

I actually don't think it's gonna last that much longer.

And the police gathered more evidence.

Someone out there is accusing you of killing Mr. Sanchez.

That's just silly.

I want to make sure we get enough

to put this bitch away for good.

MARY ALICE: Renee Perry had waited many months for a proposal.

And for many months, she had been disappointed.

There had been a cozy evening by the fire

that didn't go the way she had hoped.

A romantic moment in Wisteria Park

that wasn't so romantic after all.

And a beautiful picnic by a lake

that turned out to be nothing more than a picnic.

(BLOWS NOSE)

So when disappointment struck again,

Renee decided to speak up.

Dessert?

That's the big finale to a six course meal? Dessert?

Were you expecting, like, a cheese course?

No! I was expecting a ring!

You have red roses, champagne.

You are sending me every signal in the world

that I'm about to get a big proposal,

and instead I get a cookie.

Well, it's a chocolate souffle.

(SCOFFS) Whatever. I am not a young woman.

I don't know how many more fake-outs my heart can take.

Okay, fine! I was gonna propose tonight.

I just did such a horrible job the first time,

I wanted this to be exceptional.

They call it "popping the question,"

not "dragging it out to eternity."

So come on! Pop!

Can I at least read you the speech that I wrote?

Lord! Just give me the last paragraph.

Okay.

"For all these reasons and more,

"it is with great honor that I ask you..."

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

We're ignoring that. Keep going.

"If you would consider making me

"the happiest man in the..." (KNOCK)

Go away!

DETECTIVE HEREDIA: It's the police.

We're looking for a Mr. Ben Faulkner.

(SIGHS)

I'm Ben Faulkner. How can I help you?

You own the condominium project

under construction at Chapman Woods?

BEN: I used to. Bank owns it now.

You mind coming down to the station with us?

Want to ask you about a body we found in the site.

Is he under arrest?

No, ma'am.

We just want to ask your boyfriend a few questions.

Yeah.

Wait!

He's not my boyfriend, he's my fiance.

MARY ALICE: Yes, Renee Perry had

waited a long time for a proposal.

Okay, now you can take him.

And she wasn't about to let it slip through her fingers.

MARY ALICE: Bree Van De Kamp started every morning

by catching up on the latest news.

But sometimes,

the news came from an unexpected source.

Hey, Bree. Look what happened to my hand.

Oh, my goodness! Are you...

We're getting married.

Oh! How wonderful!

Yeah, we're pretty happy.

"Pretty happy"?

We're ecstatic! Knickers to the wind! Over the moon!

Congratulations! When did this happen?

RENEE: Last night. And get this.

In the middle of his big romantic proposal,

the cops come by to ask about some dead body they found

at the construction site.

So, tell me more.

I definitely want a big wedding, bridesmaids, the works.

I was talking about the body. What did the police say?

Not much. You know, I told them

that I didn't know anything about it,

and they believed me.

Good.

Although, I have to say, I'm surprised you didn't tell me sooner.

Yeah... We're sorry.

It was late and I wanted to tell my sister first.

Again, talking about the body.

Why would we tell you that?

And why are we talking about this and not me?

Quite right. I just would hate to see this tragic news

interfere with your happy day.

And I don't think it will.

But I really don't think you should worry about it.

The police don't seem like they're gonna pose a problem.

That was Judge Kemp. He just signed off on that warrant.

For Bree Van De Kamp?

That was fast.

I might have called in some favors.

Sooner I can prove she's guilty,

sooner I can watch her pay for it.

You got another one. Mitzi Kinsky.

"Mike was a ray of sunshine on our street.

"He will be missed dearly."

Isn't that lovely?

Everybody's been so generous.

Yeah, 10 jars of homemade jam.

I don't know if she was being generous

or just cleaning out her basement.

Well, either way, it was a gesture of love and support.

Makes me feel better.

There is my baby boy.

Morning, bub.

Eggs on a raft,

just the way you like them.

(SNIFFS)

These smell gross.

Okay, not a problem.

Is there something else you'd like me to...

MJ!

It's okay, honey. What do you want?

Strawberry ice cream.

Buddy, I don't think

that's the healthiest way to start your day.

I don't care what you think.

Well, okay, maybe just this once.

I'll get you a bowl.

Or no bowl is good.

I'm gonna eat this in front of the TV.

Can you bring me some sprinkles?

Of course, honey.

Uh... Mom. What?

It's just ice cream, okay?

He lost his dad.

Okay.

MJ: Mom? Where's my sprinkles?

Coming!

Whoa.

What's going on here?

(CHUCKLES) I thought I'd kick off your big resignation day

with a power breakfast.

Plus, the expiration on the sausage was yesterday.

I got to say, now that the day is finally here,

I'm starting to get a little freaked out.

Don't you worry. I've made a decision.

I'm getting a job.

What? You don't have to do that.

No, I want to. It's time I help out. I owe it to you.

(SIGHS) So, I wrote up a resume,

I booked a meeting at an employment agency

and I even bought myself a girly briefcase.

But I thought we were just gonna cut back.

Live a smaller life.

Yeah, I thought about that,

and I decided I want a slightly bigger life.

So I figure if I work, the girls can stay in private school,

we can keep both cars,

and maybe even take one of those ski trips

we talked about canceling.

Gabby, I love that you're trying to help,

but an entry-level salary is not gonna cover the cost of skis,

let alone five nights at the Ritz.

Well, maybe not now. But if I work my way up the ladder,

in a few years I'll be pulling in

the big bucks. Just like you do.

Or did.

What kind of ladder are we talking about here?

What is it that you're gonna do?

I don't know yet. That's where the employment lady comes in.

She's gonna help me figure out how to best utilize my "skill set."

Yeah, read that in one of your business magazines.

I'm proud of you stepping up like this.

Hope you find a job that has health care

'cause my benefits end today.

What?

No risky meat without benefits.

(INAUDIBLE)

What the...

Yeah, Doug and I eloped,

so this time I want an over-the-top wedding.

Horse-drawn carriages, fireworks, poodles dyed purple.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Um... Is this weird?

Me going on about how happy I am

while you're all sad and single?

Actually, I'm hoping I won't be single for long.

I've decided to try to get Tom back.

So we're done talking about me?

Yeah, kind of.

Great. So what are you thinking?

I figure I'll just come clean.

Tell him I screwed up and beg him to come back.

(EXHALES)

It's amazing you landed a man in the first place.

Well, what do you think I should do?

Oh...

Throw yourself at him.

Next time he stops by, let a boob fall out of your blouse,

or maybe bend over in those tight-ass jeans.

That's not gonna work.

You're right. Sorry. What do I know about getting a man?

Wait, a lot!

Come on, help.

It's not gonna be easy splitting them up.

They just moved in together, and they seem so happy.

Of course they're happy. They're in that honeymoon phase.

They're still taking trips, laughing at each other's jokes,

pretending they're interested in museums.

We had a honeymoon phase, too. Maybe I need to remind him of that.

Well, remind him naked.

The only tricky part is gonna be getting him alone.

Jane watches him like a hawk. A tall, bitchy hawk.

Well, whatever you do, do it soon.

I'm not gonna waste a plus one at my wedding

unless I know it's serious.

ANDREW: Hey.

Mom?

Andrew!

Oh!

It's wonderful to see you. How are you?

I'm good. I'm good, I'm really good.

Really? Because your sister told me you lost your job.

I've been so worried.

Didn't you get any of the messages I left?

I've just been really busy. But everything's fine.

In fact, I met someone.

You did? That's wonderful.

I know how hard your breakup from Alex was.

I'm so happy that you're moving on.

Yeah.

Well, it's only been a few months, but it's pretty serious.

How serious?

Serious enough that we were driving through town

and I thought the two of you should meet.

He's here?

Yeah, well...

Now I want you to keep an open mind.

Who's this?

This is Mary Beth. My fiancee.

I'm so glad to finally meet you.

I've been telling this guy I can't marry him

till I meet his mom. (CHUCKLES)

So you're really engaged? To each other.

Yeah. Yeah, and remember, you're happy I've moved on, right?

I just have so many questions.

I know what you must be thinking. It's too soon.

No, that's not what I'm thinking.

Mom? (CHUCKLES)

(CHUCKLES) I'm sorry, it's just that you're very different

than all the other dates Andrew's brought home.

Well, you know, people change. (CHUCKLES)

So, how did you two meet anyway?

It's a real cute story.

I was at the community center for my Overeaters Anonymous meeting

when I went into the AA meeting by mistake.

And by mistake, I mean I remembered how drunks love their donuts.

So as I was reaching for a buttermilk glazed,

there was Andrew.

You're in Overeaters Anonymous?

Yeah. I actually lost 220 pounds.

And then gained 160 pounds of Grade A beefcake. (LAUGHS)

Isn't she adorable? Uh-huh.

Andrew, would you help me in the kitchen?

I'd like to get some tea biscuits

and they're on a very high shelf.

Tea biscuits.

Forty-six calories.

(LOWERED VOICE) Andrew, I do not understand.

What is going on here?

Look, I know it's not who you were expecting.

But remember how you always said

that being gay was just a phase?

That I just needed to meet the right girl?

Well, you were right. Just be happy for me.

(CLOCK TICKING)

JULIE: Come on. Back to bed.

MJ, it is 2:00 in the morning. You should be in bed.

MJ: You can't tell me what to do.

What did you just say to me?

(VIDEO GAME SOUNDS)

(SCOFFS)

Hey! Turn that back on!

Uh-uh.

Guys, what's going on in here?

(SIGHS) I am trying to get MJ back to bed.

I can't sleep.

Yeah, well, blowing up aliens isn't gonna help.

JULIE: Come on.

No! I want to play my game.

Turn it back on, now!

Shh.

Don't get upset. You can finish your game.

What?

(SIGHS)

Just for a little while,

and then you have to go back to bed. Okay?

Mom, can I talk to you for a second?

I think you're making a mistake.

It's not that big a deal.

Yes, it is.

Look, I know what he's going through is awful,

but this isn't helping.

He's totally taking advantage of you.

He's not taking advantage.

He's traumatized.

And it's killing me to see what he's going through.

So if I can give him a little joy

by letting him play video games,

that's what I'm gonna do.

So I'm looking to make in the six-figure range,

plus benefits, of course.

And I have two young girls, so flexible hours would be good.

And we always take this big vacation, so I'll need two weeks off.

Maybe three. You know what, just give me all of August.

(SING-SONGY) So, what do you got for me?

A reality check.

Excuse me?

Mrs. Solis, you're gonna have to adjust your expectations.

Up?

No.

Have you not been reading the newspapers?

The job market right now is brutal.

I have people with PhDs that I can't find jobs for.

And frankly,

your job experience is very limited.

"Modeling, modeling, modeling."

Okay, okay. (SCOFFS)

Okay, print, runway, boat show.

(CHUCKLES) I mean, who's the job expert here?

Plus there's a 15-year gap here.

Yeah, to be a doting wife and a loving mother of two.

You have experience with children. (TYPES)

I have a job at a day-care center.

Yeah, and deal with other people's kids?

I don't even like my own.

Look, you didn't go to college,

you didn't even graduate high school

and your only references are photographers

and aging rock stars.

In today's market, you're basically unemployable.

And you actually get paid for this?

So now what am I supposed to do?

Well, you could start planning that August vacation.

MARY ALICE: Gabrielle Solis was depressed.

And when she was depressed,

nothing lifted her spirits like a good workout

of her credit card.

May I help you? Yeah.

I just want to get that little red scarf

I saw in the window, then I'll be on my way.

All right.

Although,

that... (INHALES DEEPLY)

black sheath dress would go perfect with it.

Mmm.

(GASPS) Look at those over-the-knee boots!

(GASPS)

Okay, who am I kidding?

Get me a double cappuccino and a muscular stock boy.

Mama needs a new pair of everything.

(SCOFFS) I said taupe. This is clearly beige.

We don't have it in taupe...

Second floor, third mannequin from the left. Look alive!

I'll try these in plum,

these in leopard, these...

No, forget it. No lady wants to see anything under 4 inches.

You go with you. You go with you.

You go away.

No one's been able to make that romper work. Should we help her?

Stay back. She knows what she's doing.

Navy blazer, silver hoop earrings, platform wedge.

And a red patent leather clutch.

(ALL APPLAUDING)

Genius. Genius.

Everything looks and smells so amazing, Mrs. Van De Kamp.

Do you mind if I take a picture?

Of the food?

That way I eat just a little bit now.

And then later, when I'm hungry,

I can look at the picture and get full on the memory.

(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) Don't you just want to eat her up?

Not before I take a picture of her.

You know, Mary Beth, I just realized

I don't know a thing about you.

What do you do?

Well, actually, nothing. My parents have been pretty generous.

Really? What sort of work are they in?

None of your business, Mom.

No, no, it's okay.

They invented Mary Beth's Frozen Custard.

"Mary Beth"? You're that Mary Beth?

Recognize me? The kid on the carton?

(GASPS) It's in every supermarket in the country!

It must be a multibillion dollar...

Oh.

(BREE CHUCKLES)

Would you help me in the kitchen, Andrew? Now.

(SIGHS)

Andrew, I knew you were having financial troubles,

but I never thought you'd stoop to this.

What?

She's an heiress. You're obviously marrying her for her money!

I'm marrying her because I'm crazy about her.

We love the same movies. She makes me laugh.

She gets me. She's really an amazing girl.

MARY BETH: I think I found your good side!

Smile, gnocchi. (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)

She's disturbed!

Okay, all right, she's a little eccentric.

But, you know what? I love her.

Andrew Van De Kamp, you love Italian shoes,

you love mid-century modern furniture,

and according to your Internet history,

you love army doctors

giving elaborate physicals to young recruits.

But you do not love girls!

Why can't you accept that I've changed?

Because homosexuality is not a choice!

You were born this way.

I'm the one who told you that!

And it took me a long time,

but I was finally able to wrap my head around it.

Honey, you're here, you're queer, and I'm used to it.

You know what, Mom? I'm not here anymore, all right?

Mary Beth, let's go. (SLIDES DOOR OPEN)

LYNETTE: Hey!

How was your dad's?

Fine. Aw!

She was in a bit of a mood. But I still love you unconditionally.

Let me guess. Did it have something to do

with a certain Taylor Swift concert this Thursday night?

I'm just saying,

all my friends' moms are taking them.

And all your friends' moms are gonna be deaf for two weeks,

like I was the last time we went

to a concert. I'm not doing it.

It's not fair!

I am gonna go give Paige a bath.

Thank you for bringing her home.

(SIGHS) I'm gonna go grab your suitcase.

Mom, please!

It'd make you the bestest mom in the whole wide world.

LYNETTE: No. The matter is closed.

This sucks.

Hey,

you know who else likes Taylor Swift? Me.

I mean, if your parents are okay with it, I'll take you.

Oh, my God!

You're the best! (JANE LAUGHS)

I'll check with my mom and call you?

Can't wait.

Okay. (CHUCKLES)

So?

Totally worked.

You'll have Dad all to yourself Thursday night.

You are the bestest girl in the whole wide world.

(GIGGLES)

CARLOS: Gabby? (DOOR CLOSES)

Hi, babe.

What is that?

This? It's a boot.

I bought a boot.

You bought one boot?

Yep. 'Cause I'm frugal.

One day I'll buy the other one.

That's all you bought?

Because I got a call from the bank.

Seems somebody was going crazy with your credit card.

Huh. Maybe it was stolen.

Yeah. By a size zero with incredibly expensive taste!

What is this shopping bag doing under the bed?

I bought a gift for a woman

whose husband is in Iraq fighting for our freedom.

Gabby! You're taking it all back!

I can't!

Not if I've worn it.

(LAUGHS)

Can't take it back. Can't take it back now! See?

Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!

Our lives have changed! We can't afford this anymore!

Not unless you got some big job you haven't told me about!

(SIGHS) What's wrong?

I met with that job lady.

But she basically said I'm not qualified to do anything.

I didn't finish school, I've never had a real job.

The only thing I've ever gotten paid for is being pretty.

I just feel like my life has been

one bad decision after another.

Uh...

What about the girls?

What about marrying me?

That's the part that hurts the most.

You guys are the only good thing I've ever done,

and I feel like I'm letting you down.

(SIGHS) Gabby,

you are smart.

You'll figure something out. Something great.

But in the meantime,

all these clothes have to go back.

I know.

Could you just give us a moment alone?

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

Hello.

Yes, this is his mother.

He did what?

He threw a stapler at you?

Yes. Right at my head.

Are you sure it wasn't an accident?

He couldn't have been aiming at your head.

What he said was,

and I wrote this down, because I wanted to be exact,

"Leave me alone or I am going to throw this stapler at your head."

I am so sorry.

You do know that MJ just lost his father, right?

I do.

My heart goes out to both of you.

But there is no place for violence in my classroom,

no matter what the circumstances are at home.

Circumstances? Um...

I mean, it's not like he just lost his favorite toy

or a pet turtle.

He lost his dad.

Yes, but if MJ had thrown that stapler a little harder,

my grandkids might've lost their grandmother.

Well, I am sure that he is sorry.

He isn't. In fact, he said, and I quote, "Bull's-eye."

I'm considering having him removed from my class.

Okay. Uh...

What MJ did was wrong,

but I'm finding it hard to believe

that a person that spends so much time with children

could be so oblivious to a child's pain.

I have 20 other children I need to protect.

And MJ is a very angry little boy.

Well, of course he's angry.

He's nine,

and one of the most important and loving people in his life

has just been ripped away from him.

And now he has to live with the fact

that his father is never coming back.

Inside voices, please.

To hell with your inside voices! His father is dead!

My husband is dead!

(TEACHER GROANS)

TEACHER: My foot!

It's her.

(PEOPLE MURMURING)

Why is everyone looking at me? Did I do something wrong?

No, no. In fact, we have done nothing

but talk about your shopping skills for the last 24 hours.

Really? Yes.

We even went back and watched the security tape to see it again.

Well, keep the tape. It was my last show.

What?

Circumstances have changed,

my shopping days are over. Just do me a favor.

Wait till I'm gone to restock the boots.

I can't cry again today.

No, wait, wait.

Take care of these for Mrs. Solis.

And bring her a glass of champagne.

Champagne?

Did you not hear me? I'm broke.

You have no reason to suck up to me anymore.

Well, I do if I want you to work here.

Huh?

You see, you're like a shopping savant.

And every day women come in here

with all the money in the world

and no clue what to spend it on. You could help them.

You mean like a personal shopper job?

No, do not think of it as a job.

For you, my dear, it is a calling.

(SIGHS) I don't know.

Employees get a 40% discount.

Hi, welcome to Cumberly's. My name is Gabrielle. Can I help you?

I want to thank you for accepting my apology

and coming over before you left town.

I feel like I haven't had the appropriate reaction to this wedding.

No. No, no, you've been wonderful.

Well, to show you how excited I am

that my little boy is getting married,

I've thrown you a surprise engagement party.

(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

(LAUGHTER)

Mom, what the hell is this?

I just invited some of your old

friends over to congratulate you.

Hey, girl.

I haven't seen you in ages. Those shoes are ferosh.

Who's this hag?

This is Andrew's fiancee.

Mary Beth.

Hi, Mary Beth. I'm Brian with an "I." This is Bryan with a "Y."

What is this about you getting married?

We need to dish.

Um... Uh...

Sweetie, why don't you go in the kitchen and grab a drink?

I just love those boys. They used to be here all the time.

So, what did you think of Andrew's friends?

They seem sweet. And very well groomed.

Well, yeah. But don't they seem,

I don't know, a little disco-y?

Mrs. Van De Kamp, I know Andrew's gay.

You do?

We've never actually made love,

and he has a picture of Michael Phelps next to his bed.

He says it's patriotic, but...

I don't understand. If you know about him...

You have to understand,

I grew up fat and lonely.

When I lost all the weight, I thought

men would look at me differently,

but they didn't.

I just kind of gave up.

Oh, Mary Beth...

But then I met Andrew. He's sweet, fun and I just thought,

"I could do a lot worse."

No, no, no.

No, you listen to me.

You deserve real romance and passion in your life.

I know all about this.

I have been with plenty of men for companionship

when it should have been for love.

The right man for you is out there somewhere.

You just can't settle. It's not fair to you or to Andrew.

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

I think we need to talk.

All right.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Coming! Coming, coming.

Okay.

No.

Hey. Hey.

I came as soon as I got your message. So, power's out, huh?

I know, it's so embarrassing.

I just got off the phone with the electric company

and it turns out it's a faulty line.

So they're gonna fix it first thing tomorrow morning.

So, you don't need me to look at anything or...

I'm sorry. I feel terrible, dragging you all the way over here.

So, you want something for your trouble? A drink or...

No. No, no, I don't want to be in your hair.

No, no, you're not.

Honestly, it's a little scary being

all alone in a dark house. (CHUCKLES)

Hence the hundreds of candles.

Yeah, I did go a little overboard, huh?

What are you cooking? It smells amazing in here.

Yeah? I'm trying out a new recipe

for the kids. Beef bourguignon.

But Penny's with Jane

and Parker's having pizza with the Martindales.

I love beef bourguignon.

That's right. I totally forgot.

You remember the first time we tried it?

New York. Our second anniversary.

That must be where I got the idea!

I was just looking at pictures from that trip.

Yeah? You got out the old photo album?

Yeah.

(CHUCKLES) Man. Look at us.

Hey, why don't you stay for dinner? I'll make you a plate.

Yeah, I don't know.

Come on.

Jane's at the concert. What would you rather do,

eat a microwave dinner all alone in your apartment,

or beef bourguignon?

Well, I'd hate for it to go to waste.

(TOM CHUCKLES)

Well, I hope you're happy.

Mary Beth is on her way back to Wisconsin.

I'm sorry.

Why are you so concerned about her life?

What about me? I'm your son!

I did this for you.

Can you look me in the eye and tell me you would have been happy

spending the rest of your life with that woman?

That marriage really could have helped me out.

And you have no idea how much help I need.

Why? What is going on?

Where do I start? Um...

Well, I took a loss on the house that you got me.

I lost my job, can't find a new one.

I have a ton of credit card debt.

And Mary Beth was willing to help me out with all of that.

Well, so would I. Why didn't you come to me for help?

Do you know what it feels like

to have to keep running back to your mother to fix your problems?

My whole life, you've been propping me up.

When I needed a job, when I was dumped,

when I was drinking.

I'm so tired of you seeing me as a failure.

Andrew, if you would go through all of this,

rather than come to me for help,

then I am the one who's failed.

(SIGHS)

How about we just agree that we both failed?

So what are you gonna do now?

I don't know. I had a pretty good set-up there.

A place to live, somebody who needed me.

All the frozen custard that I could eat.

Well, I don't have any custard,

but I can offer you a place to stay

and someone else who needs you.

All right,

just until I get back on my feet again.

Now, let's talk about that party. (BOTH CHUCKLE)

I can swear I saw Bryan with a "Y" checking you out.

Well, actually, I am more into Geoffrey with a "G."

Now that's my gay son.

(CHUCKLES)

God, look at all the stuff we're doing.

We used to be interesting.

I know! We hiked, we went to the theater.

We took salsa lessons.

And then came the kids.

Ah, fun killers.

(BOTH CHUCKLE)

Mmm.

This is amazing. It's even better

than that restaurant in New York.

I don't know. That place was pretty good.

How did we even find it?

You don't remember? Mmm-mmm.

We got caught in that torrential downpour.

We ducked in there to dry off.

Right. And then the owner insisted on making us a special meal

because we had that newlywed look. (CHUCKLES)

Lot of water under that bridge, huh?

Yeah, but it was a pretty strong bridge.

Look how young we were.

Yeah. (LAUGHS)

Back then I could actually see without my reading glasses.

Here you go. Best I can do for light.

Thank you.

Oh! (LAUGHS)

I am glad you kept these.

Good memories, huh?

Yeah.

You know, sometimes you just get overwhelmed

by work and kids and life

and it's just so easy to

forget.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is.

(FLAME WHOOSHES)

I'm on fire! Oh, my God. Oh, my God!

I'm on fire!

Oh, my God!

(BOTH EXCLAIMING)

Are you okay?

(GROANS) I think I burned the skin.

Oh! Jeez, let me see.

(SIGHS)

It doesn't look so bad.

I thought the power was out.

They must have fixed it.

You set this up.

You know, in my defense, I...

What the hell is going on?

I just wanted to see where we stood.

If there was still anything between us,

if we could find our way back to those people in the pictures.

By tricking me?

I'm sorry about how I did it.

But you can't deny what just happened.

You still feel something.

Jane just moved in with me.

And you do this now?

(DOOR OPENS)

(DOOR CLOSES)

Hey, Mom.

Hey! How was the concert?

Awesome. How did it go with Dad?

Not so awesome.

Yeah, I kind of got that from the sweatpants.

Come here, you.

Hi.

Hi. (KISS)

(CHUCKLES)

So now what?

I don't know.

Well, I'll tell you what you can't do.

Give up.

Taylor Swift has this song,

Mmm.

Mmm-hmm.

You Belong With Me. It's about how she won't stop loving this guy

even though he's with the wrong girl.

And when she sang it tonight,

all I could think about was you and Dad.

And this guy she loves,

does he eventually come to his senses?

(SCOFFS)

It wouldn't be a very good video if he didn't.

And don't worry. Dad will, too.

You think?

Mom, you're fighting for him.

What guy doesn't like that?

(CHUCKLES)

You know, (KISS)

when you say something really smart like that,

it makes me think I did a really good job.

What do you think? Is it going to blister?

It's a first-degree burn, Tom. You'll be fine.

But as your physician,

let me recommend, no more candlelit baths alone.

Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking.

Well, the good news is I can declare you healthy enough

for any and all sexual activity.

Actually,

I need to get some work done.

Oh.

Okay. Well, the nice thing about us living together,

if you change your mind, you know where to find me.

Okay, that's the last of them.

Okay.

Actually, we're not done here.

I want to talk to you.

Is this about what happened at school?

Yes.

You need to know that it is never okay

to throw a stapler at someone.

I know.

It's also never okay to sweep a bunch of stuff off someone's desk

because you don't like what they're saying about your son.

Particularly if they've just had bunion surgery.

You did that to Mrs. Butters?

Not proud of it, but yeah.

I was really mad.

Just like you.

MJ, something horrible happened to you.

And every time you started to get angry about it,

I wanted to cover it up with ice cream or video games.

But the truth is, we shouldn't cover it up.

We should let it out.

Now, we can't hurt people,

but we can

hurt jam.

(SIGHS)

(GRUNTS)

Mom!

People sent us this to help us feel better.

And it's going to.

Just not in the way they thought.

(GRUNTS)

Come on, buddy.

You got a lot to be angry about.

(VOICE BREAKING) What happened sucks.

(GRUNTS)

Sweetie.

(SNIFFLES AND CRIES)

I love you. I love you.

I love you so much.

That's a cake I made for a wedding a few years ago.

I know what you're gonna say,

it's too extravagant. It's not big enough.

Oh. Well, I suppose we could add another tier.

Make it two.

I really appreciate this, Bree.

Ben is such a guy.

He's not gonna be any help planning this wedding.

Yes, especially since he's dealing

with that nasty business of the body.

Oh, that? No, Ben's in the clear.

Really?

Yeah, the cops called this morning.

They figured out

the guy they found died eight months ago.

That was way before Ben started construction.

Oh. Yeah.

The cops think the guy was just some poor drifter.

Anyway, it's over.

Good.

Well, now we can focus all our energy

on giving you the best wedding in the world.

Tomorrow we'll start our planning.

MARY ALICE: Yes, in life, when we see an opportunity,

we have to take it.

Whether it's the hope of winning back the love of our life.

A shot at proving our worth.

Or the chance to show a child the right path.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

But sometimes, when we answer the call...

Hello?

Hi, it's Bree.

We have no idea what opportunity awaits us.

Renee just told me the good news.

And I wanted to thank you for keeping my secret.

No worries. Told you I would.

BREE: I know. But even when suspicion moved onto you,

you still protected me and that's very honorable.

BEN: Really, it was no big deal.

BREE: Maybe not to you.

You're not the one who put a body in the ground.

You have to understand, a day doesn't go by

when that does not weigh heavily on my conscience.

Gotcha.