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- ♪ MTV
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00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:12,186
[theme music]
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00:00:12,316 --> 00:00:13,490
- ♪ I'm goin' down
to South Park ♪
4
00:00:13,491 --> 00:00:15,449
♪ Gonna have myself a time
5
00:00:15,450 --> 00:00:16,929
- ♪ Friendly faces
everywhere ♪
6
00:00:17,060 --> 00:00:18,844
♪ Humble folks
without temptation ♪
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00:00:18,931 --> 00:00:20,063
- ♪ I'm goin' down
to South Park ♪
8
00:00:20,150 --> 00:00:21,933
♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
9
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,719
- ♪ Ample parking day
or night ♪
10
00:00:23,849 --> 00:00:25,503
♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor" ♪
11
00:00:25,634 --> 00:00:26,722
- ♪ I'm headin' on down
to South Park ♪
12
00:00:26,852 --> 00:00:28,854
♪ Gonna see
if I can't unwind ♪
13
00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:32,118
- ♪ [mumbling] ♪
14
00:00:32,119 --> 00:00:33,336
- ♪ Come on down
to South Park ♪
15
00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:35,165
♪ And meet some friends
of mine ♪
16
00:00:39,213 --> 00:00:42,433
[twangy guitar music]
17
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:45,306
- Betsy! Betsy!
Guess what?
18
00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:47,263
My dad took me
to the Asian pop-up store.
19
00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:48,439
Look what I got.
20
00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:50,789
Serenity Labubu.
21
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,009
- Oh, it's so cute!
- Isn't it?
22
00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:54,488
- I was at
the Asian pop-up too.
23
00:00:54,489 --> 00:00:55,577
- No way!
24
00:00:55,707 --> 00:00:57,056
- Yeah, look what I got.
25
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:58,753
The Loyalty Labubu!
26
00:00:58,754 --> 00:01:01,017
- Oh, my God, it's so cute!
27
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:03,279
- I know, right?
- Yeah, I love it.
28
00:01:03,280 --> 00:01:05,239
- Oh, dude, dude,
check it out.
29
00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:06,327
It's about to happen again.
30
00:01:06,457 --> 00:01:07,762
- Ah, shit.
31
00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:10,113
- I actually have
Loyalty Labubu already,
32
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:11,548
and I have a little costume
for it.
33
00:01:11,549 --> 00:01:13,769
- That is seriously so cute.
34
00:01:13,899 --> 00:01:15,945
- Kenny, you guys,
girls with Labubus.
35
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,163
It's about to happen again.
36
00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:19,078
- [muffled speech]
- Come on!
37
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,471
- And then, believe it or not,
38
00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:23,126
I actually have
Chestnut Cocoa Labubu.
39
00:01:23,213 --> 00:01:25,736
- No way!
That is the rarest one.
40
00:01:25,737 --> 00:01:27,217
- Isn't it so cute?
41
00:01:27,348 --> 00:01:29,915
- So thinking cute!
But it's really rare.
42
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,047
Are you sure
it's not a knockoff?
43
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:32,135
- Oh, dog, here we go.
44
00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:33,788
- Yeah, I checked.
45
00:01:33,789 --> 00:01:35,921
If anyone's fake, it's probably
yours, you fat bitch.
46
00:01:36,008 --> 00:01:37,619
- Suck it, skank!
- Eat shit!
47
00:01:37,749 --> 00:01:38,794
- Stupid slut!
48
00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:40,535
[screaming, cheering]
49
00:01:40,665 --> 00:01:41,710
- Ahh!
50
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:43,755
- [screams]
51
00:01:43,886 --> 00:01:44,843
- Yeah, yeah!
52
00:01:44,930 --> 00:01:47,194
[blows landing]
53
00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:48,847
- Yeah, yeah!
- Hey!
54
00:01:48,978 --> 00:01:51,240
Hey, hey, hey, hey,
break it up, break it up!
55
00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:53,722
- She's rubbing everyone's
noses in her Labubus.
56
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:57,246
- Both of you to the
counselor's office, now!
57
00:01:57,247 --> 00:01:59,162
- She totally started it!
- I did not.
58
00:01:59,293 --> 00:02:00,729
Shut up. I did not.
59
00:02:00,816 --> 00:02:02,513
- She came up to me
at my locker with her Labubu
60
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,035
and started talking shit.
61
00:02:04,036 --> 00:02:07,083
- You talk shit about
my Labubus every day, whore.
62
00:02:08,389 --> 00:02:09,868
- Um...
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00:02:09,999 --> 00:02:11,653
yea, love your enemies
64
00:02:11,783 --> 00:02:13,742
and pray for those
who persecute you.
65
00:02:13,829 --> 00:02:16,352
- Tell her to stop saying
my Labubus are knockoffs.
66
00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:19,748
- I-I'm sorry,
what is a Labubu?
67
00:02:19,835 --> 00:02:21,401
- It's a little
monster accessory.
68
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:22,620
- They come in blind boxes,
69
00:02:22,751 --> 00:02:24,187
so you never know
which one you're gonna get.
70
00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:25,623
- Like, you could just luck out
71
00:02:25,754 --> 00:02:27,581
and get a Time to Chill
Pajama Gold Labubu.
72
00:02:27,582 --> 00:02:29,018
- Oh, my God,
that one is so cute.
73
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,367
- It's so cute, right?
74
00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:32,847
- Uh, all right, ladies,
75
00:02:32,848 --> 00:02:34,631
w-why don't you just
give me the dolls
76
00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:36,198
until the end
of the school day?
77
00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:37,635
both: That's not fair!
78
00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:38,984
- Go on out to recess.
79
00:02:39,071 --> 00:02:40,856
You can pick up your Labubus
after school.
80
00:02:40,986 --> 00:02:43,640
- Wow. What kind of counseling
was that?
81
00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:45,643
- I don't know, Jesus sucks, dude.
82
00:02:45,774 --> 00:02:47,992
- Our old counselor
was so much better.
83
00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:50,952
[melancholy music]
84
00:02:50,953 --> 00:02:56,828
♪
85
00:02:56,959 --> 00:03:00,005
[kids screaming]
86
00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:01,441
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
get some more over there.
87
00:03:01,442 --> 00:03:03,051
- This side's starting to fall.
88
00:03:03,052 --> 00:03:04,400
- We are the kings
of the castle!
89
00:03:04,401 --> 00:03:05,794
Let us in!
90
00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:07,230
- Hey, Butters.
91
00:03:07,361 --> 00:03:10,364
- Oh, well, uh, hey, Red.
92
00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:12,888
- Um, I was just wondering
93
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:14,411
what you're doing this weekend.
94
00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:19,459
- Who, me?
95
00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:20,895
- Yeah.
96
00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:22,723
Um, I'm having a birthday party
at my house,
97
00:03:22,724 --> 00:03:26,858
and I was seeing if maybe
you'd want to come hang out?
98
00:03:28,947 --> 00:03:30,687
- You're talking about me?
99
00:03:30,688 --> 00:03:32,646
- Yeah, I don't know,
it's probably stupid.
100
00:03:32,647 --> 00:03:34,388
I shouldn't have asked.
Never mind.
101
00:03:34,518 --> 00:03:36,215
- No, no, I'd love to come
hang out with you
102
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,259
on your birthday, Red.
103
00:03:37,260 --> 00:03:38,260
- Really? You would?
104
00:03:38,261 --> 00:03:39,261
- Well, sure!
105
00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:40,697
- Okay, that's great.
106
00:03:40,698 --> 00:03:42,133
I'll text you all the details.
107
00:03:42,134 --> 00:03:44,005
- Okay, Red,
I'll see you there.
108
00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:45,616
- Okay, and um,
109
00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:47,356
maybe I'll text you
my birthday wishlist, too,
110
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:49,098
in case, you know,
you want to get me a present.
111
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:50,969
- Sure thing!
112
00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:55,713
Oh, my God, you guys,
113
00:03:55,844 --> 00:03:57,671
Red wants to hang out with me!
114
00:03:57,672 --> 00:03:59,586
- That's incredible!
115
00:03:59,587 --> 00:04:01,328
- Bro, it seems like
she really likes you.
116
00:04:01,458 --> 00:04:03,504
[phone chimes]
117
00:04:03,591 --> 00:04:05,984
BUTTERS: "Really excited
to see you Saturday."
118
00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:07,290
Whoa.
119
00:04:07,421 --> 00:04:09,423
Me and Red.
- Lucky.
120
00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:10,772
[notification swooshes]
121
00:04:10,902 --> 00:04:14,514
BUTTERS: "Here is my birthday
gift wishlist."
122
00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:16,255
[notifications swoosh]
123
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,259
"This exact Labubu."
124
00:04:21,565 --> 00:04:26,004
Holy shit, you guys,
you know what I think?
125
00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:28,484
I think on Saturday I'm gonna
find out if red-haired girls
126
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:29,746
have a red bush!
127
00:04:29,747 --> 00:04:31,358
- Wow!
- Wow!
128
00:04:31,488 --> 00:04:33,447
[upbeat music]
129
00:04:33,534 --> 00:04:34,969
- ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
130
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:36,580
[singing in foreign language]
131
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♪ ♪
132
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- Welcome to
City Asian Pop-Up Store.
133
00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:46,981
Can I take a order, please?
134
00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:49,811
- Wait, didn't this place
used to be City Wok?
135
00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:51,987
- Yeah, but whole country
change.
136
00:04:52,117 --> 00:04:52,944
Didn't you hear the news?
137
00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:54,641
Wok is dead.
138
00:04:54,642 --> 00:04:57,253
This City Pop-Up now.
What do you like to have?
139
00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:58,775
We got City Pop-up
key chains,
140
00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:00,169
City cell phone charm,
141
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,910
City anime sculpture.
142
00:05:01,997 --> 00:05:04,215
- Well, actually,
I'm looking for a Labubu.
143
00:05:04,216 --> 00:05:06,480
- Ah, yeah,
everyone love Labubu.
144
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,219
They real hard
to keep in stock.
145
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:10,396
Very expensive
'cause of tariffs.
146
00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:12,050
- You know, uh,
it's really important.
147
00:05:12,181 --> 00:05:13,487
I got this new girlfriend,
148
00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:15,924
and she wants this specific
Labubu for her birthday.
149
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:18,012
- Oh, that very rare Labubu.
150
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:20,189
You only find that
in a mystery box.
151
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,712
- Mystery box?
152
00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:23,584
- Hi. Are you guys
still serving food?
153
00:05:23,671 --> 00:05:25,933
- No, no, no, Wok is dead.
Haven't you heard the news?
154
00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:27,587
♪
155
00:05:27,588 --> 00:05:29,371
- Can't I just buy this Labubu?
156
00:05:29,372 --> 00:05:30,852
- No, that not the way it work.
157
00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:32,983
You buy mystery box,
you open it,
158
00:05:32,984 --> 00:05:34,595
hopefully you get
the one you want.
159
00:05:34,725 --> 00:05:36,378
- Okay, how much
is a mystery box?
160
00:05:36,379 --> 00:05:38,337
- $85.
161
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,426
- 85?
162
00:05:39,556 --> 00:05:41,384
- Yeah, you gotta pay tariff.
163
00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:42,819
You think I pay tariff?
No, no, no, no.
164
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:44,169
You pay tariff.
165
00:05:44,256 --> 00:05:45,606
- Well, okay, I'll take one.
166
00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:48,957
♪ ♪
167
00:06:00,055 --> 00:06:02,143
- Yeah, well, Wok is dead,
you stupid bitch!
168
00:06:02,144 --> 00:06:03,493
Stop nagging me!
169
00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:04,886
[package tears]
BUTTERS: Ah, dang it!
170
00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:06,540
This is the wrong one!
171
00:06:06,670 --> 00:06:08,759
- Oh, yeah, that just
Happiness Labubu.
172
00:06:08,846 --> 00:06:10,194
Very common. Very common.
173
00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:12,066
You try again, $85.
174
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:14,285
- I have to pay another $85
175
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:15,984
and I still might not get
the one I want?
176
00:06:16,071 --> 00:06:18,072
- Hey, it's not me,
it's your government.
177
00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:19,378
I don't get fucked by tariff.
178
00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:21,075
You get fucked by tariff.
179
00:06:21,076 --> 00:06:23,905
In China, we call that
hot potato.
180
00:06:24,035 --> 00:06:25,297
[dynamic music]
181
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,298
ANNOUNCER:
You're watching Fox News.
182
00:06:27,299 --> 00:06:29,780
REPORTER: The president
has just returned
183
00:06:29,911 --> 00:06:32,913
from his historic
tariff summit overseas.
184
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:35,829
There's the president now,
looking handsome as ever.
185
00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:37,745
Oh, and there's
the Prince of Darkness,
186
00:06:37,875 --> 00:06:40,878
who's been traveling with the
president as of late.
187
00:06:40,965 --> 00:06:42,966
The president has made his way
off of Air Force One
188
00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:45,186
and will now speak to
a diverse crowd of reporters.
189
00:06:45,187 --> 00:06:46,927
[reporters clamoring]
190
00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:49,625
- Mr. Pre--Mr. President,
how did the tariff meetings go?
191
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:51,367
- Ah, they went great, buddy!
192
00:06:51,454 --> 00:06:53,108
[reporters clamoring]
193
00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:55,893
- Mr. President, we're all
dying to know something.
194
00:06:55,980 --> 00:06:58,286
Your wife, Melania, has been
staying in New York
195
00:06:58,287 --> 00:06:59,679
and away from the White House.
196
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:00,942
- That's right!
197
00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:04,119
- Well, what Fox News really
wants to know is
198
00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:06,077
are you fucking Satan?
199
00:07:07,339 --> 00:07:09,516
- No! I'm not fucking Satan!
200
00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:12,127
- We're just
sorta hanging out.
201
00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:14,042
- Oh, come on, President Trump.
202
00:07:14,129 --> 00:07:15,565
With everything
you've been doing,
203
00:07:15,696 --> 00:07:18,046
pretty much the whole country
thinks you're fucking Satan now.
204
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:19,830
- I'm not fucking Satan!
205
00:07:19,917 --> 00:07:22,311
- Can we go, please?
206
00:07:24,966 --> 00:07:26,837
- He is fucking Satan.
207
00:07:26,924 --> 00:07:28,752
- That guy's definitely
fucking Satan.
208
00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:29,840
What a stud.
209
00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:31,886
- Yeah, Fox News!
210
00:07:33,104 --> 00:07:34,366
PC PRINCIPAL:
All right, everyone, listen up,
211
00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:36,150
As you know, there's a lot
being done in the country
212
00:07:36,151 --> 00:07:38,066
to bring Christian values
back to our schools.
213
00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:39,763
Our new school counselor
has some concerns
214
00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:40,764
that I understand
he'd like to voice.
215
00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:41,809
Go ahead, Jesus.
216
00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:46,640
- Well, I'm just a bit confused
217
00:07:46,770 --> 00:07:48,772
about the dramatic rise
in fist fighting
218
00:07:48,903 --> 00:07:50,382
over these Labubus.
219
00:07:50,513 --> 00:07:51,558
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
220
00:07:51,688 --> 00:07:52,733
- Oh, the Labubus.
221
00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:54,777
- Kids go nuts for 'em.
222
00:07:54,778 --> 00:07:58,128
- I just don't quite understand
what the fascination is.
223
00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:00,392
- Well, they're just the new fad
of the month, you know.
224
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:02,960
- They make them scarce
and hard to find a secret one.
225
00:08:03,047 --> 00:08:05,527
- Yeah, and then all the kids
make their Labubu TikToks.
226
00:08:05,528 --> 00:08:07,181
- Labubu TikTok?
227
00:08:07,182 --> 00:08:08,749
- Yeah, the kids make 'em
and they watch 'em.
228
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:10,184
I can pull one up.
229
00:08:10,185 --> 00:08:12,883
This is Kelly Bronson
from Mrs. Turner's class.
230
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:15,929
- Hey, guys, this is another
Labubu unboxing video!
231
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:17,192
I got this Labubu online.
232
00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:18,497
I'm pretty sure
it's not a Lafufu.
233
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,977
I got the QR code right here.
234
00:08:20,108 --> 00:08:21,979
We're gonna see what we got.
Hope it's a rare one.
235
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:24,154
If it is, I'm absolutely
gonna freak out.
236
00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:26,549
Okay, let's see,
let's see, let's see!
237
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,942
- ♪ Labu ♪
238
00:08:28,943 --> 00:08:30,770
- [screaming]
239
00:08:30,771 --> 00:08:32,120
Oh, my God!
240
00:08:32,250 --> 00:08:33,991
Oh, my God!
241
00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:35,992
Okay, okay,
let's start the ritual.
242
00:08:35,993 --> 00:08:37,167
- ♪ Labubu
243
00:08:37,168 --> 00:08:40,563
♪ Labu-bu
244
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:43,391
♪ La-bula-bula-bu-bu-bu-bu ♪
245
00:08:43,392 --> 00:08:46,176
♪ La-bula-bula-bu-bu-bu-bu
246
00:08:46,177 --> 00:08:48,005
♪ Labubu, Labubu
247
00:08:48,136 --> 00:08:50,617
[static droning,
heavy breathing]
248
00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:54,142
- [screaming]
249
00:08:56,013 --> 00:08:57,448
- What the hell was that?
250
00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:59,973
- That's a Labubu
unboxing TikTok.
251
00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:02,237
- Kids go nuts for 'em.
252
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:04,805
- But that's, like,
some dark Satanic ritual.
253
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:06,588
- Oh, yeah, Labubus are demonic.
254
00:09:06,589 --> 00:09:08,025
- Yeah, dark magic.
255
00:09:08,156 --> 00:09:09,678
- I don't know if they come that
way from China,
256
00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:12,247
or the kids are infusing them
with some Sumerian dark entity.
257
00:09:12,377 --> 00:09:13,683
- It's Mesopotamian.
258
00:09:13,814 --> 00:09:15,598
- Got it. So what are your
major concerns, Jesus?
259
00:09:18,166 --> 00:09:19,340
- Bro.
260
00:09:19,341 --> 00:09:20,821
That's not normal.
261
00:09:20,951 --> 00:09:22,518
These kids are in trouble.
262
00:09:22,649 --> 00:09:25,216
- Yeah, that's why every school
needs a counselor.
263
00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:28,219
[dramatic music]
264
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:29,786
♪ ♪
265
00:09:33,094 --> 00:09:36,097
[upbeat music]
266
00:09:36,227 --> 00:09:38,664
[singing in foreign language]
267
00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:40,754
- Welcome City Pop-Up.
Take order, please.
268
00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:43,669
- I have $88.42 in here.
269
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,235
I need to buy
another mystery box.
270
00:09:45,236 --> 00:09:48,631
- Oh, sorry,
Labubu mystery box $120.
271
00:09:48,762 --> 00:09:50,677
- What?
It was $85!
272
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:52,504
- Yeah, yeah, tariffs when up!
273
00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:54,636
You never know with tariffs.
They make no sense.
274
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:55,986
- But that's not fair!
275
00:09:56,073 --> 00:09:58,074
- Yeah, no shit,
tariffs not fair!
276
00:09:58,075 --> 00:10:00,643
- Please, sir, my girlfriend's
party is today,
277
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:02,165
and I have to get
the Labubu she wants.
278
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,297
Please!
279
00:10:03,298 --> 00:10:04,342
- It's okay, it's okay.
280
00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:05,909
I have idea.
281
00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:08,129
You want mystery box
for cheap price?
282
00:10:08,259 --> 00:10:10,348
You use claw machine.
283
00:10:10,435 --> 00:10:11,697
You try your luck.
284
00:10:11,698 --> 00:10:13,742
Use claw machine
to get a mystery box,
285
00:10:13,743 --> 00:10:16,876
open it up, hopefully
you get good Labubu you want.
286
00:10:16,877 --> 00:10:17,877
[upbeat music]
287
00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:19,487
- ♪ Labubu
288
00:10:19,488 --> 00:10:22,230
♪ Labu-labu-labu
289
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:24,101
♪ Labubu ♪
290
00:10:24,232 --> 00:10:27,103
♪ Labu-labu-labu-labu ♪
291
00:10:27,104 --> 00:10:28,409
MR. KIM: Oh, you so close.
292
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:29,454
Try again.
293
00:10:29,585 --> 00:10:32,109
- Oh, jeez.
294
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,068
- ♪ Labubu ♪
295
00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,549
- Oh, here we go.
296
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:40,378
I get screwed by tariffs,
so I have to screw the children!
297
00:10:40,509 --> 00:10:41,945
What do you not understand?
298
00:10:42,076 --> 00:10:42,946
- [huffs]
299
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:48,429
- Yeah, well, Wok's not
coming back, bitch!
300
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:49,953
Go wok, go brok!
301
00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:51,651
[machine beeps]
- ♪ Labu ♪
302
00:10:52,695 --> 00:10:55,393
JESUS: Thank you for coming,
Mrs. Paxton, Mrs. Gray.
303
00:10:55,524 --> 00:10:58,569
The reason I called you in today
is because your girls were
304
00:10:58,570 --> 00:11:01,355
in a major altercation
over their Labubus.
305
00:11:01,356 --> 00:11:03,793
- Okay, so what are you gonna
do about it?
306
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:06,013
- Well, I was hoping
we could work together
307
00:11:06,143 --> 00:11:08,579
to maybe just keep them away
from the Labubus.
308
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,712
- Oh, sure, just take
their Labubus away.
309
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:12,366
Great counseling.
310
00:11:12,367 --> 00:11:14,978
- Look, I have reason to believe
that the students are using
311
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:18,199
Labubus for some kind of...
ritual.
312
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:20,636
- Yeah, but to do that, you have
to have a super rare one.
313
00:11:20,767 --> 00:11:22,943
- They're the only ones
girls can use in dark rituals.
314
00:11:23,073 --> 00:11:25,118
- You know that they're demonic?
315
00:11:25,119 --> 00:11:27,512
- Yeah.
What are we supposed to do?
316
00:11:27,599 --> 00:11:30,080
My daughter sees Kelly Miller
summoning demonic forces
317
00:11:30,211 --> 00:11:33,561
on TikTok, then she wants to be
like Kelly Miller.
318
00:11:33,562 --> 00:11:35,782
- Did Kelly Miller
summon demonic forces?
319
00:11:35,912 --> 00:11:37,609
- I don't know,
she hung herself.
320
00:11:37,740 --> 00:11:40,308
- Well, we should probably keep
the girls off of TikTok.
321
00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:42,179
- Oh, yeah,
just keep 'em off TikTok.
322
00:11:42,310 --> 00:11:43,964
That's some clever
counseling there.
323
00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:46,096
- Do you have kids?
- No, I don't.
324
00:11:46,183 --> 00:11:47,794
- Figures.
- Well, when you do,
325
00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:49,230
you try and keep 'em off
of TikTok
326
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:51,101
and out of
the Asian pop-up store.
327
00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:53,974
- Wait,
what is an Asian pop-up store?
328
00:11:54,061 --> 00:11:56,366
- That's where the girls get
all the Labubus.
329
00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:57,846
- Where did they find this guy?
330
00:11:57,847 --> 00:11:59,936
- We told you he was
a crappy counselor
331
00:12:01,895 --> 00:12:04,985
ANNOUNCER:
This is a Fox News Alert!
332
00:12:05,072 --> 00:12:07,988
- As debates
on American tariffs continue,
333
00:12:08,075 --> 00:12:10,468
the question on every
American's mind tonight,
334
00:12:10,599 --> 00:12:13,427
is President Trump
fucking Satan?
335
00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:15,603
The president's been seen less
and less with his wife
336
00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:17,475
and more often with his new pal,
337
00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:19,434
making people
all around the world say,
338
00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:22,828
"Donald Trump has got to be
fucking Satan, for sure."
339
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,960
- Well, for all of us
who are still skeptical
340
00:12:24,961 --> 00:12:26,962
that President Trump
is fucking Satan,
341
00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:28,704
Fox News has obtained
some footage
342
00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:31,662
of President Trump seeming
to be fucking Satan.
343
00:12:31,663 --> 00:12:33,361
This was at
a golf course yesterday
344
00:12:33,448 --> 00:12:35,450
where the president was
heroically golfing.
345
00:12:35,580 --> 00:12:37,452
You can just make out Satan
going behind a bush
346
00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:39,149
and President Trump
right there--
347
00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:41,282
he's fucking Satan.
Karen, what do you think?
348
00:12:41,412 --> 00:12:43,806
- I think the president is
definitely fucking Satan,
349
00:12:43,937 --> 00:12:45,939
and I love it.
350
00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:47,679
- Of course, a lot of Americans
still argue
351
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:50,203
there's no way the president
could be fucking Satan.
352
00:12:50,204 --> 00:12:52,205
So we have a body language
expert to show us
353
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:54,120
just how it is possible.
354
00:12:54,121 --> 00:12:57,167
- Well, if Mr. President Trump
is fucking Satan--
355
00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:58,994
and I'm not saying
if he is or isn't.
356
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:01,214
I'm just kinda hoping he is--
357
00:13:01,215 --> 00:13:03,869
he mostly likely
is coming in from the back.
358
00:13:03,870 --> 00:13:06,349
Now, Satan has a pretty large
physical presence,
359
00:13:06,350 --> 00:13:08,482
so we're pretty sure President
Trump would have to get on top
360
00:13:08,483 --> 00:13:09,832
and--
- Ah!
361
00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:11,485
- Oh, my God, the president
is doing things
362
00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:12,616
no other president
has done before.
363
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:14,357
I love him.
364
00:13:14,358 --> 00:13:16,272
- If you don't think President
Trump is fucking Satan,
365
00:13:16,273 --> 00:13:18,188
this definitely proves
how he could be!
366
00:13:18,275 --> 00:13:21,277
[upbeat music]
367
00:13:21,278 --> 00:13:25,674
[singing in foreign language]
368
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:29,199
[angelic tones]
369
00:13:30,287 --> 00:13:32,202
- Welcome to City Asian
Pop-Up Store.
370
00:13:32,289 --> 00:13:33,769
Take order, please.
371
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,249
- Are you the one that has been
selling all these Labubus
372
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:37,859
to my students?
373
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:39,209
- Oh, boy.
374
00:13:39,296 --> 00:13:41,559
Look, it not my fault,
these city prices, okay?
375
00:13:41,690 --> 00:13:43,256
Labubus very expensive.
376
00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:45,475
- Those dolls you are selling
are cursed!
377
00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:47,087
- Yeah, no shit they cursed.
378
00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:49,523
It's called tariff.
You pass it along.
379
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:50,873
I get the curse,
I put the curse on you.
380
00:13:51,004 --> 00:13:52,353
It's like AIDS.
381
00:13:52,483 --> 00:13:53,920
BUTTERS: Oh, my God, I got it!
382
00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:56,226
I got the super rare!
383
00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:57,966
- Hey, what the hell
you talking about?
384
00:13:57,967 --> 00:13:59,534
- This is the one
my girlfriend wants!
385
00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:01,579
Now I can take it
to her birthday party!
386
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:03,711
- My child, put that down,
it's dangerous!
387
00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:06,454
- Hey, hey, hold on,
that's super rare Labubu.
388
00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:09,196
That worth, like, $600.
You gotta pay more tariff.
389
00:14:13,330 --> 00:14:15,331
- Oh, my God, will you go away?
390
00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:16,985
- Listen, both of you!
391
00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:19,509
There are more important issues
at hand.
392
00:14:19,510 --> 00:14:21,991
My child, you cannot take that
to a birthday party.
393
00:14:23,558 --> 00:14:25,255
- Ah, shit, where he go?
394
00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:48,887
- Satan?
395
00:14:48,888 --> 00:14:51,847
Why are you so sad?
396
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:56,895
- I wish to be gone
from this place.
397
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,202
- I do not understand.
398
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:01,161
If you do not want to be here,
399
00:15:01,291 --> 00:15:04,033
then why do you stay?
400
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:08,646
- I am forced to stay
by the dark tides of destiny.
401
00:15:08,777 --> 00:15:13,607
I wanted to leave months ago,
but I cannot
402
00:15:13,608 --> 00:15:17,917
because of what's in this box.
403
00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:21,877
- What's in the box?
404
00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:24,880
- The secret none must know,
405
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:28,884
and yet, all will soon discover.
406
00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:32,018
I can feel the tides of change.
407
00:15:32,148 --> 00:15:36,022
The final showdown is upon us.
408
00:15:41,114 --> 00:15:44,334
[upbeat music playing]
409
00:15:44,421 --> 00:15:48,599
[indistinct chatter]
410
00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:50,471
[blows landing]
411
00:15:50,601 --> 00:15:52,167
[doorbell rings]
412
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:54,648
♪
413
00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:56,999
- Happy birthday, Red!
414
00:15:57,130 --> 00:15:58,435
- Butters.
415
00:15:58,566 --> 00:16:00,916
Wait.
Is that what I think it is?
416
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:04,137
- Well, you'll have to wait till
you open it to find out--
417
00:16:04,224 --> 00:16:05,441
Oh, all right then.
418
00:16:05,442 --> 00:16:08,401
♪
419
00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:09,969
- [screaming]
420
00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:12,841
I love you, Butters!
421
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,017
- Wow!
422
00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:16,236
- I got it, you guys!
423
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:17,933
- Oh, wow!
- It's so cool!
424
00:16:18,020 --> 00:16:19,455
- Oh, it's so cute!
425
00:16:19,456 --> 00:16:20,849
- I got the super rare,
426
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,459
all thanks to Butters.
427
00:16:22,590 --> 00:16:24,374
- So are you gonna do it?
428
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:26,810
- Yeah! We're gonna go upstairs
and do it!
429
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:28,247
- Whoa! We're gonna what?
430
00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:29,597
- Come up to my room, Butters!
431
00:16:29,684 --> 00:16:30,598
- Oh, my God!
432
00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:32,294
♪ ♪
433
00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:33,514
- Hey, if anyone wants
to watch us do it,
434
00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:34,644
come on up!
435
00:16:34,645 --> 00:16:36,124
- Okay, yeah.
- Great.
436
00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:38,040
- Oh!
This is all really sudden, Red!
437
00:16:38,171 --> 00:16:39,214
Wait!
438
00:16:39,215 --> 00:16:41,522
[engine revving, tires squeal]
439
00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:43,653
[line ringing]
440
00:16:43,654 --> 00:16:46,439
[phone ringing]
441
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,094
- South Park Elementary.
I'm sorry, we're closed.
442
00:16:49,095 --> 00:16:50,487
- Bev! I need to know
which of the students
443
00:16:50,618 --> 00:16:52,533
has a birthday today.
444
00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:53,621
- Who is this?
445
00:16:53,708 --> 00:16:55,753
- It's me, Jesus!
446
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:56,885
- Who?
447
00:16:57,016 --> 00:16:58,321
- The school counselor!
448
00:16:58,452 --> 00:17:01,149
- Oh. I don't know who has
a birthday today.
449
00:17:01,150 --> 00:17:03,673
That was actually always
the counselor's job.
450
00:17:03,674 --> 00:17:06,807
- Can you just look it up
in the school records, please?
451
00:17:06,808 --> 00:17:08,069
- Hang on.
452
00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:10,420
Guess I'm doing your job
too now.
453
00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:13,727
- Okay, okay.
Oh, my God.
454
00:17:13,728 --> 00:17:15,860
I'm so excited to finally do it.
455
00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:18,907
- Well, yeah, I guess
I'm excited to do it, too, Red.
456
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,734
- Okay, I think we're all ready.
457
00:17:20,735 --> 00:17:22,867
Here, you take a video
of the whole thing.
458
00:17:22,954 --> 00:17:25,173
- Whoa!
Can't we just kiss first?
459
00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:28,177
- Hey! What's up, guys?
This is my TikTok Labubu video.
460
00:17:28,308 --> 00:17:30,571
I got the super rare,
so let's see if it works.
461
00:17:30,701 --> 00:17:32,007
- Hey, we want to watch.
462
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:34,140
- Yeah, come on in, you guys.
463
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:36,750
[chicken clucking]
464
00:17:36,751 --> 00:17:38,666
[all chanting]
Labubu, Labubu.
465
00:17:38,753 --> 00:17:40,362
Labubu, Labubu.
466
00:17:40,363 --> 00:17:42,756
- What the heck's going on?
all: Labubu, Labubu.
467
00:17:42,757 --> 00:17:44,105
[knife slashing, chicken cries]
- Ah!
468
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:46,064
- [slurping]
- Oh, God!
469
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,457
- [retching]
470
00:17:52,549 --> 00:17:55,248
[electricity sparking]
471
00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:56,945
all: Labubu, Labubu.
472
00:17:57,076 --> 00:18:00,557
Labubu, Labubu.
473
00:18:00,688 --> 00:18:02,689
- Here he comes!
474
00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:05,518
[low groaning]
475
00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:07,173
- Ah!
476
00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:09,000
- We call the demonic forces!
477
00:18:09,131 --> 00:18:11,524
Appear before us
at my birthday party!
478
00:18:11,525 --> 00:18:12,917
- This is so cool!
479
00:18:13,048 --> 00:18:15,529
- [growling]
480
00:18:15,659 --> 00:18:17,531
- Ta-da!
481
00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:19,575
all: Ew!
482
00:18:19,576 --> 00:18:21,404
- Wait, that thing
is fucking Satan?
483
00:18:21,535 --> 00:18:24,363
- No! I'm not fucking Satan!
484
00:18:24,364 --> 00:18:26,366
[growls]
485
00:18:26,496 --> 00:18:28,584
[screaming]
486
00:18:28,585 --> 00:18:32,067
ANNOUNCER:
This is a Fox News Super Alert!
487
00:18:32,198 --> 00:18:35,330
- We may just have another
Trump and Satan spotting.
488
00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:36,724
The two are rumored to be
489
00:18:36,811 --> 00:18:38,377
in a small mountain town
in the Rockies.
490
00:18:38,378 --> 00:18:40,423
Let's go to
our Colorado affiliate.
491
00:18:40,554 --> 00:18:41,816
[metal scraping, wind blowing]
492
00:18:41,946 --> 00:18:43,121
- Yeah, guys,
there's definitely black clouds
493
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,340
and swarms of locusts here.
494
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:47,777
Um, probably another
Labubu party.
495
00:18:47,778 --> 00:18:49,431
You know,
whenever there's a Labubu party,
496
00:18:49,432 --> 00:18:51,825
the president and Satan
usually make an appearance.
497
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:53,219
- We've got our
eye in the sky now.
498
00:18:53,349 --> 00:18:54,742
Guys, what are you seeing?
499
00:18:54,829 --> 00:18:56,612
REPORTER:
Yeah, you can see little girls
500
00:18:56,613 --> 00:18:58,267
running and screaming.
501
00:18:58,398 --> 00:19:00,182
The president just coming out
onto the front lawn--
502
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:01,836
and yes, there is Satan.
503
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:03,881
They're definitely
hanging out.
504
00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:06,579
- Come on, let's go!
505
00:19:06,580 --> 00:19:09,104
JESUS: Lucifer!
506
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:11,410
- So...
507
00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:13,803
it is you.
508
00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:15,936
- Just what are you doing,
Satan?
509
00:19:15,937 --> 00:19:17,633
I will know.
510
00:19:17,634 --> 00:19:19,419
[brakes squealing]
511
00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:22,422
- Okay, it looks like Jesus
Christ is now on the scene
512
00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:24,814
for some kind of
biblical showdown.
513
00:19:24,815 --> 00:19:27,077
- I have seen your evil at work,
Satan.
514
00:19:27,078 --> 00:19:29,602
I bid you leave this realm
at once.
515
00:19:29,603 --> 00:19:31,822
- You think
I don't want to leave?
516
00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:33,911
I am bound to him!
517
00:19:33,998 --> 00:19:35,825
- Bound to him how?
518
00:19:35,826 --> 00:19:38,568
- All right, fine! Here!
519
00:19:38,655 --> 00:19:41,049
You all want to know the truth?
520
00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:45,271
Yes! We're together!
521
00:19:45,401 --> 00:19:47,402
We've been together for months,
522
00:19:47,403 --> 00:19:50,841
and I want to leave him,
but I can't
523
00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:53,148
because...
524
00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:54,802
I'm pregnant.
525
00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:05,420
- He's pregnant?
526
00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:06,596
- Whoa.
527
00:20:06,683 --> 00:20:08,511
- So now you all know.
528
00:20:08,642 --> 00:20:11,035
I am forced to stay
in this situation
529
00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:12,950
for several more years.
530
00:20:16,345 --> 00:20:19,522
- Uh, Satan is saying he's been
trapped at the White House
531
00:20:19,653 --> 00:20:21,742
because he's pregnant.
532
00:20:21,872 --> 00:20:23,700
Uh, let's get
our science expert in here
533
00:20:23,831 --> 00:20:26,050
to see if
that's actually possible.
534
00:20:26,137 --> 00:20:29,532
- Yeah, uh, demonic pregnancies
work a little different.
535
00:20:29,663 --> 00:20:32,360
The term is "butt baby."
536
00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:33,927
- All right, well,
that seems to be it.
537
00:20:33,928 --> 00:20:37,192
Satan is pregnant with the
president's child.
538
00:20:37,279 --> 00:20:39,977
So Fox News can now confirm
539
00:20:40,108 --> 00:20:43,111
Donald Trump has been fucking
Satan this whole time.
540
00:20:43,242 --> 00:20:44,503
- Yeah!
[cheering]
541
00:20:44,504 --> 00:20:45,808
This is a great day
for Fox News.
542
00:20:45,809 --> 00:20:48,115
- Yes, Fox News!
543
00:20:48,116 --> 00:20:49,726
- For all the doubters
who thought Donald Trump
544
00:20:49,857 --> 00:20:51,337
wasn't fucking Satan,
545
00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:52,990
in your face!
546
00:20:53,121 --> 00:20:54,862
We're gonna check in now
with Kid Rock.
547
00:20:54,949 --> 00:20:57,342
Kid, you must be overcome
with emotion.
548
00:20:57,343 --> 00:20:59,692
- I just--
I just honestly didn't think
549
00:20:59,693 --> 00:21:01,956
the president was fucking Satan,
but
550
00:21:02,086 --> 00:21:04,872
now knowing that he has been
this whole time,
551
00:21:04,959 --> 00:21:07,830
I'm just so happy.
552
00:21:07,831 --> 00:21:11,226
[bell rings]
553
00:21:11,357 --> 00:21:13,967
JESUS: Well, I hope you guys
learned a valuable lesson.
554
00:21:13,968 --> 00:21:16,971
If you mess around
and you aren't safe,
555
00:21:17,101 --> 00:21:19,887
it can have really
big consequences.
556
00:21:21,889 --> 00:21:24,282
- Yeah, I'm not having sex
for a long time.
557
00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,196
- And I'm done with Labubus.
558
00:21:26,197 --> 00:21:28,547
- Well, that's good,
because as your counselor,
559
00:21:28,548 --> 00:21:30,680
I'm banning Labubus from school.
560
00:21:30,767 --> 00:21:33,379
And TikTok.
And cell phones.
561
00:21:33,509 --> 00:21:34,597
Now get back to class.
562
00:21:34,728 --> 00:21:36,251
You both have detention
for two weeks.
563
00:21:36,338 --> 00:21:38,471
- Oh, man!
564
00:21:38,601 --> 00:21:40,733
- Wow, new counselor's
kind of a dick.
565
00:21:40,734 --> 00:21:43,824
- Yeah, but he's better
than the last guy.
566
00:21:47,393 --> 00:21:49,482
- ♪ Labubu
567
00:21:49,569 --> 00:21:51,614
♪ La, labu-labu ♪
568
00:21:54,791 --> 00:21:57,707
[theme music]
569
00:21:57,794 --> 00:22:04,671
♪ ♪
37902
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