Original subtitles

- I wish I had your face.

- Well you haven't.

So tell Debbie what you want.

I don't know what I want!

- She has a lovely round face Debbie.

But she doesn't need anything to exaggerated it.

And she needs a color.

- I like being gray.

- And don't listen to her when she says that.

It's a desperate lie and she's peddling it for years.

- I don't want to go over the top.

- When's that ever happened?

- My kids will think I'm mutton dressed as lamb.

- Mutton dressed as lamb still looks like lamb,

and that's have the battle.

- It's the entire war.

- From the horses mouth.

- Heather will think I'm absurd.

- It's not about your kids now Paul, they're grown up.

- The first thing to remember about a fire extinguisher

is that it's not a toy.

It might look big and red and full of fun,

but you must fight the urge to blast your family,

as they sit down to Sunday,

'cause you could take someones eye out.

Now, when I find myself approaching a fire extinguisher,

I always tell myself to be serious, to be responsible.

Bloody hell, who took the?

Who took the safety pin out of that?

- Do you think I'm the only woman

that has ever found my my Kevin attractive?

- No, no.

There was a blind school who he went out with for a while.

She had terrible eye sight.

She had to wear an eye patch, didn't she Martin?

- What, Kev's girlfriend,

yeah. - Aww.

He's not like your Charlie though is he.

Put's on that uniform, women hurl cat's up trees,

hoping he'll come round and rescue them.

- Very nice. - Mm-hmm.

- When you actually find the one,

you feel so lucky.

- Yep.

I'm the lucky one.

- Because some people in the world

never have our kind of luck and they make do,

or they don't do.

And everyday I have to pinch myself

that someone like Charlie could ever fall in love with me.

- But you're fantastic.

- Aww, we know that.

But some people think because I'm a little bit older,

it's four or five years actually,

that I'm some kind of mother figure.

Which is nice.

Get your feet off the coffee table.

I'm joking!

I'm joking.

No, actually, get your feet off.

- Yeah, a smoke alarm is a fireman's best friend.

But 90% of deaths in house fires

are cause by smoke inhalation.

So the correct installation of smoke alarms in your house

are gonna save the lives

of the people that you love the most, your children.

- Louise?

Heather McCallister.

Do you remember?

I danced in a Flamenco competition at the sports center

last September.

- Yeah, hi.

- Oh, I though you danced really well.

- Thank you.

- Are you doing the competition

at the Guild Hall this Friday?

- You?

- I'll be there.

- This bloke is gorgeous isn't he?

- He's my husband.

- Yeah, but seriously.

- No, seriously.

- He's not your Flamenco partner is he?

- No, he's not my Flamenco partner.

He's my husband.

- I've got leaflets here, and where best to site the alarms.

And we're doing community initiative,

where we're offering free home visits

to install the devices.

- Is it Carl you dance with?

Is he your husband?

- No, Carl's as camp as a row of tents.

No, I'm divorced.

Good luck Friday, yeah.

- Thank you.

Jealousy's odd isn't it?

It's like you but isn't you.

It's like that thing in "Alien"

that just bursts out of your stomach

and looks around for a bit, snarly and--

- Yeah, and everyone can see it.

- Exactly.

You were have a perfectly pleasant breakfast

with all the other astronauts and suddenly it's.

- Family meeting please.

Family meeting before you leave.

Will all member's of the Paradise family

please join me here at Fire Tender 2.

Heather!

- What is it Kev?

- Mom and dad,

what are we gonna do about getting them back together?

- Have any of you actually talked to your mom

since you grandad's funeral?

- No, she turned her mobile off.

- I rang Auntie Rowan's house,

but she wouldn't come to the phone.

- Why is mom doing this?

Why is she ruining our lives?

- Put the microphone down.

- Are you cooking for your dad?

- Yeah, but he's just fixing his cars

and going down the pub.

He ain't mentioned her once.

- Why are we trying to fix things?

Why don't we just let your parents

sort it out for themselves? - Right, I've got a plan.

So just shut up everyone. - Don't talk to

Michelle like that!

- We've got to make sure

they're both coming to Joseph's birthday.

Are they coming Martin?

- Yeah, they should be, yeah.

- Did you enjoy your lovely little chat?

- Who with? - who with?

- She said she danced Flamenco with you.

- And did she book in to have her alarms installed?

- Yes. - Well I hope

you're not gonna do it!

- Not if you don't want me Heater, no.

And did she tell you she's divorced?

- What? - what?

- Heather, can we not turn this into the Jeremy Kyle Show?

We've already got estranged couple in the family,

I can't cope with two.

We've got to come up with a plan!

- You said you had!

- Okay, yeah.

I saw this work once in a Quintin Tarantino movie.

I tell dad that mom's missing him.

H, you tell mom the same.

They'll both think the others given first

and before you know,

they'll be in Las Vegas renewing their vowels.

- Vowels. - Sorry,

which Tarantino movies this?

- Let it go.

- Is your mom definitely coming to the party?

- Of course she's coming,

she's never missed of he grandchildren's birthdays.

- Turn it off!

- It's the sort of thing that would kill her!

Turn it off!

- Did I buy Joseph a space hopper last year?

Oh, oh, oh.

- Have you turned into a monkey?

- You'd look fantastic in that.

- No, Rowan, I wouldn't.

I'd look like you.

- You've never let me shop for you have you?

If I'd done your shopping for your entire adult life,

we wouldn't be in the state your in now.

- Ow. - In your anorak

and your yogurt down the front.

And youre casual trousers

that would disgrace a French lesbian.

- Code red, code red, look!

- Bloody hell, bloody hell!

Run for it!

- What is it?

- Just run for it.

Leave the shopping. - What is it?

- Quick, it's Tommy's wife.

Quick!

- We've got these signals,

a kind of code for the kept woman.

Code blue is he's free all weekend.

Hang on, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

Well it is, that's what it amounts to.

- Green is.

- I'm out to pasture.

- I'm unable to see you.

- And red is panic, the wife's around.

- And you should panic, the thing she's said about you.

I think in another life

she may of had bunny boiler tendencies.

- I'm sure she's a very nice women.

- Arms good.

Arms are much improved.

Rhythm, rhythm, look at me.

Heather!

- I am looking at ya!

- No, look at me with red hot desire.

I wanna see lust in every part of you're body,

popping out of fleece.

Ashley!

I'm a married women, you can't talk to me like that.

Ashley's the marketing manager of the club,

and he's the one who got me into Flamenco.

- And he dresses up as the club mascot on match days.

Sky Blue Sam.

- And occasionally he'll combine both his passions

and Sam will do a bit of Flamenco on the touchline

in hour of the Spanish left back.

- Oh, he's lovely though isn't he?

Here.

I was in the dentist once.

- Only once?

- No, but was a few years ago

and there's a article in a magazine that haunts me.

- About teeth?

- No. - No.

They'd taken pictures of 10 couples on their wedding day,

cut the photos down the middle.

Gave the bride photos to 100 and the grooms to 100 women

and ask them who thought the most attractive.

It ranked them one to 10

and the couples completely matched up.

10's have married the 10's

and the one's had got stuck with each other.

- Oh, I think I'd be a four.

- I think Charlie would be a nine.

And I think I'm a six, maybe six and a half

when I wear Monsoon trouser suit.

- Heather, you are...

- What?

- You are a very handsome woman.

What did I say?

- You say the would handsome to a woman,

it means you think she looks like a horse.

- Then I meant stunning.

I meant surprisingly attractive.

Okay, you and Charlie

are the most in love couple I've ever met.

I can't imagine a couple

more perfect for each other than you two.

Senorita.

- If I turn the lights out,

I can get my arm positions right in the window.

- That's fine, that's fine.

I often dress up myself, turn the lights.

When you're out the flat.

- Turn 'em out, come on, give it a go.

- No. - Please.

- No. - Please dance we me Charlie.

Just once.

Come on. - All right.

Wait.

- All right. - All right.

What do I do?

- Right, stand like this, your arms like this.

And think think Spanish.

- Right, Thinking about paella.

- Now do this.

- My nose.

- Are you all right?

- I will never be able to play the kazoo again.

Ooh.

Heather.

- Why not?

- Okay.

- Let me get out of this dress.

- No, the dress is great.

Keep the dress on.

- Why?

- No reason.

- 'Cause you can imagine I'm someone else?

Louise, little tits, Anderson maybe?

After she's won the cup on Friday.

- Heather.

- What?

Hi!

Where is he?

Where's my Joey?

Happy birthday sweetness.

- Hey, what do ya say Joe?

- Can I open them?

No, you say think you.

Hiya Dad, you all right?

- When's nanny coming with my present Grandpa?

- Joe. - Don't know love.

We've got a trampoline!

We've got a trampoline!

- It's not up yet.

- Let's go outside - Yay!

- Is Charlie here?

- No.

- He isn't? - No.

Hiya.

- How long have you been dancing?

- Oh, about five years.

Have you ever though about taking it up?

No, it's not my thing.

I like my sport.

I like doing my radio show, I like my job.

- There's not a inner Spaniard inside of you

bursting to get out?

- There is, but he wants to play Barcelona,

not prance around with a pair a pair of maracas.

- You should definitely be dancing.

- Is it the second on on the landing?

- Yeah.

There's a beer in the fridge if you want one?

- Aye, thanks.

- Did you tell mom what we planned?

- She ain't answering her phone Kev,

I thought I'd talk to her her.

- Kev told Dad she was missing him, he didn't say anything.

- I said she'd bought a shotgun

and was thinking of shooting herself.

- Well that's neither true nor helpful Kevin.

- Why sugarcoat the thing?

- Auntie Heather, Auntie Heather.

Our trampolines up,

can we go on it now? - What did dad say

when he said that?

- Just said pass me spanner,

started putting the trampoline up.

- Look Daddy! - Do you think she'll come?

Daddy look at my present!

Don't answer the phone, this is serious!

- It's mom. - Oh my god!

Kids, out now!

It's mom on the phone. - Mom?

- Is he there?

- Yeah, dad's here.

And he's missing you terribly mom,

he's all over the place.

He's bought a trampoline

and he's been putting it up for the kids.

- I got the trampoline.

- Sorry, Kev got that. - We got that?

- Shh. - How much was it.

- Cheap one, but safe.

- Are you gonna come over mom?

- Did he get Joseph a present?

- Did dad get a present?

- Yeah, he got him Roald Dahl book.

Look, we're all her mom, are you gonna come over?

Dad said he'd love to talk to ya.

- Give Joe my love.

I can always tell when heather's lying,

she touches her nose.

- You can tell them on the phone?

- He just assumes I would get present,

like I've got every present for the last 40 years.

- We should still go to the party.

- Why?

- 'Cause Joseph will be upset.

- It's good you've done this Paul.

Life will get better for you now you've left him.

- Now I've left my husband.

- You've left a world of pain honey, not a man.

And it's been difficult to watch you down the years.

This is the first time we're going to get drunk together

for 40 years, so take you jacket off

and let's find a Tom Hank's movie,

and stare at his buttocks!

- Hey, Nathan, give us a spin.

What's wrong with you, you moody sod?

- You all right?

- I'm off the rugby tour to France.

- What?

- They say dad hasn't paid.

- Kevin, you said you'd written cheque!

- I did! - Well you haven't paid Dad.

- Nathan, I wrote the cheque, I promise.

So why am I off the tour then?

- Because it must of bounced, but I still wrote it.

It'll be fine, Sarah, fine.

- How?

- Because I promised him he'd go and he'll go.

Why the black look? - How much

was that trampoline?

- Did you see that black look?

- Hmm. - Why is no one missing

Grandpa Frank?

- They are Scarlet.

- It's the first birthday any of us have ever had

where's he's not scoffed all the best sandwiches

and no ones even mentioned him.

It's like no one mentions my mom.

Do people just forget them?

- Well, this week it's Joe's birthday.

And last week your Auntie Pauline

had a barney with your Uncle Ken.

Life goes on, it doesn't mean that people

that used to be here aren't missed.

- When are you gonna talk to mom?

Dad!

- She'll be back.

- You don't know that.

Don't you think maybe you should do something

to show her how much she means to ya?

- I don't do flowers.

- Well, what do you do?

Because she's not psychic.

A women needs to be shown how much she's loved, Dad.

That's she's thought of.

- Here you are. - Where have you been?

- Oh, just for a run.

- Why didn't you text?

- I did, didn't I?

- No.

I thought you'd go straight to the radio station.

- No, I've got half an hour.

- Come on Charlie, five-a-side man.

- Kev, know that money that went missing from the rugby club

the night of the quiz?

- Yeah?

- Garry said that some prat's returned it in and envelope.

With, sorry, written letters cut out of a newspaper.

- Sounds like somebody's been to many films.

Yeah, crap films.

Hey.

Here, Charlie, charlie.

Ha ha, cool.

Come on!

- In all your years Paulie, Paul.

Do you think kinetic Ken's every strayed?

- No. - You sure?

- Well, he fancied a barmaid down the Hare and Squirrel

for a couple of years.

I used to lie awake,

listening to him talking about her in his sleep.

And he'd say, "Ruth, get off!"

- And have you strayed?

- When would I have the time?

- But you're free.

Have you done this because you're seeing someone.

- No, no.

But there might be someone.

Who?

He gave me a poem.

He gave you a poem?

- Yeah, and he's a widower.

He's name is Peter Bachman.

- Bachman.

- He's a teacher and he gave me a book when I retired,

with his number in it.

- The randy goat. - No.

- Oh yes! - No.

Oh yes!

- Randy Bachman!

We're gonna get some more wine

and we're gonna poetry book with the secret number.

- I'm not ringing him up.

- We most certainly are! - No!

- Hey, hey.

A car just pulled up in the drive.

- Well, it won't be Tommy.

- The bunny boiler.

It's Tommy's wife.

- Oh my god, code red, code red.

- What happened?

- She don't wanna see us.

Give us your keys, Scarl, had enough of this.

- And me.

ow!

- What's going on?

What are you crazy cats up to?

Are you drunk?

- There's something different about you.

- It's her hair.

- Do you like it?

- It doesn't look like you?

- Yeah, it's lovely.

- Can we just say one thing, Mom?

Which is that we love you and we'll upset too

that Grandpa Frank died.

And we're sorry that we didn't think about

what you were going through when it happened,

but it's not because we don't love ya.

With all hearts.

- Thank you.

- I love you too Martin. - All right.

- And You H.

And you Auntie-- - Concentrate Kevin.

- But I'm not going back to your dad.

- Is there someone else Mom?

'Cause I think we'd all understand it more if there was.

- I wouldn't.

- Yeah, but you'd try though.

- No, I wouldn't.

- Well, maybe there is.

- Who?

- And maybe's she's going to ring him up

and see if this weekend.

- It's just that, maybe's there's something new out there

that might be better for me.

- This is ridiculous.

Who cares if there's someone out there more suited to ya.

What does that mean anyway?

- H. - Why are you looking

at someone else?

- Because I want to.

- Why don't you care about your husband?

The man you've committed to.

Or don't you care about what he wants?

- Because I've done that for years.

Now I need to put my myself first, H.

- This is frightening.

- H, Heather!

- Who want's a cup of tea?

Uh, yeah.

- Do you want me to put the recycling out the front?

- Erm, yeah.

- Ooh, so helpful.

- What that all about?

Welcome back to Late Night Banter,

with me, Charlie--

Hiya, you're through to Louise Anderson.

Please leave a message after the tone.

Thank you.

- My biggest fear?

- Oh, this'll be interesting.

- My biggest fear, I suppose, is not being happy.

Whatever that entails.

And I think that you are unhappy,

then you owe it to yourself to change things.

Louise Anderson?

- I just put the phone down.

Had this big speech in my head.

I was gonna refer to Camilla Parker-Bowles

and Imogen Thomas and Kristen Stewart.

But it was 25 minutes long,

and in the shock of actually hearing it was her,

I panicked and couldn't remember how it started.

- Little pigeon breasted, plain faced, Louise Anderson?

- She is exactly his type, Ashley.

She's pretty. - Oh, come on.

- Oh, she is really pretty, Ashley.

And she's sexy, in sport center kind of way.

And she's nice, and threatening.

And she's fertile.

- Do you really think something happened?

I don't know.

Maybe it was just an innocent fire prevention visit,

I believe they can happen.

- But you see, if it's her now,

it's gonna be someone, at some point.

Jealousy don't come from nowhere.

It comes because you feel threatened,

and you feel threatened because there's a threat.

And the reason jealousy is so painful is because

it's a alarm that is insisting you wake up to that threat

and don't sleep through.

- Was that part of your speech?

- It was towards the end, yeah.

- Good you kept it to yourself then.

Talk to charlie. - But he'll lie.

Already there lies.

And now, he's gonna see me humiliated by her in your stupid

dance competition. - Hey look!

We are gonna win that.

You get your arms right, we're better than last year.

She'll live with some snaky hipped gay guy

and I'll be clumping around with a man

who spends half his life dressed

as an eight foot elephant.

I really want him to see me win it Ashley.

What do say?

- You say, "Hello."

and you ask him if he'd like to see the film

and you ask him to come round, pick you up.

- I want to over egg the hand of friendship.

- No, that be sticky.

But he can still come and pick you up.

- Why am I doing this?

- Because you're going forward sweetheart, not going back.

Hello.

- Is he a looker?

- Hello. - Hello.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Hello. - That's not the only thing

you say.

- Mr. Bachman? - Pauline?

- Yes. - How nice to hear from you.

- This may sound odd,

but I'm no longer living with my husband.

- You don't have to say that.

- Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

- Peter, I was wondering if you'd like to see a film?

"The Great Gatsby".

You know, from the book.

Hello. - Don't start all that again.

- I'd love to see the film with you.

Shall we say tomorrow?

- Tomorrow?

Yes.

- Tea.

Dad.

Thank you.

- Just on the off chance that you're bothered.

Mom's had her hair done and is off on a date tomorrow night.

With a man who Martin said has wooed her with poetry

and, no doubt, will progress to flowers.

The phone is on the tray.

Could be a window cleaner

and do the local streets.

- Oh no, no, no.

They protect themselves with guns and knives that lot,

they're mafia.

- Window cleaners

have a mafia?

- Yeah. - Hello.

All right.

One second.

- Hey, Charlie, don't leave us.

- Yeah, why you leaving us Charlie?

- Who is she? - It's H?

- It's H?

You touch my sister,

you touch me. - Come back again Charlie!

- I want her dead!

You know.

- Hello.

- I heard you program last night.

- Oh, poor you.

Have you recovered?

- You were really funny at times.

- At times?

Only at times?

- Well, you weren't funny during the news.

That wasn't funny.

- I know, the news is poor.

Louise, the weather's sometimes hilarious,

but never the news.

- Did you get my text?

- I did, yeah.

- Charlie, one of my alarms isn't working.

- Okay, have you checked the battery?

- Yeah, I've changed that yeah.

- Okay, well, it's probably more serious

and we can pop along and change it.

- Okay. - This Saturday?

Midday? - Yeah.

- I'll put that in the book.

- Okay.

Bye, bye, bye, bye.

- Bye.

- Oh, thanks for looking this out Scarlet,

but are they Spanish enough?

They're sexy, but are the Spanish?

- Oh, I know what I've got got,

and they're from Madrid airport.

- Oh, find, find.

- They are genuine Spanish tat.

- Oh, that's bound to impress the judges, subconsciously.

Won't it.

Oh, Charlie's gotta see me win this.

Is this your mom?

- Yeah.

- You been looking for her online?

- A bit.

Please don't tell my gran.

- Oh no, of course.

- Oh, earrings!

- Let's have a look.

Oh, thank you!

They are perfect!

What do you think?

- Are you all right? - Why shouldn't I be?

Apart from the weirdness of being with my mom,

who's taken her wedding ring off to go on a date.

- You must be Peter. - Yes.

Well, come in, come in.

I'm Rowan, the sister.

- Pleased to meet you.

Hello Pauline.

- Mr. Bachman.

- And Heather, the daughter.

- Right.

- What time you getting her home?

- Half past 10.

- No later.

- No, you stay out as long as you want!

Now come on, you'll miss your pre-film bar meal.

Of you go, come on.

And you won't need that.

- Yes I will.

Yes I will.

Yes I will.

- I've just seen mom, looking beautiful.

Going off in another man's car.

- What kind of car were it?

- Jaguar S-Type.

- Hmm, what year?

- Dad, can we not talk about the car?

Can we talk about the women in the car

and the fact that she took her wedding ring off

before she went out.

I've been watching her for the last 10 minutes

and there has been nothing.

Not even eye contact between her and Charlie.

- Well that's good.

- That's awful Ashley.

That's highly suspicious.

Can't believe you don't know that.

- H!

I've got you a drink.

- Ah, Ashley, come and meet everyone.

These are my brothers.

Martin and Kevin. - Hello mate.

- Hi. - And Sarah, Abby and Nathan.

- Didn't recognize you without your trunk mate.

You wouldn't win, but you'd get a few laughs.

- Charlie, who you know. - All right, mate.

- This is my dad, Ken.

Dad?

- The competitors,

in tonight's heat of Strictly Come Cov are,

from Binley Woods, Mr. And Mrs. Barry Clow.

From Chapplefield, Mr. Sebastian Clacka

and Miss Georgina Ratatatigan.

From Woolsgrove--

- Hey. - Hi.

- You look lovely, great earrings.

- Thanks, have you put on weight since the last competition?

- No. - Oh.

- From Ernesford Grange, Mr. Carl Tylsley

and Miss Louise Anderson.

- That was cheap.

- Yep, come on Ashley.

- From Radford, Mr. Ashley Roehampton

and Miss Heather McCallister.

- You been here before?

Yes, yes.

I'd come here occasionally with my wife,

before the cinema or theater or a concert.

- What was she like, your wife?

- In what way?

- In everyway.

Was she tall, short?

Did she have an eye patch?

A parrot?

Was she.

Oh, stop me before I make a complete fool of myself.

- Well, she was a teacher.

- Oh, was that how you met?

- No, we met through the parrot.

Do you need to get that?

- No, it's fine.

Sorry, just a second.

- What?

- You're on a date!

- What's it to you if I'm on date?

- So quickly!

You must of been seeing this muggins behind my back!

- Ken, no, I was not seeing a muggins behind your back.

- I bet it's that prat from the school isn't it.

Who give you that book of poetry.

- It is not the prat from the school.

- Oh yes it is!

- So she was a teacher?

- Yes, yes.

- And is this the first date you've had since she died?

- It is, yes.

- One second.

- I am with a man who used to go on dates with his wife

to the cinema.

- I took you to the cinema once.

- It was "Herbie Rides again",

and it was so long ago we go there by tram.

I am with a man who knows how to give a women a good time!

- Are you sure you wanna see the film?

- Yes, I am.

And I hate this hair.

- Well, mess it up then.

And let's go Paulie.

- For our final dance,

can we have our four Flamenco couples please.

- Whatever happens you danced beautifully tonight.

Now, as the dance off continues,

our judge Jefferson will point at the couple to eliminate.

We'll then be left with our winner.

- Come on Heater! - Good luck to you all.

Go Heather!

Well done Heather!

- One's gone - One down Heather.

Yes!

Go on Heather!

Ole!

- That was brilliant, yeah. - Thanks.

So you gonna come round tomorrow midday, yeah.

- Ah yeah, great, oh, I love the music.

That was absolutely great.

Absolutely great.

You're not going to put that

through his windscreen are you?

- That is my wife.

Who are you?

- Vivian, Tommy's wife.

- Oh, hi.

- Hi.

You get all prickly, don't you,

when you see them together.

But it passes.

Do you find it passes Mr. Paradise?

- My first time.

- Oh.

Even though I've know, oh almost all my marriage

that to keep a man like Tommy I have to share I him.

But for my marriage to be as good as it is,

I have to let him have a life away from me as well.

- It doesn't sound good.

Your marriage sounds shaky.

- All marriages are vulnerable Mr. Paradise.

Otherwise being married wouldn't be worth anything would it.

- Do you want this?

- I'll have the next one!

- I feel like we should be celebrating.

I feel like we should be parading the trophy

on an open top bus.

- Ashley, bloody, Roehampton!

This is my favorite frock!

- No!

No, no, no.

- Night then.

- Well done tonight.

- And you.

- Night then.

You can come in and get a towel if you want.

- Yeah, all right.

- Oh, by the time that we'd met.

I'd had a number of girlfriends.

- Gail, Lisa, Lisa's sister, Lodwin.

- But I never felt like I'd been in love.

And I said to my mom, I said,

"How do you know when you've fallen in love for real?"

And she said, uh, she said, "Because you do."

"And one day you'll walk into a room

"and they'll be violins playing

"and they'll be trumpets going off and"--

- And you'll of wandered into a concert hall.

- No. - And the orchestra

will have starting

playing without ya. - No, no.

And it'll be love and I'll be you.

Bang, like that.

Well done for tonight.

- Yeah, shh.

- What was the film like?

- Quite interesting.

Everyone was very young.

Nice costumes, quite loud.

- Pauline, I'm not interested in the film at all.

Did he give it a go?

- Rowan. - Oh come on, it's fun.

Are you seeing him again? - He said he'd call.

- Okay, when?

- I don't know.

- Well, if he doesn't text within a day he's a swine.

And if he doesn't call within, he's off your list.

- I hardly have a list.

- I'm making one for you.

- Well I'm off then? - Where?

- To see Grandpa Frank.

- I'll come with you if you give me half an hour.

- He's not a swine.

He's not a swine Paulie.

- It's Ken.

Roses are red, violets are blue,

I'm doing car but thinking of you.

Probably took him all morning to write that.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Last night shouldn't of happened Ashley.

Sorry.

- Okay.

- Are you sorry?

- Don't know.

- Oh, don't say that you big fool.

- Oh no, you're right, you're right.

It should of happened, it shouldn't.

But something was gonna happen wasn't it.

I love you Heather.

I love everything about you and I have done for a long time.

I love the way you look, the way you talk.

How you get stroppy, how you make me laugh.

You're eyes.

I love seeing you every day and I can't help thinking,

if things had been different things would be different.

And I've seen you think that.

And I think that maybe, maybe.

If you thought about that magazine article

it wouldn't be Charlie,

it would somebody who looked like me

that you've been matched up with.

- Yes!

You're mom used to draw.

When she was tiny she'd come and stay

and she'd draw me meadows full of wild flowers.

- Oh hello love, I've come to change a faulty alarm.

- Right, come on.

It's just up there. - Oh, right.

- Terry David, how you doing my man?

- Ah, good to see you

again mate. - You all right?

Good to see you man.

- Out, into the palace of dreams come the Sky Blues.

With today's opponents scared to death by the voracity

of the crowds raw.

Very, very excited by today's match up.

We're all right aren't we, H?

- Yeah, of course.