Original subtitles

Ah, viewers, look at the sun dancing off the water there,

caressing our silhouettes with the most flattering of hues.

Don't you think, Crystal?

Not something I need to consider, Celia.

We've loved sharing our time with you here on the Amalfi Coast.

The scalloped coastline and beautiful villages

clinging to the cliffs

create a truly stunning and historical environment.

Almost as historical as us, eh, Crystal?

SPEAKS GREEK

Well, this is us saying arrivederci from Italy.

Do you think they even like each other?

Oh, of course they do. This is all just show.

It's old-lady humour. You will see.

One day, you will be just like this.

Did you hear that, Mum?

Mama, the first thing you said to me when I opened the door to you

is that you came to save Thalia from my cooking.

So how come...?

..next series of A Taste Of Travel when...

When we set off on a Greek island adventure...

GASPS ..bringing the best local dishes.

And the freshest ingredients.

Directly to your table from that archipelago of the gods.

That's a big word, isn't it, Crystal?

Isn't it? I'll teach it to you later.

Shall we say goodbye? Yes. Let's.

BOTH: Ciao.

I might get to meet them! Mama, they're coming to the islands.

There's so many islands.

So, are you planning on stalking the poor women? Hm?

Oh, my Lord, you are, aren't you?

DOORBELL RINGS

That's Auntie Shirl. Mum invited her for dinner.

Don't give me this look. Try to be nice and polite to her.

She had a bad day.

Shirley, where are you?

Did you see the picture I sent you?

Wait a sec.

No, this is not his boat.

Are you sure? I mean, it's pretty weathered and beaten up.

I went out with him on his boat twice a week

for the first 14 years of my life.

Do you think I would forget?

The old lady knew him.

She said that the boat was down here.

You don't know how many times I've been disappointed.

Yeah, well...

..this is my first time.

Shirley, please come back to Athens. We can have dinner together.

OK.

OK. Bye.

There's nothing quite like the smell of Greek blossoms in the air

as you dine beside the pool.

We hope that last dish helped create

a little of that feeling for you at home.

MAN: And cut.

Thank you, Crystal. You're so very welcome, Paul.

I hope you're hungry.

Mm. I'll go check on the reservation.

Why did I ever let you go, Paul?

If I remember rightly, it was down to my being...

What were your words? Too predictable?

Ah, what a young fool I was.

I don't know how you ever put up with me.

It had its moments.

I'm so sorry, Crystal.

It's been a really long day. Hasn't it just? Where's my phone?

I told you to keep it in your pocket.

I'm waiting for a call from our producer. I told you that.

Yes, I'm so sorry, I... Forgot.

Yes. You and Celia say that a lot.

Are she and the crew back from the other island yet?

I can go and ask. No. I really don't care.

Did it buzz? I-I...

I am... I'm not sure.

Oh!

What did you spray my straws with? I'm so sorry, Crystal.

The almond oil ran out, so I went to the hotel kitchen. They gave me...

It's coconut oil.

I hate coconut.

I expect a fresh set of straws sprayed with almond oil.

Almond delivered back to my room before the end of dinner.

Is that clear?

Here.

But I don't know where I'll find almond oil.

Oh, "I don't know. I don't know." You say that a lot as well.

Remind me, Sasha, how exactly did you get this job?

You gave it to me.

Whatever was I thinking? You knew my father once.

Did I? Theo.

No, I didn't.

Oh, yes.

Theo! CHUCKLES

Small world.

Crystal, reservation's in five.

Oh, fabulous. Thank you, darling.

How many times must I risk food poisoning

for this two-bit production?

I should be on breakfast TV, drinking decent coffee every morning

instead of stuff that tastes like it's been filtered through a sock.

I deserve more than this.

I absolutely agree, flower.

Mwah, mwah.

One of those afternoon quizzes, or what about a radio show?

And where's this face?

LAUGHS That's true!

It did cost you a lot.

How was the segment? Fine. Yours?

Oh, the crew and I had a wonderful time without you.

The island was amazing.

And the food! Dish after dish they brought out to us.

I am stuffed.

I am so impressed

how you've sacrificed your figure for the cause.

A true professional. Well, you know me, Crystal.

Whenever I see something delicious, I just have to devour it.

It's a bit like you and men, really, isn't it?

Well, you've arrived just in time. They're about to serve dinner.

I'm just going to, erm...

Yes. Almond oil. Don't forget.

Coconut oil?

It reminds me of a supermarket cocktail.

Ha! That takes me back.

Do you remember we used to sneak those into the studio

back in the noughties?

You used to love a cheeky wee can of pina colada.

No. You used to love them.

I was only ever being polite.

LAUGHS

Oh, of all the things you ever were in life, Crys,

polite wasn't one of them.

But that's why I adore you. You say your piece.

I do, don't I?

BUZZING Ooh. Erm...

That's, erm... Craig?

Yeah, I can take it later. Oh, no.

Don't mind me. I'll, er... I'll go ahead and get us a table.

Wait a sec, Craig. Erm... a large glass of white wine.

Red! Erm... No, actually, white.

Your wish is my command.

If only!

Craig. What did the commissioners say?

Crystal. What? Who are these people?

We're crashing the wedding, and the guests are arriving. Er...

No. The new series starts in a week, Craig.

It has to be now. I can't work with her a minute longer.

This for breakfast? It's no good.

Why not?

Because you need a healthy start for the morning. Have a fruit.

Auntie Shirl eats them.

Well, I wouldn't follow Shirley's diet, that's for sure.

Mum? Yes.

Why is Dad so angry with you?

Well...

..I guess he thinks that I've changed,

but I haven't, really.

I became more... myself.

What do you mean?

Oh, you know, Thalia, sometimes we pretend

that things are OK, and we do it for the people we love.

So I pretended that it was OK not working and not having ambitions.

And I did it for your dad. But I wasn't true to myself.

And I wasn't happy either.

Why didn't you say that from the beginning?

Because I had you, and I didn't need anything more.

But then you became older, and you needed me even less.

And you didn't wanna turn out like Yaya.

I wanted to be true to myself

and show you that you should be, too.

Hm. Well, in that case, Mum,

eating this pie would mean I would be being extremely true to myself.

Oh!

Five minute warning.

CAR ALARM BEEPS

COWS MOO, SHE SNORES

KNOCKING Now, Sam.

KNOCKING Oh!

Oh, it's the bloody crack of dawn!

KNOCKING

KNOCKING CONTINUES Oh! Yeah, fine.

Hold your horses. God!

Shirley. Er... could you let me in?

I need to hide.

What's going on? Bit early for it, isn't it?

Er... I have just lost five rounds of cards to Ajax,

and I don't have the money to pay him.

What were you playing? Texas hold 'em.

For money? Why do you think I'm hiding?

How much was it?

150 euros.

Oh, yeah?

You know, I was the Rakaia champ at cribbage.

Do you reckon you could teach me how to play Texas hold 'em?

Now? Yeah. Why not?

Er... well, A, I have been up all night playing cards,

and, B, someone is trying to kill me.

I'll pay you.

Er... Hmm.

150 euros?

Yes. Then why not, eh?

Ha! Come sit down here.

So, er... why do you need to know how to play poker, eh?

Well, you never know. Might come in useful.

I could teach the fellas at cribbage how to play.

You are a very strange woman, eh?

Crystal, it's Sasha, I've brought your breakfast.

I'm just popping it on the table.

I know you asked for sourdough, but they only had brown,

so I just got a mixture of them.

Are you sure you're OK?

Crystal?

Somebody help!

GASPS

There we are. Right to the door.

Well, I swear your driving has become worse.

Well, to be fair, back home,

I don't really have to deal with scooters cutting you up

and tourists walking in front of the dirt bike.

It's just a whole lot of dumb sheep.

BAAING

Thanks for the brekkie. Well, you stopped the car,

and you said that you couldn't find the strength to drive

if I didn't buy you cheese pie.

Still, you did, though, didn't you? I didn't have a choice, did I?

I had to go to work, and you're driving my car.

Yeah, well, you got a wee coffee.

Sometimes, you've just gotta stop and refuel.

Especially when you've had a 6am poker game.

What are you talking about? Cards?

Yeah, yeah. Deano came over

and taught me how to play Texas hold 'em.

Oh, Deano, the guy that keeps getting arrested.

Oh, Deano's a good boy.

He's just got in with the wrong crowd.

The very wrong crowd,

and be careful that you don't do the same, Shirley.

Oh, straight as a die, me, sis. OK.

Also, about last night. Erm... I'm sorry for my mum.

She might need some time to... She'll be right.

She'll warm to me. Everyone always does.

Except Sandra from the post office. She never did.

G'day, Sandra. I'm waiting for...

Er... thanks, Sandra. Cheers.

I reckon she was quite annoyed about me and Robbie getting married.

Him being her first love and all.

Sorry, but I'm running really late.

Hey, can I come in and say g'day to George?

No.

Well, I've got your keys. Shall I bring them in?

OK. And then I can say g'day to George.

No. All right.

I'll just bring in your keys.

SIGHS

IN GREEK:

Oof!

Ouch!

Helen. How are the legs?

Oh, it's OK, but I'm not telling Spiteri

because he's trying to find any excuse to send me home.

You will get better soon, I hope.

Oh, George, what is this with the English?

What's wrong with my English?

Your sister said my English is "sweet as", or something.

Oh, that. Well, I don't know what it means.

Well, I don't know what it means.

She calls everything sweet as this, sweet as that, sweet as...

I don't know what it means. You mean like sugar sweet?

George, I don't know.

OK. Yeah.

Oh! You know, I wasn't...

Sorry. Yes.

Oh! Strewth. It's hot in here.

And why are you here? Er...

THEY CHUCKLE

Could you give these to Helen?

Why don't you put that on? It's really toasty. Oh!

It is, er... stop-start, stop-start.

BUZZING

Ah. Broken.

Mm. Do you mind if I take a look?

Huh.

Hmm.

Yeah, I thought so.

I've got just the thing.

Right. Give it a go now.

WHIRRING

Ah! Thank you.

That was sweet as!

I love a bit of DIY.

Yeah, back home, I'm the handyman in our house.

I've got my WAG training, you see.

WAG? Like footballer's wife?

Yeah. Nah.

Worldwide Association of Girl Guides.

I've got six odd-job badges, or seven if you include whittling.

But nobody ever does.

You know, odd jobs.

DIY, you know, like...

Like fixing stuff. Ah. Fixing stuff.

Yeah.

That's good, yeah? Yeah.

Where are we going, mate?

You will be our new handyman, or woman.

Not much money and no regular hours, but...

Well, I've had worse. I'll take it.

Well, that's all Greek to me. What does it say?

It says "women toilet is broken, use men ones".

Oh, so this is my first job?

Mm. Oh, OK.

I'll go get my bag and get sorted. Come on, then, Duke.

Duke? Ah, yeah, yeah.

You know, Duke. Doukakis.

You get it? My first name is Andreas.

Oh, but it doesn't have quite the same ring to it as Duke, does it?

Mm.

Duke. Like a prince or king or something.

Yeah, if you like.

I mean, a fine figure of a man like you needs a good nickname.

Duke. And what about you? Oh, you can just call me Shirl.

Everybody does. Except for Sandra.

She calls me a boyfriend-stealing...

IN GREEK:

The call came in 20 minutes ago.

All I know is that we need to be quiet about this.

This veiled woman has been presenting British television

for decades now.

The British press will be on our backs

the moment they sniff this one out. I see.

Don't mess up. Why would I mess up?

You are new here and under review.

And quite frankly,

I am a little concerned that you are not fully focused.

Sir, I assure you that...

I understand that, er...

having a career and a family is not easy.

I assure you, sir, that it's totally manageable.

It is good to know. Not everybody is cut out for this line of work.

There are many details that can't be missed.

Many roads that lead nowhere, or worse - in the wrong direction.

I am ready for the job, sir.

So, yeah.

Rangi, Shirley.

Cheeky monkey.

They here? Oh, yeah!

I'm your new handyman... woman.

Seriously?

Yeah. That way I can be here to help you whenever you need me.

For what?

You know, like, to get around and other stuff.

Other stuff?

Yeah. Oh, mind you, I need to get back to the hostel and freshen up.

Hostel? You're not staying with your sister?

Half sister. No.

My apartment is really small, and I have my daughter there.

And my mum comes quite often.

Yeah, nah. I've got a nice little room down in Omonia Square.

Omonia Square. It's very dangerous there.

Is it? Oh. I didn't think it was too bad.

I've got a couple of mates already down there.

You see?

BLEATING RINGTONE Oh!

Ah, yeah. Do you like it?

Yeah. Yeah.

My son Murray didn't want me to get homesick,

so he recorded my favourite ewe.

Me? No, no, ewe. That's a sheep.

And I got Thalia to stick it on my phone for me yesterday.

One sec.

'Oh, it's a bit late in the day for you, isn't it?'

HE SIGHS

Heavy rain's expected this weekend,

and I've just been trying to get the girls down from the top hill.

I've been shouting at them for ages, and they're just not budging.

Well, stop yelling at them for a start.

They don't speak human, remember, Robbie?

OK, it's not what you say that matters, it's what you do.

Now, put the tinny down.

Er... how did you know I was holding one?

Educated guess. Now, go and find Elsie and stand next to her.

Remember, a cow's point of balance is at her shoulder,

so if you want it to move backwards, move in front of it,

and if you want it to move forwards, move behind it.

If that fails, give her a tap on the rear, and that'll get her going.

And if Elsie goes, all the rest will follow.

Oh. Well, if you're sure.

As sure as sheep have tags.

Hey, love...

..when are you coming home?

Not long now, love. Yeah.

Gotta go. Give my love to the kids.

Oh.

I love you, too, Shirl.

BLEATING AND MOOING

Elsie!

IN GREEK:

Er...

Good. Good. Lots to assess.

I will be, erm... a little more minutes.

You mean a few?

Sorry?

A few.

Have you noticed the straws?

Yes. They look like they've been dipped.

Some kind of... oil, I think.

The production assistant I spoke to downstairs

told me that part of her job

was to maintain Miss Vale's drinking equipment

so that she doesn't smudge her lipstick

between takes and stain her teeth.

Ah, that explains it. A type of nut oil.

Wow. That's interesting.

There's an EpiPen here. Eh?

SPEAKS GREEK

Ah, yes. This one, and also a karta for the door.

Er... Key card?

Yes. Key card on the dresser.

Hmm.

Yes.

Hmm. Two shower caps.

Can I touch this? I'm gloved up. Gloved up. I like it.

Mm. Yes.

Burned to the wick.

Did you smell this when we arrived? No.

Me neither. Mustn't have been much left in the candle.

Mmm. Honeysuckle and lavender. That must have been nice.

You like perfumed candles? Of course I do.

Who doesn't?

Tell me it's not true. It can't be true! Crystal?!

Madam, the room is a crime scene. You're not allowed to be here.

Celia Maddock, I presume?

That's right. Tell me there's been some mistake.

If you're referring to the death of your colleague, Miss Vale,

I'm afraid not.

Oh!

Crystal wasn't just a colleague.

She was a friend. She was a good friend.

So, you were close? Close?

We worked together for 20 years. Of course we were!

Oh, sorry, I must seem awfully rude. I'm just...

I'm simply in shock.

It's all too much to take in.

I understand.

The constable will look after you whilst I finish up here.

However, I need to ask you some questions

regarding your whereabouts last night.

Well, I was here for a drink after dinner.

Was I the last person to see Crystal before she...? Oh, God!

Oh, my God! Thank you so much. Thank you.

Stop right there. Oh, g'day!

Do you know where the tools are?

Doukakis!

Oh...

Have you not told him?

No. Oh, well, he's gonna be stoked.

Oh, by the way, Duke, can you tell him

I had a nosey in his office,

and I'm gonna come in and fix his shelf?

I don't think that's a good idea. Oh.

And why were you looking through the evidence boxes?

Oh, was I?

Were you? Oh, no.

I was trying to look for some tools.

There's only so much a girl can do

with a toothbrush and a hunting knife.

You have a hunting knife? Oh, yeah, I've got it right here.

No, no, no, you don't need to do that. Er...

Ah, well, I think that went well, didn't it?

Er...

CELIA: What must you think of me losing my head up there like that?

Just the thought of her being a few feet away...

You said that you and Miss Vale had a late-night drink in her room.

Wasn't that late. It was...

I'd left by 9:00, 9:30.

We had the sign-off show to do today,

and then that was our Greek adventure all wrapped up.

Paul, the director, had found this fabulous place

right outside the city with views to die for.

SIGHS

We were just all really looking forward to it, you know?

Mr Lester, can you please tell me when exactly you saw her last?

Well, it was last night at dinner. Well, I had dinner.

Crystal wasn't a big one for eating, full stop.

She was a television chef. Ironic, right?

She had a few allergies

and was more concerned with looking good on camera

than indulging in actual food

that involved anything more than a few lettuce leaves

or skinless boiled chicken. Allergies?

Yeah. A nut allergy and dairy sensitive.

Paranoid about plastics. Said they'd be the death of us all.

Well, oil on the straws matches the swab from the victim's lips.

Peanuts.

Well, according to her director, Crystal Vale had a nut allergy.

This is what the EpiPen in her room is for, I assume.

I couldn't read the label.

The shop assistant at the supermarket assured me

that it was almond oil.

And you took their word for it? Yeah. Why wouldn't I?

Well, because the woman you were responsible for

had a life-threatening peanut allergy.

Yeah, well, I never would have used it if I had any doubts.

And you might like to know that the key we took had both her prints

and somebody else's. OK.

So, do you think it could be the receptionist?

Well, no, because I took a set of their prints

to rule them out before I left.

You're good at this.

Yes, I am. Amongst other things.

OK. Bye, George. Thank you.

She sounds like she had a lot of strong opinions.

In Crystal's mind, her opinions were facts.

Everyone else was wrong.

And that is personal experience, you would say?

You went for a nightcap in Crystal's room.

You know what they say. When in Rome, or Athens.

Miss Marks? Sasha.

She said you came to her room for some headache pills.

It's this heat. I'm not used to it. Getting old.

Sasha's like a walking medicine cabinet.

I suppose that's her job, isn't it? To remember what we forget.

Not that she does.

I think this is her first time as a production assistant.

She's absolutely awful.

All of this because I accidentally used the wrong oil?

Why would I want to hurt the one person who gave me a break?

Maybe because she destroyed your family.

Who told you that?

I think Crystal only put in a word for her because she felt guilty.

Guilty? Oh, has that not come up yet?

Crystal had an affair

with the girl's father years and years ago, but...

Broke the family up, you know?

I never let on to Sasha that I knew,

but I didn't wanna embarrass the girl.

But why she'd want to continue

to work with Crystal after that is beyond me.

But then again, maybe she didn't know the full story.

She was a child, after all.

And... TV production's a tough industry.

Very tough.

Take your breaks where you can find them,

even if they're offered by the enemy.

Did you know about your father's relationship with Miss Vale

when you took the job?

I don't remember any of that. I was just a kid.

I mean, maybe she did give me the job because she knew my dad.

Maybe she did give you the job because she felt guilty.

I never saw Crystal feel guilty about anything.

It sounds that Miss Vale was not a very nice person.

You didn't like her that much? Not much, to be honest.

Enough to change the oil on purpose?

How was Miss Marks when you saw her last night?

Hm. Yeah, fine. The usual Sasha.

Bag of nerves, that girl.

I think Crystal had given her a bit of a hard time that day.

We've been traipsing about this archipelago for several months now.

Don't get me wrong.

Yours is a beautiful, beautiful country,

but I think we're just all ready to go home.

Poor Crystal.

I can't believe she'll be going home in a box.

Miss Marks, do you speak any Greek?

Hello. Goodbye. Thank you.

That's it? Why would I? I'm not Greek.

OK, let's talk about the name in your passport, shall we?

So, it's Sasha Crystallia Markakis.

It sounds a bit Greek to me.

That's private property.

Miss Marks, you're a suspect in a murder investigation.

You never said anything before about me being a suspect.

You asked me to come here to help with your inquiries.

Yes, and we appreciate it.

But since you arrived, new evidence has come to light.

Like what? Like this.

My father's Greek, my mother's English.

Marks is my professional name. It's easier to pronounce.

So you are half Greek?

Yeah, but that doesn't mean that I can speak Greek or read it.

But it does mean that you might. Well, I don't.

I want a solicitor. Very well.

Interview with Sasha Markakis suspended at 2:42.

Can I go to the toilet? Of course.

Follow me.

The bathroom is down the corridor.

Don't you want to guard me or something?

Only guilty people try to escape.

If Crystal's death had anything to do with the oil on those straws,

it was an accident.

Accidents happen.

Yes, they do.

What was that about?

I don't know yet,

but it's something Shirley said earlier about cows.

Well, what did she say?

It's not what you say. It's what you do that matters.

That girl reads Greek.

Lunch.

Sorry, I know it's late,

but do you want to eat this before we start again?

It's got cheese in it. Yes. So?

I'm lactose intolerant. Oh, erm...

Why didn't you say that from the start?

Didn't come up.

Like your real name.

Is there anything else you wanna share with me that hasn't come up?

KNOCKING

Excuse me.

Helen. You'll never guess. So don't make me.

The peanut oil on the victim's lips and straws is...

SPEAKS GREEK

Refined? Yes, refined.

But refined peanut oil does not cause an allergic reaction.

So Crystal Vale didn't die as a result of an anaphylactic shock?

There is no evidence of this. So, then, what?

She drowned in the bath? There was no water in the lungs.

So it appears she stopped breathing before she slipped down.

Why didn't you tell me that our dad was a cop, H?

It could have had something to do with why he went missing.

You should have told me.

We're not gonna speak about it now, OK?

I'm in the middle of a murder investigation.

I-I think.

SIGHS

So...

..if Crystal Vale didn't fall asleep and drowned...

Which rules out an accident.

..and if she didn't die of an allergic shock to peanut oil...

I don't know. Maybe the young woman wanted to kill her.

But there is no proof that she did.

And if it was not an accident

and Sasha Markakis didn't kill her, then...

Someone else did. Hm?

Have you noticed there's a lot of people carking it around here?

INAUDIBLE

What are you looking at? No-one. Yes, you are.

That's the lady from the TV show.

Stop it. She will think we're watching her.

You were! Celia Maddock?

That's it. Celia Maddock.

Oh, Yaya will be so mad she didn't come out with us.

Stop watching her, now! You're one to talk.

You've been eyeballing them all through dinner.

There's something about those two I cannot put my finger on.

I can tell. I bet you they can, too, the way you've been rubbernecking.

Yeah. Mum, stop embarrassing us.

I'm not. She hasn't looked our way once.

Too busy flirting with her director.

They're like ghost droppings.

Mm. Do you reckon those two are...? CLICKS TONGUE

Stop it!

Where? Where is she? Show me.

Hold up the phone.

It's so exciting.

GASPS

She's talking to Crystal Vale's ex-husband.

What?

Paul Lester.

He used to be married to Crystal Vale.

Take me to see, Leah.

No. Please.

She won't mind. Yaya's a big fan. TV stars love meeting their fans.

Thalia...

Helen, my only child...

Yes? ..make a dying woman happy.

One minute. No more. Go, go.

Is Alexa dying? What?

Oh! Oh, no, no.

This is something she says when she wants her way.

Right, yeah. A mum guilt bomb. Exactly.

Ah, yeah.

CHATTERING

About the boat, I've been thinking that maybe we could...

Shirley...

..I know you wanted it to be a lead,

but I've been looking for my father...

our father... for such a long time.

There's just so many pieces to the puzzle that just don't fit.

What about Spiteri? Where does he fit?

I mean, he looked pretty matey with Ari

in the photos I found in his office.

He must know something.

Well, Mum told me that him and Dad used to be good friends once.

They joined the force at the same time.

Served together for many years.

When Dad left, Spiteri opened a missing person case.

But whenever Mum asked how it went,

the only thing he told her is that, "Stay out of it."

So the only thing he was willing to share with her

is that it seemed it had evidence that Dad left on his own free will.

Who knows? I think something happened between them.

This is why me being there gets so much under his skin.

Maybe if you just took him for a beer

and could ask him what happened...

No. No. It was a long time ago.

What's important to me right now is keeping my job

and a roof over Thalia's head

so that my ex-husband doesn't claim custody.

Whatever Dad did, he had many years to make it right.

He chose not to.

End of story.

She is so nice.

Yaya couldn't believe she was actually talking to her.

Celia and Paul said I could go with them tomorrow to their last shoot.

They're doing the series sign-off. No.

But, Mum... Thalia, no, it's not appropriate.

They're both witnesses to a murder case I'm working on.

Well, that's us off. It was lovely to meet you, though. Thalia.

G'day. I'm Shirl. Oh, Shirl.

Nice to meet you, Shirl. Is that an Aussie accent I hear?

Yeah, nah, a Kiwi.

I'm her auntie. Oh.

So this is your lovely family, then, Detective?

Yes. Thank you.

Mr Lester, you didn't mention you were married to Crystal

when we spoke at the hotel.

Oh, that was many, many moons ago.

Didn't even occur to me. Paul was husband number two.

Almost my number one.

Excuse me?

Celia and I were engaged briefly before Crystal and I.

Oh. That's all water under the bridge now.

Best leave the past to past, is it not?

Although it sounds like poor Sasha couldn't.

Such a sweet girl.

It's hard to believe she could have poisoned anyone. Even Crystal.

Yeah, well, some people do hold on to past grudges.

Mr Lester, when you are saying, "even Crystal",

you two didn't get on?

Oh, don't mind me. It was a throwaway remark.

Crystal and I were on very good terms.

Well, Crystal certainly was, hm?

Her divorce lawyers took you to the cleaners.

Two husbands, ten years later, he's still paying alimony.

Or he was.

SHE LAUGHS

Sorry. Just my way of coping. I'm actually in shock.

I'm glad your appetite is unaffected. Nice meal?

I-I owed Celia dinner for finding my wallet.

I lost it after I first arrived and thought it was gone for good.

But... We'd been sitting by the pool,

and I spotted it in a nearby bush.

How lucky is that, eh?

Someone must have pickpocketed him on the first night here,

grabbed the cash, chucked the wallet,

and it'd been sat there ever since.

Thankfully, all the cards are still in it. So, here we are.

I'm not one to renege on a promise.

Except promises of marriage.

THEY CHUCKLE

As I said, I don't hold on to past slights.

Life's too short,

as our dear friend's sudden passing has reminded us.

I mean, imagine meeting your maker in a bubble bath. So banal.

Oh, I don't know. There's worse ways to go.

I mean, a bath's not too bad. Better than a slurry pit.

What's a slurry pit?

PHONE BUZZES Excuse me. I need to take this.

Yes. There is a...

SPEAKS GREEK

Pinch print.

Yes, a pinch print on the left corner,

and Sasha's prints cover the rest of the card.

Well, Sasha admits that Crystal gave her the key card the night before,

but it was missing by the next morning.

A maid confirms letting Sasha in with a breakfast tray.

To make sure she has a witness, huh? 'It would be a smart move.'

And Miss Markakis is much smarter than she makes out.

She probably planted the card as soon as she got in the room.

So Sasha is still our main suspect.

For now. CHATTERING

One second.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, Mr Lester, just one quick question.

When was the last time you spoke to Crystal?

Erm... last night on the phone, I think.

About nine or ten, I think.

It was 9:30. I remember because I checked my watch.

And you two were still speaking when I left the room.

I understand. So, you were the last one to see her alive.

And you, Mr Lester, were the last one to speak to her.

Great.

Thank you so much for your time. Goodbye. Have a nice evening.

Girls, I have to leave. Now?

Yes. I will pay the bill.

You stay here and enjoy yourself, though.

I'm sure we can manage that. Where are you going?

Work. I'm sorry.

KNOCKING, SPEAKS GREEK

Room service.

I am so hungry. Thank you. I was just...

Something to look forward to, then. OK, so, let's get started.

You know, you are like a... a drill sergeant.

I'm the mother of a 15-year-old.

I AM a drill sergeant. Thalia is 15?

Wow. You must have had her young. Mm. Not really.

Normal age, I would say.

Still, it must be hard, you know, bringing up a child on your own.

Well, her dad is around.

Oh, he is?

He's around because we have shared custody.

Not that he is around the whole time in the house. Oh, OK.

Actually, you know, Thalia said that he's on a dating app,

so he's obviously dating.

Dating app? What is this?

Dating app. Dating app.

And you are on this... dating app?

Me? No. No. God, no.

You know, putting all that personal information on Internet,

being in our business, I'm telling you,

I know how vulnerable that leaves you to online crime.

Yeah. So you are not on the dating app,

but you are dating?

Me? Yeah.

Erm... you know, actually, I haven't, erm...

I...

OK, let's get started before it gets too late.

Yes? Yes. Yes, of course.

So, what are we looking for that we haven't found already?

Well, if I knew that, we would have found it.

Put your gloves on. I need this.

Yes. And that.

Oh, and maybe that.

So, her moisturisers and the rest? All at the lab for testing.

Yeah, we're looking for...

Find anything? No. Pretty standard stuff.

90% water, most of it.

And some of those old used Q-tips. And one of those bath foam...

Fakelaki. Sachet.

The English word for fakelaki is a sachet.

Sachet. Mm-hm.

Honeysuckle and lavender. Same as the other one.

Lavender is the best.

Oh, OK.

Look what we have here.

Two hotel shower caps.

One was on her head, so the one on the floor,

I think that was her own.

That awful-looking thing with a pink heart.

I think she bought it in Greece because it had a Greek label on it.

This is Elena's Essentials,

and we have this tested at the lab, too,

but only the victim's fingerprints were found.

Considering the frontrunner cause of death was asphyxiation,

I'm wondering why the killer left both caps in the room.

That's a really important question,

but can I have my dinner now, please?

Yes, you can.

MOUSE CLICKS

You left the camera rolling when you all went for a swim?

OK. You would say about 9:30?

Great. Let me check something.

OK.

Yes.

Yes. OK, I will need to take this for investigation,

but I will give it to you afterwards.

Thank you so much for your help.

So, that's my Murray. He's a good boy.

And this...

is my eldest, Mary.

Look at all those monkeys.

I know. That's in Bali, in a place called...

Oh, check this out.

Uluwatu.

Marge, my youngest, showed me how to get the metadata

off Mary's photos so I can see where she's been.

Metadata, hey?

That's the right word for it, isn't it?

Yeah. Does she know you're stalking her?

Oh, I'm just curious to know all the places she's been.

All these great places.

I didn't get to travel much, you see.

Used to walk outside my gate,

and I wouldn't see anybody for as far as the eye could see,

let alone monkeys.

Until now. Yeah. Until now.

I didn't really want to come to Greece.

No? Well, not to live, anyway.

I liked London. It was hard, moving here.

Why did you move here?

It was my dad.

He got a big job here and shared custody.

So Mum had no excuse not to, as she's Greek anyway, so...

Parents can be a right pain in the backside.

They really can.

I mean, making decisions that you have no control over.

Totally.

I mean, fancy my mum not telling me who my real father was.

Yeah, that's not OK. No.

Mind you, I guess she didn't want to upset old Muzza.

That's my other dad.

They're both gone now.

No point in holding a grudge.

And now you've found us.

That's right, T, I have.

And you are my favourite niece.

The one back in New Zealand is a right little blighter.

THALIA LAUGHS

Can you pull up Crystal Vale's phone records for me, please?

Oh, and ask if there is a shop in Athens called Helena's Essential.

If there is, find out if they sold a shower cap with pink hearts

in the last few days and who bought it.

No, no. Tomorrow's fine.

I'll be in early, yes.

Thank you.

So, we're thinking about egg. Oh.

Good evening, Detective. We've got to stop meeting like this.

Indeed. Had a nice evening?

BOTH: Yes. Very.

Considering the dreadful circumstances, yeah.

Of course. Just Paul and I

going over good times.

We both loved Crystal very much.

She had such... verve.

Anyway, Celia, I've just gotta run, so I'll call you later, OK?

OK. Detective.

Ah. Excuse me. Is Mr Lester not staying here?

Yeah, he is. He's just got some things to attend to.

At this time of night?

Oh, that's Paul, always burning the candle at both ends.

Needless to say, Crystal's death has thrown a spanner in the works.

Mm.

Well, I'll say good night, Detective. Miss Maddock.

Just one quick question.

At the restaurant, you mentioned Crystal

being in a bubble bath when she died.

Did I? Yes.

How did you know it was a bubble bath?

She mentioned something about it before I left that evening.

I just presumed.

Hmm. I see.

Well, the wedding party video shows you there just after 9:30.

Yeah. As I told you.

But you didn't arrive at Sasha's room for another ten minutes or so.

Oh, I had a headache,

and I... I went outside to get some fresh air by the poolside,

realised I needed to get some painkillers,

so I stopped into Sasha's room on my way back to mine.

If that's all, Detective,

I'll say good night. I am fit to drop. Of course.

Good night...

..Miss Maddock.

Interview with Sasha Markakis commencing at 8:50am,

5th of October, 2024.

Present in the room is Detective Helen Moustakas,

the suspect, Sasha Markakis,

the suspect's brief, Stavros Papadopoulos.

Sasha, we have footage showing you approaching Crystal Vale's room

at 9:54 on the night of the murder

and exiting her room eight minutes later.

That's not true. I never left my room that night.

Is there anyone who can vouch for that?

Er... Celia came by at, erm...

I don't know when, but she came by

asking for a couple of headache tablets.

We chatted, and then she left.

And then? I went to bed.

Well, Sasha, we have visual evidence showing that this is not the case.

I'm not lying. I swear.

Look, I admit I hated her, OK? She ruined my childhood.

And I'm not gonna lie and say I'm not happy she's dead.

But if the peanut oil didn't get her, it didn't work,

and her being dead has nothing to do with me.

Mr Papadopoulos, your client has just admitted

to wishing to cause Crystal Vale grievous bodily harm

and is, at the moment, the main suspect in a murder case.

Crystal Vale was attacked whilst being alone and vulnerable

in a bath.

So, Sasha, you entered the deceased's room

at the approximate time of her death wearing the crew jacket.

I didn't even have it that night.

I left it in the restaurant at dinner.

You can ask the waitress at the hotel.

The young one who's always there. Black hair. Bob.

She brought it to me from the kitchen, asking me whose it was.

You could have planted there the night before. I didn't.

OK. Can you tell me, do you remember

how long did Celia Maddock stay in your room?

Five minutes. Less, maybe.

She wanted a couple of headache tablets.

I gave them to her. She went.

And how did she get out of the room?

Via the patio door.

She'd left something by the pool that she wanted to get.

What? She didn't say.

OK.

Interview suspended at 8:55.

I mean, that chocolate just sounds incredible.

Well, it's amazing what they can deep-fry, you know? Yeah.

Deep-fried ice cream, deep-fried Mars bars.

That's astounding.

Yeah, they'd deep fry you if you stand still long enough.

Good morning, Miss Maddock. Celia, please.

Shirl here was just telling me about lambing season.

And Ceils was telling me about deep-fried Mars bars in Scotland.

Interesting. Yeah. Choice, eh?

God, I'm definitely gonna put Scotland on my bucket list now.

Good. Yeah.

You got some... Oh, yeah. Yep.

That door won't plane itself, so I better rattle my dags.

And... Nice to see you, Ceils. You too, Cheryl.

If I don't see you through a week, I'll see you through a window.

Oh! Yeah! Cheerio.

She's quite a character, your sister, isn't she? Half sister.

So, what can I do for you, Miss Maddock?

Well, I thought I'd pop by.

This is our last day of filming before we leave tomorrow.

Wanted to check up, see how Sasha's getting on.

You know, it's going to be very strange

filming without her and Crystal, you know.

I just can't believe she's gone.

Actually, you're coping very well.

I'm really surprised.

Well, you know what they say - the show must go on.

So, how is she holding up?

Ah.

Now that you mention it, please, I want to show you some material

from the bridal party camera footage.

So, I want you to confirm for me whether this person here,

as far as you can tell, of course, is Sasha.

Yeah. That's her there, yeah.

And you can recognise Sasha from that?

I recognise her, yeah.

Even though the person's face is all obscured?

Yeah. I mean, Sasha worked for us... with us for nearly a year.

We travelled across Italy together, through Corsica.

Of course I recognise her. Yeah. OK.

That's really helpful. Thank you.

Is that everything? For now, yes.

OK, well, say goodbye to your sister for me, won't you?

Half. But I will. And that lovely daughter of yours.

Thank you.

And your mother. Such a sweet lady. Mm. Yes.

It's a glorious smell, isn't it?

It's like... Is it like lavender?

I shall always think of Crystal when I smell that.

Why is that?

Good question.

I think it was from, er... from yesterday in her hotel room.

Just the perfume from her candle still lingering in the air.

Look at me, getting all melancholy.

And what's the name of it in Greek?

Actually, it's a similar word to the English.

Levanta. Levanta.

Lavender, levanta. You know.

Well, I'll say cheerio, Detective. That's my lift there.

So, take care of yourself. You, too. Farewell.

And enjoy your last day in Athens, Miss Maddock.

You look a bit sus.

Can you not just speak plain English?

Plain English? Yeah.

Yeah, nah. I speak Kiwi.

Ah, she's a good sort, isn't she, Ceils.

She's really charming, isn't she?

Yeah. Hm.

Miss Maddock. Hello. It's Detective Helen Moustakas here.

Sorry to trouble you again,

but I need you to come back to the police station

to answer a couple of questions before you leave,

so please call me back as soon as you hear this message.

Thank you.

SPEAKS GREEK

SPEAKS GREEK

Mr Lester. Hello. It's Detective Helen Moustakas here.

I'm afraid I have to bring you to the police station,

so please call me back as soon as possible. Thank you.

'Mr Lester? Hello. It's Detective Helen Moustakas here.

'I'm afraid I have to bring you to the police station,

'so please call me back as soon as possible. Thank you.'

Ready to go home? SHE SCOFFS

Desperate. I miss my bath.

Didn't your room have a bath?

No. Crystal had the only room with a bath.

Our friend Crystal always got her way, didn't she?

She certainly did.

Just 12 more hours.

I'm counting every one of them, sweetheart.

Speaking of which, see that god-awful shower cap she had?

Very, erm... What's the word? No words.

It was sent by a secret admirer, apparently.

One with very poor taste, I must say.

Oh, hey. Hello. Hey. Oh, well, well, well!

Miss Maddock.

Please, Celia to you, seeing as we're friends now.

Celia presents a TV show called A Taste For Travel.

Hi.

Celia and I are on our way to do the series sign-off.

The offer to join us still stands. Is that OK?

Yeah, sure. Jump in. OK. Well, I'll see you later.

See you tomorrow. Bye. Bye.

Oh, God. I forgot to fasten my seatbelt.

Right, buckle up.

Yeah. We want you to be safe, now, don't we?

Ah. That's the door all done. Mm.

Hmm. You look a bit stunned. What's all this?

What's up?

I'm trying to make sense of all this.

Ah.

The answer is here. What are you doing?

Don't put your sticky fingers on that!

George hasn't processed them.

It's evidence of crime, for God's sake!

Sorry. I'll just stick to scroggin.

It's a balaclava. It's just a bit... It's baklava.

That's what I said.

If it was what you said, why am I correcting you? Huh?

Beats me.

OK, let me think. OK.

On the night of the murder, Crystal invites Celia to her room,

and the two women have wine

until Crystal gets a phone call from Paul Lester.

The bridal party footage,

Crystal's phone records and Celia herself confirm

that she left the room at 9:28

whilst Crystal was still on the phone.

The records show that she stayed on that call for another five minutes.

So, Crystal finishes her call, picks up the wine

and goes into the bathroom to run a bath.

She finds a lighter, she lights the candle

and she puts it on the side.

That's the point that I get stuck. What's next?

Well, I'd imagine she takes off all her clothes and gets in the bath.

That's normally what you do when you have a wash.

And puts on that fancy pink shower cap.

Well, no, because this...

She wasn't wearing it. This was on the floor.

I prefer a hat.

In the bath? Yeah, it stops my ears getting cold.

Mind you, sometimes, I nod off

and the hat falls in my face, and it goes all black,

and I get a bit of a fright, and I have to pull it off.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!

It was on the floor...

because it was...

..over the face when...

Must be something here.

Bingo! You see? You see a lipstick smear here?

Just about.

OK.

This is our murder weapon, my friend.

Over a person's face,

this thing can suffocate the person in less than one minute.

You'd have to be pretty strong.

Or catch them off guard.

OK.

Crystal had her back to the door, so she wouldn't realise anything

until the moment that she started being suffocated.

And the killer would have put the cap back

exactly where they found it.

OK, let me call...

SPEAKS GREEK

Have you got the card records of the person who bought the shower cap?

Right. Thank you.

Off we go. Where?

We're going to arrest Paul Lester.

Paul, sweetheart, have you seen my sunglasses anywhere?

Well, have you left them behind? I hope not.

Hold on a sec. Are they on the side?

No.

Sure you brought them with you? I hope so.

Hold on. Wait a minute. They're in the glove box.

Weird what some people leave in rentals.

I should call my mum, let her know where I'm going.

Oh, wait till we get to the location.

I hear the views are really beautiful.

You can take some selfies and send them to her.

OK. And Yaya, she'd love that.

Are you sure? Whatever you like.

Oh, that's Robbie. I've been waiting to hear back about a ewe auction.

Could you take a look for me, please?

It's actually Thalia. Oh. That's nice.

In a car. Don't panic.

She's probably just with mates. Her mates don't drive.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God, she's with Paul Lester!

Wait. I'll have to call her.

LONG BEEP

Nothing. She doesn't answer. Send a text.

OK. "Where are you, Thalia?"

PHONE VIBRATES "Hi, Mum. I'm with Celia.

"They're letting me see last day's filming.

"I'll send selfie when we get there."

What are you...? What are you saying back?

"Where are you?" OK.

"I'm in a church." Smiley face.

Oh, my God. Like she could be in any church

in any village in Greece, all over the country.

Hang on, sis. You don't wanna keep asking questions.

This Paul Lester fella might cotton on.

Hey, my daughter is in the same car with a murderer.

What do you want me to do? Yep.

I agree, it's not ideal, but panicking her won't help.

How am I going to find her if I don't ask her where she is?

Pull up the photo. OK.

Sorry. I'm just... I'm losing it. OK. Yeah.

OK, OK. Click the little doodah in the corner. What's a doodah?

Dots. The dots. Then say dots.

OK. Where is it?

I don't know. It's-It's heading west.

What's west? Is there a tourist spot?

Yes, there is a hill overlooking the...

OK, click on the map. Oh, my God.

Hold on to your pants.

Wow!

Look at that glorious view.

Have you ever been here before?

No. We've not been back in Greece for very long.

I don't see the crew van.

Looks like we're the first ones here.

Why don't you wait here for them and I'll take Thalia up the top?

Celia, Celia.

I think it's best that we keep her here.

Nonsense. Why?

Because she's a minor,

and we only have her word for it that her mother gave consent.

I think it's best we keep her here till the crew come by.

It's me you're talking to now. I'm the sensible one, remember?

You don't have to deal with Crystal any more.

I'm aware she's a child. I will look after her.

Look at her wee face. Look, she's bored out of her skull.

At least let me show her where we're shooting.

HE SIGHS

Come on, Thalia.

I'll wait down here till the rest of the crew come by,

and I'll bring them up.

SHIRLEY: We can't go down here. It's a one-way street.

Well, otherwise we have to go back and then round.

I don't know.

You really weren't in the Girl Guides, were you?

Are we going any higher?

Because I'm not very good with heights.

Nonsense. Get your phone out,

and we'll take a photo for your grandmother.

And your mum.

Oh. That's bonnie.

PHONE BUZZES Oh. Wait, it's Thalia.

Well, that's that Celia woman. Oh, my God, we really have to go.

But this is a one-way street. Yes, just break the law.

We have to go. She might be in danger.

Go, Shirley. Go! Righto. Righto.

Oh, a photogenic wee thing, aren't you?

And slim.

I was never slim, you see.

Well, everyone's different. Beautiful in their own way.

What nonsense.

That's just something skinny wee girls say

because they have absolutely no idea.

Well, I didn't mean to... It's all right. Never mind me.

I'm just a bitter old bag.

That's what comes of 15 years of fattist abuse.

Sorry? Fattist abuse.

The likes of which I suffered at the hands of Crystal Vale

every single day of my working life.

She sounds mean.

Mean.

That's like calling a tiger a pussycat.

She was a first-grade narcissistic monster.

AS CRYSTAL: "Oh, darling, are you going to wear that? So brave."

LAUGHS MOCKINGLY

But now she is no more.

So that solves that problem. Come on.

I think maybe I should call my mum and let her know where I am.

Don't touch that phone!

Oh, sorry. Just tired.

It's all this business with Crystal. I just...

I just wanna get the sign-off done and get on a plane home.

Must be hard having to do the show alone without her.

SCOFFS

Thalia, it's a walk in the park compared to doing it with her.

That woman...

She took over my show.

She took over my career.

She took over my life.

See Paul down there?

Him and I probably would have been married with a couple of kids by now

if it wasn't for her taking a shine to him.

She couldn't bear to see me happy, her.

She always had to have what everyone else had.

It's no wonder Sasha wanted to do her in. We all did.

You don't mean that.

Don't I?

Let me let you into a little secret, seeing as it's just us girls here.

Do you think that silly wee lassie..

..had the smarts to take down a behemoth like Crystal?

No.

Takes a David to bring down a Goliath.

I don't understand.

Me. I'm a David.

A mousy sidekick.

A nobody.

But it's the likes of me that make the world go round.

And the likes of Crystal only decorate it.

All chicken and no stuffing, her.

'Not that she'd ever let anything as fattening as that pass her lips.

'Those years of...

'..fantasising about it, and in the end...

'..the wee girl just made it easy for me.'

She set herself up.

All I had to do was to...

..seize the moment.

You know it's gone to voicemail, don't you?

Mummy can't hear you now.

Well, this is a surprise. Where's my daughter?

She's just up there. Celia wanted to show her the view.

We're just checking out the... You're under arrest.

Why?!

We found evidence of you buying the murder weapon

that killed Crystal Vale.

What are you talking about?

A shower cap with pink hearts, purchased using your debit card.

Well... that-that couldn't have been me.

My wallet was taken on the first night.

Celia found it in the bushes, remember?

Of course. Where is she?

She's up there. They literally went, like, two minutes ago.

OK.

IN GREEK:

Oh, strewth. Right. Let's go get her.

No. But Thalia...

No. No. But I've gotta go and help.

No! Stay here.

I need you to call the police and make sure they're on their way.

But stay here. Righto.

You go get her, sis.

Celia, I'm... No.

Please don't do anything. Bring her away from the edge.

Please. I'm just approaching. I wanna talk to you.

Oh, finally. Eh? What kept you?

Thought you're supposed to be Greece's best detective.

Celia, let Thalia go. Why would I wanna do that?

Ah! don't touch that. OK, OK. Please.

Please, Celia, don't hurt her.

Don't hurt her, please! Put it down.

To take it off, I have to touch it.

OK. But you touch the gun and the wee one flies. OK.

Look at me. I'm just touching my belt now, OK?

Here, here. No, no, no.

No guns, no guns. This is between you and me.

Now you can let Thalia go, please.

That's not good. I don't think I agree to that.

There's... There's no way out of this.

Well, you see, life has taught me there's always a way out.

Right. Oh...

I just want my safe passage home. The witch is dead.

You have your suspect and all the evidence she needs.

She'll have admitted to attempted manslaughter by now, I imagine.

Clever woman like you

could turn that into first-degree murder.

Or you could follow the trail of evidence

leading to that adulteress clown down there.

Take your pick.

It's not as simple as that, and you know it.

Are you simple as that? Yes, it is. The credit cards, the gloves.

All admissible, I think you'll find,

unless you have already discovered Paul's fingerprints

at the very top of Crystal's key card.

I was quite proud of that particular sleight of hand.

Paul didn't kill Crystal. You did.

Well done. But only you and I need to know that.

You're not going to get away with it.

So you're gonna have to make sure that I do.

So how about you and I come to some sort of agreement

right here, right now?

And your wee one here will be back in the safe bosom

of her lovely family.

That mental mother of yours and that nutjob Australian sister.

All that drivel. What a numpty!

All that drivel about sheep. Is there something...?

Oh!

What's she doing? It's not sheep shearing season!

Take her hands. Behind her back. Tie her up. All right, go ahead.

You've got absolutely no evidence against me.

Other than a recorded confession on my mum's voicemail?

Who's the numpty now, eh?

CELIA SIGHS, SIREN WAILS

Where's Paul? Paul?

This is all for you, you know!

Call me! CAR DOORS CLOSE

Thank you. Oh. Family, eh?

SHE SIGHS

What was it that she said about me?

Didn't she call me an Australian?

And that you speak drivel.

Yeah. Drivel.

Cheeky dag.

I don't go on about sheep that much, do I?

Do I?

What's wrong with sheep, anyway?

THEY LAUGH

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