All language subtitles for movieddl.me_Psych.S06E10.1080p.BluRay.x264-STORiES_track4_[eng]

HENRY: All right, Shawn.
Say a few words.

Let's wrap this up so
| can get this dead thing
off my kitchen table.

I'm not ready yet.
Shawn, not again.

You left the hamster
in the freezer
for two months

while you hemmed and hawed
over the appropriateness
of a burial at sea.

Now just say
something nice
about your lizard

before rigor mortis sets in,
he bloats,
and his arms pop off.

Okay. Fine.

Lizardy... Uh...

You were found in the yard
on a really great day.

You came to this house
as my prisoner but...

You left as my friend.

(SIGHS)

(STUTTERING) Shawn.

| can't deal
with this right now.

Shawn.

(DOOR CLOSES)
Okay, I'll bury him myself.

GUS: You want
to explain this?

Um...

Yes, | would
like to very much.

(CLEARS THROAT)
But we are so late, Gus.

And these coffee cups
are not gonna put
themselves away.

You take a trip
with the intention
of proposing

and don't tell me,
your oldest and
blackest friend?

| called you eight
times on that trip.

I'm not letting you off
on a technicality, Shawn.

Look... (SIGHS)

It's my emergency ring.

That is the dumbest
thing | ever heard.

What, are you kidding me?

What if the perfect proposal
moment presents itself?

| gotta be ready.

|! mean, what if our
faces suddenly pop up
on the Jumbotron

or | get selected
from the audience

to feed Shamu at Sea World?

| gotta be ready for that.

You're actually
ready to be married?

No. Well,
someday maybe.

Not anytime soon.

Look, that is...
It's my grandmother's
ring, okay?

| can barely look at it.

Now can we please go?

We were supposed to be
at the museum an hour ago.

That shipment's gonna
get there before we do.

Fine.

Thank you.

I'm putting this thing away.

Just know if | ever do
pop the question,

| want you on one side,
Jules on the other,

just as a killer whale
leaps over our heads
to grab a mackerel.

That's storybook
right there.

GUS: Shawn, this
is SO embarrassing.

Look, | wouldn't be stuck
if it wasn't for
your stupid watch.

(GROANING)

What the hell
is going on here?

Nothing!
Small, little problem.
Don't be concerned.

He thought he saw
a candy bar inside.

There is a Renoir,
a Degas,

a Van Gogh,
and an irreplaceable
collection

of historical artifacts
in this shipment.

Why would there be
a Hershey bar in
the same container?

| Know international shipping
is quite expensive these days.

In his defense,
he thought it was

that cool, European candy
that tastes like salt.

SHAWN: Ah!

Oh. Ah!

What are you
doing here anyway?

We're always here
whenever a valuable
shipment comes in.

To sense trouble.
And collect a check.

But mostly sense trouble.

See, | am a psychic,
and we are very valuable
to this museum complex.

We discovered the dinosaur
over at the Natural
History Museum.

Do you know who | am?

| Know
you're not the dude
that discovered

a Tyrannosaurus rex
at the Natural History Museum.

That's us.
lam Christopher Holm.

Chris Holm?
Chrissy Holm?

No?
You have any nicknames?

I'm the curator
of this museum.

And | did not sign off
On you or you.

Well, you need to
check your facts, Jack,

because we are
museum heroes.

So you're kind
of stuck with us.
Don't check him though.

They got your name
wrong on the plaque.
Oh, twice!

The first time,
they called me
Bruton Gaster.

And then they switched it
to Brutal Hustler
on the new one.

He likes it. He doesn't
want 'em to change it.
Well, | don't mind it.

You can call me Brutal.
Right.

Right.
Well, as of now,
you are reassigned.

Okay.

Et tu, Brute.

Tal.
Bru-tal.

Get out of here!

Really?
We're guarding a wall?

It's probably
a pretty important wall.

Man, this never
would have happened

if you had reached
for that candy.

How is that
any different?

‘Cause my arms are
way bigger than yours.

Please.
WOMAN: You know what,
leave me alone.

Hey, look at that.

Get away from me.

| should probably help her.

Help her do what,
run away?

I'll remind you,
I've had 11 kung fu lessons.

You took four,
missed six, and slept
through the last one.

| was meditating!
You Know what,
| don't need this.

Hey!
You get your damn
hands off her!

Really, you're
gonna threaten them

by quoting
Back to the Future?

MAN: Give me the purse.

Hey!
Let go.

(EXCLAIMS)

You okay?
Oh, my God,
thank you so much.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
| have a girlfriend.

What?
| Know what | just did
was incredibly cool,

but | need to get that
out of the way because
I'm sensing that

you were having
romantic feelings.

No, actually I'm just
concerned about my wallet.

Right, right.
Your wallet and
then the passion,

the burning passion.

Just negate those feelings,
because I'm off the market.

That was pretty amazing.

| mean, who does
that anymore, right?

| mean, they could
have killed me,

and you just took
your life in your hands.

| know, | know, it's almost
as if | attended all of my
martial arts classes.

And then some.

Yeah, and you would never
suspect that one day
| might have fallen asleep

and the instructor
used my knees to
balance the boards

that they were
chopping in half.

No, no.

| think what this woman
is trying to say here, Gus,
is that you can suck it.

No, I'm not saying that.
I'm paraphrasing.

Do you even know
what "paraphrase" means?

It means, "Suck it
please, Gus."

It doesn't mean
"Suck it please, Gus."

Okay, well,
you were both very brave.

No, no, miss, please,
stay out of this.

Otherwise,
he'll never learn.

Besides, he was lobbying
for leaving you here to die.

(LOUD CRASH)

Uh-oh.
Oh, my God!

Um...
(ALARM RINGING)

Uh, excuse us
while our lives end.

Thank you.

| guess that was
a pretty important wall.

| know, you know
That I'm not telling the truth

| know, you know
They just don't have any proof

Embrace the deception
Learn how to bend

Your worst inhibitions
tend to psych you out
in the end

| know, you know

| know, you know

| want him jailed.

Mr. Holm,
as much as that
idea pleases me,

you can't actually
put someone in jail
for being stupid.

Or for being
a good Samaritan.

Or stupid!

It does bear repeating.
GUS: Excuse me.

We did save a woman,
a fine woman at that.

You didn't mention
that she was attractive.

| don't remember
what she looked like.

Yes, you do.

Oh, this is preposterous.
A psychic indeed!

You are not
what you claim to be.
And | hold you responsible.

| hold you all responsible!

You can no more do that
then | can suppress
my heroic instincts

or Gus can control
his bladder during
intercourse.

What?

That's disgusting.
It's not true.

It's conjecture.
Look, guys, we still
have a chance here.

It's only been
a short time,
assumingly.

And | can tell you
exactly where that crate is,

right down
to the geographical
coordinates.

This is fruitless, Shawn.

You made a guarantee based
on me being able to do

a reverse GPS search
on an $80 hiking watch.

It needs to have
the distress signal
on to work.

| agree.

We need a professional
at this sort of thing.

Exactly, which
is why we need to forget
this psychic thing for once

and give the
information to the cops.

Believe me, | would,

but the cops don't
even have the kind of
firepower we need.

Dude, if you suggest
Batman one more time,

| will pull out
your eardrums.

I'm talking
about a pro, Gus.
A pro's pro.

I've already called him
and downloaded him
on the situation.

Really?
And who might that be?

Somebody call
for an art thief?

Hello, Barton.

Can you just give us
an approximate value
of the collection?

Are you serious?

Could you put a value
on your own father?

387,000.

We just need to know
what we're up against.

Let me show you what
we were going to exhibit
in the foyer.

These are just some
of the pieces of art

and the few artifacts
of Harrison Yerden.

You do know who
he was, don't you?

Yes.

He's the rich guy
who built the airplanes.

One of the richest men
in the world by the age
of 32.

He spent the rest of
his life trying to
spend his money.

He collected art
with the passion
of a Renaissance prince.

He financed expeditions

to the most remote
corners of the Earth

in search of the
rarest artifacts.

| get it.

He's Howard Hughes
and Indiana Jones.

The terms of
his will stipulate

that on the 50th
anniversary
of his death,

which was last Thursday,

his entire collection
should be removed
from the Louvre

and brought
to the Santa Barbara
Museum of Art.

Where it stayed for
exactly one hour until
your boyfriend lost it.

(SIGHS)

We're very sorry
for your loss.

We will find it.
There's always a way.

We have our best
people working on it.

That's what troubles me.

You do realize
lam finished, don't you?

| will be known
as the man who lost
the Yerden masters.

You can't do this.
You're on trial.

I'm out on bail.

GUS: In fact,
you're on trial right now

for doing this
same exact thing.

Oh, my gosh,
you did this.

Oh, please, Braxton.

This was brash, violent.
Committed by a team.

Everyone knows
| work alone.

It was so inelegant.

(CHUCKLES)

| was in court
while it happened.

Check on that.

| did, man.
There are pictures
and everything.

Gentlemen,
I'm here to help.

My trial ends
in a few days,

and my acquittal
has been evident
since day two.

Frankly, | was shocked
they haven't called
the whole thing off yet.

And besides,
| owe you for breaking
me out of prison.

We didn't know
we were doing that.

We were patsies.
Shawn.

And I've always had
a fondness for Shawn.

Why don't you show
me the program

you're using to locate
this GPS signal?

Oh, his is much bigger.

This is going to
take me a few hours.

That's perfect,
‘cause I'm gonna
need some time, too,

if we're going
after this treasure.

And this is the kind of thing
that could get Gus killed.

You look ridiculous.

You're just jealous
‘cause there's no black
dudes in Raiders.

Wrong, Katanga.
He drove the Bantu Wind.

That was beneath you.
You're right.

Where did you get that thing?
Don't ask.

Shawn, whenever we deal
with Despereaux,
it always ends badly.

Your glass
is always half-empty.

DESPEREAUX: Whoo,
serious players we have here.

Now, how do you suppose
we get up onto that roof?

(WHISTLING)

(GRUNTS HAPPILY)

Really?

Despereaux,
you are a genius.

| Know.
It's hard being
me sometimes.

Excuse me,
it's my watch.

Why do you need a watch
with a distress signal?

For hiking, Shawn.
You don't hike.

| plan to hike.
Players don't hike.

Man, you don't know
what players do.
What do they do?

Players hike deep into
the woods, they get lost,
they develop hypothermia,

and that's why
they need GPS.

Wait a second,
they're leaving
all the paintings?

Why are they abandoning
the expensive stuff?

We need a closer look.

Are you crazy?
Shh, shh.

Okay, I'm confused.
What was that thing?

It was a Civil War era dagger.

Only about 500 of
them were made.

Really?
What's it worth?

Oh, about $9,000 maybe.

Do they know that?

Yes, they do.

GUS: Wait a minute,
that's the woman we rescued
behind the museum.

Good Samaritan, my ass.

We got played, Shawn.
No, you got played.

| had my suspicions
all along.

That's Jacqueline Medeiros...

As high-end thief
as they come.

And she's strictly business.

Question is,
why is she doing this?

A woman like that doesn't
mess with a Van Gogh.

Unless...

Unless she's going after
the Core Collection.

Of course.

What is the Core Collection?

Nobody knows.
It's a legend really.

Story goes that Yerden
kept his most secret

and valuable items
hidden in a Core Collection.

Went to the grave before
he managed to tell anybody
what or where it was.

A dagger was said
to protect the collection.

| think you mean dragon.

No, | mean dagger.

GUS: Okay, let's take
this information
back to the police

So we Can be heroes again.

Hold that thought
one moment.

Where's he going?

Shawn was so desperate
at the museum today.
I've never seen him so down.

Yeah,
he was really affected.

Hey, tell me again
what it looked like

when that curator
was berating him.

Do you think he was
holding back tears?

Because that's
how | remember it.

Carlton.
Come on, O'Hara,

allow me this one thing.
| don't ask for much.

| just don't want this
to ruin him.

Do you seriously think
that's a possibility?
Because that would be awesome.

| know Shawn,
and he is not well equipped
to deal with failure.

| haven't heard
from him all day.

He's probably sulking
on the couch.

Oh, come on, O'Hara,
don't beat yourself up.

I'm sure he's out
screwing something else up.

(PHONE BUZZING)

No. No, Shawn.
You will not return
messages right now.

Can | at least send a text?
No!

Look, man, I've gotten
a lot of messages since
we started this thing, Gus.

You're just jealous
‘cause you haven't
gotten any calls.

Please,
| have my work phone.

The mailbox on
my player phone is full.

If | had my player phone,
my celly would be
blowing up right now.

You don't have
a player phone.

(STAMMERING)
| have...

| have three player
phones, one for each
part-time shorty.

Part... What are you
talking about?

Man, you don't know.

No.
Yes.

No. No.
Yes. Yes.

We are leaving.
We are leaving right now.

We just got here. Shh!

He's not answering.
He's not?

You Know what,
I'll just give him
some downtime.

Yeah, that's
probably a good idea.

Got it.
Got it?

No, no got it.

Put back.
Put back now.

How did you even do...

Guys.
Hmm?

Wait a minute,
| see someone out there.

We should probably go.
Go!

Go, go!
Go get them.

We're trapped.

Uh...

No, we are not.

(WHIRRING)

It's too far to jump.

I've got this.

What?

(LASHING WHIP)

What are you doing,
Shawn? What?

Hang on, Gus.

BOTH: Ohl!

Shawn, let go.
No, you let go.

Let go, Shawn.

What the hell was that?

One ata time.
Now toss me the whip.

| think | dropped it!

All right, just meet me
at the speedboat
at the dock, okay?

Okay, one question,
which boat?

The boat | showed
you on the way in.
Weren't you paying attention?

BOTH: Yeah.

Well, we got a little
excited, but yeah.

GUS: Yeah. Yeah.

(PANTING)

What's that?
That's gotta be it.

This is not a speedboat.
It's plenty speedy.

Since when do you know
anything about boats?

Fine. Fine.
Untie the rope!

(GRUNTS) Got it!

(GROANING)
What's taking you so long?

It's a tiny rope, Shawn.

Do | look like | have
children's hands?

Where's the button?
Turn the key!

Ah!
(ENGINE STARTING)

Okay, go, go, go.

(HORN HONKING)

We got the wrong boat.

Starboard, starboard.

Which way's starboard?
To the right, Shawn.

What are you doing?

Well, why don't
you just say "right"?

Because we're
seamen right now.
We are what?

Seamen.
We're seamen.

Stop saying that.
Anyone could be walking by.

That's what we are,
we're seamen!

Turn it.

We're going right back
to where we started, Shawn.

Well, you're putting
a lot of pressure
on me right now.

It's a delicate...
| got it. | know...

| got it.
| Know what to do.

(GUNSHOTS)

This way, this way.
Starboard, starboard,
that way.

It does the opposite of what
I'm telling it to do.

Ooh, labradoodle.

(GUNFIRE)

What the hell
are you doing?

(ENGINE STALLING)

(ENGINE SPUTTERING)

(ENGINE REVVING)

JACQUELINE:
Engine trouble?

(MEN LAUGHING)

Uh-oh.

We were home
when we got the call.

We almost got lost
finding this place.
What happened?

I'm so sorry, Shawn.
We got an |.D.

It's Despereaux.

But the good news is
the crate is exactly where
you said it would be

in the factory along with
all of the other paintings.

The museum's
going to be ecstatic.

Strong rally, Spencer.

Just a few hours,
and the guilty party is
already blown to smithereens.

Despereaux didn't do this.

Of course he didn't.
Why would | think he did?

| mean, we found him...
Well, parts of him

300 yards from
the stolen goods.

| mean, it's
circumstantial at best.
Carlton.

Look, the important thing is
that we saved the taxpayers

thousands of dollars,

and I've got a new slot
on my home Most Wanted wall.

Good-bye, Despereaux.
Hello, Caroline Kapicki,

murderous housewife
from Ojai,

who's also kind of a looker,
so, that's a plus.

Lassiter, please,
pretend you're a person.
Right.

Spencer, |am
sorry for your loss.

But Despereaux
was criminal trash,

so essentially
that means | win.

(SIGHS)

Despereaux
didn't do it, Jules.

You're looking for
a dark-haired woman
named Jacqueline.

Wow, that's so specific.

I'll look into it.

Mr. Despereaux's belongings
will therefore be distributed
in the following manner.

I'm sorry, you're here
for a will reading?

Shouldn't this
be at your office

or in a room full
of family and friends?

Sadly, Mr. Despereaux
did not have the benefit
of close family and friends.

Mr. Spencer, if | may speak
candidly, you were
really his only friend.

He left you the bulk
of his possessions.

No, no, no, thank you.

Those are
instruments of crime
and probably all stolen.

I'll take this though.
You can't have it.

What are you, my boss?
I'm your conscience.

Tony Cox is my conscience!
What?

There's the matter
of Mr. Despereaux's
cash accounts,

all of which were
willed to Psych.

He was an amazing man.

| keep this then.
That's packing material.

You have
your value system,
and | have mine.

Yes!

Most importantly,
there's the matter
of the eulogy.

This would seem
to indicate to me
that you, Mr. Spencer,

are the one
most suited for it.

Of course, of course.

Now when do we
get our money?

Well, most of Mr. Despereaux's
accounts were frozen
when the trial began.

Can't do it, Gus.

You can get your money
any way you want it, Shawn.

Except for nickels.
| will not allow that again.

| can't do the eulogy.

Do not insult the man.
Of course you can.

Of course he can.
It's too real.

It's too soon.

Can we delay the funeral?
Are you serious?

It's a matter of the smell.

Too stinky, Shawn.
Get to writing.

No!

I'm not gonna get up
in front of 10,000 people

and face the reality
of the Grim Reaper.

10,000?
Depending on
which arena we book.

You were the only friend
he had, Shawn.

Male.

Male friend.
Excuse me.

He had plenty of female
relationships, but...

Oh.
It would be a small ceremony.

Okay, well, | will be
there, front row.

| will start the
wave if need be.

Well, that figures.

This may be something
that you can just dance
in the face of, Gus,

but not me. Not me!

| will not stand up there
and talk about the tragedy
of Pierre's life.

Tragedy?

He was about
to be acquitted,
you fool.

For the first
time in his life,

he wasn't gonna
be on the run.

Pardon me, but
Mr. Despereaux was not
about to be acquitted.

You shut your drunk mouth.

He told me as much.
We were losing that trial.

| was trying to make a plea,
but the state was reluctant
because we had no grounds.

What?

No, I'm...

Uh, will he be mic'd?

Wait, | need
Despereaux's remains.

| can't sell them
to you, Shawn.

I'm kind of on probation
for that sort of thing.

| don't want to own them.

Good, because as a hobby,
it is very expensive.

| just need to see 'em.

Okay.

But it's not
as fun as it seems.

First thing in the morning?

Yeah, but you know...
It's 9:00 a.m. somewhere.

I'm good.

You know, I'm good too.

Pierre Despereaux.

What, that's it?
That's enough.

Cause of death, diabetes.

| kid.
He exploded.

We have teeth, part of a foot,
his wallet, and oddly enough

a handful of Gus' things.
(CHUCKLES)

| don't know that it's funny.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Okay, maybe it is.

Woody, Woody,
you don't understand.

This isn't Despereaux.

What?
He's still alive.

I'm pretty sure
that's impossible.

His trial was going poorly.

His money was frozen,

and then we offered
to lead him to
a crate of stolen art.

So he faked his death.

He's still alive.

And we don't have to be sad.

Shawn, | have
some bad news.

I'm afraid
the dental records match.

No.
Yes. We have
a partial print, Shawn.

We have everything
but the DNA, and that
will be in shortly.

It's him.

Trust me on this one, Woody.

There is always a way.

Shawn.
Hey!

Don't rain on it.
I've got a parade going here.

Shawn, | know
what's going on.

He's gone.
Deal with it.

He's not gone!
He's too good.

You've been hiding
from the pain of death
ever since you were a kid.

Let it hurt.
It's gonna hurt.

The only thing
that's gonna hurt
is your pride

when | prove that
Despereaux is still
very much alive.

What if he isn't?

What are you doing?

Adding another joke.

To the eulogy?

People don't like
dealing with death.

Okay, Gus?
They want jokes.

They want Jeff Goldblum
impressions.

They want ironic
juxtaposition
of Rick Springfield lyrics.

Please do not say
any of this, Shawn.

I'm not saying it.
I'm rapping it.

What is wrong with you?

Just yesterday | couldn't
say the world "died"
without you shivering.

Okay, first of all,
don't ever say that.

Secondly, I'll let you in
on a little secret.

Despereaux is alive.

That is impossible.
It's perfect.

| watched him blow up.

| don't know
how he did it, Gus.

But however he did It,
that's how he does it.

If we learned anything
from F/X and F/X2 it's that
anything can be faked

and Bryan Brown
cannot carry a movie.

What about
Full Body Massage?

We both know
why we rented that.

Shawn, | don't think
you're staying in reality.

Trust me, Gus.

Why do you think
he wanted me
to give the eulogy?

Because he's coming.
He's not gonna be here.

He most certainly is.
You wanna know why?

Because that's
what | would do.

Ha.

lam giving
this speech to him.

Don't you think
your take on this
is a little easy?

Easy?

Yes, but life is easy, Gus.

If you really want it to be.

Despereaux is here.

(CROW CAWING)

He's in our hearts.

Maybe in these plants

and maybe behind
that tree over there.

Wherever he is,
| just want him to know

that we can
all feel his presence,

listening to
everything we're saying.

Ah, it's like my dad
here always says,

“Please, help me with my
pants, for | can no longer
control my bowels."

| don't say that.

Come on up here.
| don't wanna.

Come on,
bring me my envelope.

It's gonna clear up
all kinds of mysteries.

Give it up, ladies.

And that dude
in the third row.

How'd he get the invite?
| didn't know
there were gonna be any...

My dad!

My dad.

He's almost always wrong.

He cried at Benji the Hunted.

It's because
he was being hunted.

He's afraid of raccoons.

Because they're terrifying
and wear little masks.

They are.

SHAWN:
The Golden Globe goes to...

Angelina Jolie...

For The Tourist.
(LAUGHING)

Just kidding.
We all Know she didn't win.
She should've.

Nope.
She was robbed.

(CLEARS THROAT)

This can't...
This can't be right.

He's dead.

He's...

Uh...

I've never... I've never lost
anyone close to me before
in my entire life.

Um...

Jesus, how stupid
sad is this?

People die.
It's awful.

And unfair.

And, oh, my God,
Gus is gonna die.

I'm not gonna die, Shawn.

You are. Soon.

Definitely before me
if statistics prove correct.

Which is so wrong,
because I'm practically
asking for it.

People are gonna
miss me so much.

SHAWN: My dad said
this would happen.

| guess | was wrong,
and | should say that now

because God knows
your minutes are
severely limited.

(SOBBING)

JACQUELINE: Sorry to hear
about your friend.

You must have
been shocked.

Yeah, yeah,
and so unnecessary.

Oh, victim of foul play.

Gee, | wonder
who could have done it.

| don't know.

But | bet she kinda liked
the look on his face
as he blew up.

No one crosses me.

| believe you have
something of mine.

Did | borrow your socks?

We scoured the bottom of
the lake and the wreckage, and
it was nowhere to be found,

which means it can
only be in one place.

David Lee Roth's
beach house.

Give me the dagger.

| don't have it.
Really?

It looks a little
something like this.

Do you need a closer look?

What is this,
you show me yours,
| show you mine?

Maybe.

(CLATTERING)

HENRY: Hey, Shawn,
you out here?

Oh, Shawn, there you are.

Talk to you later.
What's going on?

Oh, crap.

Seriously, Spencer,
worst eulogy ever.

It was hilarious and
pathetic at the same time
for all the wrong reasons.

Who was that?
Jacqueline Medeiros.

The woman who
broke into the museum?

Yes.
And she lies. Arrest her.

You have proof of this?

We gotta go.

What the hell happened?

And why does she think
we have the dagger?

Oh, | don't know.

Maybe...

Because of this.

You had that in your pants?

| swiped it off Despereaux
at the bucket

before we split off.
You know what that means.

You're not going after
the Core Collection, are you?

No. We are.

We're gonna make sure
Despereaux didn't die in vain.

Oh, no, we're not.
Give me that.

I'm taking it to the police.

No way. No way.

That dastardly woman
killed the coolest
man on Earth

over this treasure,
and | will not let her
get there first, Gus.

There is nothing in the world
that would make me
give this back.

| will slug you
in the face cartilage, Shawn.

Here we go.
Back to this.

All right,
you know what, do it.

I'm begging you.

lam begging you
to give me your best shot.

Really?
Yeah.

Ow!

That hurts
like the dickens.

Well.

| will strike you back.

| dare you.
| double dog dare you.

| triple dog dare you... Ah!

You went from low to high.

You were ready for that.

That's your problem, Gus.

You brought
a funeral program
to a knife fight.

Come on.
Come on, baby girl.

You want to bumble
with the bee, huh?

Buzz.

What's this?
What is that?

What is that?

(LAUGHS)

Ah!

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Camel clutch.
Take that.

Ask him, ref.
Ask him.
(GROANING)

Don't even try it.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

Ah, what is happening?

| don't know! Ah!

You bit me.
What is wrong with you?

We are going
on a treasure hunt!

Oh, no, we're not.

(GROANING)

Dude, you broke it.
You broke it.

‘Cause you
wouldn't let it go.

Wait a minute.

This broke off
way too cleanly.

Almost like
it was supposed to.

It didn't break.
That piece is a cap.

And this isn't a dagger.

It's a key.

What can you tell us
about the Core Collection?

It doesn't exist.
What if it did?

But it doesn't.

Have you ever
seen a key like this?

Yes. Where did
you get this?

Uh, | drew that.
Really?

Yes,
it's a pressure point key.

It doesn't twist.

It disengages the lock
by insertion.

Now that's
a sexy idea for a key.

It's designed for a lock
that you cannot see
deep inside something else.

Like in a cake.

No.

More like a secret wall
inside an old safe.

Do you have more
of these pictures?

Uh, I'm not clothed
in many of these.

The key, by the way,
would be attached
to some sort of post.

Or a dagger?
Hypothetically.

Hypothetically, yes.

So would you say
these locks were made

around, um...

Get there.
The Civil War?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

No, | would say
that was 1920s.

(WHISTLES)
Have you ever seen
a lock like that before?

As a matter of fact,
| have, yes.

At Mr. Yerden's estate.
That was built in the 1920s.

Have you ever
taken the tour?

No, we have not,
but we will now.

Good. Enjoy.

Don't hurry back.

SHAWN: There is a lock
buried in a wall
somewhere around here

with an opening
that matches this
dagger perfectly.

Will you put that away?
Oh, stop worrying.

Gonna blend.
Nobody's gonna... Ah!

Ah, notice us.

No food.
| don't have any food.

| smell it.
(SNIFFING)

Cheetos.

All right, fine.
It's just a snack.

And a bag of fruit punch.
But don't worry,
it won't spill.

No food, drinks, smoking,

(WHISPERING) flash pictures,
(LOUDER) heeled shoes,

hand lotions,
offensive colognes,

Minnesotans,
tattoos with wolves,

exposed liposuction scars,

lap bands,
hair extensions,
loud noises,

surprising gestures...

Bodily fluids.

All right, I'll lose
the Cheetos.

I've already disposed of them.

(PATS DOWN POCKETS)

| do not repeat,
so you must listen.

Contrary to popular belief,
there is such a thing
as a dumb question.

I'll assume many
of you have completed
the third grade.

If at any time you're confused
by something that you hear,

right, there's a book
in the gift shop to help you.

It's called the dictionary.
Open it up once in a while.

Now who's ready
to have a great time?

Try and keep your lower lip
from dropping to your waist

during the parts
with multiple syllables.

Mr. Yerden spent
the bulk of his life

acquiring the rare works
of art and priceless artifacts

that you see,
but do not touch, here.

Mr. Yerden also dabbled
in painting himself,

but we were never fortunate
enough to see his works
as he kept them to himself.

Do you need flash cards?
Let's go.

Damn it.

The granite in each
handle on the estate

comes from a quarry
on the same site

as one of Mr. Yerden's
greatest discoveries.

Even his crypt,
right here on the grounds,
is made of the material.

Uh, uh...
(GROANS)

Oh, what are, uh...

Pillows?

You Know, | have
a question as well.

What is wrong with you?

| mean, what
| meant to Say was...

What made Mr. Yerden choose
these particular pillows?

You know, if you wanna ask
an unanswerable question,

ask yourself why you
chose to wear that shirt.

Now... Is the dum-dum show
over SO we Can get
to big folks talk?

Really?

Can we get outta here?
I'm exhausted.

You stabbed everything
in this man's house.

| don't get it, Gus.

Maybe the key fits
somewhere else.

Maybe the key fits nothing.

Maybe it was
all an invention.

If I've learned nothing
from this tour,

it's that Yerden
was an egomaniac.

I'll bet he's laughing
in his granite-coated
crypt right now.

What?

Gus.

This is it.

What, the switch
to the water fountain?

No, no, no,
| heard something.

The ground rumbled.
This is it.

(SCREAMING)

Hey.

Banned for life.

Did they really have to
fingerprint us for that?

Cheetos.

| Know what
that key opened.

Wow.

That sly old bastard.

Dude,
there's a centipede
on your shirt.

(GROANS)

Gus.

This is it.

We just gotta figure out
how to open it.

This is a trap, Shawn.

You push the wrong thing,

and a giant rock
comes spinning through here

or spikes come out
of the ceiling,
and the next thing | know,

I'm the skeleton
locked in a perpetual scream

that's meant to scare
some dude 100 years later
for the joke.

My skeleton is not gonna
be a punch line, Shawn.

I've worked
with professionals,

mercenaries,
compromised double agents,

and yet no one's behavior
has been as utterly
confusing as yours.

Thank you.
It's not a compliment.

Well, that depends on your
definition of "confusing,"
doesn't it?

I've spent my entire life
searching for the impossible,

and yet somehow
you've been one step ahead
of me at all times.

Jackie, | told you,
I'm spoken for.

Ha.
Though | do have a skill set

that reaches well
beyond the normal.

Great.

Then you can open that.

Mmm...

See, there's six and, uh...

Don't do it, Shawn.

| don't think he has
much of a choice.

She just got so serious.

Levers.

Why did it have
to be levers?

Open it.
(SIGHS)

(RUMBLING)

“Look behind you."

Don't you just hate
people who kill you?

| mean, really,
the amount of satisfaction
this woman got

from what legitimately
amounts to murder
is mind-boggling.

Oh, sure, we were
stealing the key

to priceless
artifacts from her,

but you don't
have to enjoy it
is all I'm saying.

lam so happy
that you are alive.

Oh, thank you.
Wait a minute.

You son of a bitch.
How could you do that to me?

Oh, never mind,
you're so frickin’ awesome.

How did you do it?
How did | get in here?

Well, you opened
the way, Shawn.

Nice call
with the fountain,
by the way.

I'd have guessed
the stone lions
in the library,

but then again,
I'm a traditionalist.

No, you silly bottom.

How are you alive?

| had a perfectly
good medical school
body on ice.

And I'd already come up
with an exit plan

when you called
with a much better idea.

Hello.
Hello, Shawn.

Well, nothing too important.

I'm actually in the middle
of cutting my hair.

| located your
watch signal instantly.

| just needed more time
to set things up.

This will take a few hours.

| changed a planned
fishing accident
into a boat escape.

| just needed to lose you
along the way.

GUS: So this whole thing was
a setup from the moment
we reached the factory?

Mmm-hmm.

Ooh, how did you
get the DNA to match?

Now that was the problem.

| needed irrefutable proof
that | was dead.

And it would be impossible
to leave a large enough sample

without losing
a hand or a body part.

And I'd seen 127 Hours,
and, well... Ugh.

So | simply did
the next best thing.

| changed my DNA
in the database

to John Doe number 712.

Of course it was
gonna match. It's him.

You can hack too.
| have a guy.

Can you introduce him to us?
Of course.

Guys.
But then again,

| didn't expect you
to swipe the dagger
from me in the factory.

That was a class lift.

I've nothing
left to teach you.

Where is it?

Let's open it together.

Oh.

It's a genie.

It's not a genie.

Gus, don't be ridiculous.
Genies come in lamps.

(GROANING)

You do it.

His ashes?

All this way for that?

It can't be.
It's his legacy.

Even his crypt
right here on the grounds
is made of the same material.

If his ashes
are in the urn,

what's in the crypt?

The student has
become the master.

Let's go.

You're doing a bang-up job
desecrating this guy's
final resting place.

Gus, his ashes
were in the urn.
They were a clue.

In the end,
he wanted us to do this.

(MUMBLES)

(SOBS)

You're not...

You're not crying,
are you?

Well... I'm sorry,
it's just...

This guy's never gonna see
his dog Tartoof again.

His dog's name was Tartoof?

Probably.
(SNIFFING)

Well, you've come
a long way, Shawn.

What you said at my funeral
made me mist up as well.

It was wonderful.
Really moving.

You were there?

Of course,
| was in the coffin.

Oh! | was gonna check there.

That would've been weird.
GUS: Guys.

Can we do this?

It's gotta be Rembrandt's
unfinished portrait
of Alexander the Great.

It was rumored
Yerden had it for years.

Or perhaps it's
a Thomas Kinkade.

Shawn, you really need
to learn another painter.

Yeah, like that's ever
gonna be necessary.

It's breathtaking.

It's crappy.
You're crappy.

Don't know what you want.

He's going for fruit.
It looks like fruit.

This doesn't make sense.

| mean,
he created this hunt,

left all these clues,
leaked the rumor
of this collection,

and all for this?

Mr. Yerden also dabbled
in painting himself,

but we were never fortunate
enough to see his works
as he kept them to himself.

They're his.
What?

Oh.

Harrison Yerden
painted those himself.

These are his most
cherished possessions.

Uh, | beg to differ.

SHAWN:
Think about it, fellas.

This man traveled
to the ends of the Earth,

risking everything
to find beautiful things
made by others.

But the one unattainable goal
that he would never achieve

was to be the object
of one of those searches.

To have someone go
on a quest like ours
for his works.

To be the prize
at the end of a journey.

Perfect.
It's narcissistic.

In the biggest way.

| like the one with the cat.
(SIRENS APPROACHING)

Still crappy.
Gus is crappy.

Your mama's crappy.
You're just plain crapola.

Suck it, Shawn.
You know what,
let's get out of here

before we all get arrested.

I'm never gonna
see you again, am |?

If you'd like
to plan a vacation

to some friendly,
non-extraditing country,

I'd be happy to set up
a weekend for you.

It hurts.

It's real.

| get that now.

We're not gonna get
that 1.6 million, are we?

When the courts release it,

it will go into your account
for about nine minutes,

and then it will
mysteriously disappear.

Don't try to stop it.

We won't accept it.
Oh, yes, we will.

What about the taxes?

You don't have to pay taxes
on money you don't have.

Where do you get
your information
from, Shawn?

Gus, don't be Lao Che.
Who?

The dude from
Temple of Doom.
What?

Remember, they got
on his plane in Shanghai

and flew all the way to India
before the pilots jumped out

when clearly they could
have just not taken off
in the first place.

What does that have
to do with anything?

What?

Hey, team.

| just wanted to apologize
for the scene that
| caused at the funeral.

| Know I've probably
seemed a little crazy
these last few days.

Come on, Spencer,
don't beat yourself up.

| mean, thanks to you
another criminal is dead.

In my book,
you can hold your head up
high around here.

You even found
the five paintings

of the Core Collection
in Yerden's crypt.

This is true.
Wait, what?

The wild goose chase that
rich nutbag sent us on.

We found all five paintings.

There were six paintings.
Six?

Are you telling me someone
stole one of those heaps?

No.

That wouldn't
make any sense.

Hello, Rembrandt.